Hello all! Question. If you were to ever find a counselor or coach who specializes in twin loss grief bereavement, what kinds of issues or support would you ask them for? I'm a twinless twin of 24 years and there has been a lot I have dealt with, but am curious as to what others seek when it comes to seeking professional help. Thanks!

a few days ago, my mom revealed to me that i was meant to be a twin, but my brother didn't make it. im a month out from 23 years old now, and i feel like things just finally made sense. i have clarity and understanding, but the void is bigger than ever and the grief feels all-consuming, and i don't know how to grapple with it.

ive always longed for a twin, maybe more than the average kid does, im not sure. it was a weird fixation i had for a long time, but i just assumed i liked the novelty of it. but what really gets me is ive asked my mom for a brother every month since i could talk, basically. i feel bad about that now, knowing i did have one and ive just been bringing up that grief to my mom for years, however it also feels very comforting? like, i had no idea i had a twin brother, and yet, this whole time ive been asking for one—almost like the time we spent together in the womb is somewhere deep in my subconscious, the memories & the grief of losing him before we even really met. my mom and sister both agreed with my thought process, but this is still a devastating loss and i wouldn't dream of bringing it up again, it just doesn't feel right. i didn't know he even existed until this week, and inserting myself into the loss feels wrong. but god, i feel so empty.

i think ive always felt that way—lonely in a way i can't put into words. but, this. this is too much. i haven't felt grief like this before. ive lost so much family in the last couple of years, but it doesn't even compare, as guilty as that makes me feel. and rationally, i know it's bc it's easier to grieve what you had and lost than what could've been, but i can't help feeling awful about it. he just seems like the missing piece to a puzzle i didn't know i was solving, but the piece is missing and the puzzle is incomplete, and there's nothing i can do to change that.

i just wish i knew how to process this, i guess. it's weird, and my chest hurts, and i want to cry, and i just keep hoping i wake up in some alternate life where he survived, and life made sense.

Do other twin-less twins ever talk to your twin even though they are no longer on earth? Like in your head while doing every day things as if they were still here? I think about my twin from the moment I wake up til the moment I fall asleep. Is this normal? This grief is heavy.

Wasn't ever looking for this. I wouldn't say I need support but I could be here to support and I have been really in touch with the whole topic my whole life. I'm a twin, my older brother twin died six days after birth. Lot of crazy things about it. So I'm just going to share one thing and ask you guys if you have encountered this. This is pretty f****** cool. I've always been interested in studying this and just seeing if we maybe have like special powers in a essence or something LOL.

So when I was in school I met three sets of twins. Two of those sets became my best friends. The first ones were elementary to Middle School. Then I moved schools and it was end of middle school all the way through high school until now present. So here's the deal that I think is pretty crazy.

I always met one twin and had no idea that they were a twin at all we would talk for like a few days this was like at the start of a class or whatever. Hadn't previously seen him around or anything like that. And we'd click and we decide to hang out more and then I would meet the other twin and find out that they were twin later on. But we were already like locked in tight you know already making plans to chill and stuff like that. Just always thought it was crazy my parents really thought that was crazy

Ok, so I’ve got quite a lot I could go into about me growing up and inexplicably feeling ‘twinless’. At 17 I learned about VTS and occasionally tried to find the courage to ask my mum about this. Back then, her response was almost angry and dismissive, denying knowledge- I suppose I now understand why that might be.

Then 15 years ago I really struggled with tying how I felt with current VTS research at the time, mostly consoling myself with a small number of friends. 10 years ago, I gingerly approached the subject with mum once dad had sadly passed. She was much more engaged, saying ‘that’s interesting’ along with me being ‘unexpected’ and revealing they didn’t know about me until the 7th month.

I was watching Dark Matter a couple of weeks ago (some of the story resonated with me) and I thought I’d put mums pregnancy details into ChatGPT. Now, I’ve been really neutral in my phrasing as not to bias it, and question everything that comes out of it over and over. I’ve since learned less than 1% of singletons are detected by their mums at 7+ months. The remainder are survivors of a multiple pregnancy. As some of you likely know, the loss of a twin can cause hormonal issues telling the mother the pregnancy is over, preventing the detection of the survivor. ChatGPT has provided me with resource links to back this up.

To top it off, mum sadly had a history of miscarriages as well as her dad being a fraternal twin.

Now, I’m doubtful by nature but ChatGPT has gone into various alternative causes and why they don’t apply to my case.

On one hand it’s filled a void I’ve always had, on the other I’m slowly adjusting to what I guess has always been my reality.

The sad thing is that most parents in my situation would now be told about the likelihood they were expecting twins. I was born in 1980, so VTS was much less understood or researched.

So yeah, that’s me. If anyone has similar stories I’d love to hear them.

I'm a twinless twin, lost my identical twin brother about 12 1/2 years ago. I'm really curious to see if any twinless twins ever dated another twinless twin? I feel like there should be a free dating app designed for us to find partners who can truly understand us. Are there any twinless twins out there that found partners who are also dealing with the loss of their own twin? Kind of feels like wishful thinking..

I have a twinless twin daughter who’s twin brother was stillborn due to medical negligence in 2011 , my twin daughter has (as she got older) has been found to have learning difficulties and hypermobility due to a DNA condition we have . As she’s getting older she is starting to feel the loss of her twin so much more and I don’t know how to help her , it is so hard every year she has to deal with her birthday and her twin’s angelversary on the same day . I’ve talked to her , I’ve given her personalised books I had made for her when she was little explaining it but I know she’s struggling mentally with it . The school has put stuff in place to support her at school . (She’s attends a school for additional needs ) , any advice please ?

It's crazy being born into the world with the perfect person to share all the experiences life has to offer. I often think to myself that for the first 21 years of my life, I had no idea what if felt like to be alone. Because for all that time he was there having my back even if we fought with each other from time to time. And since he passed away it's like all I can do is feel the truest definition of loneliness. It doesn't matter if I'm standing in a room full of the people who love me and care about me the most. I still feel indescribably alone.

It's caused me to isolate myself from the world, and my family because I can't help but feel like I am a huge reminder of that tragic event to them, but most of all I am the biggest reminder to myself. Everytime I look in the mirror.

I lost my identical twin sister 2 months ago to an aggressive form of cancer. She was fighting this for the last 8 years juggling between a clear scan and relapse. It’s so damn unfair that I have live without her and we are only 21. She was and will always be the better twin. It should’ve been me instead. I feel so lonely and sorrow. No one understands the loss of a twin and how it feels. I have no one to talk to. I hope I make the world around me a better place like she did and become a good doctor like how she wanted to. I can’t wait for the day I meet her again 😓

My twin sister (fraternal sisters) died in a car accident at 21, I'm now 23. We're super close, did everything together. We became really close after our mom died from an opioid addiction when we were 17. We were always opposites, I am the book smart one and she is the emotionally intelligent/street smart one. When we were kids I was super shy and she was charismatic but as adults we sort of flipped on that as she had much more serious issues with depression. Also possibly relevant: I am not religious and neither was she, she was maybe more spiritual than me but not subscribed to any established religion. Also, I don't believe in ghosts but she does.

Tragic backstory aside, I have had a lot of dreams where I find her. I just go out into the world and I find her hiding from me on purpose. I'm always initially mad and she just doesn't really explain herself. One time she was in California (we lived in Arizona most of our lives) and she was living as a trans man and just wanted to start over. Sometimes I am also just like clinging onto her, like you can't leave me again and she just seems really disinterested and sort of like what's the point? Almost like she moved on from me and I am the only one clinging onto the past. Most of the time she is just in my dreams as an entity of the status quo, her presence in my subconscious is just compulsory, you know? These dreams do somehow make me feel a lot better, even when they are confrontational there is just this huge relief of like I knew I was being punk'd (which is really feeding into the whole intense denial and staying busy thing I have been doing). I just feel more like myself, it's almost like we did just hang out and now I can go into my robot work mode and focus on what I need to do just like I did before I lost her. So, I guess I wanted to ask if other people who have lost twins or someone really close to them has dreams like this?

Then I have also recently been having less dreams but more of these super surreal moments of like I have seen what I am doing before (déjà vu) but from over there (like three feet behind me or something like that) and I remember watching it with my sister as if she is showing me it. I also remember she is like explaining something to me but it is lost in the static or flying away from me somehow. I have been having this happen more frequently, mostly when I am at work which is where I am the most dissociated from myself. I would love to know if anyone else has had anything like this happen to them and what they think about it.

Thank you for reading this and responding if you feel like it or relate in any way. I don't normally use any kind of social media (also sorry for my username I didn't ever plan to post with this account) and I haven't done any kind of group or grief therapy because it is so hard for me to actually talk about it, so I am happy resources like this exist but I am also sad any of us are here : (

Today I found out I have a rare cancer that is Stage 4 and if Im lucky I have 6 months left to live. I am an identical twin, but my twin and I are EXTREME twins. We DO NOT SPLIT UP for the last 25 years, we have never been even one day apart.

We go EVERYWHERE together, always shared a bedroom our whole lives, we are those insanely close twins who dress alike every single day head to toe matching, talk in sync, and we always coordinate our outfits and hair every day.

Our entire schedule every single day is together, from the moment we wake up to bedtime when she literally tucks me in every night.

We share one car, purse, bank accounts, everything together. We cook together, walk at the beach everyday, do the same activities/hobbies, same friends, and we are EXTREMELY happy being twins. We love every part of being twins! We always love each other and are truly each other’s best friends!

We are a bit extremely clingy to the other one but its because of a traumatic childhood because we grew up in 15 foster homes together as orphans.

We lost our single mother at 8 years old. No one came to her funeral, it was just us two.

Thats another problem, we both have no parents, no other siblings or family its just us two because we were raised in the foster care system.

Im terrified for my identical twin, because 4 days ago I had a heart attack and was in the hospital and then today I found out I have severe rare form of Stage 4 cancer with 6 months to live.

Surprisingly like everything else horrific in our life, my identical twin has the same rare type of cancer only hers is stage 1 somehow and is more treatable/she will be able to recover. We both are going to the #1 cancer hospital next week together.

My identical twin already said she doesnt want to continue her life without me if I passed away, she has talked about joining me immediately because she cannot bear the thought of us being apart. Keep in mind, we have never been apart ever for more than 30 minutes at most. So this is just the worst case scenario for us. I dont want my twin to hurt herself, but she won’t be convinced to live on without me? She said theres no point or purpose for her life anymore

Im just shocked, overwhelmed, honestly feeling horrible because I was just told I have 6 months to live and I am only 25 years old.

Im concerned for my identical twin, who is clingier to me and never leaves my side, she is more shy and Im more outgoing but she only prefers talking to me. We are inseparable, we laugh all day long, and are extremely positive and silly. Weve matched every day since we were kids, and its just such a nightmare situation that felt like a truck hit me out of nowehere like how is this even real?!

I believe in God and Jesus, and I know my prayers and the cancer already spread to other sites of my body, but the 6% chance I have to live that the doctor told me, I believe and pray that God will heal me. Im not ready to die at 25

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been surviving and have such an incredible support network in my family. After my twin sister (26) passed, financial ruin began to set in. We had a lot of ppl donate to the funeral home but still had to cover about $1k in expenses. She was my roommate on this new adventure we set out on. I moved far away for work (contracted) and she passed away not even 3 months in. My family by no means has money to cover unexpected things like this, so especially after a few months of trying to cover “the other half’s expenses” it started to become hell. I even have had to take out tribal loans just to afford rent, which in return sent me in to more financial ruin.

I don’t rlly give a shit about it honestly, all I can still care about is having her back. But I feel like the last thing my family needs to worry about during a tragedy like this, is being able to afford the basics?? I’m hoping to start a new job soon with better financial security. But a lot of my financial life has been jacked to hell simply bc I lost my twin sister.

Two and a half years ago my (34m) twin brother collapsed with heart failure while taking the dogs out. I lived my hell that night. We had his funeral and hundreds of people showed up. People and friends from every phase of our lives came. I didn’t consider it at the time, but after a few years to reflect, I had a thought. Was this like a peek at my own funeral ( if I passed at 34 ish)? Kinda feels like it. Anyone have that thought?

My twin brother died 2 years ago today after a terrible cancer fight. He was 31. He was my best friend and my other half, in every sense of the phrase.

Life isn’t as enjoyable without him in it. Every day is a sad reminder of the life that he’s no longer around to enjoy.

I had dreams of us growing old together with our wives and kids.

I hope I can live a long and healthy life, but it pains me to think that, if I do, he will only have been around for a fraction of it.

God, it fucking sucks to talk about this. We are only 22 years old, and I just can't believe I'll never see him again. So much of our lives revolved around video games, and was the common ground we loved, always playing them together. He moved to Oregon three years ago (from Indiana) and I haven't seen him since, but we called on Discord every day, and played games together. So much of my free time was spent with him, and I feel so lost without it. Almost everything in this world makes me think of him, now, and with us being identical, I can even look in mirrors without hurting so deeply.

He had been doing poorly maybe two months ago, but he was getting better and better.

It sounds so strange, but I always felt like I could feel his emotions and presence, even with him being 1500 miles away- and when he went, I think I knew it. I felt so much dread surge through me, and when he wouldn't pick up the phone, I grew sick. Even with him gone, I feel like somehow he is consciously connected to me, and I really don't know what to make of it.

I feel like I have to live both of our lives, now, to carry him on, and I want to. I just really don't know how to process everything. I know this is rambley and uncoordinated, but that's because I am. I just miss my brother, and I don't know how to understand the fact that I feel like he's still a living part of me. I don't know how I'm supposed to process it all, and live with it.

What keeps me wanting to do good in his eyes is the thought that when we meet again, I want you to like me for who I became without you on this earth. By keeping his memory alive around me and wanting to walk with his guidance ensures that when we meet again it will be as if we never were separated from each other in the first place.

The fact that I even have to be typing this is hitting me like a truck. I lost my twin three days ago and now the days go by so slowly. We were only 18. He’ll be 18 forever but I’m cursed with having to go on without him. My mind is plagued with thoughts of “I could’ve/should’ve done something.” And “Why didn’t I just-“ The regret hurts the most. He didn’t die naturally. He took his own life, and in doing so he took mine too. My whole world was stripped away from me the moment the police told me; “He’s deceased.” Our life flashed before my eyes. I’ve never felt more empty and broken as I have been. He lost the fight he’s been fighting since we were in 7th grader. My depression has only gotten so much worse now. I don’t think I’ll ever feel complete again, not without my other half. He’ll miss my weddings, he won’t get to be an uncle to my kids, we can’t get the houses we wanted to get, or even live in an apartment together. He was set on this for a week. In that time I should’ve just helped him, but I had no clue. We haven’t been able to see the body or the note yet, but any “progress” I’ve made in my grief journey, I’m sure will quickly unravel once I do. Rest in Paradise Gray.

Hi. My name is Chase and I'm a 28year old male from Mississippi. I just lost my twin sister (Ariana) on July 7th. She died from liver failure and it all happened pretty quick. Within a month time frame I would say. Someday's I begin to think it's getting easier but others not so much. So many of my memories are our memories. Sometimes I feel like the people around me don't really understand what it's like to loose a twin or be a twinless twin. By all means, I'm not trying to undermine anyones loss but it hits different being a twin.

My identical twin passed away last Tuesday due to triple negative breast cancer. Although she’s been fighting for two years and we grieved her prior life, we didn’t expect her to pass so soon. I don’t know how to feel. And I recently just celebrated our birthday on 7/22. it’s too much right now and I just want to emotionally shut down.

I’ve recently chosen to become permanently single. I’ve often struggled with dating in general but after losing my twin 10 years ago (we were 22) I’ve really just been through the wringer dating wise. I’ve researched a lot about bonding theory and how twins in general bond differently than non-twins. Our twin is our first human bond even before birth. Even if our twin relationship wasn’t super close, the proximity still impacts how we bond as adults. Curious to see how other twinless twins have formed relationships as adults.

My 10 year old neice, who lost her father(my brother) just passed away. This is so heartbreaking. Why is life like this? This is just so much to handle. She has two sisters that I have to stay strong for. Life can get worst unfortunately. Any kind words or advice would be appreciated.

Holidays are always hard when you are with other family but not with your twin. I would love to hear a story about the 4th of July that you recall having with your twin.

Mine is when we were about 10, the day after 4th of July we went all throughout the neighborhood and would gather the fireworks that didn’t fire off or had left over gun powder. We ground the gunpowder into a pile and lit it on fire with a cigarette lighter. I learned real quick that that wasn’t a good idea and burned my thumb and my arm pretty good. Nothing hospital worthy but man did it hurt. It made me think, phew did we get lucky. We later turned to using wicks based on some observations and ideas to not have that happen again but still see how cool it was to light the pile.

I definitely miss those days and I miss having my brother physically here.

Hello. My cousins are girl/boy twins, the three of us have the same birthday and are 30 years apart. One twin was born with cerebral palsy and the other with a mental disability (possibly ASD). The day before our birthday, my girl cousin passed away. My cousin is devastated. He was her main caregiver and best friend since birth. His entire routine is different.

How should I go about supporting him? I’m looking for support groups or anything that is neurodivergent friendly. It will definitely be helpful for him to have community at this time. Unfortunately he isn’t too internet savvy, so things like Reddit aren’t the best option. I don’t want him to feel alone. He doesn’t deserve this. Please, any help is appreciated. Thank you.

Anyone going to the twinless twins conference in Chattanooga in two weeks?

I lost my twin brother last week. We are only 20 years old. He had a sudden cardiac death due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. We didn't know he had a disease he was so healthy even athletic. According to the pathologist it was not something we could have anticipated even had he been to the hospital. I feel so much. I feel left behind. Life is so unfair. My twin was truly wonderful. He dreamed of a future he had hope. Now I'm left here on earth with nothing. I don't think the loss has sunk in. I don't know how I'll ever recover. It's so absurd. The worst part is there was no warning. I walked into my brother's room to ask him to do the laundry and he was suddenly dead. I've not recovered from the shock. My question to all of you is can someone recover from such a thing?

I recently gave birth to twin girls and unfortunately after 2 months in the NICU one of my daughters suddenly passed away. My husband and I have been struggling a lot with her loss but I e been doing my best to continue to go and spend time with her sister and look after her but everyday I have thoughts on how this will affect her in the future and how we should approach telling her in the future in a way that honors her sister’s memory but doesn’t traumatize her. I also worry her knowing and seeing her step cousins (also twins) may make her jealous or sad. Anyone with experience with this?

I'm about to turn 25, and I was only told a few days ago that I had a vanishing twin. My mum only had one ultrasound when she was pregnant with me, "some time after twelve weeks", when she had evidence of a miscarriage and her midwife forced her hand. There was an empty sac and evidence of another baby.

As a child, I was convinced that I used to have a twin. When I was around third grade age I turned to my mum and asked unprompted, "did I used to have a twin? Did I eat them?" (Meaning, absorb them in the womb). She said no, and that she didn't want to talk about it. I asked a few more times as a kid, and then gradually left off the topic because I could tell it was upsetting her. I only found out because I mentioned my suspicions to my siblings in a conversation that she overheard. She had her partner explain it to me.

Every night since then, I've had nightmares. About losing a twin pregnancy of my own, about the death of one of a set of twins I'd adopted, about the missing fetus. And I have so many questions- how many weeks? Did she know the sex? Were we mono-di or di-di? Was I baby A or baby B? Did she bury them? Why didn't she TELL me? I'm not going to harass her about it, I know how painful it must be, but I don't know what to do with the curiosity.

I don't really know how to find closure. I've always known that my twin was gone, as far back as I could remember, so nothing has really changed. I know I need to... Process? To get past the dreams, but I don't know how I'd even start to go about that. I feel ridiculous for being upset by something that happened a quarter of a century ago and has no real bearing on my life, but it's eating at me in a way I didn't expect. And I'm angry about being lied to for so long, which I feel is much more valid. Can anyone relate?

This is my first post here. I lost my twin sister at 36 on January 8th 2024 to pneumonia and liver problems. She passed on her son's birthday. Our birthday is in July. It my first birthday without her. I don't know what to do. I want to have a get together at my house for me and for her. I already know I'm going to be a mess. I'll be happy then I'll be sad. I'll be happy then I'll be mad. I want to forget but I also want to remember. Her son will be with me to celebrate along with my kids, so I don't want to ruin it for them either. If any one has any advise to help get through the day and help ease the pain. I honestly want to just stay in bed alone and cry but that's not something she would want me to do. What are some things I can do to help celebrate her along with celebrating the day? I miss her so much..she was my only friend. She was my best friend and I feel so empty. I hate this and I feel for anyone who has had to deal with the same pain as me.

On March 27, 2023, the Hunt family joyfully welcomed their twins, a boy and a girl, into their home filled with love and anticipation. For nearly three precious months, the twins brought light and laughter to their parents, siblings, and everyone who knew them.

Tragically, on June 16, 2023, just shy of three months old, baby Maddison, the beloved girl twin, passed away due to alleged negligence by Prince George’s County EMS. The heart-wrenching loss has shattered the Hunt family, leaving behind a twin brother who will grow up without his sister, and four brothers, two sisters, and many loved ones who now grapple with an irreplaceable void.

The Hunt family is not only grieving but also battling against a system that they believe is attempting to cover up the truth about Maddison's untimely death. They seek justice and accountability from Prince George’s County EMS and need the community's support to uncover the truth and hold those responsible to account.

In this time of profound sorrow, the Hunt family calls upon the community to stand with them, ensuring that Maddison's memory leads to meaningful change and justice. You can help the family be signing the petition below or sharing their story on social media. (Video below) Thank you.

Petition: https://chng.it/yCrqQJ8vj6

Video: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7CfQFOrhe_/?igsh=MXZ6dHppeHE0ZzVmMw==

My twin sister passed away yesterday after a long and painful cancer fight. We are 28. I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going without her. I didn't get to say goodbye. I know she wouldn't have wanted everyone coming and making a big fuss about her and that's probably why she decided to go so suddenly with no warning. I just keep relieving getting that phone call. I know it sounds crazy but I have been talking to her all day. I just don't know how to deal with going on alone.