Couldn't sleep last night because I kept getting intrusive thoughts, and this subreddit is basically the only place I talk, so here's my vent:

How do you learn to overcome the self-image insecurities that these degradation fetishes prey upon? The feeling that you'd never satisfy your partner enough because of your inadequate size, or that you're simply not "manly" enough.

That’s it. I see too many people treating one relapse as total failure and a return to square one. It’s not.

Unless you feel like the nofap “streak” model of recovery works great for you, I advice you not to think about your recovery in such terms. The very concept of a streak implies that it will be broken.

Don’t get me wrong; you need to fight this demonic addiction with every fiber of your being. Yet it’s important to remember that recovery is more a process of changing a pattern of behaviour. Viewing one relapse as total failure increases the risk of returning to your previous behaviour, rather than getting back on your feet and continuing the fight.

Hey guys I’ve been recovering from tg and other sissy fetishes for the past 2/3 years now. Best advice i can give you guys is considering getting addiction recovery, it’s worth the price.

The mental clarity, being intuned with my emotions is miles ahead of where i was in 2021.

A slip or a relapse doesn’t define your recovery process. A slip doesn’t mean your back at square one. What that is, is data.

Shaming yourself out of an addiction won’t help you it will only make your mental worse. What you guys need is more self love and compassion.

Where i was in 2021: meeting up with men and ts, being afraid of talking to women, not experiencing intimacy, abusing substances, allowing disrespect.

Me in 2024: experiencing intimacy with women, not abusing substances, being intuned with my emotions, having boundaries, not allowing disrespect.

Currently run one business getting ready to open up my second.

A lot of the ts and sissy fetishes is lack of self love and self respect. Ask yourself where do you want to be in 5 years from now? What sort of like do you want. At the end of the day you have your ancestors watching over you, you have loving friends and family that want the best for you. You beating yourself over your past, your slips, your relapses isn’t helping you get any farther.

Recovery services i used was therapist and elevated recovery. Also if your therapist recommends mental health drugs stay away from them, what life found with those medications it worse and your mental health over time next thing you know your on 2-3 different medications. And make sure to get a therapist that truly understands what you’re going through, look into porn addiction therapist.

Since this subreddit has effectively become the de-facto space for degradation-based fetishes (or if it hasn't it should, since there's little material difference between sissy stuff and e.g. cuckolding), linking a post I made on /r/antikink trying to lightly "deconstruct" both of the ones mentioned in the title.

https://old.reddit.com/r/antikink/comments/1gx18rm/how_can_someone_people_be_so_unethical_wrt/

Nowhere near as thorough as the canonical set of essays by /u/utterly_unreal_3 in the pinned post, but it's a start I suppose.

CC /u/RubberDuckieDanger - If you're ok discussing your situation here, I'd be happy to try to lend a hand, at least until you have solid enough footing to walk a path yourself.

Title. I'm talking about 0 friends and never had a friend (and no partner as a corollary), someone who doesn't even imagine themselves as capable of finding a friend.

It's easy to see why someone in such a state, regardless of whether they actually felt lonely on a day to day basis would fall into a degradation fetish. By definition being an outcast poses immense emotional pressure. You can try to avoid engaging in society, but there's always a shadow. You can try to view yourself as a hermit or a monk (or I guess the newfangled term is "volcel?") but there's always the trace of submerged emotional instability that it's you who can't fit into society rather than the other way around, and that's what this fetish preys on. The process of severing the link with societal appraisal entirely is effectively ego death in the spiritual path, it's not wonder that it's so hard.

Hey everyone, I’m that kind of weirdo who is addicted into what is probably the worst porn has to offer. I almost only watch porn where im degrade, to me it’s more about the emotional aspect rather than the sexual thing, that’s why I often jerk off as it it’s part of my daily checklist.

porn already made me even question my own sexuality at some point even though i never felt attracted to a guy, just because the forced feminization fetish.

I just feel like I’ll never be a normal person and that porn kinda destroyed part of my mind.

when I’m not jerking off I don’t think about my fetishes and that make me almost feels disconnected with them, i feel different from ppl i see saying u should embrace ur fetishes and kinks I feel miserable.

im going through a bad time with a lot of things in my life I also have several traumas from childhood, and with no money to pay for a therapist lol

in the end I’m just writing thing to get these thoughts out of my chest idk someone will bother to read all that. If you did read everything I apologize for my bad grammar, English is not my first language.

and my main question is to know if it is possible to be a normal person after so many years feeding your own destruction.

extra note: I tried to post my story on the r/NoFap and they removed my post saying there is no scientific evidence that porn makes people into trans, which is not even the point of my post. Just sharing cause it pissed me off lol.

hey, i find myself having lewd conversation with random men online. I mean, i've been at it for years. It usually goes hand in hand with bouts of low self esteem and depression. not sure what to do about it

Some random thoughts I had while sleeping a few days back, wanted to jot them down because there are a lot of great essays by /u/utterly_unreal_3 with regard to the sissy stuff, and while those generally applicable to most degradation stuff, degradation stuff also has a common theme of one being a "beta", which probably deserves a bit more dissection.

Now of course it's easy to say that the alpha/beta distinction is all arbitrary, but given its persistence in colloquial language there's clearly something it refers to, so completely dismissing it is just papering over an issue.

Note that the thoughts are a bit unpolished, but just meditate on the core ideas and it should become clear. Basically, deriving from the point in one of /u/utterly_unreal_3 's essays regarding the value of authenticity the key corollary is that there's a certain sleight of hand between how such degradation content presents the idea of a beta versus the reality with which it's actually used to day.

Put simply, the videos sell an image of one's status being determined by physical factors: looks, strength, dick size, a general attitude of "bravado" and masculinity. These are unfortunately most immutable factors, and things such as going to the gym might help a bit but if one internalizes this perspective then you effectively box yourself in with a dead-end label.

But in today's world physical strength actually does not matter much. A slightly better definition would be something akin to power or success. But power and success with regard to what metric? One can earn a pretty reasonable salary just by meekly following a set career path (graduating university, getting a "decent" white-collar job [harder to come by these days], etc.). And yet that person might still feel the label of "beta" resonates with him, despite him arguably being more successful in a financial (and hence societal status) metric than a blue-collar worker.

Instead I'd propose that the notion of authenticity in /u/utterly_unreal_3 's essay holds the key to properly defining it. Simply, the alpha/beta divide is along ideological lines, whether one conforms to "expected" societal values simply for the sake of conformance or is willing to "stand true to himself." Put it this way, many CEOs aren't necessarily the most attractive people; some might say that their status alone makes them an "alpha" or whatever, but if you were to sort of "rank" CEOs based on some "alpha/beta" scale, probably you'd say that the CEOs who are just trend-followers would be ranked lower than the CEOs who make big bets and stand by them (that doesn't necessarily mean those bets all pay off, but at least you'd say he's ballsy).

Also note that what people publicly say about a person does not reflect their actual subconscious thoughts. Good modern example: Musk. One certain side of the political party absolutely hates the guy. They'll call him every name in the book, saying how they don't respect him, that he's just a conman, etc. Regardless of the validity of the viewpoints he expresses, it's clear he absolutely gets under their skin; all for simply being public about his opinions and standing by them.

Now of course the practical advantage of the corollary is that authenticity is easy to come by. But it requires resisting social pressures, and not many people are actually willing to do that; you only gain a sense of respect by challenging the consensus, not by meekly following it.

I've been dealing with this whole feminization kink for years now and I can't stop coming back to it. The longer I quit, the worse the relapses get. It's come to a point I'm hoping someone takes advantage of this, and pushes me over the edge of relapsing permanently.

I'm only 19 and just started college. I had hoped to stop at the end of highschool but here we are... It's stuck with me

Today I was tired after work. I signed contrsct for apartment without reading it. Then I was worried a lot. I will never sign anything without reading again. One thing leads to other and I relapsed. It seems like nofap is too hard. Is there other way?

On work there are some pictures of naked women. Maybe it leads to relapse too

I wasn't sleeping almost 24h. Sorry, if there are misspellings.

I found out about my partner's addiction a little over a month ago. It was especially traumatic to me since I had trauma from past partners with porn addictions/infidelity issues before. It was part of why my partner hid it. He is doing individual therapy and couple's therapy with me, trying to get to the root of his issues. He was SA'd by a male baby sitter at a young age and we believe that may have triggered it. However his porn went beyond watching and he made his own sissy content too. He kept these videos up online during his past relationship and ours until I found out. Many of these videos were stolen/posted on other websites and they are everywhere. It's overwhelming for me to see it and not feel horribly insecure and like he's in denial of his sexuality. He's been making this content since 2019. He also had a twitter and Reddit with his photos on it and logged in during our relationship. He says just for porn viewing, but with all the followers commenting on his posts etc he could have easily cheated. He also went further by having sex with men. I'm scared I'm going to put in more effort into the relationship just for him to realize he does want men. We had a GREAT sex life but now I feel like I wasn't good enough since he kept going to the sissy porn. My question is how do the partners of recovering TG/Sissy addicts not feel insecure? And how can he tell if this is really porn escalation or if he's just in denial? Thank you for any support or guidance... I feel very lost and scared. So many therapists don't know how this stuff is, so it's hard to get an informed opinion.

I am not entirely sure if this is the best subreddit for my issues but aside from r/isitporninduced I haven’t really found another forum that details the issues of porn escalation, fetish development and all out sexual rewiring quite as comprehensively as this channel.

Indeed, I have read some posts so far and read up on a few articles related to AGP etc.

So where am I now?

To be honest I am going through a difficult period with my addiction. Like many of us I have been attempting NoFap in some variety for many many many years and have had varying degrees of success but recently have sensed a rekindling of the addictions strength over me (I have not made it past 2 days for the last 3-4 attempts).

I am now 26 and have been addicted to pornography of some variety for 13 years. Having first discovered high speed internet porn at 11 years old I essentially was taught about sex and sexual expression through its depiction in the porn world. In a sense and looking back I basically feel like my natural sexual development was robbed from me as my sex drive and biological urges were hard linked to pornography from the very start of puberty and into adulthood.

Now although my porn viewing habits were far more excessive in volume in the early days I would argue that for the most part - the first 7-8 years of my porn viewing and masturbatory behaviour would be considered relatively normal and not escalated (that is to the naked eye but actually as I reanalyse it their was tiers of escalation all throughout this time that occurred quite rapidly but I perhaps didn’t perceive it as such until it became more obvious). Indeed if I could swap my current situation (less PMO volume but escalated content) with my earlier viewing habits I would do so in a heartbeat.

To cut an already long story shorter, the past 5-6 years of my addiction has been the most troublesome to my psyche. I have viewed content and had sexual experiences which leave me with a genuine concern as to whether I have turned all out Bisexual. I would not say I have became specifically addicted to sissy hypno or transgender porn but I am immersed quite heavily now into relapses that have me acting out a feminine/bottom role that is both submissive and degrading. There is no doubt at least in my mind that my tastes are in large part a result of porn addiction escalation but it doesn’t make the issue any easier for me.

When porn addiction gets to the point where your sexual expression shifts from one spectrum to another (e.g. the object of sexual attraction moves from female vagina and body to male penis and body) then it is rather troubling indeed.

I am aware I have rambled and am now tiring even just writing this but my thoughts needed to find a place.

This is a confusing and stressful time for my psyche as I now genuinely concern whether the standard NoFap route is even that effective at rewiring an addiction that’s reached this stage.

A big part of me now feels that I need to a more specialised and dedicated strategy to actually move past this once and for all.

(Technically an extended version of https://old.reddit.com/r/TGandSissyRecovery/comments/1gxtj0v/interrupting_inauthentic_thought_patterns/ - thought I would compile a larger list of techniques using all methods I'm aware of. People who know other techniques not isomorphic to any listed below should feel free to comment. Also this post essentially copy-pasted from https://old.reddit.com/r/TGandSissyRecovery/comments/1gwh79y/i_keep_seeing_the_same_ive_been_trying_and/lyvlrld/ since I thought it might be useful with global visibility).

As mentioned before, the subconscious can be programmed in two ways. Either implicitly via past emotional trauma that constantly generates new subconscious dialogue. Or explicitly, as in the well-known case of hypnosis, propaganda, etc. In both cases, we may consider the resulting thought patterns to be "inauthentic". Thought patterns imprinted into the subconscious via hypnosis are particularly problematic because they are much more foreign to the mind, and hence can result in violent reactions (see notable cases of abreactions in hypnosis). Some people might suggest hypnosis "deprogramming" but I am wary of it for precisely that reason, any thought pattern introduced that is not your own is not a good thing (supposedly some indian mystics experimented with the effects of hypnosis on the psyche and concluded it usually caused more turbulence. but don't have reference for that.)

I am not too familiar with conditioned thought patterns arising via hypnosis specifically, but note that such thought patterns can also arise out of self-conditioning (e.g. watching particular fetish content). (This does have a biological component [e.g. pavlovian conditioning] but I think reducing everything to a pure stimulus response is too reductionist. We aren't pure stimulus driven machines.).

Some people might say that such fetishes are innate and immutable but that's clearly a bag of lies. There have been other essays here, but at least for fetishes on the BDSM spectrum there is a clear link to past emotional trauma. Stuff like a non porn-induced foot fetish are a bit harder to pin down. There are accounts that people who had repressed sexuality as a childhood transmute that into things like tickle fetish or foot fetish. But it may also just be a result of pure association without any underlying emotional instability.

It's also easy to see that a fetish can be acquired, as a result of porn escalation. In fact there had been a few experiments published in journals of conditioning people to acquire a foot fetish by pairing of stimuli. Fetishes acquired in such a conditioned fashion could probably be extinguished via known operant conditioning techniques (present the same trigger in a non-arousing context). Alternatively associations do decay over time, so simply avoiding exposure to such content should also help remove it.

There are also various accounts of people training themselves to be aroused by body parts they previously had no attraction to at all (the act of self-conditioning being the fetish in and of itself). They reported that fetishes conditioned in this fashion over a period of a month still elicited arousal after a year. However I would not consider that good evidence because in such cases I think it's actually an attraction to the taboo/deviance of it, and it is likely they did not make any attempt at all to mentally shift their perspective. (If they are still attracted to sexualizing deviance, then of course it's no surprise.)

For strongly unnatural fetishes (like sissy stuff), resolving the underlying emotional trauma and introspecting on the true nature of the content should be sufficient to form a negative link. For "natural" fetishes (like feet) where there isn't any clear emotional issue or which implicitly resulted from conditioning, simply refocusing your attention elsewhere should be sufficient to reduce the draw to the point where it is no longer an impediment or a craving.

Subconscious programming might affect you in two ways with regard to this fetish - it might alter your sense of identity (internalizing a narrative of being worthless/etc.) Or it might affect your sexuality, imprinting new fetishes.

Note that emotional trauma is one level below the mind and hence tends to be more resistant to traditional techniques as it can continually generate new subconscious dialogue.

Here's a list of techniques I know of which you can use to attack the issue of subconscious programming at various levels.

• Physical - Immerse yourself in some unrelated activities. Effectively a form of distraction in the Zapffe-ian sense and doesn't solve the issue in any way. But at least every moment you spend doing something else is a moment spent not making the issue worse.

• Physical - Given that sense of identity, self-image, and experience is intertwined with your physical body, do things like going to gym, etc. Bit of a lame one, but if it's possible you should.

• Mental - conscious. Use your conscious mind to analyze the issues. Read essays dissecting things, etc. In such a way you effectively help your ego/superego avoid falling for these "negative" imprints arising from the subconscious. For sissy stuff in particular there's the great set of essays linked in my comment on the pinned resources post. Another good book I found is "The Psychology Behind The Cuckold Fetish". Read about psychodynamics, people like Jung.

• Mental - conscious (short-term). Cold-turkey/willpower. Some small amount of it is needed no matter what, but obviously relying on it as your only approach is setting up for failure. You can build up willpower by doing something like meditation, simply sitting there idly and fighting the urge to do something else. That also helps build awareness of the body.

• Mental - subconscious. Positive affirmations. Can help recondition the mind, or "drown out" the negative suggestions. If there are particular words or images that pop up, it is easier to modify/build on top of them/defang them. Requires repetition and is best done in states of altered-consciousness (close to sleep-states, or meditative states). Note that it is well-known subconscious does not handle negation quantifiers well, so choose phrases in the affirmative ("strong", not "not weak").

• Mental - subconscious. Dismiss negative thoughts. Effectively the known techniques to avoid giving them too much mental attention/weight, and subsequently can follow-up with a contrasting positive thought instead. There should be a subtle (not violent) aspect of recognition that such negative thoughts are not "authentic" to you though. (Note that this "dismissal" of imprinted thoughts differs from emotional awareness where instead you must embrace and accept the emotions. Emotions, unpleasant as they are, are very much truly part of your past while any negative dialogue surfaced as a result is not.)

• Mental - subconscious. Reconditioning/relinking. E.g. if you have fetish X, allow yourselves to be aware of the harms and negative side of fetish X. (This can effectively be done by using the affirmation technique except to remind yourself of the harms of the fetish. Also best done in states of altered consciousness.) With enough time, you can recondition yourself to view fetish X in a negative light and your desires to engage in it will lessen. Can be combined with dismissal & positive affirmation for optimal effect (if thoughts of fetish X arise, ponder the negative association: dismiss it, replace with an alternate thought, then provide positive affirmation).

  • Some techniques from neuro-linguistic programming might be applicable here. I have seen mention of "collapsing anchors", "reframing", "swish technique" and mapping.

• Mental/Emotional - short term, see technique in https://old.reddit.com/r/TGandSissyRecovery/comments/1gxtj0v/interrupting_inauthentic_thought_patterns/. Relies on having refined awareness of your body to defang triggers as they occur (and is thus one-step better than willpower method which tries to have the conscious mind ignore triggers). Differs from previous point based on whether something is a passive "intrusive thought" or something stronger compelling you to action (e.g. when you have an urge to relapse). Depending on your religious inclination, you might also prefer visualizing these intrusive thoughts as the "work of the devil", and banishing them by expelling them in the name of Jesus (or however exorcisms usually work). Effectively, appealing to the visual and auditory sides helps bridge the gap from conscious down to emotional layer.

• Emotional - long term. Integrate the underlying emotional trauma. Therapy can be a start if there is some obvious event that jumps at you. But they can only help ask some guiding questions, I still contend the only way to properly integrate it is via bodily awareness. Two main schools I'm aware of are somatic experiencing (TRE), or emotional awareness/energetic cleansing (most occult schools).

• Spirirtual - Suggestions only have an impact if they resonate with you. Realizing that your sense of identity and self-image is illusory and your experiential awareness is purely a construct of a mutable internal narrative helps dispel that illusion and in theory renders you immune to such negative suggestions. E.g. no negative label attached to you will stick, let alone any label. Usually not easy, but the book The Presence Process tries to hit both emotional integration & spiritual development at the same time and is written really well. While that book is self-contained and very easy to follow (it actually has almost no meditation at all as you traditionally think of it), if you'd like to add in some meditation as well, I have started reading the book The Mind Illuminated. The two should complement each other nicely, and following the circular breathing sessions immediately with an extended meditation session is recommended for best effect.

Simple as: why are you interested in this image, topic, content? Repent of it, and you won't feel so tempted by sissy stuff. Are you into fat girls? Repent of it, and the sissy feelings dry up. And on and on

Hi everyone,

Firstly, please don't read if you are very easily triggered, I can't see a way to discuss this without naming my trigger explicitly.

Please also let me know if I should post this to another sub instead. My fetish is not specifically for sissy but rather for a generalised beta/emotional masochism that I nevertheless believe is strongly related.

My biggest trigger for this compulsion is to do with factual statistics on how many women like to be dominated. Many statistics, from peer-reviewed studies to less formal but huge sample-sized polls like the Aella kink survey, show that sexual submission is the most common female kink, with at least 60% of women fantasising about it.

This triggers me massively because I have a major complex around (1) unable and unwilling to dominate a woman, and (2) having a soft personality and detesting violence.

So basically, my brain tells me that I'm an inadequate male, because I can never dominate a woman (and I don't want to). Now my normal course of action would be to remind myself that that's not a true reflection of reality, it's just a false impression porn has given me. But in this case, I can't use that tactic, because the majority of women actually do want to be dominated, and the stats back it up. So I spiral into an existential depression and end up getting off to things that remind me of how defective I am.

I genuinely do not know how to stop doing this. Can anyone please help me? I'm genuinely at my wit's end, I feel utterly worthless.

As per title says. I love him that I'd give him the entire world. I'm willing to accept him for who he is and made peace with myself that there is no way of truly "cure" it- I just have to live with it.

I am struggling with my own thoughts that sometimes I'm feeling unworthy- that I am perhaps not someone who's in his dreams and fantasies. That I feel stink and I can't hell him fulfill his desires when the thought comes. I am struggling with the feeling that when I go to work, he'd be at home watching sissy porn and lusting all over them. That he'd be checking sissy communities and doing god knows whatever it is he's doing. That he enjoys recording him fucking himself. He promised that he would never jerk off to them and cut down the porn intake but I would never know for sure.

I feel hopeless. I hate feeling all these feelings, feeling horrible and stink yet he is having fun in his own fantasy world.

I'm desperately AGP and can't find fulfillment apart from it. Even if I stop myself from thinking about it I dream about it.

And AGP super grosses me out and makes me hate myself. And the fact that I could never fully transition and pass makes me feel like it's not worth it and I should just end it all. Not that I would, but the feels.

Hey everybody, I’ve been addicted to sissy porn since I was 12 and I don’t know how to escape its clutches. Ever since then I’ve explored just about everything there is to sissy porn. Hypno, crossdressing, talking to strange men on the internet and being humiliated by them and soliciting nude pictures of myself or CD photos. I’ve even met up with a guy in person. Freshly 18 and we did just about everything except penetration. In the moment I felt obligated to do it and hypnotized but after I felt disgusting and tried to wash all the regret off my body in the shower but it hasn’t left me. The worst part is now I have a family and I still can’t quit. My partner knows very well about my past and I’ve even talked to some people behind her back just for my sick self pleasures. I’ve given up talking to strangers on the internet but I just can’t give up these feelings and watching sissy porn. I’m aroused just typing this out and I don’t want to be anymore. I just want to be a good man for my family. Is there any advice or anything at all that would help in my situation?

Hi guys, so i have been addicted to this type of porn since i am around 15 and i have still not managed to quit. I am positive that i will soon get my life together (workout, no social media, no jerking off ofc and so on) and i am already making good progress. But there is one thing that makes me sad or angry. I am wondering if this „fetish“ or porn induced fetish or whatever it is will last in me forever? I am definitely a straight male und want to have a relationship with women. In the current state i am not able to really date because i want to focus on recovery first and so on. But my question for the people here is if these sexual craving which are unnatural for me (so anything that isnt about regular sex with women) will go away completely when i stay away for porn and masturbation long enough? Or have these 3 years brainwashed my brain so much that i am for my life long craving these weird things? I want to be normal und have a normal relationship to sex? Sometimes i even jerk off to normal sex with women, then i dont even watch porn but Imagine sex with women. Sorry for my english guys it isnt the best but what do you guys think? Can i have a normal sex life one day? Will these weird fetishes go away again? Thank very much for every answer in advance!

Was skimming through the presence process book and found this interesting supplemental resource that I thought was worth sharing. Particularly this paragraph should resonate with everyone

There is "a thing" that happens to us all, that has become part of our life, which at times drives us crazy. It often commences with a seemingly outer trigger. Other times, it appears to come at us, to enter our field of experience, out of nowhere. It usually snakes into our experience as "a particular thought pattern" which persuades us to enter reactive behavior. This thought pattern is always tinged with the resonance of self-righteousness. It repeats over and over in our mental body until, hypnotized, we act on it. By the time we take the action it provokes we feel justified, convinced, and passionate that "we are right in doing so". This hypnotic thought-stream is powerfully persuasive. It puts forward an air-tight case for the recommended reactive behavior. However, when we do enter the suggested reactivity, we inevitably wish we had not. The emotional fix we receive from our reactive behavior, though initially giving us a surge of false uplift, inevitably trails off and leaves us feeling somewhat bewildered, as if we are waking from a trance-like state. When we do awake to what we have done, to the circumstances we have set into motion through our self-righteousness, we do not feel comfortable at all. Our reactive behavior also "stirs the pot"; it invariably triggers others into uncalled for emotional upset. Only once this widening resonance of "upsetting others" occurs do we realize we have acted as if "under a spell".

If you're a strong materialist then whenever the word "energy parasite" appears in the text, just read it as "inauthentic/implanted" self-reinforcing thought, like the way a hypnotist might introduce foreign suggestions into your subconscious. Effectively as I understand the main idea is to identify the thought patterns that are not authentic to you (e.g. perhaps either literally implanted in you by hypnosis, or just a product of passive psychological conditioning from porn addiction), and rob them of their power. Where this differs I suppose from the traditional "go take a walk when you feel like fapping" is the focus on actually "sensing" the foreign-ness of the thought pattern, not by constructing another narrative post-hoc but by sensing its subtle emotional inauthenticity. It's an interesting framing that I did not consider before, will personally try it and see how it goes.

(And in this context, you can see where the notion of "being possessed by demons" in christianity comes from, with an exorcism presumably having some function of trauma integration. Don't know how successful that is in practice compared to other approaches though.)

Nothing satisfied me. sex is not fun. My dick dont get hard while having sex. I slept with tg and man i dont enjoy. I dont enjoy porn too. Now slowly it leads to humiliation kink. Thinking someone public humiliating me turns me on and want to try why I have this weird kink how to get over from all.

I think that similar to people with a paraphilia for autogynphilia, people here may have an (unlisted in the DSM) paraphilia for emasculation (as well as AGP/AGAMP, as they are "extremely" comorbid)

Paraphilias are pervasive and intense abnormal sexual interest that develop via sexual imprinting/erotic mislearning during youth for unknown reasons. Supposedly they're unlikely to change.

I suspect that most of you here will be dealing with this the rest of your life, just as I've had autogynandromorphophilic (partial AGP) and emasculation tendencies my entire life. I don't know why. The true reason may be benign rather than tragic for all I know (random sexual associations in childhood, perhaps).

In my experience, no amount of self improvement has modified my inate personality/sexuality. I did about all of it for roughly a decade (please don't suggest any activites to me). The benefits are obvious but they don't change who I am at core, regardless of whether that's who I want to be.

I say this not to doom post but to dispel misdirected hope. If you want to change you're probably better off accepting yourself and going to therapy to learn ways of managing your emotions rather then the various activities people advise here (gym, hygiene, meditation, work, dating, journaling, etc), as they aren't actually addressing whatever need we're trying to meet.

*For more info on the apparent functions of comorbid AGP Autogynephilia) and MEF (Masochistic Emasculation Fetishism), check out r/autoMEF.

hello i’m trying to make a post here as a last resort, it’s been years that i prone masturbate to sissy porn, hypnos and captions, my mind is fucked up, my cock is fucked up too, i can’t manage to keep an erection for long and i’m embarrassed to get in bed with a girl because of this. I’m very horny since yesterday and i’ve been craving sissy hypno and cock, but i don’t know what to do. I keep relapsing after 3-4 days but i feel good when i do it so i think thats why i keep doing this. Idk what to do sincerely, so if someone can help me ASAP id be very glad, i have messages open just in case

I know that's what this sub is for but truthfully it works. And I don't mean just hear, in person is better as you can't lie as well. I told my friends and the usage of it went down. I started talking to a girl and dating her and I have no desire to look at it or even masturbate. It may suck, but believe in yourself and it will happen.

Started watching sissy porn when I was 16, I’m 27 now. I’ve been fully in the lifestyle for the last few years with my wife involved. It has felt good, but I’ve felt intense shame and not like myself a lot of the time. It’s come to a head as I’ve been secretly taking hormones for a few months, and accidentally slipt into a cuck addiction as well. Secretly talking to men online. Really ashamed. I know what I’m doing is wrong. I just can’t stop. I wake up every day and do the same pattern of spend my entire pre work morning talking to men and watching sissy porn. Bleh. I’m so tired. Could really use a friend or something. To talk to. Or any advice would be great!

Hi, trying to be good

I am an nb person, maybe a bit transfemme.

I am trying to not masturbate, which is tempting now I work from home

I'm trying a chastity device but there's lots of practical problems, mostly around hiding it from my wife, the ease with which I could take it off, and the fact that I seem to "leak" a lot.

Has anyone else tried it? Any success stories or alternatives?

The dream is a pair of enchanted knickers that make my penis not exist for 8 hours a day

I have to admit there's something quite nice about using the bathroom in it, which is a bit of a surprise

Friends and suggestions welcome.

Hey everyone.

I am 21 male Muslim, and I have been battling this addiction for 5 years or more now.

For 5 years I haven't managed to beat this, quite the opposite, I keep going deeper.

I feel like I am close to giving up, not really but it's just frustrating and. It feels like I can't escape.

Would appreciate some advice. My dms are open or on discord yoka0134

Getting just straight to it, I bottomed for a trans MtF off Grindr a couple months back and now I can't stop seeking it out.

I am so confused with my sexuality, and my upbringing and experiences only confuse me further. Basically, I never watched porn until my early 20's. I simply didn't have a computer growing up, so porn is out of the question as to why I am the way I am. Basically, I started masturbating at 13, and went straight to putting stuff up my butt. I had a couple girlfriends in my teenage years, and through them I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm attracted to women, not men, but I always got aroused to the thought of being dominated and/or humiliated.

Fast forward to 2013, age 23, after having my own computer for a couple years and having access to porn, I discover sissy hypno. This led me to meeting a couple guys off Grindr. Despite being aroused by the idea of bottoming, I was still in denial, so instead I topped these guys. It was fucking awful. Anyway, that whole experience gave me the epiphany to turn everything around and get my shit together, which I kinda did.

The next 11 years were spent self-improving. As a result of a healthier lifestyle and outlook, I dated a lot of girls, had a fair number of one-night stands and FWBs. Despite this, I have never been able to shake off my true desires.

It has slowly crept up on me, a gradual surrender and acceptance to who I am, to where in 2022, I had decided that I was just going to fully give in to my desires, which specifically is to be a trans woman's bottom. I had several willing participants in the last 2 years, but I would get panic attacks as soon as I was about to leave my house for the meet up and I wouldn't show up. Anyway, after these 2 years, just a couple months ago, I finally met up with someone and did what I always wanted to do. The floodgates have now opened, and I am constantly on Grindr looking for the next person who can fulfil this "need" of mine.

I have no idea if I'm bisexual or not. Why do I want sex in this way? Why am I not attracted to men if this is what I want? Yea, I had a neglectful family in early childhood, but that isn't the case anymore, so I feel like it's not a case of conditioning, not a case of me having mommy issues or whatever, but rather something innate. Idk. It's all so confusing because porn didn't shape this, I have had arousing thoughts on being dominated since before masturbating even, and I'm in my mid 30's now, meaning I've been dealing with this fetish/desire/sexuality for like 25 years now.

I feel like most people outside of this sub would just tell me to start dating trans women, but I think that would just be me dating someone out of a fetish, which is obviously not cool.

Am I just doomed for life?

This stuff has ruined so many things in my life yet I still continue to do it.

Not to completely focus on the negative but this whole year has shown that I can't do both. I had months where I've tried to get with guys. I "trained" myself for the real thing every weekend and sometimes on week nights. Because of it I've canceled plans with friends, ignored my increasingly worsening chronic pain, destroyed my self worth to the point part of me literally believes that I'm a lonely sissy gooner and that's okay fine in fact it's who I am, among many other issues.

One of the last times I posted over four months ago I wrote how this has to end otherwise I will. That's still true. Since then Ive had some success in quitting. Best example is going almost three weeks clean in October. I tried therapy but that didn't help and was too expensive to continue because I'm unemployed and still can't get a decent job-I blame this addiction as part of the reason I got fired from my job. Kinda hard to keep one when you show up with low energy, unmotivated, no focus etc.

Now I'm at it again. I'm finally able to get my own place again soon thanks to saving up the past 4 months living with roommates but on top of that I wanna buy all the shit back. When I moved out of my last place I threw out all the toys and clothes and even deleted most of my accounts, pics etc. Well now I wanna do it all again. I already created new accounts on my favorite sites. I've downloaded pics again of past women Ive lusted over and I even joined several discords for sissies and gooners. WTF man... How the hell do I stop this? I can't afford to buy anything but part of me is willing to dip into my savings again. I feel manic. I feel so divided between what I want and what I need

I can't be a masculine dude with my ideal body, always focused and goal oriented mindset, not constantly sexualizing woman, be confident and have a high self worth and so much more. All of which would lead me to getting more friends (I desperately need a bigger social circle) and a girlfriend (I haven't dated in over five years).

This addiction wants the opposite. It demands you see yourself as a loser weak beta whose definitions of those things are completely messed up. It tells me I like men and I'm suppose to submit to alphas and spread the word of the bnwo. My seriously badly addicted to bbc porn. My mind loves it....until I cum.

A few weeks back I had a sexual dream about me and a dude. That's never happened before. This dream was during the time I was over two weeks clean. I won't lie, I found it very hot.

If you read my past post you'll know I think I've discovered I'm heteroflexible meaning that if the situation called for it I would do some sexual things with a guy but I'm not romantically wanting that with a guy. I think that's okay for me but it's screwing with me wanting to stay clean because being with a guy means I'm the submissive one unless it's a femboy or younger trans or something. Idk man it's all weird and still confusing to me.

I wish I could just flip a switch in my head. Wake up one day knowing deep down that I'm not that guy who watches porn anymore. I let me decide what I like sexually and have no outside influences on that choice. I wish I felt I didn't need to have sex (or in my case, jerk off) to survive when it's literally killing me in multiple aspects of my life.

Okay rant over. I kinda lost where I was going with this. Any advice, positive words or whatever is appreciated. Please help me decide to not spend money on stuff again. If I did I wouldn't want to quit for a few months because I'd want to use the stuff and play out some fantasies.....ugh I really want to buy stuff, post on reddit and have a guy over asap....but then again I really don't want that.

I wrote a free and short book on recovery called UNDOMINTATE YOURSELF

here's the link:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aCEmkDZDIGcVR5W9NQgCsrjMwYALRcDL_62ZBhqM1L4/edit?usp=sharing

I left this thread for ten years to see what else might work, and now I am 4 years sober from all porn.

I am planning on leaving this thread again but want to share this free resource, and feel free to share it with others.

Before I leave, ask me anything, I'm here to help where I can. Thanks.