I [25 M] am a doctor (MBBS) from India. I come from a very religious (evangelical Christian) family. They are so serious about religion that it's the only thing that matters to them. They have asserted many a time (and still do) that god is above education, fame, money or even family. I am a hardcore atheist.

Before going deeper into my situation, I want to give a little background on my parents and our church. My father was orphaned as a child and was sent to a horrible boarding school where he wasn't fed well or taken care of properly because his elder brother's wife was a horrible woman who couldn't bear to look after him and his elder sisters were either too poor or too young to care for him; his elder brother was doing okay financially. It was a messed up situation. But he was later kind of adopted by a man who pitied him who later went on to marry on wof my father's sisters (they say him looking after my dad wasn't a factor in their marriage and that they only married each other because god told them to, but I'm sceptical). This man (now my uncle) was a newly converted Christian and thus my dad became one too. My mom was the eldest of four daughters of a government employee and they were relatively well to do.

The church we attend is like a semi-cult with a lot of in-group mentality. I've heard of parents being barred from attending their children's weddings because they married outside the church. It was founded by a high school teacher back in the early 1900s who left his comfy job because he received "god's calling". It was later run by his son who was a charismatic leader and he made it the international organisation it is today (though mostly concentrated in South India, with a handful of branches across North India and other countries). It's run like a family buisness. They are very homophobic and extremely religious but surprisingly pro-science regarding medical care or vaccines (though they emphasize how doctors can do nothing without god's intervention) but obviously are vehemently against evolution or the big bang theory. They also believe in literal demons and miracles. Every single serious church goer claims that god has spoken to them in some way and they make every decision after consulting with god (schizophrenia-level, I know)

As I said earlier, I'm an atheist. I'm also gay (out to a very few close friends). One of my biggest fears was disappointing my parents and causing them grief because of my beliefs and sexual orientation, due to which I was always depressed and even had panic attacks a few times. I'm a doctor who graduated a couple of years ago. My plan was always to go abroad and I've recently taken a licensing exam for a Western country which I passed.

Now my trouble starts here. I grew a little careless while I was abroad and after I returned, I was smoking on our rooftop when some workers doing renovations on our house saw me. I didn't know they went to the same church as we. So they told my dad and he confronted me. He asked me why I would do such a thing against god. It was a very emotional moment for me and I confessed I was an atheist and told them they should stop bothering me about religion.

They started crying and pleading and praying. I stayed resolute thinking this would stop but it went on for months. My uncle (who now is like their spiritual leader) got involved and I was forced to sit with them in prayers which sometimes would last for 12 hours a day (not exaggerating one bit). My mom stopped eating properly and started losing weight. All my aunts and uncles would cry and plead for my salvation. See, I love my family. They were never abusive towards me (except for the occasional spanking every Indian child is familiar with). Even now they've never tried to hit me. I felt like shit and started giving in to their demands. I would make short prayers with them and that would make them a little happier. I slowly resolved to myself that I would act like I was religious again and do whatever they wanted me to. That would mean I would stay back in India and later marry a girl of their choosing (I haven't told them I'm gay; even if I did, they would just try to cast out the "demon") who would most probably be an ultra-religious doctor.

But now I'm having second thoughts about this decision. I don't want to hurt my family to the point where they would die of heartbreak (I know it sounds dramatic but I believe it will happen). I also don't want to rot away in a life that I know I wouldn't be happy in. I contemplated suicide and even came close to it, but I want to live. I want to live and be happy just for once. I won't say I had an unhappy childhood but the one I had was marred by extreme rules and Sundays and most holidays filled with church or some stupid church convention. I don't remember a day in my life where every breath I take doesn't weigh me down. The scenario of me sitting down and having a rational conversation with my parents is next to non-existent. They're so rooted in their beliefs that a few conversations are not going to topple them. What should I do? Could a family therapist or counsellor help in some way or is it futile? I don't know who to approach.

I know this is a very, very long post. I wrote this while at my wit's end, sobbing and hyperventilating. Any advice on how to move forward would be appreciated.

Heads up, today I implemented the following AutoModerator configuration:

author:
	account_age: "< 2 days"
	post_karma: "< 1"
	comment_karma: "< 1"
	satisfy_any_threshold: true
action: filter
modmail: The {{kind}} by /u/{{author}} was removed. The account has less than 1 karma, or was created less than 48 hours ago.
action_reason: "Account age < 2 days; < 1 post karma; < 1 comment karma."
---
moderators_exempt: false
body+title (includes, regex): ["God ","Jesus","Amen","lord","to hell","(demon|satan)(ic)?","miracles?","holy","saved?","souls?","pray(er)?s?","lucifer(ian)?","bless(ed)?","payments?","crypto","coin.?drop","surveys?"]
action: filter
action_reason: "Text matches {{match}}"

This will auto-filter (requiring moderator approval) posts and comments from:

• Accounts with less than 1 karma, and accounts created less than 48 hours ago.
• Accounts using words espousing religion -- what folks here are trying to escape.

I'm open to ideas for other filter words and phrases, that folks see spammed here.

Stuck in an abusive relationship. Want to get out. All the shelters have interviews and only conditionally help us if we tolerate their proselytizing . Anyone got info?

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 1 posts:

• "Happy Cakeday, r/AtheistHavens! Today you're 11" by u/AutoModerator

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 3 posts:

• "Hello" by u/Perfilix
• "I am an agnostic in Africa and has been hounded and harassed and sacked for it.Is there any urgent resources to help me (and a few others)?" by u/Hulander2015-
• "Happy Cakeday, r/AtheistHavens! Today you're 10" by u/AutoModerator

Hello all, I am an atheist senior citizen looking to move out of this insanely religious state. I am in South Carolina and I was wondering if any of you might have suggestions on where I might find more supportive atmosphere?

I became agnostic after attending Catholic school.If you think the situation in Europe or America/Canada is bad; think again.The thick of the abuse is Africa and it goes on today. I was a victim so I can tell directly.(i actuall tried other churches thinking they were better,only to see they were as bad)

I was ostracised by my devout R.Catholic family after graduation,so I lost many of the advantages I should have had.I wandered from lowpaying job to lowpaying job till I landed a lecturing job about two years ago.They were supposedly secular but after awhile i realised it was simply a pretence. I then planned to save up and move on.Only the crises last year intervened and schools were closed,For the entire duration(about seven months here in Nigeria) teachers were unpaid.I used up my savings,sold some personal property.My thoughts and bitterness intensified during the long social restrictions.I decided long ago not to marry or date;bringing a child into a miserable African quality of life is horrible to me.

After schools resumed ,I slowly paid off accumulated debts,but then suddenly the whole religious harassment intensified,especially the 'thank jeeebus for ending the crisis' prayer sessions and'you gotta get married,its not good for a man to be alone;said jeebus in the bible'drivel.

Long story short I hit back and lost the job.I can nolonger afford daily wants such as feeding and laundry.My house lease runs out in two weeks and I have no savings.I live in a city in Nigeria,and I simply plan to go somewhere faroff to end it.Unless there some resource for agnostics I could access here.

Just saying hello. I check the sub regularly, and I'm sure others do. So I just want to make sure people in need don't think it's dead or something.

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 10 posts:

• "Looking for a place to stay"
• "Lesson Learned! Business & Religion Don't Mix!" by u/HattieMac
• "Good meal, cold beer & a sympathetic ear in Montreal." by u/TemporaryBoyfriend
• "Liberal atheist adrift in a conservative Christian small town" by u/Word_Panda7
• "Feeling Alone at Work" by u/LadyQuatherine
• "Burnsville, MN / Twin Cities - Can provide a bed, ride, food, and any other reasonable support" by u/etskinner
• "Haven in Bountiful, UT (suburb of SLC)" by u/bbdax
• "Food, friendship, support in Charlotte, NC" by u/fallingbrick
• "Being asked a lot about going to church" by u/theoneandonlyalexxxx
• "I need a place to move away from religion as soon as possible." by u/haroonahmad

While Charlotte is somewhat tolerant of Atheists, I know the surrounding areas are MUCH less so. If you need help getting out of a bad situation then let me know. I can offer transportation, food, a short-term place to crash as well as dogs and cats to pet (which always makes me feel good).

If you just want a sympathetic ear, feel free to reach out any time.

I've lived in this small town for years but can't quite seem to find connections with like-minded people. It seems like everyone goes to church and that's where they meet and hang out - there are many churches here - but unfortunately there's no place where people can just gather together and talk about ways to just be good people. I feel like my husband and I are the only people in town that don't have a "church home." Anyone missing that "church-like" connection (but definitely don't want the church part?)

(31F) So a lot of my coworkers seem to be at least somewhat religious and honestly when prayer or church is brought up, I feel super uncomfortable. I've been working there a few years now and while I am able to politely skirt such conversations, it always feels awkward. I have never been religious and I identify as Atheist, although I haven't mentioned that at work. I know that bringing it up probably isn't an option while I work there but is there anything I can do to make it easier?

I mostly wanted to vent a little bit since it feels lonely and uncomfortable at times to be around people who like to bring it up on a regular basis. I think if it ever got too bad, I might be able to say that talking about it makes me uncomfortable, but I've done this in previous work places and it just causes more questions. Sigh.

Thanks for reading/listening.

I'm looking for a temporary place to stay in Northern Kentucky. Can offer more details if needed

I can provide a bed, food, ride, talk, and any other reasonable support. PM me about your situation and I'll let you know if/how I can help.

I'm in Burnsville, MN, but I'm able to help you anywhere in the twin cities metro area (Minneapolis, St. Paul, etc.) and maybe a little further out.

I think every person deserves respect and love, regardless of their religious belief (or lack of belief). If your family or community feels differently, I'd love to help.

To catch some searches, here are some nearby areas: Eagan, Apple Valley, Saint Paul, Mendota Heights, Inver Grove Heights, Bloomington, Minnetonka, Shakopee, Plymouth, Edina, St. Louis Park, Saint Louis Park, Lakeville

Can provide food, shelter, emotional support, rides, general resources, etc. Happy drive almost anywhere in the state.

I consider myself an agnostic and my friend know that but he keeps telling me to join his church and I can get god into my life I am polite but day no but he keeps on pressuring me to do so and tells me about god I don’t want to be rude

I never thought I'd end up homeless but I would rather be homeless than stay with hypocrites...I'm a 51 year old woman, I have a 2 year degree from 33 yrs ago. I'm suffering from depression, lymphedema and asthma. I do have some marijuana in my system from smoking with friends so maybe a drug rehabilitation center can take me but I dont want to be pressured to attend any kind of religious services. I don't know who or where to turn to. I'll be homeless by Monday. I really need some advice.

Or if anyone knows of any church-based ones that don't make you attend services or say you're a believer in order to receive help.

Last post for Tucson is 7 years old.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AtheistHavens/comments/l5paq/tucson_az/

Exmormon here--I'm available to help.

Looking to make some new mates and get a bit of support

Are there any havens in Cape Town ,South Africa ?

I live in the middle of Kansas and would like to find an atheist community or group in my area. Do any exist? Is there anyone to contact to see if they have a chapter in my area?

My partner is an ex-Muslim that has been forcefully wed to a Muslim man in Ajman and is being abused there. Her parents won't support her as they're the ones who got her wed in the first place and definitely won't take her back home. She might be killed by her family members if she tries. She wishes to relocate while she sorts out plans. Does anyone know how she could do this in Ajman?

Can anyone pick me up from JFK? Im coming back from London and my parents said they won't pick me up so I am in trouble right at JFK airport in New York and I would need at least a ride to somewhere after the airport....

EDIT: Now in Burnsville, see updated post

Can provide a bed, food, ride, talk, and any other reasonable support. PM me about your situation and I'll let you know if/how I can help.

I'm in Eagan, MN, but I'm able to help you anywhere in the twin cities metro area (Minneapolis, St. Paul, etc.) and maybe a little further out.

To catch some searches: Burnsville, Apple Valley, Saint Paul, Mendota Heights, Inver Grove Heights, Bloomington, Minnetonka, Shakopee, Plymouth, Edina, St. Louis Park, Saint Louis Park, Lakeville

I find myself in a spot I didn’t anticipate, and I’m just trying every avenue I can for possible help. The super short version is in the title, but basically we’re going to have nowhere to go as of December 31, without stable income, and my fundamentalist parents are refusing to help on the principle that this is all my fault anyway.

I was married for 6 years to an abusive man. I kicked him out in 2016, ready to be independent and all (working full time, renting a duplex for 3yrs, dog-mom). I was raped shortly thereafter, and the PTSD from the marriage combined with that derailed everything and tanked my physical health to boot. I lost my job, picked up freelance work along with adjunct professorship, and was managing to limp along with my new wonderful supportive partner. Then he lost his caregiving job, and my contact where I was the contracted designer left, and the company decided to drop me, too. So then I lost my house. We stayed with a rather unstable friend, who became violent last month, so we more or less fled. Right now, we’re staying with another friend until her lease is up at the end of the month.

It’s this situation that led me to write to my parents for help. The messages are included below, both my original message and their response.

Since I’m adjunct faculty, I’m not paid during breaks. I won’t even get my first paycheck for the spring semester (that starts mid-January) until the end of February. Commissions and freelance work aren’t steady. We have no way of making it on our own.

In looking for a place to live, we also need to consider our pets. A small very calm dog named Sherlock and a very chill cat named Legion.

Since the messages themselves are so very long, I’ll end my plea here. If there’s anything you can do to help, it would mean the entire world to us.

I have PayPal set up at my formerly married name, https://www.paypal.me/danikelley.

I’m a graphic designer, hand-letterer, and illustrator (and writer and teacher…) so I also have a Patreon at www.patreon.com/fatgirlmedia

Venmo is @dlward

Thanks for the time you took to read this. I appreciate it so much.

“I checked with the secretary at HCC to see if I’d be eligible for unemployment between now and when I start getting paid again at the end of February. She said she couldn’t say, so I’ll be checking in with the state of Maryland next week to see.

All of the income-based housing options we’ve talked to have months-long waiting lists. We haven’t had a solid base of operations enough to gather the paperwork we’ll need to apply to get on the Section 8 list. [Spouse] plans to apply for disability, but he needs a permanent address in Washington County to be able to do that.

Basically, we’re stuck. I have commissions, he has the odd security gig, and we’re making sales, but we don’t have a steady or substantial income. Both of us are applying for part time work, but no bites. We just don’t have anywhere to go after the 31st.

Would y’all be willing to let us live in the basement until we’re able to get back on our feet? I know it’s not ideal, and I know that we’d need to set up ground rules (and seeing as it’s your house, you make most of those rules). We’re not rowdy people. We basically watch TV, play games, and talk. I just don’t know what else to do.”

Their response:

“Dani, I know how desperate you feel right now, because we feel the same way. We are literally and physically sick over how you came to this point in your life. It would not work for you to live here. Our lifestyles and world views are far too different to be in the same house together. We cannot live with the drama in which you are immersed. Your father’s health is at stake. The extra stress would aggravate your father’s cancer especially in light of the tests on the new nodule and the concern that the tumors may be growing. You know that we love you very much. It has been more than difficult to watch the choices you have made over the past few years. It is because of your choices that you find yourself at this point in your life. You and [Spouse] have had plenty of time to have found jobs and a place to live over the past year. If you had applied for section 8 when I told you to last year you would probably be very close to having a place by now. There are businesses all over town that are hiring and have been hiring during this past year. I know about your anxieties and your aches and pains. Your father and I deal with these things every day—and yet we worked through all of it. It is everything that I can do right now to get up every day and go to school, but I do it because I have no choice but to keep on. And I believe I hurt as much as you do and can be as anxious as you are. Expecting to benefit from people who do work full time when you won’t is not a realistic expectation. Real life doesn’t work that way and you were not raised that way. It would be different if you were working hard at jobs and taking responsibility for your life and for your decisions, but you aren’t. It is always somebody else’s fault and you are always the victim. We had to take over your school loan payments and we pay for your cell phone. I will wait until the end of January to discontinue your phone service. That will give you time to find a job. My advice is to check out the homeless shelters and rescue missions in the area and have [Spouse] start looking for a full- time job. I also saw a room on marketplace in Waynesboro that charges by the week to live there. I believe it was $150.00 per week. Perhaps your friends would let you stay with them for a while. If you have to you could probably stay in your office for a few days. Maybe [Spouse’s] sister would let you stay there. I believe it is time for you to reevaluate your priorities and your future goals and make a plan to reach them. We cannot help you in this cycle of aimlessness and drama. The most we can do is help pay for a month’s rent if you can find a room and bath. Our limit would be $600.00. There are rooms on marketplace for less than that and they are pet friendly. Please check them out. If you can find such a room or small apartment, it would give you two weeks to find jobs and work your way out of this situation. We are currently trying to get the power steering on the wagon fixed. [Mechanic] is closed until after the new year and it will need to be towed. I will let you know when it is fixed. If you both have jobs you will need both cars. We love you very much.”

Transgender 28 year old. Ive found myself in a rough situation with no home, no job, no car, and no safety net. Ive never been through this before, winter is on the way and I'm worried.

I have a bit of a plan but I'm looking for any resources I can get my hands on. Im honestly incredibly scared. If y'all have any advice it would mean a ton to me. Ive been on the phone for days sorting things out and trying to get out of this hole. It happens so fast and its so beyond your control...I dont even know what more to say.

We're an atheist family in lansdale, Pa that can offer a couch for short-term stay and internet for getting ones' life together.

Edit: I should clarify that a short-term stay is about 2 weeks based on circumstances. Internet, a fold-out couch and maybe a ride or two. <3

Hi, my name is Jake, I managed to escape the confines of my religious household 8 years ago. It's been an uphill battle ever since. Despite my best efforts, I can't land a job, and I'm out of money. I was hoping someone would tell me if this is a good place to link my GoFundMe campaign, and if not, then where I might do so. Time sensitive, please be prompt and helpful with your replies!