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anyone have any recommendations for adult inpatients/residentials in the new england area that do ng tubes and treat anorexia and arfid. struggling so much w an awful appetite on top of everything else and iop isn’t cutting it

So I'm a 29 years old 5'4" female that is 267.9lbs and I've been binge eating for almost 6 years now. Every so often I talk to my mom she keeps bringing up that I'm eating to much and that I need to get help. I'm going through alot more things then just binge eating in my life. I can't stand hearing people say that I'm eating to much. It makes me feel like that they're calling me fat everytime. 😢💔

I feel like this part of my life should be over by now. I’ve always struggled with food, but it’s never been like this before. It’s always been on the binge eating or bulimic side, never this. And I’m not trying to force it into place like I did as a teenager, I’m not trying to starve, I genuinely just don’t want to eat. But everything else, the depression, self-disgust, obsessive calorie counting, constant thoughts of how big my body is, it’s all still there. I thought those part will would have been resolved by now.

But instead it’s Thursday evening and I haven’t eaten more than a bagel since Monday. I’ve lost 14lbs in the last 3 weeks. It’s starting to spook me.

I know people say you need to acknowledge that you have a problem in order to get better. but is this actually true? Ever since i started acknowledging that i have an eating disorder it got so much worse. when i didnt think about hving an eating disorder i felt like i was actually normal. i didnt think abt food 24/7. i started telling myself i had an eating disorder two years ago and in this time my life has decayed. i am internally the worst ive ever been in my life other than being in a relationship with my abusive ex but that was emotion caused by him not truly internal. I think it's because i gained weight. when i was really skinny i was happier so it didnt feel like i was doing bad.

(its likely i used to be anorexic and then i started having binge eating problems , leading to bulemia. i gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time. I might have started thinking i had an eating disorder when i gained weight bc i feel fat but when i was very skinny i didnt think i had a problem?)

anyway does anyone else feel like this? Tht acknowledging having an eating disorder makes it worse? If i stop telling myself i have one will it go away???

Chat, whats wrong with me? TW: mention of food aversion and numerical weight I cant ever eat, in the rare even that I do get hungry, I start filling up after approximately two bites of food. I have to REALLY power through feeling intensely full to eat even close to a regular persons small serving and I never ever finish a meal. it sounds like ARFID symptoms at times, however it is not due to any texture or consistency aversion. I’m not exactly a picky eater… I don’t love a lot of things but I’ll always try new foods and I’m not that easily grossed out. i just hate eating. I’ve lost weight and gained it back and then lost it countless times over from trying to fight this. When I was younger (14-15) I had intentional anorexia due to my struggles with body image where I ate extremely limited quantities for a long time, however the intentional side of this ended before I turned 16. Now at 20, I’ve done everything I could for years to try to regain an appetite and weight, and occasionally Ive had a little success, but most of the time I feel like I’m two missed meals away from needing a feeding tube. PLEASE if anyone has experience with this or knows what this might be, please share ur thoughts. I’ve looked all over for similar experiences or symptoms but it seems to be uncommon.

Im looking for advice/tips/other experiences, anything. Here's my story: I'd always been naturally thin no issues. TW NUMBERS (5"3.5, 103 at 12 years. 5"1 ish & 90ish at 10/11) Then, at 12, I lost about 20 lbs in 1-3 months & was immediately hospitalized. Been in recovery ever since. Im doing VERY well with food, emotions, etc, BUT I still do not have my period!!! (I had my period when I was 12 btw) Im now TW ~120 & apparently shorter now 🙄(5"3) but NO period!!! Any advice on how to get it back? Im concerned for my development(i just turned 15 & haven't developed) and worried that i might have broken my body. does anyone have any advice, tips, or anything? Im pretty desperate 😞 Sending love to all you wonderful people ♥️♥️

Hello guys
I feel extremely helpless my sister who is 18 years old has been in a super toxic relationship with someone who has lied,cheated,abused her for over a year. She finally let go but it was a hard process. For the last 6 months she has been throwing up in cycles. First we thought it was something physical and checked her blood and other factors however everything came back normal. She continued to vommit for a week and stopped. We thought it was a one time thing however we were so wrong for a period of 6 months she continued to throw up on and off. At this time she was breaking up from the super toxic boyfriend, and she kept blaming us for this breakup. We believe sometimes she would trigger the vomitting cycles herself as her boyfriend owned the hospital we were going to and I believe she may have thought that if she seems bad and in a sick condition he wouldn’t break up with her because he would basically manipulate him to stay because she got sick. This went on for a while but now they really called it quits. He off with other women. But my sister is in a horrible state, she’s lost so much weight that it’s now all bone. We are so afraid for her she dosent eat for days,she dosent speak to us, she sleeps all day in her room and wakes up in between to vommit, she keeps telling me that she feels nauseous and then she chugs a lot of water to throw up and says it relives her however this can’t go on any longer as I am so scared for her life. We wanted to hospitalize her today but we got super scared as we still can’t accept the fact that she might have an Eating Disorder. What should we do??? Please help us we are super hopeless and have no clue how to deal with this.

I am in recovery for BN (restricting all day, bingeing at night and laxative abuse). Despite the ED behaviors, I have always been at a healthy weight, before and during recovery. In recovery, I’ve significantly reduced laxative use to 2 senna/day (from 20+) and I’m eating 3 meals and 2 snacks throughout the day.

While I’ve made great progress in recovery over the last year, I’ve gained a significant amount in one month due to increasing intake and I’m struggling with bloating and overall feeling too large in my body, especially since my clothes aren’t fitting. My dietitian is encouraging me to swap bloating foods such as lentils, cauliflower, chickpeas, etc. with ‘easier to digest’ foods like white rice, regular pasta (not legume varieties), and white/red potatoes. She thinks this will reduce bloating and help with the discomfort and overall discontent with my body.

However, I’m really struggling to make these swaps because I don’t see the nutritional value of foods such as potatoes and white rice. I have a science background in nutrition and as a result, feel biased towards nutrient-dense foods instead of simple carbs. However, I’m really struggling to make these swaps because I don’t see the nutritional value of foods such as potatoes and white rice. I have a science background in nutrition and as a result, feel biased towards nutrient-dense foods instead of simple carbs. I don’t know which thoughts are the ED talking and which are valid skepticism about eating nutrient-lacking foods. Can anyone help me rationalize making these dietary swaps? Anyone struggling with the same issue?

I've had a multitude of different eds since I was 14 and I'm now 20, at this point they have ruined a quarter of my life. Now in my 20s I'm trying to study for a degree but my mental health is horrible and I cannot eat properly - at the moment it's too much. I go through cycles of gaining and losing. It's destroying my body, my mind and my life. I don't know what to do I this point. I've had professional help in the past but it never seems to work/stick. I'm worried I'm ruined for life. I do things I told myself I'd never do because they're bad for me but I just don't care anymore and I have to try to act sane, so that people believe it. I know I can't give up, but I don't know how to fix it, I don't know if I'll ever be ok - really.

Context: I developed anorexia when I was 13, by 15 I was fine thanks to rehab, but at 20 I relapsed and never fully recovered. I'm 26 now, I eat enough to have energy to do my job. Mostly carbs and sugars, which makes me skinny fat. I'm not extremely thin, I would say I'm okay and actually I want to loose 5 kilos, but...

I had a photoshoot today after years and when the photographer posted the little reel we made to promote the next photos, I totally freaked out, my face looks so damn skinny like I have no chubby cheeks... Well I have no fat at all on my face, I just looked at myself and thought I looked so sick, I got scared and thought I should eat more, so after the photoshoot I got myself a burger but couldn't bring myself to finish it because I don't want to put on weight but I do feel like I need to.

I'm in a hole, idk what to do

I’ve struggled with my image for a long time. I developed an Ed and for about 6 months got deeply into it. I chose recovery and eat but I am 168 and 6’2. I thought losing weight would make me happier and it actually destroyed me even more. I miss my old self, and especially hate the fact that numbers control my life so much. I’m eating a healthy amount now, but sometimes i redownload apps to count how much I ate in the day. I just found myself doing it and am happy that I’m eating under what I thought I had today, but this still is an unhealthy mindset that I need advice for getting out of. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I miss being able to love people around me but I can’t because I’m always so focused on this. It consumes me at all times, how do I recover? Fully this time?

Please delete if not allowed, I just dont know where to turn to and I'm feeling kind of scared and backed into a corner. I have major digestive issues from decades of untreated endometriosis. Now I cant eat anything without being extremely ill. It's made me afraid of food. No one understands or listens and I'm just like. I don't know. I'm lost.

Hi, my name is Maddie and I'm a student journalist at Emerson College in Boston. For one of my journalism classes this semester, I'm working on a reporting project about the increase in eating disorders during the COVID-19 pandemic. I'm looking to speak with people who have struggled with disordered eating to learn about how the pandemic had an impact on this experience. If you have experienced an eating disorder of any sort during or after the pandemic, and if you might be willing to share your experience with me for this story, please reach out to me at maddiekhaw@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you. Thank you!!

4 months ago I slipped back into ED habits that had been laying dormant for 10 years. I was down 32lbs when my husband confronted me about looking sick. I broke down and admitted what was going on. I promised to do better.

I had been restricting, purging, and abusing laxatives. I committed to stopping the last two, and working on stopping restricting slowly. I promised to eat one full, nourishing meal a day to start.

Naturally this made me bloated. A week in, my husband says "It's nice to see you gaining weight. Your body is probably clinging to everything you give it."

Queue internal meltdown because those are all the wrong words. I know he meant well, but my brain didn't take it that way. I didn't eat at all yesterday. Weighed myself for the first time in a week. Turns out I've only gained 1lb. Turns out 1lb is all it takes to notice I've gained weight. 1lb, really? Welcome to spiraltown, population: me.

I'd like to find out what motivates people with eating disorders - what made you sick, and if it relates to following beauty standards because this is the topic of my academic research. I used to have anorexia myself and I would like to get a broader picture of other perspectives :)

so i was thinking about making a gc on insta for us to talk about anything ed related honestly. i need friends and people to talk to who also have an ed but i dont want people irl knowing about it . if you wanna join dm me your ig and ill add you asap!!

I feel lost explaining to people that my guilt around food isn't just to do with when I'm not eating "healthy", people keep saying if you feel guilty just eat (insert healthy food here).

Its not about if the foods healthier or not I just feel a deep weird sense of guilt for ever eating anything.

after several years of suffering with this ED I finally told my doctor that I have an eating disorder and that I really need help but the clinic (not the same clinic where my doctor work) that treats eating disorders does not want me as a patient because I have "too complex medical conditions." (I'm also depressed and burnt out.) Im too sick to get the help I need.

at least I tried to get help but now I actually dont know what to do. I guess this is my destiny

Hey everyone,

I’m feeling really scared and uncertain about what’s happening to me.

I’m in my 40s, and I’ve struggled with major depressive disorder, treatment-resistant, for nearly 30 years. Over the past year, things have worsened in ways I didn’t expect. About a year ago, we had to move when our landlord didn’t renew our lease, and it was a difficult adjustment. My wife and I were already getting by on limited income, relying on my Social Security disability. I can’t work due to severe depression and chronic pain, and despite my efforts to stabilize, I keep ending up in the same place—or worse.

Since the move, I’ve been experiencing significant weight loss. I don’t have an appetite, and I feel like I’m watching myself physically fade away. The changes are so noticeable that I can’t ignore them, and they’re starting to concern others as well. It’s frightening to feel this lack of control over my own body, especially when my reflection now feels like a reminder of how much I’m struggling inside.

As a musician, creating used to be an outlet for me—a way to express emotions that words couldn’t capture. But now, depression tells me, “What’s the point?” Even activities I know are helpful feel distant and hard to reach in this state. The emptiness and hopelessness are overwhelming, and the weight loss has become a visible marker of my inner struggle.

Recently, I started a low-dose ketamine treatment, which has been a small glimmer of hope. I’ve tried nearly every antidepressant, and therapy used to help when I had a therapist who understood me. Unfortunately, he’s no longer available, and my new therapist hasn’t been able to provide the same guidance—it feels more like venting without direction. I also had some struggles with my current clinic, where a nurse practitioner dismissed my long-standing medications without much consideration.

When my wife found out about the ketamine treatment, things became difficult. She’s in recovery, so it’s hard for her to see ketamine as anything but a “recreational drug.” I didn’t tell her initially because I anticipated her reaction and because finances are tight. I’ve cut out all non-essential spending to afford this treatment, but she still sees it as selfish.

I understand her concerns, but I’m desperate to find something that works. I feel like I’m running out of options. The physical changes are terrifying, and every time I look in the mirror, I feel like I’m watching myself disappear. For me, this isn’t about “drugs” or money—it’s about trying to survive and find some stability. I feel like I’m drowning, and her support would mean so much.

I don’t have anyone else to lean on, and I think she doesn’t realize how much I depend on her. I’m also wondering if anyone else has gone through similar experiences with unintentional weight loss and a lack of appetite while dealing with depression. I’m feeling lost and just trying to find a way out of this.

If anyone has been through something similar or just wants to offer some words of support, I’d be so grateful. Right now, I really need to hear something positive and hopeful.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and can offer some support or insight.

Do healthy people really poop every day? It was something I never thought about while I was in the throngs of my Ed. No that I’m doing good in recovery it’s kinda something silly I think about.

TW: talk of eating disorders

im 5’3 and about 143 pounds, i dont exactly look fat compared to other people but i feel so big in the mirror but i dont think this about anyone else only myself. all i want is to be skinny and to lose my body fat and tbh i will one day cause that is truly my goal. but i’ve developed such bad food problems on the way to reaching this goal, i go through this cycle: eating healthy, binging, starving (only lasting a day cause i get so hungry), binging and for the first time ever yesterday, throwing up. i know the risks i know its bad but i cant stop and i only feel guilt, i wanna throw it up again but so far ive stopped myself but im sick of this cycle, im sick of feeling ugly. i have depression and i’ve struggled with self harm for over a year now, i dont want an eating disorder on top of that and i dont think i have one but i can feel myself heading down that path.

i told my friend that im bulimic today. idk what kind of response i was looking for. maybe im just looking for someone to save me and im upset she didnt. i feel like ive been admitting it lately to a couple of people. i thought saying it out loud that i have an eating disorder would jump start my healing. like it would change something. but i find myself just drowning deeper. like admitting it is me being a failure. like i shouldnt have an eating disorder and i shouldn't tell myself that i do. maybe if i tell myself i dont itll go away.

i am drowning. i am ruining my body and my mind and i dont know what to do anymore. my therapist isnt helping even tho i told her about it to. i repeat I TOLD MY THERAPIST and she is not even questioning me abt it like its a big deal. it feels like she brushed it off. i reached out for help and no one and nothing is helping so now what?????? what am i supposed to do. i want my power back i want my control back. why cant i just be normal why cant i eat something without feeling the need to binge and then the need to puke. or the need to starve myself. i know its me that just needs to take the step and change my habits but HOW DO I DO IT. do i literally just have to do it? is there no other answer?

I'm F 5"6 and 70kgs/155lbs. My bmi is 24.7 BUT I have brought my bmi up to my psychologist who promptly asked me to "please not look at the bmi scale because it's outdated and not made for people like us in our part of the world" (not their exact words but thats the point they were tryna make) and for further context I'm mixed race from Africa to say the most by saying the least. The bmi scale says I'm overweight... But my psychologist is right, that scale dosent really take into consideration people who have my body type for example, I have very thick bones thus I'm big built so my literal skeleton I already know weighs a lot. But I am also visibly "curvier" (fatter) than other girls my age on top of being big built so I'm just like am I actully over weight/obese? Or am I just big built and curvy but actually at a healthy weight? Idk but I do know that I hate the way I look and want to be skinny regardless of any facts but that's a different problem...

Hey, i was wondering could someone help me with my eating disorder. I cannot eat regularly because i am afraid eating in public and eating before i go in university. I had anorexia and bulimia, but I think now i have some type of bulimia because I don't eat enough throughout the week because i am afraid eating too much when I go somewhere (i know it's stupid), I have one little too big meal a day, and then one day in a week I binge a lot, then next day after a binge I don't eat anything, also i workout a lot ehrn i binge like running or on elliptical for 70min. What should i do to overcome that fear of eating when i go somewhere and to eat regularly to avoid that binge eating? Thankss

I (21M) have always had problems eating, since I was a little kid I was so disgusted by breakfast that I vomited just by looking at food in the mornings, because of this I spent all of elementary school not eating breakfast. When I got to high school I didn't feel that way anymore and I could eat anything in the morning and I generally enjoyed food more but since then I have an addiction to junk food Now that I'm in college I don't eat anything until my hunger organs hurt and I usually only have one meal all day, sometimes I don't eat anything for a whole day. I didn't really think it was a problem until my schoolmates told me I eat really bad and my body looks very fragile. I've been trying to eat more during the day but it's kind of hard because I'm so busy that I just forget. Is there anything I can do to eat more often? I went to a nutritionist last year and he told me that if I want to gain weight I have to eat 5 times a day but I don't know how to do it because food is increasingly expensive in my country and I don't have time to cook for myself.

I’m anorexic and have been relapsing but always said if I binge just throw it up. This is my third time in two days purging. I can’t stop. I wanna cry. I didn’t even get everything up so I have to burn it off now. I’m so tired of being so obbessed with food but I can’t stop. I have a therpaist and I’m starting Wellbutrin on Sunday. I hate this feeling. I hate how I look. None of my friends would help except maybe two. I’m gonna try talking to them.