/r/secularsobriety

Photograph via snooOG

Secular Sobriety: Without any forms of escapism.

A place to discuss addiction openly and honestly, without judgment of a divine being and a focus on how to deal with and manage your use.


Any submissions belittling other forms of support groups will be scrutinized. We're not here to put down those who've found comfort in other means of support.

We're here because we understand some people can't rely on faith alone to sustain them. That a logical, scientific and cogent approach to addiction may be a stronger rock for some than one requiring deference.

We're here because we're human, we've been there or are there, and we want to help.


Some Helpful Links

Secular Sobriety Wiki Page

Secular Organization for Sobriety
non-profit network of autonomous addiction recovery groups. The program stresses the need to place the highest priority on sobriety and uses mutual support to assist members in achieving this goal.

LifeRing Secular Recovery
secular, non-profit organization providing peer-run addiction recovery groups for anyone with a desire to recover from alcohol and drug addiction or who are in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic.

Pagans in Recovery
Pagan-friendly twelve step meetings either as part of a pre-existing twelve-step program, or as independent entities

SMART Recovery
secular and science-based using non-confrontational motivational, behavioral and cognitive methods. Meeting participants learn recovery methods derived from evidence-based addiction treatments.

Related Reddit groups you may find useful:

r/AtheistTwelveSteppers

r/redditorsinrecovery

r/alcoholism

r/leaves

r/stopdrinking

The AA and NA groups are useful too, even if you don't subscribe to their philosophy.

/r/secularsobriety

2,066 Subscribers

5

[Survey] The use of technology to address gaps in alcohol/substance use treatment

Hello!

I'm a psychology graduate sharing a survey here https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/2L9ZDL9 in order to hear more about the barriers and challenges individuals struggling with a substance use problem face, and how technology might be used to help eliminate some of those barriers.

No names or personally identifiable information are collected, and the survey is completely anonymous. I would really appreciate it if you could share your experience. Thank you and sending everyone warm wishes

2 Comments
2020/05/27
21:04 UTC

3

[Survey] Gaps in substance use treatment

Hi everyone!

I'm a psychology graduate sharing a survey here https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/9RMF9GB to collect data on barriers individuals struggling with a substance use problem face when trying to find appropriate help, and how technology might help eliminate some of those barriers. I wasn't able to get enough responses the first time so I'm sharing it again with the hopes of getting some more! :)

No names or personally identifiable information are collected, and the survey is completely anonymous. I would really appreciate it if you could share your experience. Thank you and hope everyone is staying safe!

1 Comment
2020/04/29
23:40 UTC

6

[Survey] Gaps in substance use treatment

Hello everyone,

I'm a psychology graduate sharing a survey here https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/R2YVPGD to collect data on barriers individuals struggling with a substance use problem face when trying to find appropriate help, and how technology might help eliminate some of those barriers.

No names or personally identifiable information are collected, and the survey is completely anonymous. I would really appreciate it if you could share your experience. Thank you and hope everyone is staying safe!

0 Comments
2020/04/23
22:16 UTC

1

Are you in recovery from alcohol addiction? Participants needed! (UK only)

Hi everyone,
I hope that you're all having a great week.
I am a psychology student at the University of Gloucestershire conducting a study which explores the factors associated with the wellbeing of people in recovery from alcohol problems. I chose this topic because I am extremely passionate about recovery and hoping to promote it at Uni.

You can take part if you're in recovery from alcohol problems, 18+ and resident in the UK.
The study can be completed online in less than 15 minutes and it's completely anonymous-- you won't be asked for any sensitive data. If you take part, you can enter into a draw to win a £50 Amazon UK voucher!

https://glos.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/recovery

Thanks for your time :)

1 Comment
2020/01/31
09:42 UTC

7

Are you in recovery from alcohol addiction? WE NEED YOU!

Hey everyone,

I hope that you're having a nice weekend. I am a psychology student in the UK looking for inspirational stories of recovery from alcohol problems for my dissertation. I chose this topic because I had my struggles with addiction and consider myself to be in recovery. Also, I want to promote recovery at university!

I need your help! If you live in the UK and have been in recovery for six months-- I kindly invite you to take part. You can complete the survey online, it should take less than 15 minutes and you could win a £50 Amazon voucher!! Recovery has a different connotation for everyone, so whether you are sober or not-- you're welcome to take part.

By the way, it's completely anonymous-- you won't be asked for any sensitive data. The link is below.

TAKE PART: https://glos.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/recovery

Thanks, guys and look forward to hearing from you.

0 Comments
2019/12/15
16:09 UTC

5

New website with maps of "sober spaces" & other great resources for people in recovery

As people are becoming more conscious of alcohol’s effects on their body, mental health, and general well-being, more establishments and events are popping up to cater to this sober or “sober curious” audience. Let’s share our experiences and recommendations so that we can support each other in recovery, abstinence, moderation or whichever path you choose.

Check out sober cities (sobercities.travel.blog) to learn more and share your suggestions!.

0 Comments
2019/12/06
20:43 UTC

6

Ever feel guilty for not helping others

I don't mean that in an assuming way, and just talking about myself.

Left to my own devices I tend to be pretty introverted. I assume lead by example is a good way to influence others but often feel I fall short as any sort of inspiration. I try to though.

When I was in AA , it was this organized system to force you to reach out every day, and sort of push you into those scenarios. Which could be argued if the always good or bad I'm sure.

Either way living a non AA life in find myself just off doing my own thing a lot, and idk I just sometimes wonder if the other way was better in that sense. But really I left when it came time to tell others that higher powers were the only way, I couldn't do that in conscience then.

So idk. There are so many ways to be of service or help others in life. And probably good to make habits of those things.

But do you ever feel divided if you should even worry about so much. Isn't it just a selfish motivation at times. Maybe it's ok to just leave people alone. They can ask for help when they need it, right.

3 Comments
2019/11/06
18:16 UTC

3

Why is my mom like this?

She doesn’t drink she doesn’t do anything but she does take birth control and she married a drunkard. How does this make sense and on top of it all she’s divorced with him and has been to jail for domestic violence. What made her think in her younger days that this would be healthy for her child? My dad let me drink alcohol as a kid and I got addicted. Not only the but people would consider me the way I am right now a hermit, recluse, introvert, jobless, unhelpful, a deadbeat as someone has called me. I’m not saying I’m not sober because I’ve been sober for 3 months now and feel better than I have in ever. So can someone please tell me why the devil gave birth to me with such a father with a drinking problem?(by the way it’s Sunday and he came home with some alcohol to drink surprise surprise.)

3 Comments
2019/10/13
19:41 UTC

1

Mentor Foundation Fundraiser

I have been volunteering with the Mentor Foundation USA for a few years now. Every year Mentor does a fundraising campaign called Do More 24 to raise money for the organization.

Mentor was founded in 1994 by Her Majesty Queen Silvia of Sweden and the World Health Organization. It is the largest non-profit network of its kind for evidence-based programs that prevent drug abuse among youth. Mentor has implemented projects in over 80 countries impacting more than 6 million young people.

Opioid addiction is currently the biggest public health crisis in the United States.

Please click on the link below to join me in helping support Mentor Foundation USA. Your contribution will make a big difference! Together, we can help empower more young people to live healthy and productive lives, free of drugs.

The campaign lasts until noon today.

Please direct donations to this link: https://www.domore24.org/richmerskimentor

Thank you for your support!

0 Comments
2019/05/23
13:17 UTC

8

Defining "Secular" in Practical Terms

Hey folks. I got sober in AA many years ago and am still sober in AA, but for the last five years I've been going to basically secular meetings, and mostly avoiding traditional AA.

I've been trying to branch out recently and hit more secular meetings in my region, in places within driving distance. And I've found a few things that really surprised me.

Here in my local area our definition of "secular" means something along the lines of "atheist-friendly." But in a lot of the meetings I've been to, people are still talking a lot about "higher power." And I don't really get it.

On the one hand, I realize that we've got to make space for each other and keep the gate open as wide as possible. On the other hand, if you are cool and gang with Bill W's positions on the existence and accessibility of a vague supernatural consciousness who rules our world and can change our personalities, why would you want to attend a meeting called "We Agnostics," or "Beyond Belief," or "Without a Prayer," etc?

I realize that my language and my question will probably be interpreted as a provocation. But I'd actually like to know the real answer.

3 Comments
2019/01/29
16:57 UTC

7

Young Atheist Lost in a Old-School AA Town. (Seeking Advice)

I live is a small town in upstate NY, and finding a sponsor who is a woman is pretty difficult in and of itself. Finding one who is liberal when it comes to the 12 steps? Not an option for me. (unless I want to travel more than an hour a day for meetings... )

So I am just under 4 months sober, and I have a sponsor that I click with really well. She knows I am an atheist, and up until about 2 weeks ago, this hasn't been an issue. I was willing to admit in a power greater than myself - the universe in all of its immensities, determinism, my lack of control over how things function in the grand scheme of things - and she was fine with this; but she still wanted me to pray. I explained to her that these things were not entities that could here, nor would change their courses based on prayer; and I have no interest or intention in praying. The fact that I didn't want to pray made her upset. She then asked me if I believed that she believed in her higher power, and I replied "yes"; so she said pray to that. I still said no, saying that I wasn't comfortable praying to her higher power because I did not believe in it, no matter how much she did.

She ended up saying that if I wanted what she had, it was essential that I prayed. By this she meant happiness, sobriety and fellowship.

I've talked to other in the rooms about these, and many other "God" concerns, and am often met with so many criticisms that I have never heard anywhere outside of the rooms. One I've heard often is that "You need to pray because it gives you humility." , "The only people who don't like prayer are those who haven't done it enough." , "you are over-analysing and intellectualizing everything, and those are character defects". That one kills me... my intelligence and rational thinking have now become character defects.

I love so much about AA; the community, the support, the people; but situations like this have me at a point where I am close to wanting to leave. I don't know what else to do to try to remedy this with my sponsor. I tried to explain my side to her, but she seems so quick to write me off as unwilling to try - when it's just something that is NOT ever going to be a part of my recovery.

If anyone has any advice, please let me know!

9 Comments
2018/12/20
00:47 UTC

7

90 days! 2nd milestone

Hey everyone, 90 days since I've had a drink and here are my thoughts and pros and cons!

https://youtu.be/kHwN8ZQUF4I

0 Comments
2018/08/10
12:10 UTC

4

No Secular Sobriety groups in my city and making sober friends

What do you do if you have no secular sobriety support groups anywhere in your city?

Also, how do you make new sober friends? Most of my friends are drinkers.

3 Comments
2018/07/05
21:02 UTC

16

Use it, but don't fall for it...

My old AA friends think I'm the bad guy. I was in the program for 4 years and after some key moments and a discussion with my old sponsor, I decided to quit going to meetings. But I still believe that the 12 Steps are one of a few proven recovery programs. I still tell addicts who want help to check out the meetings, but I tell them this:

  1. Go and do the program because you want help.
  2. Stay until you are comfortable with who you are.
  3. Leave. Literally leave. Take with you what works and leave the cult mentality behind.
1 Comment
2018/07/02
18:53 UTC

3

Sober 42 days and started youtube vlog to help/encourage others!

Hi everyone! I decided to quit drinking on 5/10/2018. I've also started a youtube vlog to follow my sober adventures. I believe that many people think it's not possible to go out and have fun, or get really pressured to drink when going out, so I want to show that it is possible to go out and have fun while sober. I still go out 2-3 times a week, I am a promoter for club glow (largest EDM company in DC) and I am also an alumn of the biggest asian interest fraternity and greeks drink a LOT.

Please subscribe to my channel here- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfwvLyg599gAggnQQKklzHw

and let me know if you have any suggestions!

0 Comments
2018/06/22
20:40 UTC

2

ex AAs. When your in hard times, do you wonder if you'd be better off in AA, and following a spiritual path.

Ive been sober for 8+ years, and 4 years ago.....i went through AA..worked the steps, spend a little over a year. I prayed and put believe in a higher power. It was a really big change for that...and even typing that it was 4 years ago seems weird. Because when i am in doubt of where i am in life, i think about my time in AA and it feels like it wasnt that long ago .

It was really transformative on my outlook, my social life, etc. But i think anyone that puts belief in God should be happier right, delusion or not..they have a concreteness to there 'reality' and big questions and doubts are sort of settled in that way. Of course we all have our days and im guessing as I think i did, when life is feeling bad...you think about the other side of the fence.

I think i did that while in AA. During bad times wondering what have i done? Ive gone against my own intellect , my rational brain. Trading my thoughts for someone else, for the promise of happiness. Thinkning 'its going to limit my life, living this lie' etc. But the peace was real.......I mean maybe its not authentic and maybe a fantasy....but i recall feeling pretty comforted by talking to God....and telling myself there was a positive force in the universe that was putting my in the right places, as long as i keep working the steps.

But even despite the fact that now living outside AA and spiritual beliefs I have had really amazing days.....days where i was really thankful i had left AA and trusted myself. Despite those good times, even if it has been all bad, and struggle......theres the idea that its actually part of life. That what ever path has you in the favorable state of mind...doesnt have anything to do with reality of facts. Maybe its supposed to be harder, and maybe thats real. But hope that its not that way.....i would hope trusting that questioning side of myself , the part that looks at AA and these established 20th century ideas and shrieks. I hope that bears more fruit at the end of the day....or life. But it doesnt have to, and that doesnt mean its any less true or closely alighned with reality.

Maybe i try to define that too much anyway...reality.

Anyway.....any ex AAs out there who get into doubt about living outside of AA. Whats been your experience? goood bad?

I dont know why i get so hung up on AA. why do i think about it ....they would say its because its telling you to come back. But maybe its other reasons. Maybe its just something I do to myself....to workup a bunch of self doubt when feeling bad.

5 Comments
2018/06/09
01:11 UTC

3

I don't like the "TWNMBD" thing in 12 step programs

Hi all,

I was just on a 12 step meeting. I like some 12 step meetings but I dislike some aspects. one is "TWNMBD" which stands for "Thy will not mine be done". It bugs me because it presumes this "entity in the sky (or somewhere)" has a will separate from mine which is "all good" and "my will" is "all bad" as a regular human being.

I get that I want to not act on any thoughts that will bring me harm if acted on. But, I also think that its still my own will, to do something that is going to be a healthy choice. it's not like all choices I do that are healthy come from some "entity" outside myself.

So anyway I just avoid hearing that. I feel like its a disease for them to be saying that.

I am OK with people saying "Higher Power" although I don't use it myself. But, I also dislike the word "G**" and how its forced into the program. They are too stuck in tradition to get with the times and change anything.

8 Comments
2018/05/21
18:15 UTC

7

This is my Story on my Struggle and Journey with alcohol! I hope it can bring you comfort and help you see things differently!

0 Comments
2018/03/14
20:35 UTC

8

Its the end of day one.

So yeah it has been a long soul-searching day.

I feel a lot of guilt.

Joe

1 Comment
2018/03/02
05:22 UTC

5

High hopes

Today is my second day of sobriety, I spent the entire first day depressed in my bedroom. I have been able to go a few days in the past, but as soon as the weekend comes around I turn into a spineless weakling who doesn't seem to know how to say No! Really hoping I can push through this time.

2 Comments
2017/12/12
01:40 UTC

3

I cant watch TV any more now that I'm sober

I have been scanning through Netflix and I cant find anything that doesn't seem too stupid to watch.

In the past I was always having a beer or a bit stoned. Even then I was a bit out of the loop as far as most programming went. But now, its like......its all complete crap !

anyone else have this problem ?

5 Comments
2017/10/30
02:11 UTC

9

Day 1 of Sobriety - I want to stop drinking. This is day 1.

I'll post again tomorrow. Cheers.

15 Comments
2017/10/17
22:44 UTC

2

Drug/Alcohol Website Idea

Hey Guys I am Ethan, I am curious if you guys think a website with stories of people getting better and fourms to talk to about people getting better with their drug addiction is a good idea. If you are interested let me know! Not an advertisement or anything I just think this would of helped me when I was getting better :). Good luck everyone.

2 Comments
2017/06/27
20:05 UTC

9

I've been sober for 19 months. I'm trying to cope with my twin relapsing after 10 years of sobriety. Her children are in the crossfire and have never been around this before. Her husband is using too. I don't know what to do.I don't know how to help. I know that interference could make it worse

3 Comments
2017/05/17
21:30 UTC

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