It’s was back in the olden days at the sauce factory. Steven’s had invented Mustard, Ketchup, and Mayonnaise, and had basically just been coasting by at his job for years. His boss came to him demanding two new sauces on his desk by the end of the week, or he was out of there. Of course, inventing a new sauce in under a week, let alone two, was going to be impossible.

So he took lead from Andrews who had invented Honey Mustard the year before. He prowled the shelves and ended up with a mixture of Mayonnaise and Relish. It looked good enough, heck, call it hot dog spread.

Now for another. Ketchup, Ketchup is good. What if it had more kick though? Ahhhh!!! Horse Radish!!!

No time to name it, just get it on the bosses desk!!!

So Stevens brings his two new sauces to his boss. (I’ll interject here, swearing was frowned upon in the olden days. That’s important later.) His boss dips his finger into the chunky white mess of a sauce in the first bowl, licks his finger, and scowls. “Oh, sir, here” he says handing a hot dog to his boss. Let’s just say, this was not going well, and the look on boss man’s face was not good. Not wanting to swear, Stevens lets out “oh Fish Sticks!”. You can see everybody’s faces light up, Andrews grabs some fish sticks and it is a wild hit! Boss Man asks Stevens what he calls it, and as he is thinking, Andrews bumps into the desk and the bowel crashes to the ground. Again, not wanting to swear, Steven’s lets out “Tartar Sauce!!!” (Yes, Tartar Sauce was a substitute swear word long before it was fish sticks’ favorite dip, it was just forgotten until Patric Star started using it again).

Next it was the spicy ketchup. Stevens was lazy, but not dumb. He knew he was on a roll, so had Andrews fetch some shrimp. It was an instant hit. Boss Man asked what it was called, just when his secretary walked by in that slinky, painted on tight, pencil skirt, and Stevens says “Cock Tail”.

And that is the false history of seafoods most famous sauces!

https://youtu.be/dqW7L2O9SRA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLR26diwP4A&feature=youtu.be

​

The true story of The Great Emu War.

The origins of Metal, thought by most to have originated with Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath - or even Blue Cheer, can actually be attributed to the 13th century emperor Temüjin, more commonly known as Genghis Khan.

Recent findings discovered in a book which was thought long lost 'Legis Naturalis et Belli' or 'Natural Law and War' written by 13th century Roman Catholic priest Thomas Aquinas, describe an unusual musical notation that he "transcribed" from a Roman merchant. In it, the 'roaming conquerors', a small Mongolian raiding party, played on stringed instruments as they rode in. The writing also depicts many of the same characteristics modernly referred to as 'Metal'.

The author describes a fast and regular short beat, overlaying a slower resonating bass beat accompanied by strings and guttural harmonic vocals employed by the front-line riders; this is actually called Tuvan aka Mongolian throat singing. In his book 'History of the World Conqueror Volume 1' Rashid-al-Din Hamadani, a Persian historian, mentions that the Mongolian riders initially only used horseshoes on rough or stony terrain. Even though we know that they did use horseshoes to reduce the number of horses required to mount their invasion forces, it coincides with another entry in 'Natural Law and War' which reads: "The sound of a hard ridden unshoed horse on Roman cobblestone does little to lighten the sense of impending doom".

The Romans, like most Europeans, were unable to effectively defend themselves against even a small Mongolian raiding party, they would resort to clashing their short swords against their shields - to use an artificial and piercing metallic sound as a last-ditch defensive effort.

Many believe that the harsh terrain of the Mongolian steppe, combined with the cold weather, and Mongolian life in general, hardened the Mongol warriors allowing them to remain comfortable without many of the provisions and comforts which a then-modem-life could provide. Ultimately, this hardness is what allowed them to so easily defeat their enemies, and almost seize control of the entirety of Europe, were it not for the untimely death of the Great Khan Ögedei's death on December 11, 1241. This event is commonly thought to be the reason that the Mongolian armies retreated, although some disagree stating that it would have taken more than 3 months to get word to the front line.

The particular style of music, although lost during the ensuing dark ages, always seemed to have made an appearance, evolving ever so slightly, but prevailing and remaining popular throughout most of Europe.

The Chinese band (all ethnic Mongolian) Nine Treasures has kept in line with the oral tradition handed down from generation to generation stemming back to the early Khan dynasty. They proudly use the Mongolian fiddle to accompany most of their work. You can hear a sample of it here: Morit Tsreg

I'm Irish and I love history, but sometimes we just need to take a step back and look at what happened. Here's a satirical and slightly cynical look at the build up and what led to the Easter Rising. I will be adding more and any feedback is appreciated. http://leprechaunliberation1916.com/

"Fuck ME like you fucked that horse," I said to Catherine the Great, but she didn't listen. No she wanted another horse. So I called in a couple of servants and started to ready the horse winch. We got the thing set up, and I noticed a little bit a of fraying on one of the ropes. I didn't think much of it, but in retrospect that was probably a mistake. Anyway we started to get the horse prepared, and then I turned and started to ready the other wench (she'd have had me hanged for that pun).

When she was ready, we got the horse winched up into the air, and I started to ease him forward. The Empress looked eager that night, and I wanted to get this thing done with. We started to lower the horse towards her, and damn... the winch broke. The horse winnied and collapsed on top of Catherine. She didn't even have time to gasp. She was dead -- crushed under her lover to be.

I can't help it, but the only thing I remember thinking as I watched the horse fall was... "Yeah you're really fucked now."

It didn't happen right away. When we first went to put our man in power it required an assassination. Unfortunately, the bastard lived.

I should back up a few years first. They were tearing us apart in 74-75. There was real, serious, talk of disbanding the entire Agency. That commie bastard Church was killing us. He actually had open congressional hearings about the shit we pulled in the 50's and 60's as if we weren't the bulwark that kept this country out from under the Soviet. We were /this close/ to being run out of business altogether, and that was simply not acceptable. We survived -- barely, but we knew we couldn't put up with that kind of scrutiny ever again. We knew we needed to run this joint, and just about that time Ford gave us the perfect pliant patsy to head our recently gelded organization, George H.W. Bush...

It was a wicked cold December's night in Boston, the 16th of 1773. Droves of drunken colonists boarded the docks of Griffin's wharf in Boston, Massachusetts. Dozens of men and women, a lot of them dressed as Mohawk Indians, celebrated raucously and ransacked the ships docked.

Earlier that night , the drunkards, referring to themselves as the Son's of Liberty, lead by Samuel Adam's met at The Old South Meeting House. Many of them had a night full of boisterous drinking which started out as cheery but soon devolved into rowdy madness when the Sox lost the game 3 to 1. Already pissed off about the game, the guys began to yell how they were tired of drinking tea and tired of the British soldiers smugly drinking the crap around them. The group decided to pull a prank on the British and dump all the tea into the harbor. They wanted to see if they could make the world's biggest cup'a tea.

Samuel Adams agreed that it would be " frickin wicked" and pushed the men toward harbor. The men and women swarmed the docks and began to dump out the tea, which was brought to harbor by the East India Tea Company. Half of them dumped the tea, many of them urinated overboard into the drink.

All in all 340 or so boxes of tea were dumped overboard and when the British learned of it they were outraged by the incident. Though they were angered they couldn't help themselves but to take out cups and proceed to test out the harbor beverage. The soldiers seemed to be enjoying the taste, unaware of what all was in that tea. John and Samuel Adam's, along with the rest of the Son's of Liberty began laughing hysterically at the sight. John could even be heard saying "Enjoy the piss 'n tea ya chowdaheads!"

When the British realized what they were drinking they began spitting out into the brine and retreated with embarrassment. This incident factored into what would soon lead to the American Revolution and was one of the first blows against British rule.

Thank you for your patience as I have been working on my CSS for this sub's layout as well as trying to supply readers with more content. The feedback I've gotten is really awesome and I can't wait to see where the sub goes!

To further explain what this sub is all about we would like readers to come in and enjoy our submitted content.  What we aim to be is a place where a user reads one of our stories and gets a cool **FICTIONAL** take from events in history.  I'm striving to make this sub have as few rules as possible so we can have a fun, imaginative direction for people that enjoy writing fiction,  as well as reading about it.  If you want to write a funny story about Napoleon I encourage you to write it.  If you want to make up your own conspiracy theories about a historical event , I encourage you.  Please no posing what if questions yourself.  I don't want this sub to be similar to ask reddit or other subs because I want this one to he completely unique. *This means I have to unapprove any question posts*

Please be the author of the story. You don't have to he the narrator. If you want to write something about Louis and Clark through the eyes of Pocahontas that is totally fine. I also will likely be adding a link portion because someone came up with the idea to photoshop historical pictures and I think thay goes great with this sub.

*PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME ANYTIME WITH QUESTIONS OR SUGGESTIONS AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT OF THIS SUBREDDIT!*


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*HERE AGAIN IS THE LIST OF CURRENT RULES, WHICH ARE ON THE SIDEBAR*


**THIS SUBREDDIT IS PURELY SATIRE**
•Nothing you read in this sub should be regarded as factual.
•This sub is not for educational purposes and should not be treated as such.
•Moderators have the final say on matters pertaining to this sub.
•Have some fun but don't get carried away with how you communicate with others.
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The year was 1936, and it was a time of great tribulation for Germany. The great Jesse Owens had defeated the Aryans in the Summer Olympics and the Nazi Party was looking for a way to inflate public perception and morale. It was in this time the German company Luftschiffbau Zeppelin GmbH (L.Z.G) had developed the enormous LZ 129 Hindenburg.

On the docks of Friedrichshafen, on the fourth of March, 1936, Dr. Hugo Eckner and his 56 crew members along with 30 passengers took to the heavens and made the first successful test flight of the Zeppelin. After the success of this flight, a countrywide outpouring of support engulfed Germany. Upon witnessing this engineering triumph, the Nazi party believed Hindenburg to be the perfect vector to pollinate the Nazi political parties ideals and command over the public. Hitler decided to subsidize the Hindenburg and within a month, Hermann Göring oversaw all operations for the Fuher.

Half a world away a seperate company was fervently kickstarting it's business. That company was Goodyear and during it's inception, in 1898, was manufacturing bicycle and carriage tires in Akron, Ohio in what started with a heaping dose of elbow grease and an American dream. What had once started as a small manufacturer, soon blossomed into a top racing tire supplier and even supplied Henry Ford with the tires needed for his original Model T in 1908. Flash forward one year and the owner of the company, Frank Streisberling was steadfast in design of their first private aircraft.

The U.S Government growing more observant of the company's success, enlisted the help of Goodyear to manufacture aircraft and observation balloons to aid the military in WWI. It was this endeavor that would send Goodyear on a trajectory of making blimps, but even more important was that it began a relationship between the U.S military and Goodyear that would quietly permeate through the annals of History.

Through this intricate web of progress, Goodyear would segway itself into competition with Hindenburg. It's success with manufacturing blimps was overshadowed by it's German born counterpart. Hindenburg was ready for it's first public spectacle; a 4,100 mile path lathered with Nazi political propaganda. Though a larger test of the Zeppelin was it's aerial trek from it's birthplace in Germany to Rio De Janeiro. This voyage made one thing palatably clear; Germans were intending to takeover.

Sensing the threat of an overthrow, President F.D.R was informed of the possibilities of danger from the Nazis and entrusted one of his advisers with the responsibility of dismantling such a threat. George Dern was the appointed; the countries Secretary of War at the time , he was afforded the most power over the matter. Dern assembled a small cabinet consisting of the highest ranked members of U.S military espionage to come together with a plan to sabotage the Zepplin. Though it's propaganda was a clear sign of intentions, there hadn't yet been any violence commited by the Germans and so it was imperative that the attack be made to look accidental and untraceable. After months of covert planning, the plan was made. Five members of the cabinet, would infiltrate the Zepplin and cover it with undetectable flammable materials. It had one piece missing from Dern's scheme. They needed transportation to carry out the plot. They decided on the Goodyear company, having heard of their expertise in constructing blimps. Dern contacted the owner, Streisberling, for a private meeting and convinced him to follow their plan.

On March 4th, 1937, five appointed spies, along with a small unsuspecting Goodyear crew facilitating the trip, began their path to the Hindenburg. At around 2:30 a.m they approached the Zepplin. It was docked in Lakehurst, New Jersey, waiting to be shown off thay evening. The crew believed themselves to be aiding in transfer of last minute supplies to the vessel. The real intentions were unbenounced to the staff and the spies maintained their incognito. The plan went off without a hitch and the public took spectacle that evening with raucous excitement which precipitously delved into horrified screams of panic and fear. Looking into the sky the Hindenburg could be seen roaring with flame around the clouds, then plummeted to the dirt. The once mighty behemoth lain askew in its own ash, the very symbol created by the Germans of power brought down in seconds. The news of the disaster reverberated around the world. Whether this even contributed to the allies eventual defeat of the Nazis remains a mystery but it was the first subtle blow to the Nazi regime.

The official count that day was 36 fatalities, miraculously 62 of the 97 passengers survived. Eckner, whom commanded the Zepplin and survived, claimed the disaster to be carried out by a saboteur. This theory fell on deaf ears and the official theory given for it was a combination of hydrogen leak ( Hydrogen gave Hindenburg the ability to float ) and passing through a series of electrical fields during a storm which caused a spark to ignite the Hindenburg.

For his part in the ordeal , Frank Seiberling , whose contribution remained unknown to the public at large took full advantage of the events, setting into motion his company as the leading symbol of ballooned aircraft in the world. Goodyear commenced it's first blimp event during the Rose Bowl of 1955. It has since then become one of the most prominent promotional icons in U.S marketing history, making tours above stadiums and events all over the country , even today.

As Hitler rose to power in Germany in the late 1930's, he wanted a symbol that represented the uniting of the major powers of the earth; 4 powers: Germany, Russia, China and the U.S. This made unitentional sense as the Hindus used it to represent the 4 directions of the world. His agenda was that of uniting the 4 major powers for the betterment of mankind. However, things went awry as the Bavarian born Hermann Göring, whom became Hitler's second in command at the early onset of the nazi political movement, was entrusted with the selection of a symbol representative of the partie's sensibilities. Göring had a fondness for Eastern religious symbols and so went with the Swastika based upon it's likeness of what he found to be "cool" much like that of a present day American, whom wouldn't mind getting Asian characters tattooed on their bodies without first knowing their meaning. In his haste for approval, Göring gave the Symbol to Hitler, which he approved as the new political symbol and began producing the flags. It was during this period that Göring realized he hadn't done his diligence to research the meaning behind the symbol and payed a small fee to a low ranked official to research and translate the Hindu Swastika to a meaning the party could use for their rallies of the public. Completely in shock by the rough translation the official rushed back to Görbin, regretfully informing him of the "true" meaning of the symbol: Exterminate the Jews This revelation shocked him and he immediately rushed to Hitler with the unforseen information. It was decided by Hitler that it was too late to change the symbol as the party had already begun supplying the flags to the public. Hitler had already begun getting the public behind him and knew he would have to keep up with the symbol. It was then Hitler decided "We exterminate the Jews." In the coming weeks, the movement's S.S soldiers began rounding up the Jews when something completely unexpected happened. Görbin had met with a Hindu at a Bratwurst eating contest when he saw the afformentioned symbol on all the flags and said to Görbin rather innocuously what the meaning true meaning was. Horrified by the discovery he rushed once again to Hitler's political office and explained the mishap. Hitler knew he couldn't change his agenda now. There was too much already set in motion on the plan. He told Görbin he was continuing on the same path. Görbin pleaded with him to change his mind as Hitler began to walk away. He gave a final shrill plea: "Come back Hitler we can fix this!" Hitler walking away offered one final sentence on the matter. . . "It's too late, I've already walked away too much"