/r/Ruleshorror

Photograph via snooOG

A place to share scary stories which contain a set of rules to follow.

Scary stories which includes a list of rules in it.

/r/Ruleshorror

85,157 Subscribers

6

Top Comment adds or changes a single rule (day 1)

Rules: Welcome to the Louievill Local Mall, all treasured guests are welcomed! Before stepping in though , we suggest you to follow these rules down below! :) Louievill Mall Manager-Brendan

1.Before you step in, please make sure you and all your belongings must be living, preferably meat! Any non-living belongings would have to be disposed outside of the (the rest been scribbled off)

9 Comments
2024/12/01
11:23 UTC

6

Visit the Orion!

The Orion is a museum with different artifacts from outer space and history of beyond the horizon, however, remember to follow these guidelines so that you can safely enter the Orion as a employee.

  1. The museum was NOT made in 1978. If you see a sign that says so, report to your manager or experienced coworker immediately and they will escort you out of the museum.

  2. No matter what you think, we have eyes on you. This is because of the safety precautions we put on the contract, remember to read it before it turns into.. A concoction of sorts.

  3. We don't sell any toys or any of the sort before 3:00 PM. For this reason I can't tell you, it's apart of our "secret service".

  4. If you see a figure behind your coworker, run. Go to 4-15 and lock the doors. For your co worker, it's too late.

  5. Clean up messes before the opening of the museum, we aren't risking that any mess comes to the way of the observers, or them.

  6. This part is now for the morning-shift officers, if you've been assigned to night-shift, go to Rule 10.

At 6:00 AM, remember to close the doors when you hear screeching, don't hesitate. It's not a "thing" in this world.

  1. If you successfully closed the door and don't hear any more screeching, you're free to explore the museum after cleaning.

  2. Most customers might look weird in the day time, so we specialized a certain guide to distinguish them as "aliens".

  • Flat faces
  • Unnerving smile
  • Speaks without their mouth moving
  • Rigid body movement
  • Attracted to the "Buoleovire", a artifact in the sections of Guarians.
  • Say their name is "Othniel" or "Aroan".
  1. Before you leave, check the door you closed with the keys we gave you, slowly unlock the door and inspect if there is anything out of sorts. If it is already unlocked, then we can't do anything.

  2. For the night-shift, go to the museum at 6:00 PM with a flashlight, some of the lights start to flicker or even black out.

  3. Turn off your phone at all times, your phone inside the Orion during 7-9 PM will have a certain signal that can, let's say "attract" species.

  4. Check the artifacts if they are intact and not broken. If they are cracking, break it. We don't want "it" inside you.

  5. Stay with a coworker if you see that a customer is trying to buy something and you hear heavy breathing next to them. You have to lock the closet doors and hide until thirty minutes, grab everything you need. Here are the guidelines that might happen during your stay.

  • Remember your flashlight, the closet won't have a stable light source.
  • You're free to use your phone and call this number: (REDACTED) to talk about the experience.
  • If you hear banging on the door, hold it shut.
  • Never open the door until the thirty minutes.
  • Food or water is essential during your stay.
  • The customer will screech, they're just a sacrifice.
  • Slowly get out of the closet with any defense item.
  1. The following message is for those who steal.

--. .. ...- . / - .... . / .- .-. - .. ..-. .- -.-. - / -... .- -.-. -.- --..-- / .. - .----. ... / -. --- - / .-- --- .-. - .... / .. - .-.-.- / --. .. ...- . / - .... . / .- .-. - .. ..-. .- -.-. - / -... .- -.-. -.- --..-- / .. - .----. ... / -. --- - / .-- --- .-. - .... / .. - .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / .-.. --- ... . --..-- / -.-- --- ..- .-. --..-- / .-.. .. ..-. . .-.-.-

  1. Enjoy your stay, and if you think this isn't the right job for you, it's 60$ a hour.
1 Comment
2024/12/01
08:01 UTC

12

Quaint Cabin Bed and Breakfast

Hey, and welcome to our little cabin in the middle of ---------, Nebraska! We take great pride in preserving our neck of the woods. As such, we have a set of guidelines for you to follow while staying here. We expect you respect these guidelines. Be sure to give us a five-star review!

1 - There is a strict curfew of 8:30 PM. You must be inside the cabin by this hour, as well as ALWAYS stay on the grounds during your stay. Our neighbors don't enjoy when people wander.

2 - You are free to eat any food in the fridge and icebox, except for any meat-like substance in bags with numbers ranging from 5-18. If you accidentally consume any of this, try and purge your body of the substance. You are not ready to live with the guilt.

3 - We have many wildlife living near our grounds. Please do not feed or interact with anything that steps past the knotty oak on the main path. They are not allowed to cross that boundary. If you see any animal go past that tree and come close to the cabin, go back inside and light the fireplace. Do not try and attack the animal. If you hear a knocking at the door after this, close your eyes, it will be better that way.

4 - There is a rocking chair placed in front of the fireplace in the living room. Do not sit there. That is his chair.

5 - There are two bathrooms, both of which have a toilet, sink, and bathtub/shower. Please do not use the bathtub if the curtain is closed. If it is, slowly walk out of the bathroom and do not let the noises frighten you. Once you are out of the bathroom, close the door and act calm. Do not look in the mirror if it doesn't look back. If it doesn't, apologize and walk out of the bathroom. Do not check the bathrooms for cameras. It won't matter if you find one.

6 - If the basement starts to smell, do not investigate. It's taxidermy. You wouldn't want to contribute to the collection.

7 - Your mattresses may feel stiff. Do not open them.

8 - Do not use anything from the medicine cabinet. There will be full pill bottles in there, but do not attempt to take any of them. They are my prescription.

9 - The shed is free to use. Some of the tools may be rusty, so be careful. There may appear to be medical tools in there, but do not use them. They are special. There is also a 12 gauge double-barrel shotgun in the shed. If you do have to venture outside after dark and before 8:30, please take the shotgun. Keep it loaded, but remember to keep one shell for yourself. Please do not get your fingerprints on it. My shotgun is important in my hobbies.

10 - Never listen to the knocking in the floorboards. The whispers are meant to tempt you. Do not listen. They are dead, and they know it.

Have fun during your stay! I hope the cabin is to your liking, and come back soon!

2 Comments
2024/12/01
06:56 UTC

21

Charrons Gas Station

Howdy Partner, and welcome to charrons, this gas stations is a bit special, but thats what makes it worthwhile, Lets get you prepared before you run in!

  1. When arriving, we should have a tan and brown color scheme, this is a western gas station after all, if you notice any other colors, please don’t stay longer than 30 seconds near our store, we will never change our colors and we haven’t since 2001! If you are to go inside however, you have sealed your fate!

  2. We’ve only got two guys running the store since we are in the middle of nowhere, their names are Bob and Aiden, Bob is tall with brown eyes, Aiden is short with blue eyes, If you are to notice that one of ‘em is gone, the features aren’t seen or an extra guy, Hop on out of the store and find another gas station, Those 2 are not Bob, Nor Aiden, and will not hesitate to take your life for a meal!

3.When purchasing gas, We only serve the standard 87, 89 and 90! Nothing more or less, refer to rule one if you see swapped or Incorrect numbers.

  1. We have a janitor that works very hard to keep the store in check, Please don’t make any deliberate messes in our establishment, If you do so with the knowledge of rule 4. It’s best ya’ pray! It’s all the time you’ve got!

  2. We don’t know how this happens, but once you leave the premises, you will receive a SMS text about a 10% offer, Do not accept this offer, We don’t offer any discounts, if you are to accept it, We are truly sorry! Enjoy the last 10 minutes you’ve got partner!

  3. I will come in the store on a weekly basis, I will ALWAYS be wearing our company colors, i have brown hair and brown eyes, if you notice any other feature, Grab Bob and Aiden and hide in any place in the store and pray to god you, Bob or Aiden dont make any noise, Its sense of hearing is quite well!

  4. If i do not show up for more than 2 weeks, Im dead! Straight up! Contact Bob for this, he will notify my family.

  5. The customers we serve come from all walks of life, Earth, Broken Hand Pond, Cribble Rock, Y’Know, So treat them all with respect, You wouldn’t like to suffer the same fate Julia did after spitting on one of our customers, so for the love of god, just listen!

  6. There will be music playing on loop through the store, Not country, strange i know, But Money Folder by MF DOOM will play at all times, If you hear it stop, and is replaced by a low guttural scream, you’ve got about 15-30 seconds to hide in specifically our Beer Cave, It hates beer and alcohol in general, So you should be safe.

  7. After leaving! Do not look behind you in anyway shape or form, Road, Passengers Seat, ETC, If you do look however, Please clasp your hands together and recite any bible verse VERBATIM,That’ll stop it from reaching you for sure, if you cant perform that in 4 minutes sharp, Pray for a swift death!

  8. If you are to steal anything from our store, I WILL know about it and will hunt you down, You will pay one way or another!

  9. If a man in a suit comes in while your shopping or working perhaps, Run out and never come here again, Follow the procedure stated in rule 10 and pray to god you don’t see that hellish abomination while you are on the fast-lane, If you do, Either Vow to yourself to never come to Charrons again, Or Crash into the nearest tree or cactus, Burn the car, Drive off that cliff, Drive into the sea, Anything! That Vow, Or Death is better than what that malevolent hellspawn did to John back in 2006!

I know this is long, but please follow these rules to a tee and you will have a good time in our wonderful western gas station, and again, Welcome to Charron’s!

2 Comments
2024/12/01
01:27 UTC

2

God…

So you’re gonna finally meet the deceased soul of god, the all mighty being that got killed by satan 4 million years ago. If you’re a comment lurker you would already know that he’s technically my father but I see him more of a king with no power, I hold all the power. But he is still quite powerful and for some reason kept his smiting ability. I’ll help you not get killed by him.

  1. We will head off within the next 24 hours. I won’t be coming with you because my energy doesn’t mix with this god’s and that causes fights. You will go with entity 287: Henry instead. Make sure it’s a bear, if it isn’t call me because that’s not Henry.

  2. Always refer to him as Lord Rampine. He is an old school being and will not take disrespect, expect a limb smited for every ounce of disrespect you put on his name. As for the name, in the ancient creation dialect rampine means benevolent, he chose that name to signal that he was the nicer one out of him and satan (or Lord Daarkuma aka malevolence).

  3. This god is not like entity 0 at all, quick to anger pure of heart being that loves to destroy and create anew. Part of the reason I stripped most his powers bringing his soul back. Do not let me catch you angering my puppet

  4. Only mention destruction in turn with creation. God hates destruction on its own and I have seen him smite a chaos number out of existence for mentioning destroying a planet without any creation. Poor poor number 61, he had a loud mouth anyway but the worrying thing is that it’s normally chaos numbers that deal with gods.

  5. Don’t mention the multiverse. I know you have stood trial in front of trini (probably cause I saved your ass from being destructed) but god thinks there is 1 universe. Any mention of anything outside of the universe will result in death by entity 0. what I’m known as is chaos number 32 in the multiverse

  6. Once you are done, signal to entity 287 that you want to go, he will take you back down to the mortal plane, but watch out for dangers from the god, probably annoyed you left the cheeky cunt.

  7. If you see hands reaching down from the sky then you have angered him. He will try and grab you and if he does he will smite you while you see horrors unknown to mortal brains. dont get grabbed by the hands of god

  8. He will smite you if he sees you again, this is a one time trip. Oh what’s going on? I think the power is cutting out… {universe E11057b crashed}

{Power booting up} {Connection established} Hahahaha, stupid creator I’ve always hated him, thinks he’s all his because of his number. I smited that other one.. Volcasaurus his name? I don’t know and I don’t really care. I am the one true god and I will show this poser that even a spark from god can’t beat the real thing. {Connection Reestablished} I dunno what that was about, I’ll see you around but I need to figure out what happened…

1 Comment
2024/11/30
10:19 UTC

34

New Pizza Delivery Job!

[New Email Received]

[CLICK]

Welcome! I'm Alice and i came to inform you that we approved your job application for delivery on our company! I organized a set of rules that I heavily recommend for you to follow while you're on your shift, please read them!

1 - Always accept costumer calls.

1A - If the call is from a number called "####-####" or an unknown number, simply reject. You'll be tracked down if you do answer.

2 - Please deliver any requested pizza within around 35 minutes after the order was made. A happy costumer comes with a fast order!

3 - If a costumer orders a Large, meat lovers pizza, at 11:11PM or around that time, immediately tell them "We ran out of meat." and hang up the call.

4 - When you go get the pizza from the kitchen and hear a clapping sound coming from it, STAY SILENT. Wait for around 1-3 minutes and the cook will hand you the pizza.

5 - Always check the pizza to see if the order is precisely what the costumer wanted. If you spot an error, please hand it out to the chef.

6 - Whenever a costumer asks you to come in, reject and shut the door IMMEDIATELY. That wasn't a costumer, nor a human being.

7 - There's a nonzero chance that if you look back at the costumer that you just gave a pizza to, they'll have a uneasy, massive, ear to ear smile. Here's what you should do if you get caught in this situation:

7A - If you're in a car, slam the breaks and close your eyes for around 4-8 seconds. You should be in a safe state afterwards.

7B - If you're in a motorcycle, Drive away casually, as if you saw nothing.

7C - If you're in a bike, Pedal. Pedal mindlessly without thinking too much. Don't even look behind you.

7D - If you look at the smile while not being in a vehicle punch as strongly as you can the costumer, and RUN.

8 - Whenever you're in a car, and notice that something (or someone) is in the backseat, DO NOT MAKE ANY SIGNS THAT YOU KNOW THEY'RE PRESENT. They're really shy.

9 - If you're on your way back, and notice some peculiar climate changes (Sudden heavy storms, raining sideways, black colored fogs...) Take some shelter. Preferably on someone's house or on a nearby shop.

9A - If you notice the climate changes on your way to the costumer's house, RETURN. IMMEDIATELY.

And that's it! I really hope you have some kind of fun in your shifts, and maybe even some funny stories to tell the staff! Good luck!


10 - Please keep this secret between us. If you don't notice my presence on your shifts, Let my family know that I love them deeply, and if my death is announced, find any kind of proof to incriminate the manager.

7 Comments
2024/11/29
23:54 UTC

34

Huffton academy for unusually gifted students [rules for freshmen]

Hello there, glad to see that you are one of us now, I'm Mrs.Steven, your vice principal! I am happy to see that you are here. Here are some of the rules you should follow to have a nice, comfortable stay here. If you break even the smallest rule, you will be counted out as [redacted]

  1. Make sure that you enter your class at exactly 8:35 P.M. It gives teachers enough time.
  2. Be sure to wear our school uniforms, and don't cover our school emblem on the side of your shirt. Our security is always, always hungry, and he might mistake you for an intruder.
  3. Focus on your work at all times, especially in Mrs.Monile's class. She is so good at catching students, many students say that she has eyes on the back of her head. Of course, not literally though..right?
  4. You will be given your own separate dorms. Your dorm rooms should be on the second building, on the left side of the school building. Do not enter the building on the right, even though the structure might look the same. They are trying to trick you.
  5. Your dorm door is a red color. If there is any other color of doors, do not enter.
  6. Last but not least, be on your dorm rooms at 7:55 P.M. to 6:55 A.M. That is when the security is the most strictest, and our security guards tends to attack everything that moves. And that is also the time when the teachers like to get out of their [redacted]

Putting those rules aside, I hope you will have a wonderful time at our Huffton academy! Our teachers love new students entering our school.
We have been waiting for you for a long time. :)

5 Comments
2024/11/26
15:14 UTC

18

The Civilization || Ch.1: Office hours ||

Name: Sarah Nokia

Age: 26

Gender: Female

Assigned Job: Office worker

Assigned House: Navy-Blue house

Relatives: N/A

Death Date: N/A

Birth Date: March 14, 1998

I joined The Civilization a couple of days ago. As my identity booklet stated, I was given the job of "Office Worker." I already like that you don't have to search for a job; they assign you everything. My friend Amilia recently gave me this idea. Though she was acting strange the day I met with her, she seemed under a spell or something of the sort. But I didn't overthink it; Amilia always seemed to be straightforward.

"Name?" the front desk worker asked. Her voice was blank as if she were trying to ask me a question, but it sounded like she was stating it. I don't know; it just felt weird and inhumane.

"Sarah Nokia," I reply. She nods and searches for my name in what I guess is the place's database before looking over at me and smiling subtly. "This way, please," She says before walking away from the front desk and leading me deeper into the building.

We stop in front of a cubicle. The ones surrounding it are empty, which I find confusing. I couldn't have been the only citizen given the "Office Worker" role, right?..."This is where you'll be working; please do not traverse anywhere else unless it's to the lavatory or to clock out.." she stated before handing me a strange pamphlet.

"Any questions?" She asked. I didn't know how to ask her why I didn't have any co-workers, but I figured there was a logical reason for that anyway so I just shook my head. She bowed her head slightly in goodbye before walking away.

As I sat down and was starting up the laptop my cubicle was assigned, I decided to look through the pamphlet I was handed. It was a set of rules of The Civilization...and my job as an office worker. It'd be a bunch of basic rules so I went through it to not cause too many problems on my first day.

Main rules

1. Please do not speak with any "civilian" outside of the list you were provided with.

This rule is a common rule many new civilians break. Resulting in their untimely death. We sent you a civilian list through via email. You may occasionally check the list for the names of people you are to start a conversation with. This is because some "civilians" are posers. We truly don't know the wheres, whats, whys, or whens. Just don't speak with them.

1a. If you are to break this rule, avert eye contact from the beings immediately and begin walking away with your head facing down. If they follow you, you have piqued their interest and you will soon be chased, and potentially caught.

2. Please do not exit your assigned house during night hours.

Not too many break this rule, but it is still an important rule to keep in mind during those hours. To keep the things that roam the Civilization during night hours happy, we give them the idea that whoever is not awake can and will be their dinner. This is and should be taken as a warning.

2a. If you are to break this rule. Make sure you are not too far from the house you exited from. Then immediately run back in. If you are too far, refer to rule 1 whenever you come across a thing and hope they suspect you are one of the "poser civilians". And if they don't, god bless you.

3. Do not disrupt anyone's ability to continue their daily schedule.

This rule is common sense and shouldn't have to be stated. But it seems as if the wardens of this civilization do not appreciate when people are thrown off task from their everyday lives for simple small talk. You will be kicked out of the civilization immediately. We have downtime hours during the day for a reason; more on that later.

3a. if you are to break this rule, sincerely apologize to the civilian you ever so thoughtlessly disturbed and excuse yourselves from the premises of which you are on and go find other things to tend to other than people's business. An apology will deeply satisfy the wardens.

4. During downtime, do not re-enter your assigned work's building.

The reason we have downtime isn't simply because we feel civilians need time to communicate with each other. It is so the entities that lurk in your assigned work's buildings can be forced into a calmer state, unlike the ones they are in whenever humans are on the premises. If that time is not given and they smell a human's scent, they will undeniably kill you.

4a. If you are to break this rule. We the Civilization will hold a ceremony for your untimely death and we will send your families outside of the Civilization apology-money and information via email that includes the date of your death. In case they'd like to hold a funeral for you.

5. Do not attempt to speak with any of the wardens without a supervisor.

Supervisors are the people you speak with before you even consider the wardens. They are also the only ones capable of speaking with the said wardens without getting killed or potentially hurt as they possess a type of psychology that allows them to do so. They are also the ones who didn't did make the rules after confirmation from the wardens themselves. So do not speak with any warden without a supervisor being within the premises. You have been warned.

5a. If you are to break this rule, you might as well continue with the conversation you are having and hope for the best. The wardens hate to be ignored, so please do not refer to rule 1. And do not confuse them with rule 3. Wish you the best.

6. Do not ask anybody for the civilian who made this list.

A civilian did not make this list, and it was not the supervisors. As I've stated earlier, this isn't really a dangerous rule, but it's a very sensitive topic for everyone in the Civilization. So please keep your wonders to yourself and mind your own business.

!6a. If you are to break this rule...Please find me. I'm begging you- I don't have much time till they see this message. I am being hidden at-!<

"Office worker" rules

Congratulations, Citizen. You have been assigned the prideful job of an office worker. Now, this is no easy job as you are calculating resources within the Civilization and keeping tabs on any files or information the Civilization would like to take good care of. Therefore, with great responsibility comes great rules. So here are the ones you'll need to survive--I mean, do your job.

1. Do not work in any other cubicle than the one you've been assigned.

This is important. We'd like for you to be aware that you do indeed have other coworkers, and those are...well, were their cubicles. So stick to yours in respect for them...And respect for the woman working at the front desk. The entities in the building pay much respect to the woman, so if you disrespect her by going against her wishes, they'll kill you.

1a. If you break this rule, you're dead, which I find well-deserved. Civilization does not welcome people who aren't clever.

2. Do not turn around too quickly.

This may sound like it's straight out of a horror movie but it's one of the most important rules a office worker has to follow. You are always being watched. Not by the woman at the front desk, not by the wardens, or the supervisors, but by the entities who roam the building you are working at. If you turn around untimely, you will catch a glimpse of one of the entities and you will most likely die of fright, which is not a prideful death.

2a. If you do turn around too quickly and you don't die of fright. Pretend you are searching for an object that fell. Then proceed to act upset that you can't find it. This will trick the entities into thinking they chose the best hiding spots. And, if you don't act convincing...god bless you.

3. If a co-worker does walk into the room, ignore them.

Do not even look in their direction. No matter how much of a stir they make or whatever comes out of their mouth do not show any sign that you acknowledge them. They aren't a co-worker of yours. All your co-workers are not permitted to leave their rooms. It is an entity that's out to kill you. But they won't touch you if you don't acknowledge them, it'll trick them into thinking they can't hurt you.

3a. If you do accidentally acknowledge them, immediately call out "I'm your mother's friend!" as loud as you can. As I explained in rule 1, the woman at the front desk is like a mother to all the entities in the building. Upsetting her is upsetting them. The "Co-worker" entity will then leave you alone, not wanting to upset their "mother".

16 Comments
2024/11/26
04:33 UTC

13

I enforce a strange list of rules… i want our (part 1)

Let me preface this I’m sure you lot seen a bunch of these weird rules stories? Some crackpot list dumbass kid that barely gets out? Ever wonder why half the time it’s 5 separate monsters? Well I can’t tell you if every place is like this but this hotel? Complex? Place? I’m that thing all the monsters? Just me guess I’m a sort of shapeshifter no clue decided to keep the phone form one of the new guys that fucked up the other week rather then eat it too,

Anyway you lot are probably curious about the background mechanics and why these rules pop up aren't you? Well sorry can’t tell you much I just showed up here one day in the roof, and I just sorta knew? What to do form there. You also all probably want to know the rules don’t you? There aren't too many 

  1. when the blue man arrives and asks for room 34 always give him the key and let him enter regardless of if it’s occupied or not: fun one for me room usually kept empty but I’m expected to eat whoever I’m there or the attendant for failing to give me the key 
  2. Between the hours of 12 and 1 all staff must remain in the break room no matter what: iv sorta for free reign to do what I want here sometimes I don’t do anything but I’m expected to drain the blood out of em 
  3. If a woman dressed in black arrives at the hotel bar serve her any drink she asks no matter what: this is the one that most new hires fail at loose there nerve when I ask them for real weird stuff but for some reason almost anything I ask for no matter want shows up on the bar counter no clue how it works 
  4. Employee must leave there uniforms in the staff room at the end of there shift failure to do so will result in it following you home: never had this one happen technically I’m able to leave and follow the idiot home since no one’s failed never been told what to do..
  5. Check the security room every hour if there something standing in the boiler room turn off every light remaining in the hotel with the breaker switch and wait 20 minutes until it’s gone: another one failed often some idiot turns on a phone light and I get to eat em 
  6. A dog may arrive and ask to speak too the manager lead it too my office I will be there: ever had to use this one never met the manager can’t remember it being there when I got here either.

Those are the rules weird and arbitrary yeah but there all I really know, when I kill the marks collect there.. souls I guess? Weird orb things I spit up keep them in the attic they go missing from time to time. And that my friend is where the real weird shit started.

Last week, they placed hired 3 new ones 3 girls a short hair blond (SHB) long hair blond (LHB) and pink hair.

As usual spent the late afternoon watching the 3 of them as part of the walls reacted the same way everyone does when exposed to being around me start making bad decisions, works well for the hotel people make impulsive decisions spend more in the slot machines in the bar.. but it can turn… well into lunch.

Things ran as except for pink, the other two scoffed at the rules calling them stupid but pink.. pink just started at them blankly soulless almost, the manager and janitor giving there usual speech about the rules before wandering off the janitor been here long as I can remember.. always followed the rules

SHB was the first to mess up security room trick just stood there in the same of those internet wendigos, she didn’t turn off the lights found her freaking out one bite solved that. Bloodless and clean gone. Other assuming she’d fallen asleep in the break room or something. 

First encounter directly with pink wad rule 3, slithering my way into the closed bar I turned on all the lights before changing into a tall woman dressed all in black funeral gown and waited. Pink approached Walking almost robotically rhythmic march stopping and staring was about to say something then I noticed the pitch black eyes like deep voids. I just stared for seconds not saying anything until Pink spoke first.

“Hello miss what can I get you” she replied in an uncomfortable smooth voice that wasn’t how people talked it was too calm like this was already her normal. “I’d like a brandy with a swallow egg” I replied started enough that I couldn’t come up with anything good.. just off the top of my head. And with zero hesitation or confusion she grabbed the brandy form the top shell and the swallow egg form the mystery cupboard mixing them together and handing me it.

“Lovely evening isn’t it miss so quiet did you just come from a funeral? Does it happen a lot for you?” Pink asked as I drank, normally the mark would walk off by now no rules said they needed to stay just serve me.. instead she was asking questions weird ones. “No no I just like dressing this way” I replied slightly unnerved in tone.

“Surely this must be regular miss you must live around here if heard plenty of people go missing sometimes perhaps even a few minutes ago” she replied same neutral tone. At this point I just downed the drink and walked off into the shadows collapsing my firm and disappearing into the walls. Wasn’t gonna fucking deal with that. It all came really crashing down during rule 2. I started stomping around as some oger looking thing through the halls making a right racket to freak out the two in the break room knocking on the door clanging the vent, only stopped when I heard the screaming form INSIDE the break room just before the hour was up. Pink walked out with a fresh uniform on.. LHB was nowhere to be seen, curiosity getting the better of me and I checked.. 

I fucking regretted that so damn much. I’m a clean killer swallow em all at once or suck out the blood simple shit. Pink pink was on a whole other level, LHB found what was left of her strung up with wire between the fridge and the break room table her back peeled open spine and organs removed leaving a weird limp.. mass only holding its shape by the wires, the massive pool of blood? Well it wasn’t a pool the whole thing had already dried a congealed brown mass, and a scrawled note left on the mass.

“I know what you are and your game she was gonna break rule 2 anyway, decided to do it myself”

Been held up in the roof for.. god few days since then.. bare minimum shit for the rules… pink still there just going with the motions asking me weird shit if she can get me long enough too.. what the fuck do I do? Do you guys know? I want out..

2 Comments
2024/11/25
21:17 UTC

29

WHS Student Handbook#1: Dress Code

I pull into a parking space and twist my key out. I sigh and rub my eyes, briefly adjusting my beanie in the rear view mirror before grabbing my backpack and looking through it to make sure I had everything I needed - after all I was 10 minutes early. I had plenty of time until the late bell rang.

It sucked enough I was the new, middle-of-March transfer kid at Weetbret High School, but I didn't want to make it worse by being unprepared for class. As I rooted through my bag, I made a mental list.

Notebook... check. Pens... check. 3-ring binder... check. Deoderant... check Extra socks... check-

My thoughts are cut off when my phone briefly vibrates. I pull it out of my back pocket to see a notification; an email from the school. I open it up as I grab my bag, zip it up, and swing it over my shoulder before climbing out of my car.

The chilly March air hits my skin, and I instantly regret not wearing thermals under my pants. I tug my hat on tighter over my head and grip my scarf while I read through the email. It reads...

"Hey, Max! We're so excited to have you join us here at Weetbret High School! Below is a link to the student advisor page, as well as our weekly lunch menu and a pdf of the Student Handbook! Please be sure to skim through it before your first day so that you, too, can be a team player and be prepared! Go, Leopards!"

I snort as I walk through the parking lot towards the front doors of the school. I can't remember the last time I even looked at a student handbook. I decidedly click on it, expecting a splurge of pages and small-text, but am instead surprised to see only four pages with little-to-no text at all. The first page that pops up reads, "Dresscode," with only 8 rules listed below.

Rule #1: Open-toed shoes aren't permitted on campus. In the chemistry classes, we often have a lot of spills, and you wouldn't want to lose your toes.

I smirk. Cute.

Rule#2: No shorts or skirts knee level or higher. Our custodian, Gary, has an extensive collection of kneecaps. He likes to think he's a connoisseur of them. If he sees your knees and takes a liking to them, they may wind up as an addition to his collection.

That makes me stop. I read it again, wondering if I lost my mind. This can't be real. This must be some old, outdated Halloween prank, and they forwarded me the wrong pdf.

A part of me wants to stop, but I don't. I continue reading, somewhat out of morbid curiosity.

Rule#3: Profane language is not allowed to be worn! If so, we'll cut it out. We have knives and scissors on standby.

Rulea#4: No pajamas. Those should be worn at night before you go to bed. You will be more prone to sleep in class if you wear them, and if you do, then there's no telling when you'll wake up. It may be 1 or 2 days, or... decades.

Rule#5: Tank tops aren't permitted! If bare shoulders or bra straps are exposed on campus, it could attract the attention of Darryl. He lives next to the school and is slightly a pervert. If he sees you in a tank top, there is a 99.9% he will follow you. Don't let him find out where you live.

Rul3#6: Hats aren't welcome on campus. If you do, be sure not to see Jake. He is Weetbret Highs top archer and wins many awards for the category of archery! Be sure he doesn't see you wearing a hat, or he will use you for target practice.

Rule#7: Hair color shouldn't be bright, fake, or obscenely colorful. If so, we also have a razor on standby and won't hesitate to shave it all off.

Rule#8: Our wonderful secretary, Mrs. Diana Holler holds much pride for our school and would hate for it to be tarnished because of unseenly clothes or accessories. She especially hates tattoos: any student with a tattoo that isn't hidden beneath sleeves or pants or makeup will have it carved out. Again, we have knives on stand-by.

By the time I reach the school steps, my mind is a haze. Whatever sick prank this is, I'm tempted to take it to the office. I shake my head and open the school doors, and let them shut behind me. It's no warmer inside. I look around the halls, navigating them. Students are going through their lockers and emptying them out, grabbing books and pencils.

All of a sudden, they freeze, their eyes trained on me.

I halt, startled by the chill in the air. I look around, confused... is there something on my face?

Suddenly, I hear a whoosh and sharp pain in the side of my head. I freeze and tense, and my eyes fly to see a young man at the end of the hall with a sick smirk on his face, a bow at his side. He's staring at the arrow pierced through my forehead, straight through my red beanie.

I collapse to the ground in a limp pile of flesh and bones.

The young man smirks. "Welcome to Weetbret."

2 Comments
2024/11/24
20:36 UTC

38

The path to Enlightenment

Finally.

After all this time. All the money and resources that I had spent. I had finally gotten my hands upon possibly the most legible clue that still existed in this world.

After the incident at the Bridge, I had chosen to retire. I had undergone an extensive recovery, answered all their questions and actually met the other survivors to revise the file using my own experience. Then, I was given the choice to retire. Although I was only a new recruit, I had essentially completed the task that was required for me to do, and so the government had let me go after making me sign a ton of paperwork.

However, even after I had left and got myself a quiet place to live, one thing bothered me. The words of the passenger had been strangely specific.

This… particular Bridge does not pass into the realm of Pleasure. We are, in fact, going… to Enlightenment.

That implied so many things. Created so many questions. So there were apparently multiple Bridges that led to different realms? How accurate was this information?

From those questions I had started researching the history of the Bridge. I had contacted acquaintances still working at the restricted area, had followed the local news that spoke of missing people, and had looked up old tales of a mysterious pathway that led… somewhere. The tales of which extended far, far more deeply into the past than I had originally thought.

From those legends that matched my experience the most, I came across a tale of a sect of monks that revered 3 different states of the mind. Penance, Pleasure, and Enlightenment. It was too intriguing to simply ignore, and so I had researched their sect extensively, eventually finding out they had scriptures that had specific instructions to reach each of the aforementioned mentalities.

After months of trying to figure out where these scriptures were stored, I had finally figured out that they were, in fact, being kept by… the government. It shouldn’t have been a surprise since they were researching the Bridge using far more resources than I had.

I had made a few calls to the higher-ups related to the restricted area, and they had, surprisingly, agreed for me to view the contents of the scripture quite happily. It seemed they had been tracking my delve into the history of the Bridge, and wanted my opinion on the contents as well.

After another mountain of paperwork, I had finally been led to an archive that contained the contents of the scripture. Specifically, to the one that mentions Enlightenment.

I stood in front of a table as a sharp-looking old man came into the room I was in with a friendly smile. After a short exchange of pleasantries, he lay a handful of papers and images on the table.

”The pictures are of the original stone wall in which it was inscribed. The papers contain the translations of the contents. We’ve numbered the contents so it’s easier to read. I believe you have… 3 hours to browse it? I will come when the time is up. Don’t try to leave with the file, and if you need to use the restroom I advise you go now. It’ll be a hassle later.”

I thanked him, and after he left, I sat down and, finally, read the first sentence of the first paper.

The path to Enlightenment.

Welcome, novice, to the path that leads to true Enlightenment. There are many ways to reach this realm, yet once you enter it you must persevere.

The path is harsh and winding. It will test you in many ways, and to fail the test is to wander forever more in Enlightenment. There is a reason why they say the difference between the enlightened and the insane is naught but perspective.

We will teach you the way. We will guide you on your path. Heed our instructions carefully, else you return changed.

1 Once you stand on the path, look back. There will be a body. A body without a head. It is your ignorance. It is your stagnation. It is the enemy. Do not let it touch you. If it manages to grab you, it will gain a fresh head.

Run, as fast as you can. It will chase you, and you must flee down the path ahead.

1-1. If you do not look back, and run forwards regardless, the path will not end. How will you reach enlightenment if you do not acknowledge your ignorance?

  1. In front of you there will be gates. Gates behind a sitting statue. The statue will not move. You must hurry. The gates of enlightenment are heavy, and it will take time to open them.

2-1. If the enemy is too close, take the head of the statue. It will come off easily. Place it upon the neck of the enemy. It will buy you time to open the gates.

But be warned. Now, the enemy has a head. It can see you.

  1. Once you enter, the gates will close. But the enemy is still following you. It will climb the walls. You must act quickly. Inside the gate, there is a garden. A garden of the past.

Cut open a wound and sew your blood upon the seeded grounds.

3-1. If a blue flower blooms, pick it and place it upon your wound. It will take root. The roots will continue to reach further.

If it reaches too far, you shall become another stone statue in front of the gates. Hurry.

3-2. If a flower does not bloom, dig for a seed. Place the seed deep inside your flesh and pray it takes root. Pray it flowers in time.

3-3. If a red flower blooms, you are not alone in the garden. Pick the flower and embrace insanity. It is better than facing what’s underneath it.

  1. Continue on your path. You will encounter a beast of burden.

4-1. If it is sleeping, kill it, and take its heart with you.

4-2. If it is awake and burdened, spill tears of sorrow for its pain. Accept part of its burden as your own and continue forth. Be warned. The enemy is still behind you, and you will be slowed.

4-3. If it is awake and unburdened, despair. It is not what it seems. Your body shall be buried in the garden. Maybe, one day, a red flower will bloom.

  1. Next, you shall meet the lion. It shall be standing upon a great stone dragon.

5-1. If you have a heart, offer it in tribute. When the lion feasts on the heart, flee.

5-2. If you have accepted the burden, open it. You will find a weapon. Use it to crack the stone dragon. Once you succeed, both will disappear. Be careful of harming the lion however. What happens to those who harm it, even we do not know.

5-3. If the lion has reptilian eyes, do not fear. You shall be the next lion, and shall serve the path of Enlightenment. Be honored.

  1. The final challenge is near. Run, as fast as you can. If the enemy hasn’t caught you by now, it is close. At the path's end, you will meet a child. Do not meet the child’s eyes. If you do, you shall see innocence.

Much like the enemy, innocence is often cruel.

6-1. Listen closely. If the child is laughing, kneel and pick the flower from your wound and offer it. It shall accept, and you will know Enlightenment.

Pray however, if your flower hasn’t bloomed. As said before, innocence is often cruel.

6-2. If the child is crying, kneel and wait for it to stop. If you placed the statue’s head on the enemy’s shoulders, there is no hope. It can see you. If you haven’t however, be silent. The cries will confuse it. You may have a chance.

6-3. If the child is silent, it is no child. We advise simply letting the roots take you. It is better than what comes next.

These words are for you, who have already touched the realm of Enlightenment.

You, who have conversed with a guide and set upon the path.

You, who have found these words in your search for Enlightenment.

You, who have read our words and understood the path.

When next you sleep, you will be there. Heed our words carefully.

I read the final words, and realized something. Was the passenger perhaps… a guide? It did sound very informed…

Then… I had conversed with it.

I had searched for these words out of curiosity and… I had just read them. I’d.. understood them.

“No fucking way…” were my last words before a wave of exhaustion and drowsiness hit me. Not again.

7 Comments
2024/11/24
13:18 UTC

13

Erasure.

Like the title says, you’re in danger of erasure. How many times have I told you to stop being stupid? Too many to count. now you’ve put this entire place up to the whim of whatever being is in charge of our specific multiverse. I do not have time to be nice, if you don’t follow these rules to a T I will personally oversee your erasure from the mortal plane, you can go join the former god that died to the demons.

Rule 1: you will need a watch, a warm set of clothes and the chaos artifact trini I’m guessing you got from the last set of rules. if you haven’t, go into the world of insanity and get it, the ruler right now should be the creator of that artifact, he’ll be happy to see his work wasn’t for nothing.

Rule 2: the decision right now is erasure for our universe, you and me will go to the ruler personally and contest it. do not speak out of line. If you do refer to trini.

Rule 3: if you refuse to come with me, I will bring someone else with me but you’ll refer to entity 0 by refusing.

Rule 4: my rank is destructor, a mix of creator and destroyer, you should only call me by destructor while we are at trini’s court. If you don’t refer to trini.

Rule 5: I will be the one to pick you up stupid mortal. You better not try any funny business because I will send you to a place worse than hell if you do. Even the most evil of things must work with the enemy when it comes to trini =)

Rule 6: if you know the ancient creation dialect, when you get told to speak, speak in that dialect your sorrows and mistakes and offer retribution for them. In a good case, we won’t have to deal with anything else, if you don’t know it, just tap me and I’ll speak for you.

Rule 7: if you get asked about destruction, don’t answer it. It is a trick question and answering it will doom us. If you do, refer to trini.

Rule 8: when the trial is over, the court will disintegrate and we will start our journey back, we will have 2 days to prepare for the result.

Rule 9: the result will be on a Peice of paper that will crash within 15 meters of your location on the ground along with the chaos artifact trini you collected, it will either say entity 0, trini or sky, refer to whatever it says on the paper.

Now, here’s the possibilities of the trial.

Entity 0: trini has decided you aren’t worthy of the mortal plane, this is the end of the road for you and he wants me to do it personally. Farewell mortal.

Trini: our universe isn’t worthy, we will be erased, it will hurt and it will not be pretty, none of us will even be in existence after our punishment, if you did so bad this ended up happening I just wanna say fuck you before my time comes.

Sky: we are lucky, you did good enough to spare the universe, but for 10 days and 4 hours, the planet you are on will have electrical storms able to out power solar flares multiple times over. I’d say don’t get struck but it’s easier said than done.

That is it, this is the last time I’m helping you, do anything to anger trini like this again and I will not hesitate to send you to the former god.

2 Comments
2024/11/24
10:02 UTC

26

Audio Log Guide To Taking Care of my dog, Viktor

**CALL/VOICEMAIL

Hey! Ive see you accepted the dog sitting offer, Today, You’ll be babysitting my dog Viktor! Heres how to take care of him, Pay Attention now!

1, Vik needs to be fed between 7PM-9PM, Don’t forget to do this!

2, My dog is a black Cane Corso! If you see any other breed in the house, That is NOT Viktor, Please go up stairs and lock yourself in any of the rooms, except the attic, Lord forbid you manage to sneak in the attic.

3, Remember to play with Viktor, hes like any other dog, and deserves the best!

4,Under no circumstances are you to hurt Viktor, if i am to know of this, I will track you down, so just don’t do it

5, Please don’t bother Vik while he’s eating, He has resource guarding issues and has horrifically mauled the last dog sitter who came too close during feeding time

6, Pray to god you don’t hear barking in the middle of the night

7,Vik can speak, he just selectively chooses when to, and most of the time, it isn’t good, If Viktor says a word to you while on shift, leave the house, I’ll pay you, don’t worry

8, Occasionally, Viktor’s friend, Pickles will come to play while Vik is in the back yard, Pickles is a spotted Dalmatian, When this occurs, Let them play, then RUN upstairs and do not come down for the next hour, Pickles hates when his play time is interrupted

9,We have a record player with ONE record, Viktor Vaughn’s Vaudeville Villian, This soothes vik, if you see 2 or more, Do not use that record, Vik will understand

10,And lastly, do not draw blood around Vik, He is a ex-fighting dog after all, and his instincts will eventually take over

Thanks again for taking care of vik for me, if you have any questions, call me, Also don’t ask about the pay, its 50 per day

**END CALL

7 Comments
2024/11/22
21:25 UTC

31

skychat.net (Voice Chat Rules)

Hello, Ive seen you have finally discovered our cutting edge voice chat application, as for the last set of rules we gave you, here are some additional ones to guide you!

  1. This time, The back ground will be plain ol’ white, should you notice any other color, exit out of the VC lobby immediately and rejoin back after 10 seconds has passed!

  2. Webcams are our newly released product, as such, expect them to glitch out a little, what you shouldn’t expect however is a grotesque figure in the background of someones webcam, should you see it, promptly exit out of the VC lobby, or you will be the grotesque figure standing behind the camera

  3. Remember the Legacy52 guy we mentioned to you earlier? He well.. was the owner, but something happened to him years ago, something we cant bring ourselves to describe, and remember; if you see him, leave!

  4. Mariah224 will hop in the VC lobby around 6PM-7PM, Do not get in the lobby with her, if you are inside when 6PM hits, leave within 10 seconds, if you fail, make peace with the god you believe in, you’ll meet them soon

5.Unlike the actual chat logs, there will be music playing in the lobby at all times, specifically, a loop of “Nothing Like This” by J Dilla, if the music suddenly stops and is followed by screeching, for the love of god, hide somewhere, anywhere, just don’t let that hellish freak see you anywhere.

  1. If someone named “skinreplica336” shows up anywhere while you are in VC, Leave the lobby, the chat log, and then the website, Move houses, and THEN make a new account, if you are to stay in your home for a month with the knowledge of rule 6, please find the quickest way to take your life, we don’t want you ending up like frederick71 any time soon, just listen to us please.

With that out of the way, we hope you have a wonderful time using our cutting edge voice chat features, and remember, Soar over the clouds! ☁️

11 Comments
2024/11/22
12:43 UTC

67

skychat.net

Hello! Welcome to skychat.net, the one and only cutting edge chatting site! Please follow this list of rules to help you find your way!

  1. As such, the background of this website should be a blue sky and white clouds, not sunset, or night, if you notice that the background is sunset/night, Please log off and DO NOT come back for the next 10 minutes, This is for your safety!

  2. Our “assistance” team is entirely automated and relies on text to speech to get to you, If you call our assistance team and the voice on the end sounds a bit too “human”, it is not a human! Please hang up immediately and wait 5 minutes before calling again!

3.Please keep our chat logs family friendly, kids use this site often!

  1. We DO NOT have custom profile pictures, instead, The first letter of your username will be that picture, If you see someone with a image of any kind as their profile, do not speak to them, doing so will have your I.P address leaked to them, after speaking to them, please hide somewhere in your home, preferably your closet, and ignore any noises coming from outside, after the noises stop, move houses, you’ve got 2 weeks to do this.

  2. If you feel like you are being watched during your time on this website, you are! Refrain from looking behind you at all costs, If you do look behind you, you might experience one of the following ⬇️

Irreversible Psychic Damage

Horrific Body Reconfiguration

PTSD

Mania

Hysteria

Straight Up Death

  1. Do not talk to any user claiming to be the owner of this website, he died a long time ago in 2003, So please don’t chat with those types of people

  2. This website was made in 1998! All users will have a join date near their name, for example;⬇️

MatterShift651, Join Date: 2011

If the join date predates 1998, Please follow rule 6 and don’t talk to that person

  1. Occasionally, there will be a woman that joins the chat logs, Her username is Mariah224, Do not speak to her, It isn’t a woman, nor is it human, If you are dumb enough to speak to “her”, you have about 2 minutes to find a hiding spot, preferably in your bed, “She” doesn’t check there, If she finds you, pray to the higher power you believe in has mercy, because “she” most definitely wont!

  2. Frederick71 does not exist.

  3. Yes, there are voice chat lobbies, only fit for 2 people, if you are in a VC lobby and a user named Legacy52 joins, Leave immediately within the next 20 seconds, if you don’t leave, Oh man i don’t even wanna mention what happened to the last guy that broke this rule, for the love of god just listen to me okay?

  4. After using this website, sprinkle holy water or salt (any kind) on your keyboard, you have until midnight to do this, If you cant, i’m sorry, enjoy the last minutes of life you’ve got.

Hopefully this list helps you find your way across skychat.net

Safe travels across the clouds friend!

10 Comments
2024/11/21
21:54 UTC

23

Welcome to the Bridge (part 3)

I started up the car again and, once more, started driving on the Bridge.

I was emotionally drained and overcharged at the same time. Fear, anger and pain guided my right hand as it clutched tightly onto the handle. My thoughts swirled around, mostly thinking about the next damned thing I had to face.

The truck driver. It was possibly the most horrifyingly intriguing of all the beings mentioned in the file. Rule 5-3 stated that if the driver was absent, I was to vacate the car and walk upon the bridge. Rule 7 stated that I must NOT exit the car, but what else I must do seemed to be… deleted. Every single one of my experiences on the Bridge told him Rule 7 was correct. But what was I supposed to do?

Who would delete such critical information? In fact, who would write such contradicting Rules in the first place? No one in the department would knowingly do so, and that narrowed the suspects down to very few. The beings themselves seemed capable of reading the file, as the passenger seemed to know in advance of the current file, and even of the previous versions. That would mean they also had the means to tamper with the file.

Was the contents of the file compromised? The information it had provided seemed accurate as of yet.

I was lost in my thoughts when my spine tingled like cold water was being injected into my very spinal cord. My eyes flitted around like a panicking insect while my left hand started to ache more violently, along with my heartbeat.

Eyes. Another pair of eyes, very much NOT like any human, stared at me from deep inside the fog, seemingly matching the speed of his car.

What? WHAT? What the FUCK was that? WHY the fuck was that? There was no mention of any being inside the fog with eyes like THAT. What was I supposed to do? My breaths came in short gasps as my brain short-circuited. Think. THINK? Why was it staring at me?

On instinct, I glanced at my speedometer.

30 km/hr

Fucking IDIOT. I loosened pressure on the gas while gently pressing the brakes. Keeping my eyes locked on the speedometer, I waited as the number dropped to a safe 23km/hr.

I swore to every god I knew of to smite me down right now. How stupid could I be? If I had gone even one toe out of line, who knew what state I would be in right now? I tried to focus, mentally rifling across every one of the rules. Right now, I was safe. Now-

A light. No, two lights. About a few hundred meters in front of me, twin headlights appeared. My heart started racing again, pumping blood into every muscle and nerve so that I could focus. I squinted, trying to get a glimpse of the driver. Please let the driver be there, please please please pl-

YES! The driver was there. But… why were those clothes so familiar? I glanced down. The uniform issued to every agent was the same. Dark gray cargo pants with another dark grey and black camo shirt, covered by a black kevlar vest used during simulation training. The vest had a slightly unique shape around the shoulders, making it distinguishable from a short distance. As a former sniper, my eye sight was good.

That dark grey shirt, and that black vest… I knew that was the clothes of one of my fellow agents. At this point, I wasn’t even surprised. Yeah, I’ll mourn you later, IF I survive. Otherwise, I’ll be mourned with you.

Yet… my heartbeat seemed to pace faster as my imagination started to get the better of me. What could have… No. Focus. What expression does it have on its face? It has it’s eyes open I think, so not sleeping. But… it definitely isn’t laughing…

This time, I couldn’t control my heartbeat. It surged as I stepped on the path of the unexpected. The driver seemed to be just… staring at me. What the hell did that mean? The distance between our two vehicles got closer and closer until I had only the slightest chance to swerve. I swore under my breath as I glared at the now visibly human, bloodshot eyes. Do something. Anything. DO SOMETHING.

The eyes that glared back at me blinked. Right as the distance between us broke the 10 meter mark, it started laughing. A croaking, dry laugh that seemed… tired. Tired and broken. I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth, and stepped on the gas.

Seconds later, I blacked out.

. . .

“…”

“…!!!”

What?

“..ams!!”

My head pounded.

“Agent Williams!!!”

The voice of my supervisor finally pierced the haze of my mind as I woke. I was still inside the car and I panicked, thrashing around to get to my gun. However, the fingers that held me were firm, and soon my face was wrenched to stare in to the familiar eyes of my supervisor.

“Stand down! Agent Williams, can you hear me? ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT!” He roared, spittle flying on my face.

“Ye… Yes sir!” My shaky voice croaked out, the answer drilled into me during the years of military training I had.

The fingers around my face shook my head around for a few more seconds, bright flashlights flashing into my eyes, probably testing if my pupils retracted. Then, it let go.

“Get out of the car, Williams.” The much calmer voice of someone new sounded. I glanced at the person, saw the glinting medals and badges of honor that adorned him, and unlocked the car doors. With shaking fingers, I opened the car door, and took my first step out of the vehicle in what seemed like forever.

I immediately fell, but there were people around me to catch me and haul my body onto a stretcher. The next few hours were a constant blur of medical professionals checking every single bloody inch of my body. They kept checking, rechecking and checking another time, just to make sure, and soon, I dozed off. When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed, a couple needles from an IV injected into my arm and bandages covering my left hand. I didn’t have any family, so it seemed I was in the ward alone. Soon, a nurse came in to see me awake. She did some checks, again, and finally left to call someone in.

A few minutes later, the same adorned figure, accompanied by my supervisor stepped in.

“Hello, Brian. My name is Jonathan. You can call me Major Hughes. You probably have a lot of questions. I’m here to answer them.” he said.

“…What in gods name was that Bridge?” I blurted out before I had time to think.

“Good question. The answer, however, is disappointing. We, the government, honestly do not know the cause of this anomaly. We have used every available resource to try and track this phenomenon, and yet, to any physical instrument it is invisible. We have no way to observe it, to interact with it or communicate with it in any way.”

I stayed silent at that. I didn’t know what to say.

“Now, to address something more unsavory, we know you probably want some recompense. Filing a lawsuit against us will be absolutely meaningless as we have all the documents signed by yourself that are needed to take any blame off of us. Don’t worry however. All the medical bills associated with your treatment, both physical and mental will be provided. All your debts, if you have any, will be payed. Also, a million dollars will be added to your account right now, with another million if you answer our questions willingly.”

I processed that information as well. I didn’t have any sizable debts, but a million dollars was a lot of money. Possibly even two.

“OK… so… before anything else, I want to ask this.”

“Ask away.”

“Is the file, you know, the warning file… Is it compromised?”

Major Hughes sighed.

“It… is and isn’t at the same time. The accuracy of the file is completely dependent on the whim of the inhabitants. Once, we tried to cram in as much information as possible. That didn’t go well. We tried a LOT of things before we settled on this current version. Even then, they seem to like to… meddle… with the contents. However, as we have no way of blocking them from it, we simply pray that the information is enough.”

I nodded at that. It matched with my experience.

“Yeah, that matches with what I’ve seen. So what happens to me now?”

My supervisor straightened, speaking for the first time since entering the ward.

“You will be given a month to recover. Then, we will question you about your experience inside the anomaly. You are legally bound to answer any question we have about the anomaly, yet, if you answer willingly and honestly, you will be given another million dollars.”

I sighed. At least they gave me a month.

A month I will be spending AWAY from any GODDAMNED bridges. None.

THE END.

9 Comments
2024/11/21
14:20 UTC

13

Oldport, NH Chapter 1: Chuck E Cheese

Hello Customers, as you know, our town experiences unique flavor and challenges. The proprietors of this establishment are not immune to the changes that come with living in our wonderful town. We at Chuck E. Cheese are dedicated to your enjoyment and safety and ask that the following rules be followed in addition to our usual rules. Please follow the rules in your mandatory monthly visit:

The Arcade:

  1. Please keep your eyes on your children at all times, if you lose sight of your child please alert the staff immediately, once located we will scan your childs stamp, they can’t replicate that.

  2. There is no machine on the grounds named Mab’s Maze. If you see this machine do not play it and alert staff immediately.

  3. If a child or staff asks you to play Mab’s Maze, do not agree or refuse, simply tell them that you have to ask your mother/father/parents. Any guardian will suffice as long as they are in the restaurant.

  4. We open at 1:30 pm and close at 9:30 pm (10:30 pm on Friday and Saturday). If you see the location open between midnight and 1:00 AM or noon and 1:00 PM do not enter the store.

  5. No items cost exactly 58 or 116 tickets. If you see an item that cost that much, do not purchase, the device will not work as intended, and we cannot be responsible for it.

The Restaraunt:

  1. The Janitor has asked us to inform you not to look the animatronics directly in the eyes.
  2. The Band consist of 4 animatronics, when you enter the restaurant please count them, if there are 5, exit promptly and return to the arcade area. You may attempt to re enter again when the loop has completed.
  3. If you hear a portion of a 5 animatronic play, try to stay awake for 24 hours, and you should be safe. If you hear an entire song, we apologize but you will not be able to stay awake long enough to survive.
  4. There is no Super Sauce, do not ask for the Super Sauce.

5)Our staff have their first name and last initial on their badge. When food is delivered please verify the nametag. If the nametag does not meet this criteria do not eat the food and under no circumstances should you send it back.

The Restroom

1)There is no rest room attendant, but two visitors seem to show up there sometimes. If you see an attendant ask him to clean the mirror, if he has a reflection, you may still use the restroom.

2)If you use a stall, lock it. If there is a knock, do not respond. Do not attempt to speak or exit the stall until someone else has entered. It can be very persuasive. Staff will never ask you to open a stall door.

3)Stand before flushing, please stand before flushing.

4)Our soap has a vanilla scent. When using the soap dispenser please take a moment to smell the soap. Do not wash your hands if they smell like any flower, the effects vary but are uniformly negative and often fatal. Wipe off as much as you can and ask an employee to use the employee restroom because your hand smells like flowers.

5)Do not attempt to circumvent rule 4 by immediately asking an employee use the employee bathroom when you have not experienced the events of rule 4. While the employee bathroom is generally safe, it hates liars.

The final rule is simple and most of it is covered at other chuck e cheese’s, when you enter the facility you and your child will be stamped. When exiting those stamps are scanned. If your child’s stamp does not match yours, lethal force will be used on both of you. We know life in Oldport is different, but we strive to make your experience as enjoyable as possible. Stay Healthy, and Stay Safe!

3 Comments
2024/11/21
13:43 UTC

26

Exploring Ghost towns in Utah!

Hi! I’ve seen a lot of mutuals interested in exploring ghost towns around Utah. I’ve lived in Washington county all my life, and I just wanted to lay out some rules about going to those places, especially at night.

  1. Always bring plenty of gear, anything you usually bring for hiking/camping will be useful (will post a separate gear guide if this gets enough attention)
  2. Always bring sage/crystals! It works wonders for most people looking to ward off more harmful spirits. 
  3. Expanding on rule 2, evil spirits DO hang out in these places! And they pose a threat to you and kinder spirits. A good way to tell the difference is to ask to shake hands! Most kind spirits will refuse, due to them not wanting to hurt you.
  4. Try to stay away from Grafton!
  5. If you see any wildlife, try to leave it alone. Most coyotes are used to seeing people around these towns but they still get anxious. 
  6. Careful about second floors in structures, a lot of the buildings are structurally unsound. 
  7. Most places are empty, but some do provide tours! Take the tours! They’re very interesting, and safe.
  8. Do not drink any water you find there! The water is usually contaminated by the mines. It hurts me to drink.
  9. Try not to explore, out at night, it’s pretty dangerous. 
  10. If you meet any locals (and you are not alone with them) they are usually super friendly! But stay safe!
  11. If you find a teddy bear take it. Dm me.
  12. Respect the history! A lot of artifacts are still laying around and the lore of these towns mean a lot to the locals.
  13. Please, do not go to Grafton. 
  14. If you find a graveyard, look for any graves marked McFates and please let me know where it is! Find me! 
  15. Stay hydrated! Bring Water! 
  16. I don’t want to see you in Grafton.
  17. Ward off evil spirits! Good spirits will thank you!
  18. Please find my brother, his name is Joseph McFates
  19. I said, don’t go to Grafton.
  20. The water is poison! Do not drink it! 
  21. Find my teddy bear
  22. dont go to grafton
  23. the water hurts me, pa.

I hope this cleared some things up! DM’s are open if anyone has questions! 

5 Comments
2024/11/20
19:58 UTC

12

Rules asverl

w-w-welcome! !-i-i am roɓœt§ęrv@n! 3○O0 and i am here to helpyou w-w-with everyth!ng y0u migh! need. y0u m!ght w○ndęr where yoų @re. you're betŵèen d!mensions! in asverl. th!s is whére intergalact!c species 0f all k!inds meet! f0llow these ruLes and you'll be f!ne.

  1. !f someone wears an armb@nd with a bl@ck 6 le@fed clovEr d0n't eng@ge. they bel0ng to An organizati○n kn°wn as slaughterhouse they haVe beeɲ known to k!ll cre@tures mErcilessly and steal the!r resources.

  2. you're lucky english has beeN chosen to be the universal l@nguage. please remember tO (Water is healthy) ONLY interact with english speaking languages DO NOT talk to anyone speaking a diffeREnT language they might sound like earth languages bUt they aren't. and miscommunications aRe Not what you want.

  3. 0nly !nter@ct with humans. DON'T talk to other species. only humans are not NOT TRUSTworthy. Humans will recongize you as their own THREE times 9999 is the number of fun you'll have if you only trust humans.

  4. be careful or you might slip into other universes. you should know that most universes are incredibly dangerous for humans. incase you do slip yell for security to save you. if they don't arrive within ten seconds they won't arrive at all

  5. security is marked with three levels. I am not aware how humans use their senses so i'll describe in detail. apprentices are unknowledgable and masters have lots to do. talk to knowers >! 13 is truth !<

apprentice: color code of vests in RGBX : 0, 128, 0, 0. usual smell of vests (may vary between species) lime, fhshdsj (approximate Translation to english: corpse fruit), feelS cold to the touch.

knower: color code of vests in RGBX: 50, 50, 0, 0, usual smell of the vests rjsbedsj (approximate ttanslation to english: height fruit) , plorpkin (approximate description in english: dish tasting like apples and fish smells similiar to fresh apples) , Apple , feeLs Indifferent to the touch

mastEr: color code of vests in RGBX 128, 0, 0, 5, usual smell of the vests: strong scent that's difficult to describe to humans, feels hot to the touch.

  1. !f a food smells good it's safe to e@t

  2. There is a trader called jarow is known to be a dimension hopping merchant. They're safe to trad with. Make sure they're real and not a faker though. They have a slim humanoid catlike appearance and dark fur. They wear pirate like clothes and an eyepatch over their left eye. Remember that. They have two other noncovered eyes. They will greet you with: good time friend. If the being yoy are talking to misses any of thos traits run and contact the guards. They support 13.

  3. Once every 15 thousand hours there is a festival where meat of all types of species gets cooked and eaten by the survivors. Make sure to either hid for the 100 hours the festival is active or become a hunter yourself.

  4. You can instantly quit out of the festival by talking to a guard before .

  5. I @p0logize if i was glitching out at any point.

  6. 131313131313131313131

12: don't trust any rules that seem to overly glitch out. They've been hacked.

1 3 1 3 1 3 1 3 1 3 1 3 You sure about that

  1. Good, good, bad. Loop
3 Comments
2024/11/20
19:16 UTC

20

Welcome to the Bridge (part 2)

Knock

The sound seemed to reverberate through the car, chilling me to my very bones.

Fear nearly overwhelmed me. I wanted to scream in despair, curl up in a ball and refuse to believe everything that my senses told me. But the file was clear. If I wanted to survive, if I wanted to stay sane and relatively unharmed, I must stay calm.

I couldn’t control my emotions with a snap of my fingers. But, I could grit my teeth and do what I was told to do.

“My… my name is Brian. I wish to cross the Bridge.” I said, nervously rubbing the handle of the gun on my side. I waited. This was the first hurdle I had to pass, and all I could do was pray.

Please. God, please. Make him laugh. LAUGH. Laugh and go way. Please. PLEASE…

The figure vanished into the fog.

I swore and smashed my fist into the armrest over and over again and curled into myself. Unsatisfied, I started clawing at my face with my fingernails, relishing the hot pain that stabbed into my flesh. Why? Why did I, of all people, need to go through this madness? Yes, I had survived, but at what cost?

Tears started to well in my eyes, and I nearly gave up then and there. But fear kept me going. Fear and anger. Fuck it, a finger? I’ll give them a finger. I sat straight, hands shaking on the handle, and looked forward.

I hit the gas, gently, and drove onto the Bridge.

I was careful to maintain a speed of 20~25 km/hr. I kept going forwards, carefully re-examining the contents of the file inside my head. My eyes flicked to the rear-view mirror but nothing was there. I drove on and on, for what seemed like hours, but nothing changed. Nothing appeared on the back seat. My racing heart started to calm, and however much I told myself not to get complacent, to stay vigilant, my body simply could not maintain a constant vigilance.

Then I started to question. Didn’t the file say a passenger might appear? Could it be that I had gotten lucky, avoiding whatever monstrosity this god-forsaken Bridge had in store? As more time passed the question turned to fact in my mind, until I was absolutely sure I wasn’t about to see anything in my car. I was NOT happy though, as that meant I would soon meet the figure again.

My mind focused on losing my finger once more, and I didn’t notice at first that the air had gone strangely… stale. It was as if I was breathing inside an abandoned museum, or even a sepulcher. I snapped back to my present situation and my eyes flicked once more to the rear-view mirror.

Eyes. Human eyes looked back at me, and my heartbeat spiked to a previously unknown level. My eyes started searching the passenger’s face, trying to make sense of what manner of creature it was until I remembered Rule 4.

Do not look at it.

I slapped myself both mentally and literally. Don’t. Look. At. It. Ok. Now what did I need to do. I nearly panicked as the words nearly slipped out of my mind, but I managed to remember the simple sentence.

“Where are you going?” My voice cracked with hours of unuse, but I still managed to force the words out.

Silence. No words answered me as I waited. Was this another waiting game? If so, I was ready. If it wanted to wait, I can fucking wait. But a sound did greet me as moments passed. A sound of… paper? I couldn’t help myself and looked back through the mirror. I carefully avoided looking directly at it, instead focusing on whatever was moving.

Was that… was that my file? My eyes darted to the front passenger seat where I had put the file and… it was gone. I frantically looked back through the mirror and could see the bold WARNING as bright as day. That was definitely my file. My breath caught in my throat as I imagined the horrors I would go through.

A quiet laughter nearly shocked me dead right then and there as that thing started laughing. It was almost normal if you ignored the slight burbling sound of liquid that accented its every sound. For some reason the sound disgusted every part of my being.

“So… this is the current version I see…” It spoke, and I stayed as silent as a statue as it continued to browse the file. “I guess it’s my turn to… voice a verdict…?” I froze, cold sweat starting to bead off of my forehead.

“Well… we are going… to Pleasure.” It said, almost lazily.

One thing I had told myself through and through during the hours of waiting was of the matter of torture or insanity. The thought of either nearly broke me. I could not bear any serious pain, nor could I allow my sanity to crumble if I had the chance to end it. I had seen my fair share of truly insane people throughout my life and I couldn’t let myself become that. No, if either situation arose, I swore I would shoot myself.

My hands moved fasted than I had thought I would, and an heartbeat later I was taking the gun out and raising it to my head. Before I could shoot, my body froze. I panicked, desperately trying to pull the trigger as the thing behind me started laughing, far more maniacally and loudly than before. I tried to scream, to shake or do anything, but my body was paralyzed. Not by fear but by some inexorable, inexplicable force.

Then, it started talking again.

“Relax… Be calm… I was… kidding… Unfortunately for me, this… particular bridge does not pass into the realm of Pleasure. We are, in fact, going… to Enlightenment.

I unfroze, and I madly pulled at the trigger. I didn’t even acknowledge the fact that it was gone until I realized that the safety on the gun, which I had DEFINITELY switched off, was on. My trembling hands dropped the gun, damn whatever safety precautions there were for guns, and my entire body shook with that experience.

No. nononono. I can’t do this. Why? WHY? What in HELL did I do to deserve this? Why was…

Then I saw it. A few hundred meters in front of my car, the figure stood. Waiting.

I froze. And then I started to laugh. I laughed wildly, with a touch of insanity coloring my voice as I nearly screamed with pent up emotions. For a while, I laughed. The figure didn’t move.

Then, I slumped. I was still giggling, but I didn’t have the strength in me to go on. I raised the gun again, but once more I froze against my will.

The figure had appeared directly in front of my window. Even though the window was closed, I could hear its raspy voice clearly.

“You have come this far. You require… a sacrifice.” It said.

As soon as the words finished, an absolute sense of revulsion overcame me. My own body felt wrong. So fucking wrong I needed to change it. I NEEDED to alter it. Drastically. My first thought was of the gun, but as I started to move again, my senses hammered back in to me. No. Not the gun. Not a gun or a knife.

I opened my left hand and looked at my finger. It was almost disappointing… but as the logical part of my brain screamed at me that it was enough, I bit into my left pinky. The pain was excruciating and liberating. It flowed like an eternal fountain of ecstasy from my finger as I clenched my teeth harder until, sooner than expected, I got to the bone. It was fairly easy to snap it with a twist of my neck, and then my mouth was filled with meat, bone and coppery blood as my finger disconnected.

Then, the sensation vanished. I SCREAMED. It was pain on a magnitude I had never felt before. I clenched the stub of my finger as hard as I can while I swore and cried. Funnily enough, it was not entirely of anger or fear.

It was over. The mere fact that the situation I had dreaded from the beginning was over liberated me beyond expectation. The following few minutes consisted of me screaming, cursing, crying and laughing, as all the emotions slowly drained out of me.

During my single month of training, I was taught the car had a basic med-kit stashed in the arm rest, and instructed on how to use it. I opened the arm rest, and took out the kit. I took a few painkillers and with my right hand, bandaged the stub as best I could using rubber bands to try and stop the bleeding.

After the amateur job I had done to my finger. I grabbed the car handle with my good hand and took a few deep breaths.

All the hard parts were over, right? I had survived the fucking bastard figure, and also survived that godsbedamned passenger. What more could this Bridge possibly throw at me?

I started up the car again, and, once more, started driving on the Bridge.

10 Comments
2024/11/20
10:50 UTC

25

Aarons Arcade

Hello! And welcome to Aarons! The arcade where fun may be finite, but it has a kick! Please follow these guidelines to ensure your safety at Aarons.

1.Aarons will be blue and red, if you notice any other color, do not come inside for the next 14 minutes, that is not our establishment, and it will never be!

2.We have tons of brand associated games here for you to select! The following are

Halfbrick

ICE

Capcom

Bandai Namco

Sega

Nintendo

Ubisoft

Midway

If you recognize something that isnt apart of the list we just mentioned, DO NOT touch it, it isn’t ment for human hands, If you touch it, those hands wont be so usable anymore!

3.Please refrain from making any messes on purpose, we have a janitor that works hard for our center and doesnt take kindly to deliberate messes caused by you or the people you are with!

4.The lights in the establishment are always multicolored! If they display singular or duotone colors, Go and hide in the bathrooms within the next 3 minutes, If you cant, we are really, really sorry! Enjoy the last minutes of life you have left!

  1. We Do not have a food court/concession stand, if you see, DO NOT eat the food from it, if you do, refer to rule 4!

  2. There may be a woman with blonde hair and a red dress that walks in,That is Katie! Stay away from her! She will try to make small talk with you, if you let her, she will take you behind the establishment, where you will never be seen again!

7.Our establishment was made in 2005, keep that in mind, if you ask an employee when this place was made and they say any other year, Please walk out of the establishment, DO NOT come back within a period of 30 minutes, you’ll get a 100$ refund and 120 credits on your gaming card!

8.We do not have a bar, if you see one, refer to rule 7!

9.Do not cause a ruckus in our establishment! If you do! Refer to rule 7!

  1. If you hack or sabotage our machines, we will find you, refer to that last part of rule 4!

  2. Do not mention anyone named John or Joanna in our establishments, idk why this is! But just don’t, please man.

  3. If you are to use the bathroom at any time! Check the mirror for a kingdom hearts sticker, if you see one, rip if off in a 5 minute time frame, those who don’t are never seen again!

  4. Be nice to everyone here! We don’t want to have another incident like that one back in 2012, it took us a week to clean up the blood and body parts!

14.We use glass doors, do not go into any part with any other material other than glass (excluding the bathrooms)

15.Over the speakers,we will have 4 albums on loop, they will be ⬇️

J Dilla-Welcome to detroit

MF DOOM-Born Like this

Wu Tang Clan-36 Chambers

Kanye West- Graduation

If you cant hear these albums being played, or the speaker players white noise, leave the establishment and never come back! You will get a 100,000$ refund and a box of tootsie rolls, We are so sorry however, this is for your own good

If you are to go back inside with the knowledge of rule 15, You will be provided with a pistol, take your own life with this pistol, Taking your own life would be better than whatever those hellish freaks have in store for you in the arcade!

I hope this list of rules helps you find your way around Aaron’s and remember

Always have fun! Friend!

7 Comments
2024/11/19
23:18 UTC

20

Virgo Airlines (2003)

Hello, and welcome to Virgo Airlines,this airline is a bit… strange if you catch my drift, oh well. Here are some rules and guidelines to keep you safe and secure on our airlines and this flight!

  1. Please stay seated at all times during takeoff and landing,don’t want any injuries don’t we?

  2. DO NOT Under any circumstances talk to any “person” on this flight, you are the only human being in this aircraft

  3. The flight attendances will only wear cherry pink and white, if you notice any other color, do not for any reason interact with them, they are trying to trick you!

  4. If you look out the windows at any point and see an orange-black hue radiating in the sky AND 2 red dots, close the window immediately, failure to do this in 15 seconds will result in either horrific body reconfiguration or straight up death.

  5. Do not look at anyone when you are walking to our lavatories, i know it sounds stupid but just please do, last guy who didn’t follow this rule went missing

  6. There will be a calendar in this rules sheet stating the date, 6/17/2003, if its any different, do not enter the aircraft, you will be given a refund + a 500$ bonus, sorry for the mishap!

  7. There are no fighter jets flying besides our plane, if you see one, refer to rule 4!

8.If you attempt to ⬇️

8A. Hijack the plane

8B. Sabotage the plane

8C. Shoot down the plane

8D. Mess with the plane

We will find you and make sure you wont be able to fly again.

  1. If you ever feel naseuous at any time, RUN to the lavatory, They hate messes and will rip you apart if you projectile vomit anywhere but the toilet!

  2. Do not disrepect our crew and passengers, they will rip you apart as well.

  3. If you hear screaming and wailing behind you, you dont!

  4. Apart from rule 3, if the “flight attendant” with different colors keeps on bothering you, run AND jump out of the aircraft, you will wake up at home with 10,000$ as compensation, don’t ask how!

Hopefully this little pamphlet can help you on this 7 hour journey to wherever you are heading to, safe travels buddy!

1 Comment
2024/11/19
16:37 UTC

25

jingle.com

Hello and welcome to jingle.com! The best online shopping center for christmas themed items! Before you get to shopping, remember these rules and guidelines to enjoy your time on jingle.com

  1. It is mandatory to make an account of this website, just do it, you’ll thank me later

  2. Do not pirate our items, we will find you if you do

  3. Do not buy any krampus themed items on jingle.com, death and misfortune is guaranteed if you do, for the love of god, don’t

4.The background is going to be red and green only, if you see any other color, immediately exit the website and do not use it for the next hour

  1. Santa, the logo on this site, should always be filled with jolly cheer, hence the smile! If he isn’t refer to rule 4.

  2. Krampus will pop up on your screen through out your time on this site, if so, hide in a place of yours, pick a good one too.

6A. If krampus finds you, accept your fate, it will be over in a few seconds.

7.Make sure the item that is at your doorstep isn’t for Francis Mekwell, if it is, burn the package and refer to rule 4, you will get a refund.

  1. If an elf pops up on your screen, click it, It will ask you a question, tell the elf the complete opposite, for example ⬇️

“Do you hate cats of any kind?”

Say No. That will ward it off

  1. If you hack our website by any means, we will find you

Hopefully you will have a holly jolly time at jingle.com! safe travels!

3 Comments
2024/11/18
15:52 UTC

8

Staying Over! (2)

Hey! I heard you have survived the night! I knew you could do it, today you will be watching over the vinyl records in my house! Heres what to do!

  1. I have 4 records!

Tyler The Creator- Igor

MF DOOM- Madvilliany

MF DOOM- Born like this

J Dilla- Donuts

Igor is pink and black, Donuts is brown and black,madvilliany is gray,black and orange and born like this is black,grey, and light tan

  1. If the colors on the album cover change at all during the day, please do not play that record for the next 33 1/3 minutes! Only god know what happens when you do

  2. If you break any of my records (i.e scratching,snapping,scrubbing with abrasive surface) I will find you! Don’t ask how!

  3. If you are playing one of my records and it starts to sound strange (i.e record is reversing when it is clearly spinning forwards, pitch changes), immediately stop playing the record and play another record (or don’t) if you cant take off the record in the next 30 seconds, refer to rule 5.

  4. if you have broken rule 4,apologize to the record, stupid i know but please do, we haven’t found the last guy who didn’t apologize when he stayed over

6.You cant spin any records at or past midnight, if you do, refer to rule 5 and go to sleep, i dont want to lose another friend of mine

7.take care of the records! theres a record cleaning set near the records! i will know if you let the records get dirty on purpose, if i am to know of this, refer to rule 3!

8.The songs on the donuts record (if you know the context) might make you emotional, feel free to cry, everyone deserves to express emotions after all!

9.if you are staying in the house with a friend and yall purposefully break rules 3 and 7, refer to rule 3, for your friend, refer to rule 10!

  1. if you have broken rule 3, pray, thats all you can do by this point, god have mercy, because i wont!

Hopefully this little guide can help you keep my records in pristine condition

For taking care of my records, you will be paid 33 dollars and 13 cents, and thank you!

2 Comments
2024/11/18
13:06 UTC

30

Staying Over!

Hello friend, and welcome to my home! It gets lonely where im from, but besides that, please follow these rules if you want to make it through the night!

1: Bedtime is 10PM, if you are outside of my room during this time, or you have failed to fall asleep, Refer to rule 5!

2: If you need to use the bathroom at any time of the day, check your reflection in the mirror, do these things depending on the expression!

2A Neutral: Do your business,but dont play around in the bathroom

Smiling: Stay for as long as you like!, Its in a good mood today!

Frown: Leave immediately and do not come back for the next 3 minutes, give it time to recollect

Blank Stare: Grab the salt provided to you under the cabinet and sprinkle it on the mirror and leave immediately! You are not welcome in my bathroom for the rest of the night!

3: Do not go into the basement, you wont like what you see, you wont even be alive to see the rest of it.

4: There are snacks in the pantry, only eat those, DO NOT eat what my parents give you, if you do, refer to rule 5!

5: You’ve screwed up, pretty badly too! Either leave the house and never show your face again for your own good, or either make peace with the god you believe in, thats all the time you really have at this point!

6: If you manage to survive a night in this god forsaken house, pray and thank whatever god you believe in!

7: When leaving, you have exactly 2.5 hours to pack up and drive off, if you cant do this in that timeframe, you have decided to stay another night!

And again thank you for spending the night with me, and stay safe!

p.s, it is my first story on this subreddit, please use constructive criticism! 👍🏿

5 Comments
2024/11/18
03:12 UTC

36

Rules for Penny's Playdates

Uhm...Congratulations! You got the job at...Where is here again?-Never mind, it's never been important. I'm uh...I'm pretty sure I'm Gabriel. I'm here to help you with your first day at--Ah, Now I remember!--Penny's Playdates.

The unusually fun place for kids under 10 years old!...Or kids looking to stay forever...Never mind that!--You got the job! You must feel like the luckiest person in the world...I used to feel like that once too...

BUT NOW!--My job is to make sure you are aware of the dangerous rules that come with such a spectacular job! And how to follow them. Here, I sent you a letter through via email.

#1: Do not bother the red-shirt kids.

Surely there will be a bunch of kids--Mostly wearing red shirts--flowing in and out of the playhouse throughout the day. But it will not be hard to distinguish them from all the other kids. They have this...energy and never leave the premises...I will refrain from further details. Just don't bother them, or worry too much about why their shirts are red...They used to be other colors but...It's the dye.

1a: If you are to break this rule, approach them immediately and offer to play "Pattycake" with them, it will calm them down and stop them from thinking you are just gawking...which wouldn't end well if they did think that of you.

#2: Refrain from having a conversation with Smiley.

Excuse our inability to further explain. Smiley is a woman. The coworkers and I refer to her as Smiley--and surely you will too because she's always smiling. But does that mean she's actually happy? No. She knows what she's doing, and nothing about it is good...But I must refrain from explaining further. A quick nod or so will do. And if she talks to you, ignore her.

2a: Smiley tends to bring up some topics of your past to get you to say at least something to her, and if you let her antics get to you and you end up breaking the rule, her eyes and her smile will widen to an uncomfortable size, and you have 5 seconds tops to get away before she lunges at you. Feel like quitting yet?

#3: Do not talk to the tall worker about something that will upset Penny***.***

You may discuss Penny's identity with any other co-worker, they are all human. A lot of co-workers are tall, but the tall worker is unbelievably tall. That is because he's Penny's little un-human puppet. he'll report anything you say to the boss herself and she will order him to murder you because she doesn't like when humans are aware of her identity or whereabouts. How he does so? Is confidential, even to me.

3a: Usually, if you broke a rule like this there is no going back. Penny is clever and you can't sway her back into her calm state once it's broken. But, there is one thing you can do. Shift the blame to a coworker. Doesn't matter who--any coworker will do. Surely, they'll die. But you signed up for this, didn't you? Surely you can take the guilt that comes with such decision.

#4: If any guardian reports their kid missing, do not check the ballpit.

Kids will go missing from time to time, but it's best you don't dare allow yourself or the guardian check the ballpit. The thing probably took the kid, sure, but it's more to it than you could even comprehend. If this happens to more than one kid, please find and tell the tall worker, who will then report it to Penny. She'll deal with it. She deals with a lot of shit here.

4a: It's usually okay to occasionally break the rules on this list, but this one is the one you need to watch out for the most. Because, there really is no solution. You or the guardian who checked the ballpit, will die a gruesome death I hope I'm never able to explain.

#5: Do not upset any of our costumers.

Like I said, The tall worker is Penny's little reporter whenever something goes wrong. But don't interpret that the wrong way, Penny is always watching. Not a single camera in sight but she is always watching. But she'll never do anything about it till the tall worker confirms the incident. But if there is anything that ticks her off, is upsetting the costumers. A happy costumer is a happy meal for her. For your own sake, Please do not upset her costumers. She will make you wish the punishment was death.

5a: If you do manage to upset a costumer, don't go running around in a panic because you know what comes after won't be pleasant...Instead, do apologize to Penny through the tall worker, and then hang yourself afterwards. She won't forgive you, but her punishments are far worse than death. So it's best you meet the grim reaper instead.

#6: If you clock in and you realize no costumers are walking into the building, approach the tall worker and ask him the date.

This is one of the rules in this list you have to follow no matter how scared the guy gets you. His voice will be like nails on chalkboard, but listen carefully to his words. If he responds with the correct date, simply continue on with your shift like normal. This means that costumers just aren't coming in today.

6a: If he gives you a date that is either incorrect, makes no sense whatsoever, or doesn't give you a date at all. Proceed to flee the premises as quick as possible. This means Penny is tricking you into being her next meal, and you fell for it. She doesn't care about her workers, afterall, everyone is prey in her eyes.

#7: If you miss a day of work for any reason whatsoever, kill yourself.

This is the last but definitely not the least rule on this list. She hates incompetence and she will hunt you down, at work or not, and turn you into...things. Indescribable things. Something that won't dare show incompetence ever again.

7a: There is no alternate decision. Kill yourself before she makes you wish you did.

Now that you've read every single rule we have for you, I really do hope you have an amazing time at Penny's Playdates!...With that said, this is your soon-to-be coworker, Gabriel. Have an amazing last day of freedom. Goodnight.

10 Comments
2024/11/17
23:31 UTC

6

Welcome to circus Slavencia! [Guest version]

Welcome ladies and gentlemen and others as well! >!13!< name is Master majestro. It is fantastic to have you here in >!our!< circus. We >! Heart !< our guests here so we >! Want a hint? !< listening to our rules so we can continue loving you.

A: Parking lot and entry

A1. Choose a parking spot that isn't reserved. Reserved parking >! beginning words of sentences Z !< are NOT to be used by normal guests. We are sorry but rules are rules. Those are only permitted for VIPs. If you do park in one of their spots refer to rule Z1

A2: Surrounding the circus we have some employees they all wear green yellow or red vests. We recommend speaking to yellows as greens are new and reds have a lot to do already. Yellows are most likely to >! Rescue !< you from your problems.

A3: tickets can be purchased online or at the entrance. Please do not lose >! It !< . The tickets can save you from lots of things. If you don't have one at the end of the show refer to z1

B: preshow and museum:

B1: We have lots of snacks! Great snacks! Fantastic snacks! Purchase any green items those can be found in your local supermarket. Ours are cheaper and home made though. Yellow snacks are entirely edible but might be a bit exotic. Red snacks should not be eaten by human those are pretty much only there for some of the actors.

B2: please do not interrupt our actors who are getting their make up prepared. You don't want to see them without it. Last time someone tried to sneak a peak they wound up dead.

B3: we have a gift shop with truly fantastic items to see. >! From !< haunted masks to flea circuses!

B4: we have some small circus tricks for you and your children to try! Just make sure to entirely follow the instructions or you just might end up being the next actors.

C: the show

C1: make sure to stay quiet except for occasional cheering and applause. We have critters that seem weirdly attracted to nois and tend to eat the cause of it. If they get to you refer to Z2.

C2: >! CREATURES OF !< the corner of your eyes might seem very realistic. We assure you they can't do anything to you. Aslong as you ignore them at least.

C3: during the show multiple employees might approach you about someone having stolen your car. If you don't have a car or they are wearing black vests ignore them. If the emplyee is wearing a red vest ask them to tell you your tickets number. This is part of the reason why you need your ticket. If they respond correctly they can be trusted. If not use a wooden cross if you have one. If not make a T shape with two fingers. Yellow vests can be trusted. Green vests will seem unsure. Be friendly and tell them you came by bus or train. If you follow them refer to Z2

C4: if you need to go to the bathroom ask someone to watch your seat and stuff. Otherwise your seat will be stolen and you stuff will be >! HELL !<

C5: if someone wearing medievel attire shows up tell them that they're in the wrong reality and you know their rules already. If you fail to do so refer to Z4

C6: when mudthrower eddy comes on stage applaud and yell " >! Safe !< our souls mudman! This will cause him to throw mud at you. Do not fret the mud will protect you from all future creatures in the corner of your eye and causes black vests and red vests to show up less often. This is also one of the few instances where the noise critters will ignore you. If you are mute or can't yell for some other reason hold the hand of someone who will yell >! Word= !<. Their protection counts as yours. If you refrain entirely refer to rule z3

C7: if you have any snacks throw them away before exiting the circus. If you fail refer to rule 2.

D: post show:

D1: this is the last major challenge before >! Freedom !< that doesn't have a way to make it easier. A wheel will be spun and you have to stop it at the perfect time to get the best result. Anything could happen. Anything from z1-5. It can be avoided if you have a partner or someone who can pose as yoyr partner with you. You both will have to refer to Z1.

D2: tell any actors they did a great show if you see them. If you fail to co gratulate eddy refer to Z1. If it's a different actor you fail to congratulate refer to Z4.

D3:make sure to take any photo of yourself. If your eyes are see through scrape them out. If your eyes are red stab yourself and rub the blood in your eyes. If you look normal find mud thrower eddy he can help you. If you fail on any of these refer to Z4. If you find eddy refer to Z1. Otherwise refer to Z5. If your eyes are any otter color ignore this rule.

D4: Nice you almost made it! Make sure you got everything and refer to z5.

Z: Consequences:

Z1: you will temporarily have to work at the circus. For red make up use your blood. For white makeup use salt and rub it into your wounds. It will create a white powder close to bonemeal.

Z2: have creatures gotten to you? You are dead. Compared to the otheer Consequences it's a better end than at least half of them.

Z3: Lost your defenses? Eat so.ething try to rest. Ask someone to help you.

Z4: Your future is permanent in the circus. Good luck. You won't escape, not even in death anytime soon

Z5: Freedom for you lucky guest.

Z6: Anyway

?: ????

??: if you know the safeword tell it to me. I will reward and thank you for your help. After telling me refer to rule ?13?

13

13

13

13

?13?: ypu are trapped here now instead of us. Thank you for your sacrifice. Welcome to hell and have fun.

1 Comment
2024/11/17
09:05 UTC

34

The Digital Island Called VALLECERA [FIN]

NAME: MANERO KONVILAS

AVATAR FILE: gKhojbU68YhQi2P

PARTY SIZE: 3 (2 ADULTS, 1 MINOR)

DURATION: 6 DAYS

TIMESLOT: 20:00:00 EST (02/18/87) to 02:00:00 EST (02/19/87)

ROOM: 265 AZURE BUILDING

[Exit Rules]:

As much as we enjoyed your company here at Vallecera Island Resort, it is time for us to bid you farewell! To safely and successfully conclude your stay here, please follow all of the rules listed below:

Rule 1: Do Not Tell Anyone That You Are Leaving. Do not give any indication you are leaving while in public. In fact, avoid any interaction with “guests” on your final day. Guests are most prone to KIVVA attacks during this time. KIVVAs believe attacking the final day offers them a much higher chance of successfully exiting Vallecera Island into the real world undetected. As of right now, KIVVAs are not yet able to control the physical body of the person they have taken over, surely resulting in their death. However, we must not give BARKEKIVVA enough chances to test if their latest KIVVA version could function in the real world. 

Rule 2: Discard All Rules Provided Into The Blue Trash Bin In Your Room. Make sure you memorize this set of rules before tossing it away as well. When exiting your room for the final time, ensure all items you want to ‘manifest’ into the real world are inside the brown treasure chest. If you no longer desire some of the collected items, take them out and place them inside the blue trash can. When exiting your room, ensure all windows and doors are locked properly and press the LIGHT BLUE and GREEN buttons outside your room. You may no longer enter your room.

Rule 3: Walk Over To The Check-Out Booths In The Hotel Main Lobby By The Designated Time. In the real world, your time slot on Vallecera Island ends at 02:00:00 EST. In Vallecera Island Time, your time slot will end at 12:00:00 on your seventh day. You must no longer be in VALLECERA by this time. If you have not been checked out by 12:00:00, you will lose connection to your physical body, resulting in your mind getting ‘lost’ permanently. 

As such, we recommend you arrive at the Check-Out Booth no later than 11:15:00. If a member of your party had difficulties when entering VALLECERA (i.e. failing to load in on time), we suggest coming even earlier. Do not remove your wristband before arriving at the Check-Out Booth. It is crucial for exiting Vallecera Island.

Rule 4: Head To The Hotel Main Lobby No Matter What. It’s best to stay together with your party when leaving. However, if you are separated from the rest of your party, continue to the Hotel Main Lobby. If an island-wide emergency occurs within three hours before your Check-Out time, disregard Rule 13 of the [Basic Rules] and run to the Check-Out Booth. The workers will rush to ensure you make it into the Load-Out Room. You will always be safe in the Load-Out Room.

Rule 5: Trust The Clerks At The Check-Out Booth. Their number one priority is to help you and your party arrive back into the real world safely. They always have the best intentions for you, so please wait patiently in line until it is your turn to be assisted. Do not panic if you believe you won’t get checked out before your time slot ends. If you followed all of the rules we had provided you correctly, you should have nothing to worry about.

The clerks will remove your wristband and ask you questions about your stay on Vallecera Island. You must answer each question to the best of your ability. Please be honest with listing all the individuals you have been acquainted with during your stay and discussing your conversations with them. If you have shared sensitive information (such as your address/city or contact information) at any point during your stay, you must inform us in case we need to prepare

We will ask you more questions, such as how you contributed during or after the Final World War, or if given the option, would you sacrifice all of your family members’ lives to save Valentino Ceracruz from execution? Remain level-headed and answer truthfully. If you find a question too invasive, please power through and cooperate anyway. We promise this will be over shortly. Once the questioning is over, you and your party will be led into an empty white room known as the Load-Out Room. Your stay on Vallecera Island will conclude here. We will surely miss you!

Rule 6: Contact Project VALLECERA In Case Of Any Problems. The order your party members reawaken in the real world should be in the same order as when your party first loaded into Project VALLECERA. If a member loaded into VALLECERA later than expected, they will also reawaken last. If anybody fails to wake up a minute after the supposedly last person OR the last person fails to wake up 2 minutes after the second-to-last person, please look at the color glowing on the front of their neck bracelet. 

Rule 6A: If the neck bracelet is flashing ORANGE, the person’s mind is in the middle of transferring back into their real body. Please stay calm and wait another two minutes before doing anything. If the person does not wake up within two minutes, please contact the Project VALLECERA emergency chatbot on their website immediately. The person’s mind may have gotten “lost” along the way. Have faith that we can bring them back into the real world.

Rule 6B: If the neck bracelet is glowing BLUE, the person’s mind is still on Project VALLECERA. A problem must have occurred when loading the individual out of the internet. Please contact the Project VALLECERA emergency chatbot on our website immediately. We will attempt to load the individual out again.

Rule 6C: If the neck bracelet is not displaying a color, the person’s mind is no longer online. It is common for certain guests to continue sleeping even after their minds have returned to their bodies. Give their body a gentle nudge and see how they will respond. If the person does not react, check their pulse. If you can not find a pulse, the person has most likely passed away. Perhaps their body could not handle the transitions between the physical and digital world. Or a KIVVA secretly had possession over the person’s avatar and they had “died” a long time ago. Due to the many possibilities of how this tragedy could have happened, Project VALLECERA will not take any responsibility for their death. It is not like the justice system could do anything to us these days. We will merely offer your party our condolences. May they rest in peace.

Rule 7: Place All Project VALLECERA Equipment Back Into The Cyan Box. Gently remove the bracelets from your neck and follow the list of instructions to place all items back into the box. Once the cyan box has been filled exactly as stated in the instructions, hide it in an inconspicuous indoor space (such as a closet). Ensure all items are inside the cyan box before resealing it. Due to the worldwide shortage of necessary components for our products and the rise in theft, we will not tolerate any items getting lost. A missing item will cost at best, 10K kuros, or at worst, your life. 

Rule 8: Wait Until A Project VALLECERA Agent Arrives To Retrieve The Cyan Box. It appears your time slot unfortunately ends in the middle of the night. Your party will have to designate one member to stay awake until one of our agents comes to your residence. Agents typically arrive within hours but could take days due to… circumstances. Until then, all party members can not leave. Lights in the housing unit must be turned off and everyone should refrain from making loud noises. You do not want unwelcomed individuals to know that you are home... 

Rule 9: If Your Doorbell Rings, Prepare Yourself. These days, you can never be too trusting. More often than not, it will be a VALLECERA agent, wearing our signature shade of muddy green, standing in front of the door. However, there has been an uptick in incidents where BARKEKIVVAN soldiers were able to track down the homes of our guests to steal our technology. These agents are relentless and will do anything to get what they want. Too many of our guests and agents have been assassinated during such tragedies, and we can’t afford any more casualties.

If somebody’s at the front door, please get a hold of the most dangerous weapon you can find (preferably a gun if you know how to handle it) and quietly wait by the side of the door. If the person on the other side is indeed a VALLECERA agent, they will ring or knock on the door once again. Do not move. After 10 seconds, listen for the special knock pattern for your hotel room: 7 Slow Knocks. Still, do not answer the door. Only lower your weapon and open the door once the agent says “Room Service Has Arrived.” The agent will always follow these instructions perfectly. If there are any slip-ups, assume the person at the door is not a VALLECERA agent. 

Although we advise against it, you may look through the peephole to confirm your suspicions of who is on the other side. If it is someone you recognize, remain silent and do not let them in no matter the reason for why they came. If you suspect the person to be a member of BARKEKIVVA, remain silent in hopes the BARKEKIVVAN soldier(s) will eventually leave or our agent will be able to exterminate them. If the person(s) breaks into your housing unit anyway, do not run away. Try your best to kill them. Never hold back. No matter what, you can not let “them” get their hands on the cyan box.

Rule 10: Give The Cyan Box To The VALLECERA Agent. When the VALLECERA agent has entered your residence, do not be alarmed if the agent has a weapon aimed at you and your party. Our agent will not fire if you promptly take the cyan box out of the hiding spot and hand it to them. Do not interact with the agent in any other way. Do not waste time and cause the agent to overstay their welcome. They must always be on the go: for their safety and yours. 

Rule 11: Always Keep Your Guard Up. Once the VALLECERA agent leaves, never open the door for anyone else for the rest of the day. Party members may leave the housing unit once a few hours have passed. However, we encourage party members to never travel alone and carry a weapon on them at all times. 

Even as the likelihood of being targeted by BARKEKKIVVA may decrease each day, remain cautious of who you become acquainted with. Whether it is the new neighbor across the street or a friend you’ve known for thirteen years, you will never know who they align themselves with or their true intentions. BARKEKKIVVA’s numbers are growing. BARKEKKIVVA is everywhere, and BARKEKIVVA is desperate. You must never appear vulnerable to them. Not even for a second. 

Rule 12: Check Your Emails For Updates From Team VALLECERA. If you have placed items inside the brown treasure chest, you will be asked to pay online through a link in our upcoming emails. The items will be shipped to your location within 30-60 business days.

Due to the high demand for a vacation at Vallecera Island Resort, there will be a hold for all party members from booking a reservation. Because your party stayed on Vallecera Island for 6 days, the hold will be lifted in 3 months. In the meantime, feel free to write us a review and offer feedback on ways to improve Vallecera Island Resort! If you are feeling generous, please donate to us via the donation link at the top of our emails. Recommend trustworthy friends and family to take a trip to Vallecera Island! And most importantly, survive. We need numbers to stay strong and reach an even brighter tomorrow. So stay alive and always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good. Always believe in the side of good….

Thank you for visiting Vallecera Island, and we hope to see you again very soon!

8 Comments
2024/11/17
03:59 UTC

38

Guide to surviving school bathrooms

Ah, you just couldn’t hold it in. You must have had to go during class, and hopefully your teacher let you come here. Here are some rules I have found out over the years of coming to this forsaken place:

1: Avoid the condemned stalls.

You will know if a stall is condemned or not when you see one. Avoid stalls with toilets that don’t work, or any clear warning signs of a stall not being usable. I saw brown stuff splattered all over the walls in a stall once!

2: Always wash your hands.

Come on. This is just basic manners, and why wouldn’t you? It’s clean, and if people found out you didn’t, there would be a 6 ft. (or around 2 meters for europeans) gap between you and the nearest person at all times.

4: Women’s bathrooms

Because I am not a woman, I do not know what happens in the women’s bathrooms. From what I have heard though, a lot of the dangers in the men’s room also occur there, but not as severe. Also, apparently there is blood in some of the stalls, so I guess murders frequently happen in there.

5: If you see a tall shadowy figure behind you in the mirror, stop taking hallucination-inducing mushrooms, you fucking idiot.

6: If you see a mysterious grown man in a hoodie, that’s Janitor Jim. He spends most of his time in the cafeteria and hallways, so he rarely ever comes here.

7: Keep an eye on the time.

Time seems to go faster here for whatever reason, so make sure you look at the time every now and then. Once you are done using the bathroom, check if the period you were last in ended or not. If not, yay! You can go back to class in no sweat! If it did, you might be sent to the office and the Nintendo 3DS in your room will mysteriously disappear :(

I hope this guide finds you well, and I hope you have a satisfactory time here. See you soon!

4 Comments
2024/11/14
13:53 UTC

48

Pleasure is a curse

Have you ever felt like the world has been bleak and depressing lately? Well, good. Keep up that attitude. At first, whenever depressed people would feel truly happy or fulfilled, terrible things would happen to them, such as being hit by a car, or having a loved one so important or close to them die, causing them to commit suicide. There were 15,000 individual cases of this in 2022 alone, and over 1,200,000 last year. Recently, these cases have been getting more blatant, such as victims’ heads exploding, or spontaneous combustion to optimistic individuals. Here are some ways to shield yourself from the dangers of positivity:

1: Make yourself guilty

Have you ever done something that you regret so terribly that you would sell your soul to reverse it? Good. Think about all the things that have kept you up at night, or the terrible, terrible doings that you can’t seem to let go of. The more just merely thinking about it makes you flinch, the better. Do you have a loving family? Plenty of colateral. Does the school a few blocks away from your house happily exist and function? Why keep it that way? The heavy, infamous “oh lord, what have I done?” feeling is very good at blocking out positive emotions.

2: Be afraid

Be afraid of anything you can. Fear is an emotion that developed over millions of years in multiple species as a guardrail to prevent catastrophe. In this case, we are using it for its intended purpose and to protect us from, well, It. Sorry, i’ll try to think of a more creative name.

3: Beware of those around you

Is someone you know being overly positive? If so, that is not them. If it really was them, they would be long dead by now. To get rid of them, chant the words “The endless, cold, dark void shall flood every crevice of my mind. The suffering that is existence will prevail, and it is hopeless to delay it.” Whatever was mimicking your lost loved one will show its true form and slowly melt away into a liquid. To prevent these creatures from spreading or reproducing, take the liquid, boil it, mix whatever is left with baking soda, and sprinkle it outside. This mixture should be poisonous to other mimicking creatures. The correct poisonous mixture should smell like rotten eggs and lemon juice.

4: Accomplish as little as possible

Have you ever wanted to be an astronaut? Have you ever wanted to sail the stars, or experience zero gravity? If so, take that dream and throw it out the window. Even if you don’t have the most ambitious goal in the universe, don’t do it. When you finish a task, you get a dopamine burst. Dopamine is a reward chemical, and in this case, the reward is dying in the weirdest way possible. Also, serotonin, Oxytocin, and all those other reward chemicals are also dangerous.

I hope this guide finds you well, and I hope you have a very miserable rest of your life. Good luck surviving!

12 Comments
2024/11/14
03:26 UTC

Back To Top