To me I'm not doing anything that can be heard but I'll think things like "if people could actually hear me thinking they'd look over" then people look over. I also hear my neighbours responding to what I think or if someone's in the room they'll mumble things to me but everyone I've asked says they can't hear them. I've mentioned this to my can but they said nothing about it which makes me think I am somehow speaking all the time, even the thoughts that aren't mine.

I know none of yous can actually confirm since yous don't know me but I need to know if it's possible, I've tried all sorts to stop it from covering my mouth and nose to biting my cheeks and everything in between, nothing helps.

I am on medication but none have helped for years

Edit: in my last flat my upstairs neighbour said I was speaking with my throat but no one else could hear him

Please forgive my ignorance, I don't know much about schizophrenia. My best friend since childhood passed away from a fentanyl overdose a few years ago. She drank heavily and dabbled with weed gummies, but I had never known her to use drugs really, so I was shocked when I had heard that had been the reason she passed. She had a close family member pass a few years prior also from a fentanyl overdose and adamantly opposed its use by anyone who would listen.

We had been inseperable from about the ages of 10-18, but became less close in college and even lost touch except for the random text message for a few years when we were both in grad school. We reconnected when this family member had passed and we were both at a personal low. It felt instantly back like we were kids again and like I was reconnecting with my sister.

She'd had a steep decline in the year leading up to us reconnecting. She had called off her upcoming wedding, moved out of her fiancee's home and back home with her parents, chose to no longer pursue anything related to her very prestigious grad degree and ultimately began waiting tables after not working for two years. I figured she was simply depressed and needed support while she figured things out.

I think a lot about the months leading up to her passing. To say she'd been acting increasingly concerning is probably an understatement, but it was hard not to rationalize her behavior at the time. For example, I had slept at a mutual friends house of ours one night and woke up to what sounded like her just yelling to herself in the middle of the kitchen. I was very concerned, but then she claimed to have been "singing" while making breakfast. It still sounded like she was ranting to herself even when I asked her about it, and thought it was incredibly strange she would do that so early in the morning while others were trying to sleep but kind of brushed it off.

I tried to set her up with a friend of mine, and they hit it off - only to lead to her locking herself in the bathroom later that night screaming that she wanted to die and be with her family member who had passed. I asked her about it the next day and told her she scared the shit out of me to the point where I had considered telling her mom, but she assured me she was just drunk and grieving and that everything was fine and begged me not to say anything to her mom.

A few other times she seemed incredibly distant and not there... again, I thought she might have been depressed. We took a trip for my birthday a few months before her passing and she was relatively normal, but at times was super socially unaware - we went to LGBTQ bar and she was making really loud, offcolor embarrassing jokes and then cackling to herself, and I was frankly embarrassed because I felt like she was being disrespectful. This is super out of character for her.

She had started calling me frequently at 3am in the morning. often I wouldnt see it until the morning, but when I called her back, she acted like it was nothing important that she needed to talk about.

Most concerning of all, the week before she passed she told me a really intense story about how her mom and her had been talking and she found out that her mom had considered divorcing her dad when she was younger, but that her dad had threatened to kill her whole family and showed her guns that he had in the house should she ever decide to leave. I've known her parents my entire life, and this seemed incredibly out of character to me to a point where I had trouble believing whether it was true or not. But perhaps I was shocked more than anything. I have thought about bringing this up to her mom, but have never done so as I don't want to make her upset.

A few weeks later, she had passed.

My friend's personality had really started changing in her very late 20s and early 30s. Not drastically, but slowly over time. I remember several times thinking that she seemed so different from my childhood friend, but that I still loved her nonetheless. I guess it could be that she was secretly using drugs behind my back the whole time and I just never knew, which caused the behavior shift. But her family member had died from this exact drug, and she was very vocal about people misusing it. I personally believe she committed suicide, although I have no proof of that. The drug use just never made much sense to me having known her all these years.

Maybe this is all coming down to my guilt for not recognizing some - in hindsight - appeared to be major red flags about her mental health, but I recently remembered that she had an aunt who had been hospitalized her whole life for schizophrenia. My understanding is schizophrenia is hereditary. Could it be possible my friend actually developed schizophrenia in her late 20s? Could this explain her strange behavior in the years leading up to her passing? Could this also explain the very scary and strange story she told me about her parents? Or do hallucinations not happen in this way?

Any insight is appreciated, and again, I truly mean no disrespect for my lack of understanding for this illness. Just a grieving friend trying to make sense of this all. Thanks in advance.

Did you guys say that makes sense… or were you hesitant?

Visited my mother and my son this weekend. Symptoms mostly under control. Except I still believe everyone can read my mind. Clear evidence that this is a fake reality. Staying mindful that bizarre things do happen when I'm not looking. Trying to keep my mind blameless. Snow on the ground. Life goes on.

Hi everyone! I'm in no way asking for a diagnosis. Throughout my life I have dealt with OCD. I have also had bulimia and very impulsive/ addictive tendencies. A couple of days after quitting nicotinemy boyfriend and I were listening to the radio. On the radio they were talking about building a new gas station. All of a sudden I was convinced that they were going to build it on my boyfriend's property and destroy his home. I begged him to go check.

Then we went to the gym and I had to leave because I kept thinking everyone was plotting to stab me.

I've always had thoughts like "everyone can hear what I'm thinking" and similar things, but never any hallucinations, just a lot of paranoia and a bit of delusional thinking here and there. I'm nineteen and I just worry that it's not just OCD.

With all of that said, I was curious to know everyone's story and about the symptoms they had before being diagnosed. Thanks!

My wife and I were talking with our friends last night and she brought up what’s been going on recently with her sister. She said during Thanksgiving she got very angry and started cussing everyone and left. Later that night she sends about 10 different voice messages to everyone saying things like, “mom your a wolf”, “sister your a wolf”, “sister I feel how jealous you are of me and I can feel you trying to take over my body”, and started to just continue talking for 20 minutes about just random things and very angry. She did bring up even saying she was so mad or upset that she wants to jump off a bridge. I don’t know how long after but shortly after, she sends another couple voice message saying she had a great time and said I love you all and acted as if none of that anger was there.

At this point we are really concerned hearing all this. I was thinking maybe this is bipolar disorder. Of course they call her trying to get in contact with her and can’t but eventually they get in touch with her and she’s fine.

So we start to ask more questions about her in general. Apparently 7 years ago she had a major episode where she put aluminum foil on everything, hat and all, and felt like the government was spying on her. They couldn’t have phones around her because she thought she was constantly being spied on.

She showed us other voice messages from her about 20-25 minute incoherent rants about Christianity and God and she’s been going to church a lot recently.

Her and her husband divorced around 2 years ago, she got 100k in money and spent it all within the year. She randomly decided to go to Europe out of nowhere. She has 2 kids so had no concern for where they were going to stay. Her entire personality has completely changed and it seems like before these were episodes but now seem to be major episodes and cools down to minor but never comes out of it. Her sister said she’s never back to “herself”.

This is about as much information as I have at the moment about her.

Her sister and her mom are not doing anything about it and are thinking this is just a phase and that it will pass. I feel that they are unaware of how serious this sounds to someone outside looking in.

We are just trying to figure out what can we do to help since we are just the friends on the outside.

So I’m 23 got diagnosed a few years ago with schizoaffective from hospital psyc. A few years into it I’ve been on and off meds and every time I’m on meds I can’t run anymore. They taken away my aerobic endurance/ stamina and I’m a big runner. I’ve tried to talk to people about it but they just brush it off, I always experience this . I honestly gained so much weight and don’t wake up anymore either and I don’t know what to do. I find the meds help when in the active state in psychosis but when out of it they just seem to have such bad side effects on me. Would it be at all possible that I don’t take the meds I don’t wanna give up running I have a shitty metabolism and I always run to combat it, is it at all possible I can just take the meds if I’m acute and when I’m out of psychosis or any delusions I don’t take them. I just wanna be able to run and deal with some symptoms my own way. Thoughts ?

So I don't know where to put this, I'm new here but I just had a two hour panic attack while at work with a bunch of auditorial hallucinations and I think it's related to my schizophrenia. The voices were mainly saying things like "she hates you" referring to my girlfriend and it kinda had me panicking and spamming her like crazy. Is something like this something other people have had too? Is it "normal?" Should I tell my therapist?

Has been happening since I was 13 (now 17) it's like clockwork. Few times each year I start to get super demotivated and I zone out a lot. I can't think stright and most of the time I just sit ther3 as my eyes unfocus. Eventually I either start seeing stuff or believing things. That or I get super paranoid.

When I bring it up with my friends they think am joking and I wouldn't tell my parents. Idk what to do, I have so many deadlines but I'd rather just lay in the dark all day or go walk around doing nothing.

People make it so much worse. They're so loud and I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. I normally love school, I like making friends but rn I just want them all to stfu and stop being near me.

Am this 👌 close to doing drugs that would make my mental health sooo much worse. Permanent damage. because if I do that then the fuxked up cicle and the waiting stops. I don't want to sit around anxiously waiting to start seeing or hearing stuff again. I can just do it. Basically kill my self in the process. Few weeks ago I would have said how much I wanted to live till 93 bc then I would see the new century. But rn I just wanna zone out and die am so tired of nothing happening. The threat of it happening again and worse is looming over me and it's too much.

Add: actually had delusions before I was 13. Like when I was 7 I thought my old classmates ,thaf lived in another countinent, were watching me through the bathroom window so I wouldn't shower without a towel covering it. Plus other stuff, idk how my parents have never noticed. Not sure if I shoukd ve proud of my sleeveless or disappointed in them.

I just got officially diagnosed with schizophrenia last week, after being misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder for a year, and being completely undiagnosed for 2 years before that, despite 2 episodes of acute psychosis and constant lower-level psychosis. I'm high-functioning, and because of my bipolar misdiagnosis I was already on an antipsychotic that was working, so there is no need to change my medications.

But I'm so, so tired. I just want to go back to the hospital and not have any responsibilities and not have to deal with end-of-quarter projects and living in a world that won't accept me. At the same time I know I won't be happy there either. I got so painfully bored last time, it was torture.

I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for in posting this. I guess just human connection or something.

(As a side note, within a couple days of getting diagnosed with schizophrenia my idiot upstairs neighbor did a poor DIY job on his washing machine and caused a bunch of water damage to my unit which I am now dealing with, so that may also be contributing to these feelings. About 25% of condo is currently demolished and needs to be rebuilt.)

Just curious as to how prevalent it is, as I'm Schizoaffective and have VSS.

So, I'm about to inherit partial care of my dad, as in custodianship of his assets and responsibility for his health and housing, all that stuff. My aunt is going to also have partial legal responsibility. She is what I'd call "psych-ward happy," and has called the cops on my dad numerous times for normal, safe schizophrenic behaviour, because she's scared he's going to become violent. She considers any show of symptoms as evidence that he's not on his meds, and thus will go Jason Voorhees on her. Note, please, that my dad has never assaulted anybody. He says a lot of edgelord shit but if you pay close attention you kind of have to notice they're usually Metallica lyrics. He's not a danger to anybody.

Underlying this, my family has a lot of very firmly held, extremely ableist beliefs. Their reaction to any and all signs of my dad experiencing delusions is to "crack down on it," threatening him with psych ward stays (which escalates his behaviour, because he's scared), cops, withholding things he enjoys like his guitar and model kits, all of this dangerous infantilizing shit. In the most severe case, my granddad once withheld food for days on the logic of, "you can eat when you take your medication," even though my dad was taking his pills and has always been treatment resistant in the sense that medication does not eliminate his symptoms. I only found out about this after it escalated to institutionalization, which lasted for three weeks. My dad and I both claimed abuse only for that to end up going nowhere legally. It is a bad situation.

I need resources that might reach some of these morons specifically about the needs and circumstances of people with SCZ. I've already pursued my legal options and the finance side of this is all taken care of - he's never going to be homeless, dw, but I cannot cut them out of his life, as much as he'd like that, due to his status as a legal dependent. I cannot make an abuse case to secure complete legal responsibility because no physical abuse (defined as hitting him, essentially; we can't prove food was withheld) has occurred and even if it did, it'd be a massive uphill struggle because, with him being schizophrenic, they essentially have license to lie about shit. Convincing them to cut ties with him also isn't possible because in case it wasn't clear, they are fucking maniacs. My best option seems to be attempting to show them some media that can improve their understanding. They aren't without empathy or the capacity to learn, they've just had their brains broken by their dad and fucking Criminal Minds re-runs.

My brother is schizophrenic and in a bad episode. I'm not fully sure what's going on with him, but he keeps talking about things that don't make sense to me regarding the universe as well as apologizing to every single person, breaking down, et cetera. He is very against psychiatric help because he is not comfortable with telling anything personal to them. He is unmedicated, and I don't know how to help him. I'm convinced something bad is going to happen but he REFUSES help. What can I do for him?

It started as just another Friday night. I had logged onto Fortnite to check out the new updates, and to my surprise, Epic Games had sent me the Juice WRLD skin for free. I wasn’t even sure why—maybe a glitch, maybe a promotional gift—but there it was, glowing on my account.

I didn’t think much of it at first. Juice WRLD was one of my favorite artists, and the skin was awesome. I equipped it and hopped into a match. Just as I was racking up eliminations in the new look, my girlfriend, Emily, walked into the room.

“Hey, what’s that?” she asked, her eyes narrowing at my screen.

“Oh, it’s the new Juice WRLD skin!” I said, grinning. “I got it for free.”

Her face darkened. “You got it? For free?”

“Yeah,” I replied, not understanding the tension. “I didn’t even do anything. It just showed up.”

Emily crossed her arms, clearly unimpressed. “You know how much I hate Juice WRLD,” she said, her voice rising. “He’s all you ever talk about. Now you’re playing as him, too? That’s… just too much.”

I tried to laugh it off. “It’s just a game, Em. I didn’t choose this; it just appeared.”

“Delete it,” she said sharply.

“Uh… I can’t. It’s tied to my account.”

Her expression hardened. “Then delete the account.”

I froze. My Fortnite account was years old, packed with rare skins, stats, and memories. “I’m not deleting my account over this. It’s just a skin. I won’t even use it if it bothers you.”

“That’s not the point!” she shouted. “The point is, you’d rather keep that dumb skin than care about my feelings. If you don’t delete it, I swear, we’re done.”

I stared at her, caught between disbelief and frustration. “You’re seriously threatening to break up over a virtual outfit?”

She grabbed her jacket. “If you don’t care about something that makes me this upset, then maybe I need someone who will.” And with that, she stormed out.

I sat there for a long moment, staring at the Juice WRLD skin on my screen. What was supposed to be a cool bonus had somehow turned my evening—and maybe my relationship—into chaos.

Would you like to adjust the tone or add any details?

—Like your mind is a hurricane & a tornado of thoughts both shouting over each other & trying to be louder & louder.
— Like someone constantly screaming in both ears?
Like it's all shaking around so violently that you feel like your head is about to implode or you're going to burst into flames?
— Like you're trapped?
— Like every sensation is boiling, & you want to curl into the fetal position & scream into the nearest object?
It's fucking terrifying & exhausting.

Why does this happen sometimes with super stressful moments? Is it just me???!?!????!!!

I hallucinate all day... As I breathout through my nose I hear a female voice that says "mama" all day long. She sounds like she is in pain suffering sometimes crying it's really loud and distracting. I also hear loud noises coming from walls and specific radiator in my bedroom.

It makes me feel like a weirdo because no one else in the house can hear the noises from the walls and radiator nor the voices coming out from my nose even though they are very loud this makes me think I am doomed because it already lasted so much time and it's not disappearing.

This also makes me feel alone because I have no one to experience this halucinations with... It a very dissociating feeling when I'm talking to someone then stop to breathe and hear this voice it's like a curse.

I am medicated I'm on invega trinza my psychiatrist said I'm stable... He also said medication might not fully take away my halucinations but he did not offer different meds because I'm stable.

Hello. I've been diagnosed and undiagnosed and diagnosed with schizophrenia. I'm sick of it. My friends think I'm going crazy. I think I'm going to do something horrible. I haven't played video games in six months, or written anything. All I do is go to work and sleep. I snap at people constantly. People no longer want to be around me. I don't want to be around them. I've been off antipsychotics since the summer anyways. Made me too sleepy but its not like my sleep got any better stopping them. I don't like my current therapist and psychiatrist. They're useless. Psychiatrist once every six months over video, therapist once every month over video. I never say anything during the sessions because they just sit in silence. They just tell me to go outside and be okay with being bored well fuck you I'm ALWAYS BORED. NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPY. TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME AND GIVE ME PILLS THAT ACTUALLY WORK.

Can't go in person because I'd miss school and if I miss more than two days of school I have to redo the semester. Fuck that. I'm on track to graduate valedictorian and I refuse to lose that.

I have two weeks completely school-free and almost completely work-free from 12/23-1/3. Can I ask to be in the hospital for those two weeks and only those two weeks. No I'd rather not stay home during christmas with my fucking family. I don't care about the holidays. I DON'T CARE. Yes I know it's horrible in the hospital, and I don't care, I'd rather sit at a table folding origami frogs than working and rotting and having to hear crap all day and night and god I just wish everyone would leave me alone. Even the cat's taking advantage of me. I hear him meowing everywhere. Nothing matters to me anymore what's the point. But I don't want to ruin my future. I want to be out so I can go back to school and work like nothing happened. I'm switching insurance providers because kaiser is so ass at mental health but the change is only going to kick in on jan 1st so I'm realizing now that if I'm in the mental hospital I'll be saddled with debt one way or another. Whatever. Ugh. What do I even do. I want to be given food on trays. I like it when food's on trays.

edit: my family’s not the fucking reason. i dont care about them. i dont want to get into the hospital because i dont want to spend the holidays with them i dont want to go because i dont want to work i want to go because im going to ruin something if i dont

Thoughts

Hey there friends, I’ve felt a growing concern for my mom this past year. Over the past year she has found a local church and begun going to women’s group classes (nothing wrong with that), while she was raised Christian she fell out of the more practicing side up until this past year. It had been understandable and unconfusing to me because her father past away last year. She has begun reading and watching videos on Christ and Christianity more and more frequently, and as she does not work she spends much of her day doing so. I have established some boundaries but overall this has only grown more apparent in our interactions, where religion feels like a coping method for her.

I have noticed her asking us if we’ve spoken when nobody has said anything, and taking more notice in random things in the environment. She has also begun asking me why I do certain behaviors as if they are significant, such as why I have a snake necklace and what it represents, asking why people say JC instead of Jesus Christ, and telling my dad more and more Christian stuff. Finally, I have noticed her sleeping in later, forgetting things, and commenting on long Covid’s effects on her memory. I chose to believe this was part of her side in the family and now realize maybe there is more to this. She has a great uncle who was diagnosed but no one else. My grandmother shows similar behaviors however, to a greater degree than her.

I feel like it could be several things but her asking me if I spoke today when I said nothing frightened me.

If this sounds similar, how can I help her? What do I say when she hears things? How can I protect myself emotionally?

Is it common that you experience bliss after psychosis? I feel like I'm energeticly bonded with some people. But I'm not sure if I'm at the right place to ask o not. Thank you in advance