/r/DrunkOrAKid

Photograph via snooOG

This subreddit is for stories of the greatest stupidity. Inspired by How I Met Your Mother, this subreddit was created for the purpose of hearing amusing stories and having other try to guess if you were drunk or a kid.

This subreddit is for stories of the greatest stupidity. Inspired by How I Met Your Mother, this subreddit was created for the purpose of hearing amusing stories and having other try to guess if you were drunk or a kid.

Rules

  1. Try to shorten your story so that it will fit in the headline. I am not, however, going to create any rules that state that you can't go more in-depth in your post. If you have a great story that fits what this subreddit is all about, share it, that's what we're all here for in the first place.

  2. You no longer need to comment with drunk and kid yourself. Bots will do it for you.

  3. Please include the correct answer in your post. Hide your answers using the following syntax: >!Answer!<. There should be NO SPACE between the ! and your text. It will show up like this: Answer. It's a good idea to put your answer in a sentence so it's not immediately obvious by its length. For example, "kid" is a lot more obvious than "I was a kid when this happened"

  4. Comments that contain or reference the answer should also include a spoiler tag

>! No >!Yes

/r/DrunkOrAKid

135,709 Subscribers

74

Got the bright idea to tie up a nearby chucky doll to scare off potential intruders with my big sister. Got so scared we both refused to enter the room with chucky for the rest of the night

!I was high, but according to a moderators comment it counts. i was 19 years old with my 21yr old sister and i had the doll since i was 16. we figured if the intruders were scared of us they'd run away so we tied chucky up on the bathroom shower rod. we didn't pee for the rest of the night!<

3 Comments
2024/08/20
21:26 UTC

11

Are you allowed to post stories about being under the influence of other substances?

Anything from anesthesia to recreational drugs, but just stories where you’re not drunk. If this post isn’t allowed, I’ll remove it, but I’m just curious. TIA!

5 Comments
2024/06/25
04:35 UTC

94

I saw a girl behind a fence came over and told her that I gonna climb over the fence and kick her ass

I was >!5, my mom took me away instantly and told that we should go or her dad would come and kick my ass!<

4 Comments
2024/06/22
00:09 UTC

99

I puked all over my best friend’s Geandma

I was at a party and was involved in too much merriment. Went to sit down on a couch to rest, and didn’t realize there was an older lady sat there. The shock and previous merriment made me throw up all over her. I found out later it was my friend’s Grandma.

!I was 9 and the merriment was tons of purple soda and a bouncy house. Not a good combo. Basically ruined that old lady’s sweater, which was a pale color before, but bright pink after I spewed all over it!<

6 Comments
2024/05/22
04:43 UTC

122

I covered a hot dog bun in frosting because I wanted a donut

I >!was a kid, and actually my mom saw me eating it and thought it was unfair that I had one and my brother didn’t and she went out and bought him one!<

11 Comments
2024/02/04
17:40 UTC

77

my friend and I walked around a park in our underwear

I was >!Drunk. We were 15 (unless you count 13-17 as a child).!<

edited to change length to avoid people guessing early

6 Comments
2023/06/27
03:53 UTC

87

I was going down this ice covered slope on a snow racer really fast.

If I didn't make a sharp turn and steer away from the neighbors house I would most definitely crash into it. I went like three times.

But the fourth time I decided to close my eyes and just don't make that sharp turn. Just to see what would happen.

I got a black eye.

!Whydoesntthiswork

!Iwas5!<

12 Comments
2023/06/09
20:55 UTC

206

had to be driven home completely naked by my friend's parents

I was

!A kid who had eaten way too much while staying over at my friend's house for a little while after school and had threw up on his clothes. Since I had no backup clothes, I had to be driven home naked and quickly scrambled into my house's laundry room.!<

27 Comments
2023/06/08
16:19 UTC

194

I had a verbal argument with some, took off on my bike enraged, I saw a motorcycle speeding towards me, I veer left, fell into a water body, I thought I was drowning, panicked and was screaming but then I finally stood up to realise the water was only till my waist height.

I was >!8 years old when I had an argument with my mom when she asked me to do my homework. The water body was a paddy field so it was very low in water. I screamed and cried and some passing driver stopped and picked me out.!<

7 Comments
2023/05/24
10:49 UTC

228

Fell asleep in the shower, woke up 2 hours later still in the shower, went into the living room naked with the shower still running and knocked myself out with a game controller.

I was...

!A kid, about 8, and I discovered that day that I was basically a drunk child when tired.!<

For context, no one was home at that time.

12 Comments
2023/05/18
01:45 UTC

326

Got lost in the woods for hours. Was terrified. Came upon a farmhouse and sought shelter in its garage as night fell.

I was... >!A drunk 29 year old! Really really really drunk! I disappeared from a house party about 6 miles away and to this day nobody, including me, knows why.!<

11 Comments
2023/05/02
16:56 UTC

351

Accidentally Maced myself and a few friends because I mistook the can for air freshener and sprayed the entire room.

I was.... >!a kid! Ironically an eleven year old trying to cover up the adult activity of looking cool by smoking cigarettes with some pals.!<

20 Comments
2023/05/01
05:30 UTC

91

Got lost in the dark in my fairly small home's basement for two hours... sat down and cried cause I thought I was going to die there.

I wasssss..... >!32 years old!<!

12 Comments
2023/04/28
18:18 UTC

234

I went to the park, peed on a bench, then picked up a child and hugged him.

I was...

!Drunk (Technically tipsy). I was 14 and didn't read the label on a vodka soda while home alone!<

17 Comments
2023/04/28
17:01 UTC

38

Instigated a 20+ participant neighborhood pop pops fireworks war (louder version of snappers) that the police were called to check on for fear of a gang war.

Had to do two in a row. Too excited finding this sub. I'll reel it in... it's just... look... I have a 17 page google doc of these. You guys are basically the target audience of my autobiography.

As for the answer.... I was.... >!One of two drunk 33 year olds against a mob of equally armed children. Don't worry... the parents were watching... and dying of laughter at our demise.!<

4 Comments
2023/04/27
06:44 UTC

340

Blew my chance with a girl I'd been flirting with for months when fate walked her by the alley of my residence.... to witness me attempting a naked pogo sticking record.

Oh my god! A subreddit for a game my pals have been mining my plethora of shameful life stories for for years now!

And to answer your question... yes... "it" got pinched by the springs once... and yes... I got the record.

I was... >!In 6th grade!<

15 Comments
2023/04/27
06:12 UTC

49

Fell asleep while pooping, woke up, confused where I was. The smell made me throw up in my underwear. I panicked, tried to clean up the mess using toilet paper but ran out.

!drunk, actually was a good mate of mine who we never let live down this series of events!<

6 Comments
2023/04/15
19:59 UTC

385

Sat on the toilet and started peeing without taking off my underwear.

I was >!drunk!<

24 Comments
2023/04/15
18:54 UTC

176

Running around screaming ‘ boobies boobies boobies - I live boobies ! ‘ whilst naked infront of my parents

!A kid, 4 to be exact!<

7 Comments
2023/04/11
20:44 UTC

317

Holding onto a violin stand, shouting, ‘dildo!’ while cryinng.

!Both.!<

19 Comments
2023/04/11
06:52 UTC

216

Ran around in the house and split my head open on a door frame

!Kid ; I was 4 and extremely excited because a local newspaper made an article on my school and I was in the photo. Got 12 stitches, still have the scar.!<

8 Comments
2023/03/28
18:14 UTC

345

Got stuck in a public bathroom for 2 hours, cried on the ground, and then realized I was trying to open the locked maintenance closet.

!Kid, and it was at a charity ball 💀!<

10 Comments
2023/03/25
05:14 UTC

126

I was dancing at a wedding so close to the DJ booth that I hit my head on the speaker and bit through my bottom lip.

!I was a kid. Also got carried out by the groom who was wearing a white suit at the time, which got covered in my blood.!<

6 Comments
2023/03/24
19:07 UTC

300

We (three friends) ran around town pulling out weeds and plants and whipped each other. The game was geniusly called "whipping". We whipped so hard we had welts on our bodies.

!We were..... drunk. On a "Cultural Journey" to a different city where we mostly got drunk by "rock off for chop offs" (rock, paper,scissors and whoever lost had to buy and chug their drink).!< Good times were had.

7 Comments
2023/03/20
05:55 UTC

112

I was with my friend watching YouTube and I crawled away from her laughing, I had to be dragged back to the couch and my friend slapped me, which made me cry, then she said sorry stop crying and I did and we went back to watching YouTube.

12 Comments
2023/03/19
18:08 UTC

341

Got in the bath, got bored, got out of the bath, walked across the house naked, and sat in the floor doing origami until someone caught me.

!Kid, though I have no idea what age. My parents have a photo somewhere and are probably gonna use it to embarrass me someday.!<

8 Comments
2023/03/09
01:10 UTC

159

I was feeling weak, so I started to pray All Father (Odin) by chanting "All Father, Give me Strength"

!I was superdrunk, and after vomiting repeatedly, I sat beside the toilet and started to pray Odin!<

10 Comments
2023/03/06
15:50 UTC

176

Set a room on fire and scorched it to the ground because i was looking at a piece of paper, decided it shouldn't have corners, and set the corners on fire with a lighter

!I was an 8yo kid. It was actually my brother's room I set on fire and I was burning a birthday party invitation. I got the shit beat out of me too!<

20 Comments
2023/02/24
04:53 UTC

125

freaked out and ran away after seeing that the bushes had been trimmed while I was away

11 Comments
2023/02/20
22:28 UTC

212

Pissed in my cat's litter box because I was mad at my mom

!I was a kid!<

17 Comments
2023/01/04
00:50 UTC

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