I’ve worked all year to build my credit and get a hold of my shopping addiction. I went to go test drive my dream car today and felt this huge urge to sign on the spot but things at work have been unstable and I feel layoffs are around the corner so I decided not to get it. I’m proud of myself for making a sound financial decision and will revisit once I sell my own car and add on to that for a down payment. It’s the little things 🥰

I got banned from holister because I returned a couple of things used. They cancel all my orders automatically now. I buy from them a lot and return a lot as I change my mind all the time. Will they be able to recognise me from any of my new emails and ban me again?

I wanted to get an mp3 player so I just ordered it from Amazon a few minutes ago. It wasn't expensive but I need to save money after I spent like 400-500 dollars on getting a cat, (300 was the fee the apartment management charges, and then the other was adoption fees, supplies and food and toys).

I canceled my amazon prime membership but it doesn't actually cancel until November 20th. I am going to try not to buy anything for the rest of that time. I don't know what I want to do later today so I was thinking of going to Target, Tj maxx, and maybe the mall. I keep thinking of shopping as entertainment and I gotta stop.

I also have to do my weekly grocery shopping later today. I gotta find other ways to keep me busy. I said I originally was gonna chill at home most of the weekend.

Somebody please distract me before I start adding things to my cart out of pure habit! HAHAHA

My finance took away my credit cards because I spend so much money.. I used my credit card to the point where it put us in a bind. I kept it a secret for so long but after a few months told him, but now he’s helping me pay it off and I know he’s upset with me. I hate what I did but shopping brings me so much joy, what’s something I can do to help that? i feel like I want to go shopping tomorrow but I can’t, but it’s just a URGE. why don’t I have self control ..

I'm just putting it out there that I need help. I'm giving my husband my credit card and I'm only using debit card for gas groceries etc. I feel so helpless and hopeless. Shopping brings me so much misery and yet I can't give it up. It's one of my few joys. This cycle is hell.

The last big needles spend was about 6 days ago (clothing) and it all showed up today.

I opened it, look at it, and didn't even feel the attraction to the romantic notion of however (whoever)I imagined myself being when wearing them.

I have already printed the return labels and have them ready to be picked up in the morning.

It's a small victory but it actually feels like a huge shift setting in.

Anyhow, just wanted to share a step forward and here's hoping to less stumbling.

On a hilariously ironic note: I downloaded the quitzilla app and it's bombarding me with clothing ads...🤣

It’s giving a headache just thinking about them.

I can’t check out £5k worth of fashion items. I don’t have the funds neither the space to do that. I know in the carts there are items I truly want/need and then there are items that are “fun idea” But I am too exhausted to play the game of choosing and thinking until I end up with the essential things I need would enjoy!

What do you do when you find yourself in this situation?

I don’t have the heart to close them and forget about them because I don’t enjoy my current wardrobe, i finally found my style & colors, my wardrobe is not it.

What would be your thought process on figuring out what actually matters?

I don’t want to admit how much I shop even in a space like this among people who understand. There is so much shame and guilt tied into this. I don’t want to do anything else but get a coffee and walk around with some music while looking at shops. It makes me happy and relaxed. Like I’m on a hunt for something great - on the other hand it’s also like a compulsive drug and I’m pulled towards this behavior. Usually I find something I love and I buy it. Sometimes it happens I bring the items home and I decide to return something. I promise myself that I will return it and leave the store but most times I end up exchanging it for something else or buying even more. Yesterday I returned a coat and on the way out I see an employee wearing the cutes sequin top and I fell in love and had to have it. A few hours later I see the same top in black and I haven’t stopped thinking about how I absolutely need it in black too. I know that I won’t stop thinking about it until I get it and I promise myself that it will just be this one item and after that I’m done - I truly believe this to be true but I also know deep down I will fail. What do you guys do that works? I have bipolar 2 and ADHD - it absolutely doesn’t make this any easier

Hi all!

Icebox is no longer supported by chrome :( is there either a way around this, or a similar extension that does the same thing (puts your would be purchases "on ice" and you have to think about them for 30 days before you buy them)

i feel ashamed of my shopping habits and i am terrified of being evicted. I recently got a job and i'm super happy, but i got an email by my landlard that if i don't pay before or on the 12th i will recieve an eviction note i'm scared and not okay, i been looking into rent assitance programs, but i don't know if i will have enough time

https://youtu.be/vB5KTQrUaH0?si=obb0blTXiVefVZFA

Very interesting discussion on how hyper consumerism isn't that different from hoarding - it's just *aesthetic* - and how shopping is almost like gambling

Scarcity Loop (by Michael Easter)

1. opportunity to get something of value

2. unpredictable rewards - you may get it at some point but you don't know when that will be OR you don't know exactly how valuable it is

3. quick repeatability - you can repeat the behavior immediately creating an endless loop

I did debate with myself about whether this post should be in r/hoarding or anywhere else but here.

It started the day before; with between mom needing the common space for her stuff while she did stuff to her bedroom, and me deciding to binge-listen to decluttering gurus on youtube...

I was watching Dana K White's recent-but-old Q&A about "take it there now" and kinda freaked. My pants don't belong on top of my wardrobe, yet I have nowhere else to put them. (Don't tell me to put grandma's dresser back into my room. It does dressering great, but I hate dressers for clothing.) To dial it back to reasonable, I have so much stuff that I want, but can't think of a place for ATM.

I decided to buy some totes that have a 90% chance of keeping rodents out even if I put them in rodent-territory. (Garage, certain parts of the house.) Anything that is a want instead of a need, and doesn't have a place, but has a chance of surviving local temperature extremes... goes into the totes. To skip forward, I stacked them in the store and settled on nine because they felt like they should only go chest-high, which is three.

I did some online poking, my regional hardware store had a cheap option, but in the next town over instead of the closest one. (Ordering online seems like it would have been more-expensive than just going to the store, assuming that I wouldn't grab other stuff while there.) I'm into cheap off-brand Lego-compatible brick-sets and they carry those too. I toyed with the idea of driving to the next state because it was only an extra half-hour and they had a set that I was interested in while the closer store didn't, but I went meh about that set.

The brick-set splurge wasn't bad, a little less than $20 each for two "sets" (two variants and packs of minifigs that could all be bought seperately) and I restrained myself from some other sets I might have FOMO over later. (I am not driving that far or paying that much shipping for a set from last year that didn't get stocked again, so I guess that one is just a loss.) I also told mom that if she had a toy emergency, she could take the one set. Otherwise, I told her she's allowed to hide them from me until Xmas instead of getting me something. (She likes the idea as long as I reciprocate... expressed as "we buy our own gifts" but I've gone anti-rigid on the whole thing anyway and she just wants treat-food.)

Most of the rest of the trip was a mix of stuff that I was told to get, stuff that was on my list, or stuff that I had wanted but not at the price of the time. (Extreme example, there was a Halloween count-down calendar that I reluctantly-left at $12, but I had to have the last one when it was less than $2... It's usable year-round as-is, but also art-fodder to make it less Halloween. Or I got a cardboard-envelope with a few weird-shape Spirograph-expansion for about 1/3 of the price of a proper set online.)

Okay, once I got to the local grocery-store, I went a little-bit nuts by buying seven cans of soup and a can of corn when the can-cupboard was already full... though that space was kinda crowded with a previous tomato-frenzy that put us at more than half-dozen. (I don't zombie-apocalypse prep anymore, but I have a feeling that we're due for a snowstorm bad-enough where I'd feel bad for trying to doordash groceries... usually we just assume that's going to happen.)

Also I went through the clearance-racks of Halloween-stuff and bought a mask that I didn't need and a dog-harness for $1 that may or may not fit Graycat... (morning after and while it fits, I tied that harness back to the packaging and tossed it into the donate-bin because his response was that bad even without the part the wings were on.) Also mom threw out the plastic tumblers that had served us over the summer, I was fine with that, but those Halloween-tumblers I got for disposable-price will serve until better comes along next spring. (Good shape, but ugly.)

It's been almost 2 years since I admitted I had an addiction and my spending was a problem.

I (like most people, I know!) started off so strong -- a 6-month no-buy, just minor slip ups after that period that were easy to learn from, a dedication to my budget -- but I need to admit that the last year has been a free-fall.

I have all of the explanations, of course -- being a witness in a semi-high profile court case around the death of my sibling, depression, rounds and rounds of layoffs at work, a friend breakup, supporting a family member in mental health crisis, and on and on. My coping mechanisms and discomfort tolerance have been at zero and I fully abandoned myself and let the addiction take over. No fight, no struggle, just free fall.

Completely consumed by what I would buy next, how I could get more money to get more things, obsessively thumbing through my wishlists and carts to see if something sold out or went on sale, dreaming of all the lives I could live with better stuff instead of being present in the pretty alright one I do have.

Discussing finances with a friend last week, she was taken aback at my debt (in a non-judgemental and compassionate way) and it really made me pause and reflect on how far I have fallen from the discipline and care I was so proud of only a year ago.

I met with four banks this week to discuss consolidation loans, am back in weekly therapy, dusted off my addiction workbook, booked my NADA for addiction acupuncture appointments, and am considering joining a virtual spender's anonymous meeting.

It was so hard and embarassing to have to tell the new grad who (smartly!!!) still lives with her parents that I make a salary upwards of 70k and have 35k in debt and $123 dollars in the bank. I never want to experience that shame again.

So here's to round two and building myself back to where I want, need, and (I hopefully believe soon) I deserve to be.

Looking forward to healing in relationship with all of you here.

IF you are upset about the election. if you're not, thats fine I'm not trying to tell anyone they're right or wrong just that if you want to hit them where it hurts, don't spend any money you don't need to. especially consumer goods. the economy is already shaky imo and any further disruption to it will help make things difficult for the next sitting president and the government that is about to take over. this society worships money above all else and it may seem like you're not really doing much but trust me, its the most effective thing you can do as an individual.

For context here's my timeline:

1.) Eat out of dumpsters poor until early 20s

2.) Started a tiny business and grew it rapidly because all $ spent was only on investing in business.

3.) Saved up HUGE amounts of money, still wore clothing that was falling apart.

4.) Finally bought a nice and expensive house that provided the type of security I'd never experienced.

5.) We spent a lot of money on new furniture, something I had never done.

6.) Something shifted with the furniture purchase...

7.) Suddenly I/we spend $ like it's water and while we're still financially stable(ish) I...we... can't stop and it's been 4 years now and the amount of $ I have saved is a joke compared to pre shopping addiction.

It's not even on nice things it's just junk off of Amazon (clothing) and a zillion hobbies my husband thinks will have some sort of return (never does).

I'm sure it's to do with being poor, then not being poor and all of the hard shit that comes along with that weird social experiment.

Really though it's odd to not be able to stop after years of not being able to + being afraid to spend

I guess with all of this I'm just reaching out to see if anyone else is in this unique situation and how/if you managed to stop buying crap.

I spent a lot last night and had to return and cancel my purchases. The shame is so overwhelming for me.

I realized this morning that there is truly nothing in my house I wouldn't be able to leave. Photos and music are on my phone. My kids and husband are what I need to come with me. If shopping doesn't result in having things I love longterm , what's the point in obsessively doing it?

Does anyone else find that they buy the most random crap but then stuff that should be replaced they don't bother with? I've had these bose headphones I used daily for like 6 years now and they're falling apart but just cant bring myself to spend like £300 to get them replaced yet ill casually drop 300 on clothes and shoes I don't need :( . I struggle so hard with overspending and the guilt of spending that it just makes me depressed

Pls

I want to save money and not spend it. In my head, I don't want to spend any money. I'll start the day off with these intentions and then SEVERAL times throughout the day find things I think my family needs. In my heart I am caring for my family but it's just hurting my family as we would be better off not spending the money. It's so hard. Just venting.

All this US stuff got me stressed out

I finally want to put a hard stop to my terrible spending habits and it really hit me hard when I noticed my credit card debit hitting close to $7k. I mean I can pay it off in 3-4ish months but does anyone have any ideas what ways I could make quick cash to pay it off even sooner?

I turned off all of my credit cards and locked them up in order to stop myself from using it. It’s 3am and I’m losing sleep over this. I know some ppl have it worse but I can’t believe I let myself go. I used to never exceed $1k on my credit cards

My AA friends and I laugh about how we all just traded our love for alcohol and drugs with other things. Mostly caffeine, nicotine, and sex.

But this most recent bout of sobriety I have found myself incessantly buying shoes and clothes. It started in August when I realized I had soooo much money saved up from not drinking and not paying rent (running a sober house) that I decided to treat myself to a nice brand new pair of $300 Nike SB Dunks. Now I’ve never been one for the finer things in life, but these were fucking sick. Next thing you know I am constantly scrolling the various different sites that sell these shoes to the point where I’m staying up all night! Just like my drinking, I would always end up making these poor purchase decisions late at night. Then I slowed down for a week…until I moved onto clothes.

I shall preface with the fact that every time I’ve sobered up like this - the extra chubby weight damn near falls off of my body. To put this into perspective- I am currently down 50 lbs since January while eating a pint of B&J Ice Cream every night. Quite strange that I always plateau out around 150 like this, almost as if my body reverts back to some sort of homeostasis at this level. My point is - none of my god damn clothes fit. So this was my excuse to move from shoes to clothes.

One day while on a “tolerance break” from sneaker sales comes along good ol Taylor Stitch in my Instagram feed. Next thing you know it, I’ve got a wardrobe full of NOT cheap clothing. I justify it to my guys at the sober house with “yeah yeah nothing fits no more, gotta replace it” now this WAS true for awhile and yes I did sell and donate quite a bit of older/larger worn out clothing. But here we are two months later and I’ve replaced that stuff with twice as much of the new expensive shit !!!

I just love looking at clothes now I spend an absurd amount of time not only looking at these sites to the point of no sleep and strained eyes…if I’m not able to do that I’m thinking about it or talking about it. I’ve dug myself a small little hole of debt and hopped straight in. I’ve used just about all the credit that these sick fuckin companies roped me into (Afterpay, Klarna, Affirm, PayPal, and even my bank now offers pay in 4 plans)I make ok money but I’ve always done so well with my credit even drinking everyday !! The boys at the house just think I’m loaded but realistically I’m a little screwed I think. I make good money and should be able to get this taken care of in the next two months but I don’t trust myself to quit shopping like this 😩

I C A N T S T O P

S O S

I have strict parents

So often in my cart I’ll have a bunch of random clothing and be tempted to buy something because it looks nice knowing I won’t be allowed to wear it since they can be pretty revealing

Sometimes I follow thru with buying said items, just to end up not even being able to wear it out anyway— except with a huge jacket over it which makes u unable to see it & ultimately destroys the purpose of the pieces in the first place

What are some ways I can stop myself from tryna purchase them anyway?

I’m an American and it’s election night…I’m very stressed and want to shop very badly. I won’t, but the idea seems so compelling right now. However, I am going to get up and drink some water instead.

I have been lurking for a long time and recently I have been feeling a bit less in control than usual. I think sharing my story may help me reign it in, and maybe I get some good insight from this community.

How it started: I was poor growing up in an undeveloped country, but moved to the US with my ex at the start of my 20s. I had a massive culture shock seeing the abundance, and for years I could not grasp how people made choices for what to buy when there is always so much in every category (growing up was easy, I just never bought anything). Slowly I started "assimilating" and buying more and more on every category: first groceries, cleaning supplies, toiletries... then makeup, skincare, clothes, shoes, bags, watches/jewelry, perfume.

Where my story differs from many is that my ex was wealthy, so my purchases did not really make a dent in our finances. To put it in perspective, it may have been about 500 a month (20ish years ago), for almost a decade. I was never "excessive" in the sense that I never got into 1000 dollar shoes or bags or anything like that. I was always chasing the best deals and we could afford it, but in hindsight, it was still absolutely too much.

How it stopped: When I separated from my ex I did a massive purge before moving out, about 11 years ago. I am talking I had to call a couple charities to see who could bring an entire EMPTY truck for all the stuff I was getting rid of before my move. Even with that I still kept too much, like 100 pairs of shoes, 20 watches, 20 bags, an entire file cabinet full of makeup... things like that. But seeing the amount of things I had and desperately needed gone to start "fresh" was the shock I needed. I so wished I had saved the money for all that shit instead, and I realized I had made some dumb financial choices by not looking at the future. Right then I opened a retirement account, I found the cheapest (but nice) apartment I could find, well connected so I could use public transportation.

My new passtime became saving money, almost going back to my roots and daring myself to go without for everything. I had the cheapest cellphone, my plan was $20 a month with limited minutes and texts... I bought nothing for years. I saved so diligently that I was able to travel a LOT on a pretty mediocre salary. I sold some of the nice things I had, I slowly started donating the rest. I met my now husband and he was focusing on (hands-on) renovating his house, so quickly that became our project -we saved money for materials for the house, we traveled, and we saved the rest. That was our life for years.

How it's going: After years of hard work, we sold our house, which had quadrupled in value. We downsized to a lower cost condo in a very expensive zipcode, we put the house's profit in investments. We save 45% of our after tax income. We are doing great, I even had the luxury to rethink my career plans, go to graduate school, and get a job in sustainability (putting a tidy bow on my years as a minimalist).

The problem? I am having a harder time not buying things. I notice myself lingering a little too long on makeup websites, or thinking about what other skincare can I add to my routine, whether I should buy another pair of trail running shoes... For years I had been able to just not want things, but now I think I want things again. I am getting older, is that it? I have a design background so I have always liked nice things, but I could just not have them (and admire from afar). Now I seem to want nicer things, that I can technically afford, but don't need. My "treat" account has been steadily growing for years and I can technically blow thousands in any of the whims I am having -I just don't want to have whims. Has anyone been in "remission" for so long, and then found a way to spend sporadically but thoughtfully? How?

I recently realized it's really hard for me to stop wanting new clothes. I think everything else I'm pretty good, but it's clothes! And it's not shoes. I very rarely buy shoes.

I have this loop of cleaning out my closet and being appalled by how it's filled with items I don't wear and cleaning it out and listening to podcasts about how bad clothing pollution is, then for a while I don't buy any clothing items, but then after a while I kinda forget and start clothes shopping again. When I'm stressed I go on retail therapy.

I think I also get bored with clothes I already have and use new outfit to sort of refresh my mind? and why does fashion need to change lol, there's always shiny new items and a fomo like if I don't get it now, soon it will be gone from the shelf. Plus people gift clothes pretty often so I always end up getting new clothes even if I don't buy them. I just have a weird relationship with clothes that I cannot quite shake off. I think I need to stop browsing fashion websites for fun.

What's your weak spot and why do you have tough time quitting it?

Does anyone else feel addicted to thrifting because it feels the same as gambling?

I usually go once a week, and I've been so so lucky at my favorite thrift not just once but pretty much every week, I can find multiple pieces that were just what I wanted. It gives me a crazy rush and I immediately put it in the basket. The morning of, I try and get there within the hour of opening and I get genuine anxiety if I'm nearing an hour after opening. If I wake up later, I just won't bother going at all and dealing with the people. These days, because of my relapsing, I get intense feelings of guilt near the end, and I just wanna go home.

I've thrifted an entire work wardrobe of beautiful clothes plus some personal items from this one store and I still love them! I also sell pieces that I don't end up wearing but I think are worthy. What do ya'll think about thrifting?

I have a major problem. I hang no savings at all. Mom has taken over my money which is needed. My biggest problem is eating out. I need to curb that quick.