Seriously, when I'm ready to give up on humanity, I come here. The way everyone (almost everyone) responds to each other is just so respectful and kind...

When I'm in white spaces, it's easy to forget what that's like. It's easy to forget that I am a human being and deserve to be treated like one.

Whiteness is so toxic. Even the way white people treat other white people—it's so fake and superficial. They have such big egos and are always trying to outdo each other and show ppl they're smarter and better than everyone.

I know some BIPOC can be challenging too but I tend to see that as internalized racism... they're victims of racism too and are also ignorant of how they internalize it.

But in this sub, I see the best of humanity. I know it sounds cheesy... but in other spaces people can be so cruel. Especially when people are anonymous, and especially white people.

They love taking crap out on people of color. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a punching bag, a doormat, or I'm non-existent... and this shit happens everyday.

Today alone... WW cuts me off in line and goes ahead of me practically butting me out the way as if I didn't exist, even though I was there first. Then, I was at the gym waiting to use some equipment. It was my turn next, but 3 WW show up and go ahead of me, one after the other, and I'm just standing there, invisible.

Also, at work, I posted a question and 3 white people responded, 2 were a--holes... and 3rd was polite which made it seem so astronomical that it's hard to remember that being polite is the bare minimum.

The accumulation of all this, plus other stuff I'm dealing with, made it hard for me to emotionally regulate... I think I cried for 2 hours straight wondering whats the point of life before taking a xanax... I calmed down then cried some more... its like no matter what I do, the environment I'm in will always exacerbate my PTSD symptoms.

Anyways, just needed to let everyone here know that I'm really happy this space exists. I think we are all so much stronger together. I feel like those of us here are trying to support each other as best as we can even though we are all dealing with stuff like this on a daily basis.

Also, shout our to the mods here... I appreciate how hard you guys work to keep this a safe space.

I truly admire the people here.

M, 24, black, queer.

So this was in Feb 2024 and I still haven’t processed it. Let me know if you relate to this or experience something similar.

I recently moved to one of the “multicultural” cities in Europe. I live next to Chinatown so went to the event solo on a whim. A weekend-long block party with different performances, exhibitions, various vendors etc.

The streets were packed with people of all races; maybe Global Majority people (POC) were the majority? I don’t remember. But Chinatown is in the part of the city where it’s mostly Black/Brown/Asian so that makes sense. Asian population in this city/country isn’t as big as other immigrant groups though so that too was reflected on that day. 

As a non-Chinese Asian who grew up in Asia, I felt sad because I’m used to my culture being the predominant one in the society.

It felt like the Chinese culture was treated as a mere spectacle for people. I specifically felt this when watching the dragon dance. 

But then my other thought was - the dragon dance IS a performance. The audience isn’t supposed to actively participate in it… But is it really? I’m not familiar enough with the culture to know for sure

I mean even in my culture, there are cultural activities that only certain people perform and the other people including tourists would just watch. 

I guess the Chinese people there were happy because they got to practice their culture out in the open? But there is always this whiite gaze and Othering...

It was sad because I know that after the event, 99% of the people will go back to practicing non-Chinese culture. Most people there probably don’t even know much about Chinese culture besides the foods and whatever stereotypes and Western propaganda they’re exposed to. 

I also think about how I might feel if it was my culture that was celebrated. I might enjoy it because things would feel familiar but I would be hyperaware that it’s not really home. Just a version of the culture that happened to be available in Europe. Ones that are acceptable and palatable to the foreign audience.

Also if I went with a bunch of Asian friends, which I don’t have because I’ve been chronically sick, I might have just had fun? IDK

I am an immigrant who moved to the UK when I was very young.

I had to go through the legal system from my teenage years to young adult years and get my citizenship and passport.

As an immigrant, I have had to jump hurdles that many of my peers haven’t had too.

Recently, this has taken a toil on me as I see myself being different.

Unlike my friends parents, I don’t own a home. I live in a rented property. My friends have the privilege of not worrying that their home will be taken away from them because their parents settled before the housing prices rocketed.

My friends were lucky to already have a passport and citizenship.

One of my friends, who is British born, but of South-Asian descent, doesn’t try to understand my struggles.

The other day we were talking about gentrification and he was worried about how his grandma couldn’t afford to keep her shop open due to the increase cost of bills and etc. Completely disregarding the fact that I am also in a similar predicament where our rent keeps increasing.

He would just listen but go back and talk about his grandma and how he is worried for her and how he is worried that white people will open up a bubble tea shop to replace her shop. Completely disregarding the fact that, I live with rental anxiety and I am scared of being homeless

There are times were he tries to weaponise my personal experiences and beliefs as an immigrant to attack white people and their privilege. I only call out classism and racism when it either affects me or other minorities. But I wanted to share how sometimes it’s not only white people.

I’ve worked pretty hard to get my PTSD symptoms under control. After the incidents that caused my PTSD I went pretty deep into addiction for a couple of years. I’ve managed to get clean and over the past 2 years I’ve done daily gratitude, meditation, prayer, affirmation and journaling. I have had 3, three week inpatient stays at a psychiatric hospital specializing in trauma but fuck me dead if that accounts for nothing as soon as I get triggered.

I realize that I’m incredibly fortunate to have been able to access the services I have. Because of how/where my PTSD occurred I have been able to access medical coverage that I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. I have to be in the smallest percentage of Black Indigenous people in terms of access to healthcare to treat this condition. With that said I’ve also put in the work because I don’t want the worst shit that happened to me to define the rest of my life.

On Monday I received a summary of facts for my damages claim from my lawyer which I was required to sign off on. To see all of the incredibly traumatic events (an attempted attack on my wife, threats to my family and me, a smear campaign, threats to allege sexual misconduct etc) summarized in dot points felt incredibly reductive. It left me feeling pretty triggered and despite my daily mindfulness program a lot of my PTSD symptoms have surfaced.

The nightmares are back. My anxiety is through the roof. Intrusive thoughts coupled with visceral flashbacks. This shit is really hard.

To top it off I recently decided to start dating again as I was feeling like it was time (divorced 2 years and my symptoms seemed under control). I have a second date planned tonight but sitting in freeze atm. Realistically I know I need to cancel but executive dysfunction is real and I feel like I’m either going to ghost or just got through the motions completely disassociated. Not really looking for advice because I know what I should but I’m just not able to actually pull the trigger.

This is just a rant I guess. All I can say is it’s really hard to make gains with this shit. When I do it is so worth it but I am amazed with how quickly my condition can regress as soon as I’m under pressure or triggered.

This is hard. I am not responsible for my trauma but I am responsible for my recovery. At the end of the day I need to be there for myself. I’m gonna keep on doing my best. Stay strong you mob.

Hey folks! I’m running a short anonymous survey about your experience with mental health services. Especially I want to gather insights on what works, what doesn’t, and what might help improve services in the future.

Whether you have used mental health services or just considering doing it, your feedback is valuable.

Please express your opinions in this form: https://forms.gle/jcZtT9ov2Yo8Fp9o9

It takes less than 5 minutes to complete! Your input is much appreciated!

Peace ✌️

If you're from a marginalized group and speak up once about the injustices you deal with, white people will immediately jump to calling you "racist".

It's like they want to be able to look at you like you're an animal or dehumanize or gaslight you--in major or minor ways--and that's okay to them. But if you speak up once to other non-white people, they'll still butt in and try to make you doubt yourself.

They want the power imbalance but will play victim the second minorities/immigrants/POC speak up or stand up for themselves.

White people could not handle for one second the way they treat those different than them.

Not trying to spam on here but it's been validating finding this sub.

I'm in another subreddit where a white woman is being emotionally abusive to her partner. The people are saying that it's a mental illness. But it's only because she's making them look bad.

Where's the line between psychosis versus a full grown adult being held accountable for just being shitty?

Don't forget to vote if you can! It can make a difference in your quality of life going forward. There's a bunch of state and local stuff being voted on, too, so even if you're not in a swing state it still counts for something.

"Wakanada for White people" that one tweet said, and I'm starting to think it's factual. What's with that country that attracts absolute fucking losers? Is it Anime? is it their Homogeneous society? To Idolize a country with such a violent and genocidal history like Japan it's almost on point with these far right folks. And every time these people complain about minorities in their country it leads back to them wanting to move to Japan because we apparently ruined their country and wish Japan doesn't end up like them (which is unintentionally going against their point when they want to move there themselves, but knowing them they'll pull some excuse out of their ass to defend their stupidity they're too ignorant to admit is flawed). And then you have an entire other bag of issues they have like Asian fetishism but that's for another time, the point is why that country? Why Japan?

I have so many rare "identity labels" that if diversity hiring was real, I'd be at the top of the corporate food chain. I should be opening act for that disabled black transbian single mom everyone is apparently so eager to platform. If victim cards were so easily traded for victim bucks, my education limit would be defined by my aptitude instead of my economic class.

I wish being the most intersectionally marginalized person in a room meant $$ noises going off inside of your head, instead of terror at either becoming the human garbage can for everyone else's internal and interpersonal trash and/or falling into the sunken place.

If only each layer of politicized identity multiplied the clout I can squeeze, equal to the the multiplied bigotries I'd have to brace against.

If "woke" points are so lucrative to collect, my social history would not be in shambles due to friends chasing white adjacency at the expense of their relationships with BIPOC loved ones.

I wish it was real enough for me to "flaunt" my special snowflake status the same way cis-hetero people are allowed to casually talk about their life...instead of still in the closet at my big age in a oh-so-rainbow-affirming neighborhood.

I would have heard from even one police brutality survivor on mainstream media during the Floyd protests. Therapists would be tripping over themselves to offer services to people like me. I would be able to find at least one single search result online about my mental health amongst the sea of think pieces about the PTSD of the officers who profiled me, beat me into the concrete, then tried to write me up for excited delirium. I wouldn't feel like failing to die from their violence creates an inconvenience for the societal narrative. I would not still be so fucking alone in this.

But this bootstrap magic isn't real. It just adds insult to injury. Not enough that I have to lie lie lie, hide hide hide. I gotta be in this world and grit my teeth against rants about how people like me do too much while I'm doing literally zero. I have to manage the potential negative consequences of IRL privileged people envying my lack of privilege. Like I don't have enough to carry, they gotta pile their fantasy bullshit headcannon baggage on too.

I am a college student who is mixed, I have a white name despite not looking white. One thing I noticed is that NO ONE can remember my name.

Every professor I have had continuously forgets my name even if they have asked for it several times. I attend class every day and will participate here and there, the class sizes are very small (20 students at most) so you remember everyone there even if they don’t participate.

Despite my attendance, participation, and reminders, my professors cannot remember my name at all. They can somehow remember the names of the white students who don’t attend class or don’t participate, but somehow not mine?

I’ve been told I look like I should have a different name by white friends, and I’m starting to think this is why my professors can’t remember me. My name isn’t “ethnic” enough to fit my features.

It’s just stressful and annoying knowing I’m the only one forgotten about in a tiny class. I feel like I’m overreacting, but if this is what the rest of my life is going to be like, then I hate it.

Hello everyone. The mod team is looking to expand in order lighten the workload of the active mods here in the subreddit. We're especially looking for longtime users who are familiar with this sub, its culture, and its rules. If you are interested, please message the mod team and we can send you an application. Thank you for your interest and thank you to all the vigilant users who help us do our job better👍.

I work in IT so a lot of customer interactions and people asking for help. Im only like 1 of 6 black people and im the only young male (I’m 26). 3 of them are instructors, 1 is a customer service, and the other works IT in a different building but I rarely go over there.

The white people here always side eye me every time i walk by and give that fake tight lipped smile. Some wont even say good morning even if I say it first, they’ll just look at me and scurry past quickly. Theyre like 95% Trump supporters too. They act like im gonna snap and kill them at any moment. I just walk past em now, i dont even say excuse me anymore. If you see me coming just move out of my way.

They'll come in and see my coworker (Asian) isn't here for whatever reason and then get awkward and say like, "Its okay i'll come back later" and he has said to them multiple times that if he’s not here they’re free to ask me for help. Or even better, they’ll come in and look for him, I’ll say “Hey man whats up, you need help?” and when they don’t see him sitting there they will just walk out wordlessly like I’m invisible. Theres a list of people i won’t even bother speaking to here because I know they won’t speak back.

Example: They have bagels, toasters, peanut butter, jelly, cream cheese, etc. at my job that people get for breakfast. I was toasting a bagel in the toaster and one of the white guys came over with his head down walking fast and put his bagel in the toaster next to the one I was using. I said, “Good morning”, this guy looked at me wide eyed and then walked away real fast.

Once you’ve evolved further enough, would the traits in other people stop bothering? Anyone else experience this?

The thing is, I like the people I become friends with and generally we are aligned politically. I know nobody’s perfect but often there is something they do (one of the traits) that gives me an ick while I like everything else about them.

The friendship can’t be sustained because the trait irritates me so much and eventually I lose respect for that person. It’s as if I feel these traits will creep back to me if I’m around them, so I need distance. 

I know I fully embodied these traits basically all my life so I just don’t want any reminder of it. I hate that fact that I had these traits for so long. I feel very embarrassed of my past pickme behaviors.

Also I hate to see WOC making themselves so small. Of course I understand people have their own reasons/conditioning for acting that way. 

My immediate thought is I want them to take up space, be assertive, and not be apologetic all the time because that’s what I’m trying to do myself. I also think it’s my codependency speaking when I get so annoyed by other people’s actions as if I need to control them.

Example traits:

Being overly apologetic

Being nice to people who don’t give a sh*t about you

Centering men

Centering whiites

Weak boundaries

Feeling powerless

Overall lack of self-assuredness/confidence

I work in a school, but a lot of minorities (arabic, black) I am a black teacher myself and I am from a working-class area too (not the same as my pupils). A white and direct colleague of mine (she is also an English teacher) who I only have professional conversations with almost, who I had drinks with once or twice with other colleagues as part of the group but never a one-to-one thing, knew my closeness with a former pupil of her from 10 years ago, I don't care how but she knew. She bumped into him at his work (he is a waiter in a restaurant) and you guess they had this common conversation when a teacher meets his former pupil etc, he asked who was still working there among the teachers he had, and she mentioned that I was working there too, while I wasn't obviously a teacher 10 years ago when I was 20....she wanted to talk about "us" and she told him "now that you know Nelly, you must have some files about us, the teachers, like you know Mr P and I have never been a couple as you always thought? Mr P is actually our colleague and a very close friend of her and me as well but they have been great friends for years and pupils thought they were a couple. . Mr P is a colleague that I really appreciate, very funny, smart and he comes to mine for drinks (unlike her), I could tell he was a friend! And the most important part..... He is gay. Here is where the drama starts. My colleague who I will call Karen asked many questions to my very close friend and former pupil of her to find out if he knew about Mr P's sexual orientation, she quizzed him according to him with intrusive questions to make him say that Mr P was gay so he felt like trapped. She then went and said Mr P that he was endangered because I outed him. She never came to me to tell me that she encountered with my friend, she directly went seeing Mr P. So, someone who doesn't know me as a person, barely used to ask me how I was today, who never came to my place or had a simple coffee at work with me at all, was confortable enough to talk about me outside the school but not enough to tell me about her meeting with my friend.

Now the topic of his homosexuality did intervene once in our conversation because we were talking about homophobia at school and I learned from my friend that Mr P was identified as a gay and had been laughed once but behind his back and I said to my friend "I hope you didn't take part into that and never made him feel bad about his sexual orientation". So, in a way, I admitted that he was gay but the conversation was innocent, respectful, and beyond everything....private. We had never talked about that anymore. I never felt the need of telling him to keep this private. He had never told that to anyone and in ten years, many of his nephews, nieces, went to this same school and he always talked about Mr P as the best teacher, that's it.

I felt like my colleague was wicked in the way she behaved. It was so easy to make him say what she wanted him to say and she took advantage of the fact that he is a black adult living supposedly in a poor area known for homophobia....

I have been hating my colleague since this moment because I felt like she confiscated my private life to do whatever she wants with it. She sent Mr P to go and reach me to give him explanations, I admitted that it did intervene in our conversation, I was very honest, he has never been angry against me, wanted to be sure that my friend didn't have any bad intentions but I have been hating my colleague since. Never once we (Karen and I talked about it) since she saw my friend, got the info she wanted, talked to Mr P, Mr P came and talked to me....I knew she met my friend only thanks to Mr P....she eventually realized I was angry and she owned me explanations so she eventually sent me a message that I would qualify patronizing " Nelly, I am reaching you because you must be wondering what's going on, I met Y* and I talked about you and I told Mr P about what he knows about him...we can talk about it if you want". Like you want to educate me about discriminations and explain to me what I did wrong? As a black woman I know too much about discriminations, I don't need any lessons from you about how to deal with that.

Your thought? Thank you🙏🏾

Basically the title : I don't know why but I wanted to watch some true crimes/thriller documentaries but then I stopped this idea when I realised that I didn't want to see some pathetic white cis men terrorising WOC and/or queer people of colour.

I didn't want to see some mediocre YouTubers/reporters erasing the entire systemic oppressions and systemic violences of attacking & targeting our folks.

When I stopped this stupid idea to watch those documentaries, I asked myself : "Why are serial killers always white men?" Like, wtf did they live? Do they suffer more than us?

It always seems funny to me how western society accepts, tolerates, respects even white cis man violence, anger, rage but not ours? That we are either called hysteric or some other stuff the oppressor creates to name us.

I'm not sorry but cis white men, especially straight, thin, rich, able-bodied ones, are not entitled to any sort of rage, anger, violence at all : I see no valid reason why they act the way the act.

To be honest, I have more than enough the right to be angry, to be violent, to feel rage than any white guy. Heck, any person in this sub has more than enough this right.

Hi everyone,

I’ve been struggling to boost the PayPal account of my friend Sarah in Gaza. Her account has been attacked by Zionists, so she’s using the PayPal account of her sister Reem in order to acquire funds for food—North Gaza is starving, please please consider donating whatever amount possible and sharing their account info + PayPal with others in order to help. The cruelty of this is obliterating the mental well-being let alone the physical wellness of Palestinians in Gaza as they’re exterminated on television and Twitter for us to watch. This is the last message she just sent me,

"I was crying all night, I could not sleep, and my child was sick and suffering from severe diarrhea. How long will our situation remain like this? I was living a wonderful life. The war destroyed our lives. Seriously, I have reached the point of despair. I cannot bear any more pressure. I am trying to protect and save my children, but I seem to be giving up."

Ya Allah, please help: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=Y4D9H4MGMHRHG

https://x.com/SarahEmad00 (this is Sarah’s X account for people to verify the PayPal/get in touch with her and ask for clips of Gaza with her doing a peace sign or whatever to make sure your donations are being sent to her.)

Jazakallah to everyone with a soul left after over a year of live-streamed mass murder after mass-murder, every single day of this wretchedly racist and genocidal world.

I only recently found this sub and have been frustrated at how whitewashed even mental health subs are.

White men do not know how to handle rejection or disappointment.

It's such a white people thing to assume you have an open invitation. They feel so comfortable getting in other people's space and making everything about themselves. If you don't give them open access, they feel entitled to lash out and even ruin your life. They're dangerous because they think everything should cater to them but get mad when that's not the case. This goes for acquaintances, people I thought were friends or even complete strangers.

POC don't have the luxury of assuming we belong everywhere.

Even the way some white people look down on you when they see you as different is dehumanizing. They see you as less than, will treat you like an object and will gaslight you if confronted. I'm so tired of people who abuse and discriminate but somehow find a way to play victim.

And it's not the stereotypical right wing ones, either. The "leftists" can be just as racist. They see POC/minorities as props. They'll speak FOR you like they know what's best but won't actually support you. They don't care about us, they only want to look good to other white people.

I can't deal with them anymore. Too many of them become unhinged and will harass you for years just because you rejected them or didn't make eye contact or didn't react the way they wanted. Because everything goes back to what THEY want. You don't matter to them.

I'm probably going to delete this.

(I’m a black female) I feel that whenever I intentionally or unintentionally upset others, I’m…severely punished for it emotionally. I feel that people feel that they do not owe me the comfort that comes with niceness, conflict resolution, simple acknowledgement etc. I feel that I’m always put in situations to regulate other people’s emotions. I’ve been in sooo many situations when I’ve taken people’s burst of anger head on, and they immediately calm down once they feel they’ve released it. Maybe what I’m describing is an emotional punching bag, but truly, I definitely feel the brunt of people’s anger during conflict. I’m not here to soothe anyone, but for whatever reason I’m constantly finding myself within those roles. I feel like I’m here to be drained and nothing more

A few hours ago I filed a police report and the officer who I told was so supportive and told me that what happened wasn’t my fault. He heard me out and it felt like he genuinely cared.

My earliest memory is of the police officer who escorted me out of my parent’s home when my dad was arrested for battering my mother. I remember him asking me to pick out a pair of shoes and complimenting the ones I chose. I remember him picking me up and carrying me outside on a misty cloudy day.

All throughout my childhood, my mom would call the police on me whenever she was upset with me. She would tell me to get out of the house and then call the cops to come find me. The officers would give me a ride home and told me to take it easy, do my homework and try not to upset her. They never raised their voices at me or mistreated me.

I know the relationship between Black folks and police is a tense one. At the same time, all these experiences made me feel like the police were the only ones I could trust. I used to be a BLM protestor and yell at cops in their faces when I was in college. I went to many protests and shouted ACAB whenever possible.

Now I realize that most people are not good people, and cops are just people. We can’t hold them to a higher standard than anyone else. They’re just human beings at the end of the day, and some of them are trying their best. IDK

I hear in white culture being “nice nasty”(being fake)is the way to go. But, in black American culture keeping it real is preferred. In black American culture I noticed we prefer to fight someone we have a issue with. But, in white culture they like to call the cops. What are differences you noticed?

Curious as to what the experiences of bipoc living in Europe are.

A few weeks ago I had a first session with a therapist. I just didn’t really feel the vibe. I didn’t feel like I was being validated and I probably kind of felt a bit judged. I know it was just one session, and my perception of things is probably distorted.

But in the meantime, I really have work to do, and my current situation is kind of ruining my life. I’m considering continuing seeing that therapist, since I haven’t found any others that are taking new clients at this time.

How do I really know if a therapist is a good match for me? I don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship in my life that had true intimacy so I don’t know what that feels like.

Any advice?

One of the major vibes I can get from people who are not used to dealing with diverse people and situations, is this: they can't stand that you are helping them.

It can be as simple as basic kindness, hospitality and basic help. There's someone driving and you offered to use maps from phone because their GPS isn't working. That person will say they don't need the help. Something tells me it's not other factors that made them decline the help. It's not in general they don't want the help, or that accepting intervention would complicate things, or that they have other preference and agenda. Out of many situations in life I do think there can be people who deep down do filter out certain people from helping them in certain situations.

I am not referring to incidences where bipoc professionals are not trusted to perform certain jobs. We know there are stories that bipoc doctors can be discriminated from patients because the patients cannot trust bipocs to handle the job...while these stories are true, this isn't what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about when the actual assistance and duties performed are apparent and undeniable, there are people who don't act out of distrust; they still don't want "you" to help.

Then it can escalate to other more significant areas in life like business when stakes are much higher. It's as though they can't stand you are in a position to help them out (they think they should be higher in the social hierarchy, and the fact that you are helping them implies they are lower. They don't have any problems with you performing the actual job but they react way too much to the idea that they are made to look bad in front of others. All of these lines of thought of course are just wrong on so many levels.)

The more egregious ones are people who would like to prevent you from moderate success (they can't let you display that you have something to offer to society.)

The most egregious ones are those who take advantage of you but I will leave this out of the discussion.

I dont know how else to explain this but there is some sort of brainwashing going on against minorities. If youve seen the movie Get Out its similar. I remember being a really skinny, reclusive kid (albeilt a bit weird/ annoying )who liked nerdy hobbies and yt people hated that. Yes I had myflaws but their tactics were aimed at systemocally destroying who I was as a person. In the span of a few years after relentless bullying I changed into a different person and nobody questioned that, every yt person was happy about it. I remember getting made fun of and aggressively bullied for how I looked and when I changed that I got bullied even more agressively, it got to the point that there was nothing left of the real me because if I acted like myself I would have gotten abused so badly by them. So what was left was a small soul remnant of who I was, and an outer shell completely molded into fitting who they wanted me to be. I felt like I wanted to scream for help and tear my shell off and tell them that wasnt me! It was horrifying.

At a certain point I was thinking, doing, talking, wearing, everything THEY wanted me to because the alternative was violence. I was trapped in my own body.

I’ve seen and heard them play victim in EVERY WAY, a person could possibly think of(harassing kids then, pretending to be scared of the kids). Including since now and the 2010s claiming to be “not white”. Or holding on to alittle percentage of non white that, they are mixed with(Especially the liberal white women types to gain “minority oppression points”). As a female who is ACTUALLY mixed 50%, not less than 50% this irritates me. I have heard in the US this has been going on since segregation, where white women started something with black people, then played victim. To get the cops or other whites to endanger black people. At this point I find them exhausting, to even associate with.

I've had this feeling for a while but I really needed to put it out there. I don't believe all Asians (specifically East Asians) are hardworking, intellectually superior to other races, keep to themselves, and are all upstanding citizens. Anyone can be any of these positive traits and it should not be attributed to one single race. The thing that most people (even black people) don't get is that the model minority myth was created by white men in the 1960s to disparage Black civil rights activists and Black social activism in the wake of the Civil Rights Movements as immigration from Asia started to increase. Like the suburbs, African-American ghettos, War on Drugs, mass incarceration, and the racial caste system, this is another phenonemon borne out of anti-black racism.

I often find the model minority myth a insidiuous form of anti-blackness that has not only been perpetuated by white educators especially and white media but also by Asians who internalize this myth and pride themselves on positive stereotypes. It makes me cringe. My white teachers would always but Asians (South, East, and Southeast) on a pedestal and put high expectations for their academic performance but would belittle me or single me out in class because I was the only black person in a room of mostly white and Asian people. These stereotypes are the reason that Black, Indigenous, and mestizo Latino people are historically underrepresented in STEAM because the model minority myth works against them and hurts their self-esteem and discourages them from pursuing post-secondary education. White educators will easily put White and Asian students in AP classes but suject black students to disability or special education classes which implies some sort of intellectual inferiority of black people (this has happened to multiple black people I know even though their grades are sufficient for regular or AP/IB classes).

This myth has also been perpetuated by my shitty immigrant parents who constantly compare my grades to Asians which is absolutely racist as fuck. I told an Iranian this and he laughed and said that "Asians are smart people" like wtf so can other races (especially those who are not white or Asian) not be intelligent that's insulting AF. These myths allow white and white-adjacent people to ignore the contributions to Black, Indigenous, and non-white Latino to the STEM field and I find it deeply disturbing and a form of black erasure in the

This myth seriously needs to be abolished and is not only harmful to Black, Indigenous, and non-white Latinos but has also encourages Asians to commit suicide at higher rates and devalue their mental health compared to their white counterparts. I said what I said. ABOLISH ALL STEREOTYPES INCLUDING THE SO-CALLED POSITIVE ONES.

I'm not saying don't discuss race at all but specifically don't talk about race with white people. I've seen too many racialized people open up their experiences with white people only to be gaslight or have white people go into full-blown debates about racism that they will never experience. You will only be subjected to gaslighting, minimization, fake-ass sympathy, laughter, discomfort, white tears, and glares. It is not the responsibility of racialized folks to educate white people on racism. It's not your responsibility at all. You shouldn't be forced into an activist position when you're already experiencing race-based stress. Educating white people on racism is emotional labour that you should not sign up for. They should be educating themselves on the racial caste system. There are so many learning resources out there created for Black, Asian, Indigenous, and mixed-race people (Latinos included) but they won't give a fuck to learn the history at all.

Racism and colorism were constructed by white people and they inherited the benefits of their ancestors' racism instead of dismantling the racist-colourist caste system, making them just as unethical as their ancestors.

I seriously regret bringing up race with one of my white female co-workers because she ended up being fake as fuck and saying in the most apathetic voice ever while on her phone: "Sigh. It's so sad what women and people of colour go through" while not making any eye contact with me.

I'm saying this from personal experience that these people lack empathy. They talk a big game about Ukraine but completely ignored the Rwandan genocide and don't give a fuck about Palestine, Lebanon, Congo, and South Sudan. Do not talk about race with white people.

I lie on my bed 3 am in the morning absolutely loathing my existence as a person. I get no fucking validation from anyone, not my peers or my fucking friends, not even my own group I get validation from. Every post or advice i've been given or seen about racism has been the same fucking shit, i'm tired it. I can't trust anyone anymore, I don't feel confident in my own body because I hate the person I see in the mirror, no matter what I FUCKING DO I will never get respect never get the emotional support I need all because of my fucking skin and heritage. No one give a damn about my people not even my own people give a damn about us, every time we relaliate or do something we're always villainized, mercifully mocked and belittled by fucking everyone I can't stand this shit. I feel like I don't deserve to enjoy the same media as everyone else because i'm a mixed race subhuman who will never be loved or respected, I'll always get called slurs when I try to connect with people, they'll secretly seclude themselves from me because all I am to them is an ugly excuse of a Human being. I hate seeing my people, I hate seeing my family and being constantly reminded of my fucking skin, I hate everything about myself because no matter what I fucking do i'll never be respected, I'll never be able to give my people a good name because I'm not good enough. And every time I feel slight happiness I have to remind myself that I am not worthy of being happy and proceed to doomscrolling some more to remind myself that you will always be seen as nothing but a laughing stock for other people to feel better for themselves. And the worst part is I'm not even a bad person, I used to get along with people just fine, i'm pretty much just as American as everyone else, but then hate just increased suddenly one day and now I'm stereotyped as the root of all evil because of my skin? I fucking HATE IT and it's only made my self hatred grow as well as my distrust with everyone. I'm just fucking sick and tired of all this bullshit, people tell me you should cherish your life but what's the point when you're always wrong, you're always the villain, you're always the problem, you're always a liability, you're always inferior, you're always ugly, undesirable, unlikable, a joke, disrespected, mocked, and not even cared about? And I know I wouldn't be acting like this if I wasn't mixed and that always hurts the fucking most. This is gods way of punishing me and i'm just gonna get punished more when I die and rot in hell, I was never deserved to be loved in the first place and God knew right from the beginning by making me mixed, I completely give up.