I began to use the label Cupio before realizing that what I always wanted was a queerplatonic relationship with some sexual and romantic things

So basically, I recently became close friends with someone who started to identify as cupioromantic, but I think I’m starting to have a crush on them and I’m totally lost on what to do. I bonded with them after we discovered that we had the same interests and cartoon crushes during school and eventually started talking and calling outside of school not long after that. Later, we were yapping about romance and love and other kinds of things and he started talking about how he’s desperate for a relationship but doesn’t experience having a “crush”/romantic feelings for someone so I suggested he look up cupioromantic and he started to identify with it. Over time as we grew closer (which isnt as long as you think, about a week or two), and started texting and calling more, I think I developed some sort of “affection” for him. Obviously, I felt bad when I started noticing it because I know he would feel burdened about it.

 In honesty, I don’t completely feel like this is a crush but I have been treating it as one because I don’t necessarily know how to cope with it and started doing things that make me seem like I have a crush on him (thinking about him while hugging my pillow to sleep, wanting to spend more time with him, subtly flirting with him although not as much anymore, etc). It kinda hurts seeing him talk to me about how desperate he is for a relationship and how he wants to experience love and how “he’ll take anyone”, but then says that if he were to try dating someone it wouldn’t last. Also, more about me not knowing whether this is a crush or not, I recently broke up with my long-distance girlfriend of almost two years on good terms because she felt like we weren’t as close anymore. I don’t know if this is just me wanting to fill the void or if this is an actual crush. I think I fall in love too fast to be honest, I might need to research on that as well. 

 I don’t know what else to put here, but please give me advice on what to do!!!

I've been out as an Asexual Cupioromantic for about 4 months now and I have been desiring a romantic relationship the whole time but I don't know how to go about getting one. I'm not great about interacting with people in my day to day life and, even if I was, I don't know how to go about finding a partner in the crowcrowd of people I interact with day to day. But, online dating is not great and I feel like I can't form an actual connection with someone online when they are either not wanting someone who is completely turned off of intimacy or don't want to be with someone who won't feel actual love for them. I'm looking for advice on finding a life partner as an Asexual Cupio.

I want a traditional-ish romantic relationship and i want to experience romantic stuff (holding hands, cuddling, being very open to each other) but i don’t experience romantic attraction. Like i want a very romantic-esque qpr but no actual feelings.

I already knew i was aroace, but id start to consider aegoromantic but that one is liking the idea but not desiring it. I do desire a “romantic-esque” relationship but no actual romantic attraction. I also considered cupioromantic but thats about wanting a romantic relationship, which i do not. Please help me🙏🙏

The character Knightmare from the Webtoon Willow & the Family Ace is Cupio (Romantic/Sexual)!

🖤💜🤍🩷 🧡🤍💜🖤

Its happened several times where someone ive tried to be with says i love you and I struggle to say it back. But with my best friend i say it because its entirely platonic.

Yesterday someone ive known for a week ish and been talking to in "cute" way said they love me and i instantly was like "No no oh no help aaaaaa" and they have said it multiple times and its... I barely know them... Tho i have been doing i guess "romantic" things like cuddles and talking cute... So I guess i get it but... I don't feel it and it feels pressuring to say it back... So i just stay quiet... Aaaaaa...

i know this question probably gets asked a lot, I'm sorry in advance. this is a yap. something important to keep in mind is im neurodivergent, so my experiences may be because of that and I'm not cupio.

I've identified as a lesbian for two years now, and queer 3 years before. i know I'm asexual, and I'm pretty fine with that. but I've always had a weird relationship with romance. but i think I've known I'm aromantic for a long time and ive never wanted to admit it because i really adore the idea of being in love.

ive been in relationships, my most recent one lasting a year. it was good, genuinely. i would even say i was in love with her. but it doesn't feel right to call it romantic love. i truly loved her, but it wasn't different from how i love my friends, just that it was on a larger scale. Kissing kind of just felt like another way to show her how much i loved her, not something i felt desire to do, and only ever wanted to perform and not receive. I'm absolutely not against anything but it feels sort of weird i guess? not wrong but i always knew it wasn't quite correct either. i want to be in another relationship with someone i love. i really do.

As i said ive thought i was aromantic before this, years before, always pushed it aside, but now being cupio is something I'm truly actually questioning. i think i already know the answer. but i don't want to believe it. i think no matter the answer I'm probably going to keep calling myself a lesbian to everyone around me for a long time because i don't want to lose my chance at a connection i know i could have, just not in the same way as others. i know i can date someone and be happy, i have and i know i will. I don't know why it matters to me so much having this answer, when no self love is gonna come out of this. i will never be okay with this.

the reason im even here asking is because i feel like theres something im missing, something that means im allo. i could be totally off the mark, so please just give me your thoughts. as long or as short as you'd like. throw around as many explanations or ideas just please give me an outside perspective because no matter how much soul searching i do its so repressed i can't find an answer.

Hi so I was venting to a friend about my current struggles in my dating life and they told me I might be cupioro and I wanted some other opinions. I love the idea of romance, I love romance novels, stories, movies but something about me dating someone feels off. I’ve been asked out three times and each time I’ve felt horribly uncomfortable. I like the idea of a relationship but for some reason thinking about kissing someone or even holding hands makes me uncomfortable. I want a relationship so badly but I don’t seem to feel attraction. I just got asked out by a friend and because I don’t know how to say no to people, I agreed. Thinking about kissing them or cuddling with them makes me uncomfortable. I’ve had almost no crushes in my life and the two times I have they fell apart within about a month. Looking back I’m not sure if it was a crush or better described as an extreme fascination with someone. Do these things make me cupioromantic? How do you deal with wanting love but being unable to feel it?

As a Cupio I feel like dating sims are prime for us I figure this out playing balder gate 3 the romance was so good that it was one of my main reasons to play and finish the game and I want to play more dating sims

Y’all, something that’s pissing me off, I remember when I first realized I was lesbian and one thing that helped me a lot was being able to lesbian representation in almost any form, being able to enjoy and relate to it which made me so valid and happy but now recently I’ve started identifying as cupioromantic and there’s barely anything, I’ve scrolled through the same TikTok’s, the same YouTube vids, listened to the same music over and over because there’s just so little, it just makes me feel so empty, angry and sad all at the same time

If anybody has anything of the sorts, just dump it all here and share it with everyone!!!

I have had a few crushes in my life, mostly of the obsessive limerent variety. I don't believe I've ever really been genuinely in love with someone. But outside of those (which I can count on one hand, at age 30) I'm someone who "loves love" absolutely adores romance, indulges in the occasional romance novel, total sucker for shipping in any fandom I'm in, has romantic subplots in most of my original stories, but lost when it comes to actually experiencing it.

I've considered greyro and even lithoro too - the idea that I'm anything on the aro spectrum is unsettling to me for exactly this exactly because I admire romance so much.

I've had "crushes" on people but they are more like: I wanna hangout with you for the rest of my life and cuddle with, me and less of: go on a date with me. Also, when someone has a crush on me I just think; "huh..? You wanna like.. stay with me for the rest of my life??" And so like I don't rlly know what to do. Also when someone broke up with me I was more sad Abt growing apart from them and not at all the relationship thing.

Last year someone wanted to date me but I didn't know how to say no and I felt uncomfortable the whole 3 months the relationship was going on. Before that I always wanted a romantic relationship but now I'm disgusting by the whole idea of romance. I don't know if this i cupiromantic or something else (also sorry for my typing I'm exhausted)

so i’ve been in relationships and when im in them i enjoy telling people their my bf/gf and i enjoy the sexual aspects of the relationship but i don’t enjoy the idea that im in relationship with them itself. And also when i get crushes its not in a “i wanna date them” crush its a “i wanna kiss them” or sumthin crush..? it’s entirely possible there is another identity that fits this perfectly but i surprisingly don’t know it…

So, I can have like… “crushes” on people (though I’m not so sure if they’re actual crushes or if I’m just fantasizing about the idea of liking someone), but I can never actually imagine myself in a relationship with my “crushes”. If I even think of the actual thing, I get super uncomfortable and kind of disgusted (but I’m also not sure if it’s just cause of my problems with commitment). I’ve been considering the cupio label for a few months, but I’m not sure

I've been thinking I may be cupioromantic lately but I'm seriously not sure. I can fall in love with strangers or become attracted to them even if I know only a little about them, and I am able to fall in love with people I have a deep relationship with. But, I rarely truly fall in love with people, maybe only three times in my entire life. I really do want to be in a relationship though, and I love everything about love and romance.

I've identified as Cupioromantic for a couple months now and this keeps making me feel like I'm not good enough. I've always enjoyed the idea of a romantic relationship, but I've never liked a single person in particular. I have an idea in my mind of my perfect partner, but I feel like no person fits that mold I've created and anytime I've tried being with a regular human, I feel like a fraud, and I hate myself for not being able to love them back. Does anyone have any advice on keeping a relationship without feeling inferior or gaslighting myself out of a healthy relationship as I have done in the past?

I'm female and always had the idea that I would date a guy but recently im learning I'm just more comfortable with girls. All my friends are women or gay. I also just like femininity. So I'm curious having little to no attraction do y'all care about gender?

Hi! So im still a teenager (16yo) nd have been questioning whether im aromantic a lot recently, since ive known that being aromantic and wanting/craving romance is quite possible. I think that might be me, but i dont feel i should identify with the label yet since im still a teenager and it's quite possible i just haven't had a crush or anything yet and will develop romantic feelings in the future. is there like any way to test/know it for sure or will i just have to wait and see?

For my whole life I was sure that I am alloromantic. Till some days ago I came across a video that I really related to and thanks to a person in the comments found out about cupioromantisim. I really hope for some outside perspective here and maybe writing this out will help me understand myself better.

It never even crossed my thoughts that I was not alloromantic, because I always wanted a relationship and I thought aromantic people didn’t want relationships at all. Al this cuddling and kissing seems nice to me, but I guess the most important part of a relationship for me was the trust, enjoying the time together and being able to support each other.

I don't think I've ever had crushes, there were some people that I found pretty, but was I thinking about them outside of the time I saw them? If I remember correctly, never. Celebrity crushes? Don't think so, I may find some cool and I guess attractive but never thought about actually dating them, outside of a joke.

When I was around 8 I met this one boy we became good friends with really fast.(We both moved to a new country and went to a special class for kids that moved and we spoke the same language). First I was sure I liked him, but I guess that was just the consequences of adults making relationships look like something everyone needs to have. We've been bestfriends-couple(never officially started dating or called each other bf/gf but told each other that we loved the other person) for around 5-6 years (only had two cheek kisses and hugging). Some years ago he did something that kinda grossed me out(not physical) so I wrote him a whole paragraph out and we stopped talking. Yea, thats the closest thing to a relationship that I had.

Did I just not meet the right person yet or am I actually cupioromantic? I am only 15, and all of this finding out about my sexuality was confusing enough(first I thought I was bi but for the last years I consider myself a lesbian, maybe that also had to do with me not feeling rom. attraction so i thought since I don't like boys I am lesbian...) and now I have to question my romantic attraction as well...

I probably shouldn’t even question all of this, considering that I while I was talking to my bsf some time ago I told her "all this romantic love is overrated"...but I would like some outside perspective.

Also, if I am cupioromantic, can I just tell some people that I'm aromantic irl? For some understanding that term is going to be hard, and cupioromantic is sadly a really little known term.

I think I'm aromantic or arospec anyway. because I'm not sure I've ever had a crush..- most of my relationships have been online.

I also think that in elementary/middle school I was never interested in anyone.. I probably thought they were aesthetically cute, but I got over it and probably now I don't care. But I often find myself thinking "it would be nice to have a relationship with them" (for their appearance). Then it just goes away and I don't think about the relationship anymore ig.

The problem is that I have been in an online relationship for almost 5 years with this guy. Lately I am not sure if it is platonic, romantic or emotional attraction. I'm usually also the type who doesn't care much and usually despises-..

he never treated me badly and I'm happy about it, we shared chats that were really important to me. Both in moments of happiness and sadness. He consoled me, understood me, but above all he loved me..I know it's bad that he loves me so much and wants to see me and all. But I don't know if I feel the same.

I mean..i guess hes cute and also nice..but i cant say if i want to kiss him and all. In my head its cute the scenario (?), but if we were to meet and do that I'm not sure. It's like it's always swinging.

some time ago I also took a test and it turned out that I was greyaro (like 2-3 years ago). I'm not sure.. I think he deserves affection because he never betrayed me or abandoned me (unlike others)

but I can't say if a relationship with him, romantic, would be nice -.. (I can't say if I'm forcing myself to feel romantic attraction to him..but I think I'd like to be able to love him like he loves me).

he even played a "joke" on me once (not funny, honestly). Where he said he cheated on me. At that point I burst into tears, but at the same time I was thinking "ok, you don't have to pretend anymore."

... :P

I don't know what else to say, I'm just afraid that if I were really aro I don't want to hurt him or give him false hope.

advice? :(

Hi, so I've always been curious about what I am, and I think I am cupioromantic, but i just thought i would see what others think So l'm 14, and l've never had a crush or a relationship. But i will see people with a partner or read a romantic book and be like, "i want that. I want to cuddle someone and love someone and just have a relationship. "' But I just don't feel that way about anyone I see. But I do think i could. So I just thought I'd see if you guys think i am cupioromantic or if I just haven't found the right person yet...?

I am aromantic who wants to be in a relationship and do cute things that people in relationships do. I'm hoping that I can be demiromantic so one day I can feel romantic attraction and fall in love but until then I'll stick with aromantic (I'm not using cupioromantic because people outside the community and from community are confused and offended by the term). If I never felt romantic attraction and fell in love in my life, it would be the biggest regret of my life. This is my experience. So what is other cupioromantic's experience with cupioromanticism? Let me know.

Do you tell people you're cupioromantic? Specifically romantic partners? And at what point, before starting the relationship? After you're in it, when it happens to come up? This may be me wondering if I can deny the fact I'm aromantic permanently but I'm wondering if I can just not tell people I'm cupio or if that's bad on my part. If I had a partner and we're both happy, why should I bring it up? Especially if there's a risk of them not understanding?

Hello, I discovered this label today and I'm wondering if it could apply to me, but I'm still trying to understand myself, so I'm not sure.

Extremely, and I mean EXTREMELY confused rant ahead, thank you to whoever will read this mess :) [English isn't even my first language so some wording might sound weird]

Little premise:

Lately I've been trying to understand my feelings better and I've been searching among different labels to try and see which ones could apply to me. I don't care about labels and such, it's just something I'd like to do to understand myself better. I basically did them all trying to understand what's going on in my brain. I'm pretty much sure I'm ace, but I'm not sure about the romantic side. Just a couple of days ago I started to think I might be on the aromantic spectrum, because I've seen videos and read posts about people that made me question if I really felt romantic attraction or "love" and "liking" in the alloromantic way.

Now, I'm 24 y.o but I've never been in a relationship before, but almost two years ago I met a girl on a twitter group chat (yes, it sounds crazy) and we clicked almost instantly, we started to talk and after a while decided to get to know each other better and ended up trying a relationship. Now this relationship is extremely long distance, we have a whole continent separating us, so we haven't been able to see each other yet because of economic and accomodation problems. But all this time we have been doing really well even through all the difficulties that the distance gives us. We text often and video call a lot too.

Now my questions come from the fact that at first I thought my lack of "feeling" derived from the lack of irl contact, as much as a video call is nice, it's never the same as being in person with someone. But my girlfriend often expresses her feelings and always says that she misses me when I don't text or call often, she's often the one that calls me (I do too, just less often). Just the other day she was telling me that she'd like it if I told her I missed her too, and a couple of weeks ago I did tell her that, while I was on vacation, but I explained to her that I meant that I wanted her to be there with me sharing those moments cause she was the person I'd like to spend that time with the most. So it wasn't really missing, more like "you should be here", longing maybe? I'm was longing the idea of being on vacation with my partner, which made me realise I do like the idea of a romantic relationship.

So what confuses me is that I enjoy our relationship and would love to finally meet and be together in person, and I know that I do like her, in a way that to me makes sense. But when comparing my feelings to what she shares with me and to what people say about relationships, I feel like I'm too... Detatched? Or rather I don't really like her as much as she likes me or as I feel I should? Now I'm a very independent and laid back person who doesn't feel strongly about anyone in particular in my life (except my cats probably, lol), I always thought that the way I feel things is just different compared to other people around me. Like, the way I feel "love" or "liking" or even affection is much more laid back and relaxed compared to other people, but at the same time... Wouldn't this make me aromantic? I'm really confused by what's the difference in my brain between just liking someone in my own way and being aromantic. Maybe I'm asking silly questions because of course you can't know what's in my brain but maybe someone had my same experience... Like that maybe liking people in my own way IS liking in an aromantic/cupioromantic way?

I do think the distance makes everything more confusing, but I feel like I can't like someone more than this, like I will never feel the love that people describe, like putting someone else before yourself without a second thought, putting your own needs away for your partner. At first I thought I was just selfish, but then my girlfriend explained to me that I was really good and caring to her, even if I didn't feel like it, but I still feel like I will never do what she does and put someone's feelings, wellbeing and needs before myself if it means I have to sacrifice something. Like I don't really do it now either, sometimes I have to force myself to do things for her, and I don't do them if they don't align with what I feel or want to do in that moment. So I feel extremely selfish when these things happen, because this isn't how you should feel with a partner... But I do like her, I do want us to be together, am I too lazy? Am I too selfish? I think I'm not a good partner, surely I'm not the bestest girlfriend as she thinks I am, I'm pretty sure she says that because she can't read my mind. She doesn't have low standards, I assure you, but at the same time I feel like I'm not as good as she makes me look like. So I kept wondering if it was just part of my personality or if I am cupioromantic or aromantic in some way? But at the same time, this is just how I am, romantic or platonic relationship, actually my girlfriend does get a special treatment compared to friends, so I'm really confused because I'm pretty sure this it the most I can give.

I imagine this was extremely confusing to read because I'm extremely confused myself. But I think my girlfriend deserved to know and understand my feelings, I don't think it would be right to be with her without telling her I might never like or love her back the way she does me.

I'm not even sure this is the label I'm searching for, but it's the closest I've found to what I'm feeling. Because I enjoy our relationship but I don't think I like her or I'll love her in a conventional way?

Thanks for reading this word chaos.

Help :)

i (m16) am cupio but i stil really want a relationship i can enjoy doing romatic stuff its just that i cant fall in love and flirting can get confusing at times i just really want somebody i can do all the things with you would normaly do in a relationship i am just scared i wil have a bad relation how do i keep a relationship healthy and how do i even start a relatonship when i am aro i cant just lie that i am in love can somebody give me advice

Trigger Warning, I guess, for an uncomfortably sexual kiss?

Hi all!!

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this, but I think that I might be Cupioromantic. I need some help because the definitions I've found online are all pretty muddled, and I think hearing from folks who are actually in the community could shed some light on this for me.

I currently identify as queer (I have for a while) and I have been in a relationship before. Granted, I was in my early teens at the time, and everything was extremely mild (lots of awkward closed mouth kissing). I am unsure if I ever felt anything for this person. I found them cute, and I still do, but I don't know if I ever really had a crush on them. They told me that they liked me first, and I muddled over it for a long time. I had thoughts about kissing them, but they never had a super strong emotion attached. At last, I convinced myself that what I was feeling was romantic, and I told them I wanted to go out. I still don't know how to feel about this, because it feels like I was leading them on. I don't fully understand how attraction feels, or what it is. My heart has never raced when thinking about someone, I've never blushed at the idea of someone, and I have ways that all of my crushes could be "explained" as another emotion that is not romantic (for example, I had a 'crush' on my best friend, or maybe was just jealous of how much they cared about their partner, and I felt like I was losing them to their romance).

I am partial to the idea of kissing, but not for the attraction of it. I care about people, and I would kiss them, but I don't know if I feel the passion others have described. In other words, I've never felt a "spark." I have avoided people who have shown an interest in me in the past because, "we weren't close enough that I would trust them with contact, like a kiss." I don't have any trauma surrounding contact, except for an uncomfortably sexually-charged relationship, culminating in a kiss that was way outside of my comfort zone. Looking back on it, it was a normal, open-mouthed kiss, but maybe has something to do with this, because it was past the threshold of what I'd do with someone I cared about platonically. I love romance books, and I really, really want to feel and understand romance.

I want to feel a spark, to go on a date, and have a romantic relationship with someone I care about. I haven't found that someone yet, though, and I'm in my (late) teens, which is prime-time for romance, or so I've been told. My friends are into new people frequently, and I don't get it. I want some advice on this because I have diagnosed depression and anxiety disorders, as well as being neurodivergent, all of which may be inhibiting me from feeling romantic attraction and overthinking this whole thing, because I sometimes have a hard time understanding others. Anyways, some advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

I believe I may be Cupioromantic as I have never had a crush or feel any romantic love towards anyone, I've heard about this a while ago but it was never relevant to me until now as I didn't talk to people much back then.

The thing is, I can't exactly go "Hey, I don't have feelings for you, want to be in a relationship with me anyways?" Because like duhh and of course I won't lie about feelings because I have some basic empathy left in me,

And how am I supposed to choose who to ask out anyways? Like would I keep a list of stats like "Ooh they're high on the Cheerfulness! . . But low on the probability of accepting my request for a relationship"

Like I just don't understand how I am supposed to start a relationship when I don't feel anything towards peopme and probably won't until I'm already in a relationship, I also fear that I may completely incapable of romantic love which sucks as I really do want a romantic partner eventually.