Hey all, me again. New lesbian, first wlw relationship. Context that’s important: I’m almost positive my partner has NPD… meets almost all criteria and the NEED for excessive admiration is insane! Anyway, I see this chapter closing, but as much as there has been gaslighting, I always question myself because I’m new to the community. The point: I have a high sex drive and I find my partner very physically attractive. They’ve expressed that I’m “like a dude” for getting turned on easily. I don’t like that. I listen and respect wanting privacy, not wanting sex just when we kiss etc. We have sex maybe once a month. Tonight they called me a dude because we made out and I had more energy. Like wtf dude… ok? I enjoy making out with you! They said I have a lot of masculine qualities and approach intimacy in a masculine way probably from being with men. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells because idk what else to do. They said I should watch more lesbian movies/ have experience to understand it. Am I crazy? Any feedback is appreciated. Important note: they’ve told me I’m not great in bed, that they want me to practice on other women but don’t want me having sex with anyone else 🫠

I have never had a crush on women before and i am currently in a relationship with a man. I’ve had crushes on non-binary dudes before so would that even consider being pan or is there some other thing idk about

So, i am 14 years old male, and in the last month or so i started thinking about the eventuality of me being bisexual, since i started to notice that i feel attracted to boys as well as girls. Before this period, i remember clearly to have felt attraction over other guys, even if i denied it to myself and ignore it, since i wanted to be a “cool kid”, so be considered straight. (ik it’s stupid) My question is: Is it too soon to come out as bisexual?

Before asking how do i come out and stuff like that (and ì certainly will) i just want to assure that it’s a good time to take this big step. Thanks for who’ll answer :)

Coming out & moving out.

Hello all, throwaway account as to be safer than sorry. Also, using a phone, so i hope formatting comes out alright.

This Monday, i plan to send out a letter to the members within my (very religious, openly homophobic) household, coming out. i have already gotten a lease for a new place to live, and have let the my family members know, in the note, that I am safe and elsewhere. Just until they can come to terms with the fact that im not straight. Even though i do assume they have suspected. I have a younger sibling who i love more than anything, and my heart really breaks that I have to do this. I just genuinely cannot hide who i am anymore. I can’t live a double life. And i know that this is for the best, and if she comes around, she does. If she doesn’t, oh well. It hurts but what can I do.

Growing up in a very controlling household, this is all very new for me. I am 21 years old, so am able to do this all and well, and have lived away before (but in a college dorm setting, and with coming back every weekend). I’m nervous. I’m scared. I know im doing the right thing but I feel so torn. I spent years building up my relationship with my family, and while it’s the best it’s ever been, I can’t handle or take the mental load of living two lives.

Please, wish me luck.

Is there anything I have missed doing? Has anyone been through anything similar? I’m so nervous. I know i’m doing the right thing, but still.

So basically I’m really tired of hiding things. I really want to tell my mum that I’m ace and that I really want femboy clothes but I already know she doesn’t like all that stuff. But at the same time I know she’s really loving and I know she’ll be disappointed but maybe she will understand. Is it worth it if I already know she won’t like it? I just don’t like hiding at all… plus I want clothes so bad!

Im studying abroad and she came to visit me for a week, I lived in a 3rd world country where homosexuality wasn’t illegal but it wasn’t socially accepted and my family comes from a religious background, she isn’t super religious and has had a friend at work that is gay which makes me feel comfortable coming out to her but it still freaks me out and idk how to do it. I wanna come out to her today since it’s her last day here and I would prefer coming out face to face than via text. The problem is idk how to start the conversation about my sexuality (I’m 20M Bi btw) and what to say afterwards or what to do if everything goes south

Okay, so l'm F(23) and I'm trying to figure out if I'm the problem in my dating life and I actually like girls not guys. I know that sexuality is a spectrum, so l'm not overly concerned with labeling myself but I wanted advice on how to go about this little self discovery. I've had a crush on two girls before, it's never gone anywhere, but I've noticed that l've never felt such intense feelings about guys before. It seems like it's offensive to go about being "bi-curious" and engage with other women who know they are gay and I'm the one that is not as sure. At least that's what l've learned from internet discussions lol. I just want to figure myself out in a way that isn't going to harm others, but also give me self assurance in my sexuality. Hopefully that makes sense, please help lolololol

hi. i am eighteen and a trans guy. i came out to my mum and my sibling over two years ago and then again on my seventeenth birthday. they have been using he/him pronouns and my new name at home since then. last weekend, we decided to tell the other people in my family. my mum did it for me at my request. my grandparents had already kind of figured it out a few weeks ago but she told them again and explained more. my cousin as well as my mum's siblings took it all right, i guess. i don't really know about my uncle but i will have to see (he is difficult anyway). seeing them react the way they did was pretty encouraging because even though they said some weird things it was just because they don't know much about the topic. i don't hold it against them. my mum also texted my dad to finally tell him as well. i haven't yet because i don't live with him and see him once a week at most. i hadn't figured out the right time yet. he hasn't responded at all but texted back when my sibling asked him something. i don't know what is going on or why he isn't saying anything at all.

sorry for the long backstory. has anyone been through something like this? i have no idea what to do. thank you.

I 14m have been struggling with my sexuality for a while now, and I just don’t know how to feel about it, I wanna be held by a boy and kiss a boy but I don’t know if it’s what I really want, I have a girlfriend 13f who I love very much though I’m slowly starting to lose feelings, I like boys but I love my girlfriend and I just need help/ advice

guy 26. not many ive told or know who to talk about this, but came out demi-gay few years ago to myself. made sense, cuz havent had a girlfriend ever, never been interested. tho also never been in a relashionship in my life. i do deeply want a partner but dont know how or why i havent it in me. dont have any lgbt people in my life to talk to about it. but i am happy with myself with my sexuality and my fantasies.

I'm 22m and I like guys. I think. Idk. I have a 22f girlfriend I've been with for 3 years and I love her soooo much but I think sexualy I'm attracted to men and idk if I can keep up a physical relationship with her and not have any men in my life. I would hate to loose her but sexualy I think I need a man. I'm just really unsure of what to do. I tried to tell her this and she said she would peg me but it's just not the same. She is the love of my life but idk if I can keep this up. And I don't evan know if I am gay. I like guys but I don't know if I could be in a long term relationship with one. What should I do. Any advice would be great please 🙏. Dms open for a chat if u have time.

I'm a 29M, I'm gay and have no idea how to approach it. I've known since I've been in highschool and since about 20 I've been DL on Grindr and other sites. I have a guilt like I'm going to make people upset by coming out and idk why. Like why do I care that other night hate me. Why can't I let myself be happy. I wanna have a boyfriend and live that gay life but I feel like I sabotage myself. The only person who knows is my doctor because of STD tests and PreP

This is going to be vent-y

I've (22) been questioning my gender for years, it's been an inkling on my brain since I was a young kid constantly feeling out of place in my body. A year or two ago, it really solidified in my head that I'm transmasc, teetering on being a guy and enby. I felt relief with that information, but now I'm unsure, and all the doubt I thought I'd work past has come back.

I've kind of talked about this with a handful of friends, but I think my issue is I'm just not in a place to transition so I think knowing that information and being stuck as physically and socially the same is jarring to me. I want to tell my brother, he's hard headed but more open minded to trans stuff than my parents are and at least more willing to keep a secret.

Would it be selfish of me to come out to him? Or a dumb thing to do? He's 18, about to graduate high-school, I kept that I'm queer from him because I didn't want put that sort of stress on him when we both live with our extremely bigoted parents. Especially when he was a minor. Should I just hold it in?

I'm in a weird point in my life where I don't think I'll be leaving this house any time soon, I'm autistic and life is hard because of that. I pay bills but I don't know. I just really want someone in my family to know, but he's really my only option.

I've tried to tell him a few times, but it's extremely hard to talk about verbally for me, and all these thoughts are in my head. And what about this doubt? What if I put him through that stress then all of a sudden I find out I'm not trans, or that I'm a different kind of trans? I don't want him to doubt me, or for this to be all for nothing, or for it to be complicated.

I have no idea, any words of advice would be welcome. Thank you for reading.

Edit: I will add that a month ago I went through an extremely bad head space, and I kept thinking that if I was to die I at least wanted someone to know.

I want to come out to my mom as lesbian, because I am 90% sure I am. The thing is that I am only 13 years old and the other 10% percent is constantly making me question if I am or not. I feel like if I come out, there is no going back and I will be stuck as lesbian forever. It's okay to change sexuality if you realize you were wrong the first time, right? Or should I just wait until I am completely certain to come out?

As the title states, I'm so afraid to come out. I've known I was queer for the last decade [Late 20s M]. I've never openly dated queer until now. I've had some flings with other dudes, nbs, and trans folk during an experimental phase but I've only ever dated in heteronormative appearing relationships with cis women. For all intents and purposes my family thinks I am 100% straight. I came out to my mother once in 2017 but I was not in my right mind at that time (I was high on drugs during a rough time in life) and it was never brought up again. Fast forward to now, I recently started dating a wonderful trans woman who makes me really happy. We consider our relationship to be straight however given the fact that we are two queer people in a relationship it is also a queer relationship. I live with my mother right now due to some life circumstances and she's taken notice that I've been going out to hangout with a new friend. I've told her I'm seeing a woman that I'm interested in but have not elaborated any further details. I'm not looking to out anyone however my girl is openly trans and I am very proud that she is in my life. I don't really want to keep the secret from my family that I am queer, and it really is only a matter of time that I will have to come out especially if I continue to date in queer relationships. I need some serious help because I think about coming out every day and it feels like there is the weight of the world on my shoulders. Any help would be great.

I’m a cis male, 18, currently enrolled in college as a freshman about to finish my second semester, and I’m bisexual. This label has been more of a recent discovery after years of questioning. My sexuality has always been something I was never too sure of, even though I always said I was straight. While at college, I met a group of friends mostly composed of girls, and when the topic of past relationships came up, so did sexuality. And when it was mine turn to share, it was like time stopped for a second, and I decided to say I was bisexual. I think I felt every recoverable emotion at that point, and even after, I never felt too comfortable with them. Skipping ahead now, I’ve come out to both my friends at college and those that are close to me at home, and that leaves my parents. My parents have always leaned to the left politically and have always been very accepting and understanding with me and my experiencing, like getting diagnosed with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder in my sophomore year of high school. I’m not too sure why, but even though I have a feeling they would accept me for who I am, I’m still terrified. Even though I shouldn’t, I feel most shame at the thought of telling them. I know that I should never change myself at the expense of others, especially when it comes to something as important as sexuality, but I’m just so scared. In the last with anything secret, I know it can help to be open and bring it out of the dark. I’m hoping that anyone has ever experienced something even remotely similar can chime in and offer any advice or what happened when they came out to their parents. I know I have to tell them at some point, and this is eating away at me. -Thanks

As the title says, this is me trying to come out for the third time. I tried in person, didn’t go well. I tried through email, received a borderline hateful email back from my dad and a self-centering sad one from my mom. I’m thinking about trying to open a dialogue with my mom, maybe starting with something similar to “you make me feel unseen and upset when you refer to me as a girl”. I’ve been feeling really dysphoric around them recently because it’s the only place I get treated like and referred to as a girl now.

I would really appreciate some advice on how to go about this, and maybe some help phrasing my first message?

For context, I am 20yr old trans gay man in college with a boyfriend. Thank you in advance.

I like this boy and I think he might like me back. I told my dad abt it but I keep chickening out w/ my mom. I’ve never told them I liked someone before so this is my “first crush”. My dad said my mom thinks I like girls and fem people, but I like male and masculine people. I don’t know how to tell them and I’d really appreciate advice!

So I (15m) just came out gay to my bestie and she was very supportive, she was a little sad because she liked me, but she understands, infact she is helping me get with a guy I've had a crush on for a while!! I was also thinking about telling some close friends but idrk how well they'll react, most of my friend group are pretty homophobic, or at least act homophobic, I'm not really sure if i should tell them. My biggest fear is my parents, they're a little (a lot) homophobic which tears me to pieces, it puts me in a terrible mental state when I think about it. Who should I trust to tell?

I'm genderfluid and closeted to everyone. My aunt is bi and I feel like I should try and come out to her. Do you have any ideas?

Hey guys. I (23F) came out as bi to my first family member tonight, which was my grandma and I told her I no longer talk to 'that one girl' and she said it sucks how we drifted apart and I said that it's not really fixable. So she replied that I can tell her about it whenever I want to, so no pressure there and I just jumped into it and told her the whole story and that I was actually dating 'that one girl' for two years and that we broke up a month ago. But that I still like men and women. And she said that it's only important to live life true to yourself regardless of what others think. And that she holds no judgement whatsoever. I'm still shaking. But it took massive weight off me. Feeling very vulnerable about telling her but she's always been very supportive so I'm alright.

So me and my partner (mtf) where at a friend's birthday party yesterday. My partner is about to start hormones and wasn't out to many people. (Me and her sister) She got drunk yesterday and came out as trans to some of our friends that were there, they're all supportive. (Yay!) But in doing so, she felt like the need to explain that I'm ace-spec and biromantic to everyone without thinking to ask me first. She apologised and I understand why she did it. But I wish that she kind of gave me the opportunity to tell them on my own terms, or at least made sure I was part of the conversation. It made me feel like an afterthought, as though my own coming out wasn't as important as hers. It feels worse because I've been keeping her being trans a secret for over a year now -- taking care to watch my mouth, especially when I've been drinking. I don't know it just doesn't feel fair and I know I said I was thinking of coming out to more people (I'm only out in work) but I just wished she'd asked me if it was okay.

Kinda acts like nothings different only when someone makes a shitty gay joke that is rarely funny they laugh then look at me for second like idiots. I feel like I’m not friends with anyone just hang around I don’t like talking anymore I find my self just daydreaming about loads of random stuff everyday. I’m gonna try and have a conversation about how these 2 people knew I was coming out before I did (i recorded it and heard them lol) and it actually feels harder than coming out because i don’t like them that much anymore because of how they’re kinda cold with me and I feel more vulnerable somehow tbh i recommend everyone to come out but it is what it is straight teenagers are immature and insecure and if u don’t have any best friends it’s hard

I was here like 3 months ago asking about advice coming out as trans to my theater instructor. That went successfully and smoothly so I'm happy with that, but when I came out to her I didn't tell her a new name or anything because I didn't have an idea for one. She and my friends just called me by my nickname. I was thinking about it and finally found a name I liked and now I'm stressing again becuse I don't know how to tell her about it. I promised myself I would tell her this and not write it in a note or something. What should I do??

I'm a closeted bisexual male who is in his mid twenties. I want to come out to my mother, but I don't know if I should. My parents are recently divorced, although they still speak. I was raised in a homophobic Christian environment and was home schooled. I have ASD and ADHD and was not treated for them growing up. This caused severe issues in my life, which I am now trying to solve. I am currently on waiting lists to see a psychiatrist and psychotherapist for these issues.

I currently live with my father, but I'm hoping to move back in with my mother in the near future. My father is openly homophobic, and my mother gives me mixed signals, which confuse me greatly. Sometimes I wonder if she already knows, if she is probing me, or if I'm overthinking things. She was openly homophobic in the past, although that may have been due to my father's influence. She has said on several occasions that she will love me no matter what. However, when I probed by mentioning that one of my friends is gay, she didn't react positively. Specifically, she said that homosexuality was "against God's will."

Strangely, my mother had no issue when we had lesbian neighbors. In fact, she approved, saying that she was "happy for them." I find the juxtaposition in her beliefs particularly confusing. I believe that her beliefs have softened over time, although I cannot be fully certain. In the past, she has wondered why homosexuality exists if God is against it. She appears conflicted in her faith, and moves churches often. In regard to my issues, she has not fully accepted that I am disabled, which makes me doubt that she will accept my sexuality. If she cannot accept that I have mental health issues, then why would she accept that I'm bisexual?

I'm currently in a long distance relationship and plan to meet my boyfriend in Europe in several months. My boyfriend's mother knows about our relationship and is fully accepting of him and us, which makes me want to tell my own mother. When I told my mother I planned to visit my "friend", she was happy and asked me more about him. I was careful what I told her. I am not at all financially independent, and neither is my boyfriend. The worst case scenario if I'm rejected by my mother is homelessness.

Hi guys, before I write anything I know I'm gonna get backlash but please I know doing drugs are bad and I'm planning to stop. But not everyone knows my full story so before you judge me for doing drugs just know I try my best. But I M15 had to come out to my mom today. She found out I do drugs and we had a conversation. No yelling. No screeching. Just tears and a lot of care for each other and reassurance. She asked how I started doing them and I went in a rabbit hole about me being SA'd by a family member and how he made me try his vape. Basically he made me try his vape but he SA'd me before and I was scared to tell my mom anything because I was scared he was gonna tell everyone I'm gay because I let him SA me. Me and him are cool now. Anyway when I mentioned the part where I said I was scared he was gonna tell people I'm gay. She asked. "Are you? Gay?" my heart dropped and everything. I just became still then I got lost in my old memory where my mom said she would slap me if I turned out to be gay when I was like 9. I ended up telling her the real truth. "No, I"m Bi-Sexual. I like men and women" She said she understands and she can't change me. She supports me Yay!!! But guys I feel so bad. Obviously she didn't WANT me to be gay or anything like that but hey it's life and we should all move on. I also told her about my boyfriend she doesn’t mind that either. Obviously this is such a relief. I’m only sad because I got caught doing drugs. Me being Bi doesn’t matter to her it’s my usage of drugs. I feel bad because I'm such a disappointment I do drugs. I lie. I'm failing HighSchool. I made my mom think she was the problem. The cherry on top? I'm gay. But hey. That’s my view on it she can have a completely different perspective. For all I know she could be happy I’m focusing on school instead of drugs and the fact that I finally came out and gave her my trust. If you wanna come out to anyone. I say do it! I only feel guilt because I did something bad that could potentially ruin my relationship with my mom which was drugs! Being bisexual didn’t have anything to do with that. I wish you all the best of luck!!

Edit: We had another conversation this time more about the drugs but she still supports me. I’m gonna come out to my stepdad next and tell him about the drugs too. Then my uncle. Then grandma. I’d rather have them find out from me than from other weird people like my biological dad who just wants me to have the worst life ever. Also thank you so much for everyone for congratulating me. Your stories and everything make me feel so happy. Now I know I’m not alone on this and I won’t be!

• Anonymous 15 year old.

ive always been out to immediate family especially ever since my girlfriend was in the picture (4 years).

ive always had support from specific family members, and others have sussed it out regardless.

but my gay cousin (30) just died, and we held his funeral here on the reservation. it was mass religious and some guy even took it upon himself to mini preach some way to god. in the respects of the families religion, i understand why this may be the case. but what i didnt understand was how no one was acknowledging how he was a proud gay man.

so i took it upon myself. he was the person who gave me my first pride flag. i suppose he sussed me out too lol. we never got to connect but i feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders only for a new one to be added on. while doing so i lowkey came out too. i didnt blatantly state it but it happened and ppl could tell.

being a woman and my girlfriend is trans masc so they look like a man. i was easily able to hide under this mask and never really had to truly express myself in front of others. but just then, i came out to essentially a lot of people within my community.

suddenly i understood what it was like to be my cousin, who couldn't hide under the mask that i had, or any other openly gay person out there too.

after what i did, i was told twice by two different people that i was brave. i was told by many that my words spoke to them. i was appreciated for simply acknowledging who my cousin was as a person, and myself too.

at first i didnt get the idea of being brave, because i was simply doing what i felt was right.

but now that ive processed everything... im scared.

im scared despite having support. im not sure why. ive always been secluded and not everyone knew my name, but i then did something really bold for the sake and justice of my cousin who deserved better. his family was not so accepting of him, and his brothers even beat him up once for being gay alone.

idk im just. still processing everything. i lowkey wish i didnt go to the funeral at all. but I did. and here we are.

I want to come out but I’m scared to. Would I be better off if I was forced out?