RULES

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TLDR: My cousin sexually assaulted me and my sister as a child and I want to ask him why he did it for my own mental relief.

I’m Indian American (20F) but I used to visit India very regularly as a kid. This particular incident occurred right after my maternal grandfather passed away and we were staying at my paternal uncle’s house during the meantime. When I was 7, my sister was 4, and he was 12-13 he sexually assaulted me and my sister in the pretext of playing a game called “Couples”. He kissed both me and my sister on the lips and then proceeded to grope and SA me first and then SA my sister. He grinded his dick on her and hugged+ touch her in a very creepy way. As a child, I had no clue of what was going on but I knew in the back of my head it was very wrong. As I grew older, I realized what he was doing and wasn’t sure on what to do. I’m very pissed I wasn’t able to defend my younger sister and didn’t know why I wasn’t able to even say something more than “can we stop”. I can’t recall anything else or if my memory of anything else happening was blocked. Should I confront him on this?

I told my parents but with very limited details back then but it’s been pulling at me to ask him. I don’t know how my extended family will react or if they will accuse me of lying. But I have no reason to lie, no skin in the game as I’m thousands of miles away from him.

Apps like Bumble do have option of BFF or networking mode, but let's be honest, they're infiltrated by men slyly wanting more than that. Moreover, there will be so many male profiles marked "female". Women here have shared desire to have more female friends irl but there's seldom any tools to make that happen if you're a homebody or an introvert. An app like Bumble/Hinge purely for feminist females would be a delight. I precisely said feminist because in a society that's inherently patriarchal, we need feminist camaraderie to subconsciously unlearn things like internalised misogyny. Basically, a safe space. Moreover, I perceive feminist women to be girl's girl. I see so many strong willed & resilient women on this sub, why not see them irl?

i've been wanting to start it for a while now, wanted to know everyone's experience

I feel scared about the state of affairs in the world right now. A rapist winning the most powerful nation's election. Women's rights are taking a setback. We are seeing a slew of insensitive comments in the world from men and women, but especially from men. Nearly half a century ago, we fought for voting rights, equal representation in professional and domestic sphere. I am feeling like we are taking a backseat in these affairs.

A rapist winning an election conveys a message across the world. It says that a man can rape and get away with it and even go on to become the most powerful person. It doesn't matter, as he is above the law. And so many instances in our own very country, where politicians are getting away with rape charges. Or worse, they never get convicted.

So many women are raped, consider what would happen if that number applied to men. They would be so enraged they would never have a woman have a say in their life if she was the perpetrator. If men were subjected to the abuse that we are with, they would make a hue and cry and come in solidarity of their suffering. If men were to bear children, they would have abortion left and right and abortion as a healthcare would never be questioned. If men were to labor and be the primary caregiver, they would be so tired of women!

I am starting to swear off men slowly. They cannot have a place in my life when they are so inhumane. This of course arises from of my own set of experience with hookups, dating, fwb and male friendships. Few years ago, I was manipulated into having unprotected sex and then was forced to take Plan B (emergency contraceptive). Don't want children, but at least follow the protocol, i.e. having protected sex. You enjoy the whole act, come twice and thrice but want me to go through the pain afterward. Birth control alters your state of mood and induces period and it's painful. And well if i didn't have that option, then there high chances of me being pregnant. A couple more instances of hookups made me realise that men are ONLY looking out for their pleasure in casual sex. Sensible people are almost non-existent even in situationships and fwbs. I have since give up on hookups. In friendships, in guise of a friend, they would want more. Hence, dissolving the entire concept of a friendship.

Least to say, men my age have been disgusting (i'm in my mid-twenties). They are immature and largely condescending and tend to go to whatever lengths to satisfy their egos. A couple of men have been good but lord, when i compare the number to the women in my life, i tell you, it is in the ratio 1:10. There are 10 AMAZING women in my life in comparison to one man!

The next few decades of my life, i figured, will be majorly spent with women by my side or wherever they are. They are the purest form of friendships without the hint of any malice. I want women to rule this world to show what love and friendship is to men. But sadly, majority of the world would not want that. They are content in their disgrace and torment. I wish men would reflect on their hateful behaviour, but sadly it is too late. At least for my lifetime, i feel safe with women in life. Ready to be an ascetic instead of interacting with maliciously-motivated men.

Signing off,

stay safe.

Drop your best advice/trick you've learnt in your acne free journey. :)

I am a B.com graduate and pursuing CA. After a lot of introspection, I have concluded that I would rather get my hands dirty than working a desk job. I really want to make an effort to make this world better.

If there are any volunteering jobs I could find in NGOs or any other social organisations, I would be grateful. If there is anything you know about how I can do this, please let me know.

a cousin of mine is coming from the US next month and is insisting on getting some gifts from there. i was thinking of getting some makeup from companies like rare beauty, glosier, lanaige, huda, nyx, fenty etc etc

since i cannot go and swatch blushes or foundations i think eyeshadow pallets or lip oil/mask would be a safer bet.

please rec some good eyeshadow pallets with some variety and/or with multichrome ( i love love multichrome). for context i am pretty fair with brown eyes and in collage. let me know some good lip oils aswell!
if you have any suggestion about what else i can get from there, plese help a girl out!
thanks in advance<3
xoxo

I used to wear S/M in tops and now I have to buy L/XL. I compared my older tops that are S and they're literally bigger than the ones I have now that are labeled XL! Is this because of crop tops? Some of the S tops I see in stores look so ridiculously small I'm baffled that they fit adult women. Tell me it's not just me.

Need to sell a pair of shoes which I bought but had no luck and after 1hour of using it ,I started getting blisters and it’s not my size at all so thinking of selling it in olx..

Hey y’all, I recently learnt about supplements for micronutrients and now I am really looking forward to try it. Can y’all suggest me the brand of supplements you are taking and for what it is? I am 22 and do y’all think it’s okay for a 22 year old to take or is it too soon?

So I’m a teen and have never shaved down there before but recently bought the furr bikini line razor. Is it good? I would prefer a smooth shave but I’m scared to use anything except a bikini razor there.

I am a very naive person. Many people have mentioned this to me. I really want to stop being so naive. I am also socially awkward so it makes me vulnerable to other people taking advantage of me.

i want to wake up one day in a world where, we women support each other and not see each other as a competition, everyday i hear atleast one bad news, death, rape, sexual harassment, sexual abuse, domestic violence, etc. everyday i atleast read one post where they try to tear that women down, be it actress , influencers or just normal people. i want to be free, i want to feel safe, i want to be able to go for a run or a walk whenever i want to without being scared of being harassed. just being able to be myself, make my own decisions and not be bounded by responsibilities. if i want to do something i don't want to answer why. i would want to hear how i can achieve what i want to. just wished for one friend with who i can just be free but everytime i told myself it will be okay and i will find good friends and life will turn out to be okay it only got worse. am i just really that bad? i cannot help but doubt myself. i am too fat, too chubby, too short, not pretty. insecurities are just increasing and not decreasing. what should i do? how can i love myself? if i cannot love myself atleast how to not hate myself for who i am, how do i stop comparing myself to other woman out there, i am not jealous but somehow i still wish i was her. why are we constantly put down? why are people out there just trying to drag women down?

my period hasn’t come yet ( 12 Days late ) but I’ve take a few of pregnancy tests and they came out negative. (I used two different brands as well)

If someone can explain why I would have a late/missed period let me know. This is more so just comfort to hear other people’s points of view. Any response helps. Thank you!

I'm going to leave for higher education next year...I have never stayed away from home...the idea of managing everything on my own is very unfamiliar to me...my family do adore me...takes care of my everything... when I'm upset even a little bit..they can see it on my face... can't see me drop even a single tear....they provide me with everything I need..when I'm studying my mom brings me fruits.. juices..tea to my study table so I don't have to get up in the middle of my study session...my brother takes me out for shopping... and relaxation..he taught me cycling when I was a kid....this year he taught me how to ride motorcycle.. I'm just beyond grateful to my parents and brother...my father is the best man he loves me so much.... since last few days I wasn't sleeping on time..so he got worried about my health and asked If everything is okay with me is my health alright or is something bothering me..he asked me to let him know... Even though they never forced me into kitchen or household chores as my education has always been their first priority...they made me capable enough to take care of myself....they taught me how to cook.. clean and look after myself and others as well... so I'm not dependent on them by that means ... but after keeping me with them since birth and spoiling me with their love they expect me to now start living on my own without their constant presence...🥹 It makes me so sad...I cried for 2 hrs in my mom's arms...she consoled me...and said "that's part of life you have to move forward in your new phase of life..we will come to visit you frequently and you will come to meet us as well.... there is nothing to worry about...even if I won't be present due to distance God is gonna take care of you " It made me cry even moreee....I have got swollen eyes and face because of crying.... And this another thought came to my mind will my partner in future love me as much as my parents do love me...I wish I won't miss my parents this much in his presence....

Girls who went through this how you managed it give me some insights...how you thrived well after leaving your home for education/jobs/marriage.. what helped you and what advice would you give me so I can handle this emotional turmoil better... Thank you I will appreciate your kind help...

Drop in your hacks that require minimal effort but make you look put together :)

How can I reduce existing tan and prevent it from occurring in the future?

ps: I’m in college and often exposed to the sun, but I consistently wear sunscreen every day.

Please tell me. I can’t seem to find a good sunscreen that isn’t too greasy.

I just read a horrifying case of gang rape in Delhi, and it’s beyond disturbing. One of the accused is a physically disabled beggar with no legs, and they targeted the victim because they thought she was mentally challenged,but she wasn’t, she had been working in research for the past 8 years.

What’s even more shocking is that these men didn’t even know each other yet somehow they came together for this horrific act. They attacked her in a moving auto-rickshaw, driven by one of the accused.

As a woman who often relies on auto-rickshaws in Delhi because I feel they’re a safer option, this incident has shaken me. It makes me question if there’s any way to truly protect ourselves when seemingly ordinary people around us might be hiding such violent intentions.

This is incredibly sad and disheartening. How do we even begin to feel safe?

Open this link to see those three men who carried out this gruesome crime-

https://www.reddit.com/r/delhi/s/VvIUYO7ANQ

Edit- She was found by an army officer at 3:15 am partially clothed who informed the police. Delhi police played a good role in discovering those accusers by playing undercover cops as hospital staff to take information from the victim which helped in investigation.

Hi ladies

28F here with a WFH job. I am from a small town in TN and been working from home since COVID. It's been so difficult asking my family members to respect my work boundaries as they expect me to help them with some work at random times of tte day. Also, there is a lot of fight (hurling abuses) between my parents and my grandma. This is affecting me a lot. My sibling studies in a different city. My friends have been asking me to move out and live alone. While my office is in Blr, is it a good idea to move to Chennai as most of my friends are there? Also, I am looking to date since arranged marriage isn't working and I am childfree. So staying in hometown doesn't help in this matter. Everytime I think of moving out, I give up . Recently also I made a gold purchase so short of funds to move out for couple of months. Similarly my parents somehow make me do these big investments and I end up having no money to move out

Please pour your suggestions.

hi

this is going to be long maybe so please bear with me.

earlier this year my bf and i tried to have sex for the first time. we're both virgins. he was not able to insert his penis in me and that really freaked me out but we chalked it up to lack of enough lubrication/foreplay. we did not try again for a couple of weeks i guess and when we did, still no success. so we stopped and then long distance began once again and it's been 5 months.

however, slowly, with fingering, my bf was easily able to insert two fingers without me even realising when i was really turned on. (even im able to get two fingers in w some discomfort when im not turned on) but idk the whole thing has made me very anxious. i feel like ill never be able to have sex. i read up about a lot of people's experiences w having piv sex for the first time and majority of the responses said it was difficult during the first couple of times.

now i dont know if this is vaginismus or just a mental block. if it is just a mental block how do i get over it? a lot of people say to relax but i can't shake this feeling that whenever ill try to have sex in the future, it won't be possible. so idk how to relax or go about it. im really really attracted to my bf, fully comfortable around him and w the idea of having sex and i really do want to have sex the next time we see each other.

i don't know how to go about it. im a student i don't have the resources to get medically diagnosed. has anyone ever dealt with this? please let me know how you fixed it. any ideas, suggestions, advice is welcome. please help a girl out!

Currently I am using very old macbook pro. I bought it in 2016, need to buy a new one for work. I am confused between macbook air m1 and m2 not sure what the difference is or if I should get any other laptop. Help this girlie out, I am not very techsavy🥹

Yesterday my phone was snatched from my hand in an eriksha in Delhi, it had my aadhar card linked sim, my biometrics are locked so i cannot access it anymore. I cannot get my sim replaced from anywhere. I have read that even for my phone number change they need my finger print scan in Adhar Seva Kendra. They won't be able to access it over there and it will become a deadlock. How can i solve this issue? Has anyone faced this issue? Please give me a solution, I am panicking so much.

When I wake up in my room all alone I feel everything is quiet and lonely. How to get over that feeling and keep myself busy? How do ladies who live alone keep yourself happy and busy? I know we can go out and everything (and I do) but it's the first few hours after waking up where everything is quiet and lonely and I don't know what to do. How do you guys handle being on your own?

Is it too much to ask for calm, respectful driving lessons without every mistake being met with yelling or teasing? Even when I'm not in the car, this one teacher I have will make weird creepy comments and ask me unnecessary questions. I'm so tired we have to put up with this shit. This in turn affects my concentration. Mind you, this is the second driving school I've been in. The first time, I had two young men teaching me and they asked me what my CASTE was. Told me people on the road were staring when I drove because I was "too pretty" (who fucking asked?). When I denied this, he said he understood 'male psychology' better than I did. What's worse is, I'm too tired to even out up a fight at this point, I just want to learn and leave without further putting myself and my mental health at risk. This experience is better than the first one, so might as well get it over with. I hate that I have to think of it this way but yeah. The last thing I want is for them to take out more anger on me and be weird and affect my chances of passing my test. They need AI driving instructors that will guard us from these weird men. I WANT ONE NOW.

This is my first time posting in here , sorry for all the mistakes.

I was recently diagnosed with a UTI after experiencing high fever, body aches, and a constant urge to urinate for the past few days. Previously, I had been treating recurring fevers with paracetamol, thinking it was just a viral infection due to my weak immunity. This time, my mom took me to the doctor, who confirmed the UTI through tests and prescribed a 5-day course of antibiotics. While I don’t have a burning sensation while urinating (which is normal for me), I’ve been experiencing frequent white discharge, along with continuous fever and chills. The doctor advised me to follow up if my symptoms don't improve.

Please help your sister out with this , what precautions should I take to avoid it in future.

So I was travelling alone (overnight train journey) and this old creepy uncle was staring continuously making me very uneasy. After a point it pissed me off and I raised my voice and asked him “aapki problem kya hai? Ghoor kyu rahe hain?” (What’s your problem? What are you staring?) And kept looking at him till he looked away. That actually worked. People around looked at him and he looked away uncomfortably. Drew his curtains and slept.

So haven’t done this before but I feel so good raising my voice for myself. Speak up girls!

I am confused in some career planning and want to learn about experiences, especially of women who worked in India for 1-3 years and then went abroad for Masters.

I am in my final year of BTech, Branch: Computers, College Tier 3, I have been placed in ICICI bank as a Software Engineer, so experiences from this background will be very helpful!

I’m specifically looking to understand:

How work experience impacted your admissions, job prospects, and learning experience in the program.

Was it challenging to return to academics after working?

Are there any hidden pros or cons to getting a master’s with vs. without experience?

Did having work experience make it easier to secure a job after completing your master’s?

Also, what would you recommend for me? (considering the job scenario right now, and the scenarios in US or Europe)

Thank you!

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