He said : remember me? (With a selfie from fucking winter.) I said “I want you to know that I never forgot you, but I wish I could. I wish I didn’t have to see you in everything, wish that walking downtown didn’t fill me with dread at the possibility of running into you, which I often think that I am. Every time I see a man with long brown hair or any trait you possess I instantly freeze and my heart starts beating so fast and I feel so small that I just want to go home. I went crazy for you. I wanted you to notice me so fucking bad. To really see me. I let you think everything was fine because I thought if I just did everything that you wanted you would realize what a great person I was and love me back. Because i was completely obsessively in love with you. To be honest you were the first person to pay attention to me like I was something to admire, and you knew that and sometimes I question if that is why you ever pursued me at all. I admit I projected a lot on to your character and I’m smart enough to know that I never really knew you at all. We spent less than 12 hours together total but I spent every waking moment from March 21st 2018 to the last time I saw you. I tried to tell you then that I needed to stop seeing you because it was unhealthy for me to be around you. And. Because a simple google shows Reddit essays written around the same time you were fucking me telling everyone how much you love your girlfriend and respect women. But I couldn’t control myself and I gave into you and then you kicked me out so nonchalantly and I’ve never felt so stupid. And I knew I could never see you again, I couldn’t bear the idea of spending years of my life waiting for one text message to beckon me for what was essentially free escorting services. So yes, I remember you. I fucking wish I never met you. Call me insane and dismiss me all you want but don’t you dare do this to another girl again. “ He, of course, denied everything. I know he has a 8 year long relationship with a woman. I have receipts, photos, testimonials. I don’t care if he denies it because he knows. He knows the truth, which I tried to tell him so many times but never could. I posted labels the tread “I love you and that’s okay” everywhere he walked his dog every day. What motivated me to hit send Is honestly because I have been listening to the v single podcast since the beginning and the recent episodes where the girls talked about telling men “you hurt me.” it stuck in my mind, I asked the universe for the chance to say it and it delivered. I feel like I can finally let go of this narcissistic vampire from my conscience, and it feels amazing to know the strength to speak my truth and ask for more.

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