Hi friends, hope all are well. I've identified as nonbinary for many years now, and before that had gender dysphoria since around age 7. I am afab and was on testosterone for a little over a year a couple years ago. I've been considering top surgery since I found out it was a thing; always wanting it but always finding excuses why I shouldn't get it.

A few years ago I went through an ego death sort of thing/spiritual awakening, which I'm still very lost and confused from. That process hasn't ended and has been very distressing when figuring out things for my transition. I even considered detransitioning fully because of how my spiritual views have changed.

I know most people on this page will understand the struggle when understanding that all things are inherently empty (this effects all other areas of my life too because I have OCD and I want to figure out what is morally "right" all the time) and also suffering from gender dysphoria. No matter what, I can't seem to figure out a path forward. If anyone has any advice or has gone through a similar crisis, I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much <3

Hello everyone,

I am a Buddha Dharma practitioner living in conscious community with a head Dharma teacher and Sangha in a rural and remote area in Canada. The lineage is Karma Kagyu, which is a Tibetan lineage that places emphasis on the student-teacher relationship.

I came to this community because I was attending university in Japan and discovered meditation and Dharma there. I started attending Dharma talks, courses and meditation retreats in Japan and eventually came to the main center here in Canada for the three-month intensive program. I decided to stay here because I felt this was a great place for Dharma and spiritual awakening.

I am half black and half Japanese and come out as a transgender woman about a year ago. I was born in Japan, grew up in America, attended university in Japan, and moved to Canada about six years ago.

Since coming out, I’ve been accused of clinging to gender and not putting the Dharma first.

My head teacher is a white, straight, and cis gender woman and does not care about trans issues. She said that I should leave so that I can focus on my gender transition and that I am welcome to come back later.

My living situation here the past month has become more rough because one of our head teachers and co-founder died a month ago, so our whole community is grieving. The remaining head teacher is now carrying the responsibility of leading the whole community. FYI, my teacher who passed away was white, straight, and cisgender. He was married to the current and remaining head teacher, and kept pointing out that I was clinging to gender when I came out as trans.

Because of my teacher’s passing away, there is now more pressure to step into the community and to train each other more and help support the head teacher now.

I have lived in this community for six years and feel heartbroken and devestated. Recently, I have brought up questions about being black and transgender in a predominantly white and all cisgender community and I have received different responses from the head teachers and community like:

“The work of black Buddhists is already being done elsewhere and is not as important as the work we’re doing here.”

“We’re not going to support you having an identity.”

“You came out as transgender and that was a shock to all of us and you didn’t communicate it beforehand.”

“Your personality has become split. You’re talking about trans topics and not the Dharma, and your conversations have become strange.”

“You can be a woman on the inside, but we’re going to treat you like a man on the outside and use you for physical labor.”

“if you’re going to question how to make this community more welcome to BIPOC people, then you should come up with that plan”

“You are gay and now you choose to be transgender, so you’re just further isolating yourself.”

The lineage I am in puts a lot of emphasis on devotion and the student-teacher relationship, and now I am questioning this whole model because it feels like my teacher(s) cannot see or understand me.

The head teacher has recently suggested that I move to our satellite center for now and stay with the group there. I am open to this because it would be a less drastic situation than moving to an entirely new place where I don’t know anyone, but I would still be with Sangha who are associated with the same group I’ve been in.

I have Canadian permanent residency and US and Japanese citizenship. I have considered moving to a city like San Francisco. I recently visited there for a week and stayed with my cousin and I enjoyed it.

However, I don’t feel comfortable anymore moving to the US because I was interrogated and searched coming back into Canada after a recent trip to the US, so I don’t feel comfortable and confident coming back into Canada without Canadian citizenship, which I can apply for next year in July.

Also, Trump recently got re-elected, so it looks America may become a less safe place for transgender people.

I have entertained living in Japan again, but Japan is generally not a queer/trans friendly countries so I don’t think going back there is a good idea.

I am questioning and doubting the entire Triple Gem and feel lost.

I do want to awaken in this lifetime and my gender transition has come into focus now, so I think need to focus on transitioning and then I can focus on the Dharma again.

I feel like I can no longer be a part of my current community, even if I were to come back in the future because I would still be a minority and isolated.

If anyone has any suggestions on keeping up my Dharma practice, where to move to and how to go about with my gender transitioning, please let me know.

I know this was a long post and that this is a complicated situation and wanted to explain the context, so thank you so much for reading and helping me.

tl;dr: I am a resident nun in a Buddhist community in rural Canada, but I need to leave because I came out as transgender, and the community isn’t welcoming anymore. How do I keep up Dharma and transition, and where do I go?

Hi all,

I’m just wondering how other trans Buddhists think about relative and absolute (conventional / ultimate) truth in terms of trans identity?

In day to day life I feel I just be myself, and I don’t particularly think about gender, but, in the relative / conventional reality of the world, I transitioned to female, and in that sense I do identify as female.

However, as a Buddhist I also feel that ultimately (in ultimate reality / truth) male and female are empty, and so ultimately I have no view.

I know that these are two ways of seeing the same thing, but I’m wondering how to balance these ways of seeing the world in everyday life.

Recently, I’ve been needing to deal with bureaucracy more, and consequently to some extent defend my female identity in the conventional / relative truth of the world in which I live. But, as a Buddhist I’ve found myself wanting to explain to people (who aren’t Buddhists) that ultimately I think people should just be themselves and not be too attached to concepts, as ultimately concepts are empty.

And now I’m wondering how do the rest of you balance these things in your minds? (Identity as a particular gender in your day to day lived life in conventional reality, versus the thought that ultimately concepts are empty, and to be too attached to them can be a source of suffering)?

Thanks for any thoughts.

So when ever I’m approached by someone asking for money or someone on the street I always give what ever change I have, i see it as I don’t need it and you do so here take it. I get nothing out of it. But today a man I had giving money to approached me again this time asking for more money but specific amounts, he was crying and even gave me an unwarranted hug, this is where I started to not really feel safe at all especially as a trans woman, I kind of felt manipulated and told them I could get some change but he didn’t want change just £10, I try to give but when it’s specific amounts and the amounts get larger each times it raises a lot of red flags. I’d really like some advice please on better to approach these kind of situations many thanks

Edit: title should say what to do

Namo Buddhaya, hope you are all doing well. I have come here to ask other trans Buddhists, specifically any theravadins, if getting ordained while being trans mtf is valid? I have been a theravadin for over a year now and have studied this topic quite alot but always get this feeling of being invalid in the community. This could be due to my past catholic experience or it could be due to the homophobia and transphobia in the theravdadin nations which cloud my judgement. I have heard a variety of statements telling me I am allowed while others say I cannot and tbh it scares me because I love this faith and I would love to ordain but again I fear I may be invalid and possibly discriminated against by this tradition. Thank you.

How would, say, a non-binary person become a monastic in buddhism because of the separate sets of rules for men and women? Have there been any groups that have found solutions to this question to allow people outside the gender binary to become monks?

Heyy y'all. so im really wanting to read some books about buddism to start, i was wondering if any of you have some recs for me? really apreciated your time!!! be safe <3

Hi everyone! I’m a transman looking to buy my first binder, and I’m looking for recommendations. I’m looking for one that is cost-friendly, comfortable, and long-lasting. I’m 5’5” and weigh about 200 pounds, with a larger chest and stomach

Hello! First id like to state I’m newer to Buddhism also younger! and always learning, I hope that none of my questions are offensive nor considered obvious! I also am aware it differs in status such as a monk and a lay person.

One. Are we allowed to curse and argue ? I know we are supposed to refrain from hateful speech so I’m thinking that means cursing too and also I’ve heard rumors about all Buddhists meaning to be peaceful so I assumed that we refrain from arguing and instead discussing

Two. (I’ve asked this before but I’m double checking) are we allowed sexual fantasies and interactions? (ex. reading, intercourse, sex conversation)

Three. I’ve also assumed we are to be selfless but can we also care for ourselves and receive help? such as therapy and online support (so that we can become better and treat others even better, but also bettering ourselves?)

Four. (Please don’t scold me, I’m genuinely concerned) Do we have to always act a certain way or have a certain personality? I don’t mean to be offensive nor stereotypical since as I said, I’d like to commit but I haven’t met any buddhists who seemed to not be nice and quiet without interest. I could be wrong, please educate me :)

Five. Are there any holidays in buddhism that you know of? Or celebrations. I’d like to celebrate if I can in person with community or even on my own, giving respect!

If I think of anymore I’ll add them! I just want to be aware since these all kind of affect my daily life and I’d like to be committed.

Edit: I added one more I forgot!

Is it possible? We aren’t supposed to get attached and are to refrain from lust. I’m fairly new so I’m still trying to sort everything out but I’d like to know if you can

I came from the Buddhist subreddit and everyone seems so transphobic and is explaining how it would go against Buddhism and the practices since you’re acknowledging a sort of self but then there are people on the flip side stating that Buddha was equally feminine and masculine and that gender is a feeling and not an attachment?

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Hello Everyone!

I'm a member of the committee that is setting up a conference at Harvard Divinity School this coming March, with the title "Burning Refuge: Buddhism and Social-Spiritual Liberation." For this conference, we will be covering these themes below (but not limited to):

1. Race, White Supremacy, and Colonialism
2. Sex, Gender & Queer/Trans Being
3. Capitalism & Labor
4. Technology, AI & Meta-Narratives of Progress
5. Environmental Justice, Animal Liberation & Deep Ecology

The conference is completely free of charge to attend either virtually in-person at Harvard Divinity School. We are also currently accepting abstracts and paper proposal submissions. If you would like to know more information such as regarding our speakers, themes, or schedule, please visit us at our website! The forms for registration and paper submissions can also be found on the site as well. There will also be a "Contact Us" page in the navigation bar in case you have any questions.

Thank you! Metta 🙏

I’d like to preface this by saying I’m not a buddhist but that buddhism deeply interests me, mainly because of the way it conceptualizes the universe and the gods and the ritualistic aspects of it.

However i have some issues with what i currently view to be buddhist philosophy and so hopefully by discussing it with buddhists my misunderstandings can be ironed out.

One of my main problems comes from how buddhism conceptualizes thirst/craving/desire/tanha and how that relates to being trans. So gender dysphoria can largely be labeled under tanha as it is a desire that leads to unpleasant mental states and thereby dukkha, right? However wouldn’t transitioning be considered giving into materialistic desires and from a buddhist perspective bad because it would dissuade from following the dharma by giving a trans person impermanent, samsaric happiness? Beyond that, doesn’t one have to abandon gender identity to become enlightened? Like the soma sutta says, “One to whom it might occur, 'I'm a woman' or 'I'm a man' Or 'I'm anything at all' — Is fit for Mara to address”. Isn’t transitioning clinging to an impermanent identity and therefore to be avoided entirely, in favor of complete disassociation from your present body? Isn’t disgust towards your present body something a dharma practitioner should cultivate?

Thanks in advance. As a trans woman myself, this philosophical question has been bothering me.

If there is no inherent self, then surely an attractive pull to change the self is just an aesthetic temptation, and serves no real function? I feel like I want to live as a trans person, but I don't feel dysphoria, so it's not like I can justify that it causes me suffering to live as I am - I don't feel like I was born in the wrong body, I just wish I was male. I don't know, I'm not even sure what the point of this post is. Just looking to see how others live, I guess?

I've started listening to an Alan Watts talk and he explains the concept of "Attachment to Ideas" by giving as an example attachment to a gender binary.:

But if you take a point of view and insist that's the only point of view than your hangup on it. If for example you take the point of view that there are only two kinds of human beings man and women and either you are a man or you are a women: That's a hangup because actually we vary a great deal. There are men who have much more feminine elements in them than others and there are women that have much more masculine elements in them than other women and so there is an enormous variation but as so long as you insist that black is black and white is white [...] it's a hangup

As a note: Alan Watts died in 1973.

Hello! I'm Nikki (she/her) and I'm closeted due to my parents being heavily transphobic. I've recently found buddhism and wanted to live by its teachings but I find that I can't follow the 4th precept (refraining from non-truthful speech/lying) because if I actually spoke the truth about myself, I'd probably get mentally/verbally abused even more than I am. I'm just counting down the days until I'm old enough to move out. What can I do to deal with this?

I hope you have a good week

Sending love <3

I hope you have a great week!

Sending love <3

Since there seems to be some interest in making this a more active sub, how about an intro thread?

I'm sure we're a great mix of folks, so let's tell each other about ourselves & how we got here. If you're Buddhist, which tradition are you following? If you're not, what draws you to Buddhism? If you're trans*, maybe a little about your own journey, just whatever you're comfortable with or feels relevant.

Looking forward to getting to know folks better!