Guys I accidentally messed up and idk how to go about the situation. So I’m very new to a D/S relationship. I found a D who is probably on paper, perfect. But, I struggle with mental illness, and so I’m in therapy, and we were talking about narcissistic mothers (iykyk), and I think I really only like him because he can meet needs of mine that weren’t met as a child. While that may not seem like a problem, other than getting railed and then the aftercare, I really am not all that attracted to him. Do I think he’s an amazing person? Yes, but I think he wants something more serious, and while I used to think the same thing. I’m having doubts now. Now I just realized this, and now I feel so bad. I obviously need to have a conversation with him, but I don’t even know where to begin. He is such a nice guy, I don’t wanna hurt him.

It was more on accident haha but I’m on cloud nine.

How do you get collared on accident you may ask? Let me tell you pfft.

I was over at my doms house for the first time this weekend and whilst I was there I got to wear a lockable collar, which i absolutely love.

He hasn’t truly collared me yet because I still live with my family and whilst they are aware of my sexual tendencies (at least my mother is) I don’t want to constantly confront them with it, I find that rude.

Anyways today to leave his place I put my clothes back on (I was naked the entire time I was there) and the top that I wore has a turtleneck.

Welp, we’re sitting in the car and suddenly I grab my neck and say „shit we forgot to take the collar off“ well he didn’t have the key with him and we were halfway home so we couldn’t turn around and drive back.

So yeah now I’m accidentally locked inside a collar 😂 since it’s leather he did say it’s fine for me to just cut it open to get it off if I feel the need to do so but that feels criminal to me in some way haha

hello. im not sure if this is the right subreddit but i have a lot of questions on what it means to be a sub. Please bear with me. I want to say this from the very start so you guys can have some context abt me. It's a bit long. I apologise

While the concept of BDSM isnt new to me, subbing is.

For context, i recently met this dom here in reddit while i was scrolling through various subreddits out of curiosity. Originally, i just wanted to say that i hope she finds her sub soon but somehow i found myself drawn to her and her intelligence. I admit, cocky and arrogant people are my type– especially the intelligent ones. But anyway, i found myself captivated by her charm so i continued to talk to her (mostly out of curiosity). I had fun talking to her and she would always reply asap and apologise for responding late (which idm since we have different lives outside of our phones) and it escalated until we decided to transfer to telegram.

We exchanged pics and when I first suggested that she should send hers first, she got mad(?) she started being aggressive (for the lack of better word) and said, non verbatim: "why should i send my pictures first when i was the one who asked?" And i told her, "idk... I'd be much more comfortable if you sent them first" (mind you, i grew up very insecure with my facial and physical appearance since i got bullies a lot— i grew up fat thats why) and she started sending multiple messages in a row. "Whats the problem?", "anything wrong?", "is something up?", and "What's the catch?" It was around 3 am when this conversation happened and idk if this is worth mentioning but i recently jwu from my power nap after being u for 3 days from making floor plans for schoolwork. so receiving those messages alarmed me so bad it made all of my drowsiness go away and i felt disorientated and disorganized.

She didn't say anything about my pics so i jokingly asked her when she'll ghost me bc tbh, in physical terms, im not her type. She prefers those with apparent asian features or those pretty southeastern asians and im neither: a asian w/ double eyelids and southeastern facial features. She immediately called me out on my bullshit— which i appreciate btw and that's when the slow replies started. I understand how busy she is because of her life as a working professional ( and i also admit that i admire her for being so hardworking and that inspired me to work harder so I'll be on the same level as her) and a day would go by without a reply and it made me anxious, i would start backtracking our conversations, trying to find flaws with my messages. I would even send her messages like, "hey, are we okay? I mjss talking to you" and she would go online and read my message then go offline again. I kept telling myself "she isn't obligated to reply to your messages. She has her own life. You are not her sub so lower your expectations even more" i would repeat those words over and over again until i start feeling better.

I've read a post here about the rules, red flags and what to watch out for when youre a new sub. And when i reached the part about "Vetting" i immediately raised and eyebrow because i asked her general questions about BDSM (i told her i wanted to read in advance so I'd have an idea of what im abt to get into and she said i shouldn't get ahead of myself so ive been reading behind her back).

I made a survey about what i know so far and her answers were vague like she was just forced to answer them :( i asked her the important questions like if i enter this dynamic with her, will this be like a poly or a mono relationship and if romantic feelings wont be involved so i can draw boundaries and stop myself from getting attached but she ignored them like how she didn't acknowledge my concern in being a virgin with zero romantic or sexual experiences. Im trying my best to be clear and communicate with her but it seems like im just a nuisance to her or at least... that's how i feel. idk it made me feel upset when there were clear signs of her being dry towards me. I wanted to ask her if we're okay but i know she'd just say yes and i know that i wouldnt even question it and take her word for it. I also know im not her sub so i should even be feeling upset. I think im just feeling confused because her tone when texting changed.

Just a few days ago when i finally shared my location with her, i asked her to turn her location on so it would be fair on my end and she refused. She became defensive and asked me a question implying if im challenging her dominance to which i said, im not. She said i was asking for too much and i immediately assured her that while I respect her role as the dominant one but i also need to feel safe and secure. Im not questioning nor challenging her dominance, i just want mutual trust and safety and that asking her to reciprocate and turn her location on too isnt too much. I just wanted to feel safe.

Until now, she hasnt replied and i turned my location off for the meantime. Idk,, i feel very conflicted because again, im not her sub and she has no obligations to respond right away but :((( i feel pathetic for trying to make myself more appealing to her. I used to get turned on when she gets mad now all i feel is fear and something similar to impending doom

Idk,,, any thoughts? Or advice? Please.. thanks

I hope this is the right place to ask but after looking through a few Reddit groups this looks to be the most friendly so I’m hoping my post will be ok!

Is there a difference between being just submissive/liking to be dominated in nature and actually wanting to play the role in a sub/dom relationship?

I’m in my late 30s and havent been in a relationship for 12 years since my son was born as I know the type of men I tend to lean towards and I didn’t want to risk bringing an abusive partner into my son’s life (not that I like abusive men but that I know because I go for dominant men it can turn into something I’m not wanting it to if I go for the wrong person). So I’ve stayed single.

I’ve just recently had the revelation that maybe it’s a dom I’m needing. My last relationship wasn’t a dom/sub relationship in that we weren’t knowingly playing any role, we just naturally fell into it (we didn’t have safe words and no discussion on it).The parts that kept me in my last relationship (when I should have left for other reasons) was him holding me accountable with a look, making sure I behaved and was the best version of myself, making sure I acted accordingly even when I was emotionally all over the place hormonally etc it made me feel very safe. He always liked to be in control and have the final say on everything, which I liked. He could also handle me well, I know I can be a handful sometimes with mouthing off or pushing etc. It kept me with him longer than it should have simply because I’d been in relationships before and none of them came close to fulfilling that part of me. I felt I’d hit the jackpot.

My thing is when I read about dom/sub relationships I just know I wouldn’t be submissive all of the time, I know I push limits. I wouldn’t always want it to be a sexual thing about punishments, spanking etc. From reading different things about it it seems like a safe word is always recommended (which I feel would make it feel fake to me-sorry not meaning any offense) and that generally a dom expects obedience 100% of the time and if it isn’t done then a punishment ensues. That sounds like a fun sexual game but where does that cross over to real life? Where it’s my time of the month and I’m losing my shit emotionally and need my guy to be firm and slow my mind down for me, where I’m getting all worked and nervous about something and I need to be regrounded to be able to be calm?

Does this sound like a dom/sub relationship I’m looking for? Or just a dominant partner without the labels? I guess my main issue is that I’d prefer it without the labels but then I’m concerned for my safety meeting an abusive guy who wants to control me with no respect.

Feeling a little lost! Would be so grateful to hear other people’s experiences.

Thanks!

My dom and I LOVE making and watching marks on my skin. The joy of watching the marks develop and then fade is absolutely a big part of the fun!

We have a long distance relationship and they requests daily photos after we see each other. I have a hard time taking pics that show the marks properly but are still hot. Specifically thighs and butt. I’m chubby with a nice big butt 🤣 and can get the butt pics well but when the thighs are involved it looks like a clinical photo ffs.

Any tips on poses? I just take them with my iPhone. Thank you!!

How important is it for me as a girl friend to be submissive to my boyfriend? We are committed and talk about marriage and children and how we want to be more traditional. I tell him I am more submissive and listen to him mostly although I think he’s like it more.

Like last night I went out only for a little with a friend to the bar to catch up and have a holiday drink and he said that’s for single ladies and when I was coming home. Mind you I was home like before 10pm.

The original post https://www.reddit.com/r/SubSanctuary/s/UgylLMfVRW

Thank you all for the answers on the previous post. The more I thought about it the more I realised that flowers were a hill to die on for me. I could not believe that the same person that showed me so much care and patience in other means was straight out refusing to meet me halfway on something as simple as flowers.

The day I posted that was terrible. I thought about the whole relationship and about the current issue the whole day and made up my mind. I was just so sad, but I couldn't see any path forward.

There was just so much to take on. My Dom / bf tried reaching out multiple times to me to make sure I was ok throughout the day. I made it clear I wasn't...

I didn't even open the app to check if he updated the rewards during the day and I was given up.

Some two months before we had had another incident where he agreed to something then changed his mind and didn't do it. That got resolved then, but now I didn't dare and didn't want to bring it up again.

All the replies made me realise that I begged for something so simple more than enough and I thought even if it wasn't for me posting I would have reached the very same conclusion: that I'm done. The emotional tall was too much.

All the things he said... Just like in the good old song... But then having the solution to all of the issues there, agreeing to it, and not doing it...

In the evening we called and I couldn't even gather much energy to really talk, so it was more him talking and me saying yes or no or other one words...

Only after we concluded that we'd rather go on separate ways i mastered my energy to say something along the lines "the solution was not applied, even after we discussed so I'm not sure why you expected me to be ok today" as he said the previous night he thought I was ok... And I had been before the morning when I realised those fucking flowers were still not listed as rewards.

Then there was a huge silent moment from him followed by some clarifying questions and a metaphorical facepalm for him when he realised he failed...

That moment I realised with all the exhaustion and hightened emotions and everything going on he simply didn't register what the solution was and that with not adding the flowers was just an honest mistake.

We talked more and something I can't wrap my head around still (almost a week later) is how he still doesn't wanna get me flowers outside of the dynamic, but is perfectly fine getting me flowers through obedience, if I earn them through obedience.

Even though the flowers are there listed as a reward I just want to see him in person and fully go through everything and have a "revamp" before re-startint the app.

I wanna thank all fellow subs who made time to answer my previous post

Does it bother you when someone new starts calling you baby/ baby girl and other pet names? Or them assuming you want to refer to then as daddy, etc.?

It happens to me so often, I don’t know if I should tell them I would prefer if they don’t until we discuss our dynamic or just block and move on because they have bad intentions. I usually encounter these type of doms on dating apps.

I’m pretty new to this and trying to work on establishing proper boundaries. I’m not entirely against it. It’s just in my experience so far these type of doms usually come in hot and then disappear or once the excitement dies down from finding someone on the app they end up saying, “i’m just not the right fit for them.”

It ends up being pretty painful after revealing so much of myself.

I am new to bdsm and I am trying to get closer with my Dom without getting sexual. what type of questions should I be asking?

28f Imean I guess this equates to feeling lonely without a partner. My first dom ghosted me and I’m sad about it. I didn’t see him for any crazy long amount of time (just under a year and it was casual). But I miss him. It happened like 2 months ago. It’s hard to meet people where I live also.

I’ve been filling the void by listening to podcasts and reading about how to be a good sub and how to find a good dom since I’m new. But I just feel so empty. But at the same time I don’t feel like dating or meeting anyone yet. I’ve been taking a lot of time for myself to do stuff and explore who I am. But I can’t help feeling this almost natural need to submit to someone sexually and it’s driving me crazy. It’s hard. I gets worse during ovulation week too lmao but that’s a given I guess.

Does anyone else feel like this??

Hi I'm new to being a sub I was interested in trying this out and recently found a dom whos older than me who when we first started talking said I had some rules I needed to follow. he said they were standard and regular for most subs to follow these types of rules. I guess I just wanted someone whos also a sub and more experienced to let me know if these are normal.
rule one.) dress code, I want to start this off with he fact that i live in a very cold state and it is now winter and it snows heavily here. but the dress code is as follows.... i am only allowed to wear tight tops, no long sleeves no hoodies. i can only wear shorts or skirts. fitting dresses are also allowed. Which again i had talked to him saying wearing such little clothing in my cold state would be hard and i could get hypothermia or something. he wasn't really willing to budge on this.
rule two.) I'm never allowed to wear underwear, even if I'm in public and even if I'm on my period (i use pads). which then brought up the discussion about feminine hygiene products, he said i wasn't allowed to use those either.
rule three.) I'm not allowed to have male friends. i really don't want to have to cut off what little friends i have left since after high school i lost so many friends. i barley have anyone to talk to anymore.

i just really need your guy's advice and let me know if I'm being unreasonable for not liking these rules :(

Hi! So I [26f] have been with my boyfriend and dom for a year now and we've been exploring my submissive side together. And I've told him plenty of times how sometimes, especially if I'm feeling a bit sad or irritable (due to hormones mainly), or if maybe we're arguing about something stupid and I'm just being stubborn, sometimes I just feel the need to feel submissive, a little extra submissive so I can feel safer and just better and calmer.

What are things (not necessarily sexual or during sex) that he can do to make me feel more submissive, more his?

The only example I can think about is him putting my collar on me if we're home.

let me preface by saying idek if this is the right subreddit for me to post this on?? but since I'm mostly a sub I thought it would be. this is a rather long post. basically I have no idea what I'm doing send help

ok so my partner (25m) & I (23f) have been together for 5 years. I had been exposed to D/s in my teen years & particularly DDlg; I was rly into it, & then I started exploring different things. I do have a dominant side so I consider myself a switch, but I tend to prefer being a sub (a rather bratty one, tbh).

my darling has not had a previous relationship. I am the first & only person he has ever been with. however it's hardly caused us any issues because he is so open, patient, caring, listens so well, & is just the most amazing partner, hence we have been together for 5 years. I am truly in love with this man. we want to get married & have kids so we're very serious about each other.

now, here's the thing: we're both pretty sexually inexperienced. I had a handful of experiences as a teenager but it never reached the level of penetration or anything. I did express early on to him that I liked the idea of being dominated but I am happy to also dominate, so we both identified as switches, but I think a lot of what we've done through the years hasn't really been a proper D/s dynamic (whether I'm Dom or he is, though as I said I'm more often sub).

he is dominant in the sense that he takes responsibility for me & my wellbeing. he has financially taken care of me. our dynamic has often echoed DDlg; he will treat me like I'm his little girl, & I adore feeling like he is my caregiver. sometimes it does swap & I am the one in a caregiving position, but he takes far more responsibility for me than I do him, likely because I am younger & still studying whereas he has gotten his degree & is working full-time.

but I think the fact that it isn't properly defined has now made it... difficult. I started to get frustrated. I feel he's too nice, he's too soft. & whilst I don't always mind him being the baby sometimes, most of the time I want to be the baby! I want to be the one looked after! & I want him to take care of me properly! I did have this conversation with him. it was difficult, a lot of tears from me because I felt like I was asking too much.

he said that, if he's going to take charge, that I must then be obedient, because when he has tried I have responded with a lot of pushback or even reacted negatively, of which I can't remember but I don't think he's lying at all. I told him I would try to be obedient & that I'm just a person with volatile emotions... & that he must trust he is doing what's best for me even if I react negatively. he reminded me that I'll always be his baby... which made my sub heart very happy.

however, after we had this discussion, I've definitely seen a change in our sex life, but I still feel neither of us is adequately informed about it... I want to learn more, but where? how? how am I supposed to help him and explain what I want if I hardly know enough about it?

Just wanted to share my experience in case it helps anybody else in similar situation.

For some backstory I've been with my wife for over 10 years now. I've fantasized about being submissive in bed (and in a relationship) for longer than that, but it took a few years to come out to my wife about these desires. I made a number of classic mistakes as I didn't know about communities like these on reddit to reference at the time, to my wife's credit she gave it a try a few times, but she really isn't a naturally dominant personality and never could get comfortable in a dominant role. Unfortunately this resulted in her feeling guilty for not being able to satisfy my submissive desires, which became a large contributing factor to anxiety and panic attacks related to sex. She also developed pain with intercourse and arousal that added to the sex-related anxiety. Naturally this put significant strain on our relationship, after not doing so well with a couple different relationship therapists we finally found a therapist that clicks with us both really well and we started meeting with her both together and individually. At first the focus was on navigating the issue and helping my wife through both the generalized and sex-related anxiety issue, but in meeting with her we found that years of me suppressing my submissive desires was a negative for my mental health as well. It was actually on the recommendation of our therapist that we consider ENM to the point of me meeting with a Pro Dom to explore some of these fantasies and desires I've harbored for so long. This required quite a bit of communication and boundary setting between my wife and I, but we decided it was worth doing. To be clear I had never paid for sex in any capacity, so I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea initially, but the idea of really opening the relationship to a third feels even more dangerous/daunting to us.

My first pro dom turned out to be a T-girl. I think that was less threatening to me as I knew I wouldn't be falling in love with a t-girl, but as she's quite feminine could still fit the roll. I met with her probably about 10 times total and had some really great new experiences. However as she's neurodivergent I had a hard time connecting with her on a mental level and after a few miscommunications and less than stellar sessions she stopped offering her availability and I quit asking for it. Fortunately through Fetlife I found another pro dom a few months ago, and so far it seems to be going very well. Met her for brunch first to discuss interests and make sure we vibed well enough, and since then have had two session and have scheduled another soon. She seems to authentically enjoy domming me and the prospect of the different experiences we plan to do have me very excited for the future! Best part is that seeing the pro dom has taken so much pressure off of my wife as she no longer feels any pressure to meet those needs of mine that our sex life between the two of us is much improved as well! I doubt that my relationship with my wife will ever be the d/s dynamic I dream of, but I feel like the luckiest guy in the world being married to my best friend who loves and trusts me enough to let me have these experiences with a beautiful and kinky young woman.

If anybody has any questions or want to know more about how we got to this point, feel free to comment or DM me. Happy to share.

Sir bought me a wonderful (expensive!) gift… a motor bunny! He has wanted to gift this to me for a long time. But I feel like I’m too short to use it well, possibly? I can’t put my knees on the floor so I can’t manage the “depth” of the attachments. Plus, the vibration is so strong and non-specific, it seems to vibrate my whole torso and make me sick rather than aroused. We are going to try the chair, but I’m desperate for any tips! I really want to love his gift and I’m so sad because he was so excited for it!

I reallllly want to get myself a shock collar while they’re on sale for Black Friday but I shouldn’t. I was testing out the one my mom has for her dog and I got this idea for a scene in my head that I want to try out so badly. I want someone to try to train me with negative reinforcement with command words in a language I don’t speak so I have to try and figure out what they want me to do. Im too much of a good boy, I never get to be actually punished for things because I never break the rules, but if I didn’t know what the rules were and had to figure them out… and the idea of doing a task around the house and being called back to the bed room with just a buzz. Or taking a hike and getting shocked if I hike too far ahead. Getting shocked to tell me to come back to their side when we pass another group on the trail, like I’m an overeager puppy they can’t trust to socialize with other pups. Or out at a party, if I wander to far or get another drink once I’ve been cut off or if I spend too much time being a wallflower. I don’t know, I feel like that’d be so much fun.

But I don’t have a consistent dom I trust enough to pitch this idea to, and I’m worried if I actually have a shock collar, I’ll be more likely to cut corners vetting someone hand over the remote too quickly, I get excited very quickly and sometimes it clouds my judgement. But there’s so many cute ones online… alternatively I could steal the one my moms dog wears cause she very much overuses it, I would be doing this dog a favor honestly.

I really don’t understand and it’s upsetting. There was a post the other day about people’s early experiences with kink and how they realized they were into it. They were sharing stories from earlier childhood and I did the same. But I got permanently banned for talking about underaged sexualizing! What I said was no different than anyone else, except that I had said my attraction to BDSM came from trauma. I don’t know if this was too dark, I didn’t give any details, and I apologized to the mod, but they didn’t reply. I truly don’t understand what I did wrong and it sucks so much because it’s the only other good bdsm discussion sub i know of. That entire thread was talking about early experiences, why would i get banned….

im new in the community and just wanna talk to other subs because i feel kinda isolated sometimes..

so about me, im afab enby and 20 years old, my name is fungus (gus for short) and i have a beautiful dominant mommy who is everything I could ever want, but I do want to take our dom/sub dynamic a little farther than it is rn.

anyways my messages are always open and if yall wanna introduce yourselves in the comments I'd love to meet you guys ! 🫶

🔖 Join the SubSanctuary Book Club! 🔖

Are you a submissive looking to connect with others and explore the world of personal growth through literature? Join us in December as we read Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, a transformative guide to reclaiming your time, energy, and peace through healthy boundaries. With practical advice, reflection exercises, and relatable examples, this book is the perfect tool for strengthening relationships, improving communication, and stepping into 2025 with confidence.

📚 What to Expect:

• Weekly discussions and reflections on boundaries, submission, and personal empowerment.
• A supportive, submissive-only community to explore your journey.

Rules:

• NO DOMS. This is a space for submissives only.
• Switches are welcome, but all interactions must be from the right side of the slash.

Onboarding Process:

Upon accepting the invitation, you will receive a CAPTCHA message from our auto-bot to verify your humanness. Please ensure you are logged into Discord and check your messages promptly. The CAPTCHA must be completed **within 20 minutes** to finalize your entry. If it is not completed in time, you will be automatically removed and will need to rejoin the server.

Once inside, we kindly request that you complete the following onboarding steps before interacting with the community:

1. Review the server rules.
2. Familiarize yourself with the server directory.
3. Introduce yourself in the introduction channel.

After these steps are completed, you will be able to fully participate in discussions and activities.

📅 ImportantDetails:

• What We’re Reading: Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
• When We Start: Sunday, December 1, 2024.
• Discord Invite Open: Open now through Saturday, November 30, 2024 (midnight MST)
• Where We Meet: On Discord.
• Weekly Schedule: Suggested readings and discussion prompts will be posted every week to guide us through the book.

📖 Reading Plan:

• Week 1 (Dec 1–8): Preface through Chapter 3
• Week 2 (Dec 9–15): Chapters 4–7
• Week 3 (Dec 16–22): Chapters 8–11
• Week 4 (Dec 23–31): Chapters 12–15

Come join us in the SubSanctuary Book Club and connect with others on the same path!

Discord Invite:

[https://discord.gg/7mdYvyqCPj\](https://discord.gg/7mdYvyqCPj)

We look forward to welcoming you!

First post on reddit so I apologize if I don't word this correctly. I didn't think I had sub drop until my Dom asked me to read up on it. I now realize I have Days later drop. My thing is I haven't read anything about the way mine works. After a regular session I don't get tired at all, if anything I get an adrenaline rush. I find my self being energized. I can get so much done in the two-three hours afterwards. After an extreme session I can be awake for up to twenty four hours. I'll go to sleep and feel normal when I wake up. It takes between five to ten days then I'll have a couple of hours to a full day of feeling like I'm not good enough and that my Dom deserves better. I'll have a couple boughts of intense crying that only last about ten minutes a couple times scattered through the day this only lasts about a day. I feel I need to mention I have Asperger's and ADHD but do not show a lot of behaviors that most people even some people that are close to me have no idea I have these. Once the sub drop comes in and works its way through. I feel like I progressed forward like I've reached another level. Does anyone else experience this?

Cute, sexy surprises? Thoughtful gift or fun traditions? Let’s share some ideas.

It’s my first Christmas with my Daddy and I’m struggling with holding back on the presents ☺️

Me (sub)and my girlfriend (dom)we are in relationship for three years and suddenly she says we need to switch it up for a while ,I'm really confused.is this normal?

So, about 4 months ago, my highschool ex and I reconnected and he essentially became my dom. He’s a switch, but I’m a submissive brat to my core. We haven’t really played in a month and he warned me early on about his “cave feelings”. He just gets into moods where he doesn’t want to talk, he focuses on his gaming and his irl life. This is the second time he’s been in this mood and the first time it happened(two months in), I didn’t take it well at all. We talked about it, and I decided I needed to step back because I felt like feelings were there on my end that were stronger than his.

He also stated he wanted no part of a romantic relationship before we started things, and I felt confused because I felt like I was being treated as a romantic partner before this “cave feeling” thing hit.

Anyway, after I said I wanted to take a step back, about two weeks later he came out of his cave. I told him I would entertain him via text or messaging but I really thought physical sex should stay off the table. About a week later, I gave in. That was about a month ago… it seemed like 24 hours later, the “cave feeling” hit again and I’ve tried so hard to respect it… but the only time we had any sort of conversation, it was all sexting, and I was left going through my day picking up my phone and waiting to hear from him…

I’ve now found myself disgusted with myself… he tried to message me tonight, apologized for not talking to me, said work was crazy, and I tried to engage in conversation… but he replied again with something sexual, and I told him “I’m sorry, but I’m in a weird head space and I just can’t interact with this, but have fun and have a good night”. He did ask if there was anything he could do to help, and I should have said “have an actual conversation with me,” but that felt… needy… so I just told him no and to go have fun…

Then I read about sub drop. Is that what this sad feeling is? Or is it really just that I developed feelings and need to not see him again? Maybe not talk either?

He’s not a malicious person, at all, and he’s never MEAN to me. I even told him “I think it’s sub drop? And from what I’m reading, I’m supposed to communicate that? But like… it’s other things too? And I don’t know how to communicate those things? Because I’m slightly pissed off at myself?” To which he replied that we could talk more about it tomorrow and explore it, he asked me for a wake up call so he could get to work on time, and he would read up on sub drop to understand better.

I’m just confused…

I am going to a kink event at a sex club soon and I am very worried about what I can wear. I am a masc ish trans dyke but not totally opposed to skirts or dresses. However I have some really strong discomfort with wearing clothes that show a lot of my body and I normally wear everything very oversized and casual. Showing my (flat, post top surgery) chest is okay as is my legs. But generally not both at the same time. The venue very clearly states casual clothing is not okay. Suggestions for respecting the space and also feeling like myself? I am going with my domme who is a lot more brave and comfy with this kind of thing but we have very different styles.

Would love to chat with older subs. Would love to chat with all that wants to. But like to learn from older subs what their experience has been like. Share tips and rants.

He slid into my DMs and seemed encouraging, we texted for a while, I didn't think to check his profile. When I finally did, I just found a lot of posts about him being a Dom and looking for a Sub.

And yeah, it's not the end of the world, I should have been smarter, but it just made me sad and angry. We texted a lot and it was nice, but it feels bitter now.

I wish all Doms on here a pleasant evening full of everything that can possibly go wrong. Don't treat this as a dating site or I'll treat you as a chopping board.

I have so much to overshare aaaaaaaaa

I really love obeying. I don’t have a bratty bone in me and I honestly worry that my Dom is gonna get bored eventually even after all the years we’ve been together because I’m not a challenge like other girls. But more than that, I’m just shocked and a little ashamed at how deeply I want to serve my Dom, it feels kinda embarrassing how much I want to give to him and say yes to everything. Can anyone relate?

I really want to get into a d/s relationship, but I have no idea where to start or how to find one. Also stupid question, is a Mommy Dom different from a true Dom and how would I go about finding a Mommy Dom?

Let me preface with I have an amazing online dom. He is really patient and he's the first dom I've had who really cared about consent and doing everything in a safe way. He's also the first person to really nail the importance of safewords and that is exactly what I was looking for. He has had some years of experience and I'm thankful he is also kind of teaching me. I'm very new to all this and he is aware.

A couple nights ago, we were sexting when it was pretty late and I felt subspace for the first time! It was a wonderful feeling to have finally felt.

But the issue arose when I didn't immediately identify it as subspace because it was my first time. I tried to describe it to him (in text), saying I felt different and almost more in-tune with what was going on/what he was having me do irl. That I felt really good and etc. Then I asked if it was subspace and he asked if I really thought so and replied that I think it is subspace and then a few minutes later he went to bed.

I was really sad when he kind of abruptly went to sleep. I felt really abandoned and I felt lost.

We talked about it later and he, after more discussion, said he agreed it was subspace but said that he was skeptical when I told him while we were sexting. Which also felt hurtful that he didn't really believe me when I said I thought it was.

After more discussion, he apologized and he was really sweet but I still feel pretty bad internally/emotionally. I don't blame him for not knowing. It's hard to convey things over text and I didn't know you could subspace over text. Also I had never felt that before. And it was the time of when he normally went to bed. Just sucks going to subspace happened then.

I kind of feel like I'm overreacting but at the same time my emotions are still very negative. Now me and my dom are on break and I'm just sorting out my emotions by doing things like writing about it.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for with this post, I just wanted to share it somewhere.