Hi there, my daughter is 7 and has autism and a developmental disability. She functions closer to 3 or 4 and is nonverbal. She is still in diapers. She is also in the 99th percentile for height and weight so she is very strong.

We’re having reoccurring issues with vaginal irritation, infections, sometimes UTIs. She doesn’t tolerate me touching down there, I use a showerhead to wash her area but she won’t ever let me clean it thoroughly.

Does anyone have any advice for this? I can’t imagine her ever going to a gynecologist for an exam or even a swab.. it took 4 people to hold her down to look in her mouth at the dentist. Medical stuff is always a big fight so I’m super lost on how to maintain her gynecological health. I sometimes use boric acid suppositories, are those an option for children?

Hello, I received this social story for my younger sibling which is supposed to tell him to keep the lights on in his social care day thingy.

Do you think it's a functional social story? How can I improve it to help him understand. Fyi: my sibling has autism and a moderate learning disability.

Thank you in advance.

Hello everyone. My name is Anthony from Oxnard CA. I’m looking to provide a need in the community and open up a room to an individual on the spectrum. I’ve been working in this field for the past 15 years and would love to help with the housing crisis. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you or know of anyone on the spectrum who needs a happy loving home for low rent 🙏🏼

To families that have dogs and children with special needs: how difficult has it been or how rewarding has it been? I have a 3 year old autistic daughter and a 2 year old daughter born with Down syndrome and am considering adopting a dog.

I need recommendations for doctors that would be willing to diagnose my daughter's special need (mental health). Advise please so I can get her the right help

If you're looking for a place to answer all your questions on special needs, check out this Community

It's helped me a lot so I thought to share https://www.facebook.com/groups/specialneedssupportgroup/?ref=share&mibextid=WaXdOe

Hello, I am doing some research on this for a friend with a special needs child who is hoping to travel to China next year. Her daughter is tube fed with formula and on many liquid medications. Does anyone have experience going through customs & immigrations in China with formula and liquid medications? They have traveled to France multiple times with no issues, and is wondering if there would be any problems with bringing all of these items into China. Thanks for any insights you can provide.

For years I've had the same problem with my child, I've tried everything and I am now searching through parenting books and online advice.

Some context, My child is non-verbal, he is 10 years old and is easily over 5' tall. He loves his Disney movies, music and learning, and a tablet/phone/remote are his safety items. He has frustration with not getting things he wants like any other kid, but his frustration turns into whole meltdowns where he will hit me or he will disrespect/damage his favorite toys or safety items.

We manage from day to day but it makes it hard to replace these things because they are so expensive. The last couple of years I've tried only replacing them on birthdays and holidays so he understands the long term ramifications of breaking an expensive tablet. (He breaks them in little more than a month to just three days out of the box. )

But him being non verbal, these tablets mean more to him than just a device to store movies, it's his communication device, his safety device.

The core issue is his screen addiction, which causes the explosive frustration, but he has sensory needs that he feels the need to meet with the device, and the fact that it turns so quickly into a safety device that opens up his world. (Like suddenly he will want to walk around the block or go explore now that he has his tablet, he feels confident.) I'm just kind of lost on how to handle this.

How do I help him learn patience so he's not to destructive?

It's a fair bit of information to also list, he hits, hard for a ten year old obviously because of his size.

I bought a new parenting book that's coming in the mail with a new tablet. I want to do this right. Please give me some pointers on how I can establish a better routine or whatever I need to stop the insane meltdowns and fits and hitting connected to the loss/use of the tablet.

Duchenne muscular dystrophy. Autism, global learning delay, adhd. We've brought a horse shoe magnet, another one is ordered. Headphones. Xbox pad, clothes because he likes the smell of new clothing. Is there anything to suggest, he can't break or rip (we don't have alot of money) we want all our kids to have one special present. We're out of ideas

My daughter is 2.5yrs old and has a rare condition that impacts all areas of development. We see PT/OT/Speech regularly.

Cognitively, she doesn't pretend play, is slow to engage with new toys, is limited in how she engages with toys, doesn't know colours, animals etc (she also can't talk). She knows a few commands and people's names.

We have plans for PT and SLP. But I am struggling with OT. OT has been focused on sensory stuff only. She isn't officially diagnosed with autism yet but highly likely, though she doesn't have disruptive behavior.

Her disorder suggests she is guaranteed moderate to severe intellectual disability. I am struggling to understand how you support ID in toddler years and how we get the building blocks to try and maximize her potential. It's not like PT where we start with crawling because it builds reciprocal motion, for example.

So I am wondering, other ID parents of littles, what strategies are you being advised to pursue for cognitive growth? What should I be asking my OT? We see the neurologist in Dec.... should I be asking them anything?

If I smoke thc n live in cali Can I still take care of my special needs sibling obv not gonna do it I front of it will they trip I’m 19?

So my son has autism and really likes trains. We'd like to see him do something a little bit more useful with his down time. With Moblo he only builds trains, with Lego he only builds trains, with Minecraft he only builds trains stations and train networks, with Roblox he only plays train simulations, YouTube is all train vlogs. He's 11 and we'd just like to see him try to do something else. I know he like Transformers and said he'd enjoy transformer toys for Christmas, but idk how long he'll play with transformers. I've got him some Techdecs for Christmas as he asked for these. But most of the time it comes back to trains. He also like building circuit boards but these are used to power trains.

Husband thinks he should play World of Warcraft. IDK if anyone plays anymore and it's quite addictive. I was thinking the he could get into Warhammer as that would get him off screens and there is a big community of players. Son doesn't like this idea. How can we get him interested in something else? Something more social or productive.

He like music, electronics and speakers too. He doesn't like playing musical instruments though he like the speakers. I thought he'd like being a DJ but it turned out he just like speakers and taking them apart to see how they work. He said recently that he wants to learn the electric guitar but my suspicion is that he just want the amp and will likely disassemble this.

Any ideas?

Sorry for the vent but I need to get this out. I write this as I sit beside the hospital bed of my 23 yr old blind,nonverbal, low functioning,down syndrome son. He's napping.

I think it's time to "give up". He's here with a bowl obstruction and illeitis. He's been a fighter all his life. He's been through so much and we've had some good runs through out his 23yrs.

I think it's time we cut back on treatments and start planning for the QOL of the end. Sure we could put him through another half dozens of procedures to maybe get another couple of years of life, but at what costs? If we do he will most likely lose his ability to eat, something he enjoys immensely, and will have a colostomy back, something we probably won't tolerate well.

We've decided no more surgeries, no more procedures. If it can't be controlled with medication then we let it run it's course.

We have been talking about this moment for 7 years , when he had to be life flighted to Vanderbilt. We knew it was coming, and He may have a few more years left in him, but that will be for his body to decide. Not us forcing it.

I can say we've done everything we can reasonable do, and he has led a long,and happy life. I'm proud of the life we have provided him. If it ends today I would have no regrets, if he continues for another 20 yrs , i'd feel the same.

I just can't put him through what he went through between 2017 and 2019 again, and it looks like we are headed that way.

We will still do what we can, but it's time to draw a line in the sand and say we will not put him through that again.

It's time to "give up"

We have 24-year old twins. Our son has significant special needs and will never live or support himself independently. We are in the process of creating a more appropriate will to provide for both of our kids. All of our property and $$ will be in trust and a special needs trust will be set up for our son. Our attorney suggested 50% of our assets go to our son's trust and the other half to our daughter's. Honestly, that seems like a lot to put in our son's trust. He also has a disability waiver and SSI. Has anyone had a similar situation? If so, how did you divide the assets? We live in Virginia. Thank you!

So my child is 4 almost 5 years old. He has an iep and in special pre k. He keeps tackling and picking up other kids. We are in the Vanderbilt waitlist. He got tested once for autism but isn’t. But has characteristics. However from what I’m seeing (I’m no doctor just a stressed and mentally drained mom) he seems to have adhd. He is impulsive,can’t focus for more than a couple minutes if he is a big open space or around other kids. He doesn’t understand danger in climbing and can’t stay still. I’m just at a loss. I want my baby to be able to go to kindergarten next year. He isn’t even potty trained but trying to. He loses interest really quickly. Idk what to do I’m tearing up even typing this. I’ve started him on vitamins like the olly chillax and also omega 3. If anyone has started your little ones on it, let me know. He takes elderberry and multi regularly. I just need help I’m doing everything I can the occupational twice a week along with speech once a week. I’m doing all the testing for him. I just am tired. The waitlist for Vanderbuilt is 6-12 months also started potty trained three couple weeks but today I decided to ditch the pull ups . He peed once in the toilet and kinda on me . He keeps not wanting to go to the bathroom . He holds his pee for an hour to hour and half. He is in speech therapy but is started to say full sentences but won’t tell me he has to go. I know he can push bc he pees perfectly in the morning. I just am lost and worried. I wanna cry at the thought of him not being ready for kindergarten. He is developmentally delayed . I just don’t know what to do like am I going in the right direction? He will also drop him self dead weight and hold on to stuff in order to not go. We are using bubblies to blow on the toilet I may take his iPad there? Idk I need help

I am looking for some advice from parents with school age kiddos. My daughter has right sided hemiplegic CP as a result of a rare neurological malformation. She is nonverbal-she uses a communication device- but is a happy, healthy, well adjusted kid who loves school.

She started middle school last year. An aide in her class took a keen interest in her early on and they became close. I have never met this aide, even though I've obviously been in the classroom and know the teacher. Somehow this aide got my number and began texting. It was small things at first but slowly the texts became more intrusive, culminating in asking multiple times for one on one time with my daughter outside of an educational setting (lunch, movies, the zoo, etc ). This has made me incredibly uncomfortable for a number of reasons and the requests have always been declined. My gut told me this was not a normal relationship but I ignored it for the sake of my daughter, who seemed unbothered and enjoyed this aide's company at school.

At the start of the current school year, the aide reached out to me, this time to let me know that she was not returning to my daughter's school, so I thought it was over and we would move on. However, last month this aide transferred back into the school and my daughters classroom and resumed texting. At the same time, my daughter's attitude and treatment of me has deteriorated to the point of having things thrown at me and being flipped off. She has NEVER behaved like this before.

Her and dad and I sat down with her and tried to get to the bottom of her poor behavior and treatment of me and come to find out, this aide has apparently been making off handed comments about me to my daughter, which in turn has emboldened my daughter to treat me poorly. I am livid and don't know what to do. I've spoken to the teacher and I have a call into school admin, but what else would you suggest? Has anyone experienced something similar with their kids? What did you do and how did it end? I want this woman well away from my kid; I'm trying to figure out how to make that happen. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm struggling g to come up with gifts for 9f. She has significant brain damage and therefore doesn't really utilize oys or actively play for any real period of time with myself or her sisters but rather she just simply dangles things. She likes things such as small key chains that she can dangle and trial using the pincher hold. But only certain ones of course. We've bought her barbies, a drum set, and she's been given a small ukulele that she only occasionally plays with. Oys with lights and sou is seem to overstimulate her so they either get rejected or she starts crying and plugs her ears. I've gotten her various toys that I've seen her interact with in therapy but it's no use at home. She already has ABC mouse and another similar game that you can interact with by something you set up on the kindle but she has yet to grasp the concept and honestly it needs a significant amount of room to function properly. Aside from clothes and barrettes I'm at a loss. Wwyd?

My brother has medically complex needs, and I would like insight into palliative care and what that specifically looks like from someone who’s been through it.

I have upcoming meetings with his medical team, but I do not want to walk into blindly. Everything I see online speaks of it in a general sense using phrases like “comfort care,” “support,” and “extra resources.” But what does that all mean?

If my brother is sick with an aggressive bacterial infection while on palliative care, do they treat the infection? Do they give him pain meds? Will they knock him out and let the bacteria destroy his body?

I know palliative care may look different for everyone but I just can’t find details or anything specific online. Will you please share your stories?

We have a three year old with a rare genetic disorder. Started to receive government funding about a year ago- we live in Minnesota & the benefits we receive are really good & have helped ease the burden.

Haven’t had enough experience to know if what happens at the national level affects paid parent, medical assistance, et al?

I am at my rope’s end. My 13 yo DS goes to an out of district school that is supposed to be able to address his needs. He has ADHD, dyslexia and severe anxiety. Yet, they call me daily about his refusal to do work in school. I was so hopeful that this school would be where he would flourish. It was a long, hard road to get him to a place like this.

The phone calls are constant and prevent me from having a life. They call while I am at work, in the shower, trying to exercise, at the supermarket. I am not with him at school. They need to find strategies. He sees a therapist and he has had OT, PT, vision therapy. He’s on meds. These calls from the school are so anxiety provoking for me. I am really not sure how to handle this without losing it. I need some strategies for myself.

So my neighbours kids are lovely and we always get them birthday/Christmas gifts one of her children is a 7 year old boy, he has autism and some other intellectual disabilities tgst require you to explain things very clearly and concisely to him, he is also very hyper active cannot sit still, prone to outbursts etc this is just some information to help understand him better. He loves cars, so for the other kids part of their gift was some colours, activity and colouring book. But it is not a good gift for him he has vision issues. His vision is obscured, he can only see clear ish if he's very close and at the right angle. I'm having a hard time coming up with gifts for him any suggestions welcome please! So far I have a large print car t shirt for him, I would love any ideas thanks so much! I would also in particular like a good alternative to the colouring books as I usually give the kids similar gifts but tailored to them eg princess colouring book for the girl, animal one for the animal lover etc

I have a confession to make and I need help. For context: I (22,f) am a student of pedagogics and have had some struggles in my childhood, which is why I am currently in therapy. In February I started volunteering (but I get 11€ as a kind of compensation for expenses) at an Organisation that specializes on families with extra need for help, most of the time because their children have disabilities. Originally I was told that I should work with the son, he’s 14 and has Down syndrome. He’s funny, kind, a bit moody sometimes but not very out of the originate for a pre pubescent boy. I myself have younger brothers so I’m used to it. I drive him to football practice regularly, which is work I enjoy doing a lot because while he is doing practice I can catch up on my uni reading and the car drives are usually quite fun. For a few months now the mother asked me to also spend some time with the younger daughter, I think she’s 11 and she has a birth defect which has no clear diagnosis. Because I like the parents, the mom is very friendly and seems like a very good hearted person, I tried to do stuff with both kids. Now I’m getting to a point where I start to recognize my boundaries in working with the daughter. There isn’t a lot I can do with her, she loses interest quickly, she starts to kick and gets aggravated easily, I feel overwhelmed and tbh under qualified to work with her. I start to recognize myself getting angry with her a few times now, which is stupid i know. She’s just a child and she’s not at fault for being disabled, I know that rationally. But I don’t think I can handle her, I feel like both kids don’t really respect or like me, I’m not good at being dominant and I don’t know how to get their respect. Very often when I go home after working with them I think to myself „I’m really not sure if I can/want kids“. But I have people pleasing tendencies and I don’t want to let the family down, I know help is really needed and they probably won’t find a new help fast. Last time, before me, they waited a year. But the nanny they had before always sound so great in their stories, she sort of knew how to handle them well and she did sleepovers with them. I don’t want to do that. I have very low capacity for the daughter especially, I can barely handle two hours with her before I notice myself getting irritated. Usually I only work to bring the boy to football practice and the work with the girl is extra, I was thinking of telling the mom I only can work on Fridays because I also have a second job plus uni work plus social life. What should I do? Should I quit all together? I need the money tho. I hoped I could grow with the challenge but I feel like I can’t. Or do you have tips for me how to handle the daughter better? Sometimes I go there with a specific project or a plan what to do with them and that sometimes works but after school they are often cranky and don’t participate very long. I don’t want them to just watch iPad stuff, then I wouldn’t do my job very well. Thanks for any help

TL;DR: should I quit working with a girl with disability because I feel underqualified or should I rise up to the challenge? Do you have specific tips on how to do that?

Boy Town Press books are being heavily advertised on my FB feed. Anyone have any experience with them? Are they any good? I feel like I should’ve done these when my son was younger. The library seems to have some. A whole bundle of them seems pretty pricey.

My son has been under conservatorship for ID since he was 18. He is not wanting to go for the usual visits to his other parent, we have been divorced since my son was 6.

What is the potential backlash/legal ramifications if I stop forcing my son to go?

Yes I have an attorney and they don't know. They're asking around, so am I.

Hello, parents of r/SpecialNeedsChildren!

My cousin is a 38YO single mom to two lovely boys, one 6 and one 3. The eldest has cerebral palsy. Very recently she and her husband separated and divorced. I haven't seen her in some time but we will be spending Christmas together (yay!) and I would like to gift her a year of home cleaning services as part of her holiday presents.

I'd like to know from the parents in this community what things I should be mindful of when seeking out a service provider that specifically pertain to the needs of her eldest. Obviously I will make sure they are licensed, bonded etc. I really want this to be a surprise for her so I am reluctant to ask (but I will ask her mom/my aunt for closer inside info).

I'd be most grateful for any advice. I don't have kids of my own and certainly have no idea what additional needs there may be regarding keeping a home clean, safe and tidy for young special needs occupants. I want to alleviate some strain on my cousin and help make their home a zen space after a hard last year.

Blessings to you all!