Can anyone help me understand this?

I see and hear people’s critique of systemic ways of thinking and behaving — either on the subject of race, gender, sexuality, colonialism etc.

I hear this critique, and naturally I think “Oh, do I do any of these things?” I use this critique as a lens to examine my own actions, words, thoughts and subconscious biases. And that examination is ongoing.

But when I talk with others about this process of self reflection and internal critique, I’m often accused of ‘making it about me’ or ‘centring myself’. And also I’ve seen a few other people also be accused of this. So it must be something a lot of people are getting wrong.

I’m kind of confused. Of course my internal critique of my own mind and subconscious biases will be about me? I’m trying to examine what role I personally play within an oppressive society, because I am the only person whose consciousness I experience and can have any control over.

There’s clearly something I’ve failed to understand through my ignorance. Can anyone help explain this?

I lost my entire community and all of my friends from saying we shouldn't be supporting a problematic creator, the situation was kind of complicated (the channel was run by 2 brothers and one of them was outed as an abuser, I got angry snd made posts at the community that we need to hit them in the wallet and stop supporting them if we want to make a change and nobody agreed with me and everyone abandoned me.)

I turned into an even worse abuser than the person I was trying to call out since I verbally attacked people, called them complicit in abuse, told them they were funding abuse, and even stalked the people I was fighting to see what they were saying about me.

Did I do the right thing? I thought this was what I was supposed to do but every single time I try to speak out about what I think is right, people call me a militant puriteen and leave me. I got blocked by people snd seen as weird for speaking about white privilege too.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like I have no morals anymore because I've just given up. Is it selfish of me that I'd rather have friends than be just? Am I evil now? How do I deal with being all alone?

hi. i really want to help with social justice. i try to do my bit in interacting and sharing social media posts but as someone with ocd, my algorithm is suggesting purley sj content. dont get me wrong i dont want to be selfish or turn a blind eye, but i am extremely overwhelmed with it all. i would like yo see funny and light hearted content also. i dont know what to do? any advice?

I always see the sentiment in social justice that victims should always be listened to, always take top priority over abusers, and their word should be the word that matters. So if a victim has said that their abuser is unforgivable, is the abuser forgiving themselves wrong?

This is more of an r/socialskills (maybe anti -r/socialskills) question. But let's just say that as of the incidents of late, I have realised that silent support on social media and joining protests is just performative, and unless I am willing to call out people on their remarks in public, I am not making a change.

SO, the question is how do I get out of my inhibitions and call out men who might make a misogynistic joke (instead of just silently not laughing along), people who make comments on immigrants or PoCs or the LGBTQ community in public. How do I not be the guy who silently nods along and actually makes the situation uncomfortable for them, be someone who "kills the mood" so to say.

In other words how do I get out of this "niceness-anxiety" and say what needs to be said and not be afraid of my loss of social standing in a group? How do lose this primal fear of abandonment?

I was browsing a leftist community elsewhere where there was a discussion on noted feminist writer bell hooks. Someone came in specifically to remind everyone that she (bell hooks) had made it clear that her name was in all lowercase and that everyone participating in the discussion needed to honor that, which the participants apparently complied with. At the same time, I know that there are trans people fighting every day for the right to be known by their own names, even when these names or even their genders are not recognized under local law. Many people change their names as a result of a religious conversion, to reclaim stolen cultural heritage, or to disassociate themselves from abusive family, and these name changes are generally recognized by all and it is considered offensive to question them. One does not have to look very far, however, to find people asserting name changes that are clearly not for any honorable purpose or may even be being made in order to disrupt, troll, or just play around. This is amplified 100 times in online communities. The right to have your name respected seems everywhere nowadays, such as in this article.

My question is, is the right to choose your own name unlimited under social justice, or are there cases where we would refuse to recognize a person's stated name, instead referring to the person by their legal name and/or some substitute name agreed-upon by the community? If the right to choose your name is limited, is there a guide to understanding when someone's stated name should or should not be honored?

As for a hierarchy of increasingly problematic (or potentially problematic) name changes, I could propose the following:

• A person chooses a name that is clearly vain or frivolous, such as "HotChick SparkleGirL XVIIIVXXV", "Planetkiller Zarkon9 of Regulus IIX" or "Bob Bob Bob AwesomeBob Bob bOb bOb Smith".
• A person chooses a name designed to be difficult to write, spell, pronounce, or digitize, such as "ññ Vbbbtt eeeeeeeeeeee aasfasfoasdfion" ,"4%3p45$##b Bbbbobbbb &53D!4", "🐋", or the infamous example provided in Randall Munroe's comic.
• A person chooses a name that contains racist, ableist, or other offensive statements, such as "[F-word] All [Racist Term]".

One way I could imagine justifying restricting the right to choose your own name is that a name that is chosen in bad faith, to troll and/or to disrupt a community, or that is just plain offensive is not the person's true name and thus need not be recognized, or would you allow an alt-right person who had apparently internalized a racist statement as their name to be recognized by that name or even insist that you refer to and address the person by that name?

I've been looking at different types of justice. I know the victim should always come first so what should happen if the victim does not want the perpetrator to ever recover? Should the perpetrator just be locked away? What should happen?

I get irritated as hell when I see that in a businesses about us or worse an email signature. If you care that much give them the land back.

Why is this a thing?

Hi! I am interested in learning more about how social justice and advocacy happen online and wanted to know if y'all know any personalities or influencers (loose term) who dedicate time to social and/or political commentary, analysis, or opinions. More specifically, I'm interested in people on Tiktok, Twitter, Instagram, and Twitch who talk about hot button issues like abortion, the upcoming US election, Israel/Palestine, etc (though it does not have to be their sole content). But overall, I just want to know who y'all like to watch and what kinds political content you see on your feeds.

Hi, not sure if this is the right subreddit for this. I'm a bit burnt out on people pleasing.

My therapist thinks it's a bit concerning that I think anything between I deserve (or people would judge me as deserving) to go to hell or be beaten up or being lined up against the wall and shot in the revolution when I do something 'selfish'. Regardless saying No, "this makes me uncomfortable" and similar stuff causes panic attacks and guilt and I want to rationalise the social and moral problematics of my saying No. It it does not give someone else what they want or need as soon as possible, it's a failure to fulfil my duty to humanity and little different to harming them.

I've been reading about restorative justice. All of the guides say the victim and offender have to talk. So what should happen in cases where the victim has stated that the offender is unforgivable, they never want to speak to them again, and they don't deserve help?

I know victims are always suppposed to be the priority, so if the victim does not want the offender to be helped, is it unethical for the offender to seek help anyway? Is it just game over?

Honestly one doesn't need studies to know that rapists are universally the second most hated class of criminals there is before murserers since in many cases murder can be justified but rape can in no hypothetical be justified . And many would argue that rehabilitation is impossible for them because most either want lifelong or death penalty for them. So when they are released from prison , they are more than likely to be harrased and assaulted and even killed (both in and out of prison).Many of the studies with these conclusions often recommend extra protection for them.

but I'm reluctant with this idea because we are basically paying to fix their mess. It's not like affirmative action for marginalised sections of society where the reason for their marginalization is something inherent to them. Sexual assaulters essentially chose their fate in every sense of the word. Unlike something like race , religion , sex or language.

It's clear that colonialism in Africa is broadly viewed by historians as an exploitative and racist system, despite any purported benefits. Yet, justifications for colonialism often seem to be more socially accepted than other expressions of racism. Why is there a discrepancy in how society reacts to these justifications? What factors contribute to the relative acceptance of views that try to rationalize or downplay the negative impacts of colonialism?

I'm a 26 year-old white man in Canada. My parents both arrived from Europe as kids when their parents moved here for jobs. I understand that this makes me a settler-colonist and I absolutely hate this about myself. Every day I have obsessive thoughts about my disgusting, illegitimate, and harmful existence as a settler-colonist.

I know that people of purely European should stay in Europe, but I had nothing to do with the location of my birth, and the fact that I was born on indigenous lands I have no right to is on my mind constantly.

I have OCD and this stuff is getting to be really debilitating. Is it okay for a white settler-colonist like me to work on their self-esteem and mental health when it's literally disgusting that I live here? I promise I had nothing to do with being born here but I know that means I'm not innocent, and I do plan on moving to Europe someday.

Or are pro-Israel people just saying “pro-Palestine is code word for antisemitic”, similar to how white supremacists screech “Anti-racism is code word for anti-white”.

https://x.com/WeThePeopleSA/status/1809194078929559695

They used AI to 'translate' the Bill of Rights and somehow the AI they used didn't tell them that it's wrong.

Society often tells us, we need to be motivated at work, love our job, be thankful for our job. But what if the truth is, that many people will never love any kind of work? Is it alright to fire those people from everywhere for not shoving a motivated face? Isn‘t that literally a mental rape? We created a world where you can‘t exist without money and is probably coming from a job. But obeying the system doesn‘t have to mean loving it. You don‘t have to love the 35mph zone in order to stick to the speed limit. It‘s even fine if you hate it, as long as you obey it, you can‘t be punished. But that doesn‘t apply to work in society. It can really put a pressure on people who are forced to pretend like they love what they do or remain jobless. Is that treatment justifieable?

Hey everyone,

Last fall, I moved from San Diego to New Orleans, and the experience has been eye-opening. Seeing the racism here firsthand has made me realize just how deep these issues run. It's completely changed my perspective and turned me into a big-time supporter of BLM and reparations.

I'm committed to becoming a better ally and supporter of the Black community, and I'm eager to learn more about how I can help. If you have any advice or resources, please share them. Let's work together to make a difference.

Feel free to DM me on here or Tracy_Sparkles on discord if you want to connect or chat more about this. I'm eager to learn!

Thanks!

Amy "T for Tracy"

I‘m so happy I found this page. I never thought, I will ever experience true discussions. All the time just the nonsense of the news and basic social media. All the ignorance. I literally did a therapy with chat gpt what conversations i miss in my life and it helped me to find this reddit page. Glad to be here for (finally) real discussions 😊

For context, I am an 18 yearold white man who grew up in a fairly "white trash" Catholic background- Think poverty, abuse, drug use, etc, in a town that is (literally) 99% white.

Recently, I've began working at a summer camp where a majority of the campers and staff are people of color. I am one of maybe three staff who are white out of about fifty staff on site. Most campers are hispanic or black. In the group I counsel, there is one white girl, and 7 children of color, of which three speak Spanish.

I've always used some elements of AAVE which have slipped into the way that poor-white people talk- Like conjugations and word blends in spoken English (Appologies, lowkey making up words as I don't know linguistics but these phrases describe what I mean), and while spending 40 hours a week at camp for the past few weeks, have found myself using slightly more AAVE-derived phrasing/words in talking with my campers and fellow staff.

I don't have bad relationship with any of the staff or campers, and no one has ever commented on it, and I didn't realize I was doing it till I was having a conversation with a friend from my hometown who was speaking very differently than me, drawing attention to my usage of AAVE phrases.

Is this problematic? Is it racist? Should I stop?

Also if anyone has any insight on how to better support my campers of color then I am receptive to any advice :) I am trying my best to be culturally sensitive and critically reflect on any biases which I might have from growing up in a town with lots of racism, but I know very well that I'm not perfect and am always looking to improve.

It's no exaggeration that short men and physically unattractive people are treated as subhuman by society. Believe it or not, we are statistically less likely to get hired. People don't want to date us, which is fine, but they also say horrendous stuff about us on social media such as wanting short men dead or simply blocking us (you'll see it on twitter often).

Just think about grade school. Big kids often beat up small kids, and kids considered ugly were bullied as well.

The left is versed in fighting bigotry, but these two bigotries are typically left in the shadows. Kinda like transphobia only 8-15 years ago. Back then, transphobia likely wasn't on the radar of the left. Heck, the left in 2010 likely agreed with the modern right in that there are only 2 genders.

Hopefully, lookism and heightism, like transphobia, eventually get on the radar of bigotries to fight.

I'm white and I try to be a good ally to the PoC but I know I will inevitably slip up and although I try to avoid it. I know I will need to respond and apologize. I do wonder how I should do this though in two different potential cases. If I realize in the moment or after the fact what should I do. I ask this because as a white person who hasn't experienced being PoC I don't know what would seem least bad to someone of that experience. Some questions I have more specifically. Should I only apologize if the person or someone else points that what I said was racist? Is it awkward/bad to bring attention to something they might not have even noticed? If it had taken me a while to realize and no one pointed it out how long is too long to apologize? If there is other specifics that I should do when apologizing please tell me and thanks for the help. I'm just trying to be a better person. If there are also ways that I can try to avoid micro-agression. Please share

Edit: Thanks for the responses everyone it's good to know that a short apology after the fact seems preffered. Also that if you notice later it's still good to apologize. I appreaciate it everyone.

I'm deeply passionate about social justice issues, largely because I've seen how it affects me and people like me (I'm half Black and half South Asian). I'm still fairly new to understanding social justice from a more academic and theoretical perspective, but I've been doing a lot of reading and have jumped head first into the advocacy space since 2021. My partner on the other hand (he's Asian) has very minimal interest in or passion for social justice. He's only open to differences of opinion that don't disrupt the status quo in any way. For example, he was happy to learn that pro-Palestine employees at Google were fired and thought it was justified for their "nonsense" in disrupting the flow of business at a private company (he's a shareholder). He's a great partner in every other respect, but when it comes to social justice, he's someone who I'd consider to be part of the problem and I feel like I'm sleeping with the fucking devil after he voices his views. The only thing that holds me back from losing my shit at him some days is that my believes are rooted in love. And yes, I know that love is justified in being expressed as righteous anger, but the venom of my words would likely be strong enough to lead to a breakup. I just don't have the patience to explain it softly. Does anyone else experience navigating these conversations with loved ones?

Can anyone help me flesh out this idea or point me towards literature or research on it? I’ve geared it towards black Americans, but it can certainly apply to many other people.

I’ve been contemplating how people (especially kids) learn how to be prejudiced against people from certain ethnic backgrounds who share physical characteristics.

Through social media, news, friends, and family people develop beliefs that certain ethnicities are, for example, dumber, prone to violence, aggressive, bad drivers, prone to drug use, prone to crime, etc.

If, for example, research data shows that people born into families and communities with lower incomes, poor healthcare, poor nutrition, lower-quality schools, etc tend to end up suffering from higher rates of mental health issues, drug addiction, and incarceration. Making assumptions of outcomes based on socio-economic background, then, is supported by data (at least on average, without considering each individual which we should always strive to do).

Noticing that people with dark skin who have ancestors who came from Africa, are more often born into families and communities with lower wealth, healthcare, nutrition, schools etc. So there is a correlation between ethnic background and being born into a disadvantaged community and then suffering from higher rates of drug addiction and incarceration. But a person’s skin color and ethnic background doesn’t inherently CAUSE these disadvantages. Perhaps the environment helped cause those problems, but not the skin color. Plenty of people with white skin born into similar environments suffer from similar outcomes.

This, I’m thinking, is where things go so wrong. Rather than seeing black Americans struggling generation after generation to overcome the barriers placed in their way during slavery, Jim Crow, KKK (and now MAGA!), and trying to help break through those barriers … people tend to want to believe that skin color somehow causes drug addiction and crime, so it’s easier to blame black people for being inherently bad (think the disproven “science” of eugenics). And today’s media is more than happy to reinforce these bad links.

Then when challenged about their racist beliefs, people use correlation data to defend their beliefs, rather than using that data to find real solutions.

Does this make sense? What have I missed? How do we break through this repeating cycle?

In 2020, I became passionately involved in the BLM movement, recognizing the racism faced by BIPOC individuals. As a Cuban cis queer woman who is white-passing and straight-passing, this was a profound awakening for me. I immersed myself in activism and read "Me and White Supremacy," attended protests in which significantly shifted my perspective.

During this time, I chose to get a "Black Lives Matter" tattoo on my right arm near my tricep. My intention was to express my passion for the movement and ignite meaningful conversations. I never saw my motives as performative.

Several people subsequently criticized me, saying the tattoo was performative and shouldn't have been done without consulting the BIPOC community first. Their feedback was upsetting because a tattoo is permanent, and I never intended to appear as a performative. Looking back, I understand I should have sought input from bipoc community members beforehand.

Recently, I discovered through a conversation that a black friend still harbors resentment towards me because of my tattoo, which I had no idea about until now. I understand her perspective, and it's clear that I made a mistake.

For nearly a year, I've contemplated covering up or removing the tattoo. Despite my ongoing belief in the movement and anti-racism, I want to do what's best for the community I support.

I acknowledge my mistake and seek feedback on what steps to take next. Should I apologize to my black friends who may have been affected? Should I consider removing the tattoo altogether?

I’ve seen a growing trend of ppl doing this, even within my circle, they’ll constantly complain about the state of the world/country, every aspect of life housing, working, finance and foreign affairs. But they don’t want to do anything about it?

I’m not saying like blow up Parliament and riot on the streets. Simple things like learning? ppl are wilfully choosing to be ignorant and ignore things companies/governments are doing, and then wonder why the worlds gone to shit.

Things such as boycotts ppl are scoffing or turning a blind eye to. Obviously if ur not financially able to boycott brands then fair, but ppl that are financially secure are also choosing not to participate for the sake of “comfort”. It’s so worrying, cause it isn’t comfort, ppl are miserable and frustrated with governments, but aren’t trying to do anything to hold them accountable

Recently, my friends have found it to be one of the funniest things to refer to a joke about a black version of me that they drew. I’m getting really sick of the referral as it just feels incredibly racist to me. For context, this drawing is of “me” but is just black, with dreads and it makes me uncomfortable as it just seems like they want to make a black face version of me. I’m incredibly uncomfortable about this because it once again feels racist, and my belief is only strengthen by the nickname that they gave it. It’s quite literally referred to as my name but by just adding “tavious” to the end of it. It feels like a racist caricature, and I don’t know how to get it through to them. Every time I try and argue for why it feels like it’s racist they just deny it or try and create roundabout it to continue the “joke.” Their biggest scapegoat is just say it’s an “alternate timeline version of me”, and continue with it. Am I really wrong for thinking it’s racist or what? At the end of the day, they’re trying to draw a black version of me, (which, to me, feels like they’re trying to put me in blackface as a joke), giving him dreads, then calling him by my name then adding “tavious”. The name along feels like it’s just a place of stereotyping black names to refer to a race swapped drawing of me. What do you guys think?

Edit; they’re all white, and I am as well (as probably assumed)

They’re just straight up saying or defending the use of the n-word now? Not even in the way we use it, just straight up calling black ppl the n-word like a slur. And their defence is “no other group of ppl have a special word” or “no one else gets triggered by one word” ignoring the obvious lies in both these statements, it’s almost like n-word has a very special and recent history, that is specifically used against one group of ppl?

Anyways, it makes no sense that right-wingers are complaining, they get “triggered” so easily. They’re getting mad at ‘the boys’ tv-show for Having a black woman in it and the simple fact pride month is a thing is sending them crazy

The worse thing about it, this isn’t just a social media thing, ppl just feel more comfortable being racist

supposedly broken rule 8 over at r/interestingasfuck

here's the comment : https://old.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/1detnka/in_1958_the_usa_dropped_a_nuke_on_3_children/l8fugfj/?context=3

I just want to know if I'm privileged or not, because my girlfriend keeps saying that I am privileged for having a good family. I think that she says this because she comes from a really not good family. Personally I don't think I'm privileged for being born into a middle class family with both parents.