i found an escort i lied about my age i paid 250 i did get refunded 50 so thats a little better

it was my first time and i didnt cum and it was really awkward i just got circumcised last week so i couldnt even cum if i wanted to worst mistake of my life im never going to a trans escort or any escort again

it was my first time in any sexual stuff and i wernt meant to have sex until 4weeks cause of circumcison im on 2week

Last weekend, I planned to go to the pumpkin patch with my girlfriend and her younger sister. The day before, my girlfriend and I were texting, and one thing led to another, resulting in me sending explicit pictures. The next day, I met them at my girlfriend’s place, and we headed to the pumpkin patch. Once we got there, my girlfriend asked her sister to take a picture of us. I suggested we use my phone because it has better camera quality. I handed her my phone, and she took the picture.

After she gave it back, I started scrolling through the photos and realized that the last picture I had taken was a photo of my meat. I immediately started panicking internally but tried to keep my composure. The rest of the day went on as normal, but I’m almost certain her sister saw the photo of my penis, and now I don’t know how to handle the situation.

T;R:DR I went to the pumpkin patch with my girlfriend and her younger sister. I handed my phone to her sister to take a picture of us, but realized later that the last photo in my camera roll was an explicit one. I’m worried she might have seen it and don’t know how to handle the situation.

Yeah I screwed up. I used to work at an adult toy store and thought I knew it all. I was insanely humbled today because I just bought a $100 sex toy that I can’t even use on my anatomy cause I thought it was something else. Gods I’m so stupid😭😭😭 now I’m out $100!!!! Uggghhh like I literally can’t even use it and honestly was so excited but now I can’t and I have no one to give to. I also have no idea how tf to sell it either. I’m so mad at myself and pissed cause that’s a lot of money for me. It would’ve been fine if it was what I thought it was but it it’s not.

Ok so me (3m) saw a video of Andrew tate doung the griddy and thugging it out and so I decided to try it for myself, but when I did I slipped on the oil that my (242m) grandson used to oil up himself to yesterday that evening today in the afternoon after breakfast at 3:AM while waiting for sunrise, it turns out he actually challenged Mrbeast to a game of Fortnighte and won because Mrbeast actually had a brain aneoursym right before the 1v1 started, so Mrbest gave him 100 Morbillion Zimbabwe non-inflanted dollars, and with that money he bought oil, went back to my house... But now the unfortunate part comes, when he was carrying the oil my grandson had a severe and continous lapse in judgement and dropped it all on the floor. Yesterday on that day specifically prevoius to the day that it happened where it all happened I went to school (actually I lie'd I'm still in kindergarten pls no ban me I apologzie for my mistaek) and a teacher told me not to be a sussy baka and stop rizzing and mewing at students, and then I spontaneously remembered the hit game "Among Us" initially released in 2018 and created by the American game development studio "Innersloth". After I got home from my 1,282781871 hour mine craft gamplay walkthrough tutorial session I finally went home and started playing "Among Us", and that's where it all happened. I slipped and my gyatt acidentally got oiled up. I went back home feeling a sense of accomplishment and extreme depression and having mild thoughts of drinking 0,33549 Liters of water, it felt so surreal I even asked chat a couple o time if it is real, and next day I watched the min Craft movie traeler i thought it was very skibidi LOL LMAO ROFL

My brain was feeling quite dead by the end of the day so I ended up putting fabric softener in my activewear load. Is there any way I can rescue the moisture wicking in my compression shirts and dri fit clothes?

So let me start off my saying this didn’t happen today, but 25 years ago.

So I (22M) was an intern at a power plant (121F) and one day the chemist (60M) wasn’t there. I work with him a lot and one day I really needed to shit but couldn’t find the bathroom in the lab. He wasn’t there that day so I decided to take a shit in the chemicals so they’d dissolve. This was a mistake and that shit started foaming. I darted out of there and am now hiding in the bathroom scared out of my mind. Chat, am I cooked?

Not to mention I jizzed on the steam lines (29M) but I was only in middle school then.

TLDR: I shit in chemicals. Brain go poo poo

EDIT: -1 upvotes?? I didn’t think this post would get so big! Hello r/all!!

I need 2000 profile visits and needs to be unique too. pls help me and just open these all links given below.

https://techcommunity.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://startups.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://social.technet.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://social.msdn.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://learn.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://developer.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://devblogs.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://code.visualstudio.com/docs?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://cloudblogs.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594 https://azure.microsoft.com/?wt.mc_id=studentamb_311594

TIFU for accidentally making out with my homie when my gf was at a party. Lets get this started, I, 28M have a girlfriend, Hannah, 26M. She went to a party last night and i was basically the only one in the house. I get bored really easily so i invited my homie lets call him Josh, 27M. Me and Josh are really close and best buddies. Hannah went to a party with her co workers and i was alone with Josh. I had some drinks in the fridge i havent drunk yet but since my homie was here i thought it was the perfect time to drink with him. We drank and drank and we got really drunk. After some moments of farting around we kinda got turned on and Josh pulled me in for a kiss. From a kiss it transformed into a make-out session. How do i explain this to my gf? I think i might also start liking Josh.

I’ve had three kids and have been diagnosed with a prolapsed bladder. Basically incontinence. I’m scheduling surgery. I am 40, divorced and definitely enjoy mingling. In an effort to mitigate the embarrassment of incontinence, I started wearing Knix brand underwear, the period underwear! They also market them as great for incontinence. Also, the ones I have are super cute. Like black, silk thong, and they just have a bit of padding and they work tremendously well. I encourage any woman to check them out if this is an issue for you. Anyway, I now live several states away from where I grew up, but I go home a lot, because my family still lives in my home state. I had a trip planned to visit my mom, so I reached out to a friend from high school to see if he wanted to get together. Now, I hadn’t seen him in 22 years, but we’d flirted through social media and actually had a plan to meet up about 18 months ago when I was home, but he got Covid. So, on a whim, I messaged him saying I was going to be in town. He was game and said I def should come over. We both knew what this was. We wanted to get laid. I had just gotten out of an exclusive relationship of several months so I was ready to get back in the saddle. I shaved my legs, got ready, and put on a beautiful black floral bra and cute black thong underwear. And they were def Knix, because honestly things are bad and I’m too scared to wear anything else. But they’re super cute and I told myself he wouldn’t notice. Well, I get to his house, things progress well, and in his bedroom I start throwing my clothes onto the floor, including my incontinence thong. So the deed happens. When it’s time for me to get dressed, I realize my thong is missing. I look high and low. Finally, I say, uh, I can’t find my underwear. He starts looking and then says uh-oh. I die inside. I walked over to him and he’s holding his roomba, with my fucking incontinence thong wrapped so far and complicated into it. I die. So he starts to take the roomba apart to get my precious underwear and his hands are all over everything and I’m freaking out, hoping he doesn’t notice the additional padding. I literally want the floor to swallow me. He can’t get them out. I panic and say, I would say that you could cut them, but they’re really expensive underwear. Because they are! But I realize how weird that was to say now. Finally he gets my underwear out. I slip them on, leave and we haven’t spoken since. TL;DR If a roomba tries to eat your incontinence thong, you might be getting a little old for random, casual sex.

You red the title back story we are a family of four I am the youngest of the family I have an older sister 25 and my mom and dad are both in their 50s to keep a short through out the years we had our suspicion that are dad might be cheating on our mom when I was 11 I found a women’s earring in my dads car that wasn’t my moms I even remember seeing texts between her and other women and in the whole years of living together we were never allowed to touch my dads phone NEVER but years past and I genuinely never thought anything of it I guess it was because he was such a good dad he was always loving caring and provided for us what we needed but yesterday we were in a restaurant with our family and I was on tiktok as I was scrolling down I saw that a new account came for me which was my dads I opened hes account and saw he was already following two people I checked and saw they were both women’s and they were in our country I got paranoid coming up with excuses thinking maybe he just wants to watch these type of stuff but oh boy was I wrong so I took my moms phone checking if he follows them on Instagram and he followed one of them I went inside her page she was an Ukrainian women at that point I just wanted to make sure so I asked to have his phone pretended like I was on his settings but I went to his Instagram and I went to his dms and I saw it His texts with that women scheduling times with her and another women , red hearts , him complementing her and all kinds of stuff I returned his phone at this point I felt sick and went out of the restaurant I was crying and called my sister she said throughout the years she had her suspicions too and that she always kinda knew that he was doing this problem is she wants me not to say anything she said that it will ruin our life and now that their in their 50s we should just let it go but how can I? I can never look at this man the same again he’s been cheating on my mom for years maybe even from the start of their marriage?? So people pls help me I need to know should I tell my mother ? Is it wrong for me not to say anything now that I know ? Should I really just let it be and ignore ???? Pretending we have our great life’s that has been based on lies for years :(

(THIS DIDNT HAPPEN TODAY. IT HAPPENED 4 YEARS AGO) me (20 M) and my friend (21 M) where hanging out, and I shit myself as loudly as possible. like really loud. and I went to the bathroom, and saw his step sister naked bent over on the sink, and she said "Bob, FUCK ME HARD RIGHT NOW." and I was fucking her as hard as I could, and I screamed as loudly as I could while cumming, and I shit myself even more! and then my friend lets call him T. and T walks in the room screaming at the top of his lungs "WHAT THE FUCK BOB? STOP FUCKING MY SISTER" I kept on screaming "I AM GOING TO SHIT-CUM!" as loudly as I could, and then the police where called on me, T, and his step sister. and T got arrested for ejactulating illegally and he said "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT BOB, YOU SHOULD NEVER FUCK YOUR FRIENDS STEP SISTER." and we are no longer friends, I dated his step sister for 4 years and then married her and then had sex and had 3 kids, every time I came I was bohemian hollering. and now I have a happy family, but T is still angry TL;DR I shit myself and fucked his step sister on accident.

Just smoked my morning joint and was looking for a decent beverage, but I accidentally drank a big ol gulp of my own piss bc I was too lazy to walk 2 flights of stairs last night so I relieved myself in a cup. Will I become ill?

.

Last night, I decided to go on a solo hike in a remote forest to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the wilderness. Everything was going well until I heard a sound that chilled me to the bone - it was the sound of Peter Griffin's laugh from my favorite TV show, Family Guy.

I was confused and uneasy, but I brushed it off as my imagination playing tricks on me. However, as I walked deeper into the forest, the laughter grew louder and more menacing. I tried to turn around and head back, but it was too late. I had been lured into a trap.

The trees around me rustled and shook, and the laughter grew even louder. I tried to run, but my feet felt heavy as if they were trapped in quicksand. The laughter grew louder and more maniacal, and I felt as if I was being chased by something evil.

I stumbled through the dark forest, trying to get away from the sound of Peter Griffin's laugh. But it was no use - I finally caught a glimpse of a figure in the distance, and it was Peter Griffin himself, his eyes glowing red with malice and his grin twisted into a demonic snarl.

He let out a final, ear-splitting laugh, and I knew it was over. I had been lured into the forest by the sound of his laugh, and now I was trapped forever.

I screamed and screamed, but my cries were drowned out by the sound of Peter Griffin's laughter echoing through the trees. I'm lucky to be alive, but I'll never forget the terror of that night.

TIFU by using an AI to write my post for me. I thought it would save me some time, but it ended up causing more trouble than it was worth. I posted a comment on a thread and it ended up being flagged as spam by the moderation team. They told me that my comment was too similar to others that had been posted before and it looked like I was trying to game the system. I didn't realize that using an AI to write my comments would make them come across as spammy. I've learned my lesson and I'll make sure to write my own posts from now on.

Written by ChatGPT

I had the most outrageous TIFU moment of my life a few months ago. I was driving home from work and I saw a person walking on the side of the road. I slowed down and started to move over to give them plenty of room, but before I knew it, I felt a bump and heard a loud thud. I immediately pulled over and got out of the car to see what had happened. To my surprise, I saw that the person I had just passed was lying on the ground and wasn't moving. I couldn't believe it. I rushed over to them and called 911, but they were unresponsive. The ambulance arrived a few minutes later and took the person away. I was in a state of shock and couldn't believe what had happened. I had no idea how I could have hit someone. I had been paying attention to the road and I was driving at a reasonable speed. I still don't know how it happened. I spent the rest of the day at the police station answering questions and trying to make sense of what had happened. But to be honest, I didn't really feel that bad about it. I mean, accidents happen, right? I figured the person I hit would be fine and I didn't really see the big deal. A few days later, I received the news that the person I had hit had died from their injuries. I was shocked, but I still didn't really feel that bad about it. I mean, it was an accident and I couldn't help it. I was eventually charged with reckless driving and involuntary manslaughter. I hired a lawyer and went to court, but I still didn't really feel that guilty. I mean, I didn't mean to hit the person and it wasn't like I was trying to kill them or anything. I was sentenced to probation and community service and I just shrugged it off. It was the most outrageous TIFU moment of my life and I didn't really see what the fuss was about