I'll try to keep this short and sweet lol.

I'm the eldest of 3 girls in my bio family. We were all apprehended, me and 2nd-born were adopted very young to separate families. Youngest sister still lives with my nutty mother who I find difficult to talk to because she's anti-vaccine and anti-medicine essentially lol. I haven't spoken to my sisters for over 10 years thanks to CAS so I can't ask my family.

Any who, I have FAS and I'm pretty sure both my sisters have it. My middle sister is legally blind, and I'm being treated for glaucoma at age 24. Youngest sister my mom doesn't take to the doctor, but she has vision problems too.

When I saw my glaucoma specialist he of course asks if it runs in the family, which I of course couldn't answer but I thought maybe FAS could be a culprit?

My bio mom as far as I know only needs reading glasses. I haven't heard of anyone else in the family having serious eye issues. But can FAS cause this??

Edit: we all have different bio dad's and my mom lies if I ask about my bio dad

Edit#2 (lol): I did ask the specialist if it could be FAS and he sent me for an MRI (thankfully he was also thinking). My diagnosis isn't 100% for sure glaucoma but he's treating it as glaucoma. Also I just Googled it and I suppose vision problems are common. So now I'm curious if anyone else Also has vision problems?

Join these two communities to learn more about life with FASD and how best to support individuals impacted by FASD.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61564853769496

https://www.instagram.com/jason_pinkerton_coaching/

Hello! Just joined the group.

My question for the caregivers and parents, is WHEN and HOW did you tell your child they had FASD?

And for folks with FASD, WHEN and HOW would you have wanted to be told you had FASD?

Telling this to an 8 year old vs 17 vs adult would be different, so I'm very interested as well in in age-appropriate communication.

I was diagnosed with partial FAS at a very young age after being apprehended from my bio mom. At the time in early 1999 she admitted to having 7 beers while pregnant with me. It's hard to say for sure, but I think as a 1yo I had the facial features but have since grown out of them.

My foster parents (who took custody of me) have recently stated they don't think I have FAS because another child they fostered has also been diagnosed with FAS and has a much more severe case I guess with the textbook behavioral issues.

Problem is, I never had behavioral issues but I do tend to "fly off the handle" over small little things. As a kid I'd be inconsolable after forgetting something at school, or become very frustrated very quickly and easily. As an adult I tend to get unreasonably angry at tiny things and am still easily frustrated.

I've read as much as I can about FAS - some things apply and some things don't. Which is why I'm not sure if it's a misdiagnosis. Any thoughts?

Hello, I've been reading about it and recently saw a photo of her as a child and her facial features seem similar to what i've seen about fasd on children, also she shares some of the behavioral symptoms and her parents are heavy drinkers so maybe there's a chance. She obviously hasn't thought about it and she doesn't have the highest self-steem about her looks, so I wouldn't like to affect her self-steem or make her self-conscious about it, do you have any tip about how to adress the situation? Becausa maybe it would help her to know this. Thanks in advance.

31 year old female with FASD. I've been reading average life expectancy FASD is between ages; 32 - 37. Is this actually factual?

I’m gonna keep this short and sweet… My bio mother who I have not seen since I was a couple months old (I was placed in another relatives care by cps) committed suicide recently. She drank heavily while pregnant with me and did drugs/pills, I’m honestly lucky how good I have it (cognitively). I still have severe issues and can’t function without medication, and it all stems from my mom’s careless choices. I have no feelings towards her and couldn’t care less about her. When I heard she ended her life, I honestly felt relieved and had a sense of peace. At the same time, I feel like a piece of me is missing because she gave life to me. The celebration of life is coming up and I don’t know if I should attend or not, I’m not sad about it or have any emotional attachment to her, I just don’t want to feel regret later in life. I really don’t want to see her side of the family either.. I’d love any advice and or support. Thank you.

So back in 1988 my biological mother did a lot of bad things due to being in poverty. Not entirely her fault she was married in Turkey and brought to the United States and ditched.

Well Ive been struggling with anxiety and depression issues with employment, and hating how I feel like an alien.

I am realizing that the autism and ADHD might be all linked to my damaged brain. What sucks I have a 128 IQ but my processing and short term memory is terrible. I guess I don't know even where to start to start recovering and learning to live and maybe find some measure of thriving with this. I am struggling right now.

Hi.

I have been involved with a guy with FASD for a couple of months now. The chemistry we have is crazy, we can talk about anything. The sex is out of this world. We have a lot of fun together.

Sounds amazing right? But the thing I struggle with is his push and pull. The love bombing, and the next day he is very clear about his intentions with us/me. He doesn’t want to put a label on us. He wants freedom, to talk to, to fuck with whoever he wants. And I mean I get it, that can be a preference. He is honest about it, so fair enough. But he knows I’m doing my best to navigate this rollercoaster. Im also a very open person, I like sex I like the attention etc. So in a way I’m pleased with having the ability to explore this.

What bothers me tho, he keeps pushing and pulling. One day I feel like we got very deep and close. The next day he goes on and on about how I’m nothing for him. That he wouldn’t even be sad if I decided to stop this thing we have. Yesterday he came over, like he does every day (I don’t even ask him this, he wants to himself). He started with the rant about not wanting anything, he just loves being with me, and the sex is great. I told him I get it, we talked about this before. But I also told him he shows different things. Tells me he loves me, wants to see me every day etc. So that makes me confused. He understood but told me Im part of his routine. Well, auch. He noticed I was getting sad and started to pull back. Told me it is selfish to wanting someone all for yourself. Like I said, I get that. And I told him that. There is no relationship I have had where i didn’t cheat. So yes, I get that. After he left, he texted me on 2 platforms. Telling me; “so much, you know that right?”

But why would he be so hard on me one day, and love bombing me the next? Why would someone do that? He tells me he can’t bond with someone like I can. Because he just doesn’t have that part in his brain(?). Maybe this shit is totally unrelated to FASD. I guess the sex-crazy shit is part of it. (He goes to a lot of sex parties and has had hundreds of woman).

Thanks for reading. Is there someone who recognizes this?

For context, I’m a recently turned 25 woman who was diagnosed with FASD when I was around the age of 6. I am adopted and have lived my 25 years of life alongside my family, a very blessed and amazing family. Furthermore, I am what most would consider high functioning and I’ve come a long way from where I once was. But that’s not why I’m posting here today.

For a while now I’ve been dealing with debilitating anxiety when it comes to my own self worth and self image. More so when it comes to what my family thinks about me, mainly boiling down my my brothers and a “friend” I have since cut off due to feeling like all I did was annoy him. I’m not someone who typically likes to seek out advice online, but it’s something I feel I must do in order to gain more insight into why I could be coming off as annoying.

Even though I don’t mean too, it sometimes feels like my tendency to be passionate about the things I like can be a bit much for others. As well as my tendency to analyze things until I’ve come up with a satisfactory enough solution. Lately, I’ve been analyzing all the things that went wrong in both the past and present. One thing that has stuck with me happened back when I was still a teenager, and it had been after I had been previously reamed out by my eldest brother for “bringing in demonic entities onto his property.”

Our family is very Christian and I guess he felt threatened that I was listening to CreepyPastas and accused me of demonizing his property that he fought so hard to protect. Of course I thought this was stupid and told him that I was listening to my stories with my earphones plugged in and that I knew better than to allow my nieces to listen in on these stories. (They get nightmares very easily and I knew better than to expose them to something that could scare them)

He’d asked me to stop listening to them and I said I would, but I didn’t listen and ended up listening to them when I was going to bed. Well…I didn’t realize back then that you could go into your wifi settings and view the history and I guess that’s what he did and oh boy…did he let me have it. Being told that I was letting demons onto his property really hurt, but as if that wasn’t enough, I was forced to sit down and pray. Putting it bluntly: I was absolutely humiliated.

During my forced prayer session, I began to nervously write down/trace things with my fingers. I forgot what I was looking at, but it was some cursive on a box I saw somewhere in the room and I fidget and squirm when I’m in any uncomfortable situation. I was only doing this to try and calm myself down and that freaked him out even more and he asked me very gruffly what I was writing, and in my panic I forgot what I was focusing on and told him that it was just a name from a box I was looking at.

That wasn’t helping my case and he just made me pray harder, addressing a demon that probably wasn’t there…just a scared girl who didn’t wanna upset his wife and kids anymore than I already had. So of course, after this I was sent out to the camper trailer I was staying in while mom and dad were away and cried myself to sleep, feeling like I somehow deserved this horrible treatment because I’d either upset God and this was my way of atoning for what I did, or that I deserved it for not listening to my brother. Either way, the rest of the stay was just me being afraid of my brother and desperately waiting for mom and dad to come back and take me away from this very uncomfortable, tense, situation.

Whenever I feel like I’ve done something to hurt or upset people, I naturally pull back into my shell and avoid them altogether and I guess he didn’t like that I wasn’t being “a part of things.” Funny he’d say that when he’d been the one to hurt me so deeply and not ever apologize for it. (Truthfully I feel like I’m still waiting on it but I know I’ll never get it…) So he comes into my camper while I’m reading a book and proceeds to ask me a question that instantly gets my blood pumping. “You use your FASD as a crutch, don’t you?” Mind you, this is a 30 something year old man talking to an 18-19 year old, and of course I was flabbergasted that he even had the nerve to ask me this.

He then goes on to also say stuff like, “I know insert other brothers name is your favourite.” And you know what? Yes he is, because at least he doesn’t yell and feel the need to treat me like a child when addressing me. And unlike you…I don’t fear him. For specification purposes, I’ll be calling my oldest brother Bill and my second oldest brother, Brandon. Unlike Bill who got married and moved out by the time I had been adopted into the family, Brandon was still living with us and actually got the chance to grow up with me and understand why I did things differently than others.

Which would explain why he’s as patient with me as he is, and it’s something I very much appreciate. Moving on, there have been just…numerous instances where other people within my family have treated me like I’m still that 16 year old child, feeling a need to address me like one and it’s gotten to a point where I’ve become even more self conscious of what I do around these people. I know sometimes I might not act “my age” due to how I handle and process situations and I feel ashamed for it. I’m very empathetic and whenever I’ve tried asking or discussing things with Bill…he shuts it down and tells me that he doesn’t want to involve himself with my “drama.”

When all want to do is gain an understanding of how I can avoid pissing him off or even trying to understand why he is the way that he is. Which from my understanding: is an easily angered man who has said some really vile shit, and his only excuse is, “I can’t help who my father is.” Which I think is a very terrible excuse to lean on in my opinion, as if that justifies the way he’s treated me my entire life.

I’ve got many more incidents I can think of, like the one time he got really close to my face and grit his teeth at a 12 year old me because I was “being rude to our dad.” When really, we were teasing each other and I off handedly said: “Okay old man.” And for some reason, Bill felt the need to threaten to punch me because that’s what he wanted to do to people who disrespected dad. Another incident was when I was playfully teasing his wife and said something sarcastically, and again, I didn’t mean any harm by it and thought I could joke with her…but much to my chagrin I guess after she left, she went to Bill and told him what I had said to her.

Again, I was probably around 16-17? And suddenly he’s storming up to me and gets in my face again and gets really mean because I had insulted his precious little wife’s feelings. Which…I didn’t even realize I had and was once again, blind sided and confused by this sudden rage. It keeps going on and on, but it’s to a point where all I feel is bitterness inside of me when I think of my own brother. I’ve tried telling him that I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him, and he turns it on me and says he feels the same way because he feels like I get too offended or hurt.

Yes I do, because you say things that hurt me. And through the years I don’t, if ever reach out to talk or connect with him. It feels like an accident waiting to happen and I just…don’t wanna annoy him anymore than I already have. So…I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like whenever I’m too overly enthusiastic about things, I get weird looks or I’m brushed off. Typing all this down has made me feel that bitterness again so I’ll quit before it ruins my sleep any further…

There’s more I could write but…that’s all for now. Thoughts?

a week ago i was talking with my grandma and she mentioned that my mom drank when she was pregnant with me, i knew that she was an alchoholic and unfortunately passed when i was 7. when i heard this i thought nothing of it, than an hour ago i saw something on the topic of fasd, and relised that i had a lot of symptoms, cognative disabilites (dyslexia and dyscalculia) short attention span ( i don't even play games or guitar anymore i just sit down and listen to music or watch videos because there faster to enjoy) bad social skills and trouble organizing. apparently being easily influenced and self care are symptoms as well. im also quite skinny even though i eat plenty of food im 59kg at 5'10

there is things like managing money and behavior that i am the opposite of, i dont spend money without researching what im buying, i hate to feel like Ive made someone sad or angry causing me to be a bit of a push over but than when i do make someone mad or sad at me i wont do anything about it because im to socially anxious.

I'm a 32 year old woman with diagnosed cognitive impairments and mental health issues who has "stumped" doctors and psychs since childhood. At 32 I have a diagnosis of ASD level 2, ADHD, OCD, CTPSD, and something called "cognitive communication deficit" and had an ODD diagnosis as a kid, but for the most part the professionals I've seen have been "stumped" by me as they said the symptoms I present with seem like more than just those conditions alone. The possibility of FASD was brought up when I was in my mid-20s. I do look "off" (have been outright told as much) and I have a smooth philtrum but nothing has been conclusive enough to warrant a diagnosis of FASD and also both of my parents swear my mother never had ANY drinks when she was pregnant with me. She's lied about a lot of things that I found out later on so I don't entirely trust her.

In 2022 I had a brain scan done, referred by primary care provider, and it came back with some pretty glaring abnormalities but the doctor said he did not feel the need to refer me to a neurologist. The scan is here with the "problem areas" circled (I have posted this on a different sub before, but this is my alt). My doctor did not feel the need to refer me to a neurologist despite the abnormalities. Should I get a second opinion or am I just being paranoid?

Hello, I’m a 17 year old girl and I was adopted at 3 years old. My birth parents were drug users and alcholics, my mum was using and drinking while pregnant with me. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, emotional dysregulation, sleep problems, adverse childhood events, past history of neglect, coordination difficulties and social communication disorder (SCD).

When I was around 10 I was assessed for autism. I have always known I am different, I’ve always hated myself, I compare myself to others. When I found out I didn’t meet the criteria, I was quite surprised. About a year or 2 later, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which I am on medication for.

Although autism and ADHD can be similar, I feel like many of my problems might not be linked to ADHD, and I’ve been thinking about how my early childhood before I was adopted could play into this.

For example I have a LOT of sensory issues, we have papers and papers listing them all. I don’t do well in a school environment, I can become uncomfortably hyper, extreme uncontrollable anger, I often get brain fog, I forget peoples names, how to write a certain letter or number, etc.

I have been looking into FASD, but something I noticed is that I don’t have any unusual facial features, for example I have full lips, I don’t have a smooth philtrum, I match none of the facial features for FASD (which I know is a spectrum and is different for everybody)

My question is, does any of this sound like FASD? does it sound more to do with my ADHD and SCD? Thank you for reading ❤️

Hi all, I (29f) have FASD and have found that I have a complete distain tor drugs and alcohol. I’ve read that we should be more “susceptible” to addiction or addictive substances like the above, but it seems I have gone the complete opposite way.

Now my biological family were violent alcoholics and I was born in almost 90% alcohol (as per social services and apparently the doctor that delivered me said “does anyone have a straw because you could drink this, it’s almost straight alcohol”) but my adoptive family are the complete opposite. They never drank and if they did it was a glass of wine with dinner every so often, I don’t think I have ever seen my parents drunk more than twice, so I suppose my environment growing up had something to do with it.

However, my Fiance likes to drink and because I don’t drink I don’t understand the attraction and I have such a visceral reaction to him being drunk, it makes my blood boil and I become irrationally angry, I think it’s due to the knock on effect it has after (hangover/moaning about feeling like shit and ruining pre made plans). I don’t know if this is just a me thing or if anyone else has such a distain for both drugs and alcohol?

So, I spent this past year since finding out I had FASD keeping it to myself. It has a level of shame with it, like I'm less of a person because of this. I'm in therapy, and I'm working through some things, but I just want to hear from other how you go about telling people that you have this. My memory is absolute trash now, and I find myself saying things I don't mean to, and I just want to let people know that "Hey! This is what's wrong with me!" but I feel like people are going to look down on me? My therapist says that keeping it to myself makes it heavier for me. I would just like to hear from some people how you go about telling people.

So I posted in one of the Christian subs on reddit to ask if I had a point about not forgiving my birth mom until my adoptive mom gives me freedom since my disability (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) was caused by my birth mom. Then somebody commented and said to shut up, that I'm just angry I can't do whatever I want (as if I'm an entitled teenager who thinks they're grown, when I am literally an adult). Of course, I'm gonna be angry that I can't do whatever I want like other adults my age. And then people don't seem to understand the correlation between me not forgiving my birth mom for my adoptive mom controlling me when its my adoptive mom that treats me like a kid and controls me. They don't understand my adoptive mom treats me like a kid for my disability WHICH MY BIRTH MOM CAUSED.

I was hoping people here would understand my anger towards my birth mom (angry that I can't live a normal adult life), even though it's my adoptive mom that treats me like a kid.

I apologize if this post violates any rules. I just needed to post about this here because I thought some people would understand why I'm angry and why I direct my anger towards my birth mom instead of my adoptive mom. 💔

I have fetal alcohol spectrum disorder and my adoptive mom is super overprotective and paranoid. Long post ahead.

So at this point, I refuse to forgive my birth mom until my adoptive mom lets me live a normal adult life. My adoptive mom would want me to forgive her (she doesn't know about my refusal to forgive just yet) because she's very religious and believes I'll go to hell if I don't forgive (despite thinking I'm too incompetent to have sex or vote). So anyway, she wants me to forgive my birth mom for religious or salvation reasons while she continues treating me like a kid because of my birth mom just because treating me like a kid is "justified" since I'm officially diagnosed with a mental disability (WHICH MY BIRTH MOM CAUSED BY THE WAY). I feel like it is a slap in my face for her to expect me to forgive somebody while she continues treating me like like a kid and sheltering me because of that somebody ("justified" or not, is it still a slap in my face).

I feel like there's only two FAIR options. 1) Either she lets me live a normal adult life with all the risks that come with it and I forgive my birth mom because then I'd have no reason or motive to continue holding a grudge or 2) continue treating me like a kid if it's absolutely in my best interests but let me continue holding a grudge and go on not forgiving my birth mom.

I feel like expecting me to forgive my birth mom while I continue being treated like a kid is unfair and a slap in my face, no matter how "justified" it is, especially considering the only reason it's even considered "justified" by some people is because of my birth mom in the first place.

Keep in my mind, I didn't say I wouldn't forgive my birth mom or that I would never forgive my birth mom. I just can't forgive her as long as I'm not allowed to live a normal adult life because of her. I don't feel convicted or compelled to forgive my birth mom as long as I'm still being treated like a kid. I don't feel comfortable forgiving my birth mom as long as I'm still being treated like a kid.

I know what my adoptive mom would say about living a normal adult life: "that's not an option". Well, if living a normal adult life isn't an option "because something bad may happen to me", then forgiving my birth mom won't be an option.

Another thing, I feel like not forgiving my birth mom is my way of coping with not being able to live a normal adult life. I feel like if I forgave my birth mom while I'm still being treated like a kid, I'd be letting my birth mom off the hook and I also feel like I'd be letting my adoptive mom have her cake and eat it too since she wants me to forgive my birth mom for something that she continues to do because of my birth mom. I don't see how she doesn't see what a slap in my face that is but she doesn't just because "the world is evil" and "something bad may happen to me" and "I'm a vulnerable person who may be taken advantage of". Nevermind those concerns – however valid they may be – IS BECAUSE OF MY BIRTH MOM. If those concerns continue, then the grudge against my birth mom will continue.

To clarify, I understand where my adoptive mom is coming from. Yes, I may be considered vulnerable or naive. Yes, my adoptive mom loves me and cares about me and has my best interests at heart (all of which I appreciate, I really do). Yes, the world is a dangerous place and there are bad people in the world. Yes, I'm neurodivergent/disabled. But NONE OF THAT takes away the fact that MY BIRTH MOM MADE THE WAY I AM AND IS TO BLAME for my adoptive mom's valid concerns. And I CAN NOT FORGIVE MY BIRTH MOM FOR SOMETHING THAT CONTINUES BECAUSE OF HER (how "justified" something is is not relevant to me, especially when she's the reason it's "justified" in the first place).

One last thing, I am fully aware that the Bible teaches that God won't forgive you if you don't forgive. But think about it. When we ask God to forgive us – and when we ask another person to forgive us – we are asking for forgiveness for something that we at least try not to continue doing. When we forgive somebody, we're forgiving somebody with the understanding that they won't make the same mistake again or that they'll at least try not to. So theres no comparison here. And no, it ain't "different" just because something is "justified". It's wrong to expect somebody to forgive somebody for something that is still continuing (justified or not). It's like you're taking advantage of the whole forgiveness thing. My interpretation or definition of forgiveness is that when you ask for forgiveness, you at least try to make the same mistake again or you change for the better. I'm applying that logic here and something being "justified" isn't an exception.

"Your adoptive mom has a point. Something could happen to you because there are bad people in the world".

Fine, I totally understand that. But then I just won't forgive my birth mom because she's the reason why I need to be protected which is a continuing thing.

I posted this because I just wanted to know if I have a point about not forgiving my birth mom for being the reason why I can't live a normal adult life as long as I continue to not be able to live a normal adult life, no matter how "justified" it is, since she made me the way I am. And would God understand since if you really think about it, when we ask Him to forgive us, we're asking Him to forgive us for something that we at least try not to continue doing. So it really isn't the same thing.

A lot of people argue I should forgive my birth mom because my adoptive mom's actions and concerns is "justified" but think about it, it's only "justified" BECAUSE OF MY BIRTH MOM.

So if you read thus far, thank you! Please give me your thoughts.

hi so i usually wouldnt be here, but I am a very concerned 14 year old who just went down the fasd rabbit hole, i woke my mum up to ask her about it and a week before she found out she was pregnant with me, was her bday party (few sips of wine to taste with champagne) is that enough to cause fasd?! (side note: I have anxiety, depression and adhd along with a thin upper lip and small eyes, I am currently having a mental breakdown at one in the morning trying to come to terms witht he fact after just doing this for potentially having asd)

Feeling regretful

Hello, so i have been struggling recently and blaming myself for my childs development because i didnt know that i was pregnant for two months and drank about 5 times in that time period. Not heavy but a glass or two of wine. i was having irregular periods and had a iud that failed until i went to the doctor for a kidney stone and they did a blood test showing i was pregnant. I know my daughter has adhd but every day when she struggles in school i blame myself and i am so embarrassed to admit it to anyone. She is 8 and struggles with reading but understands math. Her doctor hasnt said anything to me about fasd and my mom is a nurse and hasnt mentioned fasd as a concern. I am starting to see a therapist bc my daughters struggles have really started to take a toll on me. Because she struggles with schools she tends to relate to smaller kids and has a few super close friends in her grade. We give her adderall to help with her adhd but i am worried that her problems go beyond adhd. My husband keeps telling me that i am crazy and a dr would have caught on by now to the issue. I am just feeling super lost.

Concerned with the possibility my daughter has FAS. At birth and as a toddler she had very distinct epicanthal folds. She is now 13 and while they are definitely less distinct, they are still there. She does have a thin upper lip but so does her dad so not sure if it’s just genetic. I never even thought twice about these things until recently learning they can be a sign. Now as I’m researching the signs I think her ears may even look a little weird. I drank rather heavily in the weeks prior to my missed period and have read conflicting info on this time frame causing facial deformities. Is it possible to have FAS with no behavioral/developmental issues? I’m in a panic.

For about 6 months I've been letting my friend, (previously one of my nextdoor neighbours) live in my shed/garage. ...After our parasitic landlord evicted them for no reason, just to leave the house empty despite record housing shortages (We are in Perth, WA, Australia.)

Originally this was on the condition that he stays sober and gets a job. This hasn't happened, however I couldn't bring myself to kick him out, as he has noone else and nowhere to go and he seems vulnerable.

It's become increasingly clear to me, that he needs assistance to manage most areas of his life. He isn't dumb though, and is talented at a bunch of things, and under his trauma I can tell he really cares about people, even though he can't really trust anyone.

Things like accessing healthcare, attending appointments, filling out a form, remembering rules, understanding basic consequences etc he doesn't seem able to do, even though it seems like he is trying to.

He really struggles, and doesn't seem to be able to look after himself. He has gotten into multiple super dangerous and somewhat illegal situations and lost friendships over his actions. Over his life he has accumulated train fines over $20,000, and can't figure how to address the issue.

At first I did what I could, and managed to link him in with some support services, but these were either unavailable, ineffective, short-lived or only existed on paper.

Eventually I burnt out and couldn't do any more and now I feel really stuck with it all. I haven't really had any support despite begging his other friends to help him, and the stress has taken a toll on my mental health. I have a blend of Audhd/pmdd/cptsd which I can barely manage at the best of times lol.

At first I thought his struggles were due to his turbulent upbringing, both parents with substance abuse and mental health, very disrupted education, his brothers are either dead or incarcerated.

Originally I thought if he just had a bit of time to sort himself out and save up, he would be able to get a job and move out within a month or so...

However now I think FASD could be the reason. His mother has substance addiction and did not plan her pregnancies, and was being abused by their father.

I have been trying to figure out what to do next, but the system seems really complicated and confusing.

I'm going to take him to the doctor next week, and also maybe call centrelink to see if I can get him a social worker.

I know theres only so much I can do before I crack again, so I'm trying to pass the role of supporting him on, but idk if it's going to be possible.

Throwaway since people in my life have my other account. Like the title says, I (27f) need help coping with it but find having FASD can be difficult when I become very emotional. Feels like no one, not even my husband truly gets me. I'm willing to try anything for coping to try and prevent a meltdown.

Hopefully I haven't made a rubbish post here. I avoid making new posts on Reddit generally.

I have a provisional diagnosis of FASD but NHS wouldn't assess me for one sole reason (stated in the letter): because I'm severely visually impaired. But my friends, psych, therapist, GP, etc etc all are like - yeah you have it and my mother's two friends (I'm estranged from mother) said my mother binge drank during pregnancy and would secretly drink at home when my dad was away on business.

I have tried Facebook, Twitter, live journal, Instagram etc etc. I live alone and I am mostly left to my own devices. The local police know me well for my excited delirium episodes and due to my mother's Munchausens by proxy (yes had that too) and severe traumatic experiences in every system that's supposed to 'help' me, I'm left to my own devices because I'm either banned from services or i refuse them, just leave me alone please is what my brain thinks.

Anyway I was ordered by law enforcement to have my live journal deleted and I'm banned for life there 🤦🏽

Instagram and Facebook I got hated so bad it leaked into my real life and I got doxxed with my national insurance number and other stuff and my bank account got interestingly emptied soon after that (thankfully the bank just gave me my pitiful benefits money total bank account money back on their insurance idk I don't set anything life admin related up myself, my friend does it for me, I don't know how). Facebook especially the hate was extreme. I was originally diagnosed with autism but it was found to be incorrect and FASD explains it much better but NHS still have autistic disorder on the system. I was in autism communities on Facebook and I got DESTROYED. I got f-ed around and messed about and used.

I didn't have social media for 6 months and then tried Twitter 😂 funnily enough I don't get hate on twitter, I actually wonder where tf all the trolls are because I'm not getting trolled. But then I got shadow banned a lot and tbh most people just avoid me there.

I did make some friends I still have on Facebook and Twitter. That's why I kept trying. The only way I know how to make friends is online. I don't have in real life community contacts except I go to a mental health charity social drop in which is thankfully unstructured and you just chat to staff and service users and hang out. The staff like me, service users mostly avoid me but a few like me.

So anyone else had a terrible time in social media?

Person with fasd here. Are there any religious parents here whose kids (adult kids or actual kids, or whatever) have fasd? I want to talk to some religious parents who has kids with fasd.

By religious, I mean Christian specifically.

What are some of the biggest challenges you have faced with FASD.

Hello everyone I don't have fasd but I've been talking to this girl with the condition since January she's adopted and we're both on the spectrum lately she's become Distant and told me she only wants to talk Sporadically we used to be close and I still love her Is attachment disorder common In fasd? Sorry I'm new.

I'm having problems *quickly* calming down when panicking or under some pressure, and its affecting me in certain situations (usually, when under pressure from some source of authority to perform in high-ish stakes situations
It also comes up as anger in situations where I'm forced to deal with someone who's treated me poorly in the past(usually this is someone who's also in a position of authority.)

I get that this is a normal response to have, but if calming down takes me a couple minutes and I'm in the middle of a zoom call where I'm trying to give a 5-10 minute presentation or I'm trying to get some information from a relatively antagonistic source, 2 minutes isn't good enough, and its certainly not good enough for any kind of professional setting.

So how do you do this *quickly*?