/r/TransSupport

Photograph via snooOG

The aim of this community is to provide a supportive space for trans people. Supportive allies welcome.

If you do not see your post, send us a message. It may have gotten caught by the spam filter.


Welcome to Trans Support. The goal of this community is to provide a nonjudgmental space for trans and other nonbinary people who need support for any issue.

This is a safe space

Basic rules:

1. Respect one another! Any racism, transphobia, homophobia, and related bigotry do not belong here. Debate does not belong here.

2. Support This is a place for support for people who need it. That is the focus. Please leave drama with other posters at the door.

3. Moderation Disruptive and irrelevant comments will be removed at the moderator's discretion.

/r/TransSupport

12,456 Subscribers

3

hrt advice for a transgirl.

So i have been on hormones for almost a year (pre any ops) now and due to some issues can no longer access hormones, i will run out in a couple weeks and am currently terrified for when it happens, i do not wish to detransition or live as a boy again.
i live in the uk (england) and currently cannot afford to go private and the nhs has several year long waiting times.
has anyone else experienced a situation like this? and if so what did you do?
i also heard that its common to self medicate though know little about it.
any advice would be appreciated as i am rather distressed over the situation.

0 Comments
2024/11/30
18:29 UTC

4

Giving away my store credit for binders from Amor Sensory

I've ordered two binders from Amor Sensory (AUS) a couple months ago and had to return them because I ordered the wrong size. They don't do refunds so I have a store credit of CHF 138 (around 150 USD). I'm not going to use the credit because the material is too thick for my taste and I don't actually need high compression, I can get away with wearing sport bras for now. The delivery from Australia is gonna cost you so be aware of that.

To the person struggling financially but in dire need of binders, message me.

0 Comments
2024/11/30
12:37 UTC

1

I feel at a loss supporting my friend in this political climate

We're both trans women and she's my best friend, and I do my best to support her, but it's so hard to lift her up when she's not only depressed for herself and all trans people and the country but most importantly for her 17 year old trans daughter who due to custody stuff hasn't had the ability to start her on HRT (her ex is a huge transphobe and has the authority and keeps saying no no matter that the doctors and therapists say yes.) She's done everything in her power to help her daughter and hits wall after wall, and her daughter's other mother is very emotionally abusive. I predict very much that when she turns 18, she's going to run to her supportive mother (my friend) and need major respite.

On top of all that, she's having an extremely hard time finding a job (which at least in part has to do with transmisogyny in her industry and tbh her prospects look extremely bleak at this point) and is in huge financial trouble. She's always had a tendency to catastrophize a lot, not that I blame her, but she gets scared very easily and predicts the worst. The problem is, she's right and has many obviously valid reasons to be terrified and hopeless, and I have no fucking clue how to calm her down when I think she's absolutely correct, especially at the moment. I can't have her break down (too many people depend on her,) but she's wearing thin after a year of unemployment and custody battles. I tried to persuade her to take a small break from news and politics, and she was resistant because she feels she has to know if she's gotta bolt, but it's breaking her. What do I do? I feel exactly the same as her, I think very bad times are coming (I know this isn't difficult to predict) and I don't think it's going to end in 4 years, I think bad times are in store for decades. I said multiple times it's going to be okay and she said it's not, and I knew she was right and that I was the liar. Wtf do I say? What do I do? I would die for her, I would kill for her, I'd give her every organ in my body if she needed them, but I can't lie about what's happening in this country plain as day.

I'm sorry for going on so long, I know all I can realistically do is be a supportive friend, but I have no hope and I don't know how I can honestly give her any.

3 Comments
2024/11/25
13:18 UTC

10

Finally told off my family...

My family and I have different opinions on trans issues, they're all Trump supporters and have not been understanding about my transition and fears at all.

We have had arguements a couple of times about this and even though I found what they said hurtful, I tried to be cordial and explain what would make me happy and feel supported when they said they supported me.

This included not referring to my full dead name and agab as "perfect" which was taken very very poorly.

Today I thought I should explain my side more, after all they're my family, they're queer and they love me, maybe they don't understand me because I've been too quiet and things are getting kind of scary so I want to make sure my voice is clear if anything happens to me.

I apologized for being silent and told them my side of the story, why I came to California those years ago and how life was going for me now, how I had to quit my job because of bomb threats and fear mongering, how neo-nazis were now on my streets.

They responded that they felt attacked.

I did not refer to them at all, I didn't say I was afraid of them or anything they had done had led me here. Just, NOTHING of that sort.

I got angry and lashed out for the first time ever telling specifically my mom that this WASN'T ABOUT HER. I couldn't have been more clear about that.

She told me again that she supported me and I left her with a long message that let her know, I disagree. She doesn't support me, if I can't talk to her about my life and my people without her feeling attacked for some reason then I'm not even getting the most meager of emotional support.

I then left the group chat with her and my brothers. I haven't blocked anyone but their stances together are known to me now and I don't want my youngest brother seeing this anymore.

I don't know how to feel

0 Comments
2024/11/25
07:27 UTC

3

I'm not doing so well

I'm afraid I'm going to self harm tonight, my depression has me bad. Just had such a sad depressing birthday and I feel like garbage about myself and my life and I'm really wishing I had the means to end it. I'm such a fucking nobody.

8 Comments
2024/11/23
07:37 UTC

8

seattle, transfem, 37, need a hug real or virtual

just kinda shouting into the void tonight, since i’ve been feeling really lonely and isolated, especially from other transfems. would love a hug! 🥹

15 Comments
2024/11/22
04:22 UTC

3

Needing some support, TOP SURGERY.

Hi, I’m a transman who isn’t able to continue HRT due to health reasons, but I have had top surgery this year.

Sometimes, when I look at my scars I feel sick. I’m a circus artist so they’ve stretched a little and one of my stitches popped during recovery, but I don’t look horrendous… just yaknow, I’ve had top surgery and have scars. I also just feel like I look like a girl without boobs because of not being able to continue HRT. But I’m so much more confident now and happier now? So why do I sometimes feel so icky about my scars? Is it just my dysphoria? Just a new experience of it?

I’m worried im the only transman who feels this way and that I’m faking being trans, but I know that’s just imposter syndrome and wanted to ask if anyone else has had this issues. I’ve been out as trans since I was 14 by the way, I’m 24 currently.

I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, I just want to feel less alone. I love everyone else’s scars but hate my own sometimes. I’m not dissing on top surgery scars, just mine! 🥲 I apologize if this felt like word jumble. 🤪 it’s hard expressing my feelings.

1 Comment
2024/11/22
00:29 UTC

0

Help if possible 💚,click and read pls 🙏

0 Comments
2024/11/21
20:54 UTC

13

Not surprised…

MTF wife update, 7 months on estrogen and she is so happy. It’s odd, for the longest I was insecure about where we stood, considering our future from once she came out, I was struggling with a bit of medical stuff, and we just got out of a wild living situation. Things are finally settling into place, we’re headed in the right direction with anti seizure medication, she feels more and more confident everyday. We’ve even talked about renewing our wedding license, or getting updated cause the court finalized her name change. Every time I wake up next to her, I’m just absolutely blown away by how far she’s come, and I still feel those same fluttering butterflies whenever I see her. She is truly a marvelous woman. I genuinely don’t know where I meant to go with this post, all I know is she’s the center of my world, and if anything was to ever happen to her, I would never leave her side.

Corny I know, but I’m not surprised in the slightest. I love her so much, I love the person she’s growing into.

2 Comments
2024/11/20
04:29 UTC

6

Tuesday is my last day

I have tried everything but ultimately have decided I’m going to end it Tuesday. I am not strong enough for this world. For context, I’m a trans guy (and pretty fluid with my gender), I’m 29, just got out of a t4t relationship, I’m also a teacher. I really don’t have much to say other than everyone who keeps living is so brave. I am not brave.

24 Comments
2024/11/19
20:27 UTC

8

I don't want to be here anymore

It's been 8 years since I've transitioned, I've had FFS (which went bad and I now have a cartoonishly flat face,) I've gained 50 lbs, my hair is never regrowing, I hate the way I look (body and face,) and I'm an overprivileged do nothing piece of shit. I live in a very liberal city in a blue state, I have all my expenses paid for, a family that supports me and loves me for the most part, and a partner that loves me, and I still hate my life and I want to die. I've done many years of therapy and psychiatric drugs, my depression is "treatment-resistant," which is the term they give you instead of just shrugging at you and telling you you're just fucked to your core. The hatred I have for myself, the disdain for who I am to my core, is constant. I feel everyday I wish I could give my life and privilege to someone more deserving than me. I wish I could give whatever I have away and just slink into the nothing where I belong. Nothing I've done has fixed me, everything is a chore, I'm a recluse, I have no passions or hobbies or motivations, and now I'm forced to sit back and watch the world succumb to fascism from my comfy little box, waiting for my time to run out. The only thing holding me back from dying is a lack of access to the means of doing it. I'm useless, empty, and I deserve death, and yet here I am, almost 40 still alive, still wasting oxygen and resources that can be better spent on people who want to live and have a happy fulfilling life. I've believed since I was child that something inexplicable was just broken and missing from me, I've been told it's my depression, my dysphoria, my blah blah blah, but it always just comes back to just some fundamental flaw, some missing piece in my soul. Nothing explains what's wrong with me, I'm just a rotten piece of shit who deserves to suffer and die.

19 Comments
2024/11/13
23:41 UTC

2

Teans-friendly neighborhoods in EU?

MTF. I'm mustering up the courage to go out in public for the first time, and I'm planning a vacation to a city that won't give me funny looks if I don't pass yet. Any suggestions for a location?

0 Comments
2024/11/13
10:32 UTC

0

Gender affirming care⬇️

1 Comment
2024/11/12
21:37 UTC

5

BIPOC trans YouTubers 2010s

Hi all!!

So I'll just get right into it, I'm taking a class on queer cinema and I've decided for my final project I'm going to do a paper on the "genre" of transition videos posted on YouTube in the 2010s - think Jammie Dodger, Miles McKenna, Sam Collins, etc. Those are the names that I think are most recognizable. But, I want my project to be more intersectional than a single category of white man. Which gets to the point of the post: do y'all know of any BIPOC trans YouTubers in the 2010s (or earlier) that posted about trans issues and/or their own personal gender journey? This does NOT have to be limited to transmascs or binary trans men.

I would also be interested to see some names dropped of disabled trans YouTubers, and other marginalized perspectives. Anything to make my argument more well-rounded.

Thanks in advance!

1 Comment
2024/11/12
16:20 UTC

4

What am I supposed to do?

I'm a trans teen (16 ftm) in Idaho. With Trump's election, I have genuinely no idea what to do. I can't do anything because I'm 16, and my family doesn't support me enough to help me. What am I supposed to do until I move? He's gonna do so much against us and I'm terrified. I'm terrified of what my state will decide to do, just because they think we shouldn't be here. I'm so tired. My mental health is getting worse and this isn't helping. I don't know what to do.

1 Comment
2024/11/12
00:46 UTC

3

Name change in IL- before or after marriage?

Hi all! Due to recent events in American politics, I am racing to get my name and gender changed as soon as I can. My fiancee and I are also getting married within the next few weeks, and I'm taking her last name. Is it easier/better to get my full-name changed as a part of changing my last name after marriage? I'm located in Illinois

1 Comment
2024/11/11
21:31 UTC

6

Anyone else have dysphoria spike in times of high stress?

With the recent ejection and things so uncertain my dysphoria has taken center stage. This time last week before results on Wednesday I actually wasn’t feeling too bad. I still had dysphoria (I usually have at least a little) but it wasn’t getting to me like now.

2 Comments
2024/11/11
12:52 UTC

8

Help me

Hey guys, I (14, born male) just realized I’m trans, and now that Trump won the election, I’m terrified at what this means for me. I tried to tell my parents and my gf, but they all said I should keep thinking and not put labels on myself. But they don’t understand, my gf at least supports me, but my parents just don’t believe me and told me to keep thinking. Everyone I know outside of my gf is transphobic and I feel like my gf is the only reason I haven’t just ended it. Idk what to do, I need help, please I’m begging you.

8 Comments
2024/11/10
22:39 UTC

9

Keep going- if not out of joy, then out of spite

every day that you exist as who you are is an act of resistance. fascism relies on fear, on conformity, and on death. they want to force us back into the closet, but we cannot and will not go back. they can try, but we’ve existed longer than the US and will continue to exist long after this empire crumbles. the first pride was an act of righteous trans anger, and we will not let our elders’ fight be lost. organize, create trans spaces, fight back by caring for your trans siblings. the only way to defeat fascism is through truth, and nobody knows truth like we do. we will not go back.

1 Comment
2024/11/07
20:21 UTC

2

NJ birth-certificate change - living in TX

after these elections and such -- need help changing my NJ birth certificate information -- can someone provide assistance on this? currently living in texas (looking to move)

0 Comments
2024/11/07
15:26 UTC

17

Hi I'm a trans kid and I need help

Hi, I (16nb) am trans fem. My immediate family are very-pro trump to the point where my mum has a MAGA poster on her work desk (I live in Australia). I came out to my mum pre-election (it did not go well, to summarise 'keep your doors open because you might be a man', and now she wont stop telling me that "you will always be my son". She has also been going ) I genuinely don't know what to do from here and I'm even more scared now that Trump won the election because I know full well that my parents will believe most things that come out of his mouth. Despite going to a private only boys school, everyone still manages to be extremely homo/transphobic. The school itself is inclusive, just not the people in it. I am out to a small group of friends who are also LGBTQIA+. I genuinely don't know what to do from here, because its terrifying thinking about how I might lose everything I care about, but equally terrifying continuing living like this. Do you have any advice?

7 Comments
2024/11/07
13:22 UTC

0

[ Removed by Reddit ]

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

2 Comments
2024/11/07
00:01 UTC

4

dr jamie hall henry ford det, mi ftm surgery

hii im finally scheduled for my top surgery consultation on jan 3 and i wanted to know if anyone in the metro detroit area has had any experience with dr jamie hall at henry ford and how was it? im curious to know who this person is they don’t have many reviews and things online! any info is greatly appreciated:))

1 Comment
2024/11/06
23:04 UTC

20

I'm scared

I can't believe trump won I posted on a punk sub about voting and literally right after pulls closed in all states I started getting people in my dms telling me to kill my self. I'm really at a loss I feel like it's the beginning of the end. I don't have anyone but my wife close by no family no close friends. I'm in a state that voted red and I'm so fucking scared.

11 Comments
2024/11/06
20:30 UTC

2

Transition assistance of all kinds offered

The Order of Aphrodite offers free assistance in all manners of transfeminine gender transition. Acquiring HRT, coming out, passing, community and emotional support. If it's advice you need, it's advice we got.

Join the Order of Aphrodite, can't wait to see you there Sis.

https://discord.gg/PpKvrdscCx

0 Comments
2024/11/06
20:01 UTC

1

Wordy, but helpful-(I hope)

Hey everyone, I know today feels heavy, especially with anti-trans voices gaining more power in our political landscape. It’s easy to feel defeated, but remember: our strength is real, our community is resilient, and this isn’t the end of our journey.

Despite the setbacks, we are living proof of courage and authenticity. Our stories, our identities, and our existence have meaning and beauty that no election outcome can erase. As hard as it is, we still have each other and countless allies fighting alongside us. The path may seem uphill, but together we are stronger than any opposition.

Here are a few ways we can all work to protect our access to transgender healthcare, no matter the political climate:

1-Stay Connected to Advocacy Groups: Organizations like the ACLU, Lambda Legal, and your local LGBTQ+ groups are on the front lines of protecting transgender rights, including healthcare. Many offer resources, legal guidance, and updates on changing legislation. Staying informed and supporting their efforts can strengthen our community’s resilience.

2-Build a Network of Affirming Providers: Find trans-affirming doctors, therapists, and clinics, if possible, and encourage friends to do the same. Organizations like GLMA or local LGBTQ+ centers often have directories of supportive providers. The more we all network with affirming providers, the more we can help each other find safe healthcare options.

3-Prepare with Medical Documentation: Consider getting copies of your medical records, letters of support, and any documentation that could be useful if access to care becomes limited. Some trans folks find it helpful to have a “medical backup plan” that includes telehealth options or mail-order pharmacies that can serve as alternatives if in-person care becomes restricted.

4-Support Pro-Trans Legislation & Candidates: The work isn’t just in big elections. Local representatives and city councils can make huge differences in ensuring access to trans-inclusive healthcare and protections. Stay informed about upcoming elections, and encourage others to vote for candidates who support our rights. Keep a very watchful eye on current and upcoming bills being proposed in local government and state legislatures. Support those who can help with these issues and don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.

5-Lean into Community Strength: This journey is more sustainable when we’re united. Sharing resources, uplifting one another, and providing emotional support is crucial. Each of us can look out for one another, offer connections to healthcare resources, and remind each other that we’re not alone. You can and will make a difference. We are all connected somewhere in our journeys, let’s stay focused and remain strong for each other.

Let’s ALL keep taking steps forward, however small they may feel. Every act of self-love, every bit of kindness we extend to one another, and every opportunity we take to be ourselves is a powerful form of resistance. We’re here, and we won’t be silenced. Stay proud, stay connected, and hold on to hope—because change is slow, but it’s coming, and we are part of it.

You’re all so incredibly valued. I honestly would not have started my journey without your support and love. I hope this in some way will help others. If you don’t know where you want to start… ask, we all stand on the shoulders of those brave colorful souls that came before us! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

💕 - Abigail Elizabeth

0 Comments
2024/11/06
19:36 UTC

2

Struggling with general stuff

I (25) ftm (he/him) am struggling deeply with my own family. Excuse typos etc as im on mobile + first post.

So, I live with my adoptive family; Mom, Dad and sister; all of them say they are supportive (except for dad who is outwardly transphobic) but have refused for years at this point to use my pronouns (he/him) and name even after I started T and got my surgery they were rude and dismissive.

My dad has been the worst, outwardly refusing to call me by my name, telling me that im "disrespectful" for changing my name, even though he didnt even NAME me. After my surgery while I was hopped up on pain meds and in the hospital I remember my mom came to take me home when he called and he told me hed never respect me so long as I was under his house. Since then things have only gotten worse and worse. An important thing to note here is that on top of being trans I am also disabled, I'm currently being diagnosed with ehlers danlos syndrom a disability that effects my connective tissue (basically every part of my body) and means that I have excruciating pain if I walk for too long + my knees dislocate (Fun!).

He consistantly has yelled at me to get a job despite the pain I have struggled with for years telling me to suck it up etc calling me names and slurs. A few months ago he shut off the internet entirely leaving me to sink into the worst depression ive been in in years. I have not been able to gather the money to secure it back and here's where I get to the actual point; I dont know what to do. Im stuck I have tried EVERYTHING to get out of this and find something to help but no one wants to hire someone that can only work 4 hours a day let alone struggles to walk. The only thing I found to support myself is blood donations and tests but its not enough. Ive tried contacting support groups and housing places in my area but when I mention my cat they vanish into thin air. Im deeply deeply struggling and I need support anything anyone. I dont know what to do. Im lost and hurting deeply.

2 Comments
2024/11/06
16:25 UTC

19

for anyone trying to flee their state

hey everyone,

i know shit looks real bleak right now, particularly for those of us in super transphobic/red states. i wish i had some words of comfort or inspiration, but I'm scared too. i don't know what's gonna happen.

all i do know is, many states are already unsafe for us, and now that he's back, those and other states are gonna get worse.

i also know that i am blessed to live in CO, where our rights are well protected and access to care is fairly abundant.

i just want to extend an offer of my services to any trans person wanting to bounce out of their state and move here. i can help get insurance, find housing, find a job, get names changed, get surgeons/endocrinologists/psychs/primary docs lined up, get hormones, i can even drive people and their stuff here if the situation necessitates.

so, if you're thinking of coming to CO and need help getting set up, or can't afford the physical moving part, PLEASE pm me. i am well-versed in the system here, and I am glad to be able to aid our community.

i love you all 🖤

-p

6 Comments
2024/11/06
15:46 UTC

22

It's time to have another hard conversation about DIY HRT

I know, I know, it might break rule 4. But just hear me out mods, These are extraordinary times.

No matter what Trump does in office, no matter how far his fascist regime oversteps, no matter how transgender rights are erased. DIY HRT will always be an option. It has many obvious and subtle advantages over "legitimate" HRT. r/TransDIY, r/AskMtfHRT and r/estrogel are all very friendly towards newcomers. As always if you're ready to learn more dm me, it's my duty and privillege to serve. I'm more than happy to show anyone around the DIY HRT scene.

It's time for me to get to work. Best of luck in these trying times.

5 Comments
2024/11/06
09:00 UTC

5

OCD + Election

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. I can't believe that there are so many hateful, horrible people out there that hate trans people. I'm so tired and scared. How do we go on? What's next? How am I supposed to wake up and go about my life knowing the people in power want me dead? How am I supposed to pursue gender care or take pride in my identity when so many people openly voted against my life?

What will being trans look like for the next 4 years? How do we go on?

3 Comments
2024/11/06
08:36 UTC

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