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Fellow unschoolers: what are some concerns that you had (or others have had) about unschooling that ended up being unfounded?

I would love to see a thread addressing the fallacies of unschooling. I’d also love to hear about genuine issues and how people address them.

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A perpetual example, in my experience, is literacy and learning to read. Popular belief assumes children will not learn to read without formal education like that in primary school.

Of course, unschoolers learn to read, some even earlier than average, and many become fiercely independent readers.

While a child with a learning disability like dysgraphia or dyslexia may have difficulties learning to read or comprehend written language, unschoolers approach those challenges in curated ways that would be great to share.

I think those curious about unschooling might like to know how we go about the actual application of unschooling and how we address these concerns.

Hi. I just learned about unschooling and was curious if there are any older kids/teens/young adults who completed their entire education through unschooling. If so, how do you feel about it overall- was it a good experience? What are the pros and cons? And what do you do now? Was it easy to transition out of your parent's home? Does it upset you that you "missed out" on traditional school things like spelling bees, dances, school sports, etc. I would appreciate any feedback folks are willing to share, thank you!

I learned about unschooling through a friend of mine who is unschooling her kids. My kid started kindergarten this year (public school), which is going well. Growing up, I experienced elements of unschooling, most notably over the summers and during a year where I was not enrolled in school, and what I learned was driven by the books I read or checked out at public libraries.

It occurs to me that some of the methods used in unschooling would be applicable to some extent in many/any educational approach, eg, strewing. I can say that this view may be influenced by my own personality, where I don’t know that I have met a subject that I didn’t find pretty interesting in some way (I like systems thinking, and virtually everything is a system, or an element of a system).

What unschooling practices might you recommend for folks like us who aren’t unschooling? What things do you think are less likely or infeasible to translate?

My 6 year old would not eat anything. Ive tried everything but no success. All she eats is yogurt and cucumber. Pediatrition said as long as shez healthy and active dont worry. But im worried for she will develop eficiencies.

An aspect of unschooling that is really exciting for me is getting drawn into my child’s interests as I work to facilitate learning through the subjects that interest them.

What are some surprises your unschooling experiences have brought about, and how have you gone about creating educational experiences using that subject matter?

One example for our family was based in our child’s fascination with both red pandas and fossils. We facilitated this learning by traveling to the Gray Fossil Site in eastern Tennessee where a species of red panda was discovered.

Because my child is interested in fossils and paleontology, I have learned more about these subjects than I ever would have on my own. I have read countless books and articles on these subjects, and we have taken numerous trips based on these interests.

Whenever a new interest presents itself, my spouse and I find ourselves immersed in new reading material and planning.

I would love to hear about other parents’ involvement in hyper focused subjects and side quests and their joy of discovering new interests alongside their children.

Unschooling is heavily interest-led so a lot of skills and knowledge will be very specific to the individual. However are there subjects that are a must for a child to know? Combining an interest with learning math, reading or writing is an often used strategy. This implies that math, reading and writing are important subjects for a child to know. Are there other non-negotiables for your kids that they have to know?

Or another way to look at this is. When would you consider your unschooling endeavor to be a disappointment once your child reaches the age of 18 (let's use 18 as a cutoff since somewhere around this point you'll probably have less and less influence as a parent/teacher)? I am mostly curious about the types of subject based knowledge you really want your kids to have instead of important personality traits (like perseverance, empathy etc.). I suspect most people would be disappointed if their kids couldn't read by the age of 18 for example.

I was reading through /teachers and came upon this wrt unschooling:

"Unschooling really doesn't prepare you for that at all." correct, you don't learn that everything you do is done in a context which you may have little control off.

At "real-life" we learn that there's the stuff you like to do and the context in which you do it. for example Context-based-Frustrations

• you love programming but management is a pain, and the deadlines impossible
• you love playing this music in this band, but some of the band members are idiots

This is different than "subject-based-frustrations"

• I really don't understand this Python syntax
• I can't play this passage by Paganini at the speed it need to be done

the unschooled are used to getting through "subject-based-frustrations" only.

And also:

Perseverance is such an important matter of character development and it cannot be "taught" in the traditional sense - it can only be learned by doing! It's why we give kids due dates, tough assessments, and multiple-page essays.

It applies to personal obligations, too. When my grandma was in hospice, my cousin's twins were 10 and didn't like going to see her at the nursing home. We were at the house getting ready to go visit grandma and one of the twins was dragging their feet about it, my cousin said "well kid, most of life is doing things we don't want to do."

That was the last week my grandma was lucid before she passed and ten years later I'm still so thankful to have had that time with her. Bless those teachable moments!

I think about that a lot, especially when we have dinner with my mother in law lol.

school is to teach you how to do all the things you don’t wanna do in life.

I've just started eclectically homeschooling (leaning towards interest based learning) and wonder what you guys think of this?

want to move from the west coast to somewhere with a bit more freedom. having great homeschool communities or even enrichment centers is top priority!

Hey guys,

I’d like to ask you: what has helped you reconnect with your inner child?

I’m fascinated by the concept of unschooling, and as I grow older (22yo), I realize how entangled I’ve become in various concepts and philosophies. Sometimes, I’m disturbed by the learned patterns and inefficiencies in my behavior, and I long to return to a time when my motivation wasn’t shaped by external factors—when I knew what I wanted and could find joy in that journey.

What helps you on your path back to that state?

Thank you.

I want to travel to europe independently, or with a group of other unschooled kids my age. I was wondering if anyone here knew of any traveling programs that arent too expensive, and that meet what I want for my traveling experience. I've heard of these programs in "Teenage Liberation Handbook", which were for volenteer work or apprenticeship. I hope that ya'll could give me some suggestions for international traveling programs for teens that include volenteership in other countries or contitents, thanks!

A friend of mine has been working at a place they refer to as a Free School which seems to use the tenants of unschooling but it is still at a facility. The kids are not forced to do anything they just do what interests them and the School schedules pseudo classes which the kids help pick out. First and foremost they are about autonomy for the kids tho.

This setup of what seems to be unschooling but at a 'school' doesn't seem to be a common combination. Have yall heard about this style of setup before? What do you think about it?

Hello,

I’m currently 23 and was unschooled from ages 12-16 before my parents declared me ‘graduated’. I was in regular school k-6 grade. My younger siblings never went to an actual school and have been unschooled since the start.

Additionally, I met my best friend through an unschooling group, she’s currently 22, with siblings ranging from 18-35, all unschooled.

My education has greatly impacted my quality of life in all aspects. When entering the workforce, it was extremely difficult to understand normal social context, and understand what everyone else already seemed to know about being a human. Additionally, I had extremely advanced reading/writing ability from about 2nd grade. By age 8 I had read most classic literature. However, due to me not desiring to learn math, I never did. Until last year I could not even do long division. Our family had a more structured unschooling approach, with textbooks available, plenty of field trips, and we were encouraged to learn what we were interested in at every turn. But a child still cannot teach themselves or even have a desire to learn something they don’t even know exists. My sister has multiple learning disabilities. Instead of being in a program with trained professionals, she was at home, not learning and always frustrated. She has no math ability beyond basic addition and subtraction and reads/writes at less than a 4th grade level.

My best friend and all of her siblings cannot tell time on an analog clock. They can barely do math, cannot spell or write well, and none of them are able to hold steady jobs. They are so lost and angry at life. Of the unschooling group I mentioned, only one person has been able to successfully live on their own or continue their education, me. We were unschooled to have more time with family, to learn more quality information, and to minimize risk of bullying. Unschooling actually made all of these things even worse.

I started college 3 years ago and have less than 30 credits due to not testing into even the minimum level to take gen Ed classes. 2 years solid I was desperately trying to catch up to a normal high school graduate, and I still barely keep up in my classes. When the recession started gaining traction I simply couldn’t keep up financially working entry level jobs, going to school is hard but it’s the only way I can hope for a financially stable future. If I had been offered more educational opportunity I would be so much better off.

Knowing my parents deprived us of something so fundamental makes it hard for my siblings and those from the unschooling group to have a relationship with our parents. It makes it hard to respect them and believe they really wanted the best for us. It’s a massive wound and extremely hard to fix. We met in this unschooling group and together have been able to support eachother through learning basic principles like writing a professional email and learning what the heck congress is.

I feel that since this group was so large with so much variety in unschooling styles, children’s ages, and family/economic backgrounds, that I have a good grasp on how badly it ruins lives. I now help unschooled kids at my college get the resources they need to continue education and seeing their pain and anguish is gut wrenching.

Please don’t delete. From what I can see this doesn’t break any rules here. I’m sharing my story and the one of the 40+ kids I grew up with now seriously struggling in life. I’m not targeting anyone, and I believe most of you just want to do right by your kids.

Hi all! My name is Ben, I'm a lifelong unschooler and filmmaker! My partner and I have been working on a documentary series about self-directed education, and we just released the first episode! It's about the unschooling program Flying Squads, an urban adventure program for teens. You can watch it here! We would love to hear what you think :)

My son, D, is 11yrs old and will do anything to not do math and at this point I dont even know what he is faking not knowing or what he is just really struggling with. Starting to wonder if he has slow processing speed because he absolutely cannot answer a quick question on the fly and will act confused like he didnt know what you were asking but then give the right answer, like he is stalling for himself if that makes sense.

But math is his nemesis over anything else. And honestly Im not worried about it but my husband thinks that if he cant recite and answer math questions on the fly at 11 years old then we arent doing enough homeschool and he is way behind for his age if he were to be in school, in our school system he would be in 6th grade this year.

I also hate math, I'm AuDHD and have always hated math and just get the basics of multiplication, division, even though I did algebra and trig and all that in highschool and college its like I learned it barely enough for decent (C to B) grades and then now I only use bare minimum for groceries. budgeting, etc and I know its lazy but with phones and all that nowadays I dont see the point in stressing complex math with only mental work instead of using tools but hubby just cant handle this.

Im hoping that as he gets older it will just click somehow and either the initiative to learn on his own will kick in or maybe just some basic processing upgrade will kick in and he will atleast understand the basics better. He does love Minecraft, not sure how much math is involved there as I've never played. He is a twin and his twin G is gifted and a mechanical/engineering prodigy so I also wonder if that affects how hubby sees D because hes comparing him to Mr.Smartypants too so its easy to think he is way way behind when compared to G.

We do Boddle and he doesnt like it but he likes it better than Splashlearn, but are there any other math things that kids love that is gaming but also teaching math in a way he can replicate out of the game so his dad will be satisfied?

Does math kick in later? What should 11 year old kids be able to do without calculators or any assistance nowadays?

**If it matters, the twins were in public school from Pre-K to Fall break of their 4th grade year when we pulled them for D being super anxious over math in school and refusing to even try and always crying about school, big anxiety issues over lots of stuff but math obviously biggest even then**

I couldn't find a way to reply with a picture so I had to make a separate post but I would like people's opinion on this printed family written transcript. I want to go back to school for 12th grade next year and so I printed this out as a preview but I don't know if it will be acceptable. When I went to the school (charter) they told me that they would need grades and since I told them that I'm not grade based, they said that a transcript would suffice. Right now I only have grade 9 since if I want to make grade 10-11, I need positive opinions on it. l've seen sites of unschooling where parents would make and print out transcripts and so I took inspiration on that but I just feel like it's not valid/official in some way, of course I'll have my parents sign it but I just don't know if it's good enough. But other than that, hopefully it doesn't cause any consequence.

I’d like to create a thread of resources recommended by unschoolers that visitors to this sub can use as a starting point for research and enrichment.

What are some of your go-to resources for unschooling? What texts are in your library? Favorite blogs, websites, and podcasts? Which authors and speakers do you favor and why, and which do you have criticisms of/concerns about?

Self promotion included, but please identify it as such.

She's 16 and In 11th grade. Was failing in public school. We just started homeschooling and are using a curriculum (miaprep). I don't think it's going to work out. She hates school. We suspect she has adhd and she is wanting to be evaluated soon. She is into art and music. She considers herself to be in the lgbtq+ community. And this is a huge topic of interest. She chooses graphic novels to read that showcase these relationships. Has no interest in being told what to do. I think unschooling is the way to go for her, but I have absolutely no clue how to approach this model of learning. She has no motivation and doesn't know what she wants to do in adulthood. She is not college-bound at this moment, though I'd love for that option to remain open for her if she changes her mind. I don't care of she goes to college or not, but I care that she does SOMETHING.
I've tried to get her going with a small business but she hasn't dedicated enough time to figuring out a product or if she'd like to go this route.
Idk how to go about this and I obviously want my child to be successful in life. I want to make math and reading/ writing a priority and drop everything else to allow her time to explore her interests. Any and all advice , suggestions, resources would be greatly appreciated. I homeschool my 8th grade son as well. His only interest ATM is gaming lol. So we're sticking to a curriculum for now and finding other interests. I give him plenty of opportunity to game after his work is completed. Thanks in advance if you've read this far!

So we took the leap this year with unschooling. I’m surprise the amount of times I find my 11 year old doing what I consider school stuff - video about something educational then excitedly telling me about it, playing Scratch, playing board game or educational games with his brothers. I thought the moment I told him that it isn’t “school time” that he would be watching random YouTube videos. This unschooling is working!!

How would I get my unschool transcripts? I’ve contacted the unschool program that I’m currently in and sent them a help request regarding the transcripts but I got no response yet. I was thinking of building my own transcripts but wouldn’t that be unofficial? I don’t want to make it seem that way because I’m thinking of going back to school. I’m located in Texas and the school I’m going towards to is a charter school and I’m going to ask later what requirements would there be for me to be admitted there since I have no idea. My curriculum that I took was from workbooks that include every subject I need but how would I input that in a transcript? What kind of template would be/look official?

I’m interested in hearing from parents who unschool some or any of their children. What does that look like? What makes/made it the right choice for some but not all of your kids? How have your children’s learning journeys evolved?

Hey,

I'm 32 and was unschooled for 1 year as a kid. I kind of unschooled myself for much of my 20s, often seeking adventure, following curiosity, and life experience over college and stable jobs. At the end of my 20s my focus changed to deeply appreciate society and start experimenting with finding my sweet zone, living within society but feeling free and interested in life. I really appreciate the holistic perspective that many Unschoolers have, understanding ourselves as working within society but keeping our values as primal natural beings priority, and using critical thinking to pick and choose what parts are pertinent to us personally, from society's loudest prescriptions.

I don't have kids and haven't considered kids in my lifetime. So I'm curious, what are ways I can find similar communities where people think in Unschooling type ways, but the focus isn't on parenting children?

Thanks for reading :)

Eclectic unschoolers, how do you apply unschooling principles to your methodology?

What are some ideas and tips for adding unschooling principles to other educational models? Do you have resources to share with other parents hoping to do the same?

What are some unschooling methods that the uninitiated might not associate with unschooling or that they do not realize that unschoolers do?

What is some good advice that you have received or read about unschooling?

What are some unschooling practices that have not worked for you and why?

I feel like a failure. I don’t know where to begin, I’m 16 and have been unschooled since 9th grade, I’m in 11th currently. As a matter of fact I don’t even know if I’m in 11th because of the severity of the situation. To start off I started unschooling because of social anxiety, I’ve had it since elementary and has not been fixed. When I got out of school to do unschooling I felt happy because I didn’t have to socialize and wake up early. But stupidly enough of me I didn’t do anything at all these two years, a few months ago I have finally realized and asked myself what am I doing? I want to be something in life but how can I when I slacked off? I started doing khan academy but I’m worried because I want to go to college and I have no idea if they’re going to ask for proof of work of 9-10th grade. I feel lost so lost, I wish my mom had chosen curriculum you know, where you get your classes assigned and do my work. But it’s so complicated because I don’t know where to start off and I can’t tell if I’m behind subjects (clearly I am) and I wish my mom would’ve told me to take it serious or pushed me to work but no she didn’t tell me anything which caused me to be lazy and slack off. I wish I had gotten the discipline to do my work but at this point I don’t know what to do. I have done my research and I still feel so lost. But I don’t blame my mom, I as a person should’ve been responsible for my work. In all honesty I get my mom, she took me out of school because of my mental health and because of hers, she stressed everyday waking up taking me and my siblings to school and that finally ended. But I wish I could go back, at least for my senior year but she will disagree, and I totally understand. What do I do? How can I be successful in life? I’m thinking of dual enrollment but what kind of test will be presented to me? How can I study for it? And the SAT. Please help.

Interested in hearing unschool practitioners’ practical application of strewing—there has been a bit of discussion here lately about “what exactly do unschool parents do,” and strewing is a tangible action that can illustrate that.

So what are some of your strewing successes? What are some flops or funny stories?

What are your tips and tricks or questions for others on best practices?

For those unfamiliar with this unschooling tactic, strewing is the act of deliberately and strategically leaving materials in the path of a child to introduce them to or engage interest in a subject.

This can even be expanded to locations—going places that will spark an interest in your child like scientific or historic sites or other “field trips.”

I have struggled sometimes with concern over being manipulative in making my child think they “discovered” things that were planted, but I eventually came to view strewing as part of an overall orchestration and curation of a learning environment.

I have also found that strewing gets more difficult as children mature and gain cognizance of the “man behind the curtain,” so to speak.

I don't know how I missed this in 2020 but Merlin Sheldrake's Entangled Life is being broadcast on BBC Radio 4 Extra at the moment. The episode broadcast today (which is available on BBC sounds) included an anecdote in which Merlin expressed an interest as a child about how leaves disappeared in the autumn after they fell to the ground and he and his father did an experiment in a bottle, with layers of earth and leaves and some earthworms. The ideas that arose as the result of this experiment informed the path he took (to condense a much more elegant telling of the story).

It encapsulates the philosophy of unschooling in one anecdote, and his hypnotically listenable voice and the music of his brother Cosmo, is a whole which I think any unschooling family might enjoy. BBC radio programmes are available online for free in many countries except a handful where it is blocked. Some programmes may not be available due to rights issues (mainly sports programmes I think) and i sincerely hope this isn't one of those - it's wonderful.