It means little to you where you do your Xmas shopping but to me it means the world, do your Xmas shopping on my site dohnutfarms.com and support your local business while doing your normal holiday shopping! #shopsmallbussines #dohnutfarms #christmasshopping

during the black Friday sales, I spent over 3k on beauty and makeup stuff. If I saw the item somewhere else for a cheaper price or on sale, I bought it again.some of this stuff I genuinely want to keep, so I may buy several shades of a foundation so I can find the right color for myself. Or just to try various products and see if I like them. The problem is, I know I’m going to have to return this stuff, because I can’t afford to keep it all

I really am addicted to the rush of buying things, mostly to cope with all of the anxiety I’m dealing with in every day life. I will note, in my defense, this year has probably been one of my most stressful and angsty years. Dealing with child custody matters, graduating my masters program, being a single mom, etc. Shopping gives me that little burst of excitement, as does opening the package.

i do this all the time though, it just got really bad this week because of Black Friday. This is the most money I’ve probably spent in this short amount of time.

i am excited to get my stuff in the mail, but i KNOW i have to return it. Because there is no way im going to keep all of this stuff. But now the anxiety about returning the stuff is getting to me. I’m so anxious because I spent near 1k at ulta, I’m terrified they are going to ban me. I’ve shopped so much at ulta this year and returned dang near every single thing I’ve purchased, mostly because the guilt gets to me and I tell myself I don’t need it. Some times I return because I repurchase it for cheaper. Some of these items come with free gifts, so yeah, I’m terrified that they are going to bad me or blacklist me and I’m going to be stuck with this bill and with these unnecessary items. Also, im anxious about being arrested for return fraud given I return excessively and have kept most of the free gifts since they don’t ask for the back when I return. And just the amount of returns I make it general. I buy this stuff in the first place because it’s so cute and appealing especially if it comes with a free gift or is on sale. also it’s strange that I keep doing this even though I know how much anxiety it causes me. It’s like a never-ending cycle.

given this is a shopping addiction page, I know many are going to understand how I’m feeling. Honestly just needed to get this out there because I’m anxious and also embarrassed and ashamed.

im actually super glad I found this community because holy smokes I was in the dumps right now with anxiety. reading everyone else’s post make me feel like I’m not alone. Still super anxious tho ;( my heart is in my stomach cause I’m so nervous to make those returns and then be told I’m banned. or worse, walk out in handcuffs.

okay have to add a second highly embarassing note : I have multiple accounts using my family members names so that its not all on one account. idk if I think this makes my excessive purchases and returns less noticeable but regardless it’s pitiful

thirdly, literally purchased some of the same items like four times cause it kept going on sale. I have BOXES of stuff that I need to return

First off this mentality has been in my family for a while now, shopping addiction, mom, dad, my self & brother struggle with shopping addiction, it was just a circle of bad mentality, I have a spouse that found out that I previously racked up 6k in cc debt, which she helped me Paid off & then we agreed that I will pay her fully back, which we set up a payment plan, had no problem paying her back each month which I was doing for a year to show her that I'm trying my best to be responsible & she can trust me that I won't go back to my old ways, but recently this year, I relapse & racked up 8k this year in cc debt & I'm hiding it from my spouse which I feel like absolute shit because she doesn't deserve this from me, betraying her trust I don't know what to do because we are planning to buy a house next year & also having a wedding, I can't bring my self to tell her but I know I have to, if she does decide to leave me over this I'll be devastated but very understanding about, she's the love of my life & I do not want to lose her, any advice? Should I just be upfront, another thing, her grandmother gives us xmas money which could pay off the debt right away but we were planning to use that money for the house for downpayment

Edit, from my previous debt, I also surrendered my cc to her to hold & hide from me, which helps abit but because I can add the card back to my virtual wallet it didn't make a difference

My mom will go to 8 thrift stores sometimes in a day. When the store closes she just goes to another one. My mom usually spends $60 $100 at a thrift store and she has also bought new shelving to store all the jewelry that she doesn't wear. She buys so many clothes that will never fit her and just sit in her closet, there's just boxes of stuff everywhere 'and she will never use 90% of it. She has canceled doctors appointments to go shopping. When anybody tries to talk to her about it to just ignores us or she acts like it's funny, she doesn't see it as an issue. Sorry I just needed to vent I'm just very frustrated.

I didn't buy anything during the huge Puma sale, and I had really bad FOMO seeing people receive their favorite shoes. Now I'm wondering if I should have bought one. There's a 10-20% chance the sale might return on next Black Friday.cant cope with the regret.i had savings but they are for something else and I'm a full time student. I'm sorry if this post is not suitable here it's my first time here.

Idk why but I feel like during the fall/winter I spend more because I be up late at night. And while I lie in bed I feel like I'm living the last days of my life. So I buy a bunch a materialistic things. Things I try to justify buying. I feel like loneliness and losing interest in moneyless hobbies is the problem. I be thinking I'm a living rich person. In the last few months I prolly spent around 2k on two 4k cameras, fragrances, toys, Gym clothing, and been hoarding eggs. It may not seem as bad to some of you but I feel like I'm living a lifestyle I can't afford. Couldn't survive the black fridays deals I stopped purchasing yesterday and now trying to distract myself because I feel like if I keep this up i'm going to end up homeless or in debt or something terrible. I feel like 2024 was my downfall. I feel like I mindset the whole year was YOLO. I'm studying for a degree but I feel like half the time i'm not even studying anymore. I feel like I slowly gave up this year. I buy like it's my job or duty. There's this quote from this movie/book that I can kind of relate to this: “The things you own end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything.”

I have a lot to unpack but I don't want to get into everything right now but I feel like I have a shopping problem. I've known for a while but now I know i think i need help and an outlet.

I'll go through what I can only describe as binges. Buying for a party or Christmas for a project ( i sew and do crafts for fun) then won't shop or what to spend money on anything for a month or two then go through another few weeks of binges. But it's usually nothing crazy, we can usually afford it but barely. I always want to shop when husband says we are tight for this month ( usually due to unforseen bills). And doing was like that when I was a kid we'd have times of plenty and times of lean and us kids sadly knew all about it which always made me worry.

I'm getting a little better at binges but any tips for when you get the doing itch?

And also any tips on avoiding those small but frequent purchases to help save and focus on the big picture? It'll always be a little extra something on the Walmart order but it'll be a little extra something for every weekly Walmart order! And I know it adds up and I need to slim down the order every time but I always worry, what if we need it and don't have it?

As I learn to overcome my shopping addiction, I find myself feeling self-loathing. I feel ashamed of letting my shopping get out of control instead of building savings. I feel ashamed of the money I spent on frivolous stuff instead of paying my debt. As I looked at my student loan balance, I felt an overwhelming sense of despair that I would be paying off debt for the rest of my life. I feel unworthy because of the state of my finances.

As we all struggle with this addiction, do you be kind to yourself? I'm actively trying to change but I feel I'm a failure compared to others who seem to have their shit together.

Last week, I reached a huge milestone by selling about a 1/10th of my unworn clothes that I hoard for some reason. I have this strange thing where I project idealized personas onto clothes and shoes and it makes them hard to part with even if I’ve literally never worn them.

I sold a big duffel bag of them for cheap at a thrift store and the girl sorting through everything was excited and said she’d personally buy some of it. I was excited those clothes would go to people who would actually wear them.

Then without stopping myself, I’ve been spending the past few days obsessively browsing, finding new !annual sale! junk that I’ll likely never wear and bought even more stuff than I sold WTF. I probably should’ve waited until after Black Friday and cyber Monday to start getting rid of stuff to not give myself any temptation

I genuinely can’t stop myself, I think part of it is my ADHD and dislike for delayed gratification. I probably need to cut up all my credit cards and put parental controls on my my devices. But I feel like nothing is going to actually stop me, how do people actually stop?

Clothing is everywhere and I’m obsessed with it and it’s not like I’m a young adult who’s just learning to manage their money, I’m in my 30s with three overflowing closets. Maybe I could force myself to learn how to sew? Maybe some appreciation for the craft would take away some of the thrill

Okay, so for context, I have ADHD and am very, very bad at staying on top of this kind of thing. But I want to SCREAM. This is the THIRD TIME I have realized I'm still being charged monthly for the STUPID gym membership that I haven't been to since August 2022!!!

This time I didn't notice because it keeps billing to a credit card I no longer use (because they're both at or near max and I've sworn off credit entirely due to my spending problems).

I just left an angry message threatening legal action. I don't even know what that means, and I'm probably too tired to follow through, I'm just angry. I've already tried canceling the card, but too many stupid modern cards just continue to accept routine bills even if you've reported your card lost or stolen.

I feel so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I NEED to be more on top of this crap. It all just hurts because it's all tied into all my problems that got me in such a horrible financial situation in the first place.

There’s a shirt I’ve been wanting for a few weeks, I just checked the site again and it was final sale, and on sale so I bought it, there were also only 2 left. I used my debit card and not credit so I could “feel the consequences” I already paid my bills, got everyone’s Xmas gifts, and put money into my savings account. So the money I have in my checking is what I have to spend but I still wanted to be careful. I feel some shame for not sticking to my word about not buying any new clothes, but I guess I felt justified that I might not be able to get it again, and that I’m not racking up a credit card charge. I guess it’s harder than I thought to go cold turkey :/ any tips? Or should I focus more on harm reduction than completely stopping?

This honestly seems so low stakes in terms of life but I really wanted a Puffer Snoopy Baggu Medium Crescent bag and included it as a an affordable option along with a car detailing on my Christmas wish list.

Usually I’d just buy something, but I wanted my partner to get me something I really wanted but that was still affordable. At 56$ it was a good price. But today I checked on it. And it’s sold out. A lot of my shopping addiction is buying stuff because I’m afraid it’ll sell out. A lot of times stuff does sell out and the resellers price it far more than original retail price (or at least more than the cheapest sale price before selling out).

I understand in like the grand scheme of things it’s not serious. But I really wanted it and now it’s gone. In terms of things like collabs I usually never see restocks. The link says 404 not found.

What do yall do? When something you really wanted is gone? Why am I so sad? I’ve usually never not bought something I really wanted. I did once and the items sold out. On another snoopy collab. And I still think about it two years later.

I literally can't go a day without buying something i need to have a package at my door everyday it's what keeps me going atp 😭 . like i don't even have money anymore any money i get goes directly to shopping.

Black Friday went okay, but I definitely need to make some plans to reduce some of my spending. In 2025, my plans are to buy 0 of the following

1. Nail polish
2. Eye shadow pallets
3. No makeup (unless I finish the item)
4. No purses

Low buy of the following 5. Clothes of all kinds 6. Shoes 7. Hair care 8. Skin care

I would also like to reduce my food waste.

What made your no/low buys successful?

I feel like I'm so tempted to indulge in buying christmas decorations to fulfill a specific aesthetic? For context, I just got my first tree and otherwise I have a couple decorations but thats it. Any decorations I currently have are gifted. I have 3 stockings for my husband, dog and I, 4 christmas figurines, a christmas blanket and tree lights. I need someone to tell me this is normal!! I think the reason I'm super struggling with this is because I'm seeing SO many influencer pictures and cute aesthetic christmas cozy pics. And honestly, I could for sure get more decorations and it wouldn't hurt financially (although as we all know this is a slippery slope) but I'm a huge stickler on needing the decorations to feel cohesive? So I'm telling myself I shouldn't buy anything until I'm sure its not a trendy impulse and the decorations will last me for years to come. Plus christmas decorations will only be up for like a month? I'm just struggling not to go ham I guess on something that's so short lived. Does anyone else feel this way??

I’ve put our family in bad situations over and over with my spending habits. We will be doing well financially and I’ll go on a rampage racking up debt, doing pay in 4s, and spending out of the account. I’ve screwed up big time again I’ve finally come out about it to my husband and was honest with him on what I’ve done. I thought it was supposed to make me feel better to be honest with him but I still feel sick that I’ve done this to him again. How can I stop doing this for good. We’ve tried so many things to help me over the years. Budgets, pre paid debit cards you name it we’ve tried it to help me and I just can’t stop. I’ll do better for awhile and I just do it again. Why am I addicted? Why can’t I stop? What is wrong with me!

Hey everyone,

I know this is a really difficult time of year for a lot of us, myself included. I had had a concrete plan for getting out of debt. But several thousand dollars later due to some very very expensive and very necessary emergency expenses over the past few months, combined with some very expensive and absolutely not necessary expenses over the past few weeks, I'm now in a worse spot than ever.

I really appreciate the supportive community on here. Yall are the most therapeutic balance of solidarity, compassion, and tough love.

So thus begins my recorded, accountability journey with you all. I am going to post updates on my progress at least once a month on here, at the start and/or end. Maybe more often, but at least once a month. I do have some chronic conditions that require me to take (buy) a number of supplements and medications (both prescription and OTC), so I can't do a no-buy, but I will do a low-buy.

I can do this. I will do this.

Your support and accountability means a great deal, and it will help a great deal.

Here we go.

Hi I just joined this reddit forum because I need help, I realized I have a shopping addiction and I have no form of saving money anymore. When I was 13-14 I used to be scared of spending money It would terrify me to even spend a dollar, however now I drop 200 super easily. I realized that I have a fear of me never being able to purchase the item again or it being discontinued if i don’t buy it. Also, it spreads to different things for example ill go a month just buying clothes, then a month buying furniture, right now i am obsessed with perfume. So far, I have boughten 6-7 perfumes in the past months. How do i stop this and reach recovery.

Hey all! First off, sorry if this isn't the right place, I'm not sure if this is like the alcoholics support group vs the Al-Anon support groups for families where they try to keep these groups separate. If there is a group for friends and family of shopping addicts, please let me know! I couldn't find it, but I also kinda suck at navigating reddit, so help would be appreciated!

Short version: How do I help a friend who is too stressed and overwhelmed by her finances to address the causes of her issues? She has a serious addiction, but is still in the space of being completely convinced everything she buys is an absolute necessity that can't be avoided.

Longer version/vent below: I am a recovery shopping addict myself, and finally had my rock bottom this year when my dog was at the emergency vet and I realized I had no means to pay and no credit to apply for a payment plan thanks to maxed out cards. (Dog is fine, brother stepped in, but it was my moment of truth and it sucked.) Point being, this was only six months or so ago for me, I've turned a lot around since then and done a lot of work, and so I guess my friends spending is really bothering me in a new way, especially because some of my addiction was covering her bills.

She already owes me a decent chunk of money from times I've helped her out (keeping in mind that I only started tracking it in the past six months). And now she's deep into overdraft fees and is completely floundering and about to go to collections and is freaking out. I can't help her anymore even if I wanted to, but I'm also sick of bailing her out when she refuses to address her spending habits.

She doesn't want her kids to understand the poverty they are in, so she keeps spending tons of money on whatever they need for their sports and hobbies, keeps buying them the same amount and expense of presents that she buys them every year (she used to have two jobs, now doesn't and has not been applying anywhere, they live on her partners money, which isn't enough).

Anyway (sorry, this is long). I don't know how to help her. And she's in that state I used to be in where you're too stressed and tired and overwhelmed to be able to honestly address your expenses, especially when cutting many expenses requires replacing them with time and energy that you don't feel like you have. She HAS to stop buying so many presents and new things for her kids. She HAS to stop justifying it by "taking advantage of deals".

She is completely drowning, and I don't know how to pull her out in any way that isn't just going to get me pulled back in myself, especially when I've worked so hard just to get to shallower waters myself. Any advice (or commiseration) would be very welcome. I feel awful.

Okay, so I am unemployed since I ever graduated 7 years ago. It’s very very hard to find a job where I live.

I have 2 kids one 5 and one is 2.

My husband will not get me anything I ever want or wish for. He would just pay me for the internet services and give me $50 per month. I spend this money on take- aways for me and my kids when I do not feel like cooking

So I asked my parents for financial support, they started giving me $300 per month.

And I keep on buying useless stuff from different websites I just cant stop.

I cannot control my self until I am broke, Id get so depressed when I have no money and angry.

The problem is that I do not buy anything useful, I barely have good clothes I am in pajamas all the time.

My husband started getting fed up with me and I am worried I would be a bad mom.

I feel so bad when I spend just terrible feeling

Can’t get therapy it so so expensive her cant even save or go to it

I have zero discipline

When I looked at my self in the mirror I did not know my self I do not look like a woman I look like zombie

Hi. This is the first holiday season I haven't bought and gifts, wrappings, or decorations. We are not exchanging gifts this year in my family. Now that I've been out of my craziness (buying something daily), I have gotten better about not spending money all the time. I think bad feelings or boredom with the monotony of life fuel that addiction. With the economy the way it is and hyper-inflation on goods, I don't believe how most things are priced are worth it anymore. Going out to dinner is not affordable like it use to be. Fast food and getting pop is a rip off. Going to the movie with popcorn and pop is laughable. I see it more now as a waste of money. Going to Starbucks daily is a thing of the past. In fact, I purposely don't go into stores anymore; otherwise, I have to treat them like museums. I don't like this at all. I am facing the consequences of my actions. For those of you think, it won't happen to to you...you never know, it just may.

The real reality check is downsizing my massive belongings, things I thought I must have. Now, I wish I would have invested my money into a Roth IRA instead, the stock market, or savings. I have been giving some of my belongings away. It is really hard at times not to just go shopping to take me away. Now I see I created a false reality, one that I could not financially support long-term.

I know I am not alone in this. Some people are struggling to pay mortgage/ rent, car note, insurance, and utilities.

There is a loss of newness, excitement, and unknown. Now, I have to substitute this in different ways.

How is everyone else doing during the holidays? It is a mad rush(contest) to spend money.

I am realizing I can't half ass vacations. I have to get the behind the scenes extras, nice rooms, Add ons, special meals , etc. "when will we be here again" has replaced "what if it's the last one." I have justified that experiences are "good" but they aren't if I don't have the money. It is a sucky realization but at least i have had it. Anyone else relate?

I get paid on the 1st and the 15th of every month. I got paid early because of the holiday, and I’ve basically spent all of my spending money already. There are so many more things I want and I simply cannot let myself buy them!!!

I’m not going to!!!! I’ve already made so many purchases with Black Friday / Cyber Monday deals, and I do not NEED ANYTHING ELSE!!!!

Please comment if you’re struggling with the same!!

Hi there,

I posted here for the first time in September and shared my story and that I was committed to success - not shopping. I did well for that month. I didn't look at all my regular websites, or stores. October and November were not as good. I still think I did better but I definitely haven't solved my problem. Leading up to December I told myself I wouldn't shop, so I think bought a bunch of stuff justifying that I was not going to buy anything in December and that it was Black Friday weekend and the sales were worth it. Well, I did buy something yesterday, so that makes me think "well, all bets are off!" but I am trying to focus.

I had started listening to an audiobook, Addictive Thinking by Abraham J. Twerski. Of course I didn't finish it. Of course I needed to buy a physical copy. I started listening to it again today.

I want to have a healthy savings account and be able to enjoy shopping without the addiction part.

Please help. I need support because I can’t get out of bed and I’m literally crying at how much discipline I’m giving myself right now but I know it’ll be worth it.

I HAVE to stop buying stuff to make myself feel better. Just because I don’t spend money doesn’t mean I’m broke or I’m not good enough. Im so sick of this mentality that I’ve been living in.

I’m trying to live off of “well I asked for stuff for Christmas so why would I buy things right now?”

Like just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean I should feel the need to buy everything I see.

I’m just so sick of being broke because of these stupid companies.

I just need to feel like I’m not alone right now. I really want to fix this and I’m doing the work but it is SO hard

I have no clue why I am trying to find ways to work around paying my rent right now so that I can shop at Fashion Nova. I know that shelter is a need and clothes I don't need are a want, but still I consider doing it . My goal is to pay off my car in 2026 and save money to put towards a house with my partner. I am newly engaged and afraid I will ruin our life overspending .I work from home and randomly find myself browsing and don't even realize it. I feel so stuck with this addiction. I just want to think and prioritize my life like a normal person and realize that stuff is just stuff having it means nothing but probably using it once and forgetting about it cluttering my space.

For all of you that are participating in the 2024 no-buy/low-buy challenge, please use this thread to post any related updates! Share your wins, struggles, perspective shifts, insights, or tips for anyone else.

Feel free to use the questions below as a guide!

1. Rate the last two weeks on a scale of 1-10 (10 being amazing).
2. What was your no-buy/low-buy goal for the last two weeks?
3. Did you accomplish it, and if not, why not?
4. What did you learn in the last two weeks?
5. What was your biggest win in the last two weeks?
6. What was your biggest obstacle? What could you change to overcome it?
7. What needs to happen to make these next two weeks a success?
8. What do you need help with and who do you need to contact?

This thread will be automatically posted bi-weekly. For any updates in between, please use the weekly check-in or create a separate post.

Please use this thread to discuss recent wins, things you've been struggling with lately, something that you've been trying lately that's helped you, or anything you'd like to share with the community that doesn't warrant a full post.

If you have more than 200 words in your comment, you may want to consider creating a separate thread.

As always, thanks for sharing and we're here for you!

I genuinely cannot stop spending money it’s becoming such a problem. I’m using it as a stress coping mechanism and idk how to stop

Hey all. I’ve been reflecting about my spending habits and realize there’s almost a perpetual anxiety I have that I am missing out on a piece of clothing I might love so much because I’m not going thrifting everyday or checking depop constantly. I know it shouldn’t matter to me but I’m struggling with it. Anyone else feel this way?