Confused allo trying to understand better.

So... what exactly does 'romance' mean to you guys

Like, I've heard of Aro people being in, or wanting relationships.

I don't doubt that you do, and I don't think it makes you not Aro, but I'm just not really sure how that works, so I just want to know what it all means to you.

I've always thought that there are two types of love and relationships.

Platonic (for family, friends, and acquaintances)

And romantic.

I always thought that the act of being in love, being 'in a relationship', having a spouse or significant other, having feelings for someone, finding 'the one', was romance.

Was I wrong, or does romance mean different things to different people?

And for things like platonic partnerships, what sets it aside from a normal friend? What makes that person/people different from your other friends

I hope nothing I said came across as Aphoic. That is the last thing I want, and I'm asking these questions so that I can learn, and understand better, and try to avoid being Aphobic.

Basically it means "Unable to distinguish romantic attraction", though it's more complicated than that. The Aromantic Wiki has a better explanation https://aromantic.fandom.com/wiki/Quoiromantic.

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I'm aromantic myself and the thought of dating makes me ill or disinterested. I currently am in a non romantic partnership with an alloromantic so I understand the want for QPRs due to affection, emotional closeness, etc.

I don't see why a romantic relationship would be necessary for these needs considering QPRs exist and one doesn't need to know QPRs exist to be in a relationship alike to one (my bf and I don't label it that and my bf is alloromantic with little knowledge of it).

However why would any aromantic want to put themselves through the discomfort of romantic relationships when they have no romantic attraction? There's actually no benefit but all cons in my mind. Like why would a gay person want to be in a relationship with a straight person?

At least with Asexuality you can say libido (although masturbation is a thing) or wanting biological children and doing it in a way that's not expensive if they want to participate in sex.

I wonder whether some of these people calling themselves cupioromantics are just not aware they are romantically attracted or are aromantics dealing with internalised arophobia or ignorance about QPRs.

The only reason I can see is that they are actually romantically attracted and QPRs & close friendships aren't "enough" to satisfy their needs.

Hi, well I'm pretty sure I'm aromantic the simple idea of have a romantic couple is not something to born of me, but I think than marry is something beautiful, the cake, the suit, the promese of forever love, maybe this sounds freaky or included dement but sometimes I like to imagine myself with a couple and I love it I called it my favorite dream (is not something than happens always) just some times and I feel I'm going to be crazy, (it's more a voice of help actually) than tell me everything is gonna be ok that kind of things. Whatever if I'm honest i love wedding not marriage. Probably this sounds weird but if someone can help me, I appreciate it. Excuse me for my English

I thought I was aromantic but. i'm a bit confused, first happy pride well the thing is i have a classmate i like, i really like him he's not like the other people i've "liked" i just wanted as friends, i really would like to have a relationship with him , hold his hand, kiss him, smooth his hair, fall asleep on his shoulder, we are not friends nor do we have a kind of relationship in fact we hardly talk but even so I can't get it out of my head and it's not like when you don't get something or someone out I really enjoy thinking about him, he's not even that attractive but still, he's one of the few people I can look into his eyes, his beautiful black eyes, he has a beautiful smile and the truth is I feel strange when I feel this at 18 years old and not before, my sister says that she felt romantic attraction at 20 but she did have partners (if she liked them) but I had no interest in relationships of any kind until now.

Am I still Aromantic if I have a crush on fictional characters? (I could just be a squish or gender envy because I suspect I’m trans. Or I could be an actual crush.)

How could I describe it from their point of view when they feel that? Would their mindset be "I'm not familiar with this, get it away from me." or not? How would different people react?

Whenever I talk about it with people, they're just like "Ah, you're just a kid. It's nothing." but it doesn't feel like "nothing".

17. I like the thought of dating a woman, but I have never been attracted to one specifically, or anybody for that matter. Never crushed on anyone, or "liked" anyone, or loved anyone. I've definitely felt platonic, but not romantic. Maybe it is normal and I'm just overthinking it, but it doesn't feel normal. Everyone around me is "liking" people or "catching feelings" or outright dating. And I'm asked the question, and the person has to specify if I really haven't even "liked" anyone, as if it's abnormal.

I've always wanted a romantic relationship but any time I think I like someone I usually lose interest romantically within days or weeks... then I start to wonder if I ever liked them and then it's back to not finding a crush for the next like 9 months... basically- could I be aromantic even though I really want to be in a romantic relationship?

(TW: suicide, death, trauma, gun violence)

Ever since I was 4 years old I've always loved the idea of being in a romantic relationship, whether it was with a man or a woman. (I'm a bisexual male) And when I was nearly 13, I got my first boyfriend. I know I was young but what I felt with him was genuine love, I really REALLY liked him, and he liked me too.

But unfortunately, 9 months later he shot himself in the head. I was devastated, heartbroken, and destroyed. Ever since his passing I haven't been able to look at anyone the same way I looked at him. It's not like I still love him or anything, he's dead. But it just isn't the same.

I started to realize that that relationship was the only one where I had felt like that, and started looking into the fact that I might be aromantic. I came across this one label called cupioromantic, which described me perfectly. I still want to believe I can fall in love with someone, and I still want to be in a relationship too.. But I just.. Can't.

I'm partly happy that I've found a label to describe my romantic identity but I can't help but think my ex-boyfriend's death is the reason I turned out like this. To be completely honest, I still cry about him sometimes. I miss him, like a lot.

Am I aromantic or just traumatized? Because at this point I just don't know anymore.

This is not made with hateful intent, I am just interested if anyone knows how and/or when the aro community decided that Aromanticism is a spectrum or that you can be aro and still have romantic attraction e.g. demiromantic, greyromantic, etc. because as an aromantic it really confuses me how people with romantic attraction are still considered part of the aro community.

Hi so for context I've only ever been in romantic relationships (having only just recently accepted I'm aromantic) so I have no expirence with committed relationships that aren't romantic. How do they work? What do I call my "friends" now? Bf/Gf? Queer platonic partners? I've heard zucchini, marshmallow, and mallowfriend? How do I get this right? This is also my first polyamorous (polyaffectionate? What's the term?) Relationship ever, how do I make sure they both feel equally appreciated and loved? I want to make sure I get this right :']

Hi im 18 f and my sister 26 wants me to really get a bf because in our culture it’a tradition to marry around the age of 19 to 20 and my family is really pushing it and dating has always been really difficult for me and I just found out about Aromantic and I was wondering if maybe that’s what I am I just think dating is really stupid and for no reason like im happy for other people but me personally I don’t feel like that’s what I want when I think about dating I get excited for that one second and then when I talk to a guy I get disgusted or just bored maybe im aromantic idk help please

I've identified as demi/grey romantic for a while but I've noticed that my feelings for that person spike heavily when I think about them reciprocating. Is this normal or is this unique to recipricoromantics

I have Identified as a lesbian for 2 years now and am comfortable with that label. I was in my first relationship but something inside of me didn’t fit like something was left out. Im thinking I may be aro bec I have never had a crush but still was wants a relationship but that idea off puts me. What am I? Asking for help !

Is it possible to have confused my sexual feelings for people for romantic feelings?

Like Ive been pondering this for several days now. Ik I feel sexual attraction (even tho Dysphoria really fucks with that) but Idk if Ive ever properly felt romantic attraction...

I like the idea of romance and doing some things that are considered romantic tho thats where my doubts comes from tho...

but Idk if Ive ever actually felt romanic feelings towards someone ;-;

can anyone help me here?

This is a question that I'm kind of hesitant to ask because I feel like it's fairly obvious that I would be able to, I know labels are more for the person they describe to help describe themselves than anything. I've been struggling to find labels that fit, and I found one that I think describes me, but not 100% (recipro, if you're curious). If I found another one that felt like it described the rest of me that recipromantic doesn't cover, I could use them both, right? I just kinda need to hear it from other people as well that it's ok, I think

I know this is a weird question to ask in this specific community but I'm still curious as I've watched a podcast (?) with alloromantics and they pose the question: "Is Love a Feeling or a Choice?"

From your learnings in the world we live in, what would be your answer to this question? Thank you for answering and stay safe!

I feel completely repulsed by romance books and thinks like that, but i want to be in a romantic relationship and have had some crushes. Is that normal?

Are there aromantic people that will be in a relationship even if they aren't romantically attracted to someone?

I've never experienced aesthetic attraction towards anybody I've had a crush or almost crush (just borderlining between platonic and romantic attraction)

I don't know if this is normal, but I just don't experience aesthetic attraction to anybody ik irl, like maybe the odd celebrity or influencer but never someone ive seen irl.

Like idk if this is a thing or I'm just over thinking

I'm already pretty sure I'm arospec but I had this question, I hope I'm in the right place

[edit:] typo

I never really cried at the end of a relationship, but I cried at a end of a friendship. I'm I aromantic?

im having a discussion with someone on a game, and someone said that Aro bi's can exist, but not asexual bi's. but, i thought aromantic means not being interested in love??? i'm just confused and i need answers please????

I've been feeling lonely and isolated over being the only Aromantic person I know and not having anyone who actually understands what it's like to have no romantic attraction and be bombarded with constant romance all the time when you're romance repulsed. I know 2 alloromantic asexual people (1 is my straight ace brother) but no Aromantics.

I've looked in LGBT places/groups offline (I'm LGBT), meetups online which never come in my area, etc. Nothing. Atm meetups of more than 6 are prohibited over here due to covid.

Maybe there might be one or two of them at my new university's LGBT society.