I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, and for most of my childhood, that identity shaped everything, how I saw the world, the friendships I had, and the things I was allowed to participate in. At the time, I didn’t question it, it was all I knew.

Holidays and birthdays weren’t just things I didn’t celebrate, they were things I had to avoid entirely. In elementary school, if there were special activities relating to a holiday or birthday, I would be sent to the library, isolated so I wouldn’t take part. Most of the time, I accepted it, but there were moments that stuck with me, moments that made me feel just how different I was.

One Valentine’s Day in the 1st grade, we had a substitute teacher and I wasn’t excused from class like I usually was. Instead, I had to sit there and watch as the other kids exchanged cards and candies. I saw my classmates celebrating this so-called day that represented love. I recall questioning Does anyone love me?

I remember sitting at my desk, watching as my friends gave out their cards, but not to me, feeling completely invisible, Even the girls I had little crushes on seemed to overlook me. I felt so alone, like I didn’t belong, not just in that classroom, but anywhere. I remember crying that day and the heaviness of that realization settling in my chest.

That feeling of being on the outside looking in has followed me still to this very moment. It shaped the way I saw myself, the way I understood love and acceptance. Even now, as an adult, I struggle with those same questions:Am I truly loved? Do I belong? The loneliness of that moment didn’t just fade with time, it's become something I carry with me, something that still lingers in ways I don’t know how to fix.

I’ve found that explaining these feelings to people who haven’t lived them often leads to confusion or dismissal, they don’t see how something as "small" as missing out on holidays could have such a deep impact. I basically stopped talking about it altogether, it got frustrating to try to get someone to understand. I share this as I don't have many avenues to express myself, I don't have many friends and much less, a partner to relate my thoughts to. Maybe someone reading this has felt the same way, has carried the same questions and may understand my struggles.

So, I just got this little notification telling me I've been on Reddit for a full year now, so I thought I might share a little about how I got here. I hadn't really thought about it until it showed up on my phone, but now I'm thinking back to when I first downloaded the app and just...wow.

I first downloaded Reddit specifically so I could join the exjw community here after learning about it online, shortly after finding out from my counsellor that there were actually resources online for people in my situation (having been pimo for over a year at the time).

At the time, I was still living with my parents, so I mostly just lurked here for a while without taking the risk of interacting. However, this past August, I moved out for school to live with some other family who I didn't have to worry about snooping in my phone, and I finally joined the community directly. I didn't have the guts to post yet, but that changed pretty soon after. I only lived where I was for about a month before things went sideways, and I ended up running away.

It was the first time in my life I've really felt free.

I celebrated Halloween for the first time with the friends I was staying with, and had an amazing time. And now I've managed to get my own place with two really close never-jw friends of mine, and while we're still figuring out how to scrape by, I feel the happiest and safest I've ever been. We even celebrated Yule and Christmas together along with some of their family, which resulted in a lot of happy tears from me.

I haven't had to go to a meeting or in service in months, and I feel like I have so much more time and energy now for the people and things that I love. Things are still complicated, especially with my family as I haven't yet told them I'm not going to meetings and don't believe in the Watchtower doctrine anymore yet, but it's slowly getting better.

Mostly, I really just wanted to extend a thank you to the community here. Without all of your advice and posts, and everything I've learned from being here (along with some urging from my pomo cousin) I never would have been able to make it to this place in my life yet. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Watch Tower is very good at hiding their dirt. They are taking advantage of this by challenging Norway with, ‘show us that dirt you are accusing us of…`

They accuse Norway of not having conducted a study/studies to verify the claims Norway is making.

First of all, would the Watchtower be willing to provide a list of all JWs who have either left or been kicked out, so that Norway can conduct a thorough study?

If Watchtower has nothing to hide, and nothing to be ashamed of, then there is no reason for Watchtower to not provide information to Norway, for such studies.

Would that list also include those who are deemed apostates? Of course, Watchtower has relegated the Apotates testimonies as “apostate lies.” How would Watchtower handle this?

Another issue that hasn’t even been addressed, is the harm done to those who are labeled “apostate.” Isn’t simply being labeled apostate, harmful? Defamation of character?

And how about the “harm” caused to those still in the organization who are punished for talking or maintaining a relationship with the Disfellowshipped and those who chose to leave the organization?

Let’s just hope that Norway has a good list of all those who have been harmed by WT, due to their disfellowshiping policy.

Because, ultimately it is the duty of the accuser to prove the accusations are true.

People that are no longer Jws, where do you align spirituality now? Do you practice a different religion, agnostic, atheist, somewhere in between? Any old beliefs you still hold on to or new beliefs you have? Personally I’m spiritual but don’t follow a specific religion

For context I'm 24 now, grew up going to meetings, service the whole 9 yards until like 17 my family stopped going as much. Although they don't go they still follow all the rules pretty much.

I have a 10 year old brother who's now having to abide by those rules, and I feel bad for him. Not celebrating birthdays, holidays etc. I try to be the cool brother and let him do some stuff he's not supposed to do. Like I showed him all the Harry Potter movies and we really bonded over them.

It's just sad to see him going through the same things I did as a kid. Feeling left out of everything. I've confronted my dad about it, about how he cares so much about politics love Star Wars and marvel etc but a book about some witches and wizards is too much? It's complete and utter bullshit

I brought the Harry Potter thing back up today because we were planning to take my lil bro to universal studios. But I was like "well one of the best things there is the Harry Potter world and I would love to really take it in, etc" He immediately replied in that sarcastic undertone and said "well yea maybe we shouldn't do that then". What a pussy lol. I proceeded to call him a hypocrite for literally watching fox as his main source of entertainment and he just stayed silent. He couldn't say anything back lol. He knows he's a hypocrite yet for some reason he's still holding onto these ideals of Jehovah. He will still pray to him when he's really stressed lol. Like dude you only go to conventions once a year to please your nearly 80 year old mom. You are not a true follower.

Shits annoying af ngl. I'm moved out but still it affects my brothers life and mine in certain ways.

Hi All,

I’m a non-JW, atheist scholar with a background in History. I was researching the organization and stumbled upon this awesome subreddit. Kudos to everyone for sharing your stories here. As a historian I love primary sources such as letters, diaries, but even publications from a certain period to analyze how people were thinking in a specific moment in history. So I was wondering how did you explain, when PIMI, that there are zero eyewitness accounts of Jesus inspecting the organization? Or were you not aware?

What I'm saying is: Up until around 1927 the bible students believed Russell was the Faithful Slave, but the whole concept that Jesus approved the organization didn't come until 1930. So from 1914 to 1930 there was no one who had the slightest idea about Jesus inspecting the organisation: no eyewitnesses, nothing, even in WT. And then when Rutherford started formalizing the doctrine in the 30s, Jesus apparently had been doing exactly that. I understand that this is a theological creation. However, I love history, facts and sources. So when something so major apparently happened in 1914-1919, I feel like I would have wanted to know how it was experienced by people. Would this be different than reading a soldier's diary who fought in the great war? Wouldn't a first person account of Jesus approving the organisation be immediately classified as scripture?

Thank you for taking the time to read and thinking with me. Excuse me if some of the dates are off.

Go Norway!

Angels from heaven ,mating with women (so all males) making Nephilim giants making a flood necessary killing millions??

I just thought about it… for the first time in my life, I’m physically out and mentally out of this cult. Not only that but I also got to maintain contact with my family! I no longer attend meetings, family worship, or any other form of worship.

A year ago I fully woke up after learning some of the bigger, more significant things about the WTS and the blatant flaws in a lot of their core doctrines. It was traumatizing to say the least but I’ve been talking about it with my psychiatrist and we’ve been working it out through therapy and medication but I ended up having a mental breakdown in my workplace parking lot.

I severed relationships, burnt bridges, and I took a leave of absence but I was a couple days late with the RTW paperwork and so nobody reached out to me ever and would pass me onto the next person/union rep/manager. They don’t want me back.

I can explain why I had a mental breakdown but basically it was the pressure of keeping the secret of me being agnostic and a homosexual from my family, while also maintaining a whole different persona at work, and then I had some lame work drama and relationship stuff all happening at once. My grandpa was diagnosed with heart failure dude… he’s probably about to get one-shot by a no blood card. I could not handle even the thought of that.

So anyways I was in the parking lot with my manager yelling cuss words about specific managers, the main boss, some employees… I seriously wish I didn’t take it out on them. They were the straw that broke my back but still… I told my manager that I don’t feel happy at home, at church, or at work and work was all I had at this point. It was my place to be myself and it didn’t feel like a place for that anymore and I crashed out.

I told him I don’t want to live anymore. He said “I’ll be back with a water” and then cops started spawning. They talked to me and then took me to a state funded mental clinic, but when they found out I don’t have the right insurance they kicked me out precisely like I’m Mr. Krabbs. The worst part is almost no one understands. People blocked me because somebody went around saying I tried to kill everyone, ig telephone game style? I don’t think he’d just lie but it sounds like he was eavesdropping from a distance and misheard. I mean I was in the parking lot and yelling.

I digress, I had my mom pick me up and although I didn’t tell her then, I told my step dad the next day because he wanted to get to the bottom of it. He told my mom, they immediately told the elders and some friends, which means they told everyone immediately like the next day or two. But the thing is since I had a mental breakdown, they’re more sympathetic towards me I guess. They’re not asking me to go or anything. It’s been great.

I hope things turn out for the best… I thought I’d come back here since I’ve never been POMO in my life. I just realized it out of nowhere. Idk what else to say but I was just excited to say this :)

So my mom is extremely PIMI, I am DF'd. And since they have changed the whole you can kind of talk to disfellowshiped people, she's been contacting me more and more. I'm going to a Superbowl Party at my brother's. And couldn't help but roast my mom. For those of you who don't feel like looking it up, 1Corinth 5:11 is the scripture that says "Not even eating with such a man"

So glad I've found this community. Been out 3 years since I chose my loving husband over "jehovah god". I've never been happier but the trauma is still there. Recently watched a commentary video of the bunker videos from 2016 (my last convention) and wow was it eye opening to realize how fucked up it all is. The fear mongering is intense. And to be constantly told you're not enough? Repulsive. Shamefully, I cried my eyes out all the way through and at some points I physically couldn't look at the screen. To be subjected to that sort of fear is disgusting.

Anyway, happy to be here. Happy you're all here. Zero regrets escaping that cult.

Hi everyone, I'm Kareena and I''m F24. I woke up during the pandemic and ive grown alot since then. Watchtower is far behind me. However, i was journaling and i wish had entries from the before times, like honest ones. I recall it always being such an uphill battle in there. I remember losing my closest childhood friend in there just because we grew apart. But i mourned that friendship deeply because from then on i never made one again. She had moved on and had closer bonds with others, understandably as she was pretty and charismatic. It did hurt though because i needed a friend at that time. It hurt being so isolated from everyone there. I loved them and they disregarded me. No one else in my family was ever sidelined even though they weren't as loyal as i was. I recall an elder announcing everyone's name to put into groups and i was the only person he forgot. It was weird but at the time i just assumed it was because i had a big family. Uk my real family abandoned me alot, neglected me, mocked me. I needed this other family to help but they didnt. I was invisible there. I just wasnt enough Anyways, im grateful for who I've become now. Just wanted to share to see if anyone else felt similar.

Let's go back to supporting each other in our "exjw community" Let's make the largest thread of positive comments of the person that posts a comment prior. It can be anything that comes to mind , all I ask is that it is supportive and positive. We may not.know each other personally but we all have been on a journey together whether or not we knew it.

It’s like they want to fucking ruin every chance you have to get away with your family for a few days

This time is February 15th the branch visit ruining the family day long weekend.
We had a circuit overseer that would schedule the assemblies on september long weekend every year.

Hey all,

I’m not sure how to ask the moderators directly so forgive me if this is too public a forum, but it feels like a mega thread for all things to do with US politics would be helpful?

Although I empathise with all my US ex-JWs here and I know you’re all experiencing a lot of uncertainty and worry, selfishly, as someone from the UK, it would be really nice if it were all contained in one thread, so if we’re less interested or affected by the current climate, it’s easy for us to move past it rather than see multiple posts a day?

For those of you who were not born and raised JWs, but who instead made your own independent choice to join 'the Truth' (lol) as adults later in life, I have a few questions just purely out interest:

1. How old were you when you joined the WTS ?

2. Did you come from a different religion, or had you previously been secular / irreligious ?

3. Did you join alone or with your partner / husband / wife / other family members ?

My father was 10 or 11 years old when his parents (my grandparents), became JWs (they had previously been Catholics). Of course, when my grandparents started studying the Bible with the JWs, my father and his siblings were forced into the Society against their will (they had no choice in the matter).

It was years ago that I was told all the info, but I do remember from what I was told that my grandfather was baptised at a convention in 1961 at the age of 53, and my grandmother I assume was baptised at or around the same time (at about age 35; yes, there was a big age difference between her and my grandfather).

My father and his siblings never got baptised and all left the Society when they became of age (they couldn't wait to get out).

Thirty-five years later, I am mid-trauma response again.

Please forgive this fragmented post, but I need to share. It is not meant to be without hope and without positivity. I am currently struggling because of a build-up of things. Plus, maybe something in it can help someone else.

(I was officially diagnosed with PTSD in 2018, stemming from my teenage years and the shunning.)

Last week, my body and brain started to shut down (shaking, total and complete brain fog, sometimes almost catatonic, hard to form sentences, extreme to-the-bone fatigue, extreme anger at times—to the point where I want to scream and throw things, the spontaneous ugly-crying) due to the stress of everything (I thought it was just grief at first, but no—it is way more) …moving, selling house, buying house, fixing up other house to Air BnB, working full-time, newly co-habitating and learning how to successfully do that, all the animals (pets), all the (sports) games, out-of-town tournaments, etc.)—I couldn’t do it all and it all happened so fast (that is no one’s fault). It was all just ….building up. And then the funeral. And then the interaction with my JW parents.  I spiraled.

I believe this is called a “flop” trauma response. Yes, confirmed with doctor.

Once again, I have very dark thoughts of cutting at my arms. I visualize myself sitting on the floor in the bathroom, watching the blood come out and drain down my wrists like some magical liquid that will release the pain as it all drips onto the floor. I do not want to die, but I want to release the pain. (This is not a cry for help — I do not want to die and will not harm myself.)

(My former psych said that this is a very common thought of those who are trauma-affected—the physically wanting to be able to release the pain in a tangible manner.)

Jan 14 and then 1991:
The icing: M died (my first boyfriend and lifelong friend), and it brought up the deep-seated, in-my-bones trauma of the time in my life when he and I got together in high school. My parents found out I had a boyfriend, wrote his parents a letter, and wanted to get him for statutory rape….blah blah blah.

So I told my parents “No.More.”—that I didn’t believe in their JW religion (by definition of a cult, it meets all criteria) and I never really did (I firmly believe it is a fear-based, control-based religion. See also: JWs and child abuse. There is phonebook-sized list of court cases, not to mention those that never went to court). There are tons of “survivor groups” on social media. The proof-laced book authored by LE that is meant to expose all the JW hypocrisy—it is bigger than the Bible. Irony, anyone?

I was shunned. I remember my mom saying, “You are opening up a huge can of worms!!” There was so much rage in that house (and not just then). I was supposed to talk to The Elders (yeahhhh, Nope), and I had to write a letter of disassociation to their congregation because I had been baptized (Why did I get baptized at 15? …to please my mom. That is THE ONLY reason.)

Their JW people would not talk to me, speak to me or even make eye contact with me. I’d be in my room for 5-7 hours straight when The Friends (shudder) were over, e.g. Thankfully, there was an upstairs bathroom.

[This started an unhealthy, lifelong pursuit of acceptance. I needed everyone to like me. I was always overly-concerned with what people thought of me, and would ruminate.[

I don’t understand how my dad, as smart and scientific as he is—how he fell for it. It was 10-15 years after my mom got into it that he caved and is now just as “zealous” as she is. I asked my cousins if they think he is “all in” only because he loves my mom—I got a resounding: YES, ABSOLUTELY.

They have supported me in various ways over the years; I’ll give them that and am grateful. But I craved their presence and that feeling of safety and belonging. I would look at my friends’ parents and wonder if they’d be my parents, too. By the time I was about 25, my own started to just feel like a distant aunt and uncle. They did not attend my wedding  because I wasn’t a JW and neither was my future husband.

For some reason, my dad does not trigger me nearly as much as my mom. I am not entirely sure of the whole reason, but part of it is because I think I’ve always had respect for him—from an intellectual standpoint. My dad can be very fun and funny. I relate to his somewhat sardonic humor.

Summary #1: Therein started the PTSD that would not be actually diagnosed until my early 40s. Not a day used to go by that I didn’t have a sense of dread that something bad was going to happen. When was the bottom going to fall out again? I’d stay up really late because if I went to sleep, the next day would come (and that unknown was absolute crackling fear deep in my bones). When I became a single mom in 2015, my anxiety heightened to scary levels—I had to keep Everything On Course. My job, money, etc., etc. For myself but especially for my son.

Summary #2: I don’t like that I was zapped of self-confidence. Here’s the thing, though. I like me. I know I am a good human. One can be a good human and also have boundaries to protect one’s well-being. As one of my good friends tells me over and over: “You are always trying. You are always doing things, doing the work to be the best version of yourself.” 

Quote: “We go to therapy for all those in our lives that don’t.” Is that sarcastic? Yes. Is it true. A lot of the time, also yes.

_________

1993+:

So, after high school, I was lost for a very long time. Depressed, disordered eating, body dysmorphia, etc.  I am not sure how I managed a 2-year degree and then my bachelor’s degree, but I did (while working multiple jobs at once, with a full-time credit load). I paid off my student loans when I was 45 years old (but also that late in life because my financial advisor told me not to pay them off because I had consolidated at such a low interest rate-LOL).

I (sometimes “we”) traveled all over the world, I maintained a stressful corporate career and I have money in the bank. I went sky-diving, I got scuba-certified on the Great Barrier Reef. I did a lot of “stuff” and I regret none of it. I was Miss Responsible Career Girl while also wanting to be Miss Spontaneous and Fun. There should be a separate analysis of why I had to be so “shiny”.

…but guess what? I plan on doing more stuff, especially with my son and fiancé. Memories and experiences are our fabric that forever keeps being woven.

Anyway, my biggest triggers are not feeling heard, not being believed, continuous conflict with loved ones and also when I have to re-live it (my parents’ house is sometimes one of those triggers, and when they say certain words like: “The Friends”, “congregation”, “out in service” —which is JW-speak for when they go door-to-door). I don’t know why they still speak to me; I don’t think they’re supposed to.

____

1991:

M (my first boyfriend who just died) was 2 years older than me; that all happened the summer before my junior year. I lived with my parents because I was a minor. During my senior year, I told them flat-out that I was going to the Winterfest dance with a (different) boy—M had gone off to college (and ignored me, which he later apologized for—he was fighting his own battles).

I only have snippets of memory from that night, but my mom was beating on me with my tennis racket in my bedroom. Then I could hear my parents fighting downstairs, and heard my dad say, “Well, then I’ll just take care of it!!!!!” (I feel like he said something about a gun, but don’t really now know).

I then heard him running fast up the stairs—there were two ways to get to my bedroom. I heard which way he was going, took the other way and ran downstairs, out the door and across the street. I think I hid behind a big tree (?). I was wearing a peachy-orange Bart Simpson tshirt that said, “Don’t have a cow, Man!”, and chambray-striped jeans.

I don’t know who called the cops, but then I was (we were?) at the cop shop — they looked at my body for injuries/bruises (there weren’t any visible signs of the tennis racket).

I was made to spend that night at my aunt and uncle’s down the street (at some point, I asked them if I could just live there—it got awkward). The only thing we were mandated to do was one family therapy session.

Of note: my mom would regularly search my room for whatever she felt was “bad”. She took books, yearbooks, my music, etc. I’d sleep curled up with my purse. I was grounded for most of my senior year, or so it seemed. Was I rebellious? Yes. Why? See above.

____

2019:

When my sister was pulled out of her house after a crack bender—when that all broke open—my dad said something to me like, “Well, we have some experience with this—you in high school.”

I saw red. I said to him that ALL I EVER really wanted in high school was to be “normal”. I wanted to be in sports, to be able to go to dances, prepare for college, etc. I also told him that I did not do drugs—I drank alcohol here and there, smoked cigarettes and tried pot maybe twice (all true).

I blew a blood vessel in my eye that day. Oh, and here’s irony: my dad is a well-known track coach. I wasn’t allowed to be in track or anything else. I went on to run marathons in my 30s, some sprint triathlons and a Half Ironman.

(My dad does not fully follow JW rulebook; I am not sure how he gets away with it.)
____

I have a 13-y-o son. Nothing, absolutely nothing will ever, EVER prevent me from supporting him emotionally, mentally, spiritually—-all the things. I brought him into this world—it is my job to always make sure he feels safe and loved. If he wants to be Hindu, Catholic, …..whatever…. I will support his beliefs. I allow his grandparents (my parents) in his life because that is who I am. Rise above. Forgive without apology.

What God allows the type of child betrayal I experienced? It is that simple.

Ok, so maybe my parents were damaged from their parents or experiences. Maybe we all have affected DNA.

However, doesn’t instinct kick in and you protect your own offspring and love them without condition? I read something to the effect of: be the parent you needed as a child. Amen. Again, it is that simple.

I guess none of it matters. I am not playing the blame game—that yields nothing positive, no positive outcomes arise by doing that. …but I will never understand. …and my scars are So. Very. Deep.

____

[See also: dating the Bad Man in 2021-2022 - X, from my hometown. Why did I go back to my hometown again? That is for a different analysis. He opened up my scar, tore into it. I thought, because he was my lifelong friend/comrade, he would protect me fron the storm. He was the storm. Some of this intense ache I feel right now—I am sure seeing him at M funeral did not help my current state.]

____

I am spiritual without being religious. For me, it all makes sense this way. God is all around us, within us. God is Nature, the sunrise, the sunset. God is LOVE. 

Be kind. Be the good. 

Energy is neither created nor destroyed; it is merely transformed. Our souls live on—in who knows what capacity—but we do not have to fear death. 

….as I lie here wondering when my physical body and brain will want to cooperate again. I’m trying, but also need to not be so hard on myself. I am my own worst critic.

Yet, I have love and support all around me. I have (and have had my whole life) the BEST friends (along with a lot of their parents, and of course my cousins). They are the reason I flourished at all.  They were my anchors, and I also had my own strength. I might want to give myself more credit.

I have a caring fiancé who is trying his best to understand, be patient and support me and my son in all the ways. I see the way he is trying so hard with his boys—I love that so much. Yes, we’ve had our struggles trying to learn how to successfully communicate and co-habitate. We are both willing to learn and be better, though. 

My psych NP (she is awesome) is having me see a brainspotting specialist. I know there is a better mind-body place for me ahead. I just have to honor what my body was / is trying to tell me. Slow. Down. Ctrl-Alt-Delete. Hard reset. …and most importantly, I have to do the work.

I have all the tools. I have done extensive research, extensive therapy, but sometimes none of it works. My psych said that we need to actually heal this vs put more bandaids on it. That makes sense. I start with a brainspotting specialist next week.

“The Body Keeps the Score” is one of the best books I have ever read, along with “Non-Violent Communication”. I need to read the second book again, although it is somewhat non-sequitur to this didactic.

Ohhhhhh, and throw in an overdose of “mental pause”/ menopause into this cauldron—let’s just spice it up a bit. <my humor is intact, at least…>

____
2010:

My parents became very interested in having more of a relationship with me when I got pregnant. My first thought was: “fresh meat”. My then-husband and I wrote them an email at one point, simply stating that their relationship with our son was reliant upon them not ever trying to influence him from a religious standpoint.

They attend one or two of his games per year. My dad tries to attend the sports stuff more often.

____
Ten days ago:

When my mom said, this past weekend at my son’s game, “I’ll always have hope!”— she was not referencing me, but it had that same JW-y tone as when she has said that to me in the past. I think that was the exact point when my body and mind gave up, went south, started to freeze up yet again—I went over the edge and didn’t realize it in the moment. Flop trauma response.

At said game, I made the mistake of mentioning that I had a long week, that a classmate died. My mom, with an overly-concerned tone: “Ohhh-who?!” I stared at the football game on the tv in the lobby as I said  twice, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Then she said, with no time in between, “Do you remember [insert name] from The Congregation? He just died, too.” I maintained my composure, because that’s what I do. My insides were screaming, though.

H*berm*n podcast dated September 2024:  children who have experienced lasting trauma (studies show) engage in much less free play.

= robbed of joy, robbed of the ability to be carefree. <<my opinion.

Thought:

Do my parents ever see that, out of their 3 kids, I am the only one (and only non-JW)that is not still, to this day, dependent on them? Do they ever make that correlation?

If my parents ever read this: I love you, I forgive you, but I have to finally fix the damage. Only I can do that. I am not sure what that means for our already tenuous relationship.

____
To my Son (someday you might read this—I don’t know):

You are the greatest gift ever. Your light is contagious; I am a better person by simply being in your presence. Your energy is smart, motivated, determined, kind (oh, so kind), cheerful and happy. You are the best parts of your dad and me. Thank you for being you, for being yourself without any thought of apology,  for your quiet “old soul” understanding of things around you. Thank you for making parenting easy. I love you more than ice cream and pizza —times infinity. You are my SONshine. Someday, when I am not here, always know that I am still all around. My grandmother’s guardian angel prayer: read it. I am always here for you, and I always will be.

When I referenced your sporting events above, it was meant to paint the picture of just how overwhelmed I currently am. I support your athleticism and dedication. I do think that a little more balance in our lives would be a good thing, but I also understand that YOU want to do All The Things. As long as I don’t see it having any detrimental affect on you, I will continue to support it.

…and Finally:

Please  know that I am imperfect, but I am trying to be the best parent I can be. I want your world to feel safe, I want you to know that you are loved without condition, and wherever you are,  wherever you go, whoever you become, Honey—you belong.

Here we go again! Another midweek meeting that emphasizes unwavering reliance on Jehovah, the promise of divine blessings, and the belief that true happiness is found only within the organization. It's a broken record! We are encouraged to view the hope in Jehovah as absolute, reject the selfishness of the world, and accept counsel unquestioningly. Back to themes of obedience, separation from non-Witnesses, and submission to authority.

The meeting presents Jehovah as the sole source of happiness and security, contrasting the Witness lifestyle with the alleged misery of the outside world. Prosperity under divine rule is highlighted, using Israel’s past as an example of God’s faithfulness. The discussion on animals briefly touches on humane treatment but ultimately serves to reinforce the idea that Jehovah controls all aspects of creation. The emphasis on happiness within the organization subtly pressures us to suppress doubts and concerns, while the portrayal of non-Witnesses as selfish and unfulfilled reinforces isolation from outside influences. Let's break down some of the claims made:

Claim 1: Jehovah blesses those who rely on him (Psalm 144:11-15)

"May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, and our daughters like corner pillars, cut for the building of a palace. May our barns be filled with produce of every kind; may our sheep increase by thousands, by tens of thousands in our fields, and may our cattle be heavy with young. May there be no breach in the walls, no exile, and no cry of distress in our streets. Happy are the people to whom such blessings fall; happy are the people whose God is the Lord." — Psalm 144:12-15

This passage paints a picture of divine blessings as a guarantee of prosperity and security. But history tells another story. Faith does not ensure wealth, health, or safety. Many who trust in God still suffer poverty, illness, and persecution, no different from those without belief. Hard times fall on the devout and the doubter alike.

Happiness is not bound to religion. Psychology points to relationships, purpose, and mental well-being as the true anchors of a fulfilling life. Belief alone does not fill empty stomachs or cure disease. The prosperity in this psalm is not a promise—it’s a hope, a vision of what could be, not what is.

Scholars see it the same way. The New Oxford Annotated Bible calls these verses an idealized dream of Israel’s prosperity, not a contract between God and his people. The Jewish Annotated New Testament adds that such blessings were always conditional, and history shows they often went unfulfilled. Israel struggled, just like any other nation. Faith was no shield against hardship then, and it isn’t now.

Claim 2: Our hope in Jehovah brings lasting happiness (Psalm 146:5-6)

"Happy are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them; who keeps faith forever." — Psalm 146:5-6

Hope can steady a man, but blind hope ties his hands. When faith is the only road to happiness, doubt becomes a curse. The lesson is clear—don’t question, don’t hesitate, don’t think too hard. But what happens when life falls apart, and prayers go unanswered? This teaching forces believers to silence their doubts, to ignore contradictions, to pretend questions aren’t gnawing at the edges of their minds. Hope is a crutch, a comfort, but not proof of divine favor. People find joy in love, in purpose, in building something real—without needing a god to grant them permission to be happy. Scholars note that these verses come from a time of desperation, a people grasping for security in a world that offered none. They were longing for help, not receiving it. Hope is good, but false hope is a prison.

Claim 3: Those who reject Jehovah are selfish and cannot be truly happy (Psalm 146:10)

"The Lord will reign forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the Lord!" — Psalm 146:10

This claim paints a picture of happiness as something only the faithful can have. Step outside the faith, and you’re doomed to misery—that’s the message. But it isn’t true. Plenty of people live full, meaningful lives without believing in Jehovah or any god at all. This isn’t about truth. It’s about control. Keep them inside, make them afraid to leave, convince them that walking away means losing everything.

But we push back! Studies show that happiness isn’t about religion—it’s about stability, relationships, and purpose. Money helps. Love helps. Finding meaning in your own way helps. The idea that non-believers live in despair is a lie, designed to make the faithful fear the world beyond their bubble.

Scholars see through it too. The New Oxford Annotated Bible doesn’t even treat this passage as a statement about happiness. It’s about divine rule, not personal fulfillment. The message is clear: serve Jehovah or be miserable. But life isn’t that simple. Happiness isn’t locked inside a Kingdom Hall. It’s out in the world, waiting for those willing to step forward and claim it.

Manipulative and Loaded Language

This meeting relies on loaded language to control perception and discourage independent thinking.

Phrases like “Jehovah’s people will be joyful forever” suggest that happiness is conditional upon staying in the organization.

“Satan’s world is coming to an end” invokes fear and urgency to deter questioning.

“True and lasting joy comes from doing God’s will” dismisses the possibility of joy outside of the faith.

Weasel Words and Phrases

"Happy is the one who has the God of Jacob as his helper." → This vague statement implies an exclusive path to joy while ignoring contrary experiences.

"Those who love Jehovah will be joyful forever!" → “Forever” is an unverifiable claim that demands faith without evidence.

"Jehovah blesses those who rely on him." → This implies that struggles mean a lack of faith, leading to guilt.

Logical Fallacies

False Dilemma: Either serve Jehovah and be happy or reject him and be miserable.

Circular Reasoning: Jehovah’s people are happy because Jehovah blesses them.

Appeal to Fear: The world is evil and selfish, so staying with Jehovah is the only way to avoid destruction.

Problematic Passages in Psalms 144-146

Psalm 144:1 declares, “Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.” This verse glorifies warfare and divine intervention in battle, raising ethical concerns. The New Oxford Annotated Bible notes that this psalm is a royal hymn, tying military success to divine favor, a theme common in ancient cultures. Yet, Christianity often emphasizes peace, making the image of God as a warrior seem contradictory.

Psalm 145:9 "The Lord is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made." If God is truly good to all, why does suffering exist? Why does injustice persist? The Jewish Annotated New Testament notes that this reflects theological optimism but does not erase the reality of pain. If divine goodness is universal, why do bad things happen to faithful believers? Why does faith not shield them? The verse offers a claim, but the world tells another story.

Psalm 146:3 - "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortals, in whom there is no help." A warning against human leadership, pushing faith over practical governance. The New Oxford Annotated Bible notes this reflects ancient Israel’s distrust of foreign rulers, not a universal truth. But history tells another story. Human progress comes from cooperation, from leaders who act, from hands that build. Not from waiting.

Closing thoughts:

Faith can be a compass, but it shouldn’t be a chain. They tell you joy comes from obedience. That hardship means you need to pray harder. That outside the walls, there is only misery. But happiness doesn’t come from submission. It comes from choice. From love. From freedom.

You don’t need permission to be happy. You don’t need their approval to live.

If this spoke to you, upvote so others see it too. And let's keep sucking out the poison of WT indoctrination. Follow for more if this resonates and helps in your deconstructing!

Are anyone else in the same situatoon? We, a never JW step mom an Pomo dad are trying to raise my husband daughter at least 50 % out of the sect. We see a lot of love bombing from the mom and the JW community. This is really hard to fight since we want to be responsible parents who foster individuality and responsibility and first and foremost liberal values.

Are there anyone else in the same situation; maybe you went Pomo and your wife wasn’t having it and stayed Pomo. What happened to the kids? How do you coparent with someone inside the sect?

Are there videos of presentations by women or scripts I could read? It's been a long time and I've lost that JW nuttiness so I need a refresher.

Also if you could share your most ridiculous JW dating stories (the more awkward the better) I'd love it. Thanks.

My wife became a witness again three years ago after being disfellowshipped at the age of 21 when we first met. At that time, I was not a witness, and this created a gap between her family and our relationship. We have been happily married for 23 years, but her father’s disapproval meant he wouldn’t talk to her for a long time. To reconnect with her family, she chose to return to the Kingdom Hall, hoping to improve her relationship with her parents.

In September 2024, we moved to another state to be closer to her mother, especially after her father passed away over a year ago. Now, it's just my wife, her mother, and me. Although my wife seeks to restore family ties, we are facing serious issues in our marriage. I want to understand her beliefs and support her journey, which is why I reached out to the Elders for guidance. Sadly, they only want to talk to her, leaving me feeling left out and unsure of how to help.

While I respect her choice to seek advice from Elders, I see that her connection with her mother has grown too strong, leading to advice that isn’t healthy for our marriage. My wife seems influenced by what others are suggesting, which raises concerns that she may lean towards separation. We also have a nine-year-old child who has always celebrated holidays with me and my family, and I worry about how this situation will impact our child. It’s challenging trying to navigate these different beliefs and ensure a loving environment for our child amidst the tension.

666 views on a video welcoming exjws is truly peak. Don’t tell the governing body 👀

hi! so i want absolutely nothing to do with this cult anymore but im finding it hard to actually get disfellowshipped because of my family. So today i had my first committee today, me and my boyfriend are both 19 but only in baptised and he’s an unbaptised publisher and we ended up having sex (surprise surprise 2 teenagers had sex!) but this one elder was asking really weird questions about it. so i’m wondering if they’re normally allowed to ask these things? he was asking if he was penetrating hard or if he ended up climaxing inside of me. i found it extremely uncomfortable and i’ve never felt so uneasy in my life. so are these normal questions to ask?

After almost a year I finally told the first person I know that I’ve woken up! They are on the other side of the world and full POMO but still nerve wracking.

This is to encourage you who are in my situation. It’s an unnecessarily slow process but you can do this!!

The signatures are all coming from here the percentage is high compared to all the other social media platforms. It makes sense. The petition is accurate. Please let me

So on Saturday I moved out from my parents, it's been a around 10 days since I was Dfd. I have a place with friends looking over the docks of my local city.

I miss my parents, whilst life wasn't easy all the time living with them I do miss their company. Currently sat in the front room of my flat by myself, it's when I miss them the most.

But ultimately I'm so much better, I'm sleeping again. When I lived with my parents I averaged 5-6 hours sleep. The last 2 nights it's near 9. I'm eating again, 2 meals a day instead a 1 meal every 2 days.

Honestly this is a message for all those scared to move on, being realistic you do lose things, but overall it's a win. The further from the cult you get the better your life will be.

Ever since I’ve been out of this religion, I’ve been trying to figure out all ways to make Jehovah sad

What I do now is pretend that I am an active Jehovah witness, while indulging in very unclean activities .

Every escort/stripper that I see, I tell him that I’m a Jehovah’s Witnesses. I sold them the website and I even do a field service presentation just to make it more real and legit.

Don’t worry where I’m at it’s legal.

And right before I indulge in the adult behavior, I hand them a watchtower and showed them the website just to make them look even worse.

I don’t care what you call me. You can call me a crash out, an asshole or whatever but man it feels so fucking good to finally be able to do this.

“That’s what you get for ruining my childhood and my family you stinky god Jehoober”

I also bought some more marijuana the other day and I’m thinking of rolling them using raw cone tips and watchtower magazines.

Ehhh they have an international scheduled for this summer and our hall is hosting the international Convention. Everyone seems to think this is some sort of a lalapaloza of religious events. I’ve been asked to be an attendant and I can’t stand even being there acting like I give a shit. Dear god the amount of money people are pouring down the drain instead of taking a real vacation. Seriously this is a mind trick on the youth that they think they are partaking in some world changing event. Makes me sick. 🤢 I wonder how much more revenue is generated from one of these versus a normal convention. “Follow the money” 💰 💰..