Might as well. Apps suck. Straight men are dressing gay

How do you fellas empty and keep your "poop-chute" ready for play? I like to "evacuate" mine using the handheld shower attachment with warm, low pressure water. I don't always eliminate completely and any residual poop sometimes is stubborn. Love to present a clean "work surface" for rimming, analingous (sic) and going between both holes and ATM with wifey. Clean up is easy and any poop gets washed down the drain.

You've got a faceless mirror picture and your bio says "be more creative than hey". What do you even expect?

Most people greet strangers in real life with hey/hello. A simple "Hey" is of the easiest ways to weed out the psychos.

Either way, what's your favorite opener?

Hey y’all,

I’m (25M) traveling to the DR next week with my sister to an all inclusive resort and I was wondering if any other gay bros have been and used Grindr there.

Yes, I know that meeting up with strangers always carries some risk, especially in a foreign country. But I have seen a lot of posts while researching this that suggest it’s straight up dangerous to use Grindr at all in the DR and that the country is homophobic and I will be targeted.

Is this just fear mongering, or should I actually exercise caution?

Tbh, I feel like there’s maybe a 20% chance that I would actually go through with meeting up with someone while there (mostly because I’m with my sister).

I’ve heard lots of great things about the men in the DR, so at the very least I want to browse and see who’s around. Maybe if there was a cutie staying at the same resort as me I would meet up with them.

More generally, are the touristy areas of the DR lgbt friendly?

Edit: hoping for first- or second-hand accounts in the responses please, not baseless fear-mongering 🙏

So I met a guy on Friday night after a night out. I was invited over to his place, we chatted a bit and had some fun. The sex was passionate and great - we were both really into each other. We went for a few rounds, but I feel like as soon as he came, he seemed a bit off. We cuddled for a bit, I showered, and left his place.

I messaged him yesterday to say I enjoyed it, but he gave a weird cold vibe. I don’t understand why. I know he definitely enjoyed it a lot last night, and I want to see him casually again for fun given the chemistry. How should I process this / What should I do?

I've been with my current boyfriend for about a year and we barely have sex (anal, oral, any kind of sex). He's vers top, I'm more btm, late twenties. His sexual drive is quite low, we discussed it in the past. I'm a very sexual person, but I accept having sex once a week/every other week. It doesn't even need to be anal, I'm okay with oral or masturbation. Not a big issue. But it's getting frustrating. I really like him but he NEVER shows any interest... He never talks about sex. Sometimes I give him some hints, sometimes I tried being very direct. He never tells me he wants to have sex with me. I'm always the one initiating it (at least trying...). However, I know he masturbates and watches porn... So it makes me wonder why he isn't showing any sexual interest. It seems like he enjoys sex with me, it's quite great when we (rarely) have it. I also consider myself an attractive guy, never had a problem finding a sex partner... I don't know what to do 😭

20 M, United States

Okay so honestly I feel like (growing up especially) I had a hard time relating to other guys, I wasn't really into the things they were into. Now that's a little different I know have interests that other guys have. (Hiking & Traveling just to name 2)

As time progressed, I still feel like that's the same. I feel like things are just awkward around me and other guys. Whether they're straight or not. I only have ever had 1 guy friend in the past couple of years.

I've never been in a relationship, but I know i'm attracted to guys, I've never been with a girl. and I'm still a virgin, but I fear that if I don't learn how to not feel awkward around guys that will never change.

honestly, it happens whether or not I think the guy is attractive. sometimes, I just lower my voice from what it naturally is when talking to some guys, it just kinda happens...

Honestly anyone who's experienced this/anyone who has any advice. I'd be so appreciative! :)

I'm Bi curious and wanted to experiement so called a guy over and ended up toppijg him PIA but just my tip. I still consider myself a virgin but idk atp‼️

I'm 24 and have been questioning my sexuality for years but I've never acted on anything or experimented. Now I'm out of a relationship and am "free". These feelings of wanting to at least try with another guy are rushing back in but I think deep down I'm kinda scared of being gay if that makes sense.

Like I always download Grindr but never commit to meeting someone, and sometimes I change my bumble to look for guys, but again, I feel like it would be weird for me to go on an actual date with another guy. Like one part of me knows I want to at very least give it a shot, but the other part of me is telling me that I'm not gay and I shouldn't.

I just don't know what to do or how I can act on this or slowly push my boundaries to actually properly discover my sexuality.

I am going to Chicago for my birthday, turning 40. I want to go to steamworks. I worry about mail arriving at my house, I live with my mother, who does not know that I’m gay, when I was 16 her and my stepfather found some porn I threw away and they both flipped out , I lied and told them someone put it in my backpack and they believed that, or at least stop yelling and never brought it up again with anyone as far as I know. I would just like to know how to go about getting it, can I just go to cvs and use there minute clinic or will they mail anything about this, I could get a P.O. Box and use that for address?

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Im looking for someway to eliminate grindr from my app stores since i have no self-control 🥲

I really want to know how Trump supporters feel after supporting this guy. I know it's been less than two weeks, but he's made some major changes that are already affecting people horribly.

edit Why or why not? Please explain.

I'm not judging I'm just curious

Hey, gay bros!

I (24, M) just want to share something and get your insights because, honestly, I don’t know how to feel about this whole situation.

So, two weeks ago, despite me actively promoting a boycott of the yellow hookup app inside the app itself—yes, I had the audacity—some guy messaged me out of nowhere. His first words? "I love your confidence." Now, I had no idea whether he was referring to my profile or the fact that I was basically trashing the app while still using it. So I just hit him with "I'll take that sarcasm as a compliment," because let’s be real, most dudes on that app (including me at times) can be pretty sarcastic.

Hours later, he finally replied, this time saying that he loved my body, especially my butt (as a vers bottom lol). And yeah, my profile photos are almost nude—don't even ask me how the app let them stay up lol. So at that point, I was thinking, Ah, just another horny dude trying to slide in, hoping to see more, or maybe even meet up for a little boombayah. But then, things took a different turn.

His profile had zero personal photos. No face pic, no body pic—nothing. Just a random anime character as his profile pic and a bio that read something like: 6’0”, 20, cute, shy, and well-endowed (fat coc*—his words, not mine). Now, normally, I wouldn’t entertain someone with zero verification of what they look like, but since I was bored, I played along. And to my surprise, he was actually sweet and charming—not the usual dry, one-word-reply type. In fact, our conversations barely revolved around anything superficial, which was unheard of for that app.

Then came the part where he asked if I was single. I told him yes, and that I had never been in a relationship. This shocked him. He couldn’t believe that someone like me—his words, not mine—had never been asked out. I gave him my reasons, and he seemed to get it.

We kept chatting, sometimes flirting a little, and he never skipped a day without messaging me. Eventually, we started exchanging voice notes, and—wow—his voice? Deep. Manly. Attractive. Marry me. And that’s when my internal alarms started going off because—plot twist—I still hadn’t seen a single photo of him. He kept reassuring me that he was cute and that people, both men and women, found him attractive. He admitted he was on the thicker side but said he’d been working out.

Eventually, we ditched the app and moved to another platform. Our voice notes turned into actual voice calls—hour-long ones, daily. And here’s where it got even trickier: he was serious. Like, actually serious about me. He even told me he was finally ready for a relationship again after his last one ended two years ago. He kept saying how much he loved our conversations and how I made him feel excited about love again.

Now, here’s the thing. At first, I was just going along with it, not wanting to hurt his feelings. But deep down, I felt nothing. Not because he wasn’t interesting—he was—but because I was skeptical as hell. One, I’ve never been in a relationship before, so the whole idea is already foreign to me. And two, I still had zero idea what he actually looked like. Like, what if I finally see him and boom—no attraction? I don’t want to ghost him just because of that, but I also don’t want to fake feelings out of guilt.

His excuse for not showing his face? He was too shy because he found me very attractive. Which… okay, but why hide?

Long story short—he set a date for us to finally meet and definitely more next week. And I’ll be honest… I feel a little excited. But at the same time, if things don’t turn out well, I know I’ll end up feeling guilty, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

So, what do you guys think? Am I overthinking this? Please be kind. Thank you very much, guys! I love y’all!

How do you navigate your relationship? And how did it start for you? How long have you been together? Genuinely curious, just asking to see more perspectives. Show us ways to have a healthy partnership and how you communicate, etc.

My dad was absent and when he was aroumd ge was alwags emotionally unavailable. He was only there financially. I am 23 y/o.

The last few years I realised I am into older men 50+, then I kinda realised that i wouldnt like a partner i cant live the rest of my life with. So I compromised with liking men in their 30s. But last month am very much into daddies. Love talking to them, like tying me in the bed, blowing off their needs on me, serving them me be their toy boy.

My therapist realised i love daddies but ge did not understand am into 50+. Want to be theirs, telling me how cute and sexy am i, being theirs, loving me unconditionally.

Can you resonate with that? What should i do?

Some evidence suggests slightly higher risk for fecal incontinence for bottoms, although this is probably just if damage occurs: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609521006238

Did you experience ANY incidents of leakage of stool in the past year?

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Hi everyone. My name is referred to as Shadow, Dr. Shadow, or Master Shadow. Although I don't have much hands on experience, I'm learning to take control of my life and what it is that I want from a submissive. I am Neurodivergent with Aspberger's Syndrome. So, at first I'm shy and a bit awkward, but once I get to know you, I'm more open. There's all sorts of kinks I like, but if you're interested, feel free to send me a DM of my ultimate fantasies. Preferably looking for a muscular man who is finacially stable to control every aspect of his life; but also marriage and a romantic partner as well.

Hi guys, I’m heading to La Démence on Friday night. Have never been. The theme is ‘Second Skin’ and was just wondering what that actually means as a dress code (there’s no info I can find on their website/IG) and whether they are quite strict about dress codes? Any advice/tips welcome, thanks!

Hey everyone, I wanted to provide an update on my situation since my last post : https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/1i53cb0/confused_about_where_i_30m_stand_with_a_guy_31m/

To recap : I had been seeing this guy since early November. Things started out great, he was affectionate, suggested outings, and genuinely made an effort to see me. But over time, he became distant. When I brought it up, he reassured me that he valued our connection but wasn’t ready for a romantic commitment due to his fear of attachment and heartbreak. He wanted to keep things open-ended and fluid, without labels, while still spending time together.

At first, I told myself I could go along with that as long as we were honest and he was single. But as the weeks passed, his presence in my life became more sporadic. He stopped initiating conversations, and I felt like I was the only one keeping things going. His reassurances started to feel hollow, especially when he seemed to have time for everything except responding to me.

I had no idea what was going on with him. He never told me about any major issues, just that he was "busy" or "tired". I didn’t want to pressure him, but his absence started to feel like emotional neglect. I kept overthinking, wondering if he had lost interest but didn’t want to say it outright. Eventually, I hit a breaking point, I felt like I was being ghosted in slow motion, and I couldn't take it anymore. I sent him a message saying this situation didn’t work for me and that I preferred to end things before getting hurt.

To my surprise, his response was full of sadness, he told me he was overwhelmed with personal and work-related stress, including his father undergoing a critical operation and a recent car accident. He admitted that he had been absent but that he still cared. That’s when I realized how unfair this situation was. He himself acknowledged that he was responsible for my reaction. He told me he understood why I had sent that message because he had left me in the dark. Yet, despite admitting this, he still acted as if I was the one who destroyed everything.

I tried to explain that my message wasn’t about punishing him or being needy, it was my way of protecting myself from what I genuinely believed was a slow fade. Had I known what he was going through, I never would have assumed he was losing interest. But how was I supposed to guess that? He never shared anything with me until it was too late. And somehow, I was the one paying the price for that lack of communication.

What also frustrated me is that, for him, being present didn’t mean texting or keeping a connection alive, it meant giving him space to deal with his problems. But how was I supposed to know that? For weeks, I was anxiously waiting for some sign of life from him, not realizing that, in his mind, my silence would have been the greatest proof of support.

I sent him a long, heartfelt message explaining how I had felt during his absence, how I misunderstood his silence, and how I still cared about him. But the damage was done, he told me that my message about ending things had deeply hurt him and that he didn't want to go through another emotional rollercoaster like that. He said there was no going back.

I tried to salvage things, to show him that I understood now, that I was ready to communicate better, and that I wanted to find a way to meet in the middle. But he had already made up his mind. He said that even though he accepted my apology, he needed to protect himself and didn’t want to risk going through the same thing again.

We ended the conversation on civil terms. I told him that I respected his decision, but that I would always think fondly of him. He reacted to my last message with a heart emoji, but he hasn’t reached out since.

Right now, I feel lost. Part of me wants to hold onto hope that, after some time, he might reconsider and we can rebuild something. Another part of me knows I need to let go and move on.

But what frustrates me most is that this feels so unfair. He admitted that his lack of communication led to my reaction, yet I am the one who gets blamed for ending things? I am the one who gets punished for reacting to the void he left me in? That doesn’t sit right with me.

For those of you who’ve been in similar situations, how do you navigate feelings of regret when you realize you misinterpreted things? And how do you accept that sometimes, no matter how much you care, you might not get another chance?

When I was in my early 20s I got told by some people that I look like Channing Tatum which took me by surprise because at the time I thought my facial features looked more feminine than masculine.

I'm wondering how many of you actually find Channing Tatum attractive? Or is it only a certain segment of people that do?

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would it be against grindr policy to have in my bio that i'm looking for a cam partner?

I'm 31, 179cm tall and nearly 200lbs, the most I've ever weighed. I'm mostly into twinks. I've had a fair share of hookups with twinks over the years but not as much as I would like.

There are many times when I can go on a 4 to 7 day vacation, I'm active on Grindr all the time and still I don't meet anyone. Even when I message 50 to 100 twinks a day, I get back maybe 4 or 5 responses and out of those most of them don't continue replying further and the one or two you do keep chatting with eventually cancel or block you.

Today while on vacation it hit me, how much bad luck I've been having lately and it made me sad. I know I have to lose weight and get fit. It's my goal. But in the meantime, I don't know. I'm so tired of trying, I feel like just quitting Grindr until I'm in shape. But I thinķ thats also my sadness speaking.

For those of you who have been to this cruise: I’m going for the one that starts on 2/22 in San Juan. They just opened the reservations - for everything - what should I pre book right away and what can wait? I got a new CC - for the bonus - but it won’t be here for another week.

Hi, I(M19) am ready to start doing anal but im scared to use a real man. So instead i started wondering what toys could be good for beginners. Any tips advice or recommendations would be deeply appreciated!!

How do you tell someone they have bad breath? Or if you are on the receiving end of the critique how were you told?

I have a friend that I think might be losing out on second dates because of his bad breath. It’s gotten worse over time.

We DL men get a lot of crap on here, but in my experience being DL is better. To us, gay experiences are an escape from real life. That makes it more exciting than it would be if we blended the two. There's no commitment involved. We have our fun and then we go back to business as usual. And if legally stuff hits the fan we won't really have anything to lose. No one to answer to, neither so- called boyfriends or husbands or government officials. No pressures or coming outs. Just fun.