Long, but comprehensive & caring.

Helping a veteran friend who’s like my Auntie unfuck her house for a few weeks now, so she can finally move away from the heat of AZ (that’s bad for her health), and I’m almost done! The end of the miscellaneous boxes is almost near!

Here’s the circumstances & how I approached them:

• house full of boxes and furniture in complete disarray because they quickly packed and moved everything out of the way to pull out the floors, and have all the walls painted to sell the house

• some boxes logically filled with like things of all kitchen stuff, or family photos; but some boxes are complete random wtf family heirlooms with kitchen and office and literal junk (packed by auntie’s friend who means well, and has helped tremendously since auntie isn’t able, but she isn’t the most organized person, and had limited time before construction, so she did the best she could and is totally forgiven)

• boxes from when auntie lived in lots of fun different places around the world (active military & after), boxes from her late mother, and her late husband, and sister, and the old lady who lived here before.

• organizing is my best skill, which I was a little sad about when I was younger because it’s not an exciting skill like singing or astrophysics, but I’ve learned different fun uses of my organization, like producing films, and event planning; and I’m always happy to help with a worthy mission; plus I’ve never been to this part of the country before, so I thought of it as a fun adventure of organizing a whole house in a far off mysterious land.

Here’s how I unfucked it all:

First things first, clear out one corner or closet, or already mostly empty space in one room to make your special keepers spot. Preferably a room or closet close to where you’ll load / move from, but out of sight, so potential buyers of the “for sale” items don’t see / want / be obnoxious about things that are not for sale, because they are special keepers. Maybe it starts with a small closet or corner, and as you get through more of the house it moves to larger spot, don’t fret about moving the keepers spot more than once, just be happy that it’s all sorted & ready to go.

Next clean out a spot that’s easily accessible for guests to make the “for sale” spot, I designated the garage, and cleaned off the good keep metal shelves that were in different spots of the house to put down the one wall of the garage instead, to put all the garage sale stuff on, and moved all the keep or miscellaneous stuff out of the garage to sort later. You don’t have to go this far yet of moving all non-sale out yet, or moving shelves, that’s just what I was able to do with the space and things I was given. If all you can do for now is make a lil 4x4 spot designated “for sale” boxes, start there and that’s still a huge win to know that it has a spot. Don’t fret! You’ll get there!

The next step is the hardest, but you’ll feel so much better when it’s done. Trash, Laundry, and Dishes. Apologies to your power bill, water bill, and garbage professionals, but you just gotta keep those appliances (hoping you have my favorite invention ever: a dishwasher) running until it’s all done; because it HAS to be washed before getting packed or sold/donated, and it makes a world of difference to not have those 3 things all over the house as you begin to sort more fun things like collectibles or something you love.

As you go through each room clean up & take pics of the big ticket or larger for sale furniture items to put online. Those items go to the sale spot in the house & immediately listed for sale online to get a head start on getting things out of there to make more room, and everything else gets sorted into categories.

To make sorting into categories easier, put boxes around a big table or comfy chair for things of common categories like “keep sewing” or “keep office supplies” or “keep kitchen” or “sale” etc. so when you do get a super random box of everything, it’s easier to sort into the nearby categories. Some keeper delicate things will need to be repacked later before you tape the boxes closed, but at least you know they’re all keepers of a certain type. & Have a big garbage nearby and extra (preferably crappy non-shippable) boxes to put the garage sale stuff in. & I like to sharpie marker the inside of the box flaps of the top so it’s easier for everyone to see what’s in it.

Also recommend sorting everything by general categories before sorting keep / sell / donate. Example: get ALL the shoes together before you sort which ones are to keep, so you know you keep enough formal or casual or which colors or whatever. Same applies to kitchen, and crafts, and everything else like the 5 vacuums. So yes, generally sort into types before you sort what’s to keep, UNLESS you have an emotional reaction to something in one way or the other love/hate, and then immediately put that item in keep or trash.

& yeah it’ll be emotional!!!! She keeps thanking me for helping because I’m impartial to the emotional attachments to the things, and I keep asking her if it’s worth the truck space?, and could we thrift a similar one where she’s moving?, or is it sentimental?, and it’s helping her to let go of a lot of things, or as she puts it “give it’s a lil kiss and thank it for its time and memories before it finds a new home”. And also there’s a lot of emotions of things that she hasn’t seen in years, like her mom’s photo albums, or a painting by Koko the Gorilla that she hasn’t seen in years and thought was lost, nope, I found it in a cupboard in the garage behind a box. I can’t blame her for crying when she saw it again. It was a lot of emotions of knowing that it’s not lost forever, and WTF?! why was it in the garage when I last saw it in the dining room where I was gonna hang it? So yeah, I try to space out emotional boxes for her to sort because I know they need a lil extra time, love, and an easy one like fun shoes or something happy to lighten the mood after, or a break.

& breaks are great! Take them. Play an app game or watch silly videos for 30min & chill before you go back to your brain trying to organize everything & moving around furniture and boxes, your brain and back and knees will thank you for the time out.

If you’re getting a moving van / cube / car topper, measure out a spot somewhere of that square footage & start a pile there to see how much you’re actually moving so you can easily see if it’s too much. & I recommend labeling all the keep boxes color coded rainbow heavy (books) purple at the bottom and red (fragile / do not smush) for the top. Crayons on all the corners, purple at the bottom & work your color way up the rainbow to red at the top corners of the boxes so you don’t smush something important, and it’s easy to load.

Sell big furniture & collectibles online. Facebook marketplace local for furniture and big stuff, but collectibles to a trusted source elsewhere depending on the niche, or maybe eBay and offer shipping to get more money, which might take lots of time.

Garage sale. Don’t expect much. Everyone is downsizing so what it would have got at a similar sale 10-20 years ago is not what it’ll sell for today. Honestly consider anything sold at a garage sale as a bonus extra, and whatever doesn’t sell after two weeks should get donated, or listed for $1-5 online so someone gets a deal & they’ll actually use it. So don’t stress too much about dragging everything outside; keep it simple and accessible, and advertise free on Facebook local sell groups and craigslist.

When you get overwhelmed, which will totally happen when going through a whole house, stop and take a look at the two clean corners of keepers and sale stuff, and how much bigger they’re getting, and be happy with the progress, and know that the rest can get they way too if you just keep moving.

& speaking of keep moving, this past month we’ve had the fun background noise of fun new albums playing in the garage, and Star Trek Deep Space 9 rewatch on the tv in the house, since it’s our comfort show that we don’t have to pay attention to since we’ve seen it so many times, and is fun to chat about to lighten the mood of the frustration of the misc boxes of: why is the huge heavy mortar and pestle in a box of electronics?!? Helps to laugh it off, or bust out singing like you’re in a musical. Being pissed about it is only going to ruin part of your day, and laughing it off of belting out a musical which makes you laugh, it’s a great peaceful release that is scientifically proven to make most brains happier.

Hopefully a little of this helped you find a way to approach your unique situation.

Best of luck to you all, and if you need a second opinion or more specific organizing advice, message me, I’m happy to help.

If you’ve read this far, Digital Hugs from the one and only - Liz Copic

4 bags of dirt dead plants and tree leaves gone . My 11 yo boy helped!

Hi...

First time poster here but I am at a crossroads and really want to see what someone outside of my family and friend circle thinks. Sorry...kind-of an involved story.

My husband and I got married and chose to remain near his parents because they are older and he took care of a lot for them. My husband's health faced some serious challenges and I ended up becoming more of a caregiver than a wife just one year into our marriage. Our sex life became non-existent and I started shopping because I was bored and depressed and was looking for anything I could do to bring some joy into my life. Now, my house is a nightmare and I understand why I created this (literal) mess...and I want to start to unfuck this home and move forward with my life.

My husband's health has stabilized, but his Dad unfortunately passed in September last year. My husband had moved in with his parents shortly before his Dad passed, and stayed initially to sort his Dad's affairs....but his lack of progress over the last seven months feels like he just doesn't want to move home. To put it into perspective, Mom's house is less than five miles from our home...so it's not like a cross-country trip. The reality is that Mom shouldn't be living alone and my husband is so enmeshed that he won't bring up in-home care or assisted living and seems to be planning to just live with her for the rest of her days. While he tells me how much he loves and misses me, his lack of action to do ANYTHING to take a step towards moving home is telling.

So, I have spent several months basically grieving my marriage and continuing to fuck up my disaster area of a home...and now I feel like I'm at a crossroads. I am ashamed to admit this, but I can't even use my own kitchen because there's so much shit (mostly clothes) everywhere. I want to change and reclaim my house!!!!! But...do I do it without my absentee husband, who has promised me for years we'd tackle it together? And what do I do with his things?

I am stuck. I'm afraid to mention the "D" word (divorce) but I also know I deserve better than this.

I need guidance!

My place is a mess right now. I currently live alone and have health problems that cause fatigue, pain, and headaches (hEDS) among other issues. I managed it alright during college due to short commutes, some classes being online, and hybrid work. I also had awesome roommates for most of college - great people and some of my best friends. I confess I did do things like take naps during the middle of the day and do laundry and other chores while at work/online class.

Now I have an hour long commute each way to an office on my bike+transit and a boss who has it out for me, and the exhaustion of this existence leaves me too tired to do anything after work, and too tired to do much besides sleep on the weekends. Plus my cat has been peeing on things because he’s upset that I’m gone at work all day. I can barely muster the energy for clean clothes, much less cleaning cat pee off all sorts of stuff.

I know I shouldn’t feel bad because I can’t help my health problems, but nevertheless I still feel shame at the state of my place and worse than the shame is just how gross and stressful it is.

Anyway, hoping someone has some advice. I’m currently using what little energy I have right now to job hunt for jobs that are hybrid and have better management so that way a clean home is more tenable, but things are slow in this job market. I really would like to have a place that’s not a pigsty in the interim.

I’d take a day off, but I don’t have any available because I’ve had to take off for pain and fatigue recently. I’ve considered asking for unpaid time off, but I don’t want to give my boss another reason to can me, like excessive time off.

I would like to be productive tomorrow, but fear I won’t have the energy

Sorry if this post comes across as negative. I’m not depressed so much as at a loss as to what to do - I have the desire, no motivation issues, but not the literal energy. Every time I power through the fatigue and make progress, the even more intense fatigue that follows causes me to be too tired to maintain the progress.

Any tips for breaking out of this awful cycle? I worry the only fix will be me getting a better job.

Hey all. Wondering how to kick my own ass and stay accountable ? I deep clean and get everything beautiful only for a week later for it to be chaos again. And the cycle continues.

How the heck do I “put it away not put it down”

Like I know that if I just clean as I go, or keep things where they belong it wouldn’t get bad But I seem to lack accountability ?

Even though it bothers me and I want it to be clean and tidy my actions and my thoughts just don’t line up.

I have unmedicated adhd and I just end up mindlessly piling things up again

How do I break this cycle of deep cleaning, messing it up, and needing to deep clean again? 😭

I have tonight off, and my roommate works tonight. I have a long list of chores that need to be done. However, I can get the most important ones done in about an hour (maybe an hour and a half). If I finish the following chores, I will consider my cleaning a success.

1. Vacuuming
2. Shampooing the carpet in a couple of areas
3. Clean out the fridge
4. Put new sheets on my bed
5. Gather laundry and pretreat any stains
6. Dishes
7. Fold laundry
8. Deep Clean Litter Box

UPDATE: I used Focusmate and my mate studied and I busted ass on my kitchen. Thank you for the suggestion!

Any one up to body double safely ? I mean safely? Seriously have sooo much to do

Hi! Are you looking for a body double? Looking for cleaning tips?

Well...I present you the Cleaning Sesh Discord! I try to host a regular cleaning session when I can, but members are able to host as well! <3

​

https://discord.gg/uu24AzXR

Can't find anything I'm looking for. There's a lot of stuff in that pile. Any encouragement would be appreciated.

So, I am constantly fucking up my room then doing a binge unfuck. I live at home and I hate cleaning when other people are around. I was the classic messy sibling and got crap for when things were messy and would be made fun of for cleaning, so I guess down the line I just figured I would just stay messy and only clean once I started breaking things on accident by stepping on them or spilling them off a counter.

I'm tired of this, and tired of feeling afraid of people commenting on the fact I'm cleaning "for once". Do any of you have a similar experience and how did you therapize yourself out of it?

I need to clean my room as well as the upstairs which has my room, the living room and kitchen. I don't know where to start. im having a guest over tomorrow and I get really anxious over having people over and making sure everything looks ok.

my room and living room is just mainly cluttered, im just trying to find the motivation of where to start😭. im going to work on my room first for sure, im just wondering if anyone has any suggestions or ideas!!! I know I don't have pictures so it is hard to know exactly what to recommend, but maybe you guys have an order in which you like to declutter/clean up? thank you!

Thank you all for so much encouragement on my last post! I’ve made some slow progress since, and wanted to update y’all. I know it doesn’t look like much, but dang does it feel good!

For most of the last few weeks, I’ve been stuck with the same two loads of laundry being worn & washed, and haven’t had enough coins (ugh @ coin-op laundry) or time outside of work & other chores to power through the pile of non-essential items. Today, I made some progress and did 3 whole loads of laundry, as well as an entire load of just towels!

Tomorrow I plan to do a bit more closet organizing & perhaps one more load of laundry.

It feels so good to be getting this project tackled. I’m excited for everything in the closet & dressers to be organized and more put together too!