“You were saved for the last dispensation.”

“You were so valiant in premortal life you got to be born in the church.”

“We are so lucky because we know the WHOLE truth.”

Things like this was always being force fed to me. Kinda sucks that no, I’m not special. In fact, you were just raised in a cult.

Your life will be harder because you were brainwashed and your family is still in the church.

I had a brain tumor as a kid. Of course heavenly daddy “saved me for something special” and I lived because of “tithing and prayer” and not modern medicine.

I was trained to think I was so special. I’m mourning that I’m not.

A different post here made me remember the weirdest Youth Conference I ever went to and I figured people here would understand/have other weird stories. This is from probably 20 years ago.

We were all in the meeting room so they could explain the activity to us. You could play games/activities and earn either “talents” or I forget what the other option was called. For the sake of this we’ll call them “coupons” but that likely wasn’t the word they used. If you earned “coupons”, there were prizes on the stage you could try to win, including a bike. They didn’t explain it well and I remember being confused by the whole thing and couldn’t figure out what the “talents” were for.

I figured it would make sense eventually once the activity started so once we got in the gym I was just standing in a line with friends. Some woman I’ve never met came up to me and told me I needed to come with her. She wouldn’t tell me why and was very vague. I remember feeling a slight amount of “stranger danger” kind of vibe because of how weird she was being. I think at this point I hadn’t even been in the gym long enough that I would have had a chance to win either “talents” or “coupons” even if I had understood the activity explanation.

The woman took me to a room, sat me down, and proceeded to ask me how many “talents” I had and why I didn’t have any and gave me some version of “if your friends jumped off a bridge” kind of thing when I said I was waiting in line with my friends. She never explained why she was asking about any of it and what was going on but it felt like I was somehow in a bit of trouble which was confusing. I was then sent to the chapel to sit in a certain area. I think there were only a couple other kids there at this point and none of us were seated together. The activity was at least an hour so I had to sit in there for quite a while doing nothing while others slowly trickled in.

Once all the kids had been interviewed, the adults came into the room to explain. Turns out, the “talents” were basically you following the word of god (which we weren’t told so by that logic we should have been the same as someone who never was taught the gospel) and where we were seated was our place in the afterlife. The lesson was to not be of the world and to follow the path of god. Unsurprisingly the only kids who made it into the Celestial Kingdom were the kids of the organizers who knew what was actually going on.

It was not well thought out at all and definitely not executed well and was probably one of the things that started the little bit of thinking in the back of my head that the culture and logic at church was off.

My shelf broke in 2021 after a TBM friend told me systemic racism doesn’t exist bc we’re all children of god and she came to this conclusion after scripture/study prayer and felt impressed to share this with me (btw I’m a poc 😑).

Anyway. She said many other offensive things in this same convo and was (is? 🤷🏽‍♀️ majorly maga). At that point I realized we didn’t worship the same god, ended our friendship, and soon after found the ces letter.

I was visiting ut this weekend and had dinner with some longtime friends who are still TBM. They revealed the shelf-breaker has recently left church herself. I was dumbfounded. Shocked.

It’s sad bc a lot of shitty things have happened to her recently. Her TBM parents divorced after her abusive bishop dad’s actions started coming out publicly. She had to take on her sister’s children after they were removed from their home. Sounds like she’s in the angry phase of deconstruction and very outspoken about it. She’s also apparently a raging feminist now.

Part of me is glad she figured it out and left. I’m also genuinely sad about all the things she’s going through. Part of me also feels smug about her leaving and changing her views on lots of stuff. I can hold space for ppl as they evolve and learn but I’m having a hard time not wanting to rub it in her face to some degree (v immature, I’m aware). I have no intention of reaching out anytime soon. Should I reach out once she simmers down?

I'm curious about people's opinions on the thought process by the q15 in building so many temples. Do they really believe that more temples will keep people from leaving? I gotta think the optics of empty temples would do more harm than good with regard to growth and retention. Anyone have insight on this?

We all know the “Official name” that Mr. Russell Nelson wants his members to use right now, but if you became the President Prophet for 5 minutes, and could change the name of the Church to something more truthful and Accurate, what would you rebrand it as?

I’ll go first: The Latter Day Cult of Mormon Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith & More.

Do you have music you hear or love that resonates with your journey out of Mormonism or your deconstruction journey? I heard Taylor Swift’s “But Daddy I love him” and many lyrics hit me right in the feels. Who’s on your list?? A few of mine:

• Unbelievers by Vampire Weekend
• Losing my Religion by R.E.M.
• Dust in the Wind by Kansas
• Hell Together by David Archuleta

Thanks for sharing!

I was at a baby blessing yesterday (niece). The dads parents are divorced and both remarried and sealed to their new partners (all active in the church). The grandma get up and shares her testimony about how happy she is that she is sealed to her grandchildren and will be able to be with them for ever….No dear your Grandchildren are sealed to your ex husband and his new wife. They have no tie to you whatsoever!!!!! Why don’t Mormons get this? They are so hot on “doctrine” and truth but something so crucial to the church’s belief system is glossed over? Felt bad for the poor women.

Pretty much the title. I remember one of my Sunday School teachers telling me that, "If planets like ours that can support life really happened because of random chance, then why isn't there more of it? God had to have created it."

Another was a Seminary teacher who was teaching about the creation of the universe. He brought in a bunch of puzzle pieces and had us throw them on the floor a few times. He asked us how long we thought it would take for the pieces to land perfectly matched together, and when the class told him it would take a really long time, he said, "That's what they teach about how the universe started. But what are the chances that everything formed exactly right and perfect that the universe just started existing?"

It just seemed funny to me. If what is generally believed about the beginning of the universe is true, then feasibly everything had an incredibly long time to have everything happen 'just so'. I don't know if that makes sense, but neither of their arguments really convinced me that it was God who made everything.

I’m finally out and it’s great to see that there’s so many more of you that can see through the bs. My family has been all in the church my whole life and their whole lives. Ive been checked out since I got home from my mission and have been living life carefree and my own way for a few years now. My wife and I showed up to church just enough to get temple recommends and get sealed in the temple to satisfy each of our families but neither of us have been serious about church for a while. We drink and I smoke with my friends sometimes.

Although I’ve thought the church was full of it for a while, I didn’t hold any extremely harsh feelings against the church cause I didn’t let it control how I lived my personal life to a great extent. But somehow I was still sufficiently brainwashed into believing that the only people speaking against the church would be doing it from a place of bitterness and wouldn’t have anything noteworthy to say so I never looked at any literature that pointed out flaws in the church til just recently. I’ve long held the belief (even before my mission) that the church was ran by fallible humans but I figured they meant well so who cares if they’re not perfect. I just never had the urge to dive deeper into their inconsistencies or histories until now…

Man I’m so happy to have been so wrong on so many accounts. I can’t sleep at all this past month since starting to catch up on all the church history and information that they try to keep from you all growing up. Never ever would have thought that I would have cared one bit about church history before now lol! But I don’t feel sadness at all, I’m just immensely curious about the truth behind the organization that shaped my childhood and my whole families’ lives. I’m also lucky to have a wife that see things for what they are too. When I first told her about some of the things I had found and read (CES Letter, Grant Palmer, Dan Vogel, John Dehlin) I didn’t know how she’d react but she was just like, “yeah that’s crazy they’ve tried to hide all this. The church is corrupt.” So glad I didn’t have to fight that fight with her.

So I’m free without any real fights with her which is all that matters. Im sure it’ll be a heartbreaker for my family when they finally put the pieces together that I’m done with the lies but they’ll get over it… maybe 🤷🏼‍♂️😂

What a lovely, fun community of genuine people who love reason and logic. Happy to be here and to have a testimony of the untruthfulness of the “One True Church” :D

My youngest brother adores his nieces and nephews, finding joy in holding them and singing to them, relishing his role as an uncle. He has some mental disabilities from a brain injury sustained about two years ago. Before the injury, he was typically enabled and had stopped going to church early in his teens. Now, his disabilities makes it challenging for him to grasp some concepts like the reasoning behind certain rules and norms. One of them became apparent today.

My TBM sister and brother-in-law recently had a baby and her blessing was today. My BIL invited anyone who was able to participate to join the circle. My youngest brother leaned over to my mom and asked if he was able to go up. She had to explain how it was restricted to priesthood holders. I could tell he was disappointed. He simply wanted to be a part of something meaningful for his niece, yet the church's exclusionary policies prevented him from doing so. It absolutely broke my heart.

My sister and BIL are wonderful people. I don't blame them at all. I blame the church. They talk about bringing families closer together, but they show over and over again that that goal doesn't apply to mixed-faith families.

i left the church when i was 18 bc i knew i was gay & i refused to believe in a hateful god. this was long before the CES letter or the big forums on the Internet made it easier to see the church for the fraud it is. i left because i knew if i stayed I'd kill myself. I'm 35 now and i still have nightmares about being forced to go as a child and about all the horrible things i heard about women and queer people.

my parents and siblings all left when i was 27, but none of them seem to have any residual trauma from their experiences. i have a therapist and I'm gonna start talking to him about this soon, but sometimes it feels very lonely. anyone else out there still having nightmares about it?

I am looking for news links on the growth of the church in Africa

And related problems especially with how the LDS church requires tithing & promises prosperity

The problem with the paragraph below is, I live 2 towns from the church building. Easy 20 minute drive if we had early church. If it was late, we would run into regular churches letting out and it could be 25 -30 minutes. So, the neighborhood the church sits in is too far away for me (the "records still active, but I'm out of there, holder of a temple recommend) to consider it my neighborhood.

"Treat your elders quorum and Relief Society events as neighborhood gatherings rather than Church activities. Get the word out on social media so everyone can feel welcome."

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the two wards had been combined again.

And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

“Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’"

"This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”

I’m now 22 years old and haven’t been to church since I was 18 and covid hit, I believe i’ve only attended 1-2 times since. I no longer believe in the church and I consider myself detached from it and i’m persistent on not returning, however i try my best to remain friendly and keep the peace despite my hard feelings.

well I recently visited my home ward for a relief society event, as i’m still close with my parents (for now, until they realize i’m never coming back to church…) and wanted to attend the activity with my mom. I thought it might be interesting to see how the ward was doing as well. Growing up, my ward used to be the biggest and most lively ward in my stake. We were known for our massive youth group (50+ youth at one point) and tight nit community with large gatherings and ward events. We always had the best ward events, everyone would attend and it was so full of energy and enthusiasm.

Well I returned for the first time in almost 3 years to a ward event and holy shit…. The ward has shrunk SIGNIFICANTLY. The youth group is down to about 20 youth total, so many people i grew up with have become inactive and have left the church, people who were key figures in the ward and would actively keep people coming back week after week because of their enthusiasm and dedication. They are gone. The ward now mainly consists of older couples with kids who are all moved out with just a handful of younger families with children left. At the event almost no one mingled, it so so quiet and awkward that my mom and I left not to long after arriving. My mom said this is the usual occurrence nowdays.

I’ve known about the decline in church numbers for a while now, but now i’ve seen it first hand and it truly shocked me. I would have never expected a ward as lively and close knit as mine to become like this. It truly just goes to show how the church is rapidly losing trust with even its most dedicated and active members. People are tired of their lies and hatred. A good amount of the youth my age are now inactive and no longer attend and good on them.

Has anyone else had an experience like this? I’m at the edge of my seat to see what the church tries to do about this because if i was them, I would be in full on panic mode after seeing the downfall of a ward like my old one.

Do you think the church leaders really know that the membership is shrinking? Or do they have yes men that hide the numbers so as to not be the messenger of bad news? As the church is really a corporation, I think if it like a board of directors….is the sales team really not showing them the decline in customers and just letting them still build more stores (i.e. temples)? Or do they know and they are dumbfounded as to what to do to stop it? Seems clear to me that the church needs to own up to its history and start changing the narrative (e.g. the BOM is not historical, but still has “good” lessons…maybe after taking out the Laban story and the racial bigotry) in order to stop the flow of membership out the door. What do you think?

I just noticed how in the temple recommend questions, they don't ask if you follow the teachings of Jesus Christ; they ask if you follow the teachings of the church.

To me, this is just another indicator that this is not actually the church of Jesus Christ but rather an organization that uses his name for their own benefit. I'm sure this is shocking to no one, but I'm curious about other perspectives.

We all know these new temples are unnecessary. Here’s how unnecessary:

Just had TBM family over for dinner. Their once thriving Bay Area ward is now so small, it is combining with another ward. Several wards in that stake have had to combine, so that stake is down to six very small wards.

The church announced the new temple will be built where a stake center currently stands.

My guess:

• They don’t need all the buildings anymore (at least not in the SF Bay Area)
• They have money to burn so why not pretend all is well in Zion by turning it into a temple

. . . and, as a bonus, burden the members with MORE responsibilities so they don’t have time to think / leave. Gross.

Can y'all share your experience as to why you didn't like being Mormon or what. I'm genuinely curious ( f15) I justed joined the latter-day Saints Church in mexico and it's been absolutely wonderful for me. :) please feel free to share your experiences!

One of my biggest issues with the Book of Mormon is it’s message is almost a direct copy and paste of the Bible. If it’s “the most correct” book on the planet and is supposed to “restore” the truths that were taken out of the bible, then why is there nothing original in it?

Things like temple worship, baptisms for the dead, priesthood offices, garments, word of wisdom, second anointing, etc. are all not mentioned in the Book of Mormon. If all of these things are so important and necessary for salvation, wouldn’t they be in there?

Genuinely curious if there is a logical answer that TBM’s have for this. To me this proves the Joseph just kind of made it all up as he went. What do you guys think?

I don’t know why I went looking on the other subreddit (LDS) but I did.. someone struggling with garments. Quoting Jesus about having only a persons heart, yet questioning why she had to wear garments. Questioning that if she didn’t wear them, she would get less blessings.. and wondered why the rest of the world would also receive less..

Exactly.. Then the comments.. ugh.. one lady said, “I hope you find help for your body dysmorphia.”

WTF

Ugh, it breaks my heart..

So a new story happened today at work I was speaking with that Mormon coworker who I always ask questions about Mormonism and she told me modest is hottest and how next time I watch a movie check the recommended age then subtract 6 years and see if that person of age would still watch it

I spent some time with my family this past weekend, most of which are still TBMs (but thankfully they’re the rational, non-fundamental type and were very supportive of me leaving). We got talking about the Layton temple open house and I commented about how crazy it was to just have so many temples in close proximity, and without even missing a beat my mom just goes “well that just means that they need more help doing the work. They wouldn’t build temples if there wasn’t work to be done”. And they say it with the surety of a kid talking about how much he believes in Santa Claus. It’s simultaneously cute, but also just… sad.

Especially because my mom made the point of “well the church was only created in the early 1800s, so there’s thousands and thousands of years of people to have their temple work done”. And now that I’m on the outside, you’re able to acknowledge the question of “well… why would a god who can bless his children with all the privileges in the afterlife make them wait until someone random person on earth gets around to doing their temple work?”. And she was so close to that line and I wanted to bring it up, but we were all having a nice time and I didn’t want to cause drama for no real reason. It’s just always a stark reminder to see just how much members just… don’t question things. In their minds, the idea that the church could be doing something dishonest or untoward is just not even on their radar

So it’s not the biggest deal in the world, especially compared to other situations I know a lot of other exmos are in. I’m not mormon or religious or anything like that and haven’t been for close to 15 years now. But my family still is and I’ve managed to still get along with them and have a good relationship with them despite our differences. Anyway, a sibling of mine is doing an upcoming talk for Mother’s Day and has asked all my siblings (including me) individually if there was anything that our mother has done to help us grow spiritually. I really don’t know how to respond and am at a loss and I don’t want to be a dick about it, I kindof just want to humor the whole situation with an easy vague “band-aid” response that will suffice without like straight up lying you know, but im really drawing a blank. I figured this would be a good place for some advice as to what I could do. I know that I could say something pretty snarky but I genuinely don’t want to do that. Does anyone have any advice?

And restored a clown college (Freemasonry) while they were at it.

As long as you're shedding "guilty" blood. And that's exactly what Brigham ordered done. Several times.