This story happened to a coworker so I don't have all the details, but as a heads up where I work its a small local freshwater fish store that accepts surrenders.

A man came into the store twenty minutes or so before we close with three 5 gallon buckets full of fish. He says he is done with the hobby and he broke down his 75 gallon tank this morning and he wants us to have his fish. Whats the catch? He put the fish in the buckets over three hours ago and the just... left them... outside... Inside the three buckets were 50+ living comet goldfish (all between 3"-6") and 6 medium (4"-6") dead frontosa. Upon seeing them dead he freaked out and started laughing saying "its fine you guys can bring them back, right?"

If you know nothing about fish, the bare minimum to know about the fish I named is that those two species are not exactly known as compatible, and the quantity of fish meant his tank had been hugely overstocked. People like this who use fish as nothing more than a decoration and are unwilling to give them a proper and healthy home are the exact people that should never be allowed to keep fish.

Leaving almost 60 fish in three 5 gallon buckets for three hours in the sun is blatant neglect and abuse and the only thing that surprises me is that there were some fish that survived being boiled in what became an ammonia bath and only came out with illnesses and ammonia burns that needed weeks to treat.

These will be short because, well, they're short little stories.

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Strawberry: Baby Pigeon

So the other day, a lady came into my store with a box. In the box was a partially feathered baby pigeon. Apparently, where she works, there's a lot of wild pigeons. She always thought that they looked cute and knew them to be smart. She decided to rescue this pigeon that had fallen out of the nest, nurse it back to health, and build an aviary (yeah, a full aviary) for this little guy and maybe take in any other fallen babies she comes across.

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Lemon: Ornaments

So we all know that the aquatic ornaments get destroyed every day. People feel the need to rearrange them on the shelves. This customer decided they wanted the big ornament in our display tank. Okay. No worries. My boss pulled it out for her. He went to help someone else and came back to find the ornament just sitting on a shelf while she was pulling another ornament out of another tank. Really? He helps her again and puts the first ornament back. You know, so it doesn't fall and break. Comes back to find ornament 2 sitting on a box for a tank while lady is grabbing a third ornament! Like, come on. Helps her again. When he comes back again, ornament 3 is on the floor in the drive aisle with lady no where in sight. Really, people?

Remember: lemons (bad stories) and strawberries (good stories)

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Christmas Puppy (strawberry): A Christmas puppy? A GOOD story? Yeah, I was surprised, too.

It was right after the holidays. We were having people come in shopping for their new puppies and people coming in to shop for their "new" puppies that they were getting in a couple of weeks. Y'all know the drill. I had a mom and a daughter shopping around with new puppy essentials: a couple of toys, a collar, and a small sweater. Mom was looking a little overwhelmed. Daughter was pointing to things as they passed, but was very well behaved otherwise.

Me: Anything I can help you find?

Mom: Oh, we're getting a puppy from a breeder in a couple of weeks. I'm trying to find the food that the breeder is feeding. Brand X? I know it's not that great of a food, but I'm a bit overwhelmed.

Me: Yeah, I can absolutely help you out.

I proceeded to help them find Brand X, help them find a food to switch to that was a better quality, bowls, the works. Dad had already bought potty pads and a crate, so those were covered. At the end of it (maybe 5-7 minutes total?) the mom thanked me so much for all of my help. The daughter said thank you. Overall, a great experience. They've come in a few times since to get more things to spoil this dog. Like seriously, so many toys. Like, all of the toy types. Beds for every room. Yeah. Puppy's got it good.

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Turtle Tank (lemon): Not my story, but stolen from my boss.

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Customer on Phone (C): Hey, do y'all sell turtles?

Boss: Yes we do, but we're currently sold out.

C: Y'all sell turtle tanks?

Boss: Yes we do. Are you needing a full set up or just a bigger tank?

C: I just got this little baby turtle and I think it needs a friend. And a tank. How much are the tanks?

Boss: Well, when we do have turtles, they're a bit bigger than what you have. It's actually illegal to buy and sell turtles that small in the US. (Really, it's a law.)

C: Oh. Well, what about the tanks?

Boss: We've got a 40 gallon starter kit. It comes with everything you'd need.

C: How big is it?

Boss: 40 gallons. About four feet long. About $250.

C: Oh, that's way too big. I just need something small. It's just a baby turtle.

Boss: We have smaller tanks, but you would need to get everything separately. And a baby turtle wouldn't be able to stay in a smaller tank for more than a couple of weeks.

C: Oh, okay. Thanks (Hangs up)

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Bonus! Strawberry lemonade. Not sure if a lemon or a strawberry.

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Years ago, I was a cashier. Every shift. I didn't mind. I got to learn the store. A lady came in and looked at our signs for a few seconds.

Me: Hi! Welcome to STORE.

Lady: Do you know where - oh wait. You're just a cashier.

She walked off to find...whatever.

As stated in my previous post, I'm going to be doing a "strawberries and lemons" approach with my posts. Strawberries are good stories and lemons are bad stories.

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Didn't like my answer (lemon)

Note: My store has cats up for adoption nearly everyday.

So the store I work in receives its supply trucks on Fridays and we work them to floor on Friday and Saturday. This story takes place on a Saturday. I was in an aisle unloading boxes of products to put on the shelves. Normal work on a chaotic Saturday. A lady approaches me.

Lady: Can we go in to pet one of the cats?

Me: Unfortunately, we can't let anyone into the adoption center unless they have an approved application. The papers are by the adoption center.

Lady: Oh. Okay.

She walks off and I get back to work. Nothing out of the ordinary. A few minutes later, a guy walks up to me.

Guy: So my wife said that she wants to go in to pet one of the cats. Can you let us in?

Trying not to get irritated - Me: Unfortunately, I can't let people in unless they have an approved application.

Guy: But we've adopted from here before. Do we need to fill out another application?

Me: Yeah. Every time a cat gets adopted, we need to keep the adoption application with the adoption fee so the rescue can keep track of adoptions.

Guy: But we've adopted from here before. We've been approved before.

Me: I understand, sir, but we need to have that application filled out.

He walks away from me looking annoyed, but whatever. I told the wife where to find the application. I told both of them that they need to have the paper filled out AND approved before I can let them in. Normally at this point, people just drop it. But not them! Over my headset I hear:

Coworker: Hey xWaterKrystalx. I've got a couple here that want to go in to see the cats. They said they've adopted from us before. Can I let them in.

Are. You. Serious. I tell the wife AND the husband. They don't like my answer so they go ask another employee hoping for a different answer. Joke's on you, guys. I'm senior in the store. I kindly tell my coworker about needing the approved application. He passes the info along. They finally fill out an application and get approved. They get to pet the cats and get to take one home. It shows that they did adopt a cat from us. 2 years ago. The rescue we work with now didn't even work with us 2 years ago.

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New Rat Parents (Strawberry)

I have rats. 2 right now. I did have only 1 for a little over a year. Back in August 2021, we had to put her down. Rattata (my solo rat) had a tumor discovered in May 2021 and after a couple of surgeries and rounds of medicine (with the tumor coming back even more aggressively each time), the vet and I decided that putting her down was the best course of action. The next day I went to work. There was a young couple with a kid (maybe 3-4ish). They had recently seen The Suicide Squad or Suicide Squad (I don't know if the movie had The in the title or not. It's which ever one has rats in the movie). They saw how cute and smart rats were, did some research, and decided that rats were a better option than hamsters. They came in to get a pair.

When I said that I had a rat, they asked me a lot of questions about how to make sure the pair that they were buying were happy and healthy. When we got to food, they asked what I fed mine. When we got to treats, they asked what Rattata's favorite were. Same for toys, bedding, litter boxes, etc. Literally everything.

After filling the basket with everything I even remotely mentioned that my rat liked, they asked me more about her as a pet. I told them that I had put her down the day before due to cancer and they started crying with me. They asked that IF I was okay talking about it, would I be willing to talk about the progression of her condition? In case one (or both) of these rats might get cancer one day, they wanted to know what to expect and what could be done to help.

This couple and their well behaved kid made me tear up in the best way possible. They even came back a few weeks later to tell me that the girls were settling in nicely and showed me pictures. Some customers are amazing.

Since no one has posted here in, like, forever, I decided to create an account to bring some life back to this page! I want to (try to) post regularly, and I want to make my posts "strawberries and lemons" - listing one sweet situation and one sour situation. Not everything has to be negative.

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Strawberry: This is a two-part thing. So, before the pandemic, we had a regular dog that came in with his family. For anonymity, I'll call the dog "Fido." Fido came in all the time with his parents. Total regular. Everyone knew him and loved him. He needed his pets and would start to do a little whine if you didn't pet him as soon as you saw him. Due to some circumstances, his family had to move right before the pandemic. A few months ago, they moved back. They were checking out with a cashier and I was walking by. As is expected, I look at the dog they have with them and smile. I love when pets come in.

Then I stopped walking. I literally took a couple of steps backwards and looked at this dog a little closer. I asked the dog, "Is that you, Fido?" His tail started wagging. His mom looked at me and asked, "You remember Fido?" I got super excited and was like, "Of course! Can I pet him? It's been so long!" I got permission from Fido's mom (and Fido of course) and gave him butt scratches for the first time in nearly two years. She was shocked that I remembered him and told me that they had moved away and then recently came back. I'm just happy that I get to see Fido again on a regular basis!

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Lemon: Over in our aquatics section. You can see where this is going... A customer asked, no TOLD, me which fish she wanted. Quite a few. Like, 10 if I remember correctly. I started asking about her set up just to make sure that the fish are going into a good situation. She scoffed at me, rolled her eyes, and said, "This is ridiculous. I know what I'm doing." Trying to defuse the situation, I told her I didn't doubt her, but that I just needed to ask to make sure. She LAUGHED AT ME and told me to just sell her the fish because she's been doing fish stuff for years and never had a problem. You know what? Fine. I'll bag up the fish for you. She then proceeded to tell other customers around that she thought it was ridiculous that we need to know tank size to sell fish.

After I gave her the fish and she walked away, a regular in the area apologized that I had to deal with that. They then asked for a reasonable amount of fish to add to their community tank.

I worked at a small pet store for a few years, and I've got plenty of stories, but this is one of my favorites.

It was a slow weekday morning, so there weren't a lot of customers or anything. I was up at the front counter straightening some things out and just waiting for people to come in, all that good stuff. Then this guy comes in.

Me: Hi, welcome to pet store, do you need help finding anything?

Customer: Yeah do you sell fish here?

Me: Yes we do, is there a certain fish you're looking for?

Customer: -glances over at fish tanks along the wall- How much are your fish?

Me: I... uh, it depends on what type of fish you want...?

Customer: Ok, thanks! -leaves the store-

Did he think we had just one tank labeled "FISH" with all of the fish in it? Thought it would be pretty obvious that different fish are going to be different prices...

This happened at a generic pet store. At a time somewhere in the near past. And I apologize for the wall of text in advance but I need to get this one off my chest, even if nobody reads it.

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I happened to be a closer for this store, and we've been severely understaffed as of late for several reasons (Covid being amongst them). I also happen to be a high risk individual who has not been vaccinated yet, so I'm very serious with my mask. I work at this establishment part-time and have other responsibilities to take care of, and honestly the store is usually in a poor state when I do come in.

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By the end of the night only me and one other employee are on shift, we're both exhausted, and in comes a completely random rush of people 10 minutes before we close. My employee makes an announcement over the loudspeaker we're closing soon, we try to help people as quick as we can. 5 minutes left, I make another announcement. And closing time happens, but we have a few stragglers so I make another announcement that we're closed and to start wrapping things up. 5 minutes past closing I make the final announcement and I see our last straggler, or so I thought, walk out the door. I do a walk of the store and surprise! There are two customers in the rodent section. One isn't wearing a mask, which honestly already sets me off. But I keep calm and polite and tell them the store is closed and has been for 10 minutes. They cut me off and say they want to buy an animal from the rodents. At this point, my other co-worker walks up and hangs in the background. I flat out say no, no sale, because A) We don't have the time, and B) I don't feel comfortable selling a live animal to people that have no idea how to take care of it in the time I could manage to scrape together after our doors are locked.

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At this point this guy blew up. Said they've been waiting for 20 minutes (A lie, and even then it'd put them in the store 10 mins before closing where we made several announcements and that's *still* not enough time to sell something like the pet he was asking for). Then he starts ranting about how we should send people around the store to do rounds to help people. I apologized for being shortstaffed, but told them we made several announcements over the (very loud) store speakers. He keeps insisting he wants an animal and I keep apologizing saying we're well past closed, and the registers are going to be shutdown shortly. He says he has some stuff and asks if he can buy it still, and I assuredly say "Absolutely, head to the front and I can check you out for those items right now". And this is where things start going downhill and this guy turns from what I thought was just an inconsiderate a**hole to someone that almost made me blow my top and quit on the spot... He says he won't be rushed and he still has shopping to do, so he won't bring his stuff to the front, and also he still wants his animal. Then he starts yelling at me at the top of his lungs that he's worked in retail for over a decade and I'm a disgrace for trying to rush a shopper and denying a sale.

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At this point my coworker intervenes and I guess to placate him says they'll sell them the pet, do the paperwork, and get them ready to take care of it. I came about an inch away from declining the sale anyways as I still did not feel comfortable. But I recognize at this point I'm angry enough that I could do something I'd regret and just walk away and let my coworker handle it. I go to start counting out the registers and shutting them down, leaving one available.

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And then they come to my register, I tell them it's closed and they'll need to step to another one, and then this guy starts pointing in my face, berating me, and saying over and over that I'm terrible at what I do, I'm a terrible person, I'm the worst experience he's ever had in a store, about his massive experience in retail managing and how I'm a disgrace to the store. Then proceeds to get my name and says he'll make sure to report me to corporate. At this point my ability to be chipper is gone, and I'm just attempting my best to be neutrally polite and just kept saying "Ok, sir" over and over to whatever rambling screaming tantrum this guy was spewing. Finally they step to the other register and I hear them talking (Not so quietly) about me, including how he wants to punch me and maybe would've if there were no cameras. At this point I briefly considered ejecting them or calling the police, but decided I'd just take the regs I broke down and go to the back to cool off and do paperwork.

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I came about a millimeter away from blowing up on this dude and saying how much of a disgusting inconsiderate piece of sh*t you are to treat someone that cannot fight back without losing their job like this. We just want to go home after wearing masks, being overworked, and dealing with customers all day. Do you expect me to be your slave and just stay there for the rest of the night if it pleases you? Hell, we don't even have payroll for me to stay extra, moron, and if you worked retail anytime recently you'd know that's a thing. This guy thought by him saying he has so much experience in retail it'd come off like he's the one in the right when all it did was make him look like the most colossal unempathetic sociopathic douche on the face of the planet. Nevermind he couldn't even wear his mask to protect us what the f**k do we owe him after we're closed?

This is a mild rant as well as a story.

I've worked for a pet company the past 3 years; one that makes no "sense". I've been with the company long enough that my tolerance with irritating customers is very low. I'm also leaving within the next few weeks due, but for the past month and a half, I've been working like 1 shift a week because I got another job somewhere else that not only pays better, but it's closer to where I live.

So, for backstory reference as well, I've also been keeping bettas for going on 5 years now. It's been a hobby ever since getting my first one early in 2016. I've learned a lot of things about them over time as I have kept 8 in the past few years, and honestly, there are a lot of misconceptions out there. I also have a 11 inch tattoo of my first boy on my thigh as he was the one who started my hobby.

I was working at the store a few days ago when an older lady came in and asked if we carried them. I pointed her in the right direction as they were up front, and I was standing by the cash register in case she had any questions, as I've become the so called "Betta expert" at the store, and usually the coworkers turn to me if someone needs information or help.

She was glancing at them when she asked, "You can't put two of these together, right?"

I said no as the only ones we carried were males and they're called fighting fish for a reason.

She goes back to looking at them, pulling some of the atrocious cups down as she was trying to pick one out before she turned around and asked, "You can put a female with a male, right?"

I again said no. Even when breeding, males and females can't stay with each other for an extended period of time because again, they'll fight.

She kind of sticks her nose up at my response and says, "Well, years ago I kept a female and male in the same tank and they didn't fight."

Why even ask the question if you're not going to like my response? Males and males can't be together. A female and a male can't be together. You can have a sorority of females, but even then, it all depends on temperament.

By this point, she was getting kinda persnickety with me as if she thought I had no idea what I was talking about.

She points out that one of the fish is dead, which he wasn't, he was sitting at the bottom of the cup, probably sleeping. He moved a little bit as she picked up the cup, but she swore he has dead.

She then asked if we carried females and I again said no. If even we did, I'd refuse to sell both of them together if she had the intentions of putting them together.

By this point, a girl comes in and joins her. I assumed she was her granddaughter and they talked for a moment before the girl picked out one of the fish and brought it up to the counter. The lady asked me a few more questions, still acting like I had no idea what I was talking about. I rang the fish up and they went on their way, but I was steaming; again, my tolerance for irritating customers is very low.

One of the reasons I'm leaving this company is I'm tired of being treated like I'm dumb when I'm telling the proper facts and information. I know that a lot of pet retail employees are misinformed about some of the animals and items we carry, but at the same time, there are many of us with experiences and specialties due to our own animals; mine being cats, reptiles, and bettas specifically.

Maybe she had her bettas in a large enough tank that they didn't fight. Maybe they had a high temperament towards each other and were pretty laid back. Owning 8, I've learned that they all have different personalities. Some of my boys were laid back, some would flair if you even looked at them, some would be a mixture of both. One I couldn't keep snails with because he'd try to attack them, while the other one I had at the same time was perfectly fine with them. It just depends on the fish, they have their own personalities like people do.

I'd like to think I know something though after keeping them for 5 years and the fact that I have a big ass tattoo of one on my thigh.

And it doesn't help that there are so many misconceptions about them out there, and people don't take me seriously because "it's just a fish", but they're a pet like any other. Just because you can't take them out and pet them like you can with Fluffy doesn't mean that they're lesser than any other animal.

Damn. I won't miss the entitlement of customers from the pet store, but I'll surely miss my coworkers, my regulars, and all the cute pets I've seen come and go over the years.

Really, I need a place to tell stories and vent.

Hello folks, long-time lurker, 1st time poster, but I thought I'd share this story from a few days ago of a pet parent with a not so well though out school project. For this story: PP = pet parent ACEL = Amazing CEL Me = Me

So a man and his daughter come in looking for a goldfish. Me: "Howdy sir, what can I get for you?" PP: "Hi, I need 2 more goldfish (comets) please." Me: "Certainly. Are these for pets or food?" PP: "O they're for a school project?" Me: "Cool. What's the project?" PP: "Its an aquaponics project for her school project" Me: "Neet. How big is the tank you keeping them in?" PP: "They're in 1 quart mason jars?"

It's at this point that I out 2 and 2 together and realized why he said "more" Me: "I apologize, sir. But I can't sell you these fish" PP: "Why? I've bought fish here before." Me: "We can't sell fish if we find out they're going in improper environment. Comet goldfish get over a foot long and put out a tremendous amount of waste. A mason jar isn't big enough." PP: "The waste feeds the plant" Me: "No plant will absorb that much waste" PP (clearly peeved): "so you won't sell me the goldfish" Me: "No" PP: "Is there a manager I could talk to?"

So like many would-be goldfish buyers before him, he asks for a manager, probably hoping that the manager will pull a "customer is always right" for him. Luckily, my CEL is on-duty and he's a big animal welfare enthusiast. I call her over for a quick, but firm conversation. ACEL: "Hello, can I help you?" PP: "Yes, I want to buy some goldfish for this school project and he's telling me I can't get any." ACEL: "Ok. What's the project?" PP: "It's an aquaponics project. Fish waste to feed the plants." Me (turning my head to tell her): "He's putting them in 1 quart containers." ACEL: "O no, you can't do that. They get too big and are too messy to put in something small like that. They'd die pretty quickly in something like that."

It's at this point that he knows he's not leaving the store with fish and just throws up his arms in an exasperated, "I can't believe you won't just give it to me" motion and says "fine".

He walks out the door with his daughter, probably to another pet store. I tell the detail of the dead fish to my CEL and we both agree that he's not getting any fish from our store.

Believe it or not, thats not even the first fish project this week, with someone else coming in the day before the project is due and asking for our fish system water and for fish, despite having no tank or other necessities. Don't know how that's a project, she left this a 3.5 gallon and a betta.

I apologize for ranting and I know it's probably not the worst interaction in the world, but it really epitomizes the general attitude of some fish customers that the lives of the fish don't matter.

TLDR: Man tries to buy replacement comet goldfish for an 1 quart aquaponics project. Doesn't realize why that's a bad idea. Doesn't get fish

Happened earlier today and I'm still laughing about it.

I work in a big box store and we were having a few things going on today - vaccinations, dog training, and an adoption event. I'm not sure why, but they usually happen all on the same day at roughly the same time, so for a few hours I and my co-workers are running around the store trying to hold the store together.

In between checking people out, signing people in for classes, redirecting and answering phone calls, and giving directions for products without leaving the register, an older lady comes in and kind of bypasses the line to get to the register. She didn't speak english very well and we had all sorts of barking and yelling going on, so it took me a few times to understand what she was looking for.

DC: "Do you cut hair?"

Me: "Of course, that'll be just around the corner there and through that door, our groomers will get you taken care of!"

She nods and walks into the grooming salon and i figure that's that, so i go back to customers. I and my Store Manager bust our asses working through the line wrapping around the displays near the front, and after a few minutes we work through everyone and things calm down enough for us to catch a breath. We were sharing an 'oh my god can you believe this shit' look and chugging our respective energy drinks, when i saw the older lady from before come back out from the grooming salon.

DC:" Do you cut hair here?"

Me: "We do, that'll be through that door to our grooming salon."

DC: "I meant My hair."

I was completely dumbfounded. The only thing i could think to say, which kind of slipped out before i could catch it was "This is a Pet Store..." Thank Christ my Store Manager was up at the front with me to give her a proper answer (('only dog hair'/'not people hair')) before she left, looking annoyed. I and my Manager shared another look and agreed that was the weirdest comment we've heard in a while.

I don't know about you guys, but even knowing how the groomers sanitize all their tools, i still wouldn't want clippers that were on a dogs butt anywhere near my face. Apparently not all people think so.

So, I don't work at a pet store, but I worked next to the one where my girlfriend worked for a couple of years.

On this particular instance, I'm in my store on a dead day just kind of not paying attention to anything when I see a man by the side of the road with a rose in his hair dancing as seductively as he could towards the traffic. I laughed and watched this for 10 min before basically dozing off.

30 minutes later my girlfriend texts me to IMMEDIATELY come round the corner to her store.

She wouldn't tell me what was up, so I took a break and moseyed on over there.

The sight I was greeted with was the same shirtless dancing gentleman taking scoops of spam out of a container he was holding (with his fingers) and SHOVING chunks into each Betta container he could get his hands on.

I'm confused and amused at this point when my girlfriend reminds me "Hey there's live fish in those"

So I went up to the dude and asked him:

Me: "Yo man, what the hell are you doing?"

"Bruh, these fishes need to be FED they starvin"

Me: "No man, my girlfriend feeds the fish every shift, I promise they're good"

(With tears in his eyes)

"You promise man?"

He then tried to give me the rose out of his hair, dropped the spam container and boogied on out of the store (literally)

Good times

I was stocking the cat food aisle on a very busy Sunday at the pet store where I worked in college. My manager walks up to me and asks, "hey, uh, did we sell a ferret today?"

I'm not sure how most pet stores do it, but our store required us to talk to the customer, give instructions, fill out a waiver, explain our adoption policy, etc etc -- so every time one of our animals was sold it was kind of an ordeal.

I tell her I would have noticed if we had. We walk over and 1 of the 2 ferrets we had in a large, tall glass enclosure was missing. My coworker speculated that it must have escaped, so we started looking.

I knew from the beginning it was probably taken because the walls to their habitat was at least 3 feet high. Also, ferrets are super friendly so if it had gotten out, I think it would probably come up to a person rather than hide in the store.

My manager looks on the security camera. A man and a woman with a baby walk into the store, directly to the ferrets, and casually lift the lid. The man reaches in and picks up the ferret, starts to walk around and casually look at our fish tanks. We see him SLIP THE FERRET INTO THEIR DIAPER BAG and quickly leave the store.

My manager panics, calls the police -- when the police arrive, I distinctly remember an officer snickering and saying, "um ok, did you want to....file a report? I don't really know what you're expecting us to do." Surprise, we still don't know what happened to the little guy, but a young couple came in to buy a ferret cage a week or so later. When I asked where they had gotten their ferret (because we were the only store with ferrets in town) they paused and told me the flea market. I dunno if it was them, but I hope they gave him a good home.

TL;DR: A couple shoplifted a ferret via their diaper bag and my manager called the police and they laughed

I work for a small chain pet store. I've been there for two years now and I've seen some stuff in my time, but this lady the other day kinda got under my skin. I own quite a variety of animals personally so most of my education comes from my personal experience.

One of my passions is aquarium keeping, betta specifically. I've owned 7 over the past three years, and while I only own one at the moment, I've always been the store's proclaimed betta expert; if someone has a question, my coworkers send them to me.

An older lady, her daughter, and her young granddaughter come into the store. The older lady wanders off to the bathroom while the daughter starts asking me about the bettas. I ask them what kind of setup they have and it's a rather small bowl. They say that they don't want too big of a tank for the girl so I recommended what I started out with; a 1.5 gal kit that came with a filter. Now, the kit isn't the cheapest thing at $35, but it would give the betta more space, though it isn't ideal for long term since the minimum is 5 gals.

The daughter says they'd be interested in it and I carry it up front before wandering off to do whatever I was doing before they came in.

When they finally approach the register, I see the granddaughter holding a .25 gal triangle that sits underneath the betta display. I cringe every time I sell one of them. It was at this point that I figured out that the older lady was paying for the stuff for the fish her granddaughter currently owns.

For the purpose of the story, older lady will be OL and I will be Me of course.

OL: This is okay to keep a betta in, right?

Me: It's not what I usually recommend since it's such a small space. You'd have to clean the water every other day.

OL: But they can live in this, right?

Me: Yes, but it's a small space.

OL: (Points over to the display) Well they live in those cups perfectly fine. Why do I have to change the water in this every other day? We have to do that now with the tank she has.

Me: They're fine in those cups for now because I clean them every couple of days to prevent the ammonia building up. An ammonia buildup can kill the fish. (Side note, that's actually how I lost my first fish).

The lady looks rather irritated with me at this point because I'm trying to explain that this Betta Keeper in front of me that comes with some rocks and a sad little plastic plant and is almost no bigger than the palm of my hand in width.

OL: So they can live in this?

At this point I don't know why she's asked me this question so many times, so I try not to audibly sigh, and admit my defeat because she's not budging.

Me: Yes, ma'am, but I wouldn't recommend it for long term.

I ring up the measly small bowl and send a small prayer for the fish that has to go into it. Bettas have been a passion of mine for a good while and I've lost four of my boys in the past year to sudden organ failure, which I still haven't figured out what caused it due to the conditions that I keep my tanks in.

When they leave, I hear the lady grumbling as they walk out the door and the daughter say to her, "She was just trying to help."

That night I ended up taking a betta home that had tumors on his side because I was afraid he'd go to a home where he wouldn't have proper care.

I know with my job, I can try the best I can to properly educate people, but when we have those small tanks sitting under the betta display because of the misconceptions about them living in mud puddles in the wild, people think it's okay to cramp them into those small spaces. It breaks my heart, but I know that I tried.

So I work at a pet store. It's a smaller store, as the only animals we offer are betta fish and a few cats from a local rescue (they rotate out every few weeks). So I was at work last night, and it was just me as my coworker was on his break. This dad and son come in, and the dad can't remember what dog food they usually buy. So I pull up their points card, and check previous purchases, and get the answer for him.

While I'm doing that, his wife calls him. He gets off the phone with her, right as I'm grabbing the bag of food for him. The bag was 26 pounds, which really isn't that bad, but the guy immediately takes it from me and goes, "you don't need to grab that. That's what I've got a boy for!" My response was "it's fine. It's literally what I get paid to do." For reference, I'm about 5'6 and 120 pounds. His son was a bit shorter, but stockier than me.

I know it's really not that big of a deal, but goddamn. I have horses, so I'm used to throwing around bags of bedding and grain that are twice as heavy as the bag of food. And its literally my job to help customers get what they need.

I work at a pet store and our general rule when selling fish is 1 inch of fish per 1-1.5 gallons. For example, if you have a 30 gallon aquarium you have 30 inches of fish. Say you were to put 2 inch guppies in to your aquarium, you have room for around 15 guppies. Fish need a lot more room than you would think.

Anyways... this dude comes in to get some new fish as some of his had died recently. He expressed to us that his fish kept dying and he wasn’t sure what was going wrong. He opted for a free water test and his results come back with dangerously high ammonia levels and dangerously high water hardness. My coworker asks me to show him some products that may help with the situation and I start showing him our water treatment products. We settle on a product that is supposed to remove the ammonia and he asks me how to use it. I’m about to start explaining when my intuition kicks in. I ask him what size aquarium he has and what kind/how many fish he has in it currently. He tells me that he has a 10 gallon aquarium with about 5-6 guppies, a few mollies and platties, about 5 or so tetras and a betta fish... Well? No freaking wonder his ammonia levels were so high! That’s at least 30 inches of fish jammed into a 10 gallon aquarium... it took so much effort not to scream at this guy. I politely tried to explain why that was far too many fish to be in such a small environment. Buddy was absolutely dumbfounded at this statement. I explained that the best course of action would be to do an 80% water change, treat with an ammonia remover and rehome a majority of the fish or alternatively he could purchase a much larger aquarium. After all of this he still expected me to sell him more fish to add into this aquarium... Nah m8, not a chance.

I've been in the pet retail business for almost two years now. I've seen a lot of crazy stuff in that time, but the one thing that drives me up the wall is the amount of people who mention to me that they've used essential oils on their pets/people who suggest to other customers that they use essential oils on their pets.

I've got a couple of stories to share. We should all know at this point from working at pet stores that we should only use pet friendly things on our animals.

This first one happened my first year at the store. A lady was having an issue with keeping her dog calm during trips to the vet or grooming appointments. She said her dog would get so nervous that it would get sick in it's carrier. I ended up suggesting a product that we sell that has a pet friendly use of lavender in it; it was a spray that you put on a toy/blanket to put with the dog during those trips. We sold other things such as chewables, or drops, but I had received a lot of feedback from the spray from customers so that was what I usually suggested if we had it in stock.

She looks like she's processing what I showed her for a second and then mentioned that a friend sold cough pyramid scheme cough essential oils and had been trying to get her to buy some. Her friend had already mentioned using the lavender one on the dog and apparently me suggesting a pet safe lavender product signed the deal for her. I tried my best to talk out how of buying the (overpriced) oil due to the amount of risks, but she waved me off and left the store thanking me for my help.

A little over a month later, she comes back in. Again, she's looking for a calming product and again, I try to help her. She looked distraught while talking to me and she began to explain that she had just got her dog back from the vet after it having to be monitored for a few days.

I, being concerned and remembering our former conversation, asked what had happened. She told me that she had been putting the lavender oil behind her dog's ears for a few weeks and she had noticed that the dog was scratching at them all the time, which later resulted in fur loss and serious irritation. Before she stopped putting the oil on (which I don't understand why you wouldn't since your dog is losing fur/has raw spots behind her ears) her dog started refusing food and began vomiting to the point where there was a dark reddish tint to it.

She mentioned to the vet about the oil and essentially (haha, get it, sorry) the dog had been licking the oil off its back paw after scratching its ears and upset her digestive system/started poisoning her. She spent a very high amount on that vet bill and now trusts when people tell her to only use pet friendly products.

Story two happened a couple days ago.

A lady came in and bought three betta fish. I rang her up and a woman behind her was patiently standing at the register, waiting for this lady to move out of the way so she could ask me a question. When the lady moved to put her cart back/gather her belongings, she heard the woman asking me the question that began this conversation. To make this easier, I'm doing dialogue. I shall be Me, Lady Need Assistance will me LA, and Fish Lady will be CL.

LA: Hi, I'm looking for something for fleas and ticks. My son recently moved back in with me and he has a Chihuahua puppy that has them.

Now, I'll have to mention here that I live in the boonies. Fleas and ticks in our area are awful to the point where when I was a kid, I got anywhere from 2 to 20 ticks off of me just by walking in the woods. My store sells an array of products along with supposedly "natural" options that don't sell well because they're overpriced and sometimes don't work as they should; this lady was not looking for anything natural.

Me: I can show you some things--

CL: Essential oils help. They're bad around here and I (gesturing to the toddler she had with her) found that a mixture of eucalyptus and (some other one I no longer remember) in a bottle of water and spray on her and my dog whenever we go on a walk outside. It works well. You just spray it on the dog's paws and it has it covered.

LA gives me a funny look since this woman ran right over me mid sentence and I felt like my eyes had grown very wide listening to her talk.

LA: Ah, well thank you for the advice.

CL: I have a friend that sells them if you want her information. I think I have it in my purse somewhere.

CL digs around her purse and all I'm thinking is here we go again with the pyramid scheme crap as CL shoves a business looking card into LA's hand and LA thanks her.

I'm slowly walking away from my register, hoping CL leaves so I can show LA what I actually recommend and thankully CL actually walks out the door this time.

LA follows me over to the flea and tick stuff, I tell her about our products before I say the one thing that I had been mentally screaming about since CL mentioned it.

Me: I'm not trying to sound mean or nasty, but please don't listen to what that lady said about the essential oil spray. Eucalyptus oil is toxic for dogs (seriously, look it up) and the last thing I want to happen is for your son's puppy to get sick.

LA: Don't worry, I don't plan on it.

Needless to say, she ended up buying a topical (the drops you put on the back of their neck) instead and she was super nice about the whole thing. She said that if the topical worked (she bought a one month supply) she'd definitely come back for more.

All I could think about though was what if she'd took that lady's advice instead of listening to what I had mentioned. While I don't know if a diluted version of eucalyptus oil would be any safer (I doubt it would) it is still one of the ones that is listed as toxic if a dog happens to ingest it. Especially if it's sprayed on their paws.

People make me want to scream.

Today while I was helping people I turned a corner to bag some fish and a lady my coworker was helping walked up to me and asked me what fish can live together. No specifics, when I questioned her further she gave vague answers and didn’t seem to really accept my answers either. Behind her my coworker was standing in awe and being completely walked away from when he’s an extremely polite, professional and knowledgeable associate. I told her he would be able to give a better recommendation then I could (because he has been there longer, and I was helping someone else anyway) then after a hesitation she started talking to him again. Come to find out she was trying to get multiple community fish for a 2 gallon, didn’t really know why she walked away from him, and felt... in her words... travel-sized? All in all my only explanation is drugs. Mostly because her pupils were dilated to the edge. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

People test my patience where I work, but luckily, with the corporation I work for, I'm not stuck trying to constantly sell product and can give accurate information to people who have questions. Some people though... I'll get to that.

I've worked for my store for a year and a half. When I started out, the most I knew about we're Betta fish specifically, but I've aquired knowledge over time along with a new type of pet... Bearded dragons.

So, yesterday, a lady came in the store and was talking to the keyholder about her dragon and I happened to overhear a couple of things and decided to step in as the keyholder had just recently gotten one and I have had one of mine for almost a year. I wasn't trying to overstep my boundaries, the keyholder had just been asking me questions earlier in the day that were somewhat no-no's in their care.

So, this lady is looking at light fixtures and bulbs and I noticed she had a really crappy one, but my manager was already trying to talk her into a better one that did cost a bit more money.

Strike one was when the lady said she had been using regular light bulbs for heating for the dragon for about a week so far. How that dragon is alive since it's still fairly young beats me. I'm surprised it hadn't froze to death.

So, I ask her a few questions after we finally get her to buy a new fixture and a proper basking bulb when she picks up a combo pack with the red and the basking and says, I read online that they need to red bulb in order to shed properly. Strike two.

I try not to make face before I say, "They need a basking bulb to help with shedding. The red bulb is a night bulb and it's bad for their eyes and since it emits light, it makes them have trouble sleeping." I threw in what I use as a night bulb (a ceramic hear emitter), but my store doesn't sell it and I had to order mine on Amazon.

"...but I read online..."

She decides to get the red bulb anyways, despite my efforts to get her not to.

Strike three was when she was talking about the diet. For those of you who don't have experience with bearded dragons, there's a few things that you shouldn't do when it comes to feeding them. One, the first year of their life, their diet is mainly protein. Most people recommend dubia roaches or crickets. There are also meal worms and super worms, but those are not meant to be a daily staple as it can cause impactation and can royally screw up their digestive system. They're not supposed to be put on any type of sand for that reason as well.

She said she fed him strictly meal worms and I sent out a small blessing for the little guy. She claims she read it online as well and I almost face planted into the counter. This is why I stuck to the bearded dragons subreddit for my info. She did buy some crickets though per my suggestion though 24 isn't going to last that baby 3 days. And again when I brought up the fact, she mentioned she read it online of course.

Going back to the sand thing as well, while I may be able to give correct information, my store keeps our baby dragons on crushed walnut shells which I have sadly had to clean out of their eyes before. She pointed out how cute our cage for them was and I knew I had sounded like a hypocrite telling her sand was bad.

There was one final strike that I couldn't keep quiet about. Where I'm from, we have another small business pet store up the street and he's notorious for bad practices, selling sick animals, and his Facebook page is a riot with all the bad reviews and his unprofessional comments. I'm not trying to bash him because I work for competition, I just know his history very well as we're from the same place and he stole the business from his son who I was friends with in high school.

I told her what he was doing and how he acted and she gave me a funny look at first, but she made a face and said that it made sense in a way. While I don't know how much truth was in her words, she said she'd only go up there for one more thing and probably continue coming to us instead. She told me she got her dragon from him, which he had just gotten in a shipment and I essentially told her she was lucky because he doesn't take care of the animals he sells. He's been reported, but nothing has been done about it sadly. Animals he sell will die within days of them being purchased and he blames the people who bought them and refuses refunds.

After that though, she left with her items, and while the end of the conversation took an interesting turn, I have to say one thing. She wanted a source of someone who owns dragons, I have two. While I tried to give her correct information, she contradicted me saying she read something else online, and just kept repeated that was what she read online when I tried correcting her.

I guess some people you can't help, but Jesus sometimes customers give me a headache.

For some background here, I work in one of those big box stores where the quality of employees can be really different based on which location you go to. At my old store, the animal department was headed by a wonderful, knowledgeable reptile enthusiast, so you can imagine when I was transferred to a new store that I expected at least someone of similar enthusiasm. What I didn't expect was someone who mindlessly follows company policy to a T, even when it's not in the best interest for the animals.

Five months later brings us to today, the day I officially think I lost all hope. You see, I'm surrounded by coworkers twice my age with ego problems who were trained by Miss Policy. They don't usually know what they're doing is wrong (I hope) so I won't put all the blame in their baskets. Today, while doing routine checks on all the animals at the beginning of my shift, I noticed something a little wrong with a leopard gecko. Specifically, he dropped his tail. This was quite surprising to me since in the past year I've been working with animals I haven't seen this happen.

A little more backstory time. Our enclosures annoy me endlessly. Too many geckos in the same enclosure, babies mixed with adults, red night bulbs, and my favorite (sarcasm), giant heavy rock hides the size of half the enclosure. This is where the problem lies.

I picked up the giant heavy rock hide, recoiled slightly, and radioed my manager.

​

Someone squished two baby gecko tails.

​

I'm aware that this isn't life threatening to the poor little guys, but my heart broke for them. This isn't the first time injury or illness has a direct cause of inexperienced or incompetent coworkers. I've seen rampant breakouts of ringworm in every guinea pig from someone not wearing gloves. I've caught an entire shipment of Syrian hamsters (20 or so) with wet tail almost too late, and even then there were only a few survivors. I've separated robo hammys after they ate a tank mate. Pulled countless chameleons with MBD (mind you we haven't sold one in the five months I've been here, they all died). All this, and I haven't even mentioned what goes on in aquatics. (I'll leave that for a different day)

I wish with all my heart that I could do more to help, the only reason I picked pet retail was in hopes that I could educate people before they chose an animal. Hoping that I could guide animals into safer homes since it's hopeless to try and stop them. I do my best to ensure happier lives. I deny sales when needed, something I've never heard of a coworker doing despite having permission to do so.

Thank you for reading my rant if you got this far. If you got any questions for me feel free to ask I am always willing to educate about animals (especially fish)!

​

TLDR: Coworker squished two gecko's tails and it hurt me inside

I'm in charge of the entire aquatics department. However, this was a thing I've had to deal with whenever I had to help catch fish, and I'm sure you've had to, too. It's just something I deal with more often. But this one stuck out from the others.

Real life is not the same as cartoons. I cannot just dip my net in the tank and instantly catch a fish. I have to chase it a bit. No- that is not incompetence, that is not a struggle, that is not unusual, that is not because the fish is 'fast.' It's because it's a living, breathing thing and a giant cloth is chasing it. It's gonna take a minute.

Usually people try and make conversation and make comments that may come off as annoying after hearing it 900 times. Boy, they sure are fast! Ugh, almost got 'em! Well, at least we know he's healthy. The usual. I try to just laugh along. The only fish that I actually struggle with, and not just takes me a minute to catch, but struggle to catch are the bloody damsels. Those things are smarter than I.

So, naturally a couple comes in that I've heard some things about from my associates. They're usually pretty rude. Okay, I'll see what I can do.

They have a salt water tank and they're looking to stock up on Damsels. Cool- no problem. I like catching them even if it's frustrating- practice makes perfect. I've been chasing them for years and I still have trouble, but I don't sell nearly as much of them as I do other fish. That day was a laid back day, other customers were chill, the sun was coming out after a long winter, people were in a good mood. I figured they would be, too.

They were not chill.

I ask them which of the many damsels we have that they would like. They say any of them would be good- until I dip my net in. No, we want the bigger ones. Except for the biggest fish. No, that one looks too unhealthy. See the color? He's slightly lighter than all the others. No good. Are you sure these fish are healthy? Not that one, for sure.

For some context, I work for big name pet store right now. I've worked big, I've worked small. I've worked competitors and mom and pop shops alike. I am not defending big name stores care of animals by any means. We certainly have a lot of loss with fresh water. But not salt. Our salt tanks actually do very well. Most of all of my salt water fish have been in the store for longer than I've had the aquatics position, no loss. I don't sell many so I don't need to order many, but every single salt water fish I have has been in the store for several months. They were not unhealthy- and I'm the first to admit if a fish is unhealthy.

But whatever, I just listen, agree and do what I'm asked. So I chase the ones we do want, and, surprisingly enough the fish scatter. I catch one with ease, a rare occasion. No, that one was definitely the sick one. We didn't want that one. I put him back, no problem. It takes me several minutes to finally catch another one. No, this one is too small. Okay, I'll try and get a good one. As I'm stalking one, it takes a while for me to get them in a position where I can easily catch them. I'm not necessarily going for a specific one (unless asked), I'm going for the easiest one. So when another damsel appeared to be more optimal to catch, I go after that one. What a mistake.

She tells me I spent way too long trying to catch that one, I might as well continue to go after it. ...I'm just catching whatever fits your criteria and is easy for me to catch. But I just keep doing my thing. I catch one and I'm holding it in the net. I adjust my bag, but she decides to try and begrudgingly help me open the bag. I can see someone trying to be helpful, but this just irks me a bit. The fish is fine for the split second it takes me to widen the bag a tad. Let me do my thing. I have to catch 6 damsels. Specific ones, of course, the ones I caught were usually far too small. By the 3rd fish, she needed to tell me how much of a hurry she's in. I always ask people if this is a good fish before I put it in the bag so as to make sure they walk away happy with the fish they wanted. When I ask her if this was a good fish, she told me it didn't matter anymore because of how long this is taking. I usually split these fish in a few bags, depending on how big the fish is and what not. Since she was in such a hurry, I figured I'd ask if she wanted me to put the last three in a seperate bag. No, no, they'll be fine.

I continue to catch the last few fish. Wow, she says. I really am stressing out all those fish. This is really stressful for them.

... I would love for her to tell me a way that I can make chasing a fish around with a net, removing it rom a tank and putting it in a bag not-stressful.

I'm catching fish. Of course it's stressful.

I catch the last few, including other fish other tjan the damsels (they were much quicker to catch) thank them and send them on their way. Yes, this process took 20 minutes. It certainly should be faster. However, if you're a salt water aquarist, what are you doing trying to buy 6 damsels, three cardinals, a coral beauty and a coral banded shrimp when you don't have 20 minutes to spare? It takes time.

She later had to complain to the cashier that she really hopes her fish don't die from all that stress I put them through, and look at them all in one bag, she'd be surprised if one of them makes it home.

Haven't seen them in a while, and although they are one of a handful of regular salt water customers, I would not be too upset to never see them again.

Edit:

By all the fish in one bag, I mean all the damsels in one bag. Not cross species.

A customer came in yesterday asking about a tumor on it’s gill and wondering what to do about it. I asked him about his tank size, what the water parameters were, when his last water change was, etc. He told me he had 9 goldfish in a 20 gal and his last water change was 6 months ago. Then his son told me that they had 16 but 5 of them had died.

I about walked out the door y’all.

Nicely I told him his tank was overstocked, that goldfish are extremely dirty fish and that he needs to do weekly water changes and actually, ya know, tank care of his tank?

I can only hope he takes my advice.

So a lady came in to buy supplies and 3 betta’s for one of those evil three tier waterfall tanks. It’s good practice at our store to not belittle people (especially on a purchase they’ve already made, ie the tank) so I helped as best I could making sure she had conditioner and beneficial bacteria and what not. Now I knew this setup wasn’t a good idea, but I the idea is to build trust with the customer so that when small, r/shittyaquariums go bad, they come back to us for help.

I didn’t anticipate all three of her bettas dying over night though. I still don’t know what could have caused it. So I’m wondering if the tanks are actually just that bad? We keep our betta stock in 1-2 gallon bowls which isn’t ideal, but better than the cups and actually do water changes, keep the store at 78 degrees as well so the water isn’t terribly freezing so all in all I don’t think the bettas were sick. But dying over night just seems very strange to me. Anyone have similar experience with the waterfall tank?

This happened a while ago, but my coworker reminded me of it and it still makes us laugh.

A woman came in to buy some natural driftwood for her tank. She never asked any questions about it, just paid and left. To be fair, driftwood is not a difficult thing that requires an information leaflet, but if you've never had it before you might be a little surprised to discover that after putting it in your tank, the water will turn brown. In most cases, it does not make your water cloudy, just tints it (picture a cup of tea before adding milk in).

It's perfectly safe for the fish, just unsightly if you like your water looking crystal clear. You can either just do a lot of water changes once it's in the tank, or if you haven't put it in yet you can boil it to release all of the tannins (the things that make the water turn brown).

Anyway, the woman came back the next day and showed us some photos of the water. She was horrified at how brown it was and was adamant that her fish had gotten ill from it, because...

Woman: I put the driftwood in, and overnight all of my fish have contracted diarrhoea!

My coworker, who was serving her: ...What?

Woman: The driftwood has stressed the fish out so much that they have pooped so much that they've turned the water brown! Look!

(She shows him the pictures.)

Coworker, giggling: Oh my god. No. The water has just turned brown from the driftwood - it happens when you put it in the tank without cleaning it first. It's perfectly fine for your fish, just do regular water changes and it'll go back to normal.

Woman: So... It hasn't induced diarrhoea?! They're all okay?!

Coworker: No, it's totally normal. Assuming everything else in the tank is okay, your fish will be completely fine.

Woman: Oh thank god. I was googling "fish diarrhoea" all night and had no idea what to do.

It was definitely a story that gave us shits and giggles.

I work in an aquatics store. We have a 48hr livestock guarantee, meaning that if you take your new animal home and it dies immediately, you can bring it back in for a refund/exchange/store credit/whatever.

We have multiple signs around the till informing customers of this, we verbally tell them as they pay for livestock, and it's even printed on the bottom of the receipt, along with our store number.

Today a guy came in and tried to buy ten shoaling fish, quite expensive. Made some small talk with the guy while I was bagging them up, turns out he had already bought ten of the same last week and almost all of them had died over the course of it. This morning all but one were gone.

As the fish were pretty expensive I thought I'd retroactively honour the livestock guarantee to save him from being out of pocket. I didn't have to, I was just trying to be nice, and save the guy some money.

The manager doesn't mind if we do this, as long as the deaths occurred during the initial two days - this is so that people don't just phone up randomly and go "hey yeah I bought fish from you guys five years ago, now please give me thousands in store credit", etc.

Me: How many were gone the day after you bought them?

Fish Guy: Oh, none. I had them all, alive, for like... almost a week? And then half of them died on like, the fifth day, and then the others have slowly died off every day since. I've only got one left now, sadly.

Me: Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that :(

Fish Guy: Why do you ask?

Me: Well, if they had died within 48hrs of you buying them I could have just exchanged them for you, as we have a livestock guarantee. If it happens again - though hopefully it won't! - feel free to come in the day after or even just phone up to let us know and we'll exchange you or refund you the next time you come in :)

Fish Guy: Oh, I remember the guy who served me saying something about that.

Me: Yup, even if you can't physically make it in, you can always phone us within the 48hrs and let us know and we'll remember for next time we see you. Unfortunately as your fish were alive for almost a week I can't honour it this time though, sorry!

Fish Guy, suddenly shifty: Well. Uhhhh. I mean, they died the day after I bought them, is what I meant to say.

Me: Excuse me?

Fish Guy: They all died after I brought them back home. All of them. Died. Immediately. So... I can just get these new ones for free?

Me, assuming he misunderstood: Oh, no, sorry - I meant that if your fish had died within 48hrs of you buying them from us, and you let us know, we can refund or replace them from you. I can't give you these ones for free, as you said the other lot died after having them for over half a week.

Fish Guy: No! I meant to say that all ten of them died the day after. Forget what I said about them dying five days later or whatever. They all definitely died the day after. All ten of them. Gone. The day after. So now that I'm entitled to an exchange under your guarantee, I'll take this lot for free now.

Me: ...No, you just said nine of them died after five days and you've still got one left.

Fish Guy: Yeah I know that's what I said, but that's not what I meant.

Me: ......

Fish Guy, brazenly: Just pretend you didn't hear me tell you about them living for five days. Pretend I said they died the day after.

(He wasn't even being silly about it, trying to make a joke. Guy was deadly serious.)

Me: I'm sorry, but that is not how it works?

Fish Guy, suddenly angry: This is some bullshit. What's the point of having a livestock guarantee if you don't even honour it?! You shouldn't even have a time limit on it at all, that's just stupid. You should just let people get free replacements whenever their fish die.

Me: No? If we didn't have a time limit on it people would just keep them the entirety of their natural lifespan and then redeem them for new ones?

Fish Guy: Exactly. You should do that. 48hrs is not enough time! I want an infinite livestock guarantee for these new fish!

Me: That would be a terrible business model? So no??

Fish Guy: I can't believe you don't care about your customers!

Me: ... ಠ_ಠ