It was great always looking for more spaces for lgbt Jews in the diaspora, especially for folks outside of New York/LA . Thank you to Dan and team for the event .

On this thread - and this thread only - Rule 5 (We're not your Shadchan/Matchmaker) is suspended!

Feel free to introduce yourself here, make an old-school "seeking love match" post, or, respond to others who've posted.

Include the information you think is most relevant about yourself and the kind of person you're looking for, but be sure to phrase it positively and respectfully. (Rude posts will still be removed.)

Great things to include:

• Your orientation/what you're seeking
• Judaic affiliation, if any
• Hobbies
• What you're looking for (romance, tennis partners, Shabbat dinner guests, board game partners)
• Your age / preferred age range

If you're open to DMs/private messages, say so - but know that folks may message you privately anyway.

Use your common sense when posting: Don't share any real-life identifying info on the thread (No names, no addresses). Definitely share general geographic info, age/age range, and other useful info. Remember, though, the internet is a scary place and lots of folks aren't who they say they are - be smart before you decide to exchange anything real!

(Also, we can only keep things civil/responsible on this thread. If you decide to take the conversation elsewhere, regular Reddit rules apply, but we can't get involved.)

I know many queer Jews who are freaking out right now due to Recent Developments. I feel alone and I can't go to queer community about my decision to make Aliyah, and I'm guessing many of y'all feel the same. If you are considering making Aliyah/in the process/plan to, please comment and I'll send you a link to the server! I think community is super necessary right now. I'm guessing there will be a wave of new olim (especially queer Jews), so let's make that community ourselves!!

I know not everyone here is American, so if you are making Aliyah soon due to other reasons, feel free to join too!

Olim are also welcome, especially if you are open to giving advice/answering questions.

Mods, if this allowed I understand and am sorry!!

I’ve always felt like I don’t fully belong. In queer spaces, I often don’t feel welcomed because of my Jewish identity, or I feel like I’m not ‘queer enough.’ In Jewish spaces, I don’t fully feel included because I’m gay. So, where do I fit in? I feel incredibly lonely, and in a city this big, it’s hard to find gay Jewish spaces. I also am not really so religious so joining a synagogue feels pointless and more connect to Judaism on a cultural level because of how I was raised. How will I ever find a partner? I’ve never been part of a community or had a relationship, and it’s starting to really wear me down and make me feel genuinely depressed.

Dating apps haven’t been working for me. I’ve maybe met five Jewish guys on them, and only two were people I actually liked, but I ultimately got ghosted. I live in a swing state in the South, so my options aren’t entirely limited since there’s a decent Jewish community here. However, I struggle to find cis gay man. At the gay Jewish events I’ve attended, the crowd often skews more trans or non-binary, which isn’t what I’m looking for.

Should I consider moving to a different state? If so, would Miami or NYC be better for gay Jewish dating? I’d love to live in NYC, but I don’t want to move solely to find someone to date and not to mention it’s so expensive.

I'm just tired and feel that I'll never be in a relationship and will have to ultimately settle for someone who isn't Jewish.

For this bi-weekly (yay, more bi stuff!) post we're shifting focus to create a space for folks to just talk and share what's on their mind, even if it's not specifically LGBTQ/Jewish focused. Hopefully, as a space made up of primarily LGBTQ+ Jews we'll be a good support for each other with allllll that's going on around the world right now.

Please note: Our quality standards and expectations of civility are still in place, and this isn't a thread for name calling or direct insults. This is a place to process feelings and be in community with each other and just share what's on your mind.

Shabbat shalom!

I am planning on moving from the Southern US to Haifa. I am on testosterone, and my wife is a trans woman on HRT as well. I've heard mixed info on if it's good or bad there.

1. how safe do you think it is for trans people in Israel currently?
2. do you think it will get worse in the next 5 years?
3. what are your experiences as a trans person in Israel?
4. if you are knowledgeable on how both the US and Israel are for trans people currently, what are the differences and similarities?

Edit: I made a discord server for anyone making Aliyah/considering making Aliyah and Olim! Comment/message me for the link.

Edit: so far I've messaged everyone who's commented!

Hi all, I am a modern Orthodox Jew (26F) and really struggling with my family accepting me and my partner. While my partner (26F) isn’t Jewish, she is extremely supportive and even interested in Judaism. She stays over for Shabbat and is respectful and even keeps Shabbat with me. I have taught her a lot of stuff when it comes to day to day things and she is accepting of everything. We got some new kitchen stuff that we toiveled to cook with at her place and she is really spiritual. She grew up catholic but isn’t practicing and really only prays to god. My whole family is in horror that I am not only gay but also dating a non Jew but she is literally the best partner I have ever had. Any advice?

With all of the the antisemitism that happening in the 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️. Do you think that there will be permanent split between Queer Jewish world & Non-Queer Jewish world?

I am concerned that this could become a reality. Given the blindness of the Queer community to the problem of Antisemitism. I tried to explains this to queer people but, many of them but many seem tonedeaf.

I want to see the opinion of other people on this topic because think it's an important topic that's underdiscussed .

I’m an almost 20yo lesbian jew who’s struggling with making lgbtq friends who are also jewish/accepting of jews, and was wondering if you all had any advice on how i could meet people. i used to just make friends in the greater-queer community at my college, but since 10/7 most of them have become vehemently anti jew/anti israel and i just don’t think that being friends with people like that serves me well. and dating people is even harder, do apps work? or should i try in person group meetups? i started going to hillel last semester (my college doesn’t have one but i got an invite to a different nearby college’s group), so maybe that will eventually lead to me meeting more people to be friends with or date.

i just feel so isolated right now with making friends and meeting people because it feels like i have to vet them before i get invested in the relationship, because if i don’t, i could find out they don’t support my people and have that let down. it’d be nice if it was just simple haha! thanks in advance for any advice y’all have for me

They can be found on Spotify here! Only heard one song, but I'm delighted!

My fiance and I are going to Israel in the beginning of February for his sister's wedding. My fiance is Israeli, I am a Polish-American non-observant catholic - and this is my fourth time visiting Israel - and each visit is amazing! My man's from Tel Aviv which is a great LGBT-friendly area (Gay Pride is amazing there) and I felt so welcomed there even though I'm not Israeli or Jewish.

So I'm just curious, do you feel safe and welcomed as a gay person in Israel? I gotta say I feel more safe in Israel as an openly gay man than in Poland which is nasty towards us.

For this bi-weekly (yay, more bi stuff!) post we're shifting focus to create a space for folks to just talk and share what's on their mind, even if it's not specifically LGBTQ/Jewish focused. Hopefully, as a space made up of primarily LGBTQ+ Jews we'll be a good support for each other with allllll that's going on around the world right now.

Please note: Our quality standards and expectations of civility are still in place, and this isn't a thread for name calling or direct insults. This is a place to process feelings and be in community with each other and just share what's on your mind.

Shabbat shalom!

🌈✨ Queer Happy Hour: Celebrating Joy, Resilience & Standing Against Antisemitism ✨🌈

The last few months have been challenging for queer Jews, as we’ve faced rising antisemitism and continued struggles for our communities. But through it all, we remain strong. Queers Against Antisemitism is hosting a special Queer Happy Hour to celebrate joy, resilience, and our unwavering unity in the face of hate.

Whether you're a queer Jew, an ally, or both — come together to stand against antisemitism and connect with others who share a commitment to building a stronger, more inclusive future. This is a space to laugh, heal, and support one another. Let’s raise our glasses and our voices in solidarity!

For security reasons, the exact location will be sent to registered participants a day before the event.

San Diego January 21st

Register here

SAN DIEGO INVITE

Los Angeles January 23rd

Register here

LA INVITE

San Francisco January 27th

Register here

SF INVITE

When you spend the day with your Gay Jewish Uncle (who’s a Jewish History Professor) and talk about everything from the 1980’s LGBTQ Comedy Scene to the intricate history of Jews in Los Angeles. I learned he had a mutual friend with Lea DeLaria, who played Big Boo in OITNB. This is also the same Gay Jewish Uncle who took me to see Carol in theaters. Gotta love inter-generational Jewish Gay/Lesbian bonding.

I converted to Judaism in 2018 with heavy theistic beliefs. 7.5 years later, I find myself becoming more agnostic with age. I’m having a hard time trying to understand my place in Judaism right now. I know there are many agnostic and atheist born Jews, but does this happen to converts too?

Any gay Jewish books / just good books you'd all recommend? I have a friend who converted and I'd like some gift ideas / would enjoy some reading myself!

I apologize in advance if this post causes offense or distress to anyone; I’m genuinely looking for anecdotal information regarding such therapy.

I’ll try to shorten the background info: I come from an Orthodox background and have a lot of concerns about coming out. To be honest, if I wasn’t gay I wouldn’t have any issue with my community - I might have minor disagreements over some values but in general I agree with the community beliefs and those few areas of dissent wouldn’t preclude me from happily living a life within the community.

However, the reality is that I am gay, which is something the community I come from does not approve of. To compound the issue, my community is very invested in “shidduchim” and there’s a constant undercurrent of pressure regarding getting married. Essentially I’ve been bombarded with suggestions of whom to date and obviously I’m not interested. I’ve been considering leaving the community but I’m extremely conflicted and unsure if I want to make that leap.

I confided privately with a rabbi I trust and was recommended conversion therapy - to be clear, I don’t think the suggestion was made out of malice. At most this rabbi is misinformed, I don’t think he would knowingly suggest something that harms. All the research I’ve looked at seems to suggest that such therapy does not help and many times causes harm to the patient. I also have a therapist that advised against conversion therapy. On the flip side, this rabbi said that the few people he’s sent to such therapy all came back with positive reviews and all eventually married women.

I want to emphasize don’t hate myself and have nothing against the LGBT community as a whole. I do recognize that there might be some internalized homophobia that’s pushing me to try the therapy but all I really want is some way to remain among my community (and I don’t see that happening if things stay as they are now). I also am aware that my hesitation to leave might be primarily caused by a fear of having my family and community turn their backs on me; however, that doesn’t really change much besides for my motivation.

As it stands, I am thinking about trying conversion therapy and hope it works so I don’t have to deal with my sexuality vs. community concerns. I do not want to undergo something that will ultimately harm me though. Has anyone ever tried conversion therapy? Even if it didn’t work for you, has the therapy harmed you or made your mental health worse in any way?

Sorry for the longer post (I tried to condense it but I wanted to convey a clear picture of my situation) and I’d appreciate any advice or help offered.

... for my 2 non-jewish fiancés. ( okay so they let me call them my goyfriends. but also we're engaged ) 🥔💓🧅 they're very excited to be part of things. i have sour cream & homemade apple sauce already, what other toppings can i introduce to them ? what's your favorite 3rd+ option ?

edit : it occurs to me to mention that as idahoans, we WILL have fry sauce on site. iykyk