Hi fellow collapsnik parents!

I was hoping to open up a conversation about things you’ve done recently (or ongoing, or a proud moment) in preparing for the slow collapsing we’re already witnessing while both protecting and preparing our kids.

My husband and I work hard to steady our own anxieties and reactions vs actions, to teach by example how kiddo can behave calmly in an emergency to get done what needs to get done. Proud moment a couple weeks ago: my husband had a partial seizure. We both have migralepsy, so we know the drill, but we have done a great job preventing them lately over the last few years. Kiddo hasn’t witnessed a bad one in a while, was probably too young to remember. They did a great job calmly rushing to help me stabilize him. Then understandably cried after, once they could see he was stabilizing. It was a beautiful amount of focus I rarely see from them.

I’m really struggling the past week with stress about feeding my kids now and into the future. I make a good living but groceries are outrageous. We live paycheck to paycheck. I saw a video of a kid in Gaza with a swollen belly licking an empty plate and it broke my heart. I’m in a parent group for family’s of modest means (almost 100% American and Canadian members) and someone posted the question, how are folks affording groceries and any suggestions?

Comment after comment was parents saying that they are skipping meals so their kids can eat. They’ve done everything they can, meal planning, food pantries, sale shopping, no meat, etc. and they can no longer feed themselves and have to prioritize feeding their kids.

This is so incredibly fucked up in two of the richest countries in the world. Putting this together with how hot the growing season is likely going to be is really making me freaked out. I’m so worried about the price of food going up even more with crop failures due to drought.

I’m in the process of trying to move to a homestead that I am buying from a friend of a friend (if I can find a new job in the area). So I’m doing everything I can for my family but we won’t be able to grow any food this year because we’d be moving in the summer at the earliest. Far beyond that, I’m worried and heartbroken about all the suffering that’s coming, it’s already here for some people and it’s going to get so much worse. It’s so not theoretical anymore

New years anxiety. As an American living in a red state, I'm terrified for 2024.

I feel like 2023 is the last normal year before shit hits the fan politically, globally, and for our climate. I have a young child and I have so much despair over the world he is going to grow up in. I'm terrified that we will be in a dictatorship in less than 10 years and I'm fearful of the violence next year will bring. The MAGA people around me in Arizona are completely unhinged. So much so that no one puts any kind of sticker or flag or anything that supports anything other than trump because they are armed, violent and have damaged people's property, assaulted people, and we are #1 for road rage. This year especially in Arizona is going to be horrible. I'm dreading it so much.

It got so much worse after I learned about Project 2025. What they openly plan on doing and the rights, freedoms and protections (both for humans and the environment) they plan on destroying.

We had a huge saguaro cactus die off this year because this summer was the hottest on record ever. So hot it killed thousands of ancient cacti. It's just going to keep getting hotter. We are running out of water. I'm seriously trying to convince my husband to gtfo before it's too late. But easier said than done when your roots are here and your financial ties are here. There is no denying climate change. But I'm surrounded by ignorant people with their huge trucks and small minds who think climate change is a hoax and are willing to doom my child and everyone else's child including their own to suffocate on a dying planet.

There is so much tension and it's feeling very pre nazi germany. I have a horrible gut feeling for the state of the US and world and it's destroying me. My friends are LBGTQ and POC and I am so fearful what their future looks like.

I have no hope for my son's future on a planet that is burning with such a volatile political atmosphere. I have so much guilt dooming him to this world. He's so innocent. He's only 4. I fear he will not grow up in a free country, I fear he will not grow old and will die early from climate change, war or both. I fear he will never be able to chase his dreams or have a family or will feel this horrible hopelessness that I do for his entire life.

This anxiety is eating me alive and no amount of therapy or meds can fix it because it's factual and real and what I'm seeing isn't just in my mind. This is the world we have now. This is the world we doomed our children for.

This is the last good year. That was the last normal Christmas. The last year of happiness and innocence and safety. Good bye 2023.

Tomorrow will never be the same.

My main goal in life is for my kids to be safe and happy, probably like many of you all.

I am trying to think of what things I can keep in mind for a Lebanon-like situation in the US, if it comes to that. Or even smaller disturbances, like power outages and days without running water. I am prepping in whatever little ways I can given the space and lifestyle limitations of our home. But I am just trying to brainstorm ways I can keep a sense of stability and joyfulness for my children going forward. Help me brainstorm. Here is my list so far.

• Ample opportunities to connect with other people in our community. Children and adults. Help them see the same faces over and over. Talk to people with dogs. Know people by name. Help them have a sense of place and belonging.
• As they get older, have them help with prepper stuff and daily chores. Setting up water filtration stations. Cooking without electricity. Learning the basics of gardening and foraging. This helps them feel useful and kids have a natural desire to learn the skills that will be helpful to them as adults.
• Create a beautiful environment as much as possible. Look for cheap things you can string together to create a place they want to be indoors if the outdoors is inaccessible.

Other ideas?

My son is almost 2.5 yrs old and this past week he's been helping me (as much as a toddler can help) with lots of garden activities. He stepped on flower seeds to press them down, held berry and tree seedlings while I filled their holes for transplanting and used his small watering can to help me water them. The transformation in what he is capable of over the past year has been amazing to watch.

I'm sure there's a bunch of other parents here that are teaching their kids skills and I'd love to hear about them. I think it would help give eachother ideas of activities to do with our kids that will be both fun and helpful for them.

Came across this thread a week or so ago, figured it’d be good to sift through and find the parents in there so we can direct them to this place and get them support.

https://www.reddit.com/r/collapse/comments/wxncnx/collapse_and_kids/

Hey everyone. I saw that the top and only mod had locked the sub from posting and had theirself not been on in months, so I made a request. Hopefully we can get this sub back to a decent level of activity and engagement like we had before, I was enjoying the content here and thought it was pretty good. If anyone would like to be a mod let me know!

Hi, first time Reddit poster. Couple things. 1. I know none of you know me from Adam. 2. I want to acknowledge upfront the position of privilege this question is coming from.

Here’s my question:

Do we move our family to the country now-ish, or do we stay in our urban area and use our country options as emergency backup plans only?

Now some additional info. Kids are 9 and 13. We currently live in a nice, low-cost-of-living midwestern city with cultural opportunities, decent schools, an acre, a river across the street, friends, sports, all the status quo American life trappings.

We have rural family land available to us in either northern Ohio or western Ohio. Both have family homes, and we could also build at either location. Husband and I are lucky enough to be able to continue doing our jobs (for as long as they exist) from anywhere.

We are avid gardeners with some entry-level homesteading skills. I could quit my job (again, as long as jobs are a thing) to focus on homesteading full time.

The land in northern Ohio is preferable: 20 acres on a large hill, lots of trees, a well and a spring. 3 hours from our current home. “Culture” = zero (I know, rural life has its own culture, but …). Kids would likely be homeschooling for a variety of reasons (we did it one year for Covid reasons, and it went well). I don’t know what kind of social opportunities I could provide. The 13-yr-old wouldn’t mind the isolation as much, but maybe needs social interaction more. The 9-yr-old might hate the isolation.

The land in western Ohio is closer to bigger towns, is farmed currently, has a large creek running through it, hundreds of acres. 30 minutes from our current home.

We could (plan to) stay where we are until kids graduate high school (2032), only using land as emergency planning. Reassess in ‘32 if that’s even an option by then. Or we could “collapse now, avoid the rush.”

Kids are happy where we are. They have a lot of “status quo opportunities” here. They are also fairly adaptable. But ultimately I don’t want to get caught thinking too short-term and have it cost us in our personal safety.

Other random info: have also considered buying in northern Michigan or in western North Carolina. But it would be more expensive and less familiar.

Any/All thoughts from this community so appreciated.

Be well, Erin

Curious if anyone has thoughts on how many kids to have with collapse very likely occuring in our lifetimes. I would really like to have kids still, and prepare them for a different (but still enjoyable) world post collapse

The obvious number for many collapse-aware is "0" due to collapse. Or "as few as possible" to limit the resource burden an extra human creates and is the single biggest thing you can do to reduce your carbon footprint

However, we are collapse aware. We know life will drastically change in our lifetimes and post collapse will look nothing like life today. And that personal action and "carbon footprint" means essentially nothing - we are barrelling towards collapse regardless of how many kids we have. So with that, I feel more is actually better. More people to help provide, defend, and support eachother. Though it is more mouths to feed and provide for

I feel maybe something like 3/4 is a good number to achieve these things. And of course family is not a substitute for community, which I don't currently have, but intend to prioritize in coming years

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Soooo thoughts? Am I completely wrong?

My kiddo is very sensitive to heat over 80F and often gets heat exhaustion. We recognize their "tells" (bright red, very irritable, slows down) and are good at catching it early. They're getting great at it as well and even packed extra water and re-hydration packets for forest camp where they were outside all day in 95+ degree weather.

My question is; with this heat occuring more often and for longer every year, and without hiding in the basement during the heatwaves, is there any way to help them train their body to function better in these temperatures? Or should we just head North?

Especially those with little girls? How do you explain to them, they just lost the rights to control their own bodies? With Roe vs Wade being over turned, I’m fucking pissed. But how do I explain to my girls this? They are 5 and 6. Hubby already agreed that we will be moving in the next few years, to a better state. My state has a trigger law on pause, but the republicans running for governor already stated they want to get rid of the pause and even go as far as banning birth control. I’m hoping by February I can still get my hysterectomy, after this baby is born. I’m actually hoping so bad this one is a boy.

A few months back I posted here wrestling with my guilt over getting pregnant unintentionally in light of the impending collapse. This community was insightful and kind enough to share perspectives and fears from fellow parents.

I had the baby this week; drowning in the baby blues, attempted to get ahead of this ppd/ppa by seeing someone 3 months ahead and twice a week now but every bit of news feels overwhelming. From floods in China, to the famine in Madagascar, 48% of birds dying in the last 50 years, insect population decline, the potential “hothouse earth” scenario sooner than anticipated, 1.5 degrees by 2030, inflation, expected violence around the 2024 elections in the USA…

The list goes on and on. I can’t help but think my children will not get full lives and my 4 yo is consistently talking about what she will do when she grows up and I keep having the intrusive thought of “if”.

I don’t know how to process all this, like I said pursuing professional help but I feel like every day could be our last. How do other parents view these things and cope? How do you not worry for your kids every second?

We drafted up a will when our first was born. We selected an uncle/aunt to have custody of our children in the case we pass away. This was about ten years ago. Since then I've become "collapse aware" and now I'm wondering if we should update our will based of locating our children in a collapse resistant area. The ones we picked originally are in Arizona! But their temperament is most similar to ours.

Hello everyone!

First time poster, and so glad to find this subreddit. I've been a sometime-participant on r/collapse, and while it's very valuable, there's a strong strain of Mad Max fantasizing over there that can sometimes be a bit much.

So... my wife and I have two kids (3 and 8), and are living in the middle of the continental United States. We've been insulated from a lot, but it's very much living on an island - 30 minutes out and we're in militant Trumpland, complete with the new and scary flags (the Montessori school we drive our oldest to for one-day-a-week nature school just north of the KC airport has a Thin Blue Line flag flying, which it most certainly did not have last summer). In even a low-key civil war/civil unrest situation, we are screwed (we have an interracial family with a daughter who is obviously a target for white nationalists).

The day of Trump's inauguration speech, I started the process to confirm citizenship in another country based on my mom being from there, and got it later that year. Because of Covid and Trump's moves toward staying in power (and amplified by January 6), I applied for permanent residency for my wife and kids there, and after a year and a half long process, got that too. I have a job I'm working remotely in that country, and will be relocating in the next 60 days. Showings on our house start tomorrow.

Here's the question - I have a gnawing sense that this may not be our final destination, as we're landing in the part of that country in a 6-10 hour driving range from the in-laws (the kids love their grandparents). And the United States is a hungry beast - I don't expect columns of tanks driving through border crossings anytime soon, but I could very easily see some hardcore bullying and the like. My kids are obsessed with "The Sound of Music" and the Anschluss backstory has gotten more nerve-wracking over time.

So where - if anywhere - should we be looking for an ultimate destination? We want a place where our kids can grow up in some degree of safety and sanity. Social cohesion and support is near the top of the list, as well as a somewhat-competent regional or national government that's not explicitly predatory on the populace (which frankly rules out most of the United States). I'm not a believer in near-term human extinction or the more theatrical versions of collapse - I expect a bumpy decay, much like what has been seen throughout human history. In that scenario, where trade slowly declines, migration increases, and a lot of the infrastructure of the modern world such as the Internet or air travel become luxuries or perogatives of the ruling class only, where would be place(s) in the world that might maintain some of the good stuff of civilization - towns, healthcare, democracy, some degree of education - with livable climates and some degree of ability to produce food, as well as a minimum of heavily-armed neighbors who might decide they'll take what they need?

Basically, where can we make the best life for our kids and (God willing) grandkids, given the circumstances?

Thanks for any comments!

Hi, I'm here to ask for advice from fellow collapse-aware parents. I'm a single mother to a 3 year old daughter with behavior problems that I don't know how to resolve. First, she's incredibly destructive. She regularly destroys my personal belongings, tries to break my glasses, makes huge messes with food and drinks, tries to flood the bathroom. The list is never ending. She has plenty of toys but refuses to play with them and when she does, she intentionally breaks them.

Second, she refuses to follow instructions. Most of the time she won't even respond to her own name. Any request is met with tantrums, screaming, spitting, or hitting. If you tell her not to do something, she will immediately go do it. Explaining why she shouldn't or can't is met with a blank stare and then she does it anyway. I can hardly take her out in public because she won't behave.

I take her outside to play as often as I can to tire her out, but that gets difficult to do in summer because it's normally over 100°F where we live. We used to go to a local playground regularly until it got too hot. She likes to socialize, but she doesn't seem to understand that not every kid wants to play. Lately she has been squaring up with other kids for no reason and most recently she very nearly harmed a baby.

I'm at my wits end. I grew up in a rural farming community where children were expected to be quiet and follow instructions the first time because lives and livelihoods could depend on it. I don't know how to instill that in my daughter. I don't want to do it the same way that I was brought up because beating your kids until they comply is not ok. Her ability to survive collapse depends on her listening to me. How do I make that happen?

Thanks for listening.

I keep reading how many people in Shanghai were told to prepare for 5 days of quarantine within their homes. And then it turned out to be much longer. People are struggling to attain enough food and even clean drinking water. Apparently boiling the tap water there isn’t always enough because of the heavy metals? I don’t have sources on that, but have seen many say it. Some are saying they aren’t even allowed to go outside to walk their dogs.

This is the main reason I prep. Just in case I have to stay at home and can’t leave, whether it’s for personal reasons or natural disaster, etc that prevents us from leaving. I wonder how many people would have thought to prep for weeks at a time in Shanghai.

I haven’t seen any interviews or posts from people discussing their children. Has anyone else? Interested what everyone’s thoughts are on all this.

Hey guys. I've never posted on reddit before so bear with me please. I've (F, 25) always wanted to have kids and raise my own family. I've always been worried of what the future looks like and unsure if I could deal with the uncertainty of everything. I find myself questioning whether I could even comfort a child through all this if I'm already so anxious about life without one. Over the past year or so I've become collapse aware so that just adds to my stress. I know it is wrong to want children of my own it's just I can't shake this feeling that I will regret never having my own or I'll feel empty or something. I know I'm young and I have so much time to decide, I even feel silly posting this because I already know that if I'm having all these thoughts and anxieties, plus we're we are headed regardless, then I already know the right decision. I've been with my boyfriend (28) for 7 years and he's pretty certain he can't bring children into this world. We are open to adopting in the future. I guess I just wanted to post on the collapse parenting page so I can get opinions from you guys who have already had children, or perhaps had children before you were collapse aware. Do you wish your circumstances were different? Or did anyone have these worries and decide to go ahead with having children? I'd love an open discussion about this.

I'm so excited. I've wanted to be a mom since I can remember, and I've always seen myself adopting. Now, after a failed marriage and years of floundering, I have a partner who wants to adopt too! We're looking for under 5 years old for our first kid. We live in a small house on a small homestead that we're slowly turning into a subsistence farm. As we discuss how to explain our lifestyle (homesteading, bit preppery, collapse-aware), we're realizing that in the current world mood, we might not actually look as crazy as we would have in say 2019. How are we enduring that we can provide healthy food on one income? Easy, we grow it. How have fuel prices affected your family? Barely at all. Do you have a fire safety plan? Lol yes.

So I guess this is my adoption announcement!!!

Watching the families evacuating Ukraine has brought me to tears so many times. Leaving behind everything but their children, maybe a pet, and a couple bags. Some are leaving elderly or disabled family members. Husbands, brothers, sons… it’s just hell.

It made me reevaluate our go bags. So many of these families have had to drop bags to get on trains, making room for others. Or a child needs to be carried, so other things are left behind.

I repacked our bags with things that we would need for several days, but took out items that were absolutely essential and put them in smaller, cross body bags that don’t take up much space. Copies of important documents, IDs, plastic baggies of medicines, basic first aid, copies of keys, charged battery pack for phone, spare glasses, etc.

What else would you keep in a small pack that you wouldn’t need to drop?

How is everyone coping with the whole Russian ww3 potential thing? I’m still managing an accidental pregnancy and panicked/guilt ridden about bringing another life into this dumpster fire.

I don’t think the human brain can handle this kind of existential uncertainty. Every day I only grow to love my daughter more and more, and I wish more than anything I’ve ever wished in my entire life that I could just enjoy spending time with her without reservation or imagine a joyful life for her in the future.

I don’t know if I’m normal anymore or if my brain has spiraled out of control. I work from home and sometimes don’t leave the house for days on end. Between meetings and tasks, I google things like how bad the drought is in my state, or whether the people in Madagascar will have any relief any time soon.

It breaks my heart to imagine that I’m the reason she may suffer in the future. It regularly makes me cry that one day she could look to me, the person who has a solution for everything, and realize I can’t solve this for her.

It’s hard to explain though, I am past the anger and rage stage. I am trying really hard to channel my former self, who was much more spiritual and who could live in the present. But I was a single childless person then. I had the luxury of disappearing into my meditations. As a parent, my life has become much more tactical, physical and focused on the future. I am an observant person and even when I’m working in my yard, I notice the differences between what it used to be like at this time of year and what it’s like now. Why is it 60 degrees in February in the Pacific Northwest? What are these new insects? Why do I have to water plants in winter?

I don’t know why I’m posting this or what I’m looking for. I feel like I’m living in some bizarre reality where the things that concern me most (my daughter’s future) are not things I’m allowed to talk about (my extended family is sick of hearing me being a bummer and my husband and I are trying to cool it with the perpetual negativity in our conversations). But what do I do with these thoughts? What do you do?