FAQ: How to post to a weekly thread?

Feedback Guide for New Writers

This is a thread for giving and receiving feedback on 5 of your screenplay pages.

• Post a link to five pages of your screenplay in a top comment. They can be any 5, but if they are not your first 5, give some context in the same comment you're linking in.
• As a courtesy, you can also include some of this info.

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Title:
Format:
Page Length:
Genres:
Logline or Summary:
Feedback Concerns:

• Provide feedback in reply-comments. Please do not share full scripts and link only to your 5 pages. If someone wants to see your full script, they can let you know.

I'm pretty new to screen writing but lots of experience in related production fields. I bought Final Draft 13 because I figured the industry standard though not perfect was the safest way to go and I could write off the purchase against my loan out.

I've really liked it for the most part and really enjoyed writing a screen play but when I got to around 50 pages the software started stalling and showing the spinning wheel for a few seconds. I have a 2021 Mac Book and run final cut and photo shop on it it all the time so I know its not an issue with the computer. Its not the end of the world but annoying.

Anyone else run into this? Anything I could do to fix it?

im just starting out screenwriting and i really love this idea! if anyone could give me plot tweaks (or any help) to make it more fluid that would be helpful!

Link

Messed up today at my non writing job and I wanna think positive lol.

I received a comment on a script few years ago still makes me feel better whenever I think about it. Although the story wasn't doing it for the reader, they told me: "You know what you're doing on the page" and I dunno, it just made me feel like I was heading in the right direction.

This is a tough industry and hey, I ain't even in it, but let's just get positive, people! Feel free to share your favorite comments/critiques/notes you've received on your work :)

Do you think maybe it is a good thing having a script that's mainly psychological, relationships and dialogue based with not a lot of action and no special effects needed and most of it happening at night time and indoors. I was worrying about that regarding my script. And also it's set in New Zealand which would make people expect outdoor scenery, but I'd have to add something to make that happen because really it's a story about people who work at night time.

But I read that it could be a good thing because it would be cheaper to make. It's [in my opinion lol] an incredible story of psychological depth and humour. But part of me thinks because it is a film, maybe it needs more focus on the visual. I kind of wish it was a novel as I know how to sell a novel, but this story wants to be a film script.

So anyway my question is ...dialogue heavy script a good or bad thing?

I’ve seen so many mixed thoughts on this. For one thing, people sometimes not to use them, as its seen as “directing the actors”.

On the other hand, I see so many screenplays use them! What do I do? To use parentheticals or not?

Hey y’all, about a while ago I set out to finally write my first feature. I’ve been writing (inconsistently) for the past three years but only pumping out shorts. I never truly felt “ready” to write my first feature there has always been an idea cooking in my head and I just want to get it on paper.

I spent a long time trying to sort out the timeline of the story and I do have some really fun beats/set pieces in mind but I always had trouble figuring out the meat of the story. What’s happening in between?

I spent too much time trying to figure that out until I just decided to just write and figure it out as I go. That idea worked for a bit, just getting in the flow of things really helped but I inevitably hit that wall of “well what the hell happens next?” I know no one can answer this specific question for me but I just wanted to ask is this method of writing destructive? Writing from beat to beat aimlessly? Or is this honestly how writing a feature is, and would it be a dumb decision to come back to that moment later and skip ahead to essentially just write what I already know what happens?

Getting your film “set up” at a company vs having a company buy your pitch…is there any difference between the two other than you get paid if they buy your pitch, whereas if you’re just “set up” somewhere, you’re just writing for free on spec?

Is getting a pitch sold more of a formal pitching process, whereas getting “set up” can be as simple as they like your idea/concept/story and decide to start developing it with you?

I’m new to the industry, so please bear with me…trying to learn how all of this works. I appreciate any insight regarding the process of working with a company in the early stages of development. Thanks!

I’m writing a scene for my pilot that involves a store robbery that’s a major plot point. I really can use some suggestions on robbery scenes in shows and movies so that I can study how to build the tension. Thanks!

Edit: Nothinv elaborate like big time bank heists or anything just Little corner store robberies essentially.

Edit: thank you for all the suggestions! I’m sure I’ll find what I need now

Hi everyone! I’m a (about to be) high-school grad who IS (mark my words 😅) gonna be a writer/director and (since you all have way more experience than me!) I was wondering if you all could help me out.

I have asked a few people here and there some tips on becoming a better screenwriter and nearly all of them have said “read good film scripts” or something similar. And so, the other day I sat down to read the first 10 pages of “The Substance” screenplay as it’s currently my favorite movie of the year and I heard it was very unconventional. Needless to say, I read well over 10 pages and finished the script entirely!

So I was wondering if you guys/gals have ever read a screenplay that you were completely absorbed by, something that you just COULD NOT put down and also why you couldn’t stop reading it.

Thank you :)

Hello, sorry if this is the wrong place to ask. I am a gamedev, working on my second horror game. I have a couple story ideas but nothing very solid. And I can't really find an interesting ending for any of my ideas. I have been thinking about the ideas and honestly its making my head hurt at this point. I am a writing newbie, is there any writing methods you're following, or youtube tutorials you can share with me? any tips on how can I work more efficiently? thanks a lot!

It was about screenwriting structure, explaining tons of plot points and the 3/4 act structure. One thing I remember is that it had graphs that I think were made by the guy and he used Little Room by the White Stripes in his intro and also Kid A's instrumental by Radiohead throughout the video. Anyone knows what video that was? I've been searching for hours now, thanks

I'm a relative newbie screenwriter (albeit pushing 50 in human years). I hear this question a lot, I certainly don't know what mine is or at least I'm not able to articulate it.

I hear that you need a 'unique voice' to cut through the competition, 'really stand out' etc. But how is that possible, with so many people trying to break in or already in the industry? I can't wrap my noggin around such a holy grail.

Would love to hear what your unique voice is.

First, I can’t give the full scoop on what this job is. The details are still confidential at this stage. What I can say for now is: I got hired for my first paid screenwriting job, and it’s a feature screenplay for a really incredible and prolific producer. And I can vaguely tell the wild story of how it landed in my lap. Hopefully, in a few months, the details will be public. 

I wrote a substack post on how this happened, hoping that it would be informative and encouraging for others: https://rivercrabwriting.substack.com/p/how-i-got-my-first-for-hire-screenwriting

Questions and comments welcome!

I sent a bunch of cold query emails out a little over a month ago and am going to send a follow up email to the people who didn't respond. In sending my cold query I researched proper format, what info to include, time to schedule send the email, etc. In researching the etiquette on follow up emails...there is little beyond whether it is a good idea/how long after do you wait.

My question is what would be the proper format? Send a new email all together or as a response to create a chain with my first email to them? Besides simply saying 'I'm following up on the email I sent', should it just be a rehash of my first email? If responding to my first email do I repeat any of the info already in the chain? Do I send it at a different time than the previous email?

Just looking for general advice on this. I know it's a long shot, cold querying, but I see it as good practice regardless.

Say you write and publish a book that also has potential as a screenplay, and you think you’re the person to adapt it. I have the following questions:

• Where do you stand, rights-wise?
• Would you need to option it?
• How does your position change if your book is self-published vs. traditionally published?
• Can anyone cite any real-world examples where this has happened?

Looking for answers, but also advice and discussion around these questions from anyone in the know! I’m grateful for any and all input; thank you :)

For those who have read a lot of screenplays, how has that benefited your own writing?

Also, when you read these screenplays, do you actively analyse them? Or is simply reading them is just as effective?

I've made a goal to read a script a day (currently day 5) though I'm not sure if it would be more beneficial to read + breakdown these scripts before moving onto another one.

This is based off something that actually happened to me, where for a moment I had a bit of a paranoid delusion that my girlfriend wasn't who she said she was. Wanted to write a short a script as possible in order to increase its chances of getting made.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/uqgb7k0ze99br1r8sqtmx/Facing_the_Trees-7.pdf?rlkey=l791ffmpcmebe1vdul638ub12&st=vz981xeh&dl=0

All feedback welcome!

Log line: A 17 year old aspiring comedian must submit an important application whilst dealing with a mysterious being that resides under his bed from 3am to 5am.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1d7l1zqntEKRPIB0GAJ3YVqZTrtZ4du0A/view?usp=drivesdk

Y'all. I just finished my first feature. Yeah, it's only a first draft, but I'm so f'ing elated right now. I am now a screenwriter. I want to hear all of your thoughts on it, good or bad. I will take this all into consideration while working on Draft II.

TITLE: Anya and the Misguided Martyr

FORMAT: Feature

GENRE: Historical drama/fairy tale

PAGE COUNT: 70

LOGLINE: In the waning days of the Soviet Union, a young revolutionary must escape East Berlin when she's ordered to be killed by her powerful stepmother.

Thank you all for your time and encouragement. I appreciate you and this group!

FAQ: How to post to a weekly thread?

This space is for:

• ideas
• premises
• pitches
• treatments
• outlines
• tools & resources
• script fragments 4 pages or less

Essentially anything that isn't a logline or full screenplay. Post here to get feedback on meta documents or concepts that fit these other categories.

Please also be aware of the advisability of sharing short-form ideas and premises if you are concerned about others using them, as none of them constitute copyrightable intellectual property.

This is a first draft, I wrote it up in about an hour, I’m sure it needs some work and the plot could be improved a lot but just let me know what I can improve on. I didn’t bother putting a title or any of that sort. It’s a little sloppy but just let me know.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1K63wdinE5P8Q1FpV_Y9wIhLuDIqy2shD/view?usp=drivesdk

How would you go about writing some Unintelligable Dialogue from a Radio/Walkie-Talkie? I've seen some mixed answers on things similar to this. Up until this point in the script, there's no mention of the Radio or anyone on the other end but it starts a conversation with another character on the channel. Would you do something like

A: With it in the action line

He continues down the hallway. Left door is closed, right door is closed. Left door is closed, right door is closed. RADIO GARBLE. James stops for a moment and takes out his radio.

B: Or as a separate dialogue line

He continues down the hallway. Left door is closed, right door is closed. Left door is closed, right door is closed.

Radio

(Unintelligable)

James stops for a moment and takes out his radio.

C: Just something else entirely different?

I'm breaking little with tradition here, but I feel like this is a really important issue, as well as one that's close to me personally.

If you caught the end of Scriptnotes Episode 662: 20 Questions you'll have heard my One Cool Thing submission, support of Scarecrow Video, which is in danger of closing due to funding cuts.

Why it's important:

Scarecrow Video, a physical video store located near UW in Seattle, is one of the largest repositories of physical film media in the world - and one of the only ones that allows rentals by the general public. Streamers and studios can disappear their content on a whim, and it's never been more important for filmmakers and audience to have access to these preserved works in physical formats.

Scarecrow is also a huge resource for filmmakers and students of film culture. I was lucky enough to live close by while I was in film school. When I was feeling shitty or frustrated, I'd walk down there to pick something out. No one who teaches film in the Seattle area can deny the support role Scarecrow plays, and it's disheartening to think the expertise and passion of the folks who work there might end up going to waste over what is, by Seattle standards, a very small sum.

The bottom line for screenwriters:

I think it's fair to say that most of us were motivated down this path by love of cinema rather than for love of words on the page. They aren't mutually exclusive, but a screenplay is inside a film, and if a film disappears, the screenplay no longer serves the finished work. A screenplay that's not independently available will disappear entirely if the film disappears, something that is a disservice to every person who put their time and ingenuity into it. I know screenwriters who have had films made of their work disappear without explanation, and it's just as gut-wrenching to them as it is to the rest of the production.

We need more places like Scarecrow Video. We have very few temples dedicated to cinematic storytelling and we need to preserve them for ourselves and for audiences.

Scarecrow's ask is not large. Here's their statement:

In 2014, a group of video store clerks came together to form a nonprofit and take over stewardship of one of the most culturally significant video collections. None of us had any background in the nonprofit world, but for a decade we succeeded – largely on the dedication and sacrifice of our devoted staff and an unwavering support base. But in 10 years, many, many things have changed, threatening our ability to continue.

Sadly, all of our valiant efforts to keep things going at Scarecrow have stalled. Rentals and sales revenue, which were a huge part of what has sustained us, especially in those early years, are now 40% less than what they were in 2015. In the same timeframe, our major expenses have increased by 25%. The final tipping point has been a nationwide decrease in private and institutional funding along with delayed after-effects of the pandemic, and thus we find ourselves in a dire situation. Simply put, our fundraising is not keeping pace with our needs; and though we’ve already cut staff hours and reduced expenses, and our supporters have donated what they can in our spring drive, none of it is enough.

We’ve weathered the extraordinary challenges of the pandemic and the rise of streaming video, and we haven’t had to renew the SOS call – Save Our Scarecrow – from 10 years ago. This is it. This is the SOS.

Scarecrow reported in July they need to raise $1.8 million in order to continue operating. In term of Seattle arts philanthropy, this is chump change. What I personally find disappointing is the fact that Seattle's (and the world's) richest people have failed to step up. I'm disappointed that Hollywood has failed to step up. For us, a donation is a drop in the bucket but for the industry that relies on distribution of their content to audiences, this shouldn't be a challenge. If they're not going to preserve their heritage for the public good, they should at least lend their support to those who will.

If you can donate, please donate. If you live in the Seattle area, become a member and rent something you can't find anywhere else. Go in there and ask one of the staff members to find something for you.

If you can't do either of these things, that's fine, but please spread the word.

I’m looking to read this script. If anyone has it I would be very appreciative.

I wrote an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (23 pages) just for fun/practice. I have zero intentions of doing anything with this, I'm simply just practicing. If you're familiar with the show and want to read it, please let me know what you think!

Title: Turmoil at McPoyle Manor

Logline: The gang hunts for a monster at the McPoyle's insane asylum haunted house.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/18A_S3SjzdBNld6TtXjmcXOUw02rWps84/view?usp=drive_link

So I went to Austin Film Festival for the first time last weekend and had an amazing time! It's focused mostly on screenwriting and the storytelling aspect of film, so it was right up my alley. Badges can be expensive and I don't live in the area so I volunteered on the screening committee.

Overall I found the weekend to be very entertaining and informative! It seemed like everyone had a different story on how they broke in and it really made me realize that there isn't one pathway to getting your story out there. Everyone I spoke to was very positive and encouraging, which was great to see as a new screenwriter. I also found it interesting that so much is moving away from LA (at least in the feature world). Best panel I went to was probably Justin Kuritzkes' panel about how he wrote Challengers. It was so interesting hearing about how he created the relationships between the characters and how he and Luca Guardagino had a very positive collaborative relationship.

If you attended the festival, I'm interested to hear what you guys observed or took away from it!

By that I mean do you write sequentially? Or hop from writing scene 2 to scene 15, then scene 6, etc.

I’m currently writing my first proper screenplay and I’ve found that, after outlining, I’m jumping in between scenes depending on what I’m feeling at the time.

Does anyone else find they do this? Have you ever tried a more linear approach?

Hi, I’m looking for some advice from experienced screenwriters or anyone familiar with industry practices.

I’ve been working with a MOW company on a script purchased through an acquisition deal. They liked the initial draft I wrote (then I rewrote it for free and they bought that second draft), afterward we started outlining a new version based on this concept. I’ve been paid for each phase we’ve done, outline, treatment, and then the first draft.

I recently submitted the first draft, but they came back with notes asking for a complete overhaul of everything except the core concept— changing my protagonist’s name, career and backstory. It sounds like they want me to write an entirely new draft based on their revised treatment without paying me for the previous first draft.

I get that the industry is constantly evolving, but I’m wondering why they didn’t provide this level of direction at the treatment stage instead of after a full draft was written. Also, not being compensated for the first draft I delivered seems a bit unfair.

They’re a reputable company, and I’ve been paid for each phase up until now, but the back-and-forth on this project feels excessive. I’m also working with another similar company and have a shopping agreement, and their process has been much more straightforward.

As a newer writer, I’m hesitant to push back, but should I advocate for payment on the initial draft, or is this typical in the industry? I definitely don’t want them to bring on a co-writer—or worse, have someone else take over and rewrite the project, which I know can happen. I’m happy to do another draft for them, as I am getting paid and just breaking into the industry, but I’d appreciate any insights on whether this type of situation is standard?

The deadline for submission is tomorrow and I was thinking about submitting but I wanted to know if this particular program is worth it.

Any thoughts?

Edit: link below. This is not a promotion.

https://writers.coverfly.com/competitions/view/firstlookproject?utm_campaign=The%20Script%20Lab%20Sponsorship%20Partner%20-%20Script%20Pipeline&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=329820551&utm_content=329820551&utm_source=hs_email