Hi! I'm a queer transgender woman in the process of converting to Judaism via Reform. My healing journey and self-acceptance was a profound spiritual experience. it led me to wanting to connect with G-d, which in turn led me to seminary, and my experiences at seminary led me to Judaism. I'm here to get more familiar with the Jewish LGBT community. :-)

We denounce the decision of the ILGA World board to suspend Israel’s leading LGBTQ organization, Aguda, from the organization and unilaterally canceling Aguda’s bid to host an upcoming ILGA conference in Tel Aviv. This is outrageous and unacceptable.

ILGA (International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Association) supposedly stands for respect for human rights, equality and freedom regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression or sex characteristics. But by singling out Israel and Israeli LGBTQ people for opprobrium, ILGA violates its fundamental principles.

Israeli LGBTQ organizations work tirelessly to expand LGBTQ equality – precisely what ILGA exists to do. Israel is the only country in the entire region that enjoys expansive LGBTQ rights. The organizations being harmed by this decision serve queer Israelis and Palestinians, Jews, Christians, and Muslims.

ILGA is free to take issue with the policies of the Israeli government or any other, but it should address those concerns to that government, not by shunning and excommunicating that country’s queer community. Indeed, the international community should do more to support queer and liberal voices in Israel.

ILGA’s actions reflect an appalling, and clearly antisemitic, double standard. ILGA includes member organizations from some of the most repressive regimes on Earth. Yet only Israel and its LGBTQ community are subject to condemnation. Blaming a country’s queer activists for the actions of its government is the antithesis of what ILGA should be doing to advance global LGBTQ equality.

We urge ILGA World to withdraw its discriminatory decision immediately. Please reach out to ILGA and its member organizations to demand that the ILGA World Board reverse these actions.

https://ilga.org/member-organisations/

For the last year I've seen a lot of jews feeling isolated in queer spaces, just mentioning you're jewish - and that's it, you're a monster from their perspective.

That's terrible, and it shouldn't be this way. However...

I want you all to be proud of you are, and being Jewish is on that list. You're better than them, and right now you experiencing something far worse than they ever experienced in their lives. I don't want any of you to feel bad about who you are.

That's it. That's the entire post.

You're all breathtaking!

Hello everyone,

Our Discord server, Dreidels & Dragons, is a safe space and community for Jewish, Jew-ish and Jewish allies TTRPG players and dungeon masters. A wonderful community sprang up in the time it's been up, and we already have more nearly 400 members and around 20 separate D&D (and other systems!) weekly games running, and we hope to see many more!

I can hardly say it's a just a D&D/TTRPG space- it's become so much more. A place to vent, kvetch, talk about art, books and TV shows, we even have a matchmaking channel! So if you're interested in joining a D&D campaign, chit-chat with like-minded people and maybe even find the love of your life... please join us! We'd love to have you :)

If all of that tickled your fancy, don't hesitate to join us on this link: https://discord.gg/dreidel

This was a first for me.

I've never had to end a relationship over antisemitism before, and it might have been one of the most difficult messages I've had to write.

How do you say to somebody "I like you, I think you're great, we get along well, but it's clear that you and your friends hate Jews and I am Jewish"?

I don't think he has any concept about what being Jewish really entails.

I am Jewish before I am Canadian. It's not just my religion, it's my culture.

And more than that- we are a diaspora nation.

Most goyim I've encountered have no idea to what extent being a "diaspora nation" affects us. We have texts dating back hundreds (if not thousands) of years expressing a desire to return home.

We're a people who are spread out and lost, who do not want to be spread out. We just want to go home. We just want to have a place to call home.

This person who I ended things with produced an event at a local venue- the event stated that the proceeds would go towards aide in Gaza.

I'm not opposed to aide, of course I'm not! Innocent victims of war are just that- innocent victims.

What made things awful was that the host of the event went on an anti-Israel tirade at the beginning of the show and not-so-subtly insinuated some pretty blatant lies about Israel.

The guy I was seeing allowed a platform foe somebody to express their hatred of Israel in a way that felt particularly pointed.

The guy also used some antisemitic dogwhistles in a conversation with me that made my skin crawl.

How am I supposed to respond to that?

I hate that this is something I have to think about and worry about. I hate that I am not safe to wear a Magen David around my neck in public in queer spaces. I hate that I have to sit there and take it as they use "Zionist" like a swear word and call for the complete and total destruction of the only place that I have ever felt safe to be a Jew.

I hate that they want us to forever remain a diaspora nation, because there is no world in which they feel we have any right to a homeland.

We were kicked out "too long ago" to ask for any kind of land back. And we're monsters if we have any desire to create a home for ourselves.

I hate that I am safer being openly trans than I am being openly Jewish in this city.

I hate that being queer necessarily means I have to hide an essential part of my identity, lest I lose any sense of community that I have.

I hate that I had to craft a message that skirted around the words "You hate Jews, and I am a Jew". I hate that I had to actually write the words "I felt unsafe in the environment that you created".

Anyone else find it so damn hard to find a date as a non passing transbian who's part of their local Jewish community? Like I'm basically forced to date only Jews and though that's what I'd prefer it's really hard to be stuck like that when Jews are such a tiny part of the dating market. I even had one girl call the Jewish people "invaders". That girl literally liked my profile and went out of her way to tell me that. I finish my conversion on November 12th, which I'm super excited for, but being Jewish comes with a lot of bigotry being directed at you. I mean I guess it's better to be alone than to be with someone who is incompatible, but it sucks to be so lonely. I'm out and proud that I'm a Zionist and soon to be Jew, but it's hard when you're not getting almost no likes and literally zero dates. The last and only relationship I've ever had was when I was 19 (I'm 24 now), and that was before I came out as a trans woman in 2022. Sometimes I feel like compromising on my values just so I'm not so alone. I'm also disabled, having suffered multiple brain injuries, and living with retinopathy of prematurity, along with all the mental health consequences that come with my accidents like severe depression, anxiety, suicidal idealization and PTSD, so all of that makes dating at least twice as hard. I'm a minority, within a minority, within yet another minority, and it makes finding anyone fucking impossible. Really, the only socialization I get is when I go to my shul twice a week. I'm really happy there, but I just feel like I want more than that, but it's hard when I'm in such a car dependent area and don't drive (if you're wondering I'm in the Lehigh Valley in eastern Pennsylvania). I'd like to get more involved with my local queer groups, but I'm worried about getting hated on for being a Jewish aligned Zionist. Outside of my shul I have no friends, and I just feel really lonely. I could really use some advice. I'm tired of feeling so isolated.

On this thread - and this thread only - Rule 5 (We're not your Shadchan/Matchmaker) is suspended!

Feel free to introduce yourself here, make an old-school "seeking love match" post, or, respond to others who've posted.

Include the information you think is most relevant about yourself and the kind of person you're looking for, but be sure to phrase it positively and respectfully. (Rude posts will still be removed.)

Great things to include:

• Your orientation/what you're seeking
• Judaic affiliation, if any
• Hobbies
• What you're looking for (romance, tennis partners, Shabbat dinner guests, board game partners)
• Your age / preferred age range

If you're open to DMs/private messages, say so - but know that folks may message you privately anyway.

​

Use your common sense when posting: Don't share any real-life identifying info on the thread (No names, no addresses). Definitely share general geographic info, age/age range, and other useful info. Remember, though, the internet is a scary place and lots of folks aren't who they say they are - be smart before you decide to exchange anything real!

(Also, we can only keep things civil/responsible on this thread. If you decide to take the conversation elsewhere, regular Reddit rules apply, but we can't get involved.)

I’m trying to figure out my gender identity for awhile now, but I’m also getting curious about religion as well. But I’m seemingly struggling to see how both can mix? (I’ve been reading the Torah.)

I mean in no disrespect I just am a confused enby/tg I’ll delete the post if need be.

The new ep of Agatha all along shows Billy a queer man in a flash back having a bar mitzvah. It brought me queer joy to LGBTQ Jewish representation because I feel like I rarely see it. Also it was filmed at my synagogue which I find super cool!

If you've seen the show Nobody Wants This, you will get the reference -- I am considering adding this design to my store but I am not sure if it is the right direction. I'd love your feedback and thoughts.

This is a repost from a deleted post last night, someone suggested I watermark the images just in case it's popular and someone chooses to use the graphics without permission.

So... cute idea, or missing the mark?

https://preview.redd.it/fer15dvf36vd1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=8dac76afc422e735349486f171ebb041e1bcac57

https://preview.redd.it/t9ncbtvf36vd1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=f7112a0f5db390438e3359afb038e9e53a7e4bcb

https://preview.redd.it/rd7y8tvf36vd1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=1dff488e583fca59e991c8511dd5369a0fc77fb5

It's helpful when they plaster their dating profiles with antisemitic crap, but I met someone who seemed normal. We'd been dating for a few months, and a weird red flag came up (totally not having to do with Judaism or Israel), and I ended things in a nice, civil, no one is to blame sort of way, and she seemed good with that. Then she sent me a message (I won't share the details because it's identifying) that was vague enough so she could claim ignorance but was a way to say fuck you to me for being Jewish. I don't have plans to jump into the dating world any time soon, but I think I'm done with non-Jews. I don't think I could feel safe with them again.

Does anyone have Siddur Sha’ar Zahav handy? I was trying to find the blessing on a new relationship since I just got to clarify relationship terms with my new partner!

I a Cisgender female was getting the day started today in Yom Kippur when my uncle grabbed coffee and I innocently asked if that was ok to do and he asked me that if I was taking the religion seriously I said yes and he told me that I have to give up being a lesbian in order to take the Lord seriously that I don't have to marry a man but I cannot form a romantic relationship with a woman ever again. I was flabbergasted with his words and I felt disrespected too I may not be the most religious person but I am trying to form a relationship with Hashem and I'm aware that I can't change this part I have tried so many times but I can't ,what advice can you give me? I want a good connection with the Lord but I also don't want to live a lie

So, I'm 1) polyamorous, 2) lesbian, and 3) in Europe, which means that trying to meet people is a bit nuts right now. There is an active, close-knit Jewish community in my town which I'm very grateful for and have been making friends of all ages through... but I feel like I'm still missing someone. So I’ve given two Jewish-focused things a try recently.

Yente Over the Rainbow:

Their match survey thing is super thorough! You can give the names of people you don't want to match with because they're exes/have other bad history/are your friends. They DO have explicitly polyamorous/non-exclusive options.

You get matches twice a week and I've put in my profile the day of the week I'll check matches and messages. It's honestly a relief not to have the endless swiping. I've noticed with other apps that if you ditch them for a couple of weeks they start showing people you might actually be interested in again (to convince you that the app is worthwhile) but if you come back every day / every few days they show you more incompatible people (to waste your time so they can show you more ads). Jewish shidduch is so underappreciated.

I've seen people here complaining about YotR - someone from the US complaining that they kept getting matched with people from central Europe which is honestly why I decided to try it, lol - but maybe with a critical mass of people it would be better?

MeetJew:

I saw this one recommended here and did their little survey thing a little while ago. They haven't sent me any matches yet but I also feel like I'm a fairly specific sort of person. Survey was pretty thorough but they don't have explicitly polyamorous/non-exclusive options so I put it in the blurb a potential match would see so we're all aboveboard. Some good options for background that are inclusive of people in giyur, pretty nonbinary inclusive.

I know there are like, half a dozen European Jews total, of whom there are like three gays (barely exaggerating), so it's a relief to find things that don't assume I'm in the US or Israel. What have your experiences been like?

Hi all,

I'm from a very small Jewish community and I'm modern orthodox. In my community it very rare to see a woman wearing a tichel.

I brought it up (the idea of wanting to start wearing a tichel) to my Rabbi and he said that i should reach out to some gay Jewish orgs to help us both understand if I need to wear a tichel or not. My Rabbi was unsure because I am married to a AFAB person.

If y'all have any advice on who I can reach out to, or have any ideas of your own I would love to hear it!

Thanks so much!

well, i've planned on starting giyur for a few years now and now, when i'm moving in a new city, i'll be able to do that. the problem is, i live in homotransphobic country, i'm trans and gay, and i surely am terribly afraid of rejection by a local reformist rabbi. he's a man in his 50s, has a scolding professor vibe (which isn't helping!) and, again, we live in a terribly -phobic country with laws equating queer community with extremists.

i'm not sure what to do, i don't want to lie about my relationship with a man, i don't want to lie why i can't get circumcision, but i feel that i'll be looked upon, afraid of rejection.

I (30sM) grew up orthodox, but now have a non-Jewish bf. I have fallen out of love with Judaism because of my circumstances and don’t do much of the practice. I still love the people and family. YK stresses me out because everyone asks what I’m doing and where I’m going. I don’t want to participate but also don’t really feel great doing anything else. Anyways, dropping this here to see if there are mutual feelings.

Anyone looking for friends in nyc and wanna commiserate lol

So…I’m 43, gay and single. I live with my mother who is 83 and I take care of her. Moved back to Long Island to take care of her in 2018…Anyways I was kind of excited this year about the holidays.

My mother rejoined our old shul two years ago, and this year there were a ton of people from high school and from when I was a kid visiting their families and came to services….Oh are you with anyone? No kids? And I just stand there embarrassed with my mother hanging on me. THE WORST.

I felt so uncomfortable and left out not having a partner and family of my own…I got all sorts of upset seeing all the kids running around on the bimah, and not able to see my own kids up there with the others. Yes…I’m blessed to have my mother till her final years but…I’m not getting any younger and I feel like “whelp…this is it.”

I’ve asked a cantor, a lesbian rabbi, my physician, friends, dating apps, speed dating, volunteering, I’ve tried everything. Just can’t seem to meet my beshert. Between running a business and taking care of my mother, I’m too tired to trek into Manhattan for events. I’m doing all the right things but…no luck.

This sounds so desperate hahahahaha! Sorry just needed to vent. G'mar chatimah tovah…time to eat some dry brisket. 🤪

Hi

I don’t know why but I don’t feel like the word “queer” fits me (questioning bi spectrum and arosprec guy). Is that something others feel too? Like I understand that I am queer but I strangle to think of myself as queer if that makes sense??? Is this normal? Maybe it has to do with my impostor syndrome or something else but I just don’t feel like the word “queer” fits me.