/r/tifucirclejerk

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Christian subreddit! Come here when your erotica is too FRIKKED to post elsewhere!!

Christian subreddit! Come here when your erotica is too FRIKKED to post elsewhere!!

/r/tifucirclejerk

6,562 Subscribers

2

TIFU by showing my coworker a photo of my tits

1 Comment
2024/04/16
20:22 UTC

11

TIFU shitting in public

I, 16F, am so ashamed. I have a wee smoking habit, and my school, obviously, doesn't allow it. I don't have the privacy at my house, so I get high in the bathrooms before school, at lunch, and after school. My big secret is taking a dump while smoking, if I know the scent will stick around. Therefore, one could tell someone was vaping, yet not who...

Today at lunch, I went to the bathroom, as per usual. Whipped out my j, sat down, and guess what? As soon the first load dropped, the most popular girl at school came in. With her whole possè, they all crowded in the big stall next to me. I tried to be quiet, but the diarrhea hit sooo bad. I was squirting louder than your mom! Lolll

They finally heard and were giggling, but I didn't care! Until they told my bf...to which he took the information and proceeded to change my name in his phone to "mad pooper".

TDLR: I pooped.

2 Comments
2024/02/23
23:46 UTC

23

TIFU

TIFU for accidentally making out with my homie when my gf was at a party. Lets get this started, I, 28M have a girlfriend, Hannah, 26M. She went to a party last night and i was basically the only one in the house. I get bored really easily so i invited my homie lets call him Josh, 27M. Me and Josh are really close and best buddies. Hannah went to a party with her co workers and i was alone with Josh. I had some drinks in the fridge i havent drunk yet but since my homie was here i thought it was the perfect time to drink with him. We drank and drank and we got really drunk. After some moments of farting around we kinda got turned on and Josh pulled me in for a kiss. From a kiss it transformed into a make-out session. How do i explain this to my gf? I think i might also start liking Josh.

6 Comments
2024/02/22
23:15 UTC

16

TIFU how do people come up with this shit

3 Comments
2023/08/09
06:30 UTC

9

TIFU a post that admits it isn't real???

1 Comment
2023/08/06
23:55 UTC

24

TIFU by having steaming intense wizard roleplay sex with my smoking hot huge boobs girlfriend 😏💦

1 Comment
2023/06/24
23:40 UTC

17

TIFU when my incontinence underwear got eaten by a Roomba during sex

I’ve had three kids and have been diagnosed with a prolapsed bladder. Basically incontinence. I’m scheduling surgery. I am 40, divorced and definitely enjoy mingling. In an effort to mitigate the embarrassment of incontinence, I started wearing Knix brand underwear, the period underwear! They also market them as great for incontinence. Also, the ones I have are super cute. Like black, silk thong, and they just have a bit of padding and they work tremendously well. I encourage any woman to check them out if this is an issue for you. Anyway, I now live several states away from where I grew up, but I go home a lot, because my family still lives in my home state. I had a trip planned to visit my mom, so I reached out to a friend from high school to see if he wanted to get together. Now, I hadn’t seen him in 22 years, but we’d flirted through social media and actually had a plan to meet up about 18 months ago when I was home, but he got Covid. So, on a whim, I messaged him saying I was going to be in town. He was game and said I def should come over. We both knew what this was. We wanted to get laid. I had just gotten out of an exclusive relationship of several months so I was ready to get back in the saddle. I shaved my legs, got ready, and put on a beautiful black floral bra and cute black thong underwear. And they were def Knix, because honestly things are bad and I’m too scared to wear anything else. But they’re super cute and I told myself he wouldn’t notice. Well, I get to his house, things progress well, and in his bedroom I start throwing my clothes onto the floor, including my incontinence thong. So the deed happens. When it’s time for me to get dressed, I realize my thong is missing. I look high and low. Finally, I say, uh, I can’t find my underwear. He starts looking and then says uh-oh. I die inside. I walked over to him and he’s holding his roomba, with my fucking incontinence thong wrapped so far and complicated into it. I die. So he starts to take the roomba apart to get my precious underwear and his hands are all over everything and I’m freaking out, hoping he doesn’t notice the additional padding. I literally want the floor to swallow me. He can’t get them out. I panic and say, I would say that you could cut them, but they’re really expensive underwear. Because they are! But I realize how weird that was to say now. Finally he gets my underwear out. I slip them on, leave and we haven’t spoken since. TL;DR If a roomba tries to eat your incontinence thong, you might be getting a little old for random, casual sex.

2 Comments
2023/06/12
19:41 UTC

2

TIFU

1 Comment
2023/06/12
10:46 UTC

7

TIFU By Checking My Dads Phone

You red the title back story we are a family of four I am the youngest of the family I have an older sister 25 and my mom and dad are both in their 50s to keep a short through out the years we had our suspicion that are dad might be cheating on our mom when I was 11 I found a women’s earring in my dads car that wasn’t my moms I even remember seeing texts between her and other women and in the whole years of living together we were never allowed to touch my dads phone NEVER but years past and I genuinely never thought anything of it I guess it was because he was such a good dad he was always loving caring and provided for us what we needed but yesterday we were in a restaurant with our family and I was on tiktok as I was scrolling down I saw that a new account came for me which was my dads I opened hes account and saw he was already following two people I checked and saw they were both women’s and they were in our country I got paranoid coming up with excuses thinking maybe he just wants to watch these type of stuff but oh boy was I wrong so I took my moms phone checking if he follows them on Instagram and he followed one of them I went inside her page she was an Ukrainian women at that point I just wanted to make sure so I asked to have his phone pretended like I was on his settings but I went to his Instagram and I went to his dms and I saw it His texts with that women scheduling times with her and another women , red hearts , him complementing her and all kinds of stuff I returned his phone at this point I felt sick and went out of the restaurant I was crying and called my sister she said throughout the years she had her suspicions too and that she always kinda knew that he was doing this problem is she wants me not to say anything she said that it will ruin our life and now that their in their 50s we should just let it go but how can I? I can never look at this man the same again he’s been cheating on my mom for years maybe even from the start of their marriage?? So people pls help me I need to know should I tell my mother ? Is it wrong for me not to say anything now that I know ? Should I really just let it be and ignore ???? Pretending we have our great life’s that has been based on lies for years :(

1 Comment
2023/06/07
03:49 UTC

10

TIFU by the accident was 15 years ago, you have to let go, it wasn't your fault

3 Comments
2023/05/23
21:31 UTC

36

TIFU by shitting myself in my friends apartment (and accidentally fucking his step sister.......)

(THIS DIDNT HAPPEN TODAY. IT HAPPENED 4 YEARS AGO) me (20 M) and my friend (21 M) where hanging out, and I shit myself as loudly as possible. like really loud. and I went to the bathroom, and saw his step sister naked bent over on the sink, and she said "Bob, FUCK ME HARD RIGHT NOW." and I was fucking her as hard as I could, and I screamed as loudly as I could while cumming, and I shit myself even more! and then my friend lets call him T. and T walks in the room screaming at the top of his lungs "WHAT THE FUCK BOB? STOP FUCKING MY SISTER" I kept on screaming "I AM GOING TO SHIT-CUM!" as loudly as I could, and then the police where called on me, T, and his step sister. and T got arrested for ejactulating illegally and he said "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT BOB, YOU SHOULD NEVER FUCK YOUR FRIENDS STEP SISTER." and we are no longer friends, I dated his step sister for 4 years and then married her and then had sex and had 3 kids, every time I came I was bohemian hollering. and now I have a happy family, but T is still angry TL;DR I shit myself and fucked his step sister on accident.

3 Comments
2023/05/18
08:55 UTC

16

TIFU in things that didn't happen for £500

7 Comments
2023/05/01
11:41 UTC

32

Tifu Accidentally drank my own piss

Just smoked my morning joint and was looking for a decent beverage, but I accidentally drank a big ol gulp of my own piss bc I was too lazy to walk 2 flights of stairs last night so I relieved myself in a cup. Will I become ill?

8 Comments
2023/03/13
15:51 UTC

26

TIFU by going on a solo hike in a remote forest at night and getting lured into a trap by Peter Griffin's laugh

.

Last night, I decided to go on a solo hike in a remote forest to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the wilderness. Everything was going well until I heard a sound that chilled me to the bone - it was the sound of Peter Griffin's laugh from my favorite TV show, Family Guy.

I was confused and uneasy, but I brushed it off as my imagination playing tricks on me. However, as I walked deeper into the forest, the laughter grew louder and more menacing. I tried to turn around and head back, but it was too late. I had been lured into a trap.

The trees around me rustled and shook, and the laughter grew even louder. I tried to run, but my feet felt heavy as if they were trapped in quicksand. The laughter grew louder and more maniacal, and I felt as if I was being chased by something evil.

I stumbled through the dark forest, trying to get away from the sound of Peter Griffin's laugh. But it was no use - I finally caught a glimpse of a figure in the distance, and it was Peter Griffin himself, his eyes glowing red with malice and his grin twisted into a demonic snarl.

He let out a final, ear-splitting laugh, and I knew it was over. I had been lured into the forest by the sound of his laugh, and now I was trapped forever.

I screamed and screamed, but my cries were drowned out by the sound of Peter Griffin's laughter echoing through the trees. I'm lucky to be alive, but I'll never forget the terror of that night.

3 Comments
2023/02/19
12:48 UTC

46

TIFU by using an AI to write my post for me

TIFU by using an AI to write my post for me. I thought it would save me some time, but it ended up causing more trouble than it was worth. I posted a comment on a thread and it ended up being flagged as spam by the moderation team. They told me that my comment was too similar to others that had been posted before and it looked like I was trying to game the system. I didn't realize that using an AI to write my comments would make them come across as spammy. I've learned my lesson and I'll make sure to write my own posts from now on.

Written by ChatGPT

1 Comment
2023/01/24
06:24 UTC

19

TIFU by almost going to jail

I had the most outrageous TIFU moment of my life a few months ago. I was driving home from work and I saw a person walking on the side of the road. I slowed down and started to move over to give them plenty of room, but before I knew it, I felt a bump and heard a loud thud. I immediately pulled over and got out of the car to see what had happened. To my surprise, I saw that the person I had just passed was lying on the ground and wasn't moving. I couldn't believe it. I rushed over to them and called 911, but they were unresponsive. The ambulance arrived a few minutes later and took the person away. I was in a state of shock and couldn't believe what had happened. I had no idea how I could have hit someone. I had been paying attention to the road and I was driving at a reasonable speed. I still don't know how it happened. I spent the rest of the day at the police station answering questions and trying to make sense of what had happened. But to be honest, I didn't really feel that bad about it. I mean, accidents happen, right? I figured the person I hit would be fine and I didn't really see the big deal. A few days later, I received the news that the person I had hit had died from their injuries. I was shocked, but I still didn't really feel that bad about it. I mean, it was an accident and I couldn't help it. I was eventually charged with reckless driving and involuntary manslaughter. I hired a lawyer and went to court, but I still didn't really feel that guilty. I mean, I didn't mean to hit the person and it wasn't like I was trying to kill them or anything. I was sentenced to probation and community service and I just shrugged it off. It was the most outrageous TIFU moment of my life and I didn't really see what the fuss was about

1 Comment
2022/12/21
14:20 UTC

31

TIFU troll post that no one seems to recognize. Check the guys account

5 Comments
2022/11/22
15:34 UTC

37

TIFU by following my dick

2 Comments
2022/11/19
20:50 UTC

22

TIFU By allowing my jealous cousin use my laptop

1 Comment
2022/11/18
18:02 UTC

41

TIFU by having an impromptu gangbang with crack and methheads

7 Comments
2022/10/28
12:42 UTC

35

TIFU by rawdogging for 4 days with someone I met on Craigslist

1 Comment
2022/09/13
19:55 UTC

3

TIFU by forgiving my bestfriend of 9 years

edit: I PUT THE WRONG SUB!!! it’s too late now though, i can’t change it

I, (14 female) have a best friend named Jamie, (14 female.) We met in kindergarten and we have gone to the same elementary, middle, and now highschool. Throughout all these years, it has always been me and Jamie and nobody else but recently, Jamie became close with some boy named Mike from our middle school. Jamie and I have hung out with Mike before so it wasn’t like he was a stranger to us but he also wasn’t somebody we would consider a close friend. Well I guess Jamie has been talking to him for god knows how long because recently I found out that they were secretly dating and only one other person knew which was my sister. I was beyond furious and also upset because Jamie was my best friend and out of all people, she told my sister and not me?? And my sister didn’t tell me either? Anyways I told them that I found out and they told me “it isnt my business.” I should’ve ended it right there but I love Jamie and i can’t end something with my sister so I let it slide.

Fast forward a couple months from when I found out, I remembered that I had Jamie’s snapchat password. She was grounded at the time so i could go through whatever i wanted. I tried to look at her and Mikes messages or her and my sisters message but they were all deleted. I looked at messages she had with this other girl named Kayla because they just started getting closer and I wanted to see what it was all about. I looked and her and Kayla had been talking about me. Obviously I couldn’t say anything about it to her because they would make me a bad friend for going through her messages while she was grounded so I just let it slide again.

Fast forward another couple months, school had just started and I was having a sleepover with Jamie at my house. We were on my couch in my living room and she started talking about how Mike was moving away after this school year and how she was gonna be so sad and have nobody to talk to (mind you that her and Mike were texting 24/7 everyday even while she was talking about that to me and they would face time every night to fall asleep on the phone). I just listened to her and when she finished ranting these were the exact words I said to her.

“If i’m being honest with you, the only person in life I am really jealous of is Mike.”

she then asked me if it was because of how much they talked to each other and i obviously said yes. i told her that my bestfriend who i used to have was gone and it hurts me a lot to know that she would pick a boy who she has known for barely a year over me in a heartbeat. her eyes started watering and she pulled me in to lay on her chest while she played with my hair and told me that i am basically not even one of her friends and that i am so much more than that. she said that i am like her family and she would pick me over him anyway and that she would honestly choose me over her sister too. she started crying mid sentence which also brought me to tears and i knew she was telling the truth because i have never ever seen her cry before cause she hates crying infront of people.

even though i knew she wasn’t lying, i just can never bring myself to believe her. that may make me seem like im a bad friend but if u saw mike and jamie together you would understnad too. anyways, i forgave her for everything that she has ever done to me and i regret it so bad.

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5 Comments
2022/09/06
21:11 UTC

132

Fellow tifu circlejerkers, I think we’ve been beat. Wrap it up boys, no way we can top this.

5 Comments
2022/09/03
17:29 UTC

51

TIFU by using boiled eggs to masturbate

5 Comments
2022/07/28
03:17 UTC

20

TIFU by sending a "DTF" to an old friend

I have been trying to stay in contact with old friends recently and picked up the habit of replying to their Instagram stories. I would ask about what they are doing and stuff.

I come across this friend who posted a IG story of her meal, it was dumplings and a bowl of soup at a restaurant. Seeing the nice quality of the dumplings, I tried guessing where the place is.

For some background information, I live in Singapore where we tend to turn abbreviate many words. One very common example that everyone knows is "HDL" which means "Hai Di Lao", a hotpot restaurant many people in Singapore love. So it was common to call restaurants in their abbreviations, Macs, HDL, SLF (Another hotpot place).

So with that, I sent her "DTF?". I meant Din Tai Fung which is a nice dumpling place. I reply to IG stories very quickly and sent it without a second thought.

Few days later I get added into a groupchat, the groupchat contained my old friend's friends who I barely know. The first message sent was "Do you know why you are here?".

I replied idk because I forgot about the DTF message. Then came the shit storm of 4 people absolutely destroying me, calling me a douche bag who thinks he can just hit up old friend no biggy like they are always down to fuck. I told them my DTF meant Din Tai Fung but they thought I was trying to lie my way out. I kept trying to convince them, showing them why I sent DTF.

It was going nowhere and I couldn't find anyway to back myself up because the only message was DTF and nothing else. Eventually they stopped and kicked me out of the groupchat. They are probably off somewhere still talking shit while I just lost a good friend of mine all because of a fucking abbreviation.

TL;DR I send DTF or more commonly known as "Down to fuck?" to a old friend from my previous school. Got dragged into a groupchat as some “intervention" and got berated for 45 minutes before being kicked out.

3 Comments
2022/07/20
12:10 UTC

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