Blurb: Faced with the death of his sister, Grayson Beausoliel has to face a family dinner with a delirious mother and an intensely passive brother. As the night proceeds, new family truths come to light, leaving Grayson a different person in this intense family drama.

I'm looking specifically for advice on pacing and the ending - please pm me if you're interested! Due to time constraints, I am looking for someone who will be able to get back to me within a week, but I am also willing to swap stories/read an excerpt of a similar length (up to 5k~ words).

Looking for beta readers for the opening of a young-adult novel. Set in a world where young women are selected from their homes to wait on a mysterious queen, the story follows a pair of sisters who try to uncover the mystery of the royal family.

Looking for general feedback on whether you think it's worth pursuing the idea or not.

The Queen is going to end up being based on the story of Elizabeth Bathory, but I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with that yet. It may end up being vampire-ish or perhaps just humans with a cruel streak.

Winter Solstice - Ailin

Of the four festivals that mark the calendar in Verna, the Winter Solstice is my favourite. The days and weeks before are each darker than the one previous, with the nights growing longer and longer, but we are so occupied with our preparations, I rarely notice the lack of light. The harvest is long over and the new crops have yet to be planted, so families come together in preparation for the Solstice celebrations. We make decorations from dried fruit and herbs, melt down old wax and tallow candles to make new lights for our windows and the sounds of winter songs are heard throughout the village. It has been my favourite time of year for as long as I can remember. Each year after the Second Equinox, I find myself eagerly awaiting the first frost that will signify the approach of the Solstice. Each week, more of the leaves on the trees turn and eventually fall completely. Each day that follows, I trace my fingers over the ice patterns on our windows, marvelling at the intricacy of the frost, its fine lines spreading over the glass like strands of glitter. In the week before the festival, the village is alive with the hum of activity. Richly fruited cakes, made with fermented apples from the year’s harvest, appear on tables, not to be touched until the shortest day. The fire pits are cleaned out, ready for the fatted pigs to be roasted. When the longest night arrives, our entire village gathers in the square around the huge fire. We eat the roast pork with our fingers, grease dripping down our chins. This is a night full of possibility; from tomorrow, each day will bring with it more and more daylight, driving out the dark. Children shriek and run through the streets with boughs of evergreen adorned with small silver bells, moving in and out of the candlelight that burns in every window. It has been more than five years since I joined them, since my hair went up and I became a young woman, but I still remember the thrill of slipping and sliding on the patches of ice between the buildings. I still remember feeling nothing but the joy of the Solstice, knowing that the morning would bring gifts and more feasting.

There was no way I could have know what would happen next. That this would be my last Solstice with my family. That when the Spring Equinox arrived, I would be Selected.

Spring Equinox - Irina

“Irina, hurry! We’ll miss it!”

My mother’s voice rises up the stairs to my bedroom and I glance over at the empty bed on the other side of the room. It’s been three years since Ailin was Selected and every morning since she left, my first thought is of my sister. I used to hope that she would suddenly appear and that I would find it had all been a terrible dream, but I wake alone every morning in the room we used to share.

Ailin had been so excited about being Selected. It was an honour, she had told me, over and over again. I had found it hard to share her enthusiasm and I still do not understand how she could have left us so… willingly.

“Irina!”

My mother sounds annoyed, but that’s nothing new where I’m concerned. Ailin was the golden child. I’m just the one she has left.

When I finally get downstairs, she’s waiting by the door. I tug on my boots, hoping that soon the rain will stop. The Equinox is usually dry, but this year, the rains have lasted longer than usual. The sky outside is blue, but the clouds in the distance threaten another shower later in the afternoon, so I grab my light cloak to wear over the dress my mother insists I wear to Selection.

“I’m here,” I say, impatiently. “Why the rush, anyway? It’s not like we need front row seats this year.”

My mother shoots me a look that could wither even the hardiest of spring plants and I duck my head, regretting my snarky comment immediately. I’m just as desperate as she is to get the village square, but pride stops me from sharing her feelings out loud. I know how hard this has been on her, but she never seems to acknowledge how hard this has been on me. Ailin is my big sister. She’d been there since the day I was born and had always been a buffer between Mother and me. My natural inclination to seek dirt and climb trees had never sat well with our mother and Ailin had stood up for me every single time I came home with another ripped pair of boots or a torn jacket. Father largely left us to our own devices; he was so often busy with his work that some months we rarely saw him. When he was home, though, it finally felt like I had a parent on my side. The odds were evened a little and mother’s icy glares seemed a little less frequent.

When Ailin had been Selected, our mother had played the role perfectly. Selection was an honour and Mother couldn’t have seemed prouder as the banners waved and Ailin made her way up to the raised platform in the village square. My sister had looked beautiful that day. She had woken early to curl her hair, and ringlets hung down each side of her face, pulled clear from the coiled braid at the nape of her neck. The sun had glinted off her blonde curls, making Ailin look more like a princess than usual. She was perfect for Selection. All the young women of the county who were Eligible wore white dresses, simple and clean, but somehow Ailin stood out amongst the others, even when dressed identically. It should have been no surprise when she was Selected. I had been too young, and so I stood in the crowd with my parents, Mother’s hand tightly gripping mine. The royal carriages had paraded through our village, as was the custom every year. We were the largest village in the region and hosted the Selection as standard. When the Prince had stepped out of the carriage, I had strained my eyes to get a good look at his mother, but as usual, the Queen stayed out of sight. All I had seen was a glimpse of her white furs and the glimmer of what must have been her diamond crown catching the rays of the sun. Every year, I hoped to see what she looked like, but on the day of Ailin’s Selection, I was disappointed once again.

Ever since I was a little girl, I had been fascinated with the Queen. The King was a public figure, seen speaking to his subjects from the palace balcony at least once a week. The Prince was at every Selection ceremony in all 5 counties of the kingdom, so although we only saw him once a year, we still saw him. And if you happened to visit the capital city, Valeta, you might be lucky enough to see him with some of the other young nobility. But the Queen – the Queen was a mystery that I ached to solve. I wanted to lay my eyes on her so desperately that as a young girl, I would climb trees to gain better vantage points on Selection days, much to my mother’s annoyance.

Now, though, my reasons for wanting to see inside the Queen’s carriage are different. I hope, each year, that maybe, just maybe Ailin will be in the carriage. That maybe the Queen will have chosen her as attendant for Selection days. My heart still cries out for her – my big sister. Three years since I last saw her and I miss her no less than I did on that first night I spent alone in our childhood bedroom. Three Selection Days with no sight of her, but this year will be different. For Ailin has served her first three years with the Queen and is now eligible to spend Selection Day with her family. Just a few hours, and then she’ll be whisked away back to the palace, but for the first time in three years, my sister is coming home.

The three-year rule had always seemed silly to me, and the three years of Ailin’s absence have been torturous. She’ll spend a few hours with us today. My mother has baked all of Ailin’s favourites and I have been saving her birthday presents in a box under her old bed. I can’t wait to see her. After today, she’ll go back to Valeta with the Queen, the Prince and this year’s Selected. Two girls chosen from each county in Verna, taken to the Capital to become part of the Royal Court. They will serve the Queen for three years before they are able to see their families again, and after they have served for five years, they will be given a choice. They will either be allowed to remain in Valeta as part of the Queen’s court or come home. If they choose to come home, they will never be allowed to marry, but will serve as attendants in the Queen’s temples, keeping the fires burning in their county. If they stay in Valeta, they will never again see their families or their home villages, but may be able to make a match with a nobleman in the capital. In all the years that I’ve been aware of Selection, not once has a girl chosen to come home once her five years have been completed.

I pray every night that Ailin will choose differently.

* * * * * *

Mother and I walk briskly to the village square. When we get to the centre, we are ushered to seats near the stage, as is our right now that Ailin has completed her three years. I find myself sitting next to a girl about my age. She’s not from my village, but she must be there for the same reason. The girl who was Selected with Ailin had been from a smaller village in our county. I hadn’t remembered her having a sister on the Selection day, but I had been so focused on Ailin that it’s no surprise.

The girl turns to look at me. On the other side of her, a tired-looking man slouches in his seat. He looks older than my mother, but he bears the same expression of sadness that my parents wore after Ailin left. We sit in the second row, as is our place as families of a third-year. In front of us sit four people: a man and woman who grip each other’s hands tightly, and two younger men. They aren’t old enough to be the parents of anyone who has been Selected and they don’t appear to be with the couple. Brothers of a Selected, perhaps? One of them is about Ailin’s age, but the other is younger, closer to mine. He turns to look as we sit down, and I turn my head, worried I’ll catch his gaze. I don’t want to give Mother any excuse to chastise me today.

Hi all! I'm looking for a beta reader for my very first novel. In short this is about the love story between an immortal woman and time traveling man. Let me know if you're interested! Thanks so much!

Synopsis: James is a journalist in the modern day and his life takes a turn when he meets Penelope. Their first encounter seems ordinary, until he wakes up 100 years in the past. There he meets Penelope again, only she hasn't aged a day. As he continues to accidentally jump between past and present, James unravels Penelope’s long, hidden history while dealing with what it means to change the past.

What I'm looking for:

Feedback on the pacing.

Are my characters compelling?

Does the dialogue feel natural or is it awkward in some places?

Overall enjoyment of the story.

Here is a blurb from the second chapter:

I wake up with a gasp.

I immediately know something is wrong. Instead of seeing the water stain on my apartment ceiling, I see a blue sky. Instead of my cushy mattress, I feel myself laying on a hard, stone like surface.

And I’m naked.

I look around to see if I can tell where I am. I’m lying in some kind of alley. To one side of me is a tall wooden fence. The other side is a brick building. I can tell that it’s an apartment building because of the fire escapes clinging to the side of it. The tenants have their clothes hanging on lines to dry.

Their clothes must be frozen solid. Temperatures were supposed to drop to freezing last night.

That’s when I notice, I don’t feel cold. There’s no harsh wind biting against my skin, and the sun is shining down from the clear blue sky. I guess the meteorologists aren’t always right, as my dad always says.

I sit up and take a look around the alley. It’s littered with trash. Empty glass bottles and cigarette butts are the main décor. I don’t see my phone anywhere. 

I get to my feet and a wave of nausea hits me. I place a hand on the brick wall and my dinner of frozen pizza appears on the concrete in front of my feet.

I steady myself with a few deep breaths. I have no idea where I am or how I got here. But I need to figure it out. I see a newspaper on the ground a few inches away from my dinner. I grab it and look at it. It’s crumpled and a little torn in some places, but besides that, it’s in good shape.

It’s definitely an old paper. I can tell just by looking at it. At the top it says The Boston Daily Globe. The major headline reads “JURY IN CHAPMAN CASE ARRIVES AT NO VERDICT”. The pictures on the page are in black and white. I can tell these pictures are old based on the quality.

I look at the date. 

April 4, 1925.

Synopsis: On a cold night at the old Farm, Hector, a restless and dreamy young man, escapes the family melancholy and enters the dense forest, guided by the call of the Glade and its colossal tree. There, he meets three enigmatic travelers – Auror, Aetas and Zenithor – who lead him on a journey between time and existence.

Throughout this mystical journey, Hector confronts the mysteries of life, death and destiny, while witnessing the farewell of his companions and receiving an unusual gift. Between goodbyes and revelations, he discovers a link, which like a bridge unites the present and the future.

With a narrative wrapped in symbolism and lyricism, it is a tale about memory, belonging and the true meaning of freedom.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-L-aDsT459w_vanMVzAnw1mH2BAHo0r2XhE69dwjoJc/edit

First story among 12 collected in an anthology. I need a critical and realistic assessment that will help me position this story in relevance to what it proposes. Any assessment on theme, development and cohesion, plot, linearity, rhythm, language, socio-economic-cultural context, scope, development, depth of subjective and philosophical themes, technical basis and impact.

More information in DM

Hey all, kinda new here, but I wanted to get some fresh eyes on a story I've been hammering for a couple of years now. Before I start the querying process, I'd like to just, I dunno, get a feel for how people like/hate it. Because this is a book with both grimdark and lighthearted moments fighting for control, I'd love it if you could give special attention to pacing and the overall intrigue you have. What you think of the plot, the characters, the moooood, ya dig? Before investing more of your time, this book has a fair amount of violence and a couple of scenes involving child endangerment. Nothing too much, think hostage situation. The book also deals with the issue of suicide and grief, so don't feel obligated to continue if your mental health is affected. Thanks so much for your time!

Book blurb is coming in hot!

Samuel Grend thought rescuing seven-year-old Isaella Vineberd from her abusive, power-hungry family would be a clean job: get in, get the girl, and get her across the continent. But when Isaella obliterates her captors with a whispered word, Sam realizes she isn't just some kid, but a weapon of mass destruction. As a formidable shapeshifter, he adapts to any problem, but Isaella’s magic is a force she neither controls nor understands. The Vineberds, desperate to reclaim their stolen experiment, will stop at nothing to retrieve her.

Haunted by his role in the death of his adoptive father, Sam sees a reflection of his own lost childhood in Isaella. Instead of simply running from the Vineberd's agents who relentlessly pursue them from the glittering, vice-ridden city of Kobet to the drug dens of Vecisil, he's determined to offer her the peace he once knew. His only hope lies with a mage powerful enough to help her control her volatile magic, one who carries a deadly grudge. Before Isaella can be used to level entire cities, Sam must deliver her to safety and confront the nightmares she's endured.

And then, if you're still here, comp. titles i have in the query: Fans of Andrzej Sapkowski's The Witcher series will connect with Sam's reluctant guardianship and the morally gray world he inhabits, while readers who enjoyed the camaraderie and fast-paced action of Scott Lynch's The Lies of Locke Lamora will find themselves drawn into Sam and Isaella's unlikely partnership. The story explores themes of self-forgiveness, the burden of the past, and the complex bonds of found family, set against a backdrop of political intrigue and powerful, often misunderstood magic.

EDIT: Got a poke from a robot to add a brief cut of the story so you can get an idea of the prose? Hope I'm doing this right??

Spoiler: He glanced back at the tent, surprised to see it illuminated from within. The oil lamp had been left on. With a sigh, he stood and approached the canvas flaps. He was only doing this to conserve oil and instill a sense of responsibility in her. If he took this child to the guild and tried to pawn her off on a noble family, her bad habits would reflect poorly on him. When Sam pulled back the drawstring flap, he found Isaella cowering in the heap of furs, staring intently at the little blaze of the glass bubble. She jumped as he entered, fumbling to make any number of excuses. “I forgot I left it on! I was just gonna–” “I am not keen on wasting oil as a night light,” Sam grumbled. “You forget that our supplies are limited to only what we can carry, and you carry far less than I do.” Her face fell, and her shoulders slouched. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn't mean to…” He watched her warily, but Sam felt his resolve crack as the moment passed. With Lucas's words fresh in mind, he nodded at her pitiful display and softened his voice; the ‘gentle’ approach had yielded results before. “You're afraid of the dark.” She nodded. “I get nightmares, scary ones where people scream and run from me, and they die.” At his continued silence, Isaella shivered and huddled into the pile of furs. “It's cold down there. And dark.” Sam shed his impatience like blocks of lead and sat down with a thud. “Down there,” he repeated, moving the lamp to sit between them. The scent her magic carried tasted like iron in his throat. “You mean the pyramid.” She tensed but nodded. “The Garden. It's…scary.” Sam rubbed his neck and subdued his nerves, reminded of the lessons Maxime had beaten into him. She was only a job. “You don’t remember anything about it, do you?” “Joy would take me there for medicine. To help me with my magic.” She shook her head. Fear crept throughout the tent, low and pungent as rotting flora. “It was always cold. I wake up in bed and can't get warm, no matter what I do. It's always dark.” “Judging by the color of your eyes, I’d suggest getting used to the cold,” he scoffed. She tilted her head. “Never mind all that, it's alright. You won’t have to go back there ever again. Whatever that place was, it’s just a memory now.” Isaella nodded, burrowing deeper into the furs. “I'm sorry,” she offered again. Sam felt the distinct impression that she wasn’t referring to the lamp. He stepped outside to retrieve the kettle, only returning once he could provide two cups of warm tea. “I'm the one who needs to apologize,” he sighed, handing her a cup and relieved to see her take it. “Despite my behavior and my actions, I assure you that you’ve done nothing wrong. Not today, yesterday, or this evening. The blame lies with me for trying to treat this venture as if it were a common bounty. I’m just…” Sam frowned, but Isaella came to his rescue. “You’re scared, too.” He stared at her, watching as she crawled from her little mound to sit upright. She took a big sip of tea, then made a face at its bitterness. “You like being alone ‘cause then you don’t have to worry. But you’re scared something bad’s gonna happen, and you’re stuck with…me.” He took a sip from his own cup. “Am I that easy to read?” She nodded. “You got a ‘dark place’ you don’t like too. But you remember yours.” Maybe now, traveling with anyone would feel wrong and make a mess of him. Though Isaella was still partially to blame, he wondered what else she was picking up on, and what else he wasn’t hiding. He sipped his tea. “I am scared, but I’m not ‘stuck’ with you. I chose this job, and I want to make sure you’re safe,” he reasoned, partially with himself. “I’ve…failed in the past, and people got hurt because I wasn’t strong enough.”

Hi everyone. I'm a fan of comedy, fantasy, science fiction, and books that you can tell the author had a plan for from the beginning. So I took all of those things and mushed them together into something I'm proud of.

I've been through several iterations on this story since I finished it, constantly polishing, editing, beta reading, learning, editing, rearranging, and editing. I am really close to done, I've gone through it so many times I want either self publish (advertise, get a professional editor, etc.), or to drop it and start fresh with what I've learned. To make that decision I want the opinion of... you! The good people of r/betareaders. You kings and queens who bravely slog through the early beautiful messes of amateur authors and come out the other side championing invaluable insight and advice. Do you feel flattered yet? I hope so, you deserve it, and to be honest I'm trying to butter you up. I would be appreciative of anyone willing to read it.

I've got a blurb below, I'll gladly send you the book or first chapter if you are interested! Thank you.

Like all good stories, our tale begins with an orphan, a slave, and an aerospace engineer. Two of them are aliens, or maybe the other one is the alien. I guess it just depends on your point of view. Each facing incredible danger and long odds for survival, maybe, just maybe, if they can work together, they'll get out of this alive.

A chance of birth saw Naala cursed with a power that is only of useful to the powerful. She has spent her entire life hiding what she is, enduring every humiliation and disgrace needed to keep her secret. Yet, in spite of all she has endured, someone has discovered what she is. Fated to suffer a fate worse than death, Naala prays to her people’s old gods in a desperate attempt to save herself. To her great surprise, the gods respond.

Humanity’s first, and perhaps only colony ship, has spent hundreds of years making the arduous journey to the distant habitable world of E735-2. Engineer first class Dave Samson, finally woken from his long cryo-sleep, can’t believe they still haven’t come up with a better name for planet. Realizing he is the lone crew-member awake somehow becomes only the second most concerning thing as the ship’s malfunctioning AI informs him that they are about to crash into the very planet they’ve traveled light-years to reach.

Soral is special. He doesn’t know how exactly, but he knows he is. After all, it was the last thing his parents told him before they were taken from him. And what kind of parents would lie about something like that? For the last several years he’s focused on only two things, trying to find out why his parents had been taken, and finding enough to eat. He never would have guessed that getting thrown in prison, and forced to fight in brutal gladiatorial combat, might be the solution to both of those problems. He can hardly believe his luck. Now, he just has to survive as he is pitted against monsters, mercenaries, and gods.

Hi! I’m looking for beta readers for my adult magical realism novel about a tragic love story set in the late Victorian era with magical paintings.

Here is my pitch:

When Elsie accidentally frees Theo from a painting he was trapped in for 106 years, she discovers more than she bargained for. Things aren’t as they seem; Theo is keeping a fatal secret, and Elsie’s heart won’t survive it.

Comps: Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, Spellbreaker, The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Ministry of Time

Trigger Warnings: Major character death

Unfortunately, I don’t have time for swaps…

This story is about Evie Winston, who, along with her younger brother, gets into a car accident on her way to school.

Evie found herself in a hospital after the car crash, where she discovered that she'd been in a coma for the past year, and her brother Johnny had died.

When she is sequestered by her overprotective and dysfunctional parents, it's all too easy for her to slip away from reality, her insanity her only escape.

This is the story of a young girl's descent.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WvMkKfG1hwpTmvS312oCDUmdOilUdMAcFToO0DM8IaY/edit?usp=sharing

Hello everyone! I'm hoping to find beta readers/swap manuscripts with a few people before I start to query.

Blurb:

Paris in the age of Napoleon.

Henri is a “good” vampire. He only feeds on rats and other vermin, never humans; in fact, he avoids all human contact whatsoever, which is quite difficult to do in a city like Paris. But he is lonely, and against his better judgment befriends a woman named Claire.

When another vampire arrives in town, a bitter old crone with a secret vendetta against Henri and a deep hatred of humans, Henri must face his own nature in order to save Claire and destroy this sleepless evil forever.

Content warning: Violence, gore, violence against animals

I'm looking for general feedback on everything: pacing, character, structure, etc. How does the story flow? Does it keep you engaged?

I’m willing to swap chapters and manuscripts!

Thank you!

Hi. I'm looking for a Beta reader for my 1st book. The story revolves around a Colonol in a military that's nearly fallen apart. He's been put in charge of a outpost simply to keep him available when needed, for his skills in a particular area that nearly destroyed him. He's brought a prisoner connected to a past event that he struggles to remember or understand due to his mental health. Often refusing to see what's right in front of him cause he doubts his reality.

There are elements to the story that come with trigger warnings. Not too graphic but some may find upsetting. These include sex, alcohol abuse, reference of torture, attempted S/A, and self harm.

Im not looking for an editor at the moment. Honestly I've written the whole thing on my phone as I don't have a computer!! So formatting and spelling I'll look into once I've finished the story. Mostly I'm looking for someone to read the whole thing and let me know mostly if the ending works as I'm not sure if certain elements are cohesive enough.

"Beneath the surface of New Orleans’ vibrant chaos, a battle for souls is brewing. An ancient power, long buried beneath the city’s streets, is awakening—a force that once ruled the supernatural world and now hungers for destruction. A Werewolf Queen fights to control the beast within as she hunts for a power that could save—or destroy—her people. A Slayer, bound by duty, must choose between the city she swore to protect and the love that could save her soul. And a teenage witch, unprepared for the darkness ahead, must unlock her hidden potential—or become its next victim.

As their paths collide, the Werewolf Queen, the Slayer, and the teenage witch must forge uneasy alliances—or risk being consumed by the darkness they seek to destroy. In a city where jazz and juju collide, the battle for souls will test the limits of loyalty, love, and what it means to be human.

As an ancient evil rises from the shadows, the lines between hero and monster blur, and the city is thrown into a nightmare. In a place where the past is never truly dead, what will be left for the future? And can anyone survive the coming darkness?"

Title: SoulWell

• Genre: Supernatural Urban Fantasy
• Author: Me
• Revised Date: January 30th, 2025
• Length: The document contains 38 chapters and an epilogue that leads to a second book. I am hoping this has enough interest for a series.
• Setting: Primarily in New Orleans, with a focus on supernatural elements like witches, vampires, werewolves, and ancient magic.
• Tone: Dark, intense, and atmospheric, with a mix of action, mystery, and emotional depth.

Potential Beta Reader Feedback Areas:

1. Pacing: The story has a lot of moving parts, with multiple POVs and factions. A beta reader could help assess whether the pacing feels balanced or if certain sections need more development.
2. Character Development: While the main characters are well-defined, some secondary characters (like Mary-Beth or Saphronia) could benefit from more depth. A beta reader could provide insights into which characters resonate and which need more attention.
3. World-Building: The supernatural elements and the city of New Orleans are richly described, but a beta reader could help identify areas where the world-building could be expanded or clarified.
4. Themes and Motifs: A beta reader could help ensure that the themes (e.g., power, loss, identity) are consistently woven throughout the narrative and resonate with the reader.
5. Dialogue and Voice: The dialogue is strong, but a beta reader could help ensure that each character’s voice remains distinct and authentic.

Hi guys! This is a series I've been working on for over 20 years. I have about 170 pages of lore and probably thousands of characters within the universe I've created. I've slowly but surely been adding to this piece as my lore blossomed first. I'm looking for reassurance that I'm not mentally ill to begin with! Secondly, I'm looking for feedback. Is the blurb attention grabbing? Does it hook you? It's an urban fantasy novel, at about 55k words. My personal dream is this being the next book craze, but that's likely my ego talkin'!

I have the entire novel placed on a googledoc sheet. Please DM me if interested.

Welcome to the monthly r/BetaReaders “First Pages” thread! This is the place for authors to post the first page (~250 words) of their manuscript and optionally request feedback, with the goal of giving potential beta readers a quick snapshot of the various beta requests in this sub.

Beta readers, please take a look at the below excerpts and reach out to any users whose work you’d be interested in reading. You may also provide authors with feedback on their first page if they have opted in to a first page critique.

##Thread Rules

• Top-level comments must be the first page, or a page-length excerpt (~250 words), of your manuscript and must use the following form:
  • Manuscript information: [This field is for the title of your beta request post ([Complete/In Progress] [Word Count] [Genre] Title/Description) ]
  • Link to post: [Please link to your beta request post so that potential betas may find additional information about your beta request, such as your story blurb and the type of feedback you're requesting. You may also link directly to your manuscript if you choose. However, please do not include any other information about your project in this thread; that's what your main beta request post is for.]
  • First page critique? [Optional. If you would like public feedback in this thread on your first page, you may opt-in here (in which case we encourage you to publicly critique another eligible first page in this thread). Otherwise, you do not need to include this field; we understand that some users may not be comfortable with public feedback, may not want their first page formally critiqued outside of the context of their manuscript as a whole, or may not feel their manuscript is ready for a single-page line-edit critique.]
  • First page: [Please include only the first ~250 words of your manuscript.]
• Top-level comments that are too long (longer than 2,500 characters, all-inclusive) will be automatically removed. Please remember that this thread is only intended for the first 250-ish words of your manuscript. It's okay if your excerpt cuts off at an odd place: even a short selection is enough for most readers to determine if they're interested in your writing style (they'll message you if they want more). Shorter submissions keep this thread easily skimmable, so please, keep them short.
• Multiple comments for the same project are not allowed in the same thread.
• No NSFW content—keep it PG-13 and below, please. Excerpts that include explicit sexual content, excessive violence, or R-rated obscenities will be removed.
• Critiques are only allowed if the author has opted in. If you requested a critique, we encourage you to publicly critique another eligible first page as a way of giving back to the community.

For your copy-and-paste, fill-in-the-blanks convenience:

Manuscript information: _____

Link to post: _____

First page critique? _____

First page: _____

Welcome to the monthly r/BetaReaders “Able to Beta” thread!

Thank you to all the beta readers who have taken the time to offer feedback to authors in this sub! In this thread, you may solicit “submissions” by sharing your preferences. Authors who are interested in critique swaps may post an offer here as well, but please keep top-level comments focused on what you’re willing to beta.

Older threads may be found here. Authors, feel free to respond to beta offers in those previous threads.

##Thread Rules

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Hey everyone!

I’m looking for beta readers for my Wattpad story, Heirs of Aurous, a dark academia/romance/mystery thriller filled with secrets, power struggles, and dangerous alliances. If you enjoy elite schools, morally gray characters, and slow-burning tension, you might like this one!

Blurb:

❝ They say, who loves first, falls hardest, but what if this story is she fell first, he fell harder. ❞

Truths hurt, lies are a blasphemy in a relationship. But have you ever felt it? When everything feels like they're infinitely stretching your soul and tearing it into tiny pieces of who you once were.

For me, my past hides my mistakes, and in my future, she's the only one I see. But do I even deserve her?

For me, smiling is no better than a sin. Love seems like a punishment. Falling for someone again feels like a luxury. So why am I getting a second chance?

Love feels like a gut-wrenching feeling, all-consuming and unattainable. But is it really that far?

They say hate and love are divided by just a fine line. As they both stand on either side, and I stand in between, am I really letting go of the hand I once held dear?

She smiles, but she drowns in darkness. I could save her. But what if, instead of becoming the light to her darkness, I end up becoming the cage imprisoning her in it?

𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?

Content Warnings:

Violence, intimidation, and psychological manipulation

Themes of power, corruption, and revenge

Some morally gray actions by main characters

What I’m Looking For:

I’d love feedback on:

✅ Pacing – Does the story keep you engaged?

✅ Character Development – Are the protagonists/antagonists compelling?

✅ Clarity – Are any scenes confusing or need more depth?

✅ Overall Impressions – What’s working well, and what feels off?

Timeline:

I’d appreciate feedback within 1-2 weeks, but I’m flexible.

I’m open to critique swaps if you have a similar genre! Let me know, and I’d be happy to beta-read in return.

If you’re interested, comment below or DM me! I’d love to hear your thoughts and improve my story. Thanks in advance!

Hello everyone! I am looking for free beta readers for my first book "Circus of Sins" with 25 chapters. It is a dark romance/thriller that contains trigger warnings. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated as I’m hoping to publish it by the end of next month so will make any necessary changes if needed. Thank you!

description- Janie is lured into a twisted world of dark romance and depravity when she attends a mysterious traveling circus. Captured and forced into a life of torment and ecstasy, Janie must navigate the sinister intentions of the performers while uncovering the dark secrets behind everything. As she struggles to hold onto her sense of self, Janie must make choices that will determine her fate among others. Torn between her growing attraction to the enigmatic Killian and the desperate fight for her freedom.

Hi everyone!

Getting back into creative writing after a few years and I fleshed out this idea for a poetry collection that I completed earlier this month. I'm still doing research on which route I'd like to take in terms of getting the work out there, but for now, I thought it'd be a good idea to get some eyes on it that aren't super close to me as I've only shared it with some close friends of mine so far.

Themes: Identity, Connection, Value, Self-Worth

It's about 40 poems. It plays around with a loose narrative through some prose-leaning poetry in a mix of poems/songs that reflect what the character (a young musician) is processing.

I'd like someone to read through it and maybe give first impressions and what's standing out to them about the collection as a whole, and any feedback they feel would be relevant if I were to consider revising it or shopping it around one day. There are photos that start off each of the 3 sections, which have relevance to the story as well. In the future, I'd like to work on more multimedia art outside of the collection and continue to communicate these ideas in those ways. But this collection is serving to be the reference point for all that.

I don't have much experience with beta reading but I'd be happy to swap if I could be any general help looking over anyone's work. It'd be nice to get a read-through in the next week or two but anytime in February would be great.

Thank you!

Broken into (loose) guidelines of different types of heroes, this collection of humorous short stories looks at the mundane aspects of life through a heroic lens.

Looking for some beta readers to give general thoughts and opinions on the stories and structure.

I’ve linked a doc with the first two stories. Thank you so much for taking a look!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-BLAUa6eA18Mx0AsS72Sa6sx24a9kJNYMkljshZXHos/edit

Hi all! I’m looking for beta readers for my 87k dramatic women’s fiction novel. The plot follows a girl working as a prostitute in the early 1900s (no specific time or place, but heavily inspired by the environment of the time). When she finds out her family, factory workers in the laboring class, is gearing up for the possibility of an uprising, she begins to panic, thinking this will get them killed. She starts by working alongside the government, who she hates, spying in exchange for protection, but that plan falls through. She then moves onto illegal activities, trying to make enough money to get her family out of the country as quickly as possible.

I’m really looking for people to comment on the pacing and overall likability of the book. Just high level feedback, not necessarily anything too deep, please let me know if you’d be interested. Thank you!

First 300:

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Which might explain why I’m none of the above.

That, or the fact that I’m not a man.

Dawn arrives slowly, the sun rising steadily above the horizon and filling the sky with soft hues of pink and orange and blue. In the city, merchants will start getting ready for the day, rolling up the shutters on their shops and wheeling their carts into the square. In the south, farmers will wake up to their roosters crowing. In the north, factory workers arise, donning their uniforms as they set out to work.

For others, it’s closing time. The last client has just left my bedroom, leaving me sprawled upon the bedspread. Every inch of me throbs, and I’m sure there’s soon to be a fresh set of bruises on my torso. Even the simple act of lifting my head takes considerably more effort than I’ve got the energy to spare. I try to take a deep breath, but a stabbing pain shoots through me.

Somehow, I’ve got to sleep through this.

Not before I clean up though. The room’s a mess, odds and ends scattered across the floor and stuffed into every crevice. A sock dangles off the dresser drawer, there’s buttons of all shapes and sizes, and a pair of spectacles hangs precariously off the armchair in the corner, one lens completely shattered. No, one cannot sleep in this clutter.

Torocore rides were never considered luxury, but in the murky, armored belly of the troop transport, Staff Sergeant Emily Vale began to wonder if this heap of shit was riding on the back of a three-legged bison. The ammo cans at her feet jostled and rattled, occasionally knocking against the ankle of her armored exojacks. Her custom Pyregrips, manufactured by Galvin Technologies with sterile white fingers and metallic pink knuckles, clung to the handle of the MG86E in front of her, smeared with the grime and grease of the day's pre-battle preparations. The hulking LMG was nearly as large as her, but Emily had already proven to be among the best heavy weapons operators at Torocore. Combined with her Pyregrips cyberware and vast knowledge of any and all types of explosives, she was a one girl, miniature wrecking ball that packed a mega punch.

“Aye, mini-merc.” Private Jordan Garth finally broke the somber silence with his macho man southern accent. Fresh out of Torocore training, he was a tough, burly kid with big arms and a bigger ego. “Why don’t you hand that big piece of kit over here to daddy and stick with that peashooter on your hip there.” He gestured to the Torocore SM13 attached to the side of her leg with a magnetic mini holster. A classic, compact, no frills submachine gun, not only was it one of a few standard issue armaments to Torocore Security Forces, it was also Emily’s preferred sidearm.

Grimacing internally at the new kid’s attempt at banter, Emily shot him the most seductive look she could muster. It wasn’t a difficult task. Her looks was one feature that hadn’t been enhanced by cyberware; she didn’t need it.

“Why don’t you hand me your helmet, babe,” she said.

“For what?” Garth’s face was twisted in a confused look, obviously taken aback by the advance.

“A little…..good luck charm.” She winked and reached over for his helm, fresh from the armory with none of the wear and tear of a hard day’s battering of lead and shrapnel. The look of confusion dominating Garth’s face slowly turned to subtle excitement, the expression of a teen boy preparing to see his first glimpse of the feminine figure on prom night.

Holding the enormous lid in front of her, she pressed her lips to it with a flirtatious kiss. Palpable anticipation filled the cramped air as the rest of the squad prepared for Emily’s typical shenanigans. Master Sergeant James Gomez, a grizzled veteran NCO with a no bullshit demeanor and an undying respect for Emily, smirked like a proud father at the thought of what would ensue next. LT, however, knew there would be hell to pay for whatever antics she was about to perform. He’d rather deal with the fallout from command than a pissed off woman-of-war though. Even if he wanted to, there was no intervening now. The kid needed his ego checked and-

FWOOSH-

Still holding the helm in front of her with one hand, her eyes lit into a fury as her other hand burst into flames. The one inch punch sent her glamorous fist through the fragile metal helmet, turning it inside out in a violent fury. The rest of the squad burst into laughter as the useless hunk of titanium was handed back to its owner. PFC Drake Manning, another fresh rookie with only a handful of combat experiences under his belt, fell to the floor in a fit of laughter so violent, Sergeant Grace Valdez, the squad medic, thought she may have to revive him before they even stepped foot in front of enemy fire. Gomez let a faint smile creep across his face as he leaned his head back against the brutal interior of the carrier, determined to resume his pre battle nap.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!” Garth exclaimed, attempting to fold the helmet back to its original form on his head. “Don’t get shot,” Gomez replied gruffly, still drifting between rest and readiness on the metal bulkhead.

“Comms up.” LT Jerrod King’s voice cut through the laughter, snatching the tone back to a somber understanding of the hell into which they were about to embark. The rustle and bustle of equipment being shifted around as each squad member reached to activate their earpieces signaled to Manning that this would be a good time to make a hasty recovery and return to his seat. LT shot him a disapproving look as the PFC slunk back into the metal bench and activated his own earpiece, glancing around at the rest of the squad with red on his face.

The voice of the battle AI, Granite, came over the comms setup to remind the squad of their task and provide final intel. “When you reach the drop off location, you will come under immediate enemy fire. Your task is to eliminate perimeter defense in the immediate area, breach the wall of the airfield and eliminate Quantaclave’s SAM launchers to facilitate the arrival of Torocore air support. From there, you will join the battle that is ensuing from 2nd Batallion’s assault on the front of the complex by engaging forces from the left flank. Upon confirmation of threat elimination, support forces will begin moving in to establish a temporary command post for the eventual conversion of the airfield to Torocore ownership. Any questions?”

“What sort of terrain can we expect?” Gomez looked more alert now, as if someone had woken a begrudging, elderly bull.

“The drop off location is behind a large outcropping of rocks approximately 1 kilometer from the perimeter. There are smaller outcroppings scattered throughout the landscape which should provide ample cover from the inevitable hellstorm that will ensue upon your arrival. However, dilly dallying behind these rocks for too long is inadvisable as……..as……..” Granite went silent, leaving the cabin of the vehicle with a quiet that pierced the eardrum. “....as we can expect them to be slinging artillery our way. Can’t let them get a bead on our position. Movement is key,” Emily piped in. “When we get on the ground, establish a perimeter around the carrier. When Sarge gives the word, I’ll lay down suppressing fire.” She could feel the nervous energy emanating off the younger squad members. Instilling confidence in their leadership was key to making sure they survived this slosh.

Gomez chimed in to finish the plan. “As soon as she starts laying down fire, move up on my command, split arrow formation. Do NOT let them catch you grouped together - they will shred you to mince meat so fine, you won’t even be palatable to the vorchins. Speaking of, if you spot any of those vorchin bastards creeping around looking for an easy meal, put them down before they put you down. We have enough Quantaclave vermin to cope with, the last thing I need is someone losing a leg to the wildlife.”

“CORRECT!” The squad jumped in their seats at the interjection. Granite’s tone was annoyingly upbeat and hopeful, spoken like a suit detached from the reality of war. They couldn’t blame him. Granite was simply a product of the corporate programmers and scientists who trained him. To them, this was just another game. “Your survival depends on your determination to reach the objective in a timely manner! Is there anything else I can assist with?” The query was met with silence, dripping with dread and anxiety in the hot, muggy interior.

“We’re good, Granite. Thank you,’ LT finally quipped.

“Of course. Go forth and bring glory to Torocore. Your corporate leaders and associates thank you for your sacrifice.”

Hello all! I'm writing an auto-biography accounting major life events. Medical Malpractice, Death, Severe Accidents, Murder, Stalking, Coming Out, discovering identity, toxic family relationships, roadtrips.

I'm recounting the events of my life like I'm sitting down at the table talking to my father as a ghost. In the process I hit a kaleidoscope of different relevant issues into today's society. I have a feeling I'm stting on something incredibly powerful. It's looking to be about 200,000 words at finish of the first rough draft. I let it all out in this book. I showcase truth and vulnerability in ways that I believe might change the world one day.

I'm looking for beta readers for the first time that are willing to read through what I have and offer general audience feedback. I will be finishing this book, guaranteed. What I need is someone to tell me how it reads, I am the main character in this book so being so attached to everything makes me blind. I need someone who has no idea who I am to read this and tell me if it draws you in and keeps you. Does it impact you?

Anyways what I have is a long ass read. It's divided into 6 parts currently and looking to finish around 10 parts, complete. This is something I have put my entire soul into, I will see that this doesn't fail. I really think this has potential to make it far. Anyway thanks for the read, send me a message if you'd be interested!

Hello there! I am currently working on a series (writing book one right now but I have a head full of entire ideas for 6 books in the main series) and was wondering if anybody would be interested in reading it and giving me feedback!

Now, before anything else, I am NOT LOOKING FOR AN EDITOR!!! I am simply looking for somebody to read my writing in the way that a reader would and give feedback and talk about it with me and stuff! What gives me the most motivation is people being excited for my work and wanting to know more! So, I'm looking for something more casual and friendly :) Additionally, I would like to do a sort of chapter by chapter thing where you read it as I write it! I currently have three chapters written :)

the most basic of basic sort of explanation I can give is: the first book follows two character- a runaway prince and a morally gray, cunty (no other way to put it lmaoo) vampire! There's so much more to the story obviously and I have SO MUCH more planned than I have written down yet. I feel like that's part of the fun though (from your perspective)! Beeing like oooh what's gonna happen next and then I write the next chapter and so on and so forth. Idk if that makes sense haha but either way.

The book is being written in third person limited, but there are two POVs, one for each other the characters I described above :) I would also like to say that the romance will be slowwwww burn!

Also! I would like to communicate more about this on discord, so if you're interested please let me know and we can arrange that!!

Thank you <3

Hello!

I have nearly completed my book and would love some feedback as I try and develop it to around 65k words. It's a whimsical, nostalgic read that I hope would be perfect for a rainy day.

Blurb:

Silvi was found in the woods at the end of winter by a middle-aged couple who moved into town from the city. Thus begins two decades of her life in a small town, a life that is wholly ordinary and preoccupied with the normal trials of a young woman: the search for friendship, love, purpose, etc. It seems only her origins will be anything of note, until she nears her twenty-second birthday and finds herself shadowed by some thing that reminds her more and more of herself.

In Search Of:

Honestly, any sort of feedback! I've only just begun to share my work and have no idea what is and isn't working. I've pored over my prose, but if anything is choppy, I'd love to know.

Swaps:

Definitely interested in works of a similar genre!

First Chapter:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kcn1q5iumj_5B-qFonmJppOAM1GdqTgWMS9BFRiyFeY/edit?tab=t.0

So people with experience with Baldurs Gate 3 [BG3] would be preferred, but it is an A/U interpretation so I can just give you the relevant context. Wanting a beta reader to review a chapter, roughly 5.5k words. Less about grammar/punctuation and more about the "vibe".

Essentially I've put my male POV character Astarion in a situation where he is being "seduced" by a woman. He could easily overpower her, and he does not want to be seduced, but his years of torture/abuse/forced prostitution have meant he has been conditioned to obey and so he goes along with it.

![spoiler - there is kissing and fingering, but there is no physical rape, by which I mean penetration. She is also not TRYING to assault him - she thinks he will welcome her advances, and he does, at least physically - mentally he is incredibly distressed. He does eventually tell her to stop, and she stops.]!<

Here's my issue. I'm not a male. I've never been S/Aed. I don't drink, and never really did. So I don't know what it feels like, to be overpowered, not physically (men being stronger than women), but mentally, due to a history of trauma.

He also immediately stars drinking to calm the shaking and try and help him numb to what almost happened - I don't drink, let alone to the point of being an alcoholic. So I need advice on that.

Anyway I was hoping for a beta reader who can help me with this chapter, make sure I'm being accurate and sensitive. I think someone specifically with experience of male S/A might be better - even if you're a psychologist or a counselor or something. You don't have to have PERSONAL experience.

I can send the chapter privately. Obviously the work is explicit and you must be over 18.

Thanks in advance!

PS: This is the scene I am vaguely trying to recreate, but turn it to an N/C situation. She is a religious fanatic and wants to have sex with him because it would please her Goddess.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9hF1-VGQmb0

Seeking Beta Readers for My Book

I’m looking for a group of dedicated readers to critique my book, helping me refine it before publication. My goal is to enhance its cinematic quality and ensure a compelling narrative. If you’re interested, tell me why you’d be the ideal reader, and include your email address—I’ll send you the first chapter for consideration.

Thank you!

See book blurb below:

James Krogan never wanted to be important.

Unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

One moment, he’s an overworked security officer just trying to get through another day without losing his temper. The next, he’s tangled in a web of cryptic messages, inconvenient betrayals, and people insisting he’s something much more significant than he ever signed up to be.

There’s also the small matter of an ancient, possibly sentient suit of armor, a group of very determined enemies who’d prefer he stop existing, and a number of unsettling revelations about humanity’s past that absolutely nobody bothered to warn him about.

With the help of a pilot who drinks too much, a cyborg with trust issues, and an AI who might be flirting with him, James is about to learn that fate has a terrible sense of humor—and that sometimes, the only way forward is straight through the chaos.

A fast-paced, sharp-witted adventure filled with mystery, questionable alliances, and the ongoing struggle to get five uninterrupted minutes of peace.

Hey everyone! I’m looking for beta readers for my YA fantasy. It’s set in a medieval world ruled by a Dark Lord. It involves a rag-tag band of young characters on a journey to bring down the dark lord and save their kingdom.

If you think you’d have any interest, drop a comment below or feel free to shoot me message! Thanks for taking the time to look at my post! Details below:

Blurb / Description: Fifty years ago, the Dark Lord won. When the protective spirit of Qandar was defeated, the kingdom fell into an age of darkness, ruled by the Dark Lord and the families that sided with him in the war. The great prophecy states that nine children - one born to each of the nine great houses of Qandar - are destined to decide the fate of the kingdom; either by rising up to defeat the Dark Lord, or by joining him and cementing his eternal rule.

Sixteen-year-old Wren is not a child of the prophecy. That honour seems to have fallen to her older brother, Kellen - who conveniently abandoned her four years ago to join the Dark Lord’s army, leaving her to fend for herself and their sick mother.

When Wren’s village is attacked by the Dark Lord’s forces, she and her friends - several children of the other great houses, and potential children of the prophecy - are forced to flee into the woods. Wren and her friends must then embark on a dangerous mission: to find and recruit other members of the Nine; to venture beyond the kingdom wall and storm the Dark Lord’s stronghold; and to destroy a mysterious power source that amplifies the Dark Lord’s power and threatens their entire civilisation.

Throughout their adventure, encounters with friends and foes, both new and old, lead to alliances, relationships, and loyalties being tested. Friends are lost, secrets are revealed, and the Dark Lord grows in power.

Wren must prove to herself that she does not need to be a child of the prophecy to make a difference, and to fight for what she believes in. She must slip past the Dark Lord’s defences - including her traitorous brother, Kellen - and complete her mission. Because if she fails, the kingdom is doomed.

TW:

• Violence / battle scenes / death
• Death of a parent / loved ones
• Heavy themes of grief and guilt

Feedback: I’m open to any and all feedback you can give me! Would love some detailed feedback on characters / plot / pacing etc. but would also really like a general sense of whether or not people like the book. Would you keep reading? Which characters do you like / dislike and why? What scenes do you like the most? Is there anywhere you think I could expand or cut stuff out? What are your predictions as you read, and for future books? Etc

Timeline: For any detailed feedback that could warrant major revisions, I’d ideally like to get that in the next month or two, if possible.

For basic beta reading and general comments, I’m not too fussed!

Critique Swap: I’d be open to it yes, but full disclosure I’m currently already doing critiques / beta reads for a couple other projects, so I might not be able to fly through your project immediately! But if you’d be okay with a couple of chapters a week, then I certainly try to fit that in! Will update if my schedule opens up, but I just don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep atm!

As for what I read, I’m open to reading generally anything, but I mainly read fantasy / sci fi / mystery, in both the YA and Adult spaces

Excerpt: First chapter can be read here: https://docs.google.com/file/d/14kpXzxK5EAA-_qa2Dh1nMHoDdRXUE9wG/edit?usp=docslist_api&filetype=msword

Hello! I'm a new writer looking for some feedback on a little short excerpt from a longer project I've been writing, mostly just to see if it's any good. I'm not a huge writer, just starting out, but open to any/all constructive criticism.

Blurb: Experiences of a teenage girl, who's not entirely sure who she is, and is very misguided. A girl who's not necessarily mean, just kind of very unimportant to most people, on a very honest journey, trying to figure out who exactly she is, and who she wants to be. This particular part is her experiences with a boy she's met.

Excerpt:

Josh was something else. He was everything I wasn’t—confident, loud, and effortlessly cool. He was new to the band, and I would have to see him every day. He had this magnetic energy that I couldn’t ignore. Even though he was new, he fit in like he’d been there for years. He had all the qualities I thought I lacked, and I found myself drawn to him. I wanted to understand him, everything he was made of, what made him tick.

I couldn’t help but start spending more time around him. We started hanging out more, just the two of us. After school, we’d go grab food, or sometimes just drive around.  He had this way of driving that made me feel like we were always on the verge of disaster. He wasn’t reckless, exactly. It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to drive—it was just that he didn’t care how he drove. He treated the road like an extension of his own personality—unpredictable, untamed, full of a strange kind of chaos that made you both excited and terrified all at once.

We were in his car—some beat-up old Honda that smelled faintly of fast-food wrappers and his potent ass cologne—driving along the outskirts of town. The sun had just dipped below the horizon, and the orange haze of sunset lingered in the warm fall air, painting the world in a muted, fading glow. The roads were empty at this hour, stretching out in front of us like a long, open invitation to nowhere in particular. Josh had a habit of taking these drives—no destination in mind, just the freedom of movement.

I never really understood why I kept going with him. It wasn’t a friendship, not exactly. It was something else—something that kept pulling me back, week after week, like I was bound to him by some invisible thread. He didn’t talk to me like he did to other people. It wasn’t small talk, or polite chit-chat about school or the weather. It was like he was trying to pull the strings of my mind, testing the limits of how much he could influence me, how much he could make me believe in anything he said.

“You ever wonder what people think about us?” Josh asked, his eyes focused on the road as he steered the car around another sharp curve.

I shrugged, looking out the passenger window. “I think most people are too caught up in their own lives to care.”

Josh let out a low laugh. “Maybe. But I think some people just don’t get it. You know, the whole ‘be yourself’ thing? That’s bullshit. There’s no such thing as ‘being yourself.’ You just have to be what people need you to be. If you’re good at it, people will follow you.”

I didn’t know if I agreed with him, but it was hard to argue when he sounded so damn confident. Josh had this knack for making me question everything I thought I knew. He would go on and on, talking about how people had no real control over their lives, how they were all just puppets in a world that didn’t care about them. He didn’t seem sad about it, though. On the contrary, he seemed excited by the idea.

As the weeks went by, it was like I was slowly being wrapped up in his worldview, piece by piece. Every time we met, it felt like he was pulling me further away from who I thought I was and closer to who he thought I should be. I started to notice the subtle ways he would manipulate conversations, bending them to serve his own narrative. He would tell me what I could be better at, what I should be doing, what I was wasting—and I’d listen. At first, I argued. I’d say he was full of shit. But eventually, it was like I just started to forget to fight him on it.

Sometimes he would ask me questions that felt like they were designed to put me on the spot, to expose parts of me I wasn’t ready to acknowledge, like Socrates with one of his students. “What do you really want, though?” he asked one night, as we cruised down the empty streets, the radio blasting some song neither of us cared about.

“What do you mean?” I replied, not fully understanding the direction of the conversation.

“You. Your life. What do you want to do with it?” He said it like it was the most obvious question in the world.

I was caught off guard. When he asked me this, it felt different than it normally did. Almost as if he had suddenly realized he didn’t know me at all. So, I told him, with the little knowledge that for once I knew something he didn’t.

“I want to be a teacher. Change people’s lives in small ways. Little things can go a long way, you know?”

His grip seemed to tighten on the wheel. The car swerved just slightly before he corrected it with a jerk. He didn’t look at me when he spoke, but his voice was quiet, a strange sort of frustration. “Are you serious? A teacher? That’s what you want to do with your life? You’re smarter than that. You could do so much more, and you know that.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I’d never really thought about it in any other way. Being a teacher wasn’t about just doing the job for me. It was about getting to know people, helping people understand themselves, and the world, and hopefully making an effect on a whole generation of people, who could hopefully change the world. But at that moment, it felt like my entire worldview was being flipped upside down.

Josh wasn’t looking at me now, his eyes trained on the road, but his words kept hammering into my skull. “You’re wasting your potential. You’re meant for something greater than that. Something more ambitious. Something that actually matters.”

I didn’t respond. I just stared out the window, my thoughts tangled. Part of me wanted to fight back, tell him he was wrong, that helping people in that way, was the right way. But another part of me—the part that had been listening to him for weeks, watching the way people gravitated toward his confidence, his drive—couldn’t really think of a reason why that was the right way. I couldn’t fight him, because I had no reason to.

Josh turned onto a quieter road, heading toward the outskirts of town, where the houses thinned out and the forest started to grow, the sky much harder to see through the branches. He became much quieter than he typically was, every word he said had more intention in it. His words had a rhythm to them, a pattern that made me feel like he was the one who had the answers. He pulled over the car on the side of the road, no lights anywhere nearby other than the ones produced from the car itself.

He had this mysterious look in his eyes. Dark, and knowing, he turned to me, and for the first time in a while, I had not even the slightest idea what might be going through his head.

With a low grow he confessed, “I really want to kiss you right now.”

I didn’t know what to do. My heart was pumping so hard I could feel it. I had always thought I had wanted to be him not be with him. This is not what I thought I wanted but, the way he was looking at me, I wasn’t so sure anymore. No one had ever looked at me like that.

That night, something shifted.

His words—his arrogance—became a catalyst, something that sparked a change in me. He was so sure of himself, so confident that his path was the right one, and I figured, why not me? I wanted to. I wanted to be like him—untouchable, driven, unbothered by anything or anyone.

I did the only thing a girl could do in my situation. I kissed him.

Content Warnings: Some swears!

Feedback I'm Looking For: Really anything as simple as grammar and spelling, to as big as characterization. A really big thing for me in this writing is that the narrator is unreliable and not really likable, so it's written like that on purpose.

Timeline/Deadline: There is none!

Critique Swap: Can't really do one, I'm no good at critiquing so I can't really help anyone out.

Hi,

Is anyone keen to do a beta reading swap?

I have just completed a first draft of a sports romance. It features friends to lovers, mental health rep, second chance romance. It is an adult novel.

I would be very happy to read someone elses work in return?

Here is the blurb:

Sam Fletcher has two priorities: swimming and not embarrassing himself. He’s been training for elite competition since he was nine, which doesn’t leave much time for a social life—except for Kath Ford, his best friend and the only person who truly gets him. She’s the confident, opinionated extrovert to his quiet, slightly awkward, always-overthinking self. Somehow, it works.

For the past seven years, it’s been Sam and Kath against the world. Through awkward school dances, questionable first kisses, and the spotlight of elite sport they’ve always had each other. But now, things are shifting. Sam’s swimming career is taking off, pulling him into a world that Kath isn’t part of. But when unspoken feelings, and navigating living on different continents get thrown into the mix, Sam and Kath are forced to face the question they’ve been avoiding: Can their friendship survive if they stop pretending it’s just a friendship? And how do you find your way back to someone when you are no longer sure who you are?

Hi!everyone, may The Light protect you all,

I'm looking for a couple more free beta readers for a completed (102,000 words) epic/high fantasy with immersive world, deep rooted lore and strong characters dynamics, and i'm also available for swap feedbacks on 3 earliest chapters or up to 10,000 words, in a pdf or docx file, please message me if you're interested. Here is the short Blurb:

"Have you heard of the Firstbeing?"

“The land is rotting.” Bildor’s fingers clawed at the bark of a dying tree, its flesh crumbling to ash. His voice was low, raw with dread. “This isn’t plague—it’s unmaking.”

Above them, a lone starling shrieked.

Kestrel nocked an arrow, scanning the skeletal forest. “Tell me something I don’t know, old friend. Villagers don’t just vanish.”

Kyra vaulted over a moss-cloaked boulder, twin blades flashing. “They didn’t vanish. They changed.” She tilted her chin toward the shadows pooling between the trees—too fluid, too wrong. “Saw a farmer in Talonia last week. His eyes were… hollow. Like something ate him from the inside.”

Bildor’s staff flared white. “Zolgarth’s curse—it’s spreading. If we don’t find Aureon’s heir—”

A guttural roar split the air. The Vorlots came, clawed hands dripping with corruption.

Kyra’s blade struck first. “Less talking,” she snapped, “more killing.”

Kestrel lunged, swords a silver blur. “You’re keeping count again, princess?”

“Always. You’re at five. I’m at six.”

But Bildor barely heard them. His voice rose above the clash of steel, shaking with something deeper than fear. “They’re not just an army. They’re a warning.”

Somewhere, deep in the void, a voice slithered through the dark:

"Why guard lesser ants who steal my throne?"

"No… Alexis, please, don’t do this!"

Bildor fell to his knees, grasping at his brother’s feet as Alexis hovered above the dark sphere, summoned by Vesper.

Alexis looked down, his expression softening for the briefest moment. His lips curled into a smile—the same smile he wore as a child.

"I did it, brother. I reached immortality."

His eyes flicked back to the pulsing red sphere above him. Fire blazed behind them.

"Let me go, you old fool."

He ripped himself free.

The darkness swallowed him whole.

And far beyond the veil of existence, the Firstbeing awakened.

=========== ###### ===========

> What I'm looking for:

-High level feedback on what feels like when you read the sample chapter

-Thoughts about the writing, world buildings, pacing, and characters

> Critique Swaps:

-I'm open to critique swapping up to 3 chapters (beginning with 1 chapter to see if we're a good fit). I'm happy to give a mix of high-level and detailed feedback.

Thank you!

Hey everyone!

I’m working on a fantasy novel and would love some feedback on my prologue and first chapter.

I’m looking for feedback on pacing, character introductions, and overall readability. Does the opening hook you? Are the characters engaging? Any critiques or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1f0V_s4OemU2MSRTILmKEbc90BRVtg3XCqQJOObT75uE/edit?usp=drivesdk

Thanks in advance for your time and thoughts!

Hello! Thank you in advanced to any one taking the time to read my thread. I recently finished the first draft of my manuscript and I'm looking for some feedback before launching into the messy realm of revisions. If you are interested and want to read even part of it, please reach out via DMs.

Blurb -

Some dreams are meant to be followed. Others are meant to be feared.

Sloane’s world is turned upside down after her father vanishes without a trace. Left with nothing but questions and the lingering sense that something isn’t right, she’s drawn to an abandoned funhouse on the outskirts of town—where an ornate mirror reveals a world she was never meant to see.

Pulled through the glass, she finds herself in Slumberland, a realm where dreams take flight, nightmares prowl, and the line between reality and illusion is perilously thin. As she searches for answers, Sloane uncovers a long-buried truth about her heritage—one that ties her to the very fabric of Slumberland itself.

But Slumberland is on the brink of collapse, threatened by an ancient darkness that seeks to unravel the fragile balance between dreams and waking life. To stand against it, Sloane must harness abilities she never knew she possessed and the deeper she ventures, the more she realizes that power comes at a cost, and not all magic is meant to be wielded.

With the help of a regal protector, a charming rogue, and a talking bird with a penchant for shiny thoughts, Sloane embarks on a journey that will test the limits of her strength, her heart, and her very identity. Because in a world built on dreams, even the smallest ripple can become a storm.

Excerpt -

She stood on the edge of a clearing, where the ground seemed to shimmer with a soft, inviting glow. The landscape was both familiar and foreign, as if it was a place conjured from the deepest corners of her imagination.

As awe inspiring as it was, it was also strangely unsettling. The colors were too vivid, the sounds too melodious, and the feeling of being watched too intense. She turned, expecting to see the mirror she had just stepped through, but it was gone.

Panic swelled in her chest.

“Hello?” she called, her voice ringing out loud and clear. “Is anyone there?”

Catching movement out of the corner of her eye, she turned back towards the clearing just in time to see a tall figure seemingly rise up from the very ground itself, as though it had sprouted like some sort of grotesque tree. It was followed by another and then another, until there were so many that Sloane lost count.

They were thin with long gangly arms that hung past their knees, their skin appeared smooth and eerily pale and most unsettling of all was the lack of defining features. No eyes, no nose, no mouth, just a blank canvas where a face should be. 

Despite the absence, Sloane knew without a doubt that they were all staring at her in a manner she could only describe as menacing.

It wasn’t until they began to move towards her, however, that she felt true fear grip her. They moved in unison, swift and silent. Some dropped to the ground in a crawl, dragging themselves towards her, each movement disjointed but precise. She stumbled backward, tripping over her own feet in her haste, but managed to keep her footing before she turned and ran.

The forest, which had been so breathtakingly beautiful just minutes before, was now terrifying. The trees seemed intent on slowing her down, branches suddenly appearing in her path, grabbing at her clothes in an attempt to ensnare her.

Behind her, the faceless horde closed in— silent, relentless, and impossibly fast.

Content Warnings - Mild language and mild violence, themes revolving around loss, grief, identity and self acceptance.

Feedback -

I'm looking for honest but constructive feedback on character and plot development. Consider the following questions when offering your critique. It's just a guideline so don't feel pressured to answer every question.

• What was your overall impression of the story?
• What did you like about it the most?
• Was there anything you didn’t like about it? If so, what?
• Did the story grab you at the beginning?
• Were there any points where you started to lose interest?
• Was the story easy to follow? If not, why not?
• Was there anything particular that you found confusing?
• Was there anything that you had trouble believing or that seemed illogical?
• Did you notice any inconsistencies in the plot, with the characters, or with anything else?
• Did you find the main character engaging? If so, what was most engaging about them? If you didn’t find them engaging, why not?
• Overall, which characters did you find the most engaging, and why?
• Overall, which characters did you find the least engaging, and why?
• Were you able to keep track of the characters, i.e. who was who? Were there too many?
• Did you find the ending satisfying?

Timeline -

I'm really eager to get some direction to begin revisions so feedback received within 2-4 weeks is appreciated, partial reads or critiques provided in chucks/chapter by chapter is also acceptable.

Critique Swap --

I am going to be rather selective when it comes to this, I am a student and I work a full time job and barely find time to write let alone read these days.

However, I want to give back to the community so I will read and critique the first three chapters of any beta reader wanting to swap and determine from there if we're a good fit to keep going.