/r/abortion

Photograph via snooOG

If you're pregnant and don't want to be, we can help you get an abortion. This is a pro-abortion, stigma-free space to ask questions, get information, and share your experiences.

Please read the pinned post and check out our wiki and sidebar before posting. We offer support and advice to people who are seeking or have had an abortion.

Rule 1: Support and respect

  • This is a pro-abortion space.
  • This is a space to seek support and resources and to share abortion stories.
  • Do not tell people what to do or how to feel. When sharing stories or advice, speak only from your own perspective and experience ("When I had my abortion, I felt... ", "If I were you, I would...").
  • Suggestions of adoption will result in a ban.

Rule 2: Accuracy and safety

  • This is a space to share accurate and safe information. Misinformation will be removed. Repeat violations will result in a ban.
  • Only links to verified, reliable, safe resources are permitted.
  • Abortion laws and practices vary widely. Do not assume that your own experiences are universal.
  • Posting home remedies for inducing an abortion will result in a ban.
  • No DMs

Rule 3: No debating, discussing politics, or sharing news articles

  • This is NOT a space for abortion debate.

Rule 4: This is not a marketplace or business review site.

  • No advertising or posting reviews/complaints about specific businesses (where the only intent of the post is a review). Posts and comments that we suspect are advertisements will be removed.
  • No selling, sharing, providing a mailing address, or forwarding of pills to another person.
  • No fundraising.

Rule 5: No recruitment from journalists or researchers

  • No journalists.
  • Researchers with IRB-approved studies should contact the moderators to request permission to post. Posting study recruitments, surveys or interview requests without prior approval will result in a ban.

/r/abortion

58,980 Subscribers

1

MA Pills no update on tracking

Philippines

How long does it take for the pill to reach PH once the package is handed over to airport facility (AEAUH to PHMNL)?

Also, currently at 6 weeks, almost 7, I’m expecting the pill to arrive when I’m at the 8th week at least. May I ask what pill to drink to battle nausea? I am still an undergrad student and I cannot focus on my studies due to intense nausea. Furthermore, is it only optional to have ultrasound done before MA? or is it mandatory? Thanks!

2 Comments
2024/11/01
07:29 UTC

1

Surgery scheduled for next Friday = 6 weeks & 2 days. Feeling so anxious and feeling lied to...

Hi,

First of all, I so appreciate this community. Reading the stories makes me feel less alone.

My situation - I'm very lucky to be in a long-term loving relationship with a kind, supportive, amazing partner. We just don't want kids. We are soooooooooooooo certain of this.

I'm shocked that I got pregnant... 33 and we've always used condoms, never unprotected. Our incident = the condom got stuck inside me, we didn't realise till after. Got the morning after pill the next day (postella-1) but I was really nervous because I knew it was around my ovulation timeframe...

Tested positive when I was meant to get my next period.

Calculating from the first day of the last period, that made me 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I immediately scheduled an appointment with my GP, but couldn't get in till the following week. Stressful weekend, waiting for the time to pass.

I called ahead at my clinic to explain the situation. My GP had "Family planning" in her title so I figured it was a good place to start. My partner came with me for the appointment.

I mostly just wanted to discuss medical vs surgical options & future protection (no / low hormonal options)

The first thing my GP said was "I need to run you through your options" and then she was like "Even if you didn't want to have the baby, you could consider adoption, y'know there's so many couples struggling to have children" pause "but of course it's your choice and we live in a country where it's legal" ...I managed to hold it together and said very sternly "There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I want to terminate this immediately."

She seemed a bit flustered (but maybe that's me projecting...) I did notice (for the first time) that she had a Christian cross on her bracelet, so IDK, maybe she had a bias here... She was very professional though and gave me a referral for blood tests and an ultrasound but said she didn't have the registration to prescribe the pills...

I left feeling like I had just wasted more time... I then called an abortion clinic and got a telehealth appointment (wish I had just STARTED there) They were amazing... But told me it wasn't worth getting an ultrasound until 6 WEEKS. Which makes me FEEL REALLY LIED TO because all the information out there is like "This is successful if you take it in weeks FIVE to seven"

Anyway. Ugh. I'm now having to wait a week... And I've decided to go the surgical route because I want the certainty that it's done.

I'm feeling really anxious in this waiting period. I feel anxious about it being an ectopic pregnancy because I've heard stories of taking the morning after pill around ovulation and maybe it's ectopic... I don't have any symptoms besides bigger boobs... I just feel anxious in general and I feel really annoyed by people telling me "whatever choice you make" because there is only ONE choice in my mind, which is termination.

I want this out of me now. I feel repulsed being in my body right now. And having to wait a week is really stressful.

My partner has been great and I'm so appreciative that I have his support... I've told a few close friends as well but I just feel really anxious and feel like omg, what if this doesn't work or somehow they FORCE me into keeping it idk. I live in Australia, it's totally legal here, I just thought it would be less... Judgemental... That comment my GP made really got under my skin, I feel upset by this whole thing...

Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with the wait... And also low hormone or no hormone BC so I NEVER have to go through this again (I'm thinking Kyleena IUD? But scared of hair loss side effects and for the Copper IUD I'm scared of the Thyroid interaction 😭😭😭)

1 Comment
2024/11/01
05:06 UTC

1

My experience so far with AidAcess and anxiety leading up to the process…. advice, help, anything would be helpful

I am 19 years old currently living in new york. I applied to Aid Acess for a discrete option to receive the MA pills and they responded swiftly. I first found out i was pregnant today, through two positive pregnancy tests. The first day of my last period is september 30th which makes me 4 weeks and 3-4 days right now. I knew i couldn’t have a baby right now due to finical situations and me being in my 3 year of college it just doesn’t seem like the right time with no stable job or apartment with my boyfriend. I had a suspicion due to the fact that today currently marks 3 days late on my period and my period is NEVER late, it is so accurate to the T. When i saw the positive i instantly applied for aid across the time stamps are how fast I was able to receive the confirmation of the product will be shipped:

First email, 11:29 AM : Request of ID and confirmation of address to which it will be sent.

Second email, 11:30 AM: my response with proof of identification

Third email, 11:35 AM: The link to send the money

Fourth email, 11:40 AM: Proof of payment ($150)

Fifth email, 11:51 AM: confirmation my package will be shipped soon

Sixth email, 12:13 PM: explanation of how to do the medical abortion. 

Seventh email, 12:18 PM: Tracking number not included but a response that my items are processed and I will receive another email form honey bee about updates

Eighth email, 5:15 PM: Order has been shipped and my tracking number

I have read the instructions and wanted some advice on how to deal with anxiety among other stuff. It’s really making me anxious that i have this fear that the pills will not work. The packing is suppose to arrive on SATURDAY NOV 2nd. and i plan to take them that tuesday because i don’t have classes on wednesday. so the first pill will be tuesday around 8 AM and the 4 pills after will be on Wednesday at 8AM the following day exactly 24 hrs for 30 mins under the tongue. I plan to have my heating pad ready, overnight pads and 800mg of tylenol every 3-4 hours, as well as my partner to help me through this and some comfort food which would be thai. I am just sooo so anxious it won’t work like how do i ensure completion and trying no to psych myself out i’ve never been through anything like this. Does my plan sound good? anything i should change?

8 Comments
2024/11/01
05:38 UTC

1

From philippines planning to order on wow any advice?

Hi i am from phil almost 12weeks and i am planning to order on wow how can i donate them using bank transfer?

2 Comments
2024/11/01
05:29 UTC

0

Feeling so heartbroken and guilty?

Hi all. I’m 29 years old and I just took the first pill. (mifepristone) I feel extremely guilty and upset but my partner and I both knew this was the right choice to do. I was close to 5 weeks if I wasn’t already and I’ve just been so emotional. We have two boys aged 2 and 4 already and it didn’t hit me until after we got home from trick or treating that it was time to start the process. I know he feels extremely guilty for the situation especially since we had a miscarriage 3 years ago and I was 11-12 weeks. We saw the “body” pass in the toilet (sorry tmi) and I just went ballistic. My heart hurts and I feel like a terrible human being because I can’t help but think of the “what ifs” It’s been almost two hours since I took the first pill and already all the symptoms of pregnancy I had (sore and leaking boobs, nausea, headaches, tiredness, etc) are gone and it’s terrifying me. What’s the process because I know I have to take the next set of pills tomorrow night. I’m catching myself asking for forgiveness and I’m scared of the pain I’ll go through because the miscarriage cramps felt like I was giving birth all over again. Does this get better over time? Will the pain be as intense since I’m not that far along? We do want to have one more child in the next 3-4 years but will this affect me? I don’t feel like myself and that’s so heartbreaking. I can’t stop feeling so emotional about this.

4 Comments
2024/11/01
05:16 UTC

0

Question about why we take step 1

Why do we wait for Step 2? I took Step 1 this morning and tbh I’m just keen to get it over with before work Sunday and personal reasons. Can I just take the Step 2 now? Would it ruin the chance of effectiveness? I understand step 1 is so the pregnancy does not progress but is it necessary?

Probably is a good reason, probably why there is 2 steps. so sorry if I sound dumb 😅

2 Comments
2024/11/01
05:02 UTC

1

Post-MA question - 1 week in

I had my MA last Friday, and I’m feeling a lot better compared to when I was pregnant. I can eat properly again, and the nausea and smell sensitivity are gone. My bleeding is normal and not heavy, but I’m concerned about an unusual odor with the blood. Is this something to worry about, or is it normal?

I’m hesitant to seek medical help since abortion is illegal in my country, and I’m feeling scared about going to a health facility. My partner and I are also struggling financially. Any advice on how to approach this with a doctor, if necessary, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

1 Comment
2024/11/01
03:29 UTC

0

My 1st Abortion October Story </3

I Just Had A Medical Abortion To Save My Life.

I Found Out I Was Pregnant October 18th With 2 Positive Pregnancy Tests In The Morning And At Night. I Found Out I Was 6 Weeks And 5 Days October 19th By UltraSound And Blood Work To Confirm It At The Emergency Room, Because I Kept Throwing Up And Not Wanting To Eat Or Do AnyThing And Told My BoyFriend Who Had Previously Deployed October 13th. I Saw The UltraSound And My Heart Broke In Two. My Lab Results Read High White Blood Cell Count.. I Suffer With An Eating Disorder For 2 Years Of Not Being Able To Eat Solid Foods Though I Am Getting Slowly Better Day By Day With My Food Exposures. We Had A Long Conversation About It. I Had Him Order The Pills Online From Another State.

I Passed EveryThing October 26th And October 27th. I Felt Chills 103 Fever, Felt So Alone, Pain, Passing Tissue And EveryThing..It Feel Traumatized Going Through This Alone. I Had Lab Work Done October 30th. My Results Were Read As Failed Significantly(Meaning It Is Done And I Am Not Pregnant AnyMore), The Nurse Practicioner And Lab Worker Said They Express My Deepest Condolences. I Screamed So Loud In My Car And Wanted To Run In Traffic To "Kermit", Because Of The Constant Guilt I Carried With Me. ALL Of The Emotions Of Losing This Potential Baby, I Was Losing Myself And I Still Feel Alone. The Sadness Is Deep In My Heart Locked Away. I Am Still Doing Therapy Weekly And Taking My Lexapro As Usual EveryDay. No One Tells You The Grief You Feel.

I Am Still Experiencing Grief, Random Crying Spells, And The Guilt Is Eating Me Alive. Please Say I Am Not The ONLY ONE Who Experiences This. It Would Be Nice To Have A Support System For This As My BoyFriend Is The ONLY Person I Have. </3

2 Comments
2024/11/01
02:36 UTC

0

Can I take Midol after taking the pill for abortion? I couldn’t get to pharmacy to get the pain meds prescribed to me.

J

2 Comments
2024/11/01
02:17 UTC

2

MA Pills Inquiry on Days delivery

Hello! Im 22 from the PH. I would like to ask those giries who bough MA Pills from WHW or WOW, How many days or weeks did it took for the pills to arrive??

Thank you!

3 Comments
2024/11/01
02:17 UTC

0

Did I pass the fetus 2 times separately?

The first day I took miso, (I had to take the second dose), but I had really baddd cramping and it stopped after I passed a big clot. I assumed it was the fetus. Now today, 4-5 days later, I had the same excruciating cramps and passed another big-ish clot and the pain immediately went away. I’m kinda confused since I thought I already passed the baby. Thoughts?

2 Comments
2024/11/01
01:45 UTC

0

post abortion psychosis?w

I had an abortion at 7 weeks gestation at the end of July. It was a very lonely process for me as I grew up in a super conservative home that was pro life to its core. I chose to do a MA. Started the process around 10pm. I slept through most of it until about 3am and woke up with chills, nausea, and severe cramping. I went to the bathroom and knew for certain the tissue had passed. I experienced symptoms of depression for a few weeks afterwards, along with pretty severe anxiety and mood swings. One of the weirdest symptoms I experienced post-abortion was auditory hallucinations. I woke up twice in the two weeks post-abortion hearing moaning sounds in the middle of the night. Both times I woke up but my body did not move at all and I heard the sounds for about 3-5 seconds. My heart rate would go up, and I would feel intense anxiety, but my body would not move for about a minute. I would eventually move and try to calm myself down, going back to sleep after about an hour.

I’m curious to know if anyone else has experienced any type of auditory hallucinations post-abortion. It’s months later and those experiences are still stuck in my mind. Just looking for some validation and to know I’m not the only one who experienced something like this.

3 Comments
2024/11/01
01:44 UTC

1

Is this normal, I could use some advice.

So, i am 5 weeks and 1 day, I have been spotting off and on for about a week and half it was usually brown in color, but today it was light red only when I wiped, now I'm not bleeding. I have a history of ectopic pregnancy. Should I go to the ER to see if somethings wrong or is spotting usually normal? I ordered pills from abuzz and they'll be here tomorrow, but I don't want to take until I know if this spotting and cramping is normal?

5 Comments
2024/11/01
01:10 UTC

0

Can I drink after miso?

I took my misoprotol over 24 hours ago now, it’s halloween, is it safe to drink? I drank after my last MA and was pretty fine after so not sure.

2 Comments
2024/11/01
01:02 UTC

1

Post MA - Second week

Good morning, everyone! It's been how many days since my last post here on this sub. As you know, it's "undas" today here in the Philippines. I don't have many friends to talk about my MA, and I am so sad today to think that my "first" baby is now in the hands of God. I know you'll think I'm so hypocritical to be so sentimental about this but very eager to be done by this last week. It's just that I am not ready to be a "mom" financially, emotionally, and spiritually unstable and not fit to raise a child. So yeah, I just want to update some of you (those who saw my posts last week). I am now on the 2nd week post MA; my bleeding is very light, and I'm kind of sensing that this bleeding might be done by this week. I am not experiencing any cramps or pregnancy symptoms anymore. Breast soreness is already gone; foods that I used to love before pregnancy are now already back (I love to eat those foods again!). Food aversion is also gone. I took pregnancy tests and it all came negative (actually, I took them last week, 3 days after MA; it is already negative). I asked WOW/WHW about it because I'm scared since I am seeing that it will take 2-3 weeks for me to test negative again. WHW/WOW told me that "maybe" when I was on my 5 weeks, I already miscarried the baby, and when I took the MA, I was already not very pregnant, and that my HCG was already going down by that time, making the MA work faster and cleaning my uterus very well as it expelling all the remains in my uterus, including the sac. It's a hell of a ride. Good luck to your MA guys! Me and my partner decided to do very safe sex; we already invested in condoms/birth pills; we don't want to be back in this situation (but after we graduate, we prayed that we would welcome this angel once he/she came back to ours). 🪽🤍

1 Comment
2024/11/01
00:33 UTC

0

3 weeks late but negative pregnancy test

Hi! My period was 3 weeks late, September 13 was my last period, supposedly october 18-20 I have my period but it does not come, btw I have a regular menstrual cycle but I do have issues like this before. September 29 my bf and I had unprotected sex and october first week I had a spotting which is at first I thought my period but it was very light bleeding. Then october 27 we had unprotected sex again but it just a quickey and he pull out faster. So I try to take pregnancy test 3 times and it was all negative. What does it mean? Am I pregnant even the test was all negative, and I dont have any symptoms, just my breast was sore already 3 weeks. Ty

3 Comments
2024/10/31
23:58 UTC

0

Pregnancy scare inquiries

Hey guys, I'm 22F I love kids and babysit my nieces alot but i don't want kids for myself. I'm not on any kind of birth control yet and live in a completely banned state. My bf and I messed around this cycle. We used a condom, we always do but i have a gut feeling that it might have not been effective. I track all my cycles and usually I ovulate at around day 12 or 13. We had sex on day 10 and my discharge was egg white and that led to my assumption that I might have messed up and had sex on my exact ovulation day. I get so anxious about pregnancy scares which turn out to be just scares and I just want to know if I can access abortion pills before hand since my period is due in less than two weeks. I live in a red state😪

I'm hoping that I didn't get pregnant this cycle but I just can't let the risk sink in because I'm at a point where I can't support that. I appreciate your help :)

10 Comments
2024/10/31
22:56 UTC

9

post abortion, filled with heartache, want to leave my husband

My partner and I have the most wonderful relationship. He really is a dreamy partner and there is nothing I would change about him.

But I feel extremely heartbroken and let down about my medical abortion experience.

We both really want kids, and unexpectedly got pregnant. He is in school, and immediately talked about how it wasn’t feasible for us right now, etc etc, all valid points, which I understand. I just wish that he could see me and where I was for a moment. I tried to share how sad I was, and I was just meant with reasonings as to why we can’t do this right now.

During my MA, he cared for my physical needs like helping me to the bathroom, bringing me water, food, tea, etc anything I needed. But I felt like he wasn’t there for me emotionally. He is usually a very emotional man so I felt very caught off guard. I just needed a hug while I was going through it.

Now I feel like I am drowning in grief to the point where I want to end my relationship. I just feel so let down by him. I have shared how sad I am etc and I get responses like I understand, I’m here for you, please let me know what I can do, etc. I told him that I felt like my emotional needs weren’t met while I was in serious pain, and he was very apologetic, but we can’t turn back the clock.

I love him so much, but this burden feels too heavy to carry.

7 Comments
2024/10/31
22:33 UTC

1

Day 1 Post MA WoW pills. Update

Hi. Just want to provide an update of my MA Process.

So I am nearly 10 weeks pregnant when I had my MA Process yesterday and the other day. I took the total of 1 mife and 12 miso.

I finished up to my 5th dose of Miso because I can still feel the cramping. Woke up today with a sharp stabbing pain in my abdomen. Haven't really changed my pad since 12am (i fell asleep). I only had the chance to go to the cr this morning. My maxipad is almost full. No clots but i can feel still feel the cramps.

I know symptoms of pregnancy diminishes pretty quickly. In my case my breast was still tender last night but it feels lighter and less tender today. This is a good sign right?

Just want to ask my fellow filipinas who took pills from wow, how many weeks have you had menstruation-like bleeding and cramps?

Update:

I think there's still tissue hanging on my vagina. It was a small one so I gentry pulled it out last night but today, i touched and knew there's still something. Is is something to worry about?

6 Comments
2024/10/31
22:11 UTC

29

My ex who said he’d support me through the abortion, has blocked me 😞

I am just so shattered and looking for support. I saw him last a couple days ago after I had a breakdown after leaving the abortion clinic. I haven’t heard from him since, which is technically fine because we’re not together anymore, but he said he would help me and be there for me and do anything I needed to get through this. And it really stings that he’s blocked me after I had a breakdown. I feel so judged and like I’ve overreacted. I feel so alone and ignored and let down and punished. Truly.

22 Comments
2024/10/31
22:00 UTC

1

abortion- what to expect

i had an abortion today, i was 9 weeks and took 6 pills. I wanted to put some information out there about what to expect because honestly i was shocked

i took my first 4 pills around 9:30am and inserted a tampon for an hour and a half the pain wasnt too bad at this point more so uncomfortable than painful but very frustrating

around the 3 hour mark was where things got really bad for me, i felt very nauseous and was in alot of pain, i couldnt stand as i felt like i was going to pass out it was genuinely one of the worst pains i have ever felt.

I went for a bath and lay for around 30-40 minutes i also took my last 2 pills around this time, they bath did really help and when i went to get out the bath i passed the pregnancy. This wasnt painful for me however it was alot bigger than i expected and it came out in the sack which i didnt expect at all, i honestly thought it was a lung at first.

i bled really heavy after that and sat on the toilet for around 25 minutes, i passed quite a few blood clots in this time. i put a pad on and soaked this through in 10 minutes however i put a second one on and fell asleep for a couple hours and woke up with no leaking

Directly after i passed the pregnancy i felt alot better, i was really nauseous the full 9 weeks and this eased off genuinely immediately however when i calmed down a bit i felt very cold, shaky and tired. I ate dinner once i woke up and i did feel a little nauseous after this but nothing at all compared to the sickness during the pregnancy.

its now 12 hours after the first pills were taken and i feel alot better best i have felt all day however still a little tender and still bleeding relatively heavy.

things i recommend getting before you go through your abortion below - ill answer any questions:)

pain killers - string as possible and dont wait for the pain take them preventative

thick pads - you want really big pads because you will bleed alot like im talking soaking 2-3 night pads an hour

period pants - i had some period pants which i wore but please do not wear a thong you will regret it so much, biggest, comfiest underwear you own

company - please have someone with you, i know it can be embarrassing or daunting to tell someone about but please dont go through this alone!

time off - take the day off work or school please domt work you need to relax and focus on recovery

r/abortion

2 Comments
2024/10/31
21:29 UTC

0

Not bleeding 4 hrs after taking miso

Hi! I have taken 4 misoprostol buccally, I took it at 1 am and vomited around 4 am. I’m not experiencing a lot of cramping and bleeding at all. I’m about to take my 2nd dose, any advice?

6 Comments
2024/10/31
20:41 UTC

0

Struggling with my choices

I’m struggling with what to do. I have a 1 1/2 year old who his dad is involved and we split time pretty evenly between us. I had been dating a guy since March and things were going very well. Unfortunately, I found out I’m pregnant this last week. He was calm at first but when we spoke in person he immediately said he wanted nothing to do with it, could care less if I “kept it or k*lled it” and if I kept it would not care for it. After telling me this, he then told me that he’d been hiding the fact that when we met in March he also found out another girl he was seeing at the time was pregnant, which he could care less for and actually gets annoyed when she reaches out. I’m struggling so bad with my options. I just bought a house. I broke down how much money I would have leftover each month if i were to budget the extra cost of daycare and new baby and it would'nt give me much wiggle room ($300 leftover after all bills, food, etc). If I take my emotions out of it I feel like an abortion is the right option. Im in Texas so I did order the pills to be mailed through Armadillo Clinic which the thought of taking them gives me a rush of stomach turning guilt. I go through one day thinking I can do it to the next thinking I can’t. I feel so lost as to how to make this choice. I did schedule therapy which unfortunately the soonest in my area is several weeks out and nowhere near as soon as I need it.

2 Comments
2024/10/31
20:40 UTC

1

Feeling numb, worst experience

I’m currently going through the abortion process and chose the pill version for privacy. I take full responsibility for this situation, but it has been an incredibly difficult experience and a harsh life lesson. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it since I didn’t want to share this with my friends. My partner has been very supportive, but he couldn’t be with me while I was taking the pills, and I really needed someone by my side during that time. We had to fly to New York, (U.S.A) because my scheduled abortion date didn’t align with Florida’s six-week limit. I didn’t want to go through this in another state, so I returned alone while my partner attended important meetings.

I honestly thought I was going to black out or pass out. The pain was the worst I’ve ever felt. I was shaking, vomiting, and dealing with diarrhea. I had to take an additional 600 mg of ibuprofen to numb the pain because it was unbearable. I finally see some light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe I’m being dramatic. This entire process, along with the hormonal changes, morning sickness, and exhaustion from pregnancy, has really made me reconsider motherhood, which I was already on the fence about. Just needed to vent. This whole process has left my a little numb and not sure how to feel.

4 Comments
2024/10/31
20:37 UTC

1

I want to bury my baby

I took the pill vaginally last night. The cramping was so intense but I feel like I haven’t seen any clots or any big ones at least. I try to look when I’m on the toilet so I can see what comes out of me because a part of me wants to touch and bury my baby. It’s probably weird and gross, but I don’t know, I just want to. I’m so scared of just flushing it down some drain. What are the odds that I will see my baby come out of me? Will it float or does it sink? I just..don’t want to feel like I’m just forgetting it. I want this all to feel like at least it meant something. I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but I also knew this was just absolutely not the right time for me or my partner. It feels like strangely it’ll help me find some type of closure for all of this.

9 Comments
2024/10/31
19:47 UTC

3

I'm 36 and considering an abortion, need advice!

I just found out last week that I am pregnant with my boyfriend of 5months. I am 36F and he is 36M. When we started dating we spoke about potentially wanting kids in the future, but not this soon. I told him I wasn't on birth control so we needed to be careful, but we weren't as careful as we should have been. I honestly didn't think it would happen so easily because I've had a couple slip ups in the past with exes and never got pregnant. I thought, at 36, one accident would bear a slim chance of pregnancy but well, here we are.

Before this all happened, I felt like I would never be the type to consider an abortion. I always figured - If it's meant to be, it's meant to be! And I guess that's why I wasn't careful. It seemed to me that my boyfriend was of a similar mindset. But, when I told him about the pregnancy, he seemed to be leaning much more towards the "we've only been dating a short time" and "I don't know if I'm ready for this" side of things.

Of course, I don't know if I'm ready for this either. I would like to have a better foundation with my partner, and for both of us to be more stable financially. He hates his job and has been looking for new jobs, so the timing isn't great on his end when it comes to work. I've also always been focused on my career, and I'm in the process of writing a book. I guess I've never really been the "I can't wait to be a mom!" kind of girl, but still thought that, if this day came, I'd be ready to take on the responsibility. Which is why I feel so awful that I'm considering an abortion when I'm already old to begin with!

I realize that if I do this, it could mean that I can never get pregnant again. But I keep thinking to myself - if he's not really excited about it, then I'll be the one who has to take responsibility and the idea of that scares the living sh*t out of me! I don't have parents around to help, a few friends but that's it. Would love to hear your stories and opinions if you're willing to share!

4 Comments
2024/10/31
18:49 UTC

0

Still getting positive tests after surgical.

Hi, for context I had a surgical abortion 8 weeks tomorrow for medical reasons and I took a test today and it’s positive, I’ve been having protected sex since about 3-4 weeks after, I read that it’s most likely due to residual Hcg, has anyone ever had this happen? I did have a test a few weeks ago that was negative and the line tests are so faint you can’t even see the line, it’s the digital tests that say yes.

6 Comments
2024/10/31
18:34 UTC

1

Having testing on Monday and very nervous

So i had a MA last Saturday 10/26, experienced cramping and a small amount of bleeding the next 2 days, then have had heavier bleeding for the last 3 days. Cramps are nearly non existent today and i have not had bleeding today. I scheduled an appt with my obgyn for Monday to have testing done, but i did not tell them i had taken the pills as i was told i did not need to. Is this something i should indeed bring up at my visit? Will it make a difference in their recommendation for next steps? I did tell them that i would not be keeping the baby, but left out that i had already taken abortion pills. I am extremely anxious about this visit and that they might tell me I still have an ongoing pregnancy. Also, is 8/9 days post MA too early for the type of tests they will perform?

4 Comments
2024/10/31
18:12 UTC

29

Childfree, accidentally pregnant and unhappy.

My husband and I (mid 30s) have been together for many years and decided early on we would be childfree for many reasons. Number one, I’ve never had a desire to become a mother. I don’t hate kids, they’re cute and bring joy to those I know that have them but they annoy me and I have too many personal goals that don’t involve motherhood. Second, the world is fucked and expensive and I can’t imagine raising a child in this current environment. We do well financially, but having a child would make things much harder and we’d have to put all financial goals on hold. Third, we have no immediate family where we live to help when we need a night away or a break for our sanity.

I've been on birth control since I was 17. A few months ago, I decided to take a short break for health and hormonal reasons and my husband was planning on getting a vasectomy soon anyways. We were careful during this time, but apparently not careful enough. I am now 5 weeks pregnant.

I won’t lie, a part of me right away thought it was the universe’s will to make me a mom and reroute my life goals, purpose and stop being “selfish”…but after it sunk in for a few days I found myself having panic attacks and crying over the idea of having a child. I have no excitement or happiness, only fear. I can’t even picture my life going that direction- it’s like a grey area in my mind that can’t even formulate an image.

We’ve decided to terminate the pregnancy, and I’m confident in that decision… but I can’t help but feel guilty and a little uneasy about it. I think it’s the right choice for us. I’m struggling and frustrated because I never thought I’d even be in this position to have to “choose.” Curious if anyone has had a similar experience and quickly found peace afterwards.

14 Comments
2024/10/31
18:05 UTC

1

My MA Experience, good!

Hi, wanted to share how my MA went today.

10/30 - took the mife pill, no side effects, was able to go to work just fine.

10/31 - an hour before taking the miso, I took 800mg ibuprofen to help with the expected pain and gladly it did! took the miso, then after 30mins swallowed the remaining with water. Just within 15minutes, I started feeling cramps 2/10 pain scale, then 5/10 and then I had an urge to pee and so when I sit on the bowl, clots started coming out, big clots, small clots and blood. Heating pad is a big rescue!

After 3hrs, I took another round of miso (2 tablets) and it feels like a regular period with light clots coming out.

Was able to sleep out after the procedure and woke up feeling better, not nauseous and dizzy anymore.

It was the hardest decision for me, its gonna be my first and last.

I was having a terrible anxiety before doing itb and ghaaaddd reading those extreme experiences from all around didn't really helpedmea huhu

You can do it, too! You will be okay!

2 Comments
2024/10/31
17:58 UTC

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