I've identified as aegoromantic for the last 8 months (link to my first post) because I don't feel romantic attraction but I love the idea of love and I love hearing about and obsessing over my friends relationships and stuff and then also romantic couples in tv shows are like so cute I love itttt.

But now I'm thinking it's not always like that? Like sometimes I see 2 people being romantic, or especially kissing, and I just think it's gross or cringy and I don't wanna look.

Is aegoromanticflux or aegoflux a thing? Cuz I don't think I'm aroflux because I never feel romantic attraction ever but like how I feel about romance still changes.

I've googled aegoflux but I can't find anything

Idk if its not a thing I'mma definitely make a flag for it because I think it would be what describes me best.

I'm 100% I'm Aegosexual and I think I'm might be Aego Aroace 'cause I feel the same about love and sex equally (but it's harder to think of myself as an aromantic 'cause I love love and I'm a hopeless romantic) and I'm thinking if romantic and sexual orientation are the same just swapping sex and love then the thing that made me realize I'm Aegosexual should work for Aegoromantic

I have some OCs that are meant to be me (kinda like a self insert) and most of those OCs have a partner and I'm fine thinking of them being in a relationship but when I think of it in real life, like instead of the OC and their partner is me and someone else (that it's like a blank/generic character) kinda don't like it :v

I am just so confused since I do tend to fluctuate from full on Aro then to Aegoro then to Aro but romance neutral. I am just so confused as if I am still considered Aegoro or if I'm something else because I have been exploring where I am on the Arospec (Acespec wise ik I am full on Ace anyway,) cause I still did have more fictional crushes than irl ones and find myself feeling more 'eh they look good but wouldn't date them if they were real though' nowadays. (Keep in mind that I am kinda new to the concept since I have started exploring mini labels since I have identified as just AroAce for a while now)

Hello! This is my first post here, I just wanted to share how cool it is to have found this label.

I've identified as aroace for a couple years now, but more recently I have been feeling more interested in romance and stuff. I used to be 'meh' about romantic relationships between fictional characters, but more recently I love them! At one point, I even got a small "crush" on a fictional character.

I started questioning myself again, that maybe I was no longer aromantic, or maybe I've just been repressing my feelings or something. But after thinking and researching and looking for people with similar experiences, I've realized that pretty much all of my experiences regarding this fit the label of aegoromantic perfectly!

I never really imagine "me" in romantic scenarios. It always ends up third person, or the people in the situation kinda become faceless, not really specific people. In my head, it's all cute. But in real life, I get repulsed and uncomfortable when someone confesses to me, no matter who it is.

So yeah, just wanted to share that I've found a more specific and fitting label, glad to have found this subreddit!

It's a bit.

Let's say that sometimes I imagine myself in relationships with other people who I find aesthetically pleasing, then after a while I forget about it. Let's say it's cute? I think I want it but at the same time I'm not so sure.

I do not love love

I love love as a tale

I love love as something for other people

But I do not love love.

Love feels wrong

Love feels like water to a fire

Love feels like a wonderful story

Love feels like something I don't want to have

Love feels like something I can't have.

But love feels good

Love between friends

Love between family

Love for a hobby

Love for a job

Love for myself.

I do love love

I love the people I meet

I love those I don't

I love not the love between partners

But love between humans.

Most people have no clue what this is and I’m tired of coming up with excuses for why I’m still single. On the other hand, if I just try to generically say I’m aro/ace but then start gushing about fictional character romances, they’ll think I’m lying. What do I do 😂?

Edit: forgot to mention that I already came out to them as bisexual because I figured since I like mlm and wlw I must be bisexual. I didn’t know what aegoromantic/aegosexual was at the time. So how do I explain that?

Explanation: I’m Aegoromantic and I know that, I’m sure of that. But, I have a girlfriend, in the start, I didn’t wanted to ruin our friendship by not liking her back so I said yes when she asked me out, even if didn’t really “loved” her in that way. And then, time passes and I keep dating her, we’re close, we still act like besties even if sometimes, she talks about sex and that make me feel uncomfortable since I’m Aegosexual too. It’s been almost a year since we’ve been dating and I feel like I “love” her in a stronger way now, I still don’t know if it’s the “love” she’s seeking for but when I talk with her, I have this warm feeling that I didn’t have before. That brought us back to the point, is it possible to be Demi-Aegoromantic?

Please help me I’m lost! 🥲

Fanfictions have always been my life source. I loveee reading hours of fanfics about my fav ships and they make me feel so happy and giddy!

This week, I have been pretty much addicted to a new ship and have been reading like 40k words worth of fanfiction daily. I remember going to myself, Ugh, I wish I was married to one of them just to see every moment of them loving each other.

I was on the r/aaaaaaacccccccce sub yesterday, looking up allll those tags in the user flairs, and discovered that there's a romantic counterpart for aegosexuals - aegoromantics.

I've labelled myself as aegosexual for quite a while, but I really am mostly indifferent to sex in general. I thought I was just panromantic, but now I am starting to realise maybe I don't care about being in a romantic relationship myself. The thought of being involved in romance makes me cringe, and it feels like I'm putting myself in a box. But seeing and reading about other people in love? I love it soo much. Humans can be so cute!

I mean, there's def a chance I will discover more about myself and move to a different tag, but for now I def feel like I'm aegoromantic :)

Hi! So I've landed on this page because every once and a while I've been questioning on if I'm aro or on the aro spectrum.

For the past 3 years I've identified as lesbian, and originally identified as bi. I dated one girl in high school (I'm in my 3rd year of college now) but we broke up because she fell in love way faster and harder than I did, and at this point I have no idea if I was actually ever in love with her - although, I really wanted to be; she was my best friend.

I don't know if any of my crushes have ever been real crushes, or just infatuations? I thought I had a crush on this guy in high school (pior to dating my bff) but when he asked me out on a date, all feelings I had disappeared. I then had a crush on another girl in my grade at the same time I had a crush on the guy, but nothing ever happened with that (she's straight and I didn't tell her).

I tried going on dates my freshman and sophomore year of college (using dating apps), but none of them really worked out because I never developed true feelings (but neither did my dates) so I have since kind of given up the whole dating app idea and have adopted the mindset of "it'll happen when it happens"; although I want it to happen so bad.

I love love songs and movies with love stories and books about love. I want to one day be able to say "my wife" or "my husband" or "my spouse" because I think I'd really enjoy being married - as long as I find someone I'd actually want to be married to. I'm jealous of my serial-dating friends who can so easily develop feelings for someone because I've never been able to do that.

I am asexual, so that might play a role in that. However, the one thing that is confusing me is that sex is something that I may have thoughts about every once in a while, but it's not actually something I'd want to have. It's not important to me at all. However, I want to feel what it's like to be in love.

I know being single and being on the aromantic spectrum is ok and many people identify with labels somewhere on it - but it's all I've ever been thinking about recently (falling in love, that is). And maybe that's because I'm constantly surrounded by love - my best friends are all in relationships, most of my coworkers, all of the adults in my life that I look up to. I want to be in love so bad. I know it doesn't mean that I am, but it makes me feel broken somehow if I can't fall in love.

Anyways, I don't know if this makes any sense.

Hi there - posting this on a throwaway to protect my identity.

At this point, I don't know if it's even an aegoromantic thing or not. If my experiences fit under a different label or would be considered alloromantic, let me know. (They probably cross over into cupioromanticism a bit.) But yeah... I'm scared and frustrated.

I like this girl - or at least, I think I do. I can imagine basically spending the rest of our lives together, having deep conversations, having very close contact, kissing, hugging, etc. Thoughts of me and her basically what I indulge myself in when going to bed every night at this point. However, whenever I do see her in real life, it's not only clear from her body language and her emotions that the feeling isn't mutual but... my body doesn't feel much either (and if I did have sexual or romantic attraction, AFAIK I should be feeling something). I'm fine with talking with her and keeping my boundaries with her in a friendship sort of manner.

The thought has crossed my mind multiple times to maybe at least let her know about this - however, she knows I'm aromantic already (I previously expressed that I don't experience romantic attraction at all, which turns out is not fully the case), and I present myself as deeply set into my identity, so I'm not sure she'd even take it well even if it is just a label. I would be so happy if I could be with her, she has the perfect personality and the maturity to back it up - but my instincts don't seem to care. And I hate it. It's like I'm experiencing perpetual heartbreak, knowing that I'll always have feelings for her but never the ability to express them or turn those feelings into a functional relationship.

Idk, am I the only person who has felt this way? I have also just never been in any sort of relationship before, so what I'm feeling may be totally normal. And yes, I do know that QPRs exist - I just have no idea if she'd be open to one at all and at this point I don't feel like I'm ready to ask.

For the people who are aroace are you both aegoromantic and aegosexual? I’m just interested if you’re more likely to have the same micro labels with your romantic and sexual orientation. (I’m aegosexual but not sure if aegoromantic too)

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I have started to try being exclusive sexually with an alloromantic guy and he started becoming a bit more emotionally invested in me. He's a nice guy, really finds me attractive. I wasn't specifically looking for anything more than regular FB/fwb but was open to the opportunity. My last "QPR" that ended last September went haywire in many places which I won't go into. As far as I understand he's not had a relationship since breaking up with his ex girlfriend.

I only really enjoy romance when it's fictional, such as shipping but also books about romance. For example, I've been reading Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin and I'd say that's pretty romantic (about an American guy who meets an Italian guy in Paris and they fall in love, both of them are gay). I also loved Song of Achilles and others. I do get repulsed by fiction as well, especially if it's not well written.

In real life I just feel repulsed by any romance bar some romantic coded things such as cuddling, kissing and hanging out with someone like eating dinner. It usually puts me off or disinterests me. My response to "Oh I'll do anything for you" would be "...we just met." I just find it pointless when there's Fwb/FB, swinging, qprs, friends, etc.

I just found out that ever since I was a child, I have liked romantic content but have not pursued it. I like to show romance in a non-romantic way to my friends and family. I feel comforted by romantic sitcoms and songs. Sometimes when I hear romantic songs, I imagine myself being romantic with my close friends or with certain favorite artists, and I feel comforted by certain artists while they are singing songs.

Warning : very long; adult talk including porn; masturbation and kinks

Hi guys! I just joined and for first 24 hours about figuring out my sexuality felt great and now I have idk imposter syndrome about whether I’m Aegoromantic or not.

I’m 22 I don’t have any dating experience. Part of it is because I was an ugly fat teen. But am in college now and just can’t bring myself to date.

Originally I thought I’m a people pleaser and I just don’t have the sorta energy I would need in a romantic relationship.

Had a lot of deep long crushes till I was 16- but I didn’t like the boys as it is but more of the idea of them I wanted to play out like the ones we see in books and movies. After I turned 16, I couldn’t feel myself to like any boy at all. Partly it was their personalities (or someone would call them my standards) but also I just didn’t want anything to do with them? I still had crushes on book characters, anime, and so on.. but never on a real man after that.

All the while in my teens I was obsessed with porn, hentai and everything that it ensues but I never felt like I needed another person to keep enjoying it.

Still am - also realised when I was 18 I’m okay with getting off to any gender as long as we share same kinks and all. Thought I was pansexual for a while.

But I have queer friends and they seem to be dating so much as we are in college while I don’t really feel like it at all? At first I said and thought I wanted to get over my family trauma and reduce my avoidant attachment before i get in a relationship but now I think apart from sometimes imagining wanting to have a partner for doing the nasty I don’t really want anything. And I’m happy that way. It’s not that I’m closed off to romance, it’s just the whole business of romance doesn’t seem to be for me? It’s so much work and I don’t really need what people get out of it?? Idk man

I loved reading romance and still enjoy watching lots of romance and stuff like that, and I feel attraction too, still have body issues but I think even I’m a ideally perfect body - I don’t feel ready for copulation with another person. Don’t want dates or marry someone (my parents love each other but I don’t like the idea of marriage and having to deal with one person and their family, especially in a country like mine which can sometimes treat women very traditionally patriarchal settings).

I guess mostly I’m worried whether this is my sexuality or is this me having unresolved trauma or something from seeing relationships and realising how much they take from u. Seems draining to me.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my sexuality based on my life, if you have any pointers I can check off to see if I belong 😭

P.s. love garlic bread

I’ve been thinking about relationships lately because my friends seem to all want one. But I don’t. I like the thought of it, but actually being in one doesn’t sound like it’s right for me. I love reading fanfics like (fav character x reader) fanfics a lot and get giddy when I watch romance anime’s. But again, I’m not interested in dating or being in a relationship myself. I prioritize my platonic relationships more than anything.

The last time I dated someone was in 7th grade. I didn’t even like the boy. My thought process was “everyone is in a relationship, I need to be in a relationship.” After that relationship ended, I never dated anyone again. And I’ve never had the urge to date anyone again. Reflecting on everything I know now, I think it was due to social pressure.

And now thinking back on my crushes, I don’t think I actually liked them. I had my heart race and stuff but I think it’s was just because I found them attractive physically. I honestly didn’t know a thing about them, we didn’t have the same classes, the same friend groups, etc. I just think I liked an idea of them I made in my head.

I love thinking about fictional scenarios with my fav characters most of the time but I think in the past, I made fictional scenarios with those “crushes” at the time. But still, I never really thought of dating them. Dating them seemed to put me off and I preferred my fantasies.

A part of me also wonders if I’m not feeling romantic/sextual attraction because I have low self esteem. The thought of someone kissing me or touching me sexually is repulsive and I genuinely can’t see myself doing anything like that with anyone in real life. But in my head I can make all sorts of fantasies with fictional characters I like.

Also in my faction scenarios, it’s not really me, if that makes sense. It’s like a self-insert kinda thing…

I’m not sure. Let me know what you guys think :D

Hi. Ig the title says it already, but here is my question. It's known that aromatic people don't get the butterflies in the stomach feeling for anyone (at least, that's what I read multiple times, but aegoromantic is a little different sooo....) .I feel like I get it sometimes, but only when a fictional couple is kissing( not every time but sometimes). My question is, do yall experience that too, or is that just me?

Sorry for any weird use of words or something, my english is not the best. I hope u get what I mean and thanks for anyone who answers.

Hm. I've been thinking lately about myself being with someone I don't really know. (but tbh it also happens with people that I know sometimes) Like, I think I fantasize about romantic scenarios between me and that person, but tbh? I don't think I would desire for that to happen. I think I might be romance ambivalent, because sometimes I'm like "ew romance" and sometimes I just imagine it and well, yeah.

(Btw if I made grammar or any other mistakes, then sorry, I'm not native haha)

Hey y’all. I genuinely can’t tell what I am like if I’m Aegoromantic or Cupioromantic. I identify as aromantic but not asexual but i really like romantic stories and tv shows and whenever i imagine myself doing anything it doesn’t even have to to necessarily be romantic I see myself looking down at my body. So third person perspective. I’m romance ambelivnant (meaning I can be romance positive sometimes as I’ve had one short relationship in the past) and sometimes averse.

I think what’s confusing me is if Cupioromantic can just desire queer platonic relationships or if it’s only romantic relationships because if it’s only romantic relationships then no that’s not for me.

But do I sound Aegoromantic or possibly something else?