Hey All;

A prokopton here, hoping for some advice. I'll post the question itself right below, then context below that.

I'll say I'm asking this question here because I consider myself on the road to being a Stoic; I've spent much of the last 9 years reading Stoic texts and meditating on them. So I wanted to ask others in the context of Stoic thought how they might help me through this problem.

TLDR Question:
How do I evaluate a feeling of alienation and a desire to move to try to find community and belonging?

Context:

I have, for quite some time, felt like I'm not a part of my local community. Not that I haven't tried, though I will admit I've not exhausted every avenue, but that between entrenched highly opinionated individuals, general anti-social individuals, and whatever the Pandemic has done to the world/my country, I'm finding that I'm a bit isolated.

Below I will assess things as best I can; do not think I am trying to bitch here.
For context, I live in the United States of America.

I have a wife, whom I love and have no complaints about.
I possess two dogs, whom I also care for and do spend time exercising and walking.
I possess a house, which I attempt to care for to the best of my ability.
I work a job, which pays for, in general, what I need to survive and to a certain extent what I want.

But I do not love my job, but I don't expect to. But if one does not love one's job, you should be working towards some other goal. Importantly, I don't hate it. It's just uninteresting to me. Not the topic here.
I love my wife, but she's not really a goal. Supporting her comfort isn't a bad thing (and I'm more than willing to do it), but it isn't exactly morally, personally, or existentially fulfilling or meaningful. I am not suggesting I want to stop that, but that it isn't exactly much of much of anything.
Taking care of my dogs is fine.

But my job is (mostly) remote, and as such, the work-community is... non-existent.
The city is filled with people who are, at this time, mostly just on their own journeys, heads down, on their phones, frightened at contact with anyone outside of a transaction (and even those are avoided at all costs, both financial and effort).
The religious institutions locally are filled with people mostly going through the motions (and earnestly, I'm not theologically aligned enough to engage seriously in those communities, but that's a topic for a different time).
Small talk isn't even a thing anymore, except with the occasional Uber driver or gas station attendant, where we complain about the same thing.

My town is filled with either those who have lived here their entire lives (or at least from before I was born), or transient residents who live here for a couple years for a job then move on. Neither are interested in engaging with me. I don't have children (yet, hopefully, fates willing), so the 'parents' groups, which seem to be the modicum of community offered around, aren't an option. The town politics are entrenched and filled with those who have more time than I certainly do for attending various and sundry meetings and subcommittees; importantly, I also can't participate actively in politics because of my job and conflict of interest issues.

I guess I don't know how to evaluate this rationally.
I know, practically speaking, I have a lot of things that others desire. I'm in reasonable health, with reasonable wealth, and very little hostile against me.

But I also can't find a way to engage with the world, with my community, with the people.

The attempts I've made to reach out to others have been met with either lukewarm one-way responses, or stony silence.

My wider family don't seem so bothered by this; they all enjoy their television, movies, video games, and exercise. And while I do keep myself fit for health reasons, I don't enjoy these solitary pursuits; they don't fill any sort of need to be a part of something, to be building something, or at the very least, to be seen (not in the sense of social media, but in the sense of as a person; to see and be seen).

And the best advice people keep giving me is to just find a hobby to distract me. But that seems like contributing to the problem: 'Just keep your head down and distract yourself.'

But I would rather find a way, or a place, where I can be a part of the community.

My brother-in-law lives and works overseas in Western Europe. While he maintains it isn't perfect, he does say that there are certainly more opportunities and ways to maintain and be a part of a community.

My wife is not opposed to moving somewhere, provided we do it with some planning. I'm happy to do the work to prepare the way, and it wouldn't be a spur-of-the-moment choice.

I have no illusions that moving would trivially solve all my issues; at best, it would simply create new ones, such as citizenship, work, language.

But on the other hand, to have to work hard to participate in a society that wants participation beyond the payment of tax (that is, to have people be there to contribute to one-another), seems preferable to working in a society that prefers you to be simply on your own, an isolated bubble paying into a large pot and chasing further consumption.

I'll admit here, in my final words, that while I'm not anti-capitalist, I am a capitalist-skeptic, and certainly don't find gung-ho late-stage consuimer capitalism in alignment with Stoic principles.

But how does one look at this rationally? What is the duty to one's community? What am I, as an individual, supposed to do? Especially when feeling like the 'community' one finds oneself in doesn't want you there? Not in some abhorrent way, but out of sheer indifference; as if one doesn't exist.

I'm not seeking fame, just a place to be a part of things, even if a small part. And I wouldn't count paying my taxes as a small part; that is nothing but the barest minimum of existence in a tax-based political society.

Guys this is my 2nd video
if u can please watch it aswell and i hope u like it and learn the essence of travelling using stoic principles

https://youtu.be/Sisviu--GJE

Guys please support me
just spare 5 mins and watch this vdo and leave a like if u like the video

https://youtu.be/WgZTpkdow-E

In this captivating video, we explore the timeless wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, who mastered the art of staying calm amidst chaos. Discover the techniques and principles he used to maintain his composure during tumultuous times, and learn how you can apply these strategies to your own life today. From the importance of mindfulness to reframing challenges as opportunities, we delve deep into Aurelius's teachings that resonate even in our modern world. Join us on this journey to uncover the secrets of resilience and inner peace. Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more insightful content!

Here’s a link to the book’s site where you will find a detailed explanation of its purpose and inspiration.
To summarize that information, the book is intended to be encouraging to the reader, and for what is read to be of use every day. Each poem is a topic, ranging from community, reflecting, and improvement to vicissitudes, being wronged, and death. They are written in an encouraging tone, but also gets a little spicy at times; never rude, but definitely firm, and usually the firmness is directed at reminding myself to be kind and considerate to myself the same way I try to be to others. Each poem - made of 7 haikus - draws inspiration from the Meditations, Discourses, Letters, and other sources of Stoic philosophy.

Here's a link to my Substack community where I invite all of you to come and discuss the contents of the book. There are a few posts there right now, and I intend to send out a new one every couple of weeks. If you do not have the book, here are the first four poems for you to check out, in addition to the poems I have posted over on the Substack page.

Looking forward to discussing these poems with you! They are all marinated in traditional Stoic philosophy, and I hope you find them useful.

Hi everyone!

My name is Aaron, and I am currently a Clinical Psychology PhD candidate at a large teaching hospital in Oregon. I have a longstanding interest in Stoic philosophy and I have recently created a series of guided meditations that are directly inspired by my reading of Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and William Irvine's Stoic talks on the Waking Up Meditation App.

I am trying to create guided meditations that we can use to center ourselves before going out into the day. In these guided meditations I use ideas like Irvine's "prospective retrospection" or "pre-emptive Nostaliga", as well as simpler reflections on basic Stoic virtues.

Essentially, I combine Stoic philosophy, mindfulness, and basic principles of existential psychotherapy in these brief sessions. I did this because it is what I would have wanted for myself, but couldn't find much of on Youtube or Insight Timer.

If it's okay I'd like to share my Insight Timer Profile and Youtube channel links for anyone that's interested. People on Insight Timer seem to enjoy them so far, so I hope you do too!

Insight Timer Link: https://insig.ht/xc8LEfmJ6Mb

Youtube Link: https://youtube.com/@moralmeditation?si=hapaOi1XvtKHq5h2

Best,
Aaron T

https://preview.redd.it/8q12bt848fqd1.jpg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6011303002a70340e7a5f31a4889b6a439031620