https://boulderweekly.com/news/naropa-cancels-psychedilic-facilitator-training-course/

Boulder Weekly

Program applicants receive email citing "unforeseen circumstances"

By Tyler Hickman - Nov. 25, 2024

Applicants to Naropa University’s Psilocybin Facilitator Training (PFT) program were left feeling confused and surprised after receiving a Nov. 21 email stating that the program would not be running in January, and application fees would be refunded.

“Due to unforeseen circumstances, applications for the PFT program have been closed until further notice. The program will not be offered with a January 2025 start as originally planned,” the message from the Naropa Center for Psychedelic Studies team reads. The application period was scheduled to close Nov. 24.

The cancellation, according to Naropa President Chuck Leif, is tied to the university’s insurance provider.

“Our insurer, fairly late into the renewal process, decided that they were not comfortable with the training happening through the university,” Lief said in a phone call with Boulder Weekly. Naropa is in the process of creating a new entity outside the university that will host the course. The faculty and curriculum will remain the same, he added.

The course was scheduled to begin on Jan. 21 — just two months after cancellation emails were sent to applicants. While Leif expects the transition to take 60 days, he “didn’t want people to hear at the very last minute.”

“It’s unfortunate how abrupt it needed to be,” he said, “but the university broadly has to have insurance coverage, for obvious reasons, so we didn’t have much choice.”

“Honestly, I was just a little frustrated,” said Catherine Kurfman, who received the email three weeks after submitting her application. “I’m super bummed; I was really looking forward to getting into that program.”

The program has been removed from portions of Naropa’s website, with no information pertaining to its cancellation because “the new insurers that we’re working with didn’t want to see anything on our website that suggested Naropa was doing psychedelic training,” Leif said.

“The bottom line is, it’s the effect of a new ecosystem. This is the kind of bump in the road that we didn’t really need, but it’s not shocking.”

The university had planned to train 60 facilitators in the inaugural year of its program, according to previous reporting from Boulder Weekly.

Naropa’s is one of five natural medicine programs in Colorado accredited to train psilocybin facilitators, according to the Department of Colorado Regulatory Agencies website. Facilitator training programs were made possible when Gov. Jared Polis signed the Natural Medicine Regulation law in May 2023, following the will of the voters in passing Proposition 122.

Regulations were finalized in September, and the state will begin accepting applications for licenses on Dec. 31 of this year.

The program’s cancellation comes several months after Naropa announced the sale of its main campus at 2130 Arapahoe to an undisclosed buyer in August. The original course planned to be entirely remote, with Naropa suggesting an optional 40-hour in-person practicum to be facilitated by organizations not connected with the university.

This story was updated at 4:30 p.m. on Nov. 25 to add information obtained in an interview with Naropa University President Chuck Leif.

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/loneliness-and-social-isolation/loneliness-and-social-isolation-tips-staying-connected

How can you talk with your doctor about loneliness and social isolation?

If you are feeling isolated or lonely a lot of the time, you may want to tell your doctor or another health care professional. Talking about your health with your doctor means sharing information about how you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally. Describing your symptoms and concerns can help your doctor identify the problem. For example, let your doctor know about any major changes or stresses in your life, such as a divorce or the death of a loved one. A doctor who knows about your losses is better able to understand how you are feeling. Be open and honest with your doctor about your health habits and what’s happening in your life. It will help them to understand your medical conditions and emotional health more fully and recommend the best treatment options for you. Learn more about talking with your doctor.

How can you stay connected with friends and family?

There are things you can do to help protect yourself or a loved one from the negative effects of loneliness and social isolation. First, it’s important to take care of yourself. To help manage stress and stay as mentally and physically healthy as possible, try exercising, eating healthy, getting enough sleep (7 to 9 hours), and pursuing activities you enjoy.

Second, it's important to stay active and connect with others. People who engage in meaningful, productive activities they enjoy with others feel a sense of purpose and tend to live longer. For example, helping others through volunteering helps you feel less lonely and allows you to have a sense of mission and purpose in life, which is linked to better health. Studies show activities like these may help boost your mood and improve your well-being and cognitive function.

Here are some other ideas to help you stay connected.

• Find an activity that you enjoy, restart an old hobby, or take a class to learn something new. You might have fun and meet people with similar interests.
• Schedule time each day to stay in touch with family, friends, and neighbors in person, by email, voice call, or text. Talk with people you trust and share your feelings. Suggest an activity to help nurture and strengthen existing relationships. Sending letters or cards is another good way to keep up friendships.
• Use communication technologies such as video chat or smart speakers to help keep you engaged and connected.
• If you’re not tech-savvy, sign up for a class at your local public library or community center to help you learn how to use email or social media.Credit: Victoria Ruvkun
• Consider adopting a pet if you are able to care for one. Animals can be a source of comfort and may also lower stress and blood pressure.
• Stay physically active. Find ways to exercise with others, such as joining a walking club or working out with a friend. Adults should aim for at least 150 minutes (2 1/2 hours) of moderate-intensity activity each week.
• Introduce yourself to your neighbors.
• Find a faith-based organization where you can deepen your spirituality and engage with others in activities and events.
• Check out resources and programs at your local social service agencies, community and senior centers, and public libraries.
• Join a cause and get involved in your community.

I just heard from a friend that Shambhala has officially expelled SMR and the org is re grouping primarily as a Karma Kagyu affiliated organization. Is this true? I have to say, if this is the case, they should just close up shop because that is precisely what Shambhala was not supposed to be. Talk about full circle!

https://www.gurumag.com/ammas-empire-sex-lies-and-hugs/

Update: the video has been removed from Vimeo, but a truncated version is still available on X: https://x.com/BuddhistLeaks/status/1858171227644293436

Another update: Now available on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X6Ngb8NeE8

This video emerged recently revealing allegations of abuse by the current Dilgo Khyentse tulku, who was born in 1993 and is generally referred to as "Yangsi" ("rebirth") to distinguish him from his famous predecessor, who died in 1991.

I have no comment on the allegations themselves, and I have no insider knowledge as to their veracity. The salient points about this video, to me, are:

• Shechen Rabjam, a senior and highly respected lama of the Nyingma lineage, admits the truth of the allegations, if the translation in this video is accurate.
• More importantly, Rabjam goes a step further and suggests that "Yangsi" is not the true reincarnation of Dilgo Khyentse. To my knowledge this kind of accusation is unheard of in the Tibetan religious tradition.

One serious implication of Rabjam's accusation is an implicit criticism of the credibility of the Trulshik lama, who recognized the current Dilgo Khyentse incarnation. If Trulshik (d. 2011), a highly respected lama who was one of the previous Dilgo Khyentse's main students and spiritual heirs, could have been wrong about the identification of his teacher's rebirth, this calls into question the perceived validity of the tulku system. This system, which traditionally allows no criticism or accountability for wrongdoing, is one of the main barriers preventing abuse survivors from being heard.

The video is a little over 6 minutes in length. Here is a transcript, in case it disappears:

[Begins with a short speech by Trulshik, in which he seems to joke about whether the young Dilgo Khyentse tulku is really the incarnation of his predecessor. The speech is in Tibetan, and the English subtitles seem to be overwriting a different set of subtitles, and I cannot verify the validity of this translation. Date unknown.]

"Yangsi Rinpoche is young at the moment, right? At this moment, we should not praise him and say things like 'You are doing good. You are really great.' Then, if one step after the other, he works hard to match the activities and the way of living of the predecessor, Then, at that time, we can say he is the incarnation of Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche. (laughs)"

0:18

[Next is a clip of a teaching given, in English, by the now grown-up Dilgo Khyentse yangsi before a group of Westerners and robed Tibetans, explaining and justifying his smoking and drinking using the typical excuses of tantric practice.]

20 years later...

"the reason I engage in the smoking of the cigarette and drinking, is because I wanted to break through. And I have no fear. When I do it, I'm doing it on a pure intention. Please understand that. I'm only showing this to you so that you all think "Okay, he is so-called Rinpoche, whatever. He is taking it without fear in front of all of you. In front of the cameras and videos. I'm just proving you when you do this, if you don't have the proper intention, it's very dangerous. I did this today just to tell myself 'I break through my dualistic mind.'"

[followed by this editorial comment:]

Pure intention? break through dualistic mind? GO TO HELL! So the reason you are raping so many girls is to BREAK THROUGH DUALISTIC MIND? YOU ARE SO SELFISH!!!

1:08

[A scene which I assume to be the courtyard of Shechen Monastery in Boudhanath, Nepal. A woman walks across the courtyard, shouting, in English.]

"(UNCLEAR)... YOU RAPE THE GIRLS! (UNCLEAR)..."

[She breaks a flower pot on the steps of the monastery.]

[Editorial comment, addressed to Dilgo Khyentse:]

YOU NO FEAR? WHY YOU HIDING? COME IN FRONT OF CAMERA! COWARD!!! FAKE!!! SHAME ON YOU! YOU SHOULD GO TO JAIL!

1:34

[A speech given in Tibetan by Shechen Rabjam, grandson of the previous Dilgo Khyentse and his close student, who supervised the upbringing of the present Dilgo Khyentse tulku. The subtitles are superimposed over a still image of Rabjam, and the accuracy of the translation has not been verified.]

[Editorial comment:]

RABJAM RINPOCHE TALKING TO MONASTIC OFFICIALS ABOUT THE FAKE YANGSI EVIL ACTIONS

"So on top of this comes sexual harassment. So many people come here to our monastery. Just yesterday someone came to me! So these people start feeling devotion and then they come to our monastery, right? So when they are here, where do they go? When they are told that the Khyentse Yangsi is down there, they go there, right? And there, the lama will tell lies, right? If they happen to be young ladie, he will harass them sexually, right? With this happening, how can we dare to say that this is Dilgo Khyentse?

"Now, if an ordinary lay person, let's not even talk about monks, if someone as low as one of the gate keepers of our monastery tells lies, if he sexually harasses women, would you say he's a good person? Obviously not, right? How can we accept to give Dilgo Khyentse's name to someone who behaves even worse than any regular, ordinary layperson?" (Crying)

"You will see: sooner or later, this will come up in world news. 'Dilgo Khyentse is a liar' 'Dilgo Khyentse is a sexual harasser' 'Dilgo Khyentse commits rape' Where does that leave us? I can't bear this. I can't let my lama... my lama be destroyed.

"The previous Khyentse Rinpoche had told me, 'My root lama, Shechen Gyaltsab Rinpoche - I don't dare give his name to anyone!' That name... to me... it is the name of my root lama... I can't... (voice unclear due to crying)... destroyed. (Crying) I, my heart, just can't bear this. (Crying)

"Khyentse Rinpoche's name, Dilgo Khyentse's name is being dragged through the piss and shit in the gutters. You see it, right?"

3:30

[Cuts to a clip of the adult Yangsi speaking to a group of students, giving his (somewhat critical) views about his predecessor.]

"Sometimes people come up to me and say, 'Oh, I met you when you were young'. and say: 'Oh, you know, I met your predecessor.' I don't give a damn about that! Why are you talking about predecessor when I am alive, yeah? Give ME credit, also. He is already gone! Bye bye! you know? It's like, do you want to be stuck with the, you know, those old phones where you have to talk like that? [mimics hold old fashioned telephone receiver] You want that? Or do you want a smart-phone? Basically. I am the smart-phone version. My predecessor was this version. Which one do you want? [laughter] It's simple! you know? I'm getting so sick and tired of people coming up to me and say, 'Oh, the predecessor was so great!' Oh, again! But I can assure you he will not survive even one second if he was alive in this world. in my situation, in the circumstances that I have lived and seen. I don't think he can survive. I was able to live through that and learn a lot of (unclear). a lot of unnecessary hardship, I have to say."

4:42

[Cuts back to Shechen Rabjam's speech to monastic officials]

"So, please, think carefully about this. The responsibility of the monastery, I have already given it to you, Khenpos and Lopons. As for me, if he comes over here, if he sits on the throne, if he sits there saying he's Dilgo Khyentse, I just ...(voice unclear due to crying)... not come! You know, ...(unclear due to crying)... there's nothing much left to say.

"He goes into the homes of people. He tears families apart. He got involved with this married woman. There was this sixteen years old girl, he was sending her nude photos of him, even showing his sex!

"But, I don't care about anything else. It doesn't matter if he's angry with me. I don't care if he doesn't like me. But, him using the name of my root guru...

"Here's yet another thing he says, 'The only thing is that I changed bodies, but my mind is Dilgo Khyentse.' How does that look like anything Dilgo Khyentse would ever do? Now, how can we take a sexual haraser, a serial liar, and say he is Dilgo Khyentse? And put him on a throne? People prostrate to him, have devotion for him, and in return he deceives and abuses them.

"I heard that recently a mother and daughter came. She was broken down due to divorcing her husband. He said, 'I don't want the mother to come. Tell the daughter to come this evening.' He tried to rape the daughter! She managed to escape. She escaped to Thrangu Monastery and she was saved by the Thrangu monks. With something like this, how on earth is he setting an example to our monks? How is he setting an example at all?

"Well, that's all. I have nothing else to say. Please think about this carefully. It's not for me in any way. It's for the sake of the Dharma. It's for the sake of the lineage of the previous Khyentse. Thank you."

[Editorial comment:]

THIS EVIL FAKE YANGSI IS RUINING DILGO KHYENTSE RINPOCHE'S NAME. HE IS NOT DILGO KHYENTSE! HE IS JUST A FAKE!

MORE VIDEOS WILL COME OUT SOON

IF YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED OR RAPED BY THE FAKE YANGSI WRITE TO FAKEYANGSIABUSE@PROTONMAIL.COM

I attempted to send this as a comment to another post, but it really needs to be its own post as it strikes at the heart of what this group is supposed to be about.

The very essence of this group is to support those who have experienced harm within Shambhala. For that very reason, one is not allowed to gaslight others. Gaslighting means that you tell someone they do not feel what they do in fact feel. This is done to me repeatedly here. Every time you pretend that you are not reflexively downvoting virtually every comment of mine, no matter what it says, you are gaslighting. Because that is precisely what you are doing. I'd be very happy to give a selection of, say, 100 comments of mine, along with 100 comments from the regulars, to an impartial observer, and ask them to try and figure out where those assessments are coming from. But everyone knows this is the case.

I mean, I really could give 100 examples, and probably many more, in fact. I could start with literally the first comment that appeared below the original (attempted) comment (the post was simply a video I have found uplifting in our current very dark moment, Patti Smith and the group called Choir! Choir! Choir! singing "People Have the Power"):

"This is from 5 years ago, FYI." -- Glass_Perspective_16: this has received +7 votes. "Yes. She's still on the case though. :)" -- daiginjo3: this has received -4 votes. Is there any rhyme or reason there? One person replies to a video I posted precisely as a gesture of positivity and uplift by implying it is outdated, by raining on the parade, so to speak. +7 votes. I reply by acknowledging this, and acclaiming its continued relevance. I even add a smile emoji, because bald text is hideously prone to projection -- as we can see every single minute on social media. -4 votes. Again, I'm happy to present that example, and a hundred more, to an impartial observer, and ask them what is going on there.

It's actually gaslighting squared. Because not only have people been denying this forever, but they then continuously mock me for saying that it actually does affect my life extremely negatively. I'm sorry to have to insist on this, but it is the fullest truth.

It affects me in an additional way too, one which is just as damaging, and in a way even more so. Reflexive, continuous downvoting means that at a certain point my comments don't get posted. It's the Reddit algorithm. So then it means that I am literally silenced, and that is precisely about the most damaging thing anyone could do to me. It's also, as it happens, directly related to how I was treated within Shambhala. So I scarcely have words for how this feels. When a person is attacked, and they are not allowed to reply, this for me is straightforwardly insane-making. I feel like throwing myself through the window. I'm not planning on doing that just at the moment, but that's how it feels, and terrible accidents can occur when someone feels utterly dehumanized like that. Yes, dehumanized.

All you can do is mock this, endlessly. Mock, and psychoanalyze -- in the form of character assassination! Someone you have never even met! Thus causing even more harm. It is absolutely unbelievable. You simply cannot stop, take a deep breath, and look at what you are doing.

Allow me to counter point all of the outrageous rhetoric and commentary on Dharma Ocean for a moment.

Reggie Ray has done more for the Dharma in America than any other western teacher of any tradition to date.

My experience studying with him has been a demanding, yet fruitful endeavor. He has always been very transparent and upfront with me about what it means to be a student Tantric teachings. Many people become bitter when they enter into that relationship with hidden agendas of political machinations and they don’t get the outcome they were seeking. Many of them want to make a business out of the Dharma Ocean lineage. Many want transmission or titles so they can add credentials to their “coaching” or “consulting” businesses. When there was a concerted effort to change the lineage transmission to make it more “relevant” or “accessible” he rejected those efforts in a fully transparent manner.

Reggie’s teaching style is demanding but not abusive. He is uncompromising in his endeavor to transmit authentic tantric teachings in America. Many students become disappointed when he does not compromise those values for political or social graces or the cultural ideology of the day.

He created Dharma Ocean and fostered its development with every fiber of his being. In the end his own students tried to take it away from him after he invited them in, taught them and helped them.

It’s a sad story all around.

The story of Dharma Ocean isn’t a story about Reggie Ray. It’s a story about the incompatibility of Tantra, Western Materialism and its current of hyper individuality. Its Lao a cautionary tale bout not properly managing a quickly growing Dharma community

Okay, the godmother of punk is on the case. Never give up, not for a second.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Wz3i_BYUc

In a post from 3 years ago I discovered there was a podcast about growing up in Shambhala by Una Morrera. I was able to find and listen to a handful of the later episodes, but episodes 1 to 7 are inaccessible. They look like they're available on multiple players, but they are "unavailable" or "removed" or won't play.

What's going on?

Does anybody know where I can listen to them?

I saw an old post here stating that Mingyur Rinpoche sexually abused a person named Dolka, and her husband posted about it some years ago in Facebook. I would like to read more about it, but (unsurprisingly) there's no mention of it on Facebook or elsewhere. Sleuths here are more skilled than I am at hunting down these things. Can anybody find a link?

I was cleaning some of the bats out of my belfry the other day when I happened upon this piece of spin about the Dorje Kasung, Shambhala's paramilitary police force. Don't worry, it doesn't expose any secrets, nor does it contain any smoking guns.

It was handed out to entry-level Kasung recruits at the 1992 Seminary, and while it evidently was written during Chogyam Trungpa's era, it clearly can refer to Sakyong Mipham as well; the title "Makkyi Rapjam" was used to refer to them both. No author or copyright is given, but the voice sounds like that of David Rome, the supreme military commander of Shambhala in those days.

I wanted to bring it up here because it highlights a concept that sometimes gets downplayed here by apologists who want to minimize the more egregiously cultish aspects of Shambhala. Frequently, we hear that the obsequious guru-worship that pervades the Shambhala teachings and liturgy is meant in a metaphorical sense to refer to the "inner guru", and that the Shambhalian adept has complete responsibility and agency over their spiritual path. This short piece challenges that argument.

In this exposition, the goal of Kasungship (at least, the goal that the beginner Kasung should focus on) is how you must give up your personal agency for the greater glory of the Mukpo agenda, even if what you are being commanded to do in any given moment is illogical, pointless, or goes against your better judgement. The teaching here is to train you to lay aside your critical intelligence, so that eventually the things you see in the course of your Kasung service will not alarm you or get in the way of doing your job with efficiency and discretion.

I'd also like to draw your attention to the overall plan of the argument. It begins with an experience that is common to any spiritual path-- the inevitable feeling of "What am I doing here, anyway?"-- and that gets transformed into an opportunity to develop unquestioning faith in the Mukpo family principals: complete loyalty transcending personal ambition. This loyalty then gets transferred to the Kasung hierarchy itself, being driven home at the end by the exhortation to feel gratitude towards the lineage of gentle and fearless warriors who have gone before, thus cementing and sanctifying the legitimacy of your superior officers and their seemingly bizarre commands.

I'll reprint the article in full below, with the warning that some of this language could be triggering to anyone who has only recently disengaged from Shambhala, so proceed with caution. I have highlighted the passages that I think are most significant.

HOW TO REGARD YOUR EXPERIENCE

Being a member of Gesar Division is being in a situation of intensive practice. The Gesar Kasung enters a path whose highlights and purpose are in accord with the dharma: the point is to cut through spiritual materialism and exchange self for others.

As proper dharma practice, the practice of kasungship begins with some confusion: initially we may join in out of a mixture of the desires to be of service and to fulfill personal ambition. There is nothing particularly wrong here -- we are normal human beings with normal human habits.

While we may bring all of our baggage into Gesar Division when we join, we generally find that the combination of boredom and demand which comprise much of our duty begins to shake out our preconceptions quite efficiently. Gesar Division's mandate is a huge responsibility; being in Gesar Division fully and completely involves hard work of body, speech, and mind -- a completely dharmic situation.

Sooner or later, every Gesar Kasung will experience a loss of heart. Typically, it will come at some late hour, sitting alone at a post, while down the hallway the sounds of a party can be heard. “What am I doing here, anyway?" is the usual question. "I'm lonely, tired, hungry, bored half to death, and there's a party going on down the hall. Why am I here? Does anyone care? Does this matter?"

It does matter; moments of this sort are evidence of maturing into genuine warriorship. After the initial fascination has passed, you are left with the raw experience of your own state of mind, your own tender heart. Many people give up at this point and look for something else to do, "something new."

This is unfortunate, because loss of heart is the paint at which we can enter into complete loyalty transcending personal ambition. The challenge is this: are you willing to see things from your teacher's point of view, and become the agent of that vision?

We will attempt a suggestion: kasungship makes sense only in terms of joining your mind to that of the Makkyi Rapjam fully and completely. This is possibly an intimidating challenge, but loss of heart is proof that we cannot be complete and genuine Dorje Kasung by clinging to hopes of entertainment and fears of boredom and discomfort. That logic simply carries no weight in the warrior's life.

Loss of heart is neither an obstacle on the path of the Gesar Kasung, nor is it a reason to abandon that journey. Loss of heart is simply the mark of loss of petty mind, which is nothing less than the beginning of your own entry into the vastness of the warrior's world, the joining of your own potential with the Makkyi Rapjam's mind. Generations of warriors in the distant past have made this realization, and many, many of your fellow Gesar Kasung have done so in the course of their own involvement. It is this realization that has led to the sense of great pride and great humility which is the mark of the seasoned Gesar Kasung, and which manifests as the continuum of heartfelt loyalty into which you have entered. The chance to go further into that continuum exists for you at every moment; it is available to you now if you are willing to join in with your whole heart.

What this all means for you is that when in the wee hours you finally go off duty, you will note that you are tired, you are a bit confused, and a bit lonely. You should note also that your heart beats, your limbs move, your eyes see, your mind cranks along; you have all that you need to connect to the aspirations and attainments of the lineage of gentle and fearless warriors who have gone before, and whose generosity has brought you to be where you are.

 This story of my experience in a 3 years retreat (from May 2022 to August 2024) in USA New York at Palpung Thubten Choling (PTC) monastery, ex KTC, is intended to help people understand the situation if they wish to do the retreat at PTC in the future so they know what to expect.

  Even though it's 4-5 pages long, if you are interested in what is happening in a 3 years retreat at KTC/PTC in 2024 or wish to do attend one in the future, I assure you it will be worth reading it.

So I came in 2022 in Us for the retreat at KTC now PTC to have a 5 months pre retreat and than start in May, also was my first time in a western monastery. Most of the time as a monk when I became in 2018 with H.H. Tai Situpa Rinpoche and before as a lay man from 2015 I spent in Palpung Sherabling Monastery in India where everything is amazing, also some months in Namo Buddha at Thrangu Rinpoche when he was alive were fantastic at his monastery in Nepal.

Many great masters say when you go to a master or before choosing him as your guru, of course he has to also accept you as his disciple, you have to do some research about him, searching reading first the bad opinions about him and after you choose for yourself. This is not intended to write about a guru but about the 3 years retreat for men, how it is and also about the retreat master because is very important. Than people can have a better view and understand for themselves which retreat suits them best, because there are many retreats and in many countries.

When I applied for the retreat on the web page it was written we’ll have a cook, someone to cook in the retreat how all 3 years retreat have, I’m talking about those I know in India, Nepal, Tibet. Because how you’ll see what is happening, the truth in a 3 years retreat in the west at PTC NY is not the same as a retreat in Asia. Maybe 1 week before the start we were told by the abbot that we won’t have a chef or a cook, and we’ll have to cook for ourselves. We started with 7 men the 3 years retreat at PTC (the retreat is named Naroling), where we had to cook in rotation one man each day. Cooking takes a lot of time, for most to prepare lunch for the others was about 2 hours, this taking the time from your practice session or tun, sitting practice. And it is not only about the time spent but also you will be tired after cooking, so it affects your practice for the whole day, maybe some were resting sleeping after cooking. So a lot of time wasted instead of practising, for which the total cost was $29000.

I came in January 2022 doing the pre retreat which in my opinion and others was too much 5 months, after about 2 months from my arrival there a Japanese guy came to me after lunch, and telling me about ticks, also with an ani nun from the monastery. That was a great danger, he was bitten in his retreat that ended 2019, he was very sick barely walking. He was saying he got Lyme disease from a tick bite during retreat and almost died, people were not sure if he will survive. His condition was very bad, very weak, tired, no energy, very cold, etc. This only from a tick bite and getting Lyme. We became very good friends and I tried to show him and others a little Chinese Qigong that I know doing every day with them. His condition became better but still a long way to be like a healthy normal man. During my time in retreat he went a couple of times to my qigong master, and his health became better and better.

The monastery of PTC didn’t tell us anything when we registered about the tick situation that that area where the monastery is, the town, is the worst in the entire US with ticks, 60% of them have Lyme and many people were bitten. In the retreat before I was kicked in August 2024, all the people except the old man were bitten by ticks, including me. Me and others took Lyme disease. This was very bad, last year in 2023, for some months I was very sick, weak, sleeping because of Lyme disease. Also there I was diagnosed with acid reflux with very bad symptoms for more than a year going many times to hospital.

It should have been the duty of PTC to publish on the Internet where you would apply for the 3 years retreat, that there is a big problem with ticks with Lyme disease, people in the past were bitten, etc. Because this Lyme can destroy your entire life, or many many years how was/is for my dear Japanese friend. Also for me, I am still not cured and have Lyme, this year I was very ill in retreat again because of an allergy and Lyme, a doctor came, had blood tests and appeared I still have Lyme from 2023, also I did blood test here in my country and appeared again that I have Lyme.

If I knew only about this ticks with Lyme disease I wouldn’t have come to this retreat, but PTC didn’t say anything, that’s why I told PTC I will put on internet everything and also possible a law suit. Many others in retreat were ill for many months, taking antibiotics etc. for a long time.

The retreat started with a Vajrakilaya drubchen, there was an American guy in Retreat, that got scared because we couldn’t go outside of the retreat center, as he mentioned, and he left it after around 45 days, so during these days he insisted to go to a heart doctor, which told him he can stay in retreat but do some physical exercise. This guy insisted to go to a Gym which the retreat master lama Tsering Dakpa agreed, he was going 4 times per week to gym. I think it is the first time in the history of 3 years retreats that someone can go to gym during retreat. But than he was going also to supermarkets doing shopping, the retreat caretaker D. was driving him. He also bought a tablet with a SIM card for internet, as people told me, he wanted to do a Master during the 3 years retreat, the Retreat Master Lama Tsering didn’t do anything. But after 45 days he left because he didn’t like to be restricted.

Then after some months since the retreat started, I asked Lama Tsering (from now on I’ll name it LT) why are people talking all day from 6AM to 9:30-10PM because in the retreat rules is says only speak during lunch break if it’s very important. Because his English is very poor someone from monastery or other translators were trying to translate for him, he said that people can’t keep this rule so he can’t enforce it, but he didn’t even try to tell them 1 time about this rule. Some of the retreat members were constantly talking not only during brakes, but also during tun, people staying outside, or in the basement talking, or in the kitchen (the kitchen was exactly under my room) disturbing my practice. Again, LT didn’t do anything. When I would complain to the monastery, sometimes he would come and check and that’s it.

Very strange, LT would normally come 2-3 times per month to us at a puja, and not how I’ve seen in retreats in Nepal or India, every day to check on people. Last year I even wrote to him why he doesn’t come every day to check on people he said something that in his retreat the drupon (retreat master) would come 1-2 times per day, but here is not possible. Also, he was saying he can’t come in the rooms to see if people are practising, because US rules don’t allow. But if you want you can open the door see what’s going on. My vajra brother from Germany was doing a retreat in Poland almost at the same time with me. When I told him in my retreat the retreat Master LT would come 1-3 times per month he couldn’t believe, he said in his retreat his retreat master was coming every day, check or give a teaching, etc, and only some few times later in retreat he would come 3-4 times per week.

Lama Tsering Dakpa was behaving like the vajra master (or lopon) of the PTC monastery, going there to pujas etc, and not doing his job as a retreat master as he was sent by H.H. Tai Situpa Rinpoche. After some months from starting the retreat I told the Monastery the ones in charge Sz aka D.L.  and J. aka S.S. many times to translate for him many things, what is happening there in Naroling Retreat at PTC. LT came to us and told us with a translator that everyone should be his own retreat master here. Can you imagine that, he is appointed to be the Retreat Master of man and women retreat, but he tells us that we have to be our own Retreat Master. After I told this to PTC, when I say PTC I am referring to SZ. and to J. because they are the Manager Secretary and the Vice President also Board Members of PTC. After saying this after some months, LT came to us and told us that we are are own discipline master, changing retreat master with discipline master, because he wouldn’t put any rule in the retreat, anyone doing what they want.

Then after 2-3 months from retreat start, I told LT that a Hungarian retreat member has a laptop, the caretaker D. brought it to him, LT and monastery didn’t want to do anything. Also, the caretaker who was bringing food, started to hang with people using her phone with internet in the Retreat Gate House, also during Tuns, not in the lunch break. Before entering the retreat we had to sign a contract where it says all electronics laptops phones etc. with WIFI are strictly Prohibited, and Monastery PTC said people will be kicked if someone will use those electronics. After the contract we wrote our names on a paper, first was the retreat master Tsering Dakpa, second mine, and than the other lay people, because monastery didn’t give monk vows for them before retreat. And after the names we signed what we’ll respect the contract the rules. But for the entire time when I was in retreat LT and Monastery didn’t do anything to change the caretaker to put someone else to stop this with this internet phones etc., people going in the Gate House staying there with her, disturbing the others practice by making noise.

Some people, because I reported them about them staying in the gate house with the caretaker, made like a team against me, then started to lie about me that I do this and that, that I scream at them etc., so after 3-4 months from beginning I told everyone I won’t speak in the retreat any more, fist for some months, and after for the entire time.

Then I got very sick in the first months, I went to doctors in 2022 more than 13 times, doctors didn’t know what I have, I had big pain in the throat, coughing a lot, and after many investigations which were more than $15000, I was diagnosed with Acid Reflux, and doc gave me some medicine but didn’t work, so I went to another doctor he changed the medicine. But for more than 22 days the caretaker D. didn’t want to go to pharmacy to pick them up, she was evil, because I told about her staying in the Gate House with people during tun with phone. So my health became worst, now I started to have big stomach ackee not only pain in throat and also poop with blood. So, when I saw this, I told her she is lying to me that she went to pharmacy and we should go to hospital. When I told her she lies she started to record me with the phone. So, I was thinking she will show to the monastery so I was speaking loud and clear to the phone telling the entire story how she lied fore more than 22 days, didn’t get my medicine, she was only saying something that pharmacy want to put the name of my medicine to generic to be cheaper. Which was a lie, after I went with her to hospital, we stopped at the Pharmacy, and they told me the Insurance Company doesn’t want to pay for the new medicine, but after contacting my family doctor I was able to get the needed medicine. It took 1-2 days because I went to pharmacy to ask to check about the medicine, which the Caretaker didn’t do, and all this time my health became worse and worse, for 22 day as I said. So, I wrote all of this to the monastery including LT.

But surprise, they didn’t change the caretaker D. after harming my life willingly. What happened? Next day LT comes with a translator and with D. the caretaker telling me is not a long time 22 days if D. doesn’t bring my medicine, she has things to do, also including driving him. I tell him I have to take the medicine 2 times per day, otherwise is very bad and he says is no problem if I don’t get for more than 3 weeks. Then he insists I look good, why do I go to doctors. After I receive a letter from SZ/J. (when I say Monastery I’m meaning both of them) that LT came and he said was a good discussion, everything is fine. I wrote them what the stupid things LT was telling me, with no problem with medicine, that she doesn’t have time (she goes minimum 3-4 times to city every week but can’t stop 5 min to take med for someone very ill). Then at a teaching practice next days, LT was very angry telling me to leave (probably because everyone at the monastery found out what he told me) plus during the road to hospital/pharmacy D. gave me her phone so I wrote some messages to my parents that I’m very sick with symptoms to ask doctors in my country, also about medicine.

Last year and also in 2022 some the retreat members gang that formed against me (the Hungarian and J.K., an older American guy) were coming to my face like a bull with their head cursing me etc. I wrote to John one time that he is lying about me to the monastery, he started to shout more swear word and other verbal abuse towards me, trying to intimidate me by approaching with the head in my face, I turned my back and went to do cora, even though he is almost 70 he was running after me swearing, cursing etc. LT and Monastery didn’t say to them anything, did nothing. This with him being the bully, coming aggressive in my face with his head happened 3 times, LT the retreat master and PTC didn’t say anything to him/ them.

Again, last year L. the Hungarian, put internet on the retreat laptops, we had 2, one in the basement with a printer for files and one in the shrine for Zoom. Both were blocked from internet access, only zoom in the shrine. So, he unlocked the laptops, I started to see people in breaks when I went to kitchen they were connecting to the laptop with a cable from the Switch. I made some print screens that there is internet, Windows updating from December 2022, now was April 2023, also print screens with browse history stocks etc. Again, Monastery didn’t do anything for many months. During tun, when I was going to the toilet, I saw many times people were at the laptop, and again LT didn’t do anything. End of June he says he has to leave for India for 2 months, and he heard there is internet, people started to lie that there is no internet, they can guarantee. Again, nothing from him. After some months I’ve let the internet working on the laptop in the basement so that everyone couldn’t say there is no internet here. They wrote oohh O. is right we have internet, the cable is safe J.K. the American was saying, none can access now, even though they were connecting the cable to the laptop, again no word about this from the monastery, but after this event they sent someone to block the laptops.

 Meanwhile during this months with internet access on the laptops in the retreat, I wrote to Sz. and J. that I want to tell Tai Situpa Rinpoche about this situation, if J. can send him my letter about internet what's happening in the retreat, but she cut all communications on this subject, didn't want to reply me like always. I asked them both a couple of times, but no reply. Also I wrote to L.T., Sz., J., and the monastery's abbot lama N. to deal with the internet problem in the retreat and to apply the contract, if not, I will take legal actions against the monastery. How is this possible in a 3 years retreat. Big surprise nothing happened maybe because also J.K. was involved using the internet, a big supporter of the monastery and a deciple of lama Norlha.

 Also the hungarian bought an inflatable pool and most of the people started to stay in it, one after the other, filled with cold water for some time, like Wim Hof exercise. This in brakes or  during tuns practice. of course LT saw it but like always didn't take any measure for the 3 years retreat.

 Even though Lama Tsering knew for a long time he will leave for India he didn’t teach us the Vajrayoghini inner practice, before he left he told us to read the commentary which we would do for 4 months. Most of his practice explanations are just reading the pecia the text and say where to play the bell and dhamaru. AT the last practice before I had to leave the retreat LT explaind Chakrasamvara for 3 hours, outer inner basically reading the practice text and where to play the bell and dhamaru. Also we didn’t do even one time together the Chakaramsavara practice to have like an example to know how to do. He was saying in the past you read the commentaries that you have in English. We didn’t have the Tibetan translated commentaries but the commentary of commentaries from KTD and Nalanda which we bought. These are his explanations about practice, only where to play the instruments, that’s why I say he is not a retreat master, he doesn’t know or he can’t teach. We had 4-5 translators of teachings during this time, all of them were asking if to read the text, because he is basically reading the text in Tibetan that’s all. But we were fortunate because during the end of last retreat when someone asked about Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche’s books explanations (which they received almost at the end of their retreat), we had bought the books of KKR explanations for the practices, which I think are the best, he was such a great teacher. Much better also than the Nalanda ones, which for the 6 Yogas Vajrayoghini and Chakrasamvara we bought. So, he left to India, but in August a lama who did the 3years retreat with LT at Sherabling came from his centre in Canda to us, for 2 weeks. He knew English very well, and every day for 2 weeks morning and evening he was coming giving teachings, speaking in private to each of us, answering questions. I liked him very much, how a retreat master should be. In the day he left I thanked him for coming to us, he said he had to, here people are confused. Of course I told him LT left without teaching Dorje Pagmo, so he thought it.

Than LT comes from India, he still doesn’t want to teach the secret Vajrayoghini practice. But thanks to that lama from Canada that explained me in private some parts of the secret practise plus the book from K. Karthar Rinpoche, I could do it. I insisted again to LT to teach the secret practice, he insisted also that everything was thought.

People were still meeting with D. caretaker with her phone in the gatehouse, making barbeques outside even during tuns, sometimes drinking alcohol. Than they started directly to steal the food which the caretaker was bringing in the Gate house. Of course she should have brought the food everything only during lunch break, but she was bringing food during tuns, people going there and stealing what they want bringing to their rooms. I had a special diet because of my acid reflux. We had to cook every day in rotation and because I reported the about internet access issue, etc, the team formed against me was stealing the entire food, depositing in their rooms in big garbage bags. For more than 2 weeks the fridge was almost empty, first I thought D. the caretaker doesn’t buy food, but than I saw when the others were cooking had a lot of things to cook and eat. I wasn’t eating the others food, couldn’t eat with oil, spices, fried, many food types etc, this would give me a big stomach pain. I was paying 750 USD per moth and did not have what to eat for almost a month.

So again I wrote to the monastery, what is happening, they started to buy a lot of food so people in retreat couldn’t deposit all in their rooms, in bags and started to put also in the fridge. But no word from  Tsering Dakpa or Monastery about addressing the food stealing and no one was sanctioned for this. Eventually the problem mostly got resolved due to the fact that the food was spoiling in their rooms, they put it back in the fridge.

 Ringu Tulku Rinpoche comes, and after some days, the Hungarian leaves the retreat. During all this time, 2023 and 2024 most people stopped coming to pujas and only 1-2 attending regularly. I told LT but nothing, he came also a few times and saw. Also in the morning nobody was waking up at 4 (as required by the rules) except an American and me. Also he was most of the times the only one from the others that participated to pujas with me. People sleeping. Also only him from the others in retreat was doing chod in the night (as required). Otherwise no one. Also T.S. another american retretant was burning a lot of incense before puja making a cloud of smoke in the shrine for me not to go (smoke would give me pain in the throat from acid reflux, a lot of coughing). I told LT about this he didn’t do anything. One time he was in his room in retreat and I wrote him that again big smoke in the Shrine, he said I told them but people don’t listen. So for him if they don’t listen he can’t do anything. Also people accused one American of taking drugs, having internet, electronics in his room. What the retreat master said? Only if he is caught with drugs on him when he is out of his room he can do something. I don’t think that guy was taking drugs, but what were the teachings LT was giving to us, the meaning, you can do anything here only I can something if you are cought outside of your room, but of course for example with the internet in the basement and shrine laptop, he didn’t do anything.

 Than this year we start 6 yogas, trulkor in January. I hear will be a meeting with LT, I am thinking again people want to complain about me lying etc. I told LT I won’t come again they want to lie about food so the meeting is cancelled. After mahakala practice another meeting was put, also Sz. and a doctor J.F. from the Monastery Board came. LT came to my room telling me that I have to come to the meeting. There was a translator on the phone. I asked him why, he said that 3 people J.K., T.S. and D. the caretaker are complaining saying I was aggressive and other things. I told him these are lies, and he can see the past (he showed me he can see 2-3 times) that can look that I didn’t do this things. He laughed and said yes there is no proof, but you come to say they are lying, otherwise next time I have to leave the retreat. So I go but for my surprise the verdict was already taken, LT didn’t let me to talk, only one time I could say it’s a lie, J.K. saying I was bully with D., which even she said she didn’t say this, she said she doesn’t feel safe (of course many times I wrote about her or caught here with people in the guest house, so if I would have to break the rules I wouldn’t feel safe if someone catches me, etc.), and than the other American T.S. saying that my energy goes to others and this makes them become angry saying bad things. Of course if you don’t practice there is no internal energy building, but why am I guilty about this. LT said next time if it happens you have to leave. I couldn’t believe what I am hearing, and I told him I’ll write him a letter because I see he doesn’t let me to speak. He told me to write to the Board of PTC not to him. So next days I wrote to the board , what happened, to tell me in writing what I have done wrong, for what I am guilty, to understand and for next time not to happen, for others not to come again with these, because what was spoken at the meeting doesn’t stand a chance in a law suit, that someone complains about my energy which goes to him making him angry or J.K.that I was bully with D. when even she said she didn’t say this. After about 1 month Board of PTC answer that LT is the retreat master and he is in charge of this and not them. Than I wrote again to Board of PTC telling them that LT told me to write to them this meaning he is not in charge. Again they wrote that LT and officers of monastery are in charge with the situation. I write to Sz. to write me what I’ve done wrong, no answer. I write again than she writes that people are complaining for a long time so they had to do something. I told her is one thing if people complain, but other thing for her and LT to come to me with lies. After I was kicked from the retreat I spoke with a man staying at PTC he told me that this were politics about what happened in January with Sz and J.F. coming to tell me next time you are out. Also I didn’t receive any specific answer about what I did wrong, because there was no proof. Also J.K. the American in retreat had no family, no children, he worked in movie industry, people were saying he is reach, he was giving much money to the monastery, from 2016 after he retired he stayed at the monastery and wanted to do a 3yr retreat for him to remain after retreat at the monastery. He was an old disciple of Lama Norlha. He didn’t do Vajrayoghini, 6 yogas, etc, even LT asked him before VY, he said he won’t do, he want to do Lha Ji, shangpa practice, which LT agreed. When LT came from India he asked him if he’ll do 6 yogas , J.K. said no. LT didn’t do or say anything after.

In the end I never received an answer with what I did wrong.

Last year we received a message from the monastery that PTC has a law suit from 3 women. After I was out of retreat I checked and I could find the law suit details and document on reddit that those 3 women were sexually abused, raped by lama Norlha in the past. And that the people to whom they were complaining about lama Norlha are still in the leadership position like Sz. aka D.L., J. aka S.S., S.R. Those 3 women were telling them of the sexual abusement of lama Norlha, in the KTC Monastery and also in inside the retreat he was coming sexually abusing them, and Sz or J. were saying that is good what they do for Norlha, to continue, didn’t do anything to stop. This is very very bad.

Here is the link of the law suit also with the doc: https://www.reddit.com/r/ShambhalaBuddhism/comments/17zv1b7/kagyu_leadership_named_in_sextrafficking_lawsuit/

During retreat S. aka S.S. (a pretend nun from PTC) and one of the ex-girlfriends of lama Norlha, who is in the ladies 3 years retreat, some time ago sent laptops phones to people here (I and others before retreat gave her to keep them during retreat) some even have Wi-Fi signal from the Monastery in their rooms. Also in the contract it is written that use of laptops phone is prohibited etc, and what someone from Monastery does, she send these electronics to people in a retreat braking the contract. Monastery braking the contract with these, also the caretaker with the phone etc, and that I will sue them not having a retreat here, I pay thousands of USD and here is not a retreat that I’ll put also on internet for everyone to see how is a retreat in US at PTC. And to not forget that last year I was bitten by a tick and gave me Lyme disease also all people here except John were bitten by ticks and got lime, for 2-3 months I was sick and was the responsibility of the Monastery when we applied to write on the web site, that here is a very dangerous area with Lyme ticks, the most dangerous in all America.

 Again this year I became very sick also had a very bad allergy. My eyes itching very red, also had pus in one eye. I've put a letter for the doctor in a Monday for D. the caretaker to photo and to send it to the him, she took it on Tuesday but the doctor came on Saturday, 4 days later, because D. didn't take the picture of the letter to send it to the doc.  During this days my allergy was going worse and worse, and if I wouldn't have tried many eye drops some also with antibiotics, I would have to signal the alarm to go at Emergency. All this because D. didn't do her job right, didn't inform the doc J. F. I wrote to LT and to monastery to change the caretaker D., to put someone else, because she harmed my health again, and if they don't change her that I will sue the Monastery. Of course they didn't do anything like usual.

In the end they came up with a reason to kick me out of the retreat by miss-interpreting some wording in one of my complaints letters about food steeling and opening my private letters. 

So this is the story of my experience in a three years retreat at KTC/PTC New York USA 2024. In my view is very important for future retreatants to know what they can expect from a retreat here at PTC, for them to choose the right place, because are may retreats available

 The all knowing 16th Gyalwang Karmapa told before he passed into paranirvana to lama Norlha that on that place there will be ten 3 years retreats. The one I entered was exactly the tenth, the last one according to H.H. Karmapa's prophecy. This remains to be seen.

monk karma shenphen odzer dorje

Dearest Naropa Community,

I received a communication from Nathan Stone, a lawyer for Naropa, who demands that I "(4) both recant your tortious statements and apologize to Naropa and Mr. Lief, publicly and in writing, to all of the forums in which you made defamatory, tortious statements, including but not limited to Facebook and Reddit, and to all Naropa students (and their family members), faculty, trustees, community partners, clinic directors, and anyone else you contacted regarding this matter."

So I recant all my statements. I am sorry for writing about my experience and saying bad things about Charles Lief and Naropa.

It is clear that Mr. Lief is a superb leader.

All the best.

Shambhala grifters. It has been reported that Chuck Lief the President of Naropa has been receiving the following compensation at the same time that Naropa has been selling off assets including plans to sell their main campus. The level of compensation of a tiny non-profit, for an incompetent leader driving the organization into the ground due to poor leadership and management, is astounding. It has also been reported that the head of Shambhala Mountain Center, currently known as Drala Mountain Center a run-down, barely functioning non-profit known for poor working conditions and low pay for most workers, received similar outrageous compensation - $200,000 per year to Michael Gaynor while he ran SMC/DMC into the ground, paying poverty wages to staff.

Shambhala touts and has proclaimed for years that they are "creating enlightened society". What a joke. It seems what they did was to draw on many of the worst aspects of society such as feudalism (creating a society whereby there is an elite class and everyone else is treated as worthless peasants), the Catholic Church (the infallibility of the Pope, rampant sexual abuse), capitalism and inequality (outrageous pay for leaders, poverty pay for workers). Below is Chuck Lief's pay over the years of running Naropa into the ground. It has been reported that the head of Shambhala/Drala Mountain Center received similar pay while leading a failing organization paying poverty wages to others.

Chuck Lief's reported compensation. Does he pay himself the proceeds every time he sells off another building? What will he pay himself when the main campus is sold off in 2027 as planned?

$238,740.00 2013

$237,194.00 2014

$236,208.00 2015

$235,147.00 2016

$236,586.00 2017

$266,999.00 2018

$257,792.00 2019

$261,483.00 2020

$300,000.00 2021

$513,770.00 2022

I just stumbled across the new Shambhala Page regarding their history, which - I think - was not discussed here already. What do you think of it?

https://shambhala.org/about/our-story/

I've heard through completely reliable sources that his background and past actions are quite shady including run-ins with the law. He was removed from the Governing Council of DDL due to inappropriate relations with a junior staff, but kept on as the Managing Director. How can Shambhala organizations continue to hire such men! He has barely any meditation experience but I guess nepotism wins. His mother and her partner are longterm shambhalans...

Hi

I am a member of another reddit. I was adviced to check on this subreddit in order to get information regarding Shambala Buddhism and Pema Chödrön.

I was a member of SGI during 12 years and left after I realized its cultish nature and found its teachings empty an non- Buddhist. I have been listening to Pema Chödrön talks and found them wonderful, until someone shared this with me:

https://www.gurumag.com/pema-chodron-shambhala-cult/

It really freaked me out. I thought she was against sexual abuse and harrassment. After what I have been through with SGI, I do not want to fall prey to a rotten cult.

Can you please give me some info?

Interesting conference occurring soon. Curious if the talks will be recorded and posted online.

https://www.reddit.com/r/NaropaUniversity/s/jar8J7NQU4

https://www.denver7.com/news/front-range/boulder/city-of-boulder-immediately-shuts-down-building-on-university-hill-due-to-safety-violations?fbclid=IwY2xjawFb_dtleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHSscgkHL_fSGeb2e10hwIhKBOom-snSAY4uISw09ixwl1l4O5qtUGNvtFg_aem_rKol6qyA0It88RlkT2NC-Q

I just got an email from an organization called Shambhala Global Services with an Aurora, Colorado PO address. Does anyone know what this organization is? They were offering online courses, taped from old seminars. One was Thrangu Rinpoche's Vivid AWareness seminar which he gave in Halifax in 2011. There were two other courses offered one with Dilgo Khysentse Rinpoche (Primordial Purity) and the other with John Rockwell. Interestingly the first two courses were $79 and John Rockwell's was $149. Is this group split from the Sakyong? Or funding him? How do they have these tapes?

Occasionally I think, was leaving SMR too rash? He is a good teacher (he actually is), shouldn't I stay for that reason? Why did I do it? So I made a list.

Anxious, cowed students. The true believers close to the center of things are especially scary.

Super fancy gold and brocade.

Poorly-written practices; one of them actually teaches a dualistic concept!

There's nobody to go to with questions or to provide practice support, like an acharya... And he doesn't take questions.

Scary Wangmo: SMR says she looks at everyone who's there on Zoom and she can tell who's practicing (like Santa Claus, she's "making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty and nice...").

TWO flowery supplications before teaching consisting of a recap of the wonderful things he did or taught last time, plus a genuinely alarming amount of praise and compliments and more praise, delivered by European women with rictus smiles and pleading eyes.

He can't teach Shambhala because Diana holds the copyrights. So he is now teaching the path to Amitayus, a Vajrayana version of Amitabha. Amitabha is a version of the B-Dog beloved throughout the world, so fine. But this is a Ripa thang. I can't relate to Amitayus (although I respect them) and I don't want to go there. I'm also uneasy about the politics.

I can't relate to Gesar. I can barely relate to Padmasambhava. I figured, maybe I just need to know more about them. So I read The Epic of Gesar with some SMR students. (Yeeks: 6 pages describing the muscles of a horse? Not much to do in medieval Tibet, I guess.) I pointed out that those two do horrible s#t and manipulate people in terrible ways. Got blank looks except for one Very Important Student who was NOT AMUSED. Sheesh.

A lot of this is JUST LIKE THAT CHRISTIAN GOD! The ultimate Abusive Parent.

Reading my list/screed helps to put me back there, desperate for some connection with, well, Something. Reminds me of how I wanted to run screaming from the room, how I wanted to find other SMR students who were experiencing the airless Tupperware container. I found this list, which is The Place. And while I don't always feel the degree of pain that others do, I do get it, and I respect it.

This missive from Shambhala was in my email inbox today. Doesn't specify what Shambhala entity it's from.

"Dear Friends,

The Next Buddha Project invites you to the sixth conversation in the series, Gender Dynamics and Patriarchy, with Holly Gayley and Aarti Tejuja, Saturday, September 21st, from 10:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m. Pacific time. Here's the link to our conversation calendar. You can register there.

In this session, there will be use of movement, journaling, and dialogue for an embodied exploration of how gender conditioning shapes us and how we can empower our unique self-expression beyond imposed norms. This is an important step to enacting social and cultural change from the inside out.

We hope you will join us and help us bring benefit to our community and our world.

We would also appreciate it if you would send this on to any and all your contacts, lists, friends and centers. This is a grassroots endeavor, so word of mouth is our marketing tool.

With much appreciation,

Frederick Meyer, Janet Ryvlin, and Denise Blanc The Next Buddha Project team"

Janet Ryvlin has been the Shambhala Social Justice Warrior for many years, cultivating diversity in Shambhala by leading embodied self-fruitional exercises in a safe space that facilitate self-awareness of racism and deeply ingrained sexual, gender-related, and socioeconomic biases that perpetuate the white cis-gender heterosexual ultra processed artificially flavored bezene-free glacier socialist revolutionary revolving planet poop. There will be an oral exam.

Can somebody please post a link to the pilgrims letter?

I am a survivor and new here today and have been reading all the posts with joy. I am faily stupid-- I am in therapy trying to figure ot why I am drawn to cults. which is very embarrassing and trying t develop insight so I don't F up again. Thanks for the Amanda Montell book it was really REALLY helpful.Nothing yet to add. Maybe I will just be quiet and learn from you for a while.Respect to all of you.