Hello fellows meditators.

Recently I created a Telegram channel, with a purpose to get myself reminded about crucial parts of the path during the lifetime in a crowded social media environment.

Every day one Parami with a short description is published in the channel by a bot.

The idea is to get constantly reminded about randomly choosed Parami once a day, so one can reflect about this perfection, think about it and try to develop during the day. (The original idea was picked from the Ben Franklin '13 virtues'). Originally I made it for myself and few Vipassana friends in Ukraine, but then decide that someone else can benefit from such a reminder, so made it with multi-language in mind.

There are 3 channels now:

https://t.me/paramiday_en - English
https://t.me/paramiday_ua - Ukrainian
https://t.me/paramiday_ru - Russian

And posts are scheduled for 7am (GMT+2), as it is my local time.

Bot itself is called ParamiDayBot. It has a command to display all Paramis, if you are curious about the descriptions: https://t.me/ParamiDay_bot

As a source I took descriptions of Paramitas from 10d course, and slightly rewrote and translated them with ChatGPT.

More languages can be added easily, and the bot itself is available on the GitHub. It's really basic, but can be improved with time. For example, for now "Random" mean, that there are no specific logic, and it can be, that two days a row will get the same Parami. And I didn't bother myself with a README yet.

Please contact me if you would like to add a channel with your language, or want to contribute in this project.

I hope someone can benefit from this small reminders.

Have a great day and be happy!

Metta

The pamphlets they gave us said a 10 day retreat annually. I have heard that you need a minimum 3/4 months at least but I am unsure of the validity of that statement. Didn't find info about this on the dhamma website except on Quora. 3/4 months doesn't seem like long enough to integrate what you've learned into your day to day life. Wouldn't a healthy pace be a 10 day retreat 6 months apart or must it be a year?

Metta to all

I have attended 2, 10 day courses (1 in Bangalore, India and 1 in Melbourne) but never continued the meditation at home. So if there is anyone who is doing the meditation daily for 2 hours or more, please show a raise of hands, also please mention since when you have been doing it.

Hello,

I want to try a Vipasana Retreat where you can write (possibly also read) create art, walk around and stretch or do yoga (& possibly exercise) & be surrounded nature or have many opportunities to venture into nature. Having 3 meals or 2 really large meals with an option for a snack in between is also super important for me due to health reasons.

The part of Vipasana that I am looking for the most is the week long Silent Meditation & the no-phones aspect so I can hear my inner teacher more clearly & possibly experience some insight or clarity from the long periods of uninterrupted silence and minimal distractions, but I'm not sure that I'm ready for a super strict & traditional Vipassana Retreat quite yet. I know some of them don't even allow yoga & I need to move my body and practice yoga and walking for my health & to prevent further medical issues.

I am okay with possibly not being allowed to read anything, but I'd like a retreat where I can at least write or make art if I get any good insights (if they have guided journaling and art prompts that aid the Vipassana process, that's even better!)

Being surrounded by nature or having easy access to trails ot natural environments to walk around is also very important to me, & as I mentioned in opening paragraph, having substantially sized meals if it's just 2 meals a day, with a snack and plenty of water in between, or a regular 3 meal arrangement is very important to me to prevent medical symptoms from acting up.

I also don't mind volunteering & doing some service work during the retreat of there is an option for it, but I am not looking for something with a strict schedule of required service work.

Has anyone done a retreat that fits all or most of these preferences or found one in their own research that fits these preferences even if they haven't attended yet?

If it's not free or donation based, I might be open to paying up to 500 USD (including accommodation & meals and everything) just to find a place that meets all these preferences and is at least 7 days long (though I am also open to 10 days or 2 weeks).

I know they exist out there because I am currently at an Ayurvedic Ashram & have met people who've been to & enjoyed these more flexible retreats, but I am not going to the same ones as them because its either out of my budget to get there (travelling costs) the dates aren't working out, or their course description/approach is simply not resonating at this time. I know that "the perfect Vipassana Retreat" may not exist, but I am looking for one that resonates and makes me take the leap. I haven't found any that are striking that cord in me so far so I am still searching.

Thank you!

In below video https://youtu.be/x7CvWa6Ly3g si=oeG6Dx5ZdI_PfHgz goenkaji mentions that passion went away for practisioners after few years of practice if it true for everyone?

If I try to observe sensations when feelings of loneliness or lust arise the feeling go away if i don't react but my mind goes to a state where it start loosing interest in other activities. Will the situation improve or I should not risk staying alone? I am not craving for results but Going by the milestone list I didn't reached even the first station called bhanga state in last 10 years (did a 20 day course) so not sure if i should spend even more time on meditation or I am trying too hard to steer my mind towards vipassana observing the sensations when desires arose and reducing my social life?

I'm about to serve on my first 10-day Vipassana course in the USA and I'm a bit confused about the policy regarding phones and electronics for servers.

The official guide for servers only mention newspapers and books. I searched this sub and found comments that suggests using electronics is okay as long as it is done in the server quarters and not bothering anyone. The confirmation says servers are asked to refrain from outside contact by phone and computer.

Could anyone share their knowledge and experience regarding this? I'm interested in both the official policy and what's actually practiced during the course.
Thank you.

Hi all, some of my friends expressed interest to learn meditation and since I did a couple of vipassana courses, asked if I could teach them some basics. On one hand, I am a bit hesitant to teach them and they are reluctant or currently unable to go for the 10-day course. What's the best approach here? Would an introduction to anapana for example, make sense?

https://preview.redd.it/i01ug1548txd1.png?width=2778&format=png&auto=webp&s=f434bf0b340641919ff795d1b713640d166be632

How I did it

I collected almost all the English included daily virtual group sits from the official vipassana site. And put the detailed meeting instructions in the event description.

I've seen 3 apps used

- Zoom

- Virtual Conference Call

- Teams

Basically it's just audio, no difference than playing the audio on your own. But a precise time in the day is helpful when I'm hesitating. It gives me no excuses and forces me to sit with the clock.

Use cases

- when I'm traveling across timezones

- when things happen and I cannot follow a set daily schedule

- handling the daylight switching periods

The problems

- some time slots are still missing lol. Maybe it's already enough but it'd be cool if there's no empty slots at all.

- I cannot test it thoroughly. I used my utmost care but maybe there are typos?

- maybe some regional group sits are updated later, I'm still thinking if there's a way I can automate the update.

Sharing

If anyone's interested plz comment, I can share them.

But maybe I need to find a password protection since there's a lot people here in this sub have not attended their first retreat.

I have done one 10 day course in Asia and one 10 day course in North America. I realised just how different the centres are in set up, food variety, content played, etc., and how that creates a different experience. I don't think there is any better or worse. It is just different.

The Asian centre was more basic (dormitory, food choices, bathrooms) and more focused on teaching the technique rigorously (I personally really liked it). Less about joining the community, more about the individual journey.

The North American centre was much more 'luxurious' and felt more focused on giving the 'customer' a good experience (loads of different foods, comfy beds, nice bathrooms, lots of talk about serving). Not sure they are the right terms to use, but they are the first ones that came to mind.

If Buddhism got diluted over time when it spread out to different parts of the world, I am wondering what is happening to Vipassana now that Goenka has passed away?

What are your thoughts on having those differences across centres?

I recently completed 10 days course (first time).

At 7th day I started having some thoughts. These thoughts started coming while moving attention from top to bottom.

Problem here is - these thoughts are associated with certain part of body and not related to any sensations and whenever I scan and goes to that particular part these thoughts not leaving me.

It’s ripple affected and even start of practice I have these thoughts and even not doing Vipassana I am having these thoughts

I had never had these thoughts in my life.

I tried with observation of these thoughts during practice and ananpana etc but not helping.

I know in Vipassana we don’t need to observe thoughts and only observe sensations.

Any ideas/ helps ? Thanks

Seemingly, what I have noticed is that stream entry and awakening, kensho does not seemed to be discussed here as much as I thought it would be.

Hi I want to wear whoop https://www.whoop.com/us/en/ . It has no screen no sound no nothing. After wards , when I am back home, I want to see if my vitals changed during the ten days. I am curious. Will they allow at the centre?

Summary

I returned yesterday from a 10 day Vipassana with my friend. It was his first time sitting, I served.
My experience left me feeling peaceful and rejuvenated, I got back to good flow. His was incredibly difficult, marred with frequent panic attacks, a constant headache which has still not subsided, and feelings of intense psychedelic experience. He described his process and I learned that he was doing the technique differently to me, and to my understanding incorrectly. Last night he coached me through the technique he had used and I tried it, after just 40 minutes I felt incredibly activated, it felt like I was on a cross between mdma and a shroom dose of about 1g. At the end I started to feel an outward pressure from inside my head and today I woke with unusually high alertness (no sleep inertia) and have suffered a very mild headache most of the day (very unusual for me).

The techinque involves moving part to part, but instead of releasing the previous part, it is added cumulatively into the awareness once a tingling sensation is felt on it. Until the entire body is held, tingling in the awareness. This can take some time and flowing over it is more difficult.

What is this technique? It feels so powerful - does it have a name? What is going on here in the mind and body? Is it linked to going deeper with Vipassana? I want to understand what is happening.

Details...

What I think Vipassana is, my experience/technique

After focussing and calming the mind through anapana, I would start moving through my body part by part seeing if a sensation would show up on that part, if it did (often an itch or tickle- but it could be anything), I would move onto the next part. Rinse and repeat.

Over time, sensations would appear sooner/more easily, then at some point, almost like a switch, my body would begin to 'light up'/'glow' with sensation in the places I put my awareness, I could move this glow up and down my body with my awareness. Some areas wouldn't flow, so I'd sit my attention there, wait for a sensation and then move on. Over time, these dark areas would become awakened and I would be able to flow over them too. Over time the whole body is able to flow, and a full scan can be done in 10-15 seconds and feels often very pleasurable. The glow flows over the surface of the body, and feels like a cross-sectional scan up and down with the awareness.

As I gained this increased awareness of flow of sensation, I also honed equanimity, and sitting in discomfort while varying between sits, became easier, with gross painful sensations lessening their hold over me.

I could flow across the body with ease, feeling good, a scan could be easily done in 10-15 seconds. My equanimity would allow for complete ease of sitting for a full hour or more on calm sits. On agitated sits, I would begin to struggle after 45mins, but only lightly. Equanimity wasn't always perfect (this will become relevant later).

What my friend experienced

For the first 3 days my friend did his anapana, and got on fine with it. Although he began to get a lot of discomfort from his back which lead to a migraine. However, he overcame this around day 6.

(This part feels like a familiar journey for many, including me - for me it was knee pain. A discomfort in the first half of the course that seems to grow, to the point that it starts to seem insurmountable. The teaching being that this is just our mind's aversion, we soon realise trying different ways of sitting doesn't allow us to escape our pain (external solution), but instead we must be equanimous internally. My friend seemed to learn this around day 6 and had understanding of equanimity)

He did struggle with the final stage of the anapana (feeling sensations on the upper lip and staying with them instead of the breath), his lip was often dark/blind.

When vipassana day came around, he started, he moved his attention to the top of his head and waited. After a few moments he might feel an itch or tickle, like an ant/some ants crawling on the top of the head. This is where I feel our techniques parted...

During days 4 to 10 with his technique, he experienced a constant pressure headache brought on by the meditations, then also began to experience panic attacks and extreme anxiety. As well as psilocybin-like experience of a heroic dose strength. By day 10 he was struggling to sit, even closing his eyes would be triggering. He experienced panic attacks even once home (after meditating with me to show me his technique), his headache is still ongoing. He has not meditated today or experienced a panic attack, but feels incredibly anxious. He simply found the whole experience incredibly draining - panic attacks, headaches, lack of sleep for 10 days.

He did ask the AT about things a bit during the course but it wasn't enough to clear things up properly. My friend ultimately thought the panic attacks were likely Sankharas and as things got worse, he just thought he had to push through, and try to be more equanimous.

His technique

Warning: I don't recommend trying this without understanding of what you are doing. If you try this for yourself, please proceed with caution, it left me feeling very alert and activated, and took a long time to deactivate, as well as causing headache. Trying before bed is certainly not advisable.

Coming off the back of a 10 day sit, my mind was very focussed, making following this technique possible. My friend talked me through what to do. I would feedback on the experience and my experience mirrored exactly to his, which was incredibly validating for him.

Put the attention on the top of the head, and wait for sensation, often this sensation would be a tickle, itch or tingle. With this sensation now in the awareness, move down the scalp, however, still maintain the top of the head in the awareness.

(These tingles often feel a bit like ants walking across the skin, leaving trails that fade slowly behind them)

As the attention sits in the lower part of the scalp, nothing may happen for a while, but eventually the tingles will spread, this spread is not always uniform, but the spread can be analogised by a thick bucket of tar being poured on the head.

This process goes onwards, with new parts being added piece by piece, while always holding all previous parts in the awareness. We had some agreement on areas which were easier/more difficult to find sensation. Easier parts included the shoulders and upper back, more difficult were inside thigh and abs. The process of adding each part into the awareness took about 25-30mins until the whole body was held.

My friend is able to complete the process in a matter of a few minutes given his practise of/accustom to it.

Once parts were in the awareness it was very easy to hold them, feeling the tickling sensation. I was even able to talk with him as I added them in (although this did make it more difficult, I would sometimes have to go quiet for a few moments if I felt I was losing it a bit). Adding new parts could be done two ways:

1. Focus on a nearby part:

e.g. if the tingles were at the neck, focus on the collar bone and wait for a tickle, the collar bone could then be added to the rest of the awareness and the area inbetween that and the neck would 'fill in' with relative ease, provided the parts were close.

2. Focus on the edge of tingles:

Putting the awareness on a part of the body at the edge of the tingling area currently in the awareness and waiting would often lead to the tingles growing/spreading, it felt like a blanketing vine or ivy growing randomly in spurts across the body.

He warned me that if you try to move the attention too far from the original lit up areas and connect them, it would lead to losing the first area. Although I did not try this.

e.g. if the head is lit up and held in awareness, and the attention is moved to the thigh, and a tingle is found. Holding this tingle in the awareness and then trying to move towards the head to connect the areas, would lead to the head sensations being lost from the awareness. However he also said, once activated in that meditation session, even if those head sensations were lost, they were easier to get back since they'd already been activated.

During this process:

- I felt very relaxed and it didn't feel overly mentally exerting - however I could feel an outward pressure building in my head.

- Equanimity was seemless, there was no discomfort in my body at all, it felt almost impossible to feel discomfort from the sit. Once I came out of it, I went to stand, and could only then realise the discomfort some parts of my body were in.

- I started having some mild closed-eye visions, these are normal for me in my normal vipassana, but would only show up in 1 or maybe 2 sits a day. They began showing up, albeit mildly, from the start of sitting with this technique leading me to infer that it caused heightened amounts of visuallisation, which concurred with my friend's experience on the course.

- Flowing was really difficult....

I tried to flow, and it felt different, less like a cross-sectional scan of the body, but more like rings rolling down the parts of the body. It was effortful to move the flow and did not feel anywhere near as powerful as a regular flow. It was also not pleasurable, it was neutral - as I said eqanimity was seemless.

For me, in a regular flow, flowing down the arms AND torso together would be more difficult than flowing down the arms, coming back up and then flowing down the torso. Flowing with my friend's technique, while the whole body was lit up with tingles in the awareness, the opposite was true. Flowing down the arms and torso together was easier than seperately, even though the flow felt like 3 seperate rings flowing down, one on each part.

Flowing over the legs was also very confusing when the legs were crossed, this was also true of the fingers. It was a lot easier to flow when these areas were not crossed.

As mentioned, I took 25-30mins to bring the full body into the awareness, covered in tingles. I spent about 40mins or so in total meditating with the technique. By the end I was incredibly mentally activated and alert, like a cross between a light-ish dose of shrooms and mdma, I felt quite dissosiated. My head felt pressurised - I had a mild headache the following day from it.

At the end of the sit, as an experiment, I asked my friend to touch me, he put his hand on my arm and shoulder, and his touch deactivated the tingles in that part of my body. After opening my eyes the tingles faded slowly over 2 to 5 miniutes, they faded non-uniformly, in a splotchy pattern, the fade growing from the areas already faded.

I was astonished at the power of this technique and was overly confused by it. It didn't seem to break the idea of vipassana as I didn't feel like I was creating desired sensations, but simply viewing 'what is' - waiting for what showed up, and then holding that area in the awareness. However the technique certainly felt at odds with my own and how I understood it should be practiced.

After trying the technique, I let the sensations fade, and then did some anapana and tried my usual flow, all back to normal. I then taught my friend how I felt vipassana should be practiced, he was able to flow immediately and felt a lot of relief and disbelief at the pleasantness of it. We then had to stop, for him, even a small amount of meditation began to trigger him so close to his traumatic 10 days.

My friend had spent 6 days doing this, in a state of high activation, dissociation, headaches, unable to sleep - like doing multiple daily shroom trips. Having done it for 40mins and feeling the power, I can totally understand how that happened.

Does anyone have related experienced? Please help me understand what is going on here?

Today, I conclude a 10-day digital detox. A 10-day digital detox taught me that nothing in my life was truly urgent — what I once deemed important, demanding immediate attention... For days, I’ve been confined to a small cubicle, practicing meditation—not the kind I inherited from tradition, but something that resonates with the depths of my being. It’s a practice that breathes life into ancient words, words that once seemed like hollow echoes of a distant past but now carry the weight of the universe within them.

Here's the full article..

https://open.substack.com/pub/ashutoshjoshi/p/coming-back-to-abnormeality?r=lpw52&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

I have a close friend who is transgender. She is very interested in Vipassana but is concerned (I think understandably from her perspective) regarding the separation of men and women during the course, and about the possibility of this being some kind of issue in some capacity. I’m curious if anyone here could speak on this. I have sat two courses and have never experienced anything negative, but I’m also a cis male. If there were a trans man sitting and eating with me while sitting a course I would only send them metta and be encouraged by their participation… but I can only speak for myself (and during the ten days I’m not doing much speaking either way). Thoughts? Experiences? Thank you all

May all beings be happy, peaceful, and liberated!

Back to a busy city. Back to work. Back to socializing. Bachelor parties. Dating. Money. Political news. So much.

I’m struggling here.

How can I get back to equanimity?

I need to commit to meditation as a daily ritual.

I’m just seeking some support, could use some encouragement :)

Hello everyone! I was wondering how to find and come in contact with the meditation centers. I am looking for somewhere in South East Asia. What is the standard price of the stay or is it free? Thanks

Please could someone with experience describe hours of the day what you are doing. Is it just meditating no talking at all to anyone for 10days?

Hi all,

I am an immigrant here and don't drive. What are the best ways to get to the centers near Seattle? Firstly, managing to get a spot looks very difficult and aligning it with permissions at work and then lack of transport makes it extremely difficult.

If there is a forum where people share rides, that will be helpful.

Thanks

Impermanence is the nature of all things 🙏

I started this from research as I battled through episodes of SI. Day 3 was the worst so far- realizing how dark my inner world is, where a lot of my issues stem from and uncovered some ugly truths about my start of life; mostly issues developed with my parents neglect and allowance of ab_se. Today, I missed majority of my sittings because I am EXHAUSTED and have started to resent my meditation alarm and mat. Many thoughts that I'm doing this wrong and should start over, however am being reassured that all of this is "apart of the process." I also wanted to attempt quitting smoking, however the deep, dark realizations made me crave even more. I still aim to quit by the end of this as I'm seeing my cravings and why/when they become a thing kind of different.

Anyone set out on this incredibly challenging journey by themselves? How was Your experience? All thoughts and opinions welcomed. 34f.

Hello people. I’ve recently taken upon studying vipassana after having an insight into impermanence and ego. I have been practicing samatha meditation regularly for more or less of 2 months, a decision which I made after experiencing a new kind of low in my life. I do have heavy ties to Buddhism having come from a buddhist family and from a country where most people are Buddhist. March of this year, I moved to New York for the sake of better education and opportunities which has been far from my idealistic envisioning of the city itself and my position in it. I’ve hit rock bottom which led me down an abyss of weed, cigarette, liquor addiction. However a daily practice of Samatha helped me reevaluate my deeply burdened self. I’ve taken shrooms here and there since then to help with self realization. 4 years ago under the relentless persistence of my mother, I decided to join monk-hood for a month during which time I wasted time and averted meditation however I could. Which I now regret. Because I’m finding it rather difficult to integrate the vipassana teachings into practice. When I close my eyes and enter a meditative state. I find myself often going back to Samatha to which I like to think I am well accustomed. Because over the course of 2 months. I’ve meditated 2 hours consistently everyday. Vipassana seems rather easier said than done. So I was wondering if you had any useful tips for a novice like myself. Thank you. Sending metta to everybody.

Absolutely loved my last 10-day retreat, and want to do another.

The only thing is sharing a bathroom with other men, was disgusting.

So, does anyone have some retreats they've been to that offer private bedrooms/bathrooms in the United States?

Hello everyone,

During my second Vipassana course, I felt immense gratitude for the organization providing so much vegan food. Still, I couldn’t ignore a sense of unease each time I saw animal products served. On the other hand, I was genuinely happy to see thoughtful touches, like a huge bowl of homemade vegan mayonnaise—it was so delicious and considerate that I almost cried.

It wasn’t until day three, after Mr. Goenka’s second discourse the evening before, when he spoke explicitly about love for all beings and avoiding harm, that something clicked for me.

I realized that my gratitude was misplaced. I felt selfish, as veganism isn’t about us as vegans—it’s about those who are systematically exploited and harmed. I began to understand that while vegan options were appreciated, they weren’t enough to address the deeper ethical contradiction I was feeling. This awareness stayed with me, growing stronger until day four’s Vipassana session when it became nearly unbearable. The contradiction felt too significant to ignore.

A natural question comes to mind: wouldn’t a fully vegan approach align Vipassana centers even more closely with their core values? Here are some thoughts to consider:

1. Extending Compassion to All Beings: Vipassana emphasizes metta—unconditional love and compassion for all. A vegan practice would extend this compassion to all sentient beings, ensuring no animals are harmed in support of our practice.

2. Ethical Conduct (Sila): Vipassana encourages ethical living, minimizing harm to others. Given the realities of animal agriculture, maintaining a vegetarian-only diet can still involve harm, whereas a vegan approach minimizes this impact more fully.

3. Evolving Tradition: Vipassana centers have a long-standing tradition of vegetarianism. However, as our understanding of non-harm grows, and as we learn more about the systematic suffering caused by animal exploitation, isn’t it worth considering if a shift to veganism would better reflect Vipassana’s core values?

4. Nutritional Considerations: Research and dietary guidelines worldwide show that a well-planned vegan diet meets nutritional needs at all life stages. Many centers already offer fortified foods and plant-based options, so a full transition could be implemented smoothly. Only in cases of medical need would an animal-based option be considered, sourced ethically.

5. Environmental Impact: Animal agriculture significantly contributes to environmental degradation, affecting countless beings and ecosystems. Reducing or eliminating animal products honors the interconnectedness of all life.

I’m sharing this with deep respect and gratitude for the invaluable teachings of Vipassana. This feels like an area worth reflecting on, not to criticize but to explore if we can deepen our practice by more fully embodying these values. I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I hope we can approach this topic with compassion and openness to maintain a respectful, thoughtful discussion.

Does anyone here share similar feelings? I recently found a well-made documentary on India’s milk tradition that won multiple awards; it might add valuable insights to this conversation. Since there are already many out here about west countries.

https://youtu.be/q5Y5sMz3RHU?si=2VZUAyRFcruNbT4l

My first retreat was a year ago. My practice since then hasn't been rigorous. But recently have found myself thinking about the retreat often and reading and rereading my post-retreat journal and meditating more. I think I need to go back but I have too many commitments and responsibilities. Appreciate any advice

I am finally going to travel through India next month and would like to visit some of the famous centers. I am probably flying into Kochi and heading north to Goa, Pune, and Mumbai. Any recommendations? Especially in Mumbai, is there a center I cannot miss?

I know it’s quite a long text. I have a tl;dr at the end, but I’d like to invite you to read the whole story. Maybe you can relate, would love to discuss with you! So:

Around six months ago I completed my first 10-day Vipassana retreat. And I must say that I had an incredible experience, one that I still can’t fully put into words. From day 6 onwards, I entered a flow state during meditation, and on the morning of day 7, I had an indescribably intense experience. While meditating in my room, my perception almost completely dissolved, and I couldn’t feel my body anymore. I felt like I was pure energy. At first, my heart was beating stronger and stronger, but eventually, I couldn’t feel it anymore. I was in a pure endorphin rush. It felt like all the serotonin or dopamine or endorphins were being released, and it kept getting more and more intense. It was a complete state of ecstasy. It became stronger, then weaker, going back and forth, and I couldn’t control it. During this, I kept feeling desire and aversion, and I didn’t want to delve further into it. I had never experienced anything so intense. After about 20-30 minutes, the whole thing slowly stopped, and I began to feel my body again. When I opened my eyes, I saw everything incredibly clearly and intensely. When I went outside, the sun was shining through me in an unbelievable way. I could perceive the sun with such intensity that it was almost overwhelming. I closed my eyes, but I could still feel all the people walking or sitting and meditating outside, even though my eyes were closed. I walked around and went into the small forest area where we could walk, and I could feel everything. I could feel the trees, I could feel the sun. It was so incredibly intense that I had to make loud noises the entire time because it was so overwhelming. Then I realized that I was distracting others with my gestures and reactions, so I went back to my room as the stimuli were too much. I went into the room, closed the door, and suddenly started laughing uncontrollably because I couldn’t make sense of the situation. After laughing, I suddenly began crying deeply because everything was so beautiful. I cried so intensely because everything was so beautiful. In the end, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to calm down, and I felt an immense sense of gratitude for being alive. It was indescribable. Everything was just so beautiful, and I couldn’t understand why there is hatred, sadness, or war in the world.

Then another meditation session in the hall began and a course assistant came with the gong. I went up to him and told him that I couldn’t meditate at the moment and that I would like to spend some time alone to enjoy the moment a bit more. He came up to me and said that he would be happy if I joined the session and that he would wait for me if I needed help. I told him I didn’t need help because I felt extremely good, better than I ever had. He then said that he would really be happy if I came and would wait for me. Everyone had already gone to the hall, and I was torn, but I went anyway to meditate in the hall, only to find that I couldn’t focus at all. I just stared out the window for an hour during the meditation and felt myself slowly coming down, as if I was coming down from a trip. Afterward, I felt very exhausted. That feeling lingered for a while, but I was okay. The next morning, I meditated in my room again, and suddenly, the same thing happened as the previous day—a mind-blowing state of euphoria. I felt like a total high with energy rushing through my body. I felt extreme happiness and euphoria, and this time I was less afraid since I had experienced it before. I went even deeper without aversion. It became more and more intense and lasted for about 20 minutes again.

Afterward, however, I was no longer in such prolonged euphoria and insight; instead, I felt very, very tired, drained, and exhausted and just wanted to sleep, but the whole day was still ahead of me. It was only 9 a.m., and the rest of the day was very exhausting. I had headaches, I couldn’t concentrate, and I had many thoughts because this experience was so intense. In the evening, during the evening discourse, I suddenly felt extremely unwell. I became cold, started shaking, and didn’t feel good at all. I had thousands of thoughts, negative thoughts. A lot of fear came up, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I wanted to get up and get some fresh air, but everyone else was sitting quietly, so I didn’t get up and leave. At first, I tried to fight it, but then I thought that this is exactly what we are learning—allowing feelings, Anicca, Anicca, Anicca, that everything is impermanent, the positive and the negative, and that I just have to let all the fear that was coming up wash over me. That’s what I did, and I was on the verge of a panic attack. I had never experienced something like that before, and I would describe it as a panic attack. But I just let everything wash over me, and after five minutes, I slowly started warming up and calming down, and the feelings passed.

After that, I was very thoughtful for a long time, and the experience actually scared me, and I carried it with me for a long time. When I was lying in bed, I thought about it and realized that it was pointless to bring this negative experience from the past into the present moment. Still, it resonated with me for a long time. The next day, I talked to the teacher, and he told me that it was a very, very good experience, both the positive and the negative, as all the sankharas from the past had come up, and I had responded correctly and let them wash over me. The last two days were still strongly marked by these experiences. The teacher also recommended that I not go so deep into the meditation if it was overwhelming and to participate in the Metta meditation, especially on the last day. I was indeed afraid because I have a friend with panic attacks and he struggled with them for years, and I didn’t want to integrate that into my life. Luckily, I never had another one after that.

The intensity of the positive experience was a thousand times stronger than the negative one. Nevertheless, the negative experience stayed with me mentally. The days and weeks after, I needed some distance from meditation, and during the first two or three times I spoke about the positive insights, I still cried because the positivity overwhelmed me so much.

Overall, it was truly an intense experience. Now it’s been six months, and I can talk about it more easily than I could shortly after. Unfortunately, I didn’t integrate the meditation practice into my life after Vipassana, but I’m slowly starting again, reading many books about it, and I’d like to do another Vipassana. I know this is a long story, but I’d be very interested to know if any of you have had similar experiences during a retreat, how it went for you, and how you dealt with it. The teacher said that I probably experienced one of the first Bhanga stages, though I find it difficult to get much information about that as it’s only briefly mentioned in Vipassana. Do you have more information about it? All the best, and Anicca.

TL;DR: Just finished my first 10-day Vipassana retreat and it was a wild ride. I hit a peak on day 7 where I felt like pure energy, couldn’t feel my body, and was in a total euphoria—like all my serotonin and endorphins were flooding at once. The world felt intensely vivid, and I could feel everything, from the trees to the sun, like I was one with it all. But then, I hit a low, almost had a panic attack during an evening session, and was overwhelmed with fear and negative thoughts. I rode it out, but it left me mentally and physically drained. Six months later, I’m slowly starting to meditate again, but I’m still processing the whole thing. Anyone else had a Vipassana experience with such extreme highs and lows?

Hello,

I took my first 10 day course and it finished on the 19th (4 days ago). I had amazing experiences and really enjoyed my time there.

It took some time to get adjusted to the ”real world” with all the impressions. Everything was fine and I wasn’t experiencing any tiredness until I started working yesterday.

I work from home and I’ve been waking up at 5 AM every morning and meditating for 1 hour. I feel fine throughout the day until I have my lunch. I don’t eat particularly heavy food, and the portions are not so big. Before I started working I was having big portions and could stay awake the entire day without an issue. Now I feel super drowsy after lunch and I always need to take a 1.5-2 hour nap.

I think my brain is just adjusting to the fact that I am working again, because I would experience the same thing when I had a 3 month break from working.

EDIT: after my nap I feel fine and energetic, and I meditate in the evening too. Maybe I just need more sleep.

Has anybody experienced the same thing and want to share their experience :)

Much Metta <3

Trying to use the Dhamma app (old student) and struggling to find a recording with Metta instructions in English due to the naming conventions (eg Dhamma Setu, Dhamma Giri).

Can anyone signpost me to one they have found please?

With much metta!