I think we might have some crossover between our communities. Feel free to check out r/talesfromgovernment.

Full disclosure: if your stories resonate, there's a chance I might crosspost them. Thank-you-in-advance!

💻 🧾👌 yoink! 💻

So, this just happened.

A woman came into the library to use a computer. It's important to note that she had been shown the day before how to log on (typing in the barcode from her card). So, she sits down, and only a moment later calls over my coworker. This coworker then gets our IT man to come help.

The woman had opened the CD tray, placed her card inside, and shut it. When she reopened it to get her card back, it was gone. When the manager asked her why she did that, she said it was how she thought she was supposed to log on.

The computer was taken apart and the card was returned.

Never a dull moment at this library.

A new hope spoilers

I've worked in the library I work at for a year now and there is by far a patron who stands out amongst the rest.

His name is Simon and he is autistic. He will make sure to tell you this.

The other day Simon and his family came in and I was overjoyed. Simon likes to talk, to anyone or no one. He just likes to chat. He was talking to one of my co-workers about Santa and if she thought Santa would get him presents because he wasn't sure if he was good enough. (he's an angel)

I coerced Simon to come and talk to me as my co-worker was busy. I know, as does anyone else who has met Simon, that he likes Star Wars. I told him I'd seen the new movie and he started questioning me on everything. As we chat Simon repeats a few times that he is angry at J J Abrams for killing off Han Solo. I ask him what he's going to do about it?

S: I'm going to call his mother!

Me: let me see if I can find her phone number...looks like his mother had passed away.

S:hmm oh well I guess I'll have to tell her in heaven... I know (finger pointing to the ceiling) I'll write a letter to JJ Abrams.

Me: Would you like a pen and paper handing him some

S: I would he writes and says out loud Dear JJ Abrams, I am very cross that you killed Han Solo.

I have that letter hung up on my desk. :)

Edit: Thank you for the medal!

Hello, Tales From the Library! If you like library stories, I actually write down crazy stuff from my library daily, published on my blog. Here's one example of what you'll find there:

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A class of teens, nearing the end of high school, has come in for a field trip. Most of them have had library cards in the past but have lost them. A good portion of them have fines from books they lost years and years ago, and there’s not much I can do about it (I don’t have the authority to forgive fines) even though I’d really like to.

Me: Sorry, you won’t be able to check that out.

Teacher busts out a credit card

Me: Yo what are you doing?

Teacher: I’m gonna help you guys out and pay off part of your fines. $10 each, but you have to bring the rest

Me*, counting the number of students with fines*: good god

Me: Is that like… your personal credit card?

Teacher: Yeah, it’s okay

Me: The school’s gonna reimburse you, right?

Teacher: Really, don’t worry about it. It’s okay.

APPRECIATE YOUR TEACHERS

This story, and many many more, available here!

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I work in a specialized academic library. The attached uni has three major anatomy tests every year: Brain and Skull, Ear and Eye, and Reproductive Systems.

I wonder which one we'll be talking about.

There are five male anatomical models and seven female (because the female part also includes separate models for the pelvic region and the muscles. Last year we added two of each of the main model (going from 3:5 to 5:7) when I got the worst down dressing I've ever gotten at this job.

The male anatomy models have a hard plastic (flaccid) penis attached to the rest of the model by two metal prongs. I would periodically tease students to make sure to put the penis back on. Last year, one of the metal prongs in one got really loose and the other one couldn't handle the weight, causing it to constantly fall off. This prompted the: your penis fell off jokes until I realized that if you put the penis prongs in upside down, it wouldn't fall off.

So I did that. Of course, now the hard plastic is curved upward.

Boss was not happy when she saw me checking one out, the organ attached thusly. But it also meant we bought more models. That model sits in the back and is only allowed out when we use all the others. Occasionally, there is the thunk in a locked cabinet that means the penis has fallen off, again.

We have this large sweaty man who regularly comes in and makes comments or asks questions that are not ok for patrons to ask staff. He has regularly made different staff throughout their careers there feel uncomfortable at different stages. We all have stories.

Anyway, I was putting items on hold for him and he started telling me about an art book he had recently returned. One of those old master type books full of portraits. He tells me that there's a portrait in there that looks identical to me, but he didn't bring the book over because he didn't want to 'embarrass me'. Instead he tells me the title and page number of the portrait.

Now I didn't go and seek this book out as soon as he left, but as I was shelving later that day I came across the book. So I flipped to page. Well, it wasn't exactly a portrait. More a completely nude woman splayed out on a bed! While it made me feel disgusted I didn't think much of it until he came in the next day and started making jokes about if I had any 'portraits' of myself on my art page. Acting as though we had some kind of creepy inside joke. Ergh. My Manager had to speak to him, think he knows I don't like him anymore as he's stopped trying to constantly start conversations.

Worst part is I found out he did the same thing to my sister who was working in the cafe next door!

I have worked for my local library system for almost 20 years. Started as a page, and last year finally got a promotion to a reference assistant job. I have many a tale but I'll start the subreddit off with a more recent one.

My new position requires me to work every 3rd Saturday on circulation. Checkin, checkout, renews, issue new library cards, handle fines and phone calls. Pretty standard stuff. One of the first few Saturdays I worked, I was still leery about answering the phone, but alas, I was the only one who could. What follows is the approximation of the conversation. AL= Acid Lady. Me= me.

Me: Circulation Desk, this is Gato1486 speaking, how may I help you?

AL: Uh, yeah, I was just wondering when y'all libraries decided to start getting so damn aggressive?

Me: I'm...sorry? Could you please elaborate?

AL: I got this letter that says I owe y'all for a lost book, but I'm lookin' right at it!

Me: Oh! Well, if you weren't able to renew it, then it's X amount of days past due.

AL: I KNOW THAT. We've kept shit from you guys overdue before and have NEVER gotten one of these debt collection letters! It's offensive and aggressive!

Me: ...I am sorry, but, our policy for years now has been to notify patrons of outstanding overdue items so they can renew them, and, if that doesn't happen, the item automatically is set to lost, and an automatic billing notice is sent.

AL: But we've had stuff longer than this before without a letter!

Me: If that is the case, the item probably belongs to another branch outside our library system, and we have no control over their choice in due dates or how they handle overdue and lost items. I assure you, that if you bring it back in, you will be totally credited for the item!

AL: [Maximum peeved!] Tch, fine! I'll bring it back, and I'm bringing my library card back in too! We are NEVER using the library ever again!

Me: [Tired of this BS, so I put on the chipperest of tones.] Well, I am sorry to hear that, but, we do look forward to the item's return soon!

AL: Yeah, I BET YOU ARE! [phoneslam]

We had a good laugh about her, and I subsequently conquered my fear of phone calls.