I'm kind of confused right now, I just ate like almost half a tray of brownies and almost immediately went to purge it out, but when (TMI) looking at what came out, it looked to be about 20% of the brownie and 80% what I had for lunch hours ago. Any reason why this could've happened?

I hate this so much. I have binged all the snacks at home I bought for the week. My stomach is screaming for more. I don't want to go out and buy more. I don't know how to bear this. It's really hard.

Hi everyone! This is going to be a long post, but I could really use some advice.I’ve seriously been thinking lately about starting to purge. When I was in high school, I struggled with anorexia. I was super depressed and never wanted to eat. I loved the way I looked though.

Fast forward to now, I’m a 25 yr old female and all I ever wanna do is eat. I know I’m not helping myself and I keep saying I’ve got to stop eating so much but I just love food. My worst enemy is candy, sweets, and very unhealthy food in general. At work, we have a snack drawer and it’s constantly filled with stuff especially candy. I have a bad habit of eating the whole time during my shift. Then I come home and want to eat a big dinner and always have dessert afterwards. I look back at pictures of me when I was skinny and compare it to now and just feel so ugly.

For a while I was going to the gym and counting calories, but it didn’t last very long cuz again I love food! I’m seriously thinking about starting to become bulimic. I already struggle with acid reflex, have swallowing issues, and had my thyroid taken out due to cancer. Because of these things, I tell myself that if I start making myself throw up to lose weight then what difference wld it make if I already suffer with acid and stomach problems.

Is it worth starting to purge after binge eating if I can’t seem to stop wanting sweets and unhealthy food all the time?

just curious as to what others think of this, I’ve always kind of thought of it since it does harm the body and can be used as a way to cope.

My rule is that if i eat a lot i have to purge at least 24oz (yes i measure ik its weird). if i eat A LOTT one day ill have to purge 40oz. Idk its weird. Anyone else have a weird rule

I thoroughly clean my bathroom, but there’s little mould spores growing at the corners of my bath.

Wondering if anyone else has had the experience, and can help?

I feel like deep-cleaning my bathroom deters me from purging.

I personally dread purging spicy food, and don’t like spiciness at all in general, but if I want to keep a meal down I have to add hot sauce or eat a spicy snack with my meal.

Lime or acidic foods are another no no for me, but it helps keep me from purging. Having a constant sore/torn up throat makes me fear having it come up.

I relapsed pretty badly this week by having bulimia for 3 days, all day long (~6h to 10h episode). And there are 2 days left for the week. My goal is to stay clean during this weekend, but as I'm putting weight on, I will have to restrict... I don't know what to do in recovery, if I m eating whatever I want I'm getting fatter and I still b/p. If I restrict I b/p but maintaining or slightly losing. If I control by counting kcal I still b/p and maintaining. I'm so lost. Nothing seems working on me. I started therapy 3 months ago and in total transparency, I have not seen any difference. Right now I just want to keep eating despite it's 1 am and I have NOTHING left in my fridge. I ate everything today, my boyfriend had to go to eat outside because there was literally nothing at home. I'm so ashamed. I don't recognize myself. I'm fat and just obsessed with food.

I have been on tirezapitide for three months and have lost about 40 lbs. Anytime I brush my teeth I vomit. And sometimes I’ve been doing it on purpose. After I eat I’ll go brush my teeth and make myself puke up whatever I just ate. This is all new to me.

I know that when you recover, it's supposed to be something you do for yourself. Of course recovery is something I want to do for myself, but also for the good of my relationship.

I'm in a very healthy and happy relationship. Each year that passes it just gets better. Unfortunately, bulimia is starting to wear me down, and I feel it affecting how I act in my relationship. I'm getting more insecure, clingy, and in my opinion, annoying lol. Not to mention so, so, emotional! Crying almost every day.

This disorder is doing a number on my self image. I hate the way I look. Whenever my boyfriend compliments me I either want to cry or I feel annoyed because I think he's lying. I don't feel comfortable doing anything intimate with him, even though I want to. Bulimia is holding me back.

I want to recover so I can make healthy decisions, and have that reflected back at me when I look in the mirror. Does anyone have any recovery tips? Really anything would help. Thanks :)

I've been bulimic for years, and I'm worried my teeth are gonna go bad. I want to be healthy but I hate keeping down food

I’ve been bingeing and purging every single day, multiple times a day, for a year now, with only a few days off the entire year. I feel stuck and want to recover so badly, but I have no idea where to start. I order food every single day and wish I was rich—I literally have no money I’m a broke college student. All my money goes toward my binges. I’ve convinced myself that ordering binges is cheaper than groceries because I finish them so quickly. I’m basically never full and feel like I could eat an entire cow and still be hungry, so I just stick to ordering food and snacks every day. Any tips on buying groceries? I know it sounds silly, but I really want to start buying groceries once a week and actually make them last, instead of eating everything within two to three days. Groceries usually cost me around $150 a week, and when I buy them, I end up finishing everything in 2–3 days because I have no self-control and feel like I have to finish everything around me vs 150$ per week on ordering food… both options suck but i stick to ordering food. 2) I’m scared of recovering mainly because of my appetite. I don’t know how to manage it. Every time I decide to recover, I end up eating so much that it’s basically bingeing without the purging.

(22F never had a child) When I cough or laugh I pee. I’m nervous to wear any color but black and wear an unreasonable amount of perfume just in case. I have to empty my bladder before purging or it’s a mess. Will this stop when I get better?

When i was young, I had a problem with purging. Then when I got older and was able to legally drink my obsession turned to alcohol. Well two years ago I quit drinking because I gained over 100 lbs over 8 years and my anxiety and panic attacks were out of control. When I stopped the drinking the purging came back and with vengeance. I've found if I'm not binging and purging regularly, I'm spending lots of money. Like giving up one addiction had brought up my eating disorder to replace it. I only purge at night after I eat dinner, but I hate it. If I don't through, I get nauseous and have to fight the urge... almost like wanting a drink. Also, I goto the gym at least 3x a week... but I seem to not have any muscle despite losing the 100lbs I gained during my time drinking. Has anyone else dealt with this sort of thing?

I’ve had constant heartburn for the past 4 days. The last time I purged was 6 days ago. I am getting really scared that something serious is going on. I’ve been getting frequent heartburn for the past couple of months. It usually only lasts a few hours though. I’ve tried Prilosec, Pepto, and Tums but nothing seems to help. I am so anxious about and I can’t seem to stop imagining all the worst case scenarios and it’s not helping. I feel so dumb, I feel like it’s all my fault.

Me and my friend both have very known to eachother and established eating problems. Hers have always rooted to ana as mine have always been rooted to b/p, we confide in eachother and such. Me and her also have the tendency to support eachother? Not in the sense of telling eachother not to eat but more so in the sense of telling eachother we are doing fine but also enabling eachother. Well today we decided to go to subway to eat together and we both got a 6 inch sub, after eating in the restaurant we were sitting there chatting and the conversation went to our respective eating issues as it usually does. I told her that I had really wanted to purge the food I had just eaten and she offered to stand in front of the door and keep a watch of anyone and to knock on the door if she heard anything so I wouldn’t like expose myself? (single person bathroom in a smaller restaurant btw) and as much as I like having a friend like this I also feel at the same time its not helping either of us and this is one of my best best friends so I just dont know like what to do?? Maybe im silly for even writing this as im not sure what im asking for but I just want her to be healthy and safe but I also want her to keep doing what shes doing to me? I dont know honestly, maybe I just wanted to talk myself through it? I dont know, i’m just stuck in a weird limbo in my mind.

I’m referring to when I was b/ping but wasn’t facing the consequences yet. I had hair, my face was perfect, I had no loose skin or sunken eyes. I didn’t have as many stretch marks, I even had great boobs. I hardly ever felt bloated. My cheeks weren’t puffy at all and I was loosing weight so fast. Now I’m spending all of my energy gaining and losing the same amount of weight. My health has declined considerably, and it’s taken over my entire life. You would think this would incentivize me to gain weight, but I feel like I’ll never be that beautiful again. Even if I did, I wouldn’t believe it. I feel so stupid for not believing it back then. I wish I had been there for myself to prevent it from getting as bad as it is now.

I lost a lot of my hair to bulimia. It was too damaged to salvage, so I cut most of it off. I had just gotten used to not being invisible after losing the weight, but as soon as I cut my hair, things changed. I live in a far right town and people assume I cut my hair because I’m gay. I am, I just don’t want to be seen as visually gay/liberal. Today, I dressed like a cowgirl. I had a cute collared shirt, cowboy hat, etc. Today, some kid said “Cowboy? More like transboy.” I hate that this is how people perceive me. I tell myself horrible things all of the time and to see them come alive and come from others is too much to handle. I feel like I have to exaggerate my femininity to compensate but that doesn’t really work. It drives me insane that I am discounted every time I speak to these sick people. I just want my hair back. I loved having hair so much.

i luckily started trick or treating very late today so i barley got any candy, great news because i was gonna bp it all no matter how much it was anyways. bping candy is such a bad experience i literally threw up like rainbow colored goo

Panic ate without purging

I have relapsed tremendously with my eating disorder and I haven’t been letting myself keep anything down. Tonight I can’t really be sick we have visitors staying over I wasn’t going to eat but I almost fainted so I gave in I feel like I ate too much it’s like 1:55am and I had a burger and some Thai noodles. I’m so scared it’s going to make me have a massive gain. I have to sleep soon I need to be up early and all I can think is it’s just going to sit and store on me, that I’m going to look massive when I wake up. I weigh myself everyday and I’m scared to find out how much it will have gone up 😭 I just want to cry! Any reassurance or advice would be massively appreciated….. 😭❤️

so i don’t necessarily binge but i do purge every meal i eat. it can go up to 5+ times a days (almost 7 years on and off but more so the last few years) anyway like i said i don’t necessarily binge but even if i eat something small to feed myself after a purge ill end up purging (im stuck in the horrible cycle) but these past few days ive been feeling like weirdness in my throat kinda like it takes effort to swallow? if that makes sense, i went to the doctor a few weeks ago and she felt a lump on 1 side (i didnt) so she scheduled an ultrasound for my thyroid which i just did last friday and im waiting for results, since after my ultrasound ive been able to feel that bump and now i have that weird feeling in my throat. like i know that could be from purging but im also concerned because my mom had thyroid cancer a few years ago so idk…

anywho has anyone experienced this who actively purges :(

Idk what im even doing anymore . I hate my life . I feel like a shell of a person. I have nothing or nobody:(

This year has been horrendous and ive been pretty much purging every single day (give or take the odd few) and its not even binge purging its simply just purging. Fluids are a HUGE. Trigger and i hate my brain why can i just hydrate and keep it in. The last time things were this bad was 2019 and i tried so hard to pull myself out of a daily cycle but i feel so entrapped in it this time. Im fighting so hard to stop but i cant and i dont know what to do anymore

I just feel so so lost right now and I feel like I’m losing this battle against ED. I’ve only had bulimia for around 6 months now but it’s draining me so fuckinh much and I just feel like a failure no matter what I do. Bulimia is the main cause for my suicidal thoughts and every time I stare down that toilet bowl I just want to die. I just wanna be happy I’m only 14 and it seems like I’m gonna be dead by the time I’m 18 and that doesn’t sound too bad right now.

Anyone have any tips on getting rid of these thoughts? I can’t do this anymore 🙁

I know how idiotic I sound here, I’m fully aware. But at this point, the only way to stop purging is to eat less. Eating causes me to purge. The only way to combat the purging is to eat less so I am not tempted to purge. And since I have anorexia that’s a fucking stupid way to combat this. Anorexia with purging subtype is a special kind of hell and it’s a confusing place to be where I feel like I am an anorexic food addict. Nothing feels safe anymore, even my safe foods. I only eat safe foods and things that I consider safe, it doesn’t fucking matter, I will still purge those foods because I eat too much. There is no fucking winning and I’m so frustrated I mine as well just give up and accept that this will be my life forever

Idk what's happening to me all of a sudden i stopped purging i feel soo bad for not doing it but i have no energy to do too idk i feel like i'm falling dose anyone else facing the same

It’s Halloween and me and my friends have been walking around for two-ish hours. All three of them are feeling tired and have headaches and it’s triggering me so bad. I feel completely fine even though I feel like I should feel worse than they do. All of them eat fairly normally and I get sick multiple times a day so WHY am I healthier than they are.

So I’m in recovery from bulimia, after 12 years and am 17 days purge free. Today from about noon until 10:30pm I’ve eaten so much. I don’t mean a bit too much, but an amount of food I’d definitely describe as a binge, however spread over 7-8 hours and without purging. It’s the first time not throwing up after something like this, so it’s a small win, however I’m so, so terrified of weight gain, literally terrified, it’s my worst nightmare. I have also reduced the amount of exercise I do and ate more than sufficiently over the last couple of days, so I feel even worse. I can’t seem to stop eating. I feel horrible. I often eat large amounts of vegetables to compensate or to be able to eat for longer. What can I do? I went to therapy already, concentrate on getting enough carbs, fats and protein, my general diet is really good. How can I get my eating under control? I don’t want to start binge eating… A lot of the time I also don’t think that I eat to control emotions, maybe more of habit or compulsion? Any tips or tricks are highly appreciated, thank you so much for reading! :)

Hi, just wondering if any experience with what has happened to me just now, so I've been struggling with ED since I was 12 (36 now). Anorexia since 12 and in early 20 I began purging. Not binging, just eating and purging. Anyway I have phases and I've dived deep into anna in the past few months with an occasional purge episode. So I had a salad some 8 hours ago, haven't had anything since, and made pasta for dinner with intention of purging , which I did , and when I look at it, there were bits... I haven't a clue what it is because I only ate pasta carbonara so there shouldn't be anything of that colour. So I took one bit between my fingers, left a little pink mark but like magenta pink, and it did look like lettuce I've eaten earlier in the day and I'm so freaking panicking that I'm bleeding internally or something and having a panic attack. Don't have any other symptoms but I haven't a clue ☹️☹️ is it possible that traces of that lettuce from ages ago would be still visible now?