The year was 2024, we were on recon in a steaming Pennsylvania delta when an overheated Elon lifted his suit to reveal the slogan ‘I’m voting for the felon’. We all had a good laugh - even though I didn’t quite understand it.

However, our momentary lapse in concentration allowed Donald to get the drop on us. I spent the next four years in a Trump presidency. Forced to subsist on a thin stew of late-night tweets, JD Vance, and four different kinds of Presidential pardon. I came close to madness trying to get respectability in the States, but they just can’t get the candidates right..