/r/Crippled_Alcoholics

Photograph via snooOG

We are an addiction support and recovery community for professional alcoholics.

We drink to get sober and are not your average weekend warrior. Full throttle into the abyss, with highway to hell at full volume.

We support all stages of alcoholic life and celebrate sobriety!

/r/Crippled_Alcoholics

6,703 Subscribers

2

Do I have alcoholic dementia?

Hi!

I (f25) been drinking daily very heavily for the past three years - spirits mostly.

However, in the past few months, I’ve noticed memory problems. I’m forgetting what I’ve done during the day. Ive also lost my appetite, am having speech difficulties and balance difficulties. I’ve experienced tremors, as well as a weird stammer that I’ve never noticed before.

I’ve not been sleeping, so that also can’t be helping, but my brain just doesn’t feel like mine and I’m terrified.

Is it possible that I have alcohol-induced dementia?

Thanks

19 Comments
2024/11/27
08:48 UTC

10

I don't think I can make Thanksgiving....

It's too late to taper. I would be a shakey mess. My dad and my uncle would know right away.

My brother is actually understanding and knows. I feel very guity, but I'm not in a mental space to show up

29 Comments
2024/11/26
23:47 UTC

24

tips on shutting my fucking mouth

I'm quiet. Really, really quiet normally. I don't speak unless spoken to.

When I drink, I'm suddenly saying everything that comes to mind, verbally and in text. I know for a fact I sound drunk as hell when I do this. All giggly and shit.

I think I'm so lonely sober that everything just gushes out. It doesn't help that being drunk makes other people funny and interesting to me.

I feel like besides how my breath smells it's my biggest tell for people who know me. How do I control it better?

27 Comments
2024/11/26
18:54 UTC

3

female facial hair??

hey gang i havent been on here in like a year i swore i was sober lol but anyways that is Not the case i drink a lot of beer now (used to only be hard liquor) but have noticed that the peach fuzz on my face is now way too fuzzy. trying to figure out if any other girls here have this problem or if this is happening to me because of something else. im 19. i’m blonde so its not too visible but its definitely worsening my acne and i’m going to have to shave or dermaplane soon. also wondering if shaving will make it grow back darker (visible) ?? i first noticed more hair on my arms before it spread to my face

tldr have any females here (age 20~) grown facial hair from beer

8 Comments
2024/11/26
02:41 UTC

11

PSA for CAs in Seattle (a withdrawal story)

(posted in other sub but posting here too for the info) If you have to go to the hospital, go to Virginia Mason not Swedish. I’ve been to both now, I just got back from Virginia Mason after having a welfare check on me and I was absolutely wasted, like in another world wasted.

First in the ER, they will load you with Librium immediately. It was never like that with Swedish. They gave me some benzo. I haven’t heard of, but it’s specifically helps with alcohol as well. I thought I was going to be transferred to detox, but my labs were too fucked up so they admitted me. And when there wasn’t a bed available yet in the unit I was being admitted to, they brought in an actual hospital bed so I wouldn’t have to try to sleep in an ER bed.

Now the actual treatment once admitted was thorough. They were checking my CIWA score every four hours, and if I mentioned my anxiety, they would give me something for it. I was hooked up so my vitals were continuously monitored.

At least in my case they’re able to decrease your withdrawal symptoms fairly quickly because they just loaded you up with the Librium and the benzos and the anti-anxiety. And when it wears off and you’re having anxiety still, they will give you more. Not necessarily more Librium, but they’ll give you the benzo and other things and they work.

If you’re having digestive issues, they will pay attention to that (I mentioned I had black stools once and I was on a clear liquid diet for two meals just to be sure I wasn’t bleeding inside).

The doctors and nurses are great. They are polite, quick and efficient, they’re very busy on that floor, but never did I feel any animosity about me being there for alcoholism, which I can’t say the same about Swedish.

When I was more stable and getting closer to discharge, they moved me to a less critical care, floor, less monitoring, although I still need an IV more magnesium and something else I was low on. That floor was also great My nurse was very kind about my concerns about going home. I was very emotional at that point, and even though I was already discharged, it was really close to lunch and I was really hungry and I asked if I could stay for lunch and she said of course.

I also mentioned I didn’t have a lot of ready to eat food at home and I was still weak, I couldn’t cook and she made me a little bag of snacks that they have. It was so, so kind and she didn’t have to do that. I also feel like my doctor was truly involved in my care not just where I couldn’t see but with me, he spoke to me multiple times listened to my story and my concerns, and actually explained things to me in a way that helped ease my stress. I don’t think I’ve had a doctor in a hospital do that before

Now to be fair my admission to Swedish was back in December 2020 so I don’t remember that experience as vividly, but I remember the nurses being nice, but I do not remember that level of care. The withdrawal symptoms were not responded to nearly as quickly because they weren’t taking the CIWA score nearly as often and I wasn't checked on nearly as often, I didn't see the doctors as often.

And I’ve been to the Swedish ER a few times and while I’ve had a good doctor, there’s one who absolutely despises alcoholics, you can feel the disdain dripping off of her. And the level of care that ER is not that great comparatively. It takes forever to get meds, even a loading dose. You are made to feel like an afterthought.

Now I know this is long, but I didn’t type this all out. This is voice to text because I just got back. I can’t type all this out. I’m still on my Librium taper. But in conclusion if you have to go, go to Virginia Mason. You will get better care and start feeling better faster. Please forgive any weird grammar or spelling, like I said I’m still kind of out of it. chairs.

ETA: I forgot to mention the discharge papers are the best I’ve seen. They are super clear, there is a section called “instructions from your doctor” where they address you by name (literally “Hi Algae” and they summarize why you were there and what you should do next) which I’ve never seen before. The medication page is very clear, and they also highlight the exact symptoms of when to contact a doctor vs the ones to get help right away. And my nurse went over it page by page with me and emphasized the symptoms to look out for to come back for. I feel like other places they just hand you papers and send you on your way. That was impressive to me.

Another Eta: they also followed up. They literally called me to ask if I was OK if I was still having any symptoms if I had any trouble getting my medication if I had a doctors appointment scheduled and to remind me to come back in if I was having any more bad symptoms, never had any other hospital do that.

6 Comments
2024/11/26
01:23 UTC

20

Anyone seen “Another Round”?

I was just posting in another sub and thought about how much this movie means to me. I wonder if the script was written by a fellow CA.

It means so much to me.. perfectly captures that sweet sweet balance between alcohol contributing to your absolute fucking best and worst moments in life.

Just wondering if y’all saw it and thoughts. Chairs.

15 Comments
2024/11/25
23:44 UTC

7

Bloating and water retention

I'm down to 12 drinks a day. Getting a lot of bloating and water retention. It starts to get really uncomfortable, never really felt like this before.

I'm try to cut the salt intake as I have been going hard on that for awhile now. Anything else I can do? I just drink beer at the moment.

5 Comments
2024/11/25
18:33 UTC

16

Grateful for you all

Just wanted to say thank you for making this such a great place to be. That’s all. Wino- out.

6 Comments
2024/11/25
02:50 UTC

34

Who can relate hahah🥲

33 Comments
2024/11/24
19:46 UTC

11

The old days

Watched place beyond the pines and holy Jesus does this bastard remind me of myself. I used to be a great motocross rider almost went to the next level but I started drinking and met the wrong women (who I still unfortunately am head over heels for) and that’s my career. I miss when I could ride and feel nothing no fear and no desire just to be the fastest guy out their. I’m drinking alone and watching Django unchained while my organs hurt and my bones. I miss being younger when I could feel something. Went sober for a month and still don’t feel anything. Rough life we live and to be honest I miss younger me. Chairs I’ll rip a shot of vodka to you all the only place I find a semblance of comfort

4 Comments
2024/11/23
21:56 UTC

12

Why I drink

Hey all, you may remember from just a few posts before, but I'm a frequent lurker and love you all, the hysterical, the tragic, and everything in between.

Just have nowhere to go today with this "why I drink" story except here. Much of it non-drinking related, so I hope it is allowed, except for this is what is driving me around the bend these days.

Let's get started by saying I drink way too much. Bottle of wine or two and a sizable dent in a liquor bottle is not unusual for me these days. I realize some of you play a lot harder than that, i.e., I'm FA, not CA, but I feel myself getting to the edge these days based on how stressed I am. I'm trying to post this and let go so that I can actually be a functional (if slightly lubricated) human today, which I haven't been for a week.

I live on the other side of the planet from my husband, who is 70ish. If you remember me, we've had explosive conversations about alcohol that I think basically come down to him thinking it is making me fat (I'm actually totally in the normal range, he just has major body image issues, as will become clear). Last week, he let his gallbladder explode before biking to the hospital, almost decided it was nothing and went home (where, in retrospect, he probably would have died on the bathroom floor), and ended up staying in the hospital a week -- part of it supposedly because he was generously trying to sooth my out-of-control anxieties.

For the record: I realize that gallbladder issues are usually no biggie, nobody needs a gallbladder, etc.

Prior to him going to the hospital, I could have told him for at least two days that he needed to go to the hospital. But then we would have gotten into an explosive situation about me not appreciating how wonderfully healthy and fit he is, me needing to control him and make him feel bad about his body, etc.

We didn't see each other for two months last year, in which time he discovered he was slightly obese and went on a crash diet consisting of one bowl of oatmeal per day, so the next time I saw him he had dropped probably 30 lbs. If your spouse does that without telling you in advance they are on a diet, I think horror is a pretty normal reaction, but that obviously wasn't what he was hoping for. He's continued to drop weight. I haven't seen him for a month but it is probably a lot more. He was at the hips-stcking-out phase last I saw him a month ago, but I can't say that without getting him on a rant about how healthy he is and I don't appreciate his efforts. So: the man has lost horrifying amounts of weight, but I can't tell if it is because he is sick or essentially anorexic.

So anyway, Mr. Gallbladder suddenly exploded, without any history of gallstone problems, and he has a biliary tube now -- like, a tube from his gallbladder to the outside world --, at least until January. Though, no blockage was ever found in his bile duct, just a couple of gallstones hanging out in the gallbladder. Why does he need a tube in his abdomen for six weeks if there is no blockage? It doesn't make sense to me, but I can't ask. His explanation for how it all happened in the first place is that a gallstone must have gotten stuck in his bile duct but then spontaneously passed before they could find it with the ultrasound. Is that a likely scenario? I have no idea, and I can't ask. His heart rate at the hospital was consistently 54. I'm no doctor but that's pretty goddamn slow, and the only answer I could get is that he is super-marathoner healthy: no questions allowed. (Spoilers: he's not a super-marathoner.)

I also couldn't say things to him like, I've noticed for at least a year that he breathes extremely fast. This summer, when we were watching tv, I counted how fast he was breathing and he is taking 3/4 breaths for my every one. And while I'm fit, I'm no olympic athlete. And it is constant, not because he was upset or something, it's always like that. But I can't say, huh, is this normal, maybe get it checked out, without unleashing this body anxiety.

Anyway, I hope this is allowed even though it is more of a "why I drink" rant than specifically about drinking. Chairs, y'all, and thanks for being cool and kind people.

5 Comments
2024/11/23
07:15 UTC

9

Home for the Holidays

So who else is gonna have to raw dog through a sober holiday? What's your strategy? I'm going home for the first time in 2 years. Can NOT go on a bender.

9 Comments
2024/11/23
04:30 UTC

10

Loneliness and Depression

Anyone else drink in a desperate attempt to conquer loneliness and depression?

If you do, PM me. I'd like to talk.

Thanks friends!

3 Comments
2024/11/23
02:57 UTC

17

Its 2am. Somewhere in the South Seas. Spread the love

8 Comments
2024/11/22
13:27 UTC

6

My legs have been hurting

I’m scared I’ve been drinking heavily for a couple of weeks if not months and noticed my legs mostly my inner thighs have been really hurting, I tried sleeping tonight but just couldn’t I also been taking a decent amount of Kratom extract like Kratom shots I drank 3 of those in the past 2 days, then decided to buy Kratom capsules today and took like 5 grams, I also been doing nitrous with my friends but we only did that for like a week or so then stopped, I know I’m dumb for doing all this I’m only 22 and I’m scared it’s something bad please let me know what you guys think and if anyone can dm to talk.

5 Comments
2024/11/22
12:49 UTC

7

Serious and urgent question

Which alcohol is most undetectable as in you can’t smell it on another person? Asking for a friend obviouslyyyy. Signed, Sniff

48 Comments
2024/11/22
12:10 UTC

5

Hey y’all

You might remember me from a lot of recent posts. To annoy you even more so I am back. But I know y’all understand me. On the third wine bottle and going through a life change. 3 bottles of wine the new normal for anyone? Anyone versed with packing your shit and moving countries while drunk af?! Obligatory love you all.

9 Comments
2024/11/21
23:23 UTC

6

Gabapentin for DTs and withdrawal

Hello my friends.

Has anyone else noticed how Neurontin basically eliminates alcohol withdrawal? I understand everyone's different physiologically - but I picked up my Rx today, ate a bunch around noon, and feeling pretty dang good. All things considered.

What do you guys think? Thanks!

  • Rob
14 Comments
2024/11/21
21:53 UTC

28

I'm an idiot, and I need a virtual hug from my fellow degenerates.

My mom couldn't remember my name on the phone today. The only reason she could answer is because she had someone with her. I'm glad that, along with my name and my face, she won't remember I'm an uemployed alcoholic.

13 Comments
2024/11/21
21:51 UTC

17

Things are going to get weird, again

It’s that time again. When I start getting strange. People are right. One of the hardest things to deal with when it comes to getting older is having those around you who you love and who love you pass away. December 15 approaches and I’m getting shaky. That’s when my best friend, my chosen brother moved into the whatever happens next. He moved on in 2022 and I’m still grieving, and I’m missing him, and looking from my pond and into the sky with a cigarette between my middle and index and searching for something to smile about and wondering why it was him and not me. You have those people in life that fell from the same star as you and when they’re gone, it’s so devastatingly hard to keep going on. And people tell me to keep going on and living so freely and enjoying life, which I fight for daily,,, but nothing seems to matter if he’s not here to enjoy any of it with me. I really miss my friend:)… And I hear his voice in my head as I write this. No worries. I’m going to keep going on. One day, maybe, something will make sense. I don’t know.

2 Comments
2024/11/21
02:47 UTC

35

37 days

No booze or weed. I don’t know how I’m doing it but I feel good about it this time. Kratom is helping me with the cravings. For 10 years I drank vodka everyday and only managed 6 consecutive days. In the last 6 months sobriety from booze has gotten easier the harder I work towards it. There is hope out there. If I could do some sober stints than anyone can. Longest was 53 days. Planning on making it longer this time around. Chairs!

16 Comments
2024/11/21
01:50 UTC

2

Blood sugar

Quick question on blood sugar. I am currently tapering successfully. I dont have diabetes or anything however i did test my blood sugar out of curiousity. Its been low all day even after eating and having candy throughout the day. Is my pancreas or something just in over drive? Tonight would be 10 drinks but now I'm more worried about the low blood sugar. Anyone else experience this?

7 Comments
2024/11/20
23:19 UTC

8

Another journey

About to embark on my next journey. 6kms (4 miles) to my closest bottle shop. I’ll at least take my dog with me (she deserves the walk) but fuck me why is it so far. Can’t I get at least a little win (closer bottle shop?) Anyway, see y’all in a few hours

2 Comments
2024/11/20
23:13 UTC

6

Drinking mouthwash again...

Thought I had enough in my bank account to buy another pint of vodka but apparently not. ugh this stuff is gross

13 Comments
2024/11/20
19:31 UTC

6

ACT II: what are foods to eat while detox?

I'm about to go in this time and can't afford any mess ups. What are the best things to be eating while detoxing on chlordiazepoxide? There are the obvious ones like leafy greens and proteins but are there any other foods that specifically ease detoxing?

I know chamomile tea is good. But dats just tea :|

And as we all know food is expensive as absolute fuck in general and perfectly right as the holidays roll around 😊. Milk thistle and lion's mane is expensive.

So what would be the most nutritious budget wise in account too?

Thanks for any input and love you guys. Idk why I'm even doing this shjt but Chairs ~♤

12 Comments
2024/11/20
14:27 UTC

14

I drink and it makes me happy

I drink and it makes me feel great for a temporary amount of time. People at work don’t expect much except that I may be more talkative than normal but I still function. It’s affected my relationship though and feels like we’re at the end of our rope. It’s financially crippling and we have been here before but I always get back up. Pretty much people are forgiving but I don’t do anything stupid besides maybe drink and drive but even then I’m smart enough to just take an Uber if I need to. It’s definitely a mental state and just had me super paranoid at one point because I took about 2 days off from work without sick time and thought they were gonna can me but nothing has happened and think they need me more than I need them and that’s why they keep me here.

7 Comments
2024/11/20
11:12 UTC

18

Recovery tip

This is all you need to get through the day and some saltine crackers guys also wanna add that I’m glad I found a group that relates to me so much. I really like helping people so I’m going to be sharing what’s helped me get through a 7 day bender and is currently helping stay at work, active, and awake. I drink Jameson whiskey A whole 5th almost everyday and by god is it a miracle that I can still function going to work at a call center by the way and still able to help people. Let me know if you have any questions. I also took Chlordiazepoxide for the shakes but not sure if I’ll keep taking it. Happy recovery and hope this helps. Ps there is just something magical in chicken noodle soup that just brings you back to life. Not sure what it is. I also cook fish and asparagus for dinner to help my body process the alcohol and yes lots and lots of water.

20 Comments
2024/11/20
10:56 UTC

5

Chlordiazepoxide taken 12 hours ago and had half a bottle of Jameson

Ok so I was going through withdrawals yesterday and took 2 Chlordiazepoxide before the afternoon and felt better and then afternoon hit and got a bottle of Jameson and drank half the bottle. Went to sleep woke up at midnight feeling like a zombie. I’ve read it’s not good to mix but am I fine? I’m a mess and took two shots of whiskey just now. I’m a 190 pound 30 year old man. Just want to make sure I am fine and not going to die.

2 Comments
2024/11/20
10:41 UTC

17

Has anyone’s alcoholism crippled them?

I know I’ve been around and haven’t responded lots of times but hey I love you guys and I’m sorry - that’s just the nature of this shit I suppose… when I have the energy I post and loads of time none to answer. Anyway, onto my question.

I’ve recently fallen down my stairs a few times, onto a concrete pavement causing permanent scars, the apparent radically escalated aging, and also my insides being the obvious things in acute pain.

Anyone got seriously injured beyond the slower-ish onset of the “inside stuff”?

38 Comments
2024/11/20
00:05 UTC

6

Anyone saving money?

I make decent money but save none of it. I’m from bar hopping to food to cigarettes, I spend almost everything.

Any of you degenerates have a surprisingly fat savings account?

12 Comments
2024/11/19
21:34 UTC

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