/r/exjw

Photograph via snooOG

The Internet's most comprehensive resource for ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, a community for support, recovery and a few laughs along the way.

Mobile Filters

No Memes/Selfies

Hide Selfies

Selfies Only

Hide Memes

Memes Only

Legacy Reddit


Reset | No Memes/Selfies

Selfie Filter: Hide | Only

Meme Filter: Hide | Only

Looking for flair? Simply click the edit link next to your name above this text.


Welcome to the Internet's most comprehensive resource for ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, a community for support, recovery and a few laughs along the way.

What /r/exjw is

  • A place for support, comfort and mutual encouragement.
  • A place to discuss current events pertaining to the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses.
  • A place for objectivity, questions and answers.
  • A place for fresh, original content.
  • A place where we all follow reddiquette.

Please keep these things in mind as you submit and comment. Together we can keep this place informative and consistent in its high quality.

Please read and understand the rules before you post or comment in this sub!


COMMONLY USED ACRONYMS

  • PIMO - Physically In/Mentally Out

  • PIMI - Physically In/Mentally In

  • POMO - Physically Out/Mentally Out

  • POMI - Physically Out/Mentally In


Are you a journalist or researcher seeking information from our subscriber base? We love to talk! Please message the mod team HERE so that they can vet you and sticky your request.


Wanna chat? Click to join our Discord chat server!

Want something a little more laidback? Check out the Teen ExJW Discord Server!


The r/exjw Wiki

The wiki addresses a number of frequently covered topics and is actively curated by our users.

Want to exit? Read the exit guide and get out gracefully.

Suicidal Thoughts?
Being an exjw can bring you to some difficult places. If you're in the worst of those places, please stop here first.

Kicked Out?
If you've been turned out of your home and you have no place to go, this page has some resources for you.

Young and Trapped? An exit guide for stuck-in youths.

The /r/exjw Glossary
Confused by some of the jargon around here? Check out the /r/exjw Glossary.

Related Subreddits
A list of sister subreddits and otherwise related subs.

Sample These Submissions
View some of /r/exjw's all time greatest hits!

Check Out These Websites
Destinations elsewhere on the Web that have the best content for exjws.

Surfing the YouTubes
From informative to hilarious, these are some of our favorite videos and channels on YouTube.

Recommended Reading
Our list of the best books for exjws across a wide variety of topics.


/r/exjw

99,499 Subscribers

8

You guys NEED to hear this drama that happened in service!

My mom got onto me because she says I never go out in service. So I scheduled to go out with a sister on Tuesday and afterwards me and her were going to go on a bible study. I got dressed and was waiting for her to come and pick me up. She was at the hall and texted me and said that a brother told her she couldn’t come and pick me up and he was he was coming to get me. When she said that I was like “huh???” 8 minutes later that brother showed up at my house and picked me up. One the way to the hall the brother told me why he was doing this.

He was telling me we should avoid spending too much time when we’re with the opposite sex, and it’s the things that satan can do between us. When we arrived at the hall, the sister was upset and she got into the car. The brother asked her “you are aware of the reason why I’m doing this, right?” She said “I know why! I’ve been in the truth all my life to know!” He told her exactly what he told me, when he drove me to the hall. He also told her to read a scripture 2nd Corinthians something, don’t remember the exact verse.

But she got her phone out and read it. After she read it she told the brother “look, all I’m doing is simply picking him up and taking him to the hall, nothing else! It’s not like we’re going to a party or elsewhere!” As the brother and sister were going back and fourth about this the brother finally said “you know what, I’m just going to leave it alone!” She said “thank you!” And it was left at that.

After service when I got home I told mom what happened. She told me she already knows. It turns out, when the brother had left the hall to pick me up, she called mom and told her what was going on.

1 Comment
2024/05/02
19:25 UTC

2

Late game fading

Hi ExJw community! I have a question for those that have faded. How did your family take the news that you weren't going to meetings? My family aren't in the cong that I used to go to. I haven't been to one in about 9 months or so.

My family seems entirely unaware of my "inactivity." I'm wondering what I should expect when they hear from a gossipy elder that they haven't seen me in a long time.

Obviously everyone's family will react differently but I'd love some personal anecdotes and advice about ways to calm them.

1 Comment
2024/05/02
18:58 UTC

5

WTAF did I just see?

Watching Chelsea vs Tottenham (UK soccer game) Chelsea just scored and the player lifted his top in celebration to reveal a t-shirt with "Jehovah's son" written on it... seriously?

4 Comments
2024/05/02
18:58 UTC

7

A list, so they can control if you can move on your divorce or not

Can you imagine the insane control in this religion?
You divorced your spouse. You need to deal with the loss, the trauma, being alone, the looks of pity...
Furthermore, if you don't have explicit proof that your spouse is having sex with someone else, you will never be free to move on and have another relationship.

https://preview.redd.it/e7jtelnn82yc1.png?width=2078&format=png&auto=webp&s=82c939731dd660ca153857ba25f8b6a93c40ffa7

Now, you will be in a list. All the elders (and their families, since they don't keep secrets) will know why you got divorced and they will all be ready to disfellowship you if you have a relationship with someone else.

A FREAKING LIST

You are not allowed to live your life. Everyone is worried about your sex life. This is completely insane!!!!
This is part of the April 2024 Announcements and Reminders

2 Comments
2024/05/02
18:56 UTC

5

Crises of Conscience Quote

This quote is from Raymond Franz’s book: Crises of Conscience.

This quote is fascinating to me because when I was 10 I got baptized (1997) and by 12 I remember an elder coming to my house reading some scriptures about lying, etc because I was skipping school to play my new Sega Genesis and he said “If I have to come back I’ll bring a bucket” and in my head I was going to be disfellowshipped and I remember crying and I tell my mom this story till this day because obviously she allowed it to happen. I used to be scared of elders until I was an adult. Pretty sick!

“The Scriptural declaration that, on a day certain to come, each Christian elder will “render an account” to the Supreme Judge regarding his dealings with, and treatment of, God’s sheep, should surely give those exercising great authority among Christians a serious reason for weighing carefully what they do.11”

Excerpt From Crisis of Conscience Raymond Franz

2 Comments
2024/05/02
18:49 UTC

8

Lol this type of Jdub

My favourite type of food witness is the type to shit on myself and many others for pursing school or some other endeavour besides full time but than can’t go out cause they broke 😂😂 And now they wanna be buddy with me Like he wasn’t just talking shit about us.

Another favourite is the non educated ones who don’t understand that even if the new world was a thing you would need certain parts of education For the new world to function Engineering ??? The arts ??? Technology??? Science Math

You can literally see they have no understanding of the most basic building blocks of life But oh when tough times come around who do they look at ? Brothers and sisters and who are relatively doing well for themselves.

Clowns I tell you. Clowns.

5 Comments
2024/05/02
18:23 UTC

4

Pimo life

Ms(20). Life has never been as peaceful and funny as it is right now. Yeah I’m expected to step up here and there but really I feel so much better as of lately. I don’t try to wake people up anymore I just laugh whenever change happens and people start complaining in secret during field but nod there heads in Union during the meetings with there bs smiles. My friends are heavy pimis but corrupt (normal guys who just believe this bs really ) they don’t bother me I don’t bother them. I don’t jump at every little bit of info now. I’m just chilling man. Enjoying the vibes working on my talking and sales skills on the platform. Skipping field as much as possible and really it’s great.

I remember like 2 years ago I felt betrayed hurt Panicking always tryna show my boys the “light “ Mad doing constant research all that bs. Now bro I don’t care enjoying my time Riding out my plan. I’m at a point that even if I was wrong about the jdubs I’d still leave cause this ain’t me and the plan is in motion. For all you pimos out there , relax do you and focus on the end goal. And obviously everyone has different obstacles but don’t be so short sighted about the future be patient and trust the process it’s all gonna work out 🙏

0 Comments
2024/05/02
18:18 UTC

2

NEW PROMOTIONAL UN VIDEO FOR JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES

0 Comments
2024/05/02
18:09 UTC

14

THE GOVERNING BODY

THE GOVERNING BODY:

*Greedy

*Obnoxious

*Vicious

*Egomaniacal

*Redundant

*Narcissistic

*Incorrigible

*Nuts

*Good for nothing

*Bullies

*Out of touch with reality

*Delusional

*¥ouths worst enemy

These, plus the admission from the governing body that they are NOT infallible or inspired, are the characteristics of the jw's cult leaders. The fact that they boast that there are 9 of these psychopaths rather than just one is INSANE!!

Who in their right mind would want to worship these assholes who do absolutely NOTHING but run their mouths, making shit up as they go along to further their own agenda and Grandeur delusions!!

They NEVER offer any practical help! They always take and NEVER give! The average jw is living in poverty, practically starving and they're talking about doing MORE FOR JEHOVAH or how they're giving spiritual food at the proper time, meanwhile, back at the ranch they're literally eating AND drinking like kings! GTFOH!

All they do is gaslight, manipulate, dictate, retaliate and make empty promises. They are in fact PATHOLOGICAL LIARS who believe they don't owe anyone an apology for mistakes they've made in the past or continue to make. This in and of itself is a blatant lie, yet they would NEVER LIE to the flock?!

That LIE is so egregious, outlandish and appalling, it's kind of scary! WTF are they planning/setting the stage for the rank and file to blindly obey, trusting foolishly that the gb “NEVER LIES!” Are the sheep being prepped to be slaughtered?

Makes me wonder…I'm enraged and disgusted with the governing body! I want them to die before anyone else has to!!

FYI Bernie Madoff also had the uncanny ability to make people worldwide trust him implicitly. The gb's affinity scam is no different from that financial scam. It is essentially identical. One fraud doesn't include God, the other one does. Much worse!

EVIL LIARS! Uuuugggghhhh🤬🤮

15 Comments
2024/05/02
18:08 UTC

8

Tried coming out

I'm Pimo (close to PoMo). I tried telling the elders about my bisexuality. Instead of any sort of understanding they laid into me with hateful and unkind responses. They brought up things that happened before etc. So now I rarely take to them or anybody in the congregation. The only reason I ever go to meetings on Sunday is because my wife wants to. She's in denial but getting to be PIMO as well.

4 Comments
2024/05/02
18:02 UTC

45

This week's Watchtower study says Jehovah formed the Christian congregation, contradicting Matthew 16:18

Matthew 16:18 reads "Also, I say to you: You are Peter, and on this rock I (Jesus) will build my congregation, and the gates of the Grave will not overpower it."

Jesus formed the Christian congregation-HIS congregation. Not Jehovah. These assholes bend over backwards to diminish Jesus's role in everything.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to slip this into a comment with sounding the apostate alarm bells?

34 Comments
2024/05/02
17:26 UTC

9

Free to Decide by The Cranberries

I heard this song today. It had been a long time since I listened to it. You can say what you want about Dolores O'Riordan and her death, but she hit the nail on the head for a lot of us in this song.

[Verse 1] It's not worth anything more than this at all I live as I choose or I will not live at all

[Pre-Chorus] So, return to where you've come from Return to where you dwell Because harassment's not my forte But you do it very well

[Chorus] I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide And I'm not so suicidal after all I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide And I'm not so suicidal after all At all, at all, at all

Verse 2] You must have nothing more with your time to do There's a war in Russia and Sarajevo too

[Pre-Chorus] So, to hell with what you're thinking And to hell with your narrow mind You're so distracted from the real thing You should leave your life behind

[Chorus] 'Cause I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide And I'm not so suicidal after all I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide And I'm not so suicidal after all At all, at all, at all

[Chorus] I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide And I'm not so suicidal after all At all, at all, at all

[Outro] At all, at all, at all

1 Comment
2024/05/02
16:45 UTC

2

Dating an exjw

Hey guys I met this girl in college and we bonded quite fast. We both are open that we are into each other, we talk every day, good morning and sleep tight texts every day, hold hands watching movies and so on and so forth. We also party, go to clubs, drink and everything seems quite normal to me but this one thing: every time we have the opportunity to kiss she is holding back, saying “not here” for example and I am not sure I am doing something wrong or not. She told me she was raised until she was 11 as a jw but that her family left it and this got me thinking a little bit. Since I’ve never really had contact to jw I don’t really know how everything works when it comes to romantic interest/relationships. Would you say there’s anything important for me to know? I am kinda lost and I really like her, I don’t want to fuck things up. Thanks a lot and sorry for my ignorance about this topic

5 Comments
2024/05/02
16:40 UTC

16

How would the discovery of life on another planet affect the org?

Or religion as a whole for that matter.

25 Comments
2024/05/02
16:04 UTC

9

Who makes final selection of convention speakers?

I know three elders fill the speakers rating form and the CO and his three other men makes final ratings and send it to the branch office. COs are usually Chairman of conventions. However how does the branch office assign talks? Any Bethel person here to give a comment? Is the CO directly involved in the final assignment of talks? Any help?

4 Comments
2024/05/02
15:59 UTC

8

Anybody in the Fort Myers Area?

We'll be meeting in Fort Myers on May 24th. If you would like to join dm me or email rubytavarez21@gmail.com Jeron B from Youtube will also be attending.

2 Comments
2024/05/02
15:58 UTC

19

100k is the start of the GT, and at 144k is Armaggedon

Source: it was revealed to me in a dream

So get ready and prepare your basements

6 Comments
2024/05/02
15:48 UTC

141

It's ironic seeing POMOS on here telling fading PIMOs to press the nuke button and leave their families behind. I mean it doesn't get more Watchtower than that. Good job POMOs! Good job!! Yeahhh!!!

Every now and again I see that on here. Some poor PIMO is playing the long game, in the process of leaving. Bobbing and weaving. Throwing the jab. Good head movement. Good footwork. In the 10th of a 12 round fight. Up on the cards. He's this close. Already stepped down from being a ministerial servant. He's this close. This close. He's gonna be able to save his marriage. Still be with his kids. Maintain family ties. I mean sure, family will look at him as spiritually weak. But whatever. They're all still going on vacation in June.

Then here comes the bitter ex-jw who just read something from Nietzsche. He can't spell Nietzshe, but he read something from Nietzsche. He finds out about a PIMO fading to save his family ties. Butthurt sequence initiated. He's been dying to tell us something from Will to Power. The irony is he comes off like the WT.

Watchtower: Your relationship with Jehovah is more important than your family.

Bitter Ex-JW: Your intellectual freedom is more important than your family.

Fading PIMO: I can have my intellectual freedom and my family.

Bitter Ex-JW: You're the problem!!

Amazing.

94 Comments
2024/05/02
14:24 UTC

6

On & off pimis

Dealing with someone who is a PIMI can be mentally exhausting however dealing with "on and off PIMI" will drive you nuts especially if ever once took them seriously

Here On & Off PIMIS

Mean those who one day bitch about the watchtower and after few hours praise the watchtower....it goes on and off, like pick a side

If you have known someone like that, how did you dealt with them especially when u liked them or still like them?

2 Comments
2024/05/02
06:31 UTC

5

I can’t take this anymore

Context: during the pandemic I didn’t care really care about the meetings or service and it was really easy to avoid but when the meetings came back I actually started trying to do more for my spiritualness. I was actually doing a lot better mentally and finally made a few friends after going to in person meetings and meeting some people my age. I met this one girl and I eventually fell in love with her. We would hang out a lot and eventually on the phone we said we loved each other. We secretly dated for a couple weeks than she said she was still in love with another guy. My heart got crushed and my mental health fell through the roof.

Now I hate the fact that 2 days out of every week I have to see her and remember all the memories that we had. I can’t even tell any of my friends or family about it cause I would get in trouble for secretly dating. And the worst part about all of this is now she’s dating one of my best friends. I want to tell on her but I would never do that to my friend. Now my mental health is nonexistent and I have her stuck on my mind. I don’t know what to do anymore

5 Comments
2024/05/02
09:23 UTC

0

How the mind works

Has anyone ever heard of Schemas or confirmation bias? If so, what role do you think they play in the belief system of the organization?

7 Comments
2024/05/02
12:37 UTC

38

“Does god care about women?” No I don’t think he does….

Link if you’re interested: https://www.jw.org/en/library/series/more-topics/womens-safety-bible-perspective/

Soooo I saw that the JWs just made an article on their main page talking about how Jehovah helps women who were abused and gives them “comfort”.

Pretty hypocritical as any ExJW knows that the JWs also have child abuse within their own organization. Their article has comments from women who were abused and they mention how Jehovah apparently helped them get through it.

In retaliation to this, I have decided to counter these statements by using quotes from former JWs who were abused and spoke out against the organization. My JW grandmother always said that you need to get both sides of the story so thats exactly what I’m gonna do here!

(1) Quote from JW article:

When I was a child, my brother abused me physically and verbally every single day. After I married, my mother-in-law continued the assaults. She and my father-in-law treated me as a slave. I battled thoughts of suicide.”—Madhu, India.

ExJW Quote:

"I can remember feeling the inside of me screaming out to the people of the congregation for help" - Candace Conti, California

(2) Quote from JW article:

“As a child, I was sexually abused by relatives. When I was 17, my employer threatened to fire me if I did not have sex with him. As an adult, I have been belittled by my husband, parents, and neighbors. But eventually I learned about Jehovah, the Creator. He views women with respect. This assured me that he loves me and that I am valuable in his eyes.”—Maria, Argentina.

ExJW Quote:

-- “I told the Elder that me and my cousin were being raped by our abuser. He looked at me and called me a liar. My heart just dropped out of me. The very first Elder that I shared it with called me a liar.” --- Romy Maple, Fortuna California

(3) Quote from JW article:

“For 20 years I told no one that I had been sexually molested. As a result, I grew unhappy, anxious, and depressed. But when I finally shared my experience with someone who was willing to listen, I felt incredible relief.”—Elif, Türkiye.

ExJW Quote:

-- “The Watchtower Society didn't want to acknowledge that these girls were telling the truth because they were accusing the Elders of molesting them.” -- Barbara Anderson, Tennessee

(4) Quote from JW article:

“Learning about Jehovah began to help me heal from the deep wounds inflicted on me. Now I can confide in God through prayer. He is like a friend who really understands my feelings.”—Ana, Belize.

ExJW Quote:

“It is important that the public understands that there is a crisis of silence within the Jehovah's Witness Organization. A crisis of cover up and the sexual abuse of children. We are trying to expose an organization that is more concerned with protecting its reputation than it is about protecting its own children.” -- Irwin Zalkin, San Diego

14 Comments
2024/05/02
12:49 UTC

2

Help me Jw

Hello I was disfellow 3yrs ago and now the don't shun me. Whats the reason?

6 Comments
2024/05/02
13:51 UTC

20

Jehovah's Witness Birthday Belief Exposed

THIS VIDEO IS A MUST WATCH! He did a remarkable job with this video! It's very educational and informative. I knew some of this stuff but what I didn't know was very interesting. It's also refreshing to hear him blast them in regards to their double standards/hypocrisy on every damn thing being "pagan" until it's something they want to do! So per the usual they pick and THEY DECIDE what's what.

As I said in my in my book, written when I first fully woke up, they make the shit up as they go along!! Miserable, delusional mfs!!

If it's somebody's birthday today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Eat🎂 and drink🍾🍷🍹& celebrate you/your life to the fullest WITH ABSOLUTELY NO GUILT! Fuck the garbage nobodies and all their flying monkeys with this pagan BS! Enough is enough!! 🥳 🎶 🎵 💃 🕺

23 Comments
2024/05/02
13:49 UTC

26

As a UK JW, were you ever offended or felt slighted by the fact that there are so many languages of the WT but you guys had to hear American English every Sunday read to you?

I'm American but ... From what I can tell, UK folks are just as proud as most people are around the world of their language and culture. I had Brits tell about all the sayings and words that are found in the WT that are NEVER used in the UK. How hard would it be to have WT study articles written in English that is at least spoken in London? But again, how much did this bother you?

21 Comments
2024/05/02
13:10 UTC

18

Any old timers here who were in during 1968?

I know this is a long shot, but any ex-JWs here who were around back then and can shed light how the Borg tried to spin the protests as “proof” that the end was “imminent”? Every PIMI I know is convinced the GT is about to start because of the protests in the US, and saying things like “this has never happened before”, when 1968 had far more unrest.

20 Comments
2024/05/02
12:56 UTC

42

Is Our Subreddit's Growth Stagnating?

It seems we've been holding steady at 99,000, with fewer visiting; any ideas?

62 Comments
2024/05/02
11:53 UTC

5

Does anybody have the date list for english district conventions in 2025?

I'm getting married next year in June and I'm just wondering if anybody knows the convention dates? so I can prepare myself not to go mental, when my mum says she's not going to come because of it. It is what it is🤷‍♀️

13 Comments
2024/05/02
11:03 UTC

36

Elders kids

I've been bullied (still being picked on tbf and I'm 24) by elders kids my whole life. Constantly pushed out, as they were home schooled and I went to public school. Other elders were aware of it but did nothing because the dad was the "main" elder in the congregation. Wheres the love? Jehovah knows I struggle with it so why hasn't he stepped in and stopped it? We all know that if the congregation or someone in the congregation does wrong, Jehovah removes his spirit so why hasn't he removed these people that have been horrible to me for 20 years?

18 Comments
2024/05/02
09:21 UTC

Back To Top