For me, it's smoking guys and most of the BDSM stuff

Hi everyone! Here is my story.

I’m from Vietnam and moved to Germany for studying and working. My family is also in Germany and France, so I decided to stay in Germany after finishing my studies (I’m still studying, but I’m almost done with my degree).

I met a guy here during my first year in Germany (that was 2020). He is German and was really nice to me, which is why I immediately fell in love with him. After six months of dating, I found out that he had a "kind of relationship" with an Asian guy (Filipino) in Dubai (you could call it a long-distance relationship). They had rarely met each other in person, but they decided to continue their relationship online. I discovered this and confronted him about it. He told me that this relationship started before he met me and was upset because I contacted the guy in Dubai and told him that we were getting to know each other. (At that time, we weren’t officially a couple, so it was my mistake to talk to the guy in Dubai.) After that, we decided not to talk about him anymore.

We still meet each other about twice or three times a month because I study a bit far away from him. When we meet, I usually spend about two to three days at his place.

I also know that he sometimes has sex with other people. He denies it, but I’ve seen him on dating apps. I also know the passcode to his phone, so I occasionally check to see who he’s been talking to. I’m okay with him having casual sex, as long as he doesn’t develop feelings for anyone else. Since we’re not living together for now, I can accept it.

However, there’s another Asian guy (other Filipino) he once told me was just a friend. I later saw that this guy had sent him nude pictures. (He has known this guy since 2018, before we met, and the guy is definitely gay.)

I didn’t think much of it until last week when he went out to meet his friends, and I stayed home alone. I found his old phone (he recently got a new one) and decided to check it. That’s when I discovered that he lied to me. In 2023, he told me he went on vacation with his mom and sister to Poland (where his father was born) to visit family because his mom is getting older, and he was worried about her. I believed him and wished him a nice vacation. But the truth is, he went on vacation to the Philippines with that same Asian friend.

I also found out that in 2022, when he said he went on vacation to Berlin with friends, he was actually on vacation with this Asian guy again. They are like FWB, they are meeting kinda more often than he meet me, but they don't public it with other people (I saw the pic, that my Boyfriend was naked in the same Bed with him and pics with the other member family of that guys)

To make matters worse, he is still talking to the guy in Dubai, saying things like, “Love, I wish you a nice day, I love you.” He only started telling me “Ich liebe dich” (which means “I love you”) last year. Before that, he used to say “Ich habe dich lieb,” which has a similar meaning but isn’t as serious or romantic as “Ich liebe dich.”

After four years of dating, we’ve never been on a vacation together. He once told me he wanted to go on a trip with me to Vietnam. I had already started planning how we could travel there, but now that I know about all his lies, I don’t think I want to go on this trip with him anymore.

I haven’t confronted him about any of this yet. After dealing with so much cheating and dishonesty over the years, I’ve learned how to stay calm and not make a scene.

I truly love him because he is much kinder than other guys I’ve met, but he has hurt me so much. I even developed depression when I first found out about his long-distance relationship and casual sex with others. It almost ruined my first two semesters at university, though the pandemic didn’t help either.

I know he loves me too, but he also loves having multiple people care for him.

I know many of you will say I need to leave this toxic relationship, but I still have a little hope for us. For now, I’ll continue seeing him until I graduate and find a job. Maybe I can use this time to let him help me with some things. However, if he continues like this and has no plans for a future with me (such as living together), I will break up with him.

I just don’t know where to share all these secrets. I don’t have many friends in Germany, and my best friends are in other countries, so I can’t tell them much. I feel like this is the best place to share my story.

I’m sorry for the long, boring story. I know many of you will already have answers for me, but when you love someone, it’s hard to decide to leave them.

Thank you for reading my story!

No, I'm not bi, but I was curious if tops would have the same thinking as bottoms "he's going to leave me for a woman".

I wonder if it's similar to how bottoms/tops see vers guys. Bottoms typically heavily discriminate against vers guys and tops just see them as another bottom.

In my opinion I don’t consider sexuality an identity or even a significant part of a persons identity. It just a matter of attraction with nothing deeper than that. I don’t need to advertise to the world who I sleep with. Why would I bring up my sexuality to people I don’t discuss my sex or dating life with? My sexuality becomes less relevant for me since I don’t do relationships for one relationships require time and patience and I’m almost maxed out on both. I have a job, workout at the gym, have a lot of different groups of friends. I require a lot of me time to the point that there’s no room for dating. So what relevance does sexuality actually have?

As a person I pretty much act like the men I idolize and look up to and none of them are gay. I naturally fit in more with straight men than gay men.

I’m currently at a terrible mental headspace… Dealing with a stressful week at work, while also recovering from surgery and the fact that my dog will have to be euthanized tomorrow due to intense sickness.

To top it off, my boyfriend left me about two weeks ago and also was probably cheating on me throughout our relationship, which has made me severely angry and in a terrible mood in the past days.

How do you people cope with being at this state and what can you do to go through times like this?

I’ll probably begin going to therapy, but due to the end of the year and full agendas i’ll probably only get to start it next year, so I’m hoping for something extra to cope.

Let me start off by saying I have no idea if "butt scissoring" is the correct word to use, and I'm happy to be corrected if it's not.

So, back in February, my fiancé had his golden birthday, and since it was a weekend, I thought it would be fun to give him a 'birthday sex' weekend to do whatever he wanted all weekend.

Well, my fiance decided to use that weekend to confess that he gets turned on by 'butts touching each other' and he wanted to try some stuff. Like sitting on my butt (in pants, underwear, and bare butts), rubbing his butt against my butt, each of us bending over and touching our butts together, each of us getting on all fours and rubbing our butts together, etc. At one point he spanked me, then sat on my butt and jacked off, he said my butt felt 'really warm against his.'

Anyway, I don't really mind any of this. We're still having "normal" sex and it's a really simple thing to accommodate. But I also really want to hear others' experience with this. Do you (or does anyone you've been with) also like "butt scissoring?" I'm ngl that it lowkey bothers me that I can't really find any information about this fetish(?). Also, if there are any guys who get turned on by this, what would you want your partner to do to make it more pleasurable for you? As it stands, I feel kinda passive or useless, like the only thing I'm offering here is my butt's existence, and that's a weird ass feeling for me.

Hmu please if u r older

We met here on Reddit (he might even read this post but idc lol) We met up for coffee and I initially assumed we will do some naughty things together but surprisingly he really just wanted to just chill out with someone.

He’s straight as what he said, has a girlfriend but he has this lingering feeling about sexual exploration. Tbh I applaud him for this because he’s vulnerable enough to explore it and just so happens that it’s with me. I talked to him about my life, sexually. I just kept on yapping to the point that I was introducing him to porn on Twitter and Grindr. He was turned on by guys on Twitter that he started massaging his dick under his pants. He did ask prior if it was okay for him to do it. I said yes. I was turned on too. Lol. But I did respect his boundaries and don’t want to make things awkward between us.

He invited me again today for coffee. I introduced him to a new place and he just parked the car and asked questions about Grindr. I told him pros & cons and it’s essentially a hooking up app. He said it’s shitty lol. Overall it’s a nice wholesome experience with a curious straight guy. He even identifies as Vers Top eventho he didn’t have sex with a guy yet but he’s exploring. As for me, it’s a nice wholesome experience for me to teach other guys about social stigma and new information that they may not know and also to introduce them about new things.

What happened with your non-sexual interaction with a straight guy?

So ive been recently smoking weed like small hits and i feel myself getting addicted. ive been high the past 2 days and im concerned i may not be able to control myself and seek harder drugs. Anyone else experience the same thing?

Overweight guys a chance. Almost every god damn time they come over they smell funky. Of course not every one of them has, but the higher percentage compared to more fit people is ridiculous. I love myself a husky dude, I don’t mind a belly, but from now on if you’re not at least huskular with some muscle on you I’m done. These chubby boys don’t even try to go to the gym to better themselves which also seems to correlate they don’t shower properly to also better themselves. If you’re reading this and you’re chubby, please SCRUB your body parts excessively hard for a while like I just had to do on my couch so you can get all the layers of off nastiness off you 🤮

I like men in general, specially older mature ones but a few years ago I started to look more into beefy, hairy, bears, bulls etc. and now I want them all.

I'm 34m bi and recently have been feeling the urge to hook up with another bro. But I am not in a position in which I belive that is possible. I know grindr is a thing and I'm on it but like I'm hesitant to interact. Essentially I just wanna suck a dude off and maybe more, but too much a whimp to do anything. Anyone got any advice for a sad bi loner? Also for a bit more context I haven't even touched another person since before covid like 2019.

I invited a married dude over ..he rocked my world and now I feel complete guilt. Go ahead and tell me what a awful person I am . I hated it..but desperate times calls for

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Tldr: I’m getting insecure about a hotter guy I met for a few dates, he’s not a texter, but active on social media. I’m opposite and a bit of a loner. His silence between meets bothers me the most, but I don’t want to blow it. What to do?

We met on Grindr of all places and started chatting about shared kinks first, but then he mentioned looking for a relationship and I was like „yeah, I’d like a relationship”. We both have some ltr experience and been single for 1+ years. First date was a rather silent walk, but pleasant. Second date were cuddles, drinks and film, I spent a night at his. Third was at mine, but he didn’t spend the night and I got slightly upset, but apparently he struggles to sleep outside of his bed. Chemistry seems to be there though - I could feel his heart beating fast when we cuddled.

Anyway, we are both pretty socially awkward me (34) even more than him (32), so our conversations aren’t perfect and I think we’re both quite guarded. Despite that we’re both geeky, openminded and have weird rituals. I’m extra careful I guess because I feel like he’s way out of my league (taller, more muscular, cuter face, even more experienced with kink). He keeps talking about his accomplishments etc, I just ask questions, sometimes say something about myself but largely stay silent. On top of that, he’s very active on social media and seems to have a decent circle of good looking and well-to-do friends, which I don’t. Currently I only have one friend I see regularly.

I think about him a lot. I tried messaging a few times between meets but those conversations are very short and he takes time to respond. Which is weird given his work gives him a lot of free time and he keeps posting on social media. Sometimes he doesn’t even respond to messages which aren’t clear questions.

We haven’t had sex yet, didn’t even kiss - which is fine, but I have this nagging feeling that he’s just trying to get back into dating and I’m his training ground or something. He asks very few questions about my life etc.

I guess my question is how can I test the waters? We only met 3 times so far. I don’t want to come across insecure, but also don’t want to jump the other direction.

Hey everybody!

My partner and I are getting officially married in August/September 2025. Does anyone have any recommendations for all inclusive and tropical locations that are gay friendly/inclusive?

Thanks in advance!

hey guys, just came on here to seek some advice.

I (18M) recently came back home to spend Christmas break with my mom and stepdad in Houston (I go to school in California, but any break/vacation I immediately come back home). Over thanksgiving a friend of mine recently moved out and had invited me to his new apartment for a "Friendsgiving" get together. There I met this really attractive guy (30m) and we hit it off immediately. My friends apartment is located in the Montrose area of Houston which has always been known to be more artsy and progressive area of Houston. Well after the party started to die down I got bored and downloaded, well, you know what (Grindr).

Eventually I got a tap from this profile and when I clicked on the profile I was floored. Literally it was like the man of my dreams stepped out of my thoughts and into my phones screen. Muscular, beautiful smile, deepest blue eyes, super intelligent. After trading pics and chatting for a bit we decided to go on a little brunch date that following Saturday.

Saturday rolls around, he offers to pick me up. When I get in the car, he gave me a rose and I practically melted. He took me to my favorite brunch place, even payed for both of our meals (I offered to Zelle him, he wasn't having it). Afterwards he takes me to a little lake around my mom's house and we cuddled on a bench, in the middle of nature with a blanket just looking at the lake and smoking. We talked about our lives, how it was for me coming out ( I come from a latino family, so it took a while for my family to accept it), how he struggled coming out too because he came from a conservative and religious family. we talked about politics and sensitive issues and realized we hold a lot of the same views. After all that I tell him it's getting late and I need to home.

Here is where I think it went wrong;

Around the time we hanging out, I got a text from my mom saying that she and my step dad were going to my step sisters house to be with my step dads grandkids, so the house was going to be completely empty. We get to my mom's and because no one is home I invited him in, and, well, we had sex.

Honestly y'all, & I know, tmi but it was some of the best dick I ever had. I am by no means a virgin or a prude, in college I had a few hook ups and casually dated a few guys but this was next level. He was kissing me, being gentle when I asked him, being rough when I wanted it, putting me in every position I asked , at one point I was so turned on I told him he could do whatever he wanted to me. Towards the end he was laying down on the couch and I was riding him and when I looked at him to make eye contact, he just started kissing me so passionately, like he loved me (honestly, just remembering it has me crashing out). He even had my legs shaking so bad I could barely move after we both came. We sat there on the couch just cuddling under a blanket for a bit then he said he should go because he had to work in the morning.

Fast forward to that morning, I texted him wishing him a good morning--did not receive a text back. A few hours later I double texted him again saying I hope he was having a great day. Later that day I texted him if I could maybe do something nice like take him some coffee or something sweet and that's when I noticed our messages turned green (we both have iPhones). I tried to audio call on FaceTime and that's when it was confirmed, blocked.

I spoke to my friend about it and he said it was probably because "I gave it up too easy". At first I thought that perhaps that could have been it because I did mention how I wanted to wait until maybe a 3rd or 4th date to do anything physical. However, I guess I kind of got too carried away with how "in to me" he presented himself, plus he seemed like such a gentlemen I literally thought screw waiting till the 3rd or 4th date I want it right this second. Now that im blocked with basically no explanation, I feel kind of like this dumb kid who read the signs wrong and basically got used.

Did I read the signs wrong? I figured if he just wanted a quick nut, why do all the extra work like take me on a date, pay for me and gift me a flower?

So Im 27 years old, fit, htting gym a lot, but sometimes I wonder what for. As i the title says I am positive. Got it from my drug and alcohol addicted boyfirend. I gotta say its not easy to spot all the red flags if you are not living together. We've been together for 2 years, information about addiction and HiV i got from him all at once. Long story short we broke up recently. I have a high sex drive, not into drugs and alcohol. I am also done with grieving, I know he's not wasting time crying for sure, damn he wasnt even when we were together.

I am scared of dating and putting myself out there. I am terrified actually. It may be one of the reasons I was holding on to this relationship no matter what, for so long. I know for people its a deal breaker. Are there any of you here, who had similar experience? I am just looking for some heads up And yes I am in therapy,

Im a woman, and I really enjoy reading the stories shared here. Before having sex with someone, I often find myself overthinking every little detail—like whether I missed a spot shaving, how my back looks in a bra, or if my boobs look droopy when I’m bent over. These insecurities tend to pile up, which is why I sometimes have a drink to relax beforehand.

I’m fascinated by the stories about Grindr meetups, where things seem to move so quickly, and people are comfortable getting naked in front of a stranger. How do you push past those small insecurities and embrace the moment? Hopefully, I’m phrasing this in a way that makes sense

I’m Gay and I want to start dating but idk if I need to tell him I’m Aromatic and gender fluid because i don’t want any confusion for them or make them uncomfortable

Should I tell them or is this something I don’t need to tell them I don’t know what to do I tend to overthink myself to death and not wanting to make a mistake

I hate when self called "open minded" people say this and i see a lot of them at my school and their stupidity bothers me, either become an atheist or keep being a bigot no one will talk to

So i am married and consider myself bi. I have sucked more than my fair share of cocks but they have all been randos from grindr or sniffies. My question is has anyone tried anything with straight friends? What gave you a clue he may be into it? I just really cant read guys like i can women but kinda have a crush on a couple of guys i have known for what seems like forever.

Hey there,

I'm traveling to SE Asia for vacation and I was wondering if it was ok to carry a bottle of Prep with me for the extra safety. I'll be going around to Thailand and Philippines with a stop by Hong Kong. My biggest concern is actually regarding HK, has anyone been there with Prep from outside? What about the customs situation?

Thanks!

I have been oral and bottom curious for as long as I can remember, but have only hooked up with another guy once before. We took turns stroking and sucking (I really enjoyed sucking 😋), and he licked and fingered me a little. We didn't have any lube or rubbers, and his fingering had gotten a bit uncomfortable... so even though I really wanted to bottom... and he really wanted to mount me, we ended things with oral. It never worked out for us to meet up again and we eventually lost touch, life happened, I was married and started a family.

All these years later... I never been able to stop thinking about it, even though I haven't hooked up again. It led to me finally buying my first toy. I bought it to try to satisfy my apparent oral fixation and desire to give oral again. So I bought a realistic penis dildo with a suction cup. I've played with it orally a few times and am so tempted to play with it anally... but it might just be too big. It's 8.5in. However, my question is about anal virginity... is my anus going to be "normal" after it has a penis or something the size and shape of a real penis in it?

Sorry for my long post, thanks for reading it. I'd love to chat if you're interested. 😊 Thanks

I used to be open about my sexuality for years. After receiving constant unwanted attention, drama, and just general bullshittery, exclusively from and involving gay men, I decided to be covert about my sexuality instead. One year later, and I have successfully not found myself in any of these situations.

Anyone else?

And are any of them here 👀

I feel absolutely disgusting with myself I’ve never done something like this in my life. It’s not because the dudes gay but I’m straight and I wouldn’t have done that if drugs and alcohol were involved. I didn’t even look at the dude when we were watching porn and I ended up stopping because I felt uncomfortable. He’s a cool dude I know him from the bar and ended up chillin with him at his place after and didn’t think anything off it till we started looking up tits and he said let’s watch watch some porn I didn’t really care cuz I was hammered and doing blow. But then he just started jerking off I didn’t even look at him. 20 minutes later I started doing it but then stopped and left cuz I realized what I was doing and it was not a turn on to me and actually disgusted me. He didn’t finish neither did I obviously. He didn’t touch me I didn’t touch him. I just feel like shit right now. Any advice.

I let a guy kissed me on a club last friday.. Didnt say anything and let him continue.. just a couple seconds and I got out of the club.

I was so regreted on the way home.. veyr sad and dissapointed on my self, cause i really loove my BF and always say that I could never cheated on him.. ever.. and I did it.

Its was just a kiss, nothing else happen, and its the first time I did something like that.

Told my BF abbout it, cause I wanted so be honest with him.. and he left me.. a lot of things were say.. I cried a lot and asking him to forgive me, and that I reaaally love him. But of course he didnt believe me and says that he was dissapointed on me and that he thought that I was different.. that hurt my heart so badly..

I still have hope that we can get back together,, cause I regret myself a lot for that, I love him so much and I think that a insifnificant kiss can´t destroy everything we got, those many serius talks.. those laughts and cute moments together.. the 2 ships that we have made.. I dont want to lose him.. but dont know how can I get him back..

What’s the smallest of act that will make you feel loved?