Does anyone else notice this too? That if you don't look like you stepped off of the bachelor that white men (and white identified) people think you're crazy for existing. I remember in the early 2000's it was the Victoria secret model look. I mean what is up with that.

It's extreme vanity and shallowness.

Hi there. The only place I can’t contain my emotions or pause or breathe or count to three is at work. Idk if it’s the structure, the abuse from my mom that’s caused me to just reject anything and all things that are constricting. Sometimes they make reckless off the cuff decisions which is crazy to me….this is a business! There should be order! But maybe it’s just me that can’t deal with the unpredictable nature of work, the roller coaster of emotions, but then being forced to mask and not be affected. I gotta get it under control, but just seeing if anyone else’s trauma shows up at work

Does anyone have any advice on how to process experiencing racism and moving on? I'm in the process of getting a therapist to unpack this stuff but in the meantime I was hoping to get some advice.

Some background about me, I'm Nigerian and was raised in America. I think since I was raised in an immigrant home, I didn't get any preparation for racism. I partially grew up in a pwi environment for the really young development years of my life. I didn't even realize I experienced racism until I was older around 14. So I honestly felt like everyone hated me and that I just shouldn't be on earth for the younger years off my life.

Even though I'm an adult now and understand that the world is still really racist, it just still so hard to process. Anytime I experienced something remotely racist even if it wasn't directly at me, I feel those feelings again. I'm just really sensitive to any form of racism.

An example is the n word. I didn't grow up using that word and when I learned the history, I felt really uncomfortable with using it. However whenever people who aren't black say it, I go on this mini internal mental spiral. It's like I'll brush it off in the moment then later on in the day I think about it and sometimes I cry. I just can't help but feel like I'm not human.

Sometimes I meet African immigrants around me who were raised in Africa. They seem so much more secure in themselves. Sometimes I wish I was raised in Africa for my developmental years before coming to America. At least then I would know what it's like to not be an outsider due to my race. Any advice on this?

These people make it their mission in life to make you miserable. The nasty trashy venom in them that is constantly thrown your way from their ugly scrunched up faces really takes it's toll to the extent that you lose faith in humanity, dread going anywhere. Just make the world a worse place to live.

When you enter an environment with one or a group it's a matter of time til abuse.

Please let me know if this comment goes too hard for this sub. If it does, I totally understand.

Tw: Microaggressions, racism, romantic trauma, aggression, general trauma, and gaslighting

This comment blew up when I left it under someone else’s post, and it sounds like other black and mixed women and femme presenting folks have had similar problems, so I thought I’d add in additional context, and just make this story a post. Hell, maybe some of y’all have gone through something similar, and can share, or at least feel seen.

Here’s the story. Buckle up.

This yt guy, Chris, whom I was seeing non-monogamously, but who my dumb ass thought of as an actual friend—joke’s on me, I guess, got his ass absolutely handed to him—like eviscerated—nuclear targeting on lock—from space, as I dumped him, because of some horrendously racist crap he pulled, that he swears he “didn’t mean,” as if racism only happens when you mean to be racist…

The entire evisceration he experienced stems from him literally telling me that I should THANK his white girlfriend for attending a BLM rally once and getting a booboo on her hand about it. His comedic timing is absolutely impeccable, because he told me this at the same time that he decided he wanted to spend time with her instead of me, on what was supposed to be a weekend trip he had set up for the two of us.

When this happened, Chris had no idea why, after several other instances of clueless and hurtful racism that directly preceded this one, I was so pissed at him.

I had been so irritated with him, that I told him I wasn’t sure we could even keep being friends, let alone seeing one another, but he listened to what I had to say, and then told me he wanted to start again by spending some time together.

He lived in Minneapolis, and I live in Chicago. He knows I’m not fond of Minnesota, as a non-white person, specifically as a black mixed race person, and he offered to pay for the whole thing. I wasn’t keen on the idea at first, because the only other time I had been up there to see him, it was poorly planned, and his ASD led to him having a meltdown literally when I needed him the most. Call this chance number two, i.e. the last mfing one, but like L.L. said, don’t call it a comeback, because shit went sideways real fast.

Now, I’m tooting my own horn here, I realize this, but I’m fucking hot, man, AND smart, AND in good shape, AND I have a good job and despite my health issues, my life is fairly in order, and he’s enamored with some mediocre white lady who can’t be fucked to even be a real ally to mixed or black people like myself, nor can he…? Make THAT make sense for me.

So after setting this weekend trip up, picking the date and time and everything, Chris starts hemming and hawing and waffling around like a little beeotch about when we’ll be hanging out, and how he needs to make up a canceled date or something with BLM Booboo Becky (that’s her name, from now on. As far as I’m concerned, it should be on her driver’s license), so he’s going to take one the nights out of our weekend trip to do something with her.

Keep in mind, this is all happening while his wife is divorcing him. We’ll call her Katie. Katie and I are friendly, and she has just had it with Chris’ bs at this point. Katie is happy now, by the way, and in a long term non-monogamous relationship with a very lovely man—so go, Katie!

Anyway, knowing all of this, and knowing how important it is for me to feel supported in a relationship of any kind—even a non-monogamous one, and knowing and even admitting to the fact that Chris’ behavior during the one and only trip I had ever made up to the twin cities is a huge factor in my not feeling great about coming back up, even in an ideal situation, where everything goes as planned, and yet his still pulls this shit.

He tells me that he doesn’t know why I’m “upset” about this, and that frankly, I should be thanking BLM Booboo Becky for being such a wonderful ally, that she deigned to go to ONE BLM rally, while she was off work anyway, where she got a booboo on her fingey. In the mean time, this woman is absolutely DINING OUT on her I got a booboo on my wittle fingey story—she even put it in her dating profile, apparently, and Chris can’t fathom why I wouldn’t love the idea of him spending time with someone like this to begin with, let alone want to drive my beige ass up to the twin cities and wait until Chris has time for me, and isn’t spending time with BLM Booboo Becky…? Sure, Jan, sure…

I was livid. I canceled our plans and let him know that I was no longer comfortable seeing him or even being “friends,” as it was clear that he wasn’t my friend to begin with. He starts crying and saying he doesn’t know what he’ll do without me, and that I’m the best friend he has ever had, in addition to being his favorite all time sex partner, which, at this point, I don’t even entertain.

I tell him that if I was such an important part of his life that I was his alleged best friend, that I believe he’d have done better at holding up his end of the relationship. He basically agrees, but still keeps trying to stop me from ending our friendship. He goes off crying and being all hurt, and I tell him to get his shit together, and figure himself out. I also tell him that while I was under no elusions that I owed him an explanation, I chose to give him one anyway, so that he never darkens another black woman’s doorstep. He goes on being all whiny and butt hurt, and I get sick of it, so I did something kind of evil…

I went onto the local r4r subreddit for the twin cities, and I put an ad out, saying that I’m thinking of coming up there (listing the dates I had originally been planning on coming up to see Chris), saying that the guy I had originally planned on going up there to see was being unbearably disrespectful, so I wondered if any other lovely gentlemen with a curved cock, which Chris seemed to feel was a real premium feature of his, would like to meet up, if I wind up coming up to the twin cities on the dates I mentioned. I shared pictures of myself (no face, obviously) and basically said if you meet the criteria I listed and like what you see, let’s meet up.

I kid you not, I got thousands of replies within hours, from sexy men showing me their curved dicks and telling me they’d love to treat me right, and that Chris was a real shit gibbon for losing me. So, I do the only logical thing for a petty bitch to do, and I share those replies with Chris (without any personal information about any of the lovely gentlemen who replied to my post), and Chris did not react well, so I sent him the fuck around/find out line graph, and told him to leave black, mixed, and other BIPOC women alone.

Now, mind you, I am someone who has less even remotely uncomfortable breakups than it would take to count on one hand. I’m still friends with most of my exes. Hell, even my family keeps in touch with several of them—they’re all great people, whom I absolutely respect and want to keep in touch with, even once we’ve moved on romantically and/or sexually.

So the upshot of my story is not to take black, mixed, or other BIPOC women’s kindness and empathetic nature for weakness, because we do not tolerate tomfoolery. Chris’ self beclowning just really worked my one last nerve, so I dunked on him in the most humiliating way possible, broke his will, and I’m not sorry about it.

My siblings and I were all born/raised in North America. We’re all in our 20s/30s now.

My parents are immigrants, each from their own respective country. Neither of them have ANY relatives nearby. We didn’t grow up around a “village” AKA we didn’t grow up with extended family like grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, etc. It was just us—my parents, my 2 siblings, and myself.

The closest we have are some distant relatives on my mom’s side who live across the freaking continent (we’re talking 5-hour flight away).

As a child/teen, I didn’t realize how isolating and lonely this was until I got older (I’m 30 now).

This loneliness becomes especially pronounced during Christmas/holiday season. The holidays emphasize large gatherings with large families, and I never had that.

To make matters worse: A). My dad comes from a country that doesn’t even celebrate Christmas, and B). Both my parents are toxic.

Can anybody else relate??

The drama with that recent boxer SA'ing a woman and his wife saying "I will warn my son about women like you" made me think about how white men can get away with the most awful acts and bad behavior. In this case a white woman was the victim but there are also plenty of cases in which the victims are WOC and white women don't care or even encourage the abuse.

As the title says…

I’d say I’m pretty “progressive” and sex-positive myself but not enough for this kind of discussion among white or super westernised peers.

picture this, you're a new immigrant coming from wherever, the locals don't like you because you're a foreigner, you constantly get treated like shit by the locals when you need genuine help, fortunately your own people who immigrated earlier are here to help which they do. Now the White people are mad at you for not "assimilating" when they never gave you the chance to assimilate. You can't fucking win with these White devils.

Does anyone know why people keep giving this dumbass advice whenever I experience violence and racism? Where the fuck am I supposed to go I grew up here moving permanently to " my own country " isnt that simple. Its also poor as fuck and full of crime due to colonialism legacy. Do they really just expect me to pick up and move.

Western Europeans are racist too, but usually hide it, till Eastern Europeans enable and encourage them. This is why Europe is falling apart. All the anti-immigrant stuff came from Russian bots trying to weaken Europe, so now Western Europeans are just as racist (and openly racist) now.

Just what the fuck was today. What the fuck. Some serious entitlement on my half Asian, half white boyfriend's family. I am Asian. Im about to go ballistic. My chest hurts. My boyfriend thinks they didn't "mean" to do anything wrong. No issue, opinion, or otherwise concern for me after this god-fucking dumb, piece of shit luncheon, that we explicitly tried to safety plan for. Fucking shit!!!

Things I was told today:

Was interrogated in a really rude fucking way - "so, do YOU do ANYTHING when L is out walking the dogs, working?" WTF!! (We petsit and do doggy walking together right now and navigating trauma)

Also, "didn't you used to have an actual nice well paying job?" But in this super judgy way like it wasn't a good thing (I used to be in computer science)

No hello, hi, or otherwise acknowledgment of my presence when we arrived. Seriously, I'm not joking. We also had to awkwardly get chairs for a table that was too small.

Upon asking about my future plans and me being on the spot, the only one interrogated, me being vague saying I'm probably going to get my masters in a different field, them: "you probably won't be able to get a job because masters degrees are overqualified" "Well you have to just do it, go for it" (because I said I'm considering a few options)

FFS you guys don't know anything about me. Your entire boomer worldview is based off bullshit white entitlement.

I'm so fucking angry! My boyfriend didn't stand up for me at all. You're half Asian too! What the actual hell???

Oh, and they had to say they "don't like Asian food", making a face about sushi, they "don't understand" Chinese food, Mexican food, etc. I'm fucking Chinese...

And said I should use chopsticks when I was using knife and fork. Watching me use my knife and fork. 😐😐😐

The blatant white entitlement but it's the fucking career stuff that gets to me. I'm so fucking done, being judged by all these fucking white people in my life, about what I can do and what I fucking can't do, judging my "Asian" habits or interests, casting me as some type of emotionless robot who doesn't have emotions (!!!! SO FUCKING MAD) bc I'm visibly East Asian, now judging me thinking I just stay at home; meanwhile boyfriends sister had a baby, is mooching off her mom, didn't have any financial plans, and I don't hear shit about that while finances have been a fucking huge struggle for me and we're constantly struggling all the time because I'm fucking trying to STAY ALIVE after my own family's abuse that almost put me in the grave, and then this bullshit from boyfriends family that almost put me in the grave for the second time.

My gut is full of their rotten bullshit

I'm just angry asf I'm angry bc besides my bf i don't have much support in the world and I'm severely traumatized since childhood, no advice, kindness appreciated

A girl could be perfect in every possible way. Work hard on herself, her body and have a pretty face but she'll still be passed over for some mediocre out of shape white woman that's obese, uncouth, uneducated, poor hygiene because maybe she has colored eyes. It's exhausting and disgusting. I wish people were racist from the get go instead of making me waste my time with them because they'll suddenly decide I'm not the right shade and thus not human or dating material. I feel so much rage at the white trash that think they're better than me when they live in squalid conditions but they're white so that automatically makes them better. I want to put all of them in their place.

Remember to do something today that is related to the Native American struggle. Find what land you stay on. Teach future generations. Be well.

Native-land.ca

Leonard Peltier is still alive and in prison. Tell the people who feel guilty about "what happened to the Native Americans". Tell the white liberals, the respectability minorities, the performatively woke, the ones who never shut the fuck up.

And while I'm at it Mumia Abu-Jamal is also still alive and in prison.

--

I have spilled blood in the struggle against oppression. Many others have spilled more. My physical body exists at the line where systemic violence manifests from ideas/policy to real world practice. Many people who exist on this line with me are dead or dying.

To be clear, I have infinite grace towards personal pain and personal harm no matter how slight. I am playing the "well my struggle is actually physically violent" card, because I'm running out of patience for generalized race politics absent of individual specifics, and absent of basic awareness of systems and history. In other words: frivolous behavior.

There's been an uptick of frivolous attitudes here since The Event.

So if you're not preoccupied enough with your individual injustices, or doing something constructive for yourself, your loved ones, your community...here's some real shit you could put excess negative energy towards:

Abolish Excited Delirium diagnosis

Abolish forced labor

Abolish the "troubled teen" industry

Signal boost. Agitate. Protest. Name names. Write letters to your politicians. Sign petitions. Start petitions. Fundraise. Go to town hall and bitch about local policies. Read some goddamn theory. Do something.

Hello, not sure if highschool experiences or <18 experiences are allowed here.

I go to a STEM highschool with mainly southasians. I mind my own business and talk to absolutely no one at my school and it honestly feels so refreshing to not initiate in a conversation with virtually everyone.

BUT, I can't help but overhear the casual racist comments from white people. Specifically white boys. Out of the blue, they will say something such as "dirty Indian/it smells like indians in here" or even straight up say a racial slur and no one ever calls them out. It's not like they're whispering derogatory phrases either, they're just so flat-out comfortable and it just disgusts me to be honest.

Note: I'm new to reddit and tried to apply the 'Microaggressions' flair and I'm unsure of whether it worked or not. I'm not entirely sure about the true purpose of a flair is either.

Hello,

There seems to be confusion in the r/cptsd_bipoc community about that the term BIPOC refers to. Here are links to some accessible reading materials which can help improve your understanding.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/bipoc

https://www.ywcaworks.org/blogs/ywca/tue-03122024-1000/why-we-use-bipoc

https://www.vox.com/2020/6/30/21300294/bipoc-what-does-it-mean-critical-race-linguistics-jonathan-rosa-deandra-miles-hercules

https://www.thebipocproject.org/about-us

The reason I am posting this is because the debates about the term and lack of understanding is causing friction in the sub. BIPOC is growing in popularity but it largely exists and mostly applies to an American context. The acronym rooted in activist spaces and has a political function; even though some people have begun to identify with the term, it’s important to note that it was not intended as a racial signifier

I dont understand why they decided to ruin my life since childhood. All the reasons they gave are demonstrably false. Why did they do that to me. Why did they hate my skin colour so much. Why so much senseless violence. Why. Why. What do I do now....

I feel really bad that a day where I can relax, enjoy family, and eat good food was because of the sacrifices of the Native Americans. It stings even worse when you think about how they still don't have full justice or recompense for what happened to them?

I also feel like this day also just reminds me of how I'm still not on the best terms with all of my family. Being born and raised the scape goat and all.

It's annoying how people give so many unwanted opinions about black women's hair. People love telling us to love ourselves and stop wearing textures from other races.

Yet when I do that, it's a problem. There was a time where I said I take pride in Afro textured hair because it's such a unique hair type and that black people are the only race with such hair.

Then suddenly I'm a gatekeeper and I get told "white people can be born with afros too. What about the jew fro?". Which, jew fro low-key sounds offensive. I'm not sure if it is but I don't like that.

Anyway, come on. They know damn well any one from any other races having Afro textured hair is a genetic anomaly. It's annoying when they bring exceptions to the rule as point. On average, most people don't have this hair type outside of black people.

They have no problem telling us we're being ridiculous when we say there are black people who are born with blonde hair (look up the Melanesian people's from the Solomon Islands) because that's not very common.

Why is it after all the shit I get from others about my hair being "nappy" and ugly, me taking pride in something that's uniquely me is suddenly a problem and I'm this mean exclusionary racist ? They can gatekeep blonde hair and blue eyes but I can't gatekeep Afro textured hair?

Why can't we have ANYTHING without it being a problem??? It's also annoying when they assume I want to be like them. This comment wasn't from a white person but it still stands, I was told "I bet you want hair like mine" from a girl I considered my friend at the time..

She had long straight hair. Ofc I thought she and her hair were beautiful. I can admire other people's features without hating my own. They make fun of you for wearing straight hair and assume you want to be like them.

But then when you actually like yourself and your features they still assume you secretly want to be like them and act weird when you acknowledge your own uniqueness..

It's like a very creepy form of narcissism..why do they want me to want to look like them so badly?

I’m 33 M South Asian gay male living in a liberal west coast city and have often noticed that a lot of people (usually white) have strong opinions about desi culture.

I’m generally more of “mind my own business”, “no opinions until I’m well informed on something” and “don’t make assumptions about anyone or hold them to stereotypes” of a person and in many conversations, I often feel a power dynamic where I’m always on the receiving end of someone’s comments on my culture. Some examples:

• Sayings things like they’d not visit India because of the stereotypes around poverty, sexual harassment, pollution, etc. (not denying any of these problems but do I have to carry the burden of all these stereotypes? Can replace Indian with the US and cite the same argument with things like abortion, racism, mass shootings, etc.)

• Unnecessary assumptions just because I have a certain skin color / heritage. I was once asked by an old white man if my parents are forcing me to marry a woman in an arranged marriage (Imagine me asking a white person if their family is forcing them to join a local KKK chapter or something)

• Casual comments on the Indian accent (e.g. least favorite accent, why is it funny) or food (e.g can’t handle the flavors bla bla bla)

And while most of social circle is full of people who appreciate the culture, can’t really escape ignorant people once I’m outside my bubble.

I have noticed that I’m starting to build a bit of anger and frustration over this. How do y’all deal with this?

It’s the ASSumptions I can’t take. when you’re joking, they think you’re serious. when you’re just trying to strike up a conversation they think you’re complaining. they always assume you’re up to no good or upset. Then they wanna wonder why you disattach because every time I try to talk to you you’re combative 😣

Background: For anonymity I don’t want to get too specific but I am north african and part black, and grew up in the US, in a very white town and was the only person of my ethnicity at my high school. Most of my friends were east asian-american, so most of the micro aggressions I experienced as a teenager came from them and not white people. This came in the form of constant jokes about my ethnic features, my hair texture and nose especially. I genuinely think they felt comfortable speaking like this bc they were poc too and felt like they couldn’t be racist. I was very insecure as a result and held a lot of racial self hatred.

Fast forward to today, I go to college in a big liberal city, and my self perception is very changed. Honestly after moving here, I’ve discovered that most of my insecurities were just internalized racism, and that I’m actually lowkey pretty. Or at least people treat me like I am. I honestly wouldn’t say I’m insecure about my appearance or features now and I feel very confident every day.

One thing that still remains though, is I’ve noticed I subconsciously perceive asian americans as racially privileged and I can’t for the life of me take it seriously when the topic of anti asian racism is brought up. Maybe this sounds ridiculous but it sounds the same to me as when white people complain about reverse racism. And I know that it logically doesn’t make sense, but this is the sentiment I reflexively have. I’ve never once expressed any of these feelings or discriminated against anyone or made them feel invalid or illegitimate in these concerns, because I understand my feelings are wrong and don’t necessarily represent reality. But I do just feel bitter, and I don’t know what to do about it

I don't get it. They pretend to be woke but actually hate when bipoc point out racism

My best friend and I are Middle Eastern. He came out as gay, and while some people gave him a hard time, I stood by him throughout his coming out period and tried my best to be a decent friend. We have been best friends for over 10 years, and I view him as a brother. I even helped him get a stable job at my company. Eventually, he started dating a white guy. We spent some time together, but the guy always seemed a little standoffish. He’s a redhead with a mixed Irish background—let’s call him Jeff.

One day, I was talking to my buddy on the phone, and I made what I thought was a light, flirtatious joke. I said, “I bet Jeff wants to taste your rainbow.” I thought it was a soft playful, Lucky charms referencing gay-Irish joke. Not knowing he was on speaker, Jeff responded, “At least I don’t blow myself up.” Even though I started it, his comeback shocked me and had no punchline. Throughout my experience in a fully white school, I was bullied and called a terrorist. I even remember my history teacher saying, “America is always racist towards one group—now it’s the Arabs’ turn” (even though I’m Persian).

Anyway, Jeff apologized, and my best friend insisted he’s not racist, saying he loves dating and being with Middle Eastern men. I also apologized for being potentially offensive. I saw them on and off for a year, but eventually, my best friend got Jeff a job at my company.

At a company get-together, I explained to Jeff that my flight from India had been canceled due to a terrorist threat. He immediately said something along the lines of, “Why did you make those threats?” This time, I hadn’t made any jokes toward him, but even without me reaching out, Jeff apologized the next day. I called my best friend and told him I believe Jeff is legitimately racist and does these things on purpose. I got the same rehashed excuses, but my friend quoted Jeff saying, “If I can’t make any edgy jokes around him, how can I feel comfortable or cheerful when hanging out with him?”

I love my best friend, but a part of me feels disgusted by Jeff, and I’m not sure about the long-term trajectory of our friendship if Jeff remains in his life.

I've even just been in the bathroom and had ww look at me angry for looking at myself in the mirror, like I'm not supposed to like what I see or look at myself in front of them like it's an affront to their own self- image.

I've also just had wm pissy at me in general crappy mood. Angry at me for being happy or even neutral about my life at all.

White people aren't stealing things as obvious as land and people as much anymore. Instead it's much more insidious. It's a phrase you made up, a philosophy you discovered, or a new idea to make something more efficient. Next thing you new a white person has it and is making bank off of it. All while gas lighting and emotionally abusing you to keep profit.

What was that thing you've noticed a white person stole? This can be personally or collectively.

Also what's the difference between stealing something versus just having or utilizing a new idea?

Did your schools also never celebrate or recognize any minority or POC students?

I was always accused of plagiarizing when in reality, I was mostly a nerd...I was always singled out by teachers and accused of things I didn't do. They would pick me as their punching bag and even go after friends of mine (white and nonwhite) just because they were associated with me.

This isn't even meant to sound exaggerated. I'm not even saying this to cause anger but the realization started to sink in. This sub has been validating and eye opening. I didn't even think there were places online where POC/minorities could even talk about their experiences openly.

There were so many times when teachers threw me under the bus when I was trying my hardest. I was treated like I wasn't even human or capable of an intelligent thought because that's what fits their narrative. Even now, white people try to undermine my success because I work at it, without any privilege. As if it's not bad enough that everything is rewritten to cater to a western narrative.

I had a teacher with a son who was at best a C level student. She would put me down and celebrate his mediocrity. He went up to another teacher and said "I read two books this summer" and was celebrated for it when that same teacher scolded me for having a book on my desk before class even started.

There was a language teacher who would always put me down, make passive jabs about how stupid she thought I was and would elevate the burnout white kid who was constantly desperate for attention. She wouldn't even make eye contact with me when a friend and I went to visit her class for some project.

Certain students were celebrated because they were loud, white and male. White female students weren't even celebrated as much. It's gross how much of a caste system there is. Institutional discrimination starts early and it feels like it never goes away...They will dehumanize you nonstop to keep you from moving up because they know you'll do better.

Hello, I’m a transsexual man and I’m biracial (Korean and black) all my life it feels like I’ve been discriminated against for something I had no control over whatsoever. My race. I remember my first day at school I was asked by a few white kids why my skin was so dark and why my hair color was so dark. I was called ugly, slurs, etc from the time i started school to the time school ended for me. I am also autistic and at the time I didn’t really realize they were making fun of me I didn’t even really know anything about racism at the time due to being so young but also because my mother is heavily assimilated into the white race. I almost feel bad for her but I’m also incredibly angry. She never taught me Korean, always told me to look presentable when a white person was going to be around and only ever was friends with other white people. She didn’t start making BIPOC friends until just last year and she’s nearing her 60s soon. I’ve always felt alienated from other people due to my race I feel like I don’t belong anywhere I’m to black for Asian spaces and I’m too Asian for black spaces. And then on top of this I feel like I can’t really mingle well with other white people because there’s always underlying racism in our friendship I’m coming to realize. Like take my best friend for example he’s white and even though he grew up abused and poor he has managed to make a good life for himself lately. He moved across the country and now he is living the life it just seems. Partying, clubbing, drinking, socializing. I feel he’s left me in the dust for his desired white friends I feel discarded and tossed away by society.

It’s a huge problem on Reddit too. I first started noticing it in middle school. WOC will be judged more harshly for not being “attractive” than white women. But with black women the average person will go in on her if they don’t think she’s pretty. Black women can’t get away with being fat. Can’t get away with being “unattractive” facially. Can’t get away with looking tired.