All ideas accepted. I think we should track down Corey561 and bring him back to the throne so he can explain how he had a reddit cult for a year a decade ago.

Corey

thanks

how

ANYONE HERE??????????¿???

Only big brain shall decode message

Was it me? I don't even come here.

Cory

Without the e

Haven't been here in like 5 or 6 years, hows everybody hanging. Wheres 1bubneb when you need him?

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Okay boys and girls story time for you. In the most vigorous days of abcqwerty with the hustling and bustling of new mods joining left and right and Corey was still an active member of the community, there was a rumor in the rumor mill that Corey could play a mean game of chess. Me, an aspiring new mod ready to prove my gumption, mustered up the ketchup to challenge Corey to a game. He casually agreed. But you see what Corey didn't know is at the time I was an avid chess player skilled in many openings such as the scholars mate and the 2 move mate as black, plus my mom would sometimes drive me to this chess tournament at a local private school with a bunch of white children. Anyways, I knew I had the fire to take on Corey but HE DIDN'T. You see, let me explain something else to you about Corey you may not know. He thought he was the shit. With a capital T. And can you really blame him? People literally worshipped him like a god. A bald, drum-playing, セクハラ god. So you can imagine when I challenged him to a game the look on his face.

As for the details of the match, well to be honest I can't remember much about it. To be totally honest I actually made up most of this story. But I do remember one thing and that's that we played chess, and oh-ho-ho let me tell you it was not pretty. You see Corey at the time was an in-patient at a semi-well known psychiatric hospital known by its patients as "the jug". Corey spent many adolescent years in this hospital ruminating over his traumatic childhood but more importantly (you may not know this because he did not include it in his memoir) he found his love for the game of chess. In fact Corey was so infatuated with chess from 5/05/2014 to 7/18/2014 that his psychiatric caretakers eventually removed the chessboard from the game room and suggested he pick up backgammon. The foolish caretakers failed to account for the fact that a new chessboard and chess set could easily be constructed with paper and pencil. Corey's chess regimen switched from day to night as he silently slid the paper chess pieces around on the cold floor, playing games with himself for the next few weeks. With no material and no one to play with Corey invented his own opening theory involving an early activation of the rooks via the corner pawns. A strategy that would shake the chess world soon after he was released when he played it against Viktor Korchnoi in a simultaneous exhibition. So as you may expect, Corey was pretty confident in his chess ability. But despite the theory he popularized in the chess community, his middle and endgame skills were lacking in luster. Fast forward to the present day, no wait, that's too far. Fast forward to 2015. Hot off his rocks Corey was understandably not perturbed by my challenge. Game 1 started. I held the white pieces, representing the Caucasian faction. Corey, controlling the black pieces, looked to put an end to institutionalized racism once and for all. His modus operandi, the rook lift. You see, Corey mobilized his rooks alright, but with great power comes great responsitrilitrax. He neglected a key move required in the position, King e7. Korchnoi later proved by moving the king one square forward, key bishop pins and back rank attacks could be completely avoided. Lacking this knowledge Corey went in like a busta. Using textbook lines I dismantled his attack and mobilized my minor pieces. Very soon his position was no longer playable and the referee awarded me one hotel on Park Place.

Now I know what you're all thinking...
"why do running shorts have a little triangle cut out at the bottom?" Wait... you want to know why you should care? Well let me share with you a little gossip. After I got my 3rd railroad Corey was visibly frustrated. I made a passing remark about how I must be cheating and this sent Corey into an uproar. His nostrils flared, lips curled back and his eyes turned a deep shade of vermilion. Corey declared the game null and me a cheater. I was left to clean up both monopoly and chess boards.

Now I know what you're thinking. What is the moral of this story??? 🤔

Get me my goddamn raisins and maybe I'll tell you.

You know who you are