Hello! Since nobody has created antisexual discord server, I decided to create my own , you can choose roles , discuss about your feelings and other stuff around antisexuality. Server is 13+ so if anyone is interested, here is the link: https://discord.gg/j9GSNPkwCK

I want to know which filters or apps or even settings, some of you may use to filter sexual content or unwanted content in general in pages like Youtube, Twitter, Google, etc.

It will help me so much, Thanks!

I was hanging out with some friends after a recital that happened. One of the friends was making jokes. I raised my hand because I didn't get them. She and some others would try to explain to me. One of my friends would text me what the jokes meant and I sort of understood afterwards. I didn't hate it, but I didn't like feeling confused. I didn't feel stupid, but rather, I felt like I wasn't able to add to the conversation. Just like with some other friends, when they make sex jokes, I have nothing to say and I end up not saying anything. I was confused a lot and didn't even know what most of the jokes meant. I don't think they're insensitive at all. They're nice people. I just hate when it happens. I'm already feeling like shit because of the deaths I experienced this month and last, but it just felt very weird having to hear jokes that I didn't get until explained, which again didn't help.

I don't know if it's just me, but I never liked it. A lot of the people online who use it tend to be the "sex-favorables" who talk about how they're "so ace" and whatnot, yet have sex and try to redefine the word. They feel Tumblr-like.

But back to my main point, I know some people here use the phrase "ace" because it's easier; however, I hate how it sounds. And it's worse when people are using random symbols like the ace of spades, cupcakes, cake Denmark, garlic bread, dragons, etc.

I don't like trying to make asexual sound cool because it was, at once, deemed weird; but the real thing that bothers me is that the ones who do it the most aren't asexual. "Everyone wants to have sex." "There's someone for everyone." These are statements I've been told to before. Now these same people who appropriate the label are trying to sound cool with it. A lot of the time I have seen "ace" used is in the other subreddits. It's not like "bi" or "pan" at all. Ace is an attempt to make it sound cool, so people appropriate it. Aro sounds like "arrow" and it sounds cool to them and people appropriate it.

Maybe I'm just acting like a grumpy old 27-year-old man. But what does everyone else think?

Why sexual people find some tyoes of relationship and kinks repulsive, such as age gap but if we find all of them repulsive they hate?

I need some advice on this, because I'm really struggling a lot with this, and I don't know how to handle it.

My whole life I've been sex repulsed, to the point where I get physically sick if I see or hear it for too long. From a teenager, up until now at 31 years of age. This would result in my family being hostile towards me or telling me to grow up. I sincerely am not putting on an act but when I see or hear it, I get so sick to my stomach that I have to plug my ears or leave the room if someone happens to be watching a sex scene.

I don't tell whoever is watching to turn it off, I just leave the room, but my family keeps telling me to 'grow up', 'get over yourself', 'You're an adult, start acting like one'. And I hate it, because I'm genuinely not trying to be this way.

(It also makes me so angry with them, because they'll describe their bathroom routine in graphic detail whenever I'm eating)

I even tried watching this YouTube video called "Asexuals watch 40 year old virgin" and I almost threw up on myself, I got so sick from hearing the film constantly discuss sex (I haven't seen the movie before)

I don't know what to do. My family is extremely agphobic, I can't leave and I'm so sick of being harassed/hounded for it, because almost every single time I'm entering a room, whatever show my family is watching will coincidentally have a sex scene with people going at it and I have to leave or cover my ears, only to get yelled at.

I know some aces can watch sex scenes and not get so physically sick like I do, some can hear it and not have problems, but is it normal to have such a physical repulsion to sex like I do?

My body literally gets so nauseous as if it'd eaten some bad food, then gone on a wild rollercoaster in the middle of summer. I cannot even describe how physically sick I get from just hearing that horrible noise or seeing it.

I'm fine with other people watching or doing it, but I literally cannot interact or perceive it in any form, and I've been that way my whole life and I have no idea if anyone else is like me in that sense either. I just... I'm so sick and tired of my body doing this, because I could be enjoying a show, see a sex scene pop up, almost vomit all over myself and have to quickly fast forward through it. It's a nightmare if that happens in cinema, because I have to plug my ears and shut my eyes through it, then I get shamed by anyone who has gone to the film with me.

I've genuinely tried to make myself watch porn to get over it, but I get so sick that I literally cannot do it. I'm at such a loss that I don't know what to do about it.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is this normal?

Purple represents the asexuals and apothisexuals while green is for the apothiromantics. In the middle, white, sexuality, is getting divided by black, repulsion. Also, im sorry if its repetitive that a community made for a sexuality is constantly just posting flag redesings instead of, well, talking about experiences and the sexuality in general. I agree, but a flag is a hanfull tool for a community and self-expression, and ours sucks rn, flag redesigns submissions make people think of stuff that represents their community, helping other people see how others feel that they are part of this community for reasons. Also, i dont have a C1 in english so sorry for that.

https://preview.redd.it/qu3yb5fr5zod1.png?width=1229&format=png&auto=webp&s=a48f94a6b1dd6aa7aa81d71d46a7d3bfc6041bd7

I don't like the big X that's in the middle of it and I like the color purple so I present to you the redesign flag that I made that's just a bunch of shades of purple.

I've been really thinking about the life I want to live. I'm open to having a partner of course, but I know with being s*x-repuled the odds are low and that's fine. If it happens, it happens and if it doesn't then it doesnt. But I refuse to compromise on something like that. However what I can't live without is friends and family. My support group. I know I'll always have my family but friends is a toughie.

I know as you get older friends come in and out of your lives. Your closest friends are very likely to grow apart once they marry and start a family. And it's not your fault, it's just that priority shifts. It doesn't mean they love you less. I won't take it to heart. But it hurts when you put in a lot of effort trying to maintain a relationship that you're not a high priority with anymore. I'm going through this right now and it's hard. And I'm thinking...is this always how it's going to be? I feel like if I'm not fighting my hardest to save these friendships, I'll end up alone. And when I start again with new friends it'll be this never ending cycle of losing them to their romantic relationships and being replaced back at the bottom of everyone's priorities. Idk. I feel like being heartbroken over and over again.

How are you guys with your friendships? It's very important to you fellow as Apothis too right? How's your friendships going once one enters a relationship/married? Are you able to maintain them as you guys get older? Any advice?

Hi people! So I (17), realized a few months ago that I was ace after realizing that I've never been s*xually attracted to anyone, even if I find/recognize others as physically attractive. I've been able to talk though some of my feelings with my queer partner, and a few other subrebbits ( r/questioning, r/AskAsexual ).

However, more recently I have discovered the term Apothisexuality, and am wondering if it fits me better than the normal "umbrella" term of Ace. As mentioned above, I'm pretty positive I'm never experienced s*xual attraction but am still able to recognize physical attraction. Something that I think makes me specifically Apothi- is that, especially as I've gotten older (and I'm almost an adult now), I've been uncomfortable even thinking about myself doing 'it'.

I get that's basically a big thing with being Apothisexual, which is why I think I could fit in, but I'm still uncertain because I feel like stuff has clicked kinda fast, like just a few months ago I was still entertaining just the idea of me being Ace. And when I discovered Apothi- and what it was defined as, I had a sort of sudden "click/lightbulb" moment, which also happened quickly so I'm unsure if I'm really Apothi- or if it's just because I've been doing a lot of research on s*x, even if I've already been able to accept that I'm Ace.

Another thing is that I'm feeling like I'm young and I'm not even sure what I'll do after High School, so would I be able to feel like I can completely stand by my own sexuality when I'm also be unsure of where I'll fit in the future? Especially if I'm even able to go to college and that whole experience, and super especially if my partner goes to another school farther from where we've both lived, so I feel like I 'lose' the only person I know I've share this with.

Advice or stories are welcome, especially if you also realized or had a "click" moment as a teen/young adult! Thanks in advance!

Please tell me there is one, I love the Sci Fi genre, but it seems like every author wants to include an unnecessary romantic or sexual scene.

I've been trying to figure out if there is a label for folx like me - the closest I've found is Apothisexual but that doesn't feel right either, as I feel the opposite of this - "For some apothisexuals, they are averse to the idea of engaging in sex themselves, but are fine with sexual activity that does not involve them." I'm demisexual, and have a low drive - but I'm not averse to sex involving me (with consent and feeling connection/drive) but the thought of anyone else having sex is absolutely dreadful to me. I'm polyamorous as well, which has made dealing with this rather difficult - it's not that I don't want my partners to not have other sexual partners - I just don't want to know details, or hear it. Same goes for housemates and platonic friends.

Is there a label for this? Are there others like me?

ive dated this girl for a couple months and she is one of the sweetest people ive ever known. so far everything has been fun and what i appreciate the most is how easy talking about everything is with her. she told me ahead of time that she was asexual and sex repulsed and she was nervous and anxious about intimate stuff that wasnt sexual too. through some simple asking hugging came pretty fast and has been great and through some thorough communication and moving slowly kissing also went down pretty smoothly and she says she enjoys both a lot.

i have never had sex in my life but i am not asexual. i told her from the beginning that i dont want to swear off sex for the rest of my life and that i dont know yet if it is something i need in my romantic relationship. i was talking to her about it a couple days ago about how the intimate stuff weve been trying was kinda the last things that werent sexual in nature and that if we move on that wont be the case anymore. she told me that she was fine with it and that maybe if we did some of the milder stuff id be able to live without the more intense stuff ie sexual intercourse. i told her that i dont think that would be the case at all. ive thought about it some more and it reallly is not that what i have going on with her right now isnt fun or intimate but im still quite young and i dont think id want a romantic relationship without sex.

i read a lot of people their experience online and they say its all about being willing to do so and loving someone enough to do that, but i dont think id be able to love anyone enough to have a romantic relationship without sex (i know about poly options and it will allways be something worth considering but it doesnt feel like it will satisfy me and she is kinda open to iit but she wouldnt be happy about it so thatd be its own can of worms). the thing is that i dont know if me not being able to do that is just me "needing it in my relationship cause thats just who i am" or something id have to get over that i just cant cause of emotional immaturity.

i talked to her again after that and i told her how i feel like i couldnt do it, but how i also see how having sex would make her uncomfortable and that i wouldnt want to make her do anything that would make her feel bad. i told her how i really liked her as a person and how i do want whats best for us even if that meant breaking it off. i asked her would you want a romantic relationship without sex and she said yes. (i dont know if i should have asked her the next thing but she did tell me multiple times already that she would be willing to try things) i asked her if she would be willing to carefully try and work towards sex. she said yes and asked me if i expected that answer. i told her i was not willing or daring to expect anything.

since then weve talked about it a couple times and from what she said to me she is still pretty chill with the idea. she told me she thinks its scary but that shes also a bit curious, and that the thought of doing that with me doesnt repulse her at all which she also finds weird and a little scary. ive told her im glad but that any door shes opened can be closed whenever she wants and that i would want it to be a fun process for her as well. ive told her i want to take it very slow and that there should allways be 4 eyes checking if shes still happy and not just two while were trying things. she told me she thinks im very sweet.

the problem im having is i feel like im asking a lot, because i am. and eventhough shes cool with it im kinda terrified that shes trying to change herself for me. she tells me shes never been more comfortable around anyone and i believe her, but i still overthink this situation a lot. from what ive read about sex repulsed people ive seen sex repulsion as something to be respected, and i kinda dont know where that leaves me here. i want to believe her and i feel like i should, but ive also read that trying to "get over sex repulsiion" can be traumatizing and i, ofcourse, really really REALLY dont want THAT.

im kinda writing this more as a "how should i deal with this mentally" but please do feel free to give your ten cents about the situation and what you think we should do. i want to be in a relationship with this girl but what i want even more than that is for her to be happy, and if i can have both thats awesome but i dont want to hurt her by chasing something that could never be.

thank you for your replies in advance

she knows im feeling this way btw, i just thought i wanted some outsider opinions from people more experienced in this stuff.

I have seen a few posts here about sexual content in books/TV shows and how frustrating it is for us when all of a sudden you get explicit content thrown at you when there was no warning or it wasn't needed in the plot. And I must admit that I am fed up with that too. 

So here is my question: how would you feel about creating a recurrent thread where we could share some recommendations about content that is apothisexual-friendly?

Whether it's books (including fanfiction or original content that are publicly available), TV shows, movies, even music (as the market seems to be saturated with songs with explicit or implicit content within the lyrics), podcasts, or maybe other content that I forgot to include. Or if you have for example a book that you really love, but still has one scene of explicit content then you can share your recommendation while specifying when that scene is so we can skip it.

I'm genuinely interested in the community's opinion about this if you'd be willing to participate to the thread and the mods on whether they think it can be a good idea and if it can be done or not.

Edit : thank you so much to u/erikluminary for making the idea a reality! Here is the link to the megathread in case you missed it : Apothisexual-friendly Media Megathread

I'm not into sex AT ALL!! I'm not into hugging, cuddling, kissing, making out, going on dates, flirting nor anything romantic. I'm not into holding hands. And I'm not interested a boyfriend nor I want to get married either. I think those things are disgusting and weird. And it freaks me out. If a had a crush and/or fell in love with me, I'll never talk to him again.

Everyone but me is sex crazy. I'm not interested in sex. I'm interested in things like math, science and etc.

I ask because i notice a trend and im wondering if anyone else is seeing it- Allosexuals being less romantic and asexuals being more romantic. I myself am alloromantic apothisexual and im really fucking sick of this emotionless loveless passionless allosexual world.

so i cant find this any where and sorry to make pll unconfy but do apothisexuals get aroused or is there something close to arousl thats just disconfort

Hi so I'm new here and I'm not really sure if I totally fit the label.

I want to start by saying that I am still a minor so that may be a part of it.

I am s-x repulsed and that's the reason why I joined this subreddit in the first place. I'm just not sure because I don't want to see anything s-xual involving me or anyone really but if I was warned that it was going to happen beforehand I don't really ,ind it much, as long as I don't see it. Like if I'm reading and someone warns me there's going to be a s-x scene I won't mind it much. I will definitely skip it though. And dirty jokes and s-x innuendos are fine.

So I'm just kinda questioning if you can be apothisexual but still be kind of indifferent to sex in jokes and literature (but trying to avoid it in literature). S-xual art and porn are definitely a huge no though

I believe I might have an addiction and that it may have started since as a child I found myself with sexual content on the Internet and TV, I was a child without supervision and unfortunately very curious, after seeing on TV as a mistake that my father made, when seeing it I felt instant repulsion to it. But, when growing up as a teenager in my school a guy in my class kept showing me porn in his cellphone. I was someone who always found romance and sexual relationships repulsive, but the constant exposure made me felt weird with myself bc I felt curious of why would people consume that and in the end I started consuming that type of content and felt weird for seeing it.

It feels like I'm in a circle, like I want to stop but I can't stop watching it, it makes me feel anxious and dirty for even watching it, and the worst thing is that I always fall asleep when watching it bc it doesn't make me feel anything sexual for anyone or even the people or characters I'm watching.

I'm asking for help and advice on how can I stop it, I'm someone who is autistic, adhd and I think I will talk to my psicologist if my situation is one of adicction bc I think it is.

Me and my GF had been together for 3 years we had planned our future together and were saving money to rent a place together. Last night we got into a huge argument about our wants and needs I am a apothisexual ace lesbian and she is a gray ace gray aro lesbian I feel very high romantic attraction and she feels almost none we both feel very high aesthetic attraction towards each other I was fine with only some times having a romantic partner but most of the time having a aesthetic partner at times it could be a bit hard to explain to others but we were happy and in love and that’s all that matters or at least that’s what I thought I feel no sexual attraction and am very sex repulsed my GF who I thought was fine with that got mad at me for not wanting sex I told her that I wasn’t going to have sex if I didn’t want to and she had no right to try to make me I never forced her to go on dates or do other romantic stuff knowing that she was gray ace and would wait for her to tell me she wanted to and told her that it’s a two way street she got mad and said that if I really loved her that I would show her by doing it with her I replied by telling her that if she wanted we could have a open relationship instead some to have sex with her and some to be romantic with for me she got even more mad saying how dare I compare her lack of romantic attraction to my lack of wanting to have sex and that my let’s openly cheat on each other idea was stupid at this point both of us are crying and I say fine let’s think of a different situation we went back and forth for the rest of the night and at the end realized that we just wanted different things she got a Uber and went home. I’ve been though break ups before but I wasn’t out as ace yet I didn’t even know what asexual was yet and I’ve only been in unhealthy relationships before this was the first time I was a equal to my partner and the first time I was in love and now I lost my girlfriend partner and best friend. Maybe I overreacted and should have had sex with her then I would have been good enough for her. I’m really scared I want to have a relationship I want to have romance and become each other’s wife with someone I want to be in a none platonic relationship but what if I never find a girlfriend who’s fine with no sex or who’s open to getting it from elsewhere?! I don’t want to be alone again. I really don’t know what to do.

After discovering upon it not long ago and seeing how it was full of meme spam by one user and how you couldn't even post on it, I decided to try and mod the server and succeeded in getting mod status.

If you never came across that subreddit, you don't need to be apothiromantic to post there. Same as here, you can be aromantic and not romance repulsed, romance repulsed alloromantic, apothisexual, a curious person, etc. it's the same as this one but for apothiromantic instead.

Have fun!

There should be a subreddit where asexuals can ask allosexuals questions. You know, like how there are subreddits to ask about various religions or various nationalities etc.

I have so many questions for allosexuals, but if I asked them in the regular NSFW subreddits, most of them would think that I'm trolling because very few people have knowledge about repulsed asexuals / apothisexuals.

If there was such a subreddit, to facilitate understanding about how allosexuals perceive the world, would you use it?

Are you guys part of the LGBTQ+ community and looking to join a Discord a server that doesn’t require you to reach level 999 before you’re able to post a single gif? We humbly invite you to come and join us at: https://discord.gg/9sXHM77ymT 🌈✨

We are a brand new server, built by LGBTQ+ people for LGBTQ+ looking to create a fun, not-so-corrupt place for everyone to come and enjoy themselves!

warnings for mention of m————ion, nsfw, innuendos and p—n

greetings! i’m kia [not the car brand] and i’m new to this subreddit (though not new to reddit, had an account before this one) so apologies if i get anything wrong!

so i joined because i feel like i identify with apothisexuality, but am not sure if i actually fit the criteria for this label, so i shall share:

i hate the idea of doing anything sexually that involves myself. i hate the fact that p—n exists. when i accidentally stumble into anything straight up sexual, i feel sick inside and immediately freeze up, then my brain needs to be fully cleansed because i’m afraid it will bring back the thing later.

as an artist, i hate nsfw art and i don’t go on x anymore because it’s filled with unfiltered nsfw to the point i froze up again while looking through the feed

i’m exposed to people who make dirty jokes on a regular basis. i usually don’t mind discussing innuendos (and as someone who studies biology and literature, i’m also exposed to borderline sexual innuendos and the reproductive system a lot), but any mention of sexual activities or even things like “smd” will cause me to freeze up again.

however, someone recommended m————ion to me and upon hearing it, i faked accepting the idea. but in reality, i was scared to the point that i developed habits that looked meaningless externally, but served as a way to ward off the dirty thoughts internally.

i also hate the idea of sexual attraction. dunno but it feels wrong to look at someone and want to do sexual stuff with them, it just feels selfish and objectifying. aesthetic attraction feels much safer for me. oh yeah, and if anyone directly shares their sexual attraction with me? no thank you!

tl;dr - i hate doing sexual stuff involving myself and i hate anything graphically or directly s-xual. but i don’t mind any innuendos, so i don’t feel like i fully fit with the label of apothisexual. if anything, i’m between sex-averse and sex-repulsed

also the flag doesn’t sit right with me, i’m sorry