Hi everybody,

I am asking for your advice on how to handle my misbehaviour and drug abuse. A little about who I am:

I'm a 25 y/o white Danish transfeminin queer person from Copenhagen. I have been in addiction since I was 15. Recently I have been called in for a variety of oppressive and abusive patterns and specific instances of me being anything else than a comrade/accomplice/ally by people I care for. I have the outmost respect for their analysis of me and my behaviour, as well as for their decisions, which includes having banned me from my former living collective. I have been told that an accountability process will be started. I now really wish to improve myself, and for the first time in my life i wish to get sober.

I have hurt people through internalized homophobia and transphobia, and I have also behaved racist, anti-black, classist, sexist, been predatory in my approach to sex and the like, whilst also being told that I manipulate those around me so as to reach my own goals (mostly inadvertently so) and that I have mishandled being told throughout the last year that I have behaved problematically. All in all, I have a lot of work ahead of me and I need to take accountability.

I've grown up in an owning class family, and I have struggled with my mental health my whole life. I have diagnosed schizotypal disorder, I am sure I have ADHD (in the process of getting it diagnosed) and it is likely that I also have personality disorder of some sort in the likes of narcissistic/sociopathic/psychopathic personality disorder (at least multiple therapists have suggested it). I have spent more awake hours under the influence of something than sober since I was 17. I have not gone more than 6-7 days of being sober, since I was 15. I do not know what it means to be myself, without seeking relief from pain.

I have mostly abused hash throughout the last 10 years (smoking between a joint as the minimum everyday for the last eight years but most of the time probably around 1.5-2 grams of hash everyday), I have also spent a year as an alcoholic (drinking between 50-70 units pr. week), and the last year I have had an abusive intake of ketamin, but mostly of 3mmc. The last two months I have probably taken just short of 30 grams of 3mmc. All in all, I have sought to escape reality.

As mentioned, I am starting the accountability process, I am planning a longer stay in rehab and I also want to work independently on getting sober and improving myself and my health, but also to improve how it is to be around me. I am therefore asking for advice and recommendations for books, movies, music, podcasts etc... so as to help me get sober, right my wrongs and learn and how to undergo an accountability process.

In advance, thank you.

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I became involved in RJ as a volunteer mediator with a political organization I was involved in about 3 years ago. Since then, I've completed several RJ trainings, certifications, and most recently, attended the NACRJ Conference in DC in July.

I've also been working as a virtual facilitator, on a sporadic part-time basis, for the past two years. I've co-facilitated one in person conference and am involved with a restorative organization in Baltimore attempting to gain more facilitation experience.

My full time job is working as a paralegal for a non-profit. But I've been in the legal field for almost 7 years and would very much like to make a change. I feel that lots of my interpersonal, administrative, and intake skills gained as a paralegal translate well into the RJ field.

Ideally, I'd love to work as a restorative facilitator full-time, in either a school, legal, or nonprofit setting, making at least $70K annually. I'm a writer and tarot reader and would love to pursue these hobbies on the side as side gigs.

Is this a realistic endeavor to pursue? From what I've seen, the hub for RJ work seems to be either in NYC or California. I've noticed more positions popping up in the DMV area but they're few and far between.

Can I realize these goals in the DMV area or would it be worthwhile to consider moving to another city? I've lived in Baltimore my entire life and feel like I would be ripe for a change of scenery.

Also, what is the best way to gain experience in the field? It's very difficult to find available RJ positions that pay the salary I'm seeking (at least in the DMV area). Should I remain in the legal field until I find the right position and try to gain more experience through the part-time RJ work?

Thank you in advance for your advice and insight!

hi! Wondering if there’s any folks working in ed? How’s your experience? What does your day look like?

Hi everyone! I'm making a documentary about restorative justice in the UK. I'm looking for stories and people to speak to about my research, based in the UK. My aim is not to sensationalise the crime, but focus on the healing and humans behind the incident involved. I also want to add I am approaching this with serious awareness around safeguarding and will be following the advice of organisations I'm speaking to when making the film. I look forward to hearing your stories or any you may have come across :) Thanks so much

To explain my question, let's start with a hypothetical.

Alice is piloting an aircraft with Bob as a passenger. The aircraft encounters an ice storm. Alice tries her best to maintain control of the aircraft but she is unable to. The aircraft crashes and Bob is severely injured. The crash is investigated by the appropriate governmental authorities (police, air traffic safety board, etc.), who determine that Alice is not at fault for the accident - she was fully qualified to fly the plane, she was not impaired, and she did everything she could reasonably have done under the circumstances to avoid or prevent the crash. Despite this determination, Alice is overcome with guilt and agrees to a Restorative Justice circle with Bob.

How would RJ approach this kind of situation? On the one hand, Alice unquestionably caused serious harm, and arguably it might be just for Alice pay a portion of her assets or income to Bob or for her to volunteer as part of a project to improve air safety beyond the current standard, but she didn't commit the harm out of malice, ignorance, irresponsibility, addiction, or mental illness, and doesn't have any clear "issues" to work on such as anger management, responsibility acceptance, addiction treatment, improving behavior to meet the social standard, etc., that many perpetrators work on in RJ. None of the typical social services offered by local governments and charities are likely to be helpful for Alice. She doesn't need literacy/GED training, she doesn't need job training or a referral to a job placement program, doesn't need transitional housing, doesn't need a bed in drug rehab, etc.

I do know that RJ can be applicable when a person has been found Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity (NGRI) of an offense in which harm was inflicted. For example, if Alice crashed the plane as a result of an acute psychotic episode that she could not reasonably have predicted, she would likely be found NGRI for the crash but able to work on identifying psychosis triggers, taking her medication faithfully as prescribed, agreeing to turn in her pilot's license until she was stabilized on antipsychotic medications, etc. in her RJ plan. She does not need to accept legal responsibility for the crash, because she is not legally culpable, but she does have some moral responsibility to work on her mental illness so that more people are not injured as a result of it. I am asking about a situation where the Not Guilty finding is because the harm really was an unfortunate accident, what the normal (coercive) justice system refers to as an "Act of God" - a situation where harm results but there is no person to hold legally responsible for that harm. Is RJ still applicable or would you say that RJ is not appropriate if there is not at least some moral culpability to accept?

The RJ practices operating in my local area only take cases where a governmental authority (courts or the public school system) have already found culpability and the RJ referral is essentially an act of mercy in which the authority agrees not to pursue the case if the "perp" completes RJ satisfactorily, so I can't see them ever taking a case similar to my hypothetical.

I am at the very beginning of going through a restorative justice process (as the harmed person) with my parents regarding harm that occurred throughout my childhood.

I sought out an RJ program because I wanted a way to repair those relationships and have met my lovely convenors and am beginning the preparation.

I am looking for other people who have gone through RJ processes specifically for family or domestic violence- I am struggling to find resources, stories, people with lived experiences doing this process and would love to find some peers who have gone through this process with family or loved ones as I feel like it has its unique challenges and considerations!

If not, if people know of resources or websites that have stories from people with lived experience of family violence RJ I would love for those to be shared :))

how was your experience? what tips/advice do you have for someone in that role? books/podcasts etc

Hello! I'm trying to become a restorative practices coordinator, eventually making it into the Chicago Public School system, because after lots of career exploration this is the one that's reall calling me. I've unfortuantely been in a small business that's in recruiting, very corporate-like setting that has nothing to do with RJ. I've done mutual aid, some activism work/research, and i have all that on my resume. I had an interview with a non-profit with a focus on trauma-informed care, but it was not successful. All the jobs need work with inner city youth or experience working with troubled/traumatized youth, and I've also been trying to find volunteer work that would be applicable. If I switch to a case manager role or something similar I'm dropping $5k-$10k from my current salary and I absolutely cannot survive on that. I am trying to do RJ research on my own, and thankfully my current role is secure so that is not an issue, but I really want to dive into this field so badly. I feel I can make an impact here it's just so hard to get the experience. Where did you guys get your experience? I do have a bachelor's in psychology, so I have relevant knowledge and understanding of trauma and ethics and whatnot, but that seems to mean nothing to these non-profits and companies. Would love some ideas on where to get the appropriate experience without beginning to ride the poverty line.

Restorative Justice advice

Hi, I’m thinking about emailing my perpetrators and the teacher I told (who did fucking nothing about it) telling them the effect their actions had on me, and how much it’s fucked me up. I’m really not looking for revenge or retribution, just an apology.

However, here’s the issue. My perpetrators definitely knew that they were making me upset and uncomfortable, but I don’t know if they know it was SA bc cognitive dissonance can be a bitch. I personally would be absolutely suicidal if someone told me that I’d assaulted them, like I might genuinely kms. However, I do suffer from OCD and severe anxiety so I realise that other people probably wouldn’t react as strongly as I would to information like that. So I’m worried about emailing them to try to get a reply bc I don’t want to badly affect their mental health. Has anyone had experience of this/know how to broach this topic with someone without feeling like you’re destroying them? I really need an apology from them, I feel like it would help so much but I don’t wanna make them feel suicidal or anything.

Also I’m secretly worried that I wasn’t actually SAed and that I’m just being overdramatic or making things up, so if it’s alright would someone be able to let me know their thoughts on this? Basically when I was 12 a group of girls used to regularly try to touch my boobs. One day I was in the changing room and the attacked me- they groped my boobs and tried to finger me. I managed to escape and run away. Does this count as SA tho? And since they were so young, is it really even relevant any more or fair for me to contact them about it?

There was a question a while back (https://www.reddit.com/r/restorativejustice/comments/1162c16/does_rj_depend_on_laws/) on whether Restorative Justice (RJ) can be administered if no law was violated. The answer seems to be yes in theory, but very little additional information was provided.

I'm looking for resources to read about the administration of RJ when no legal violation or legally- punishable wrongdoing has occurred. This could happen when laws have not been updated to keep up with social reality, or perhaps even in cases where the laws or legal system itself is unjust, such as in totalitarian countries or areas without strong individual rights. It may also happen in cases where there is strong disagreement on what the law should be, for instance regarding abortion rights or the rights of or legal recognition of transgender people.

Examples:

- John has recently been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of experiencing corporal punishment from his father in childhood. The matter has been reported to and investigated by Child Protective Services (CPS) and the local police, both of which have determined that what John's father did, while perhaps unfortunate, did not meet the legal definition of child abuse in the applicable jurisdiction and thus no charges in criminal or family court will be sought (or as an alternative, John's father was formally charged with child abuse but found not guilty by a court because his actions did not meet the applicable statutory definition of child abuse). John accepts this, but decides he would like to engage a restorative justice practitioner to hold a conference with his father, where John can tell his father how much he hurt him and ask for a heartfelt apology and help paying for therapy.

- Alice has an abortion without the consent of the father of the fetus, Bob, in a jurisdiction in which this is lawful. No laws have been broken, so the police and courts have no reason to get involved, but Bob feels personally harmed and oppressed (emotional trauma and related harm) by the loss of his child and hires a restorative justice practitioner to arrange an extralegal RJ conference with Alice. Alice decides to attend the conference, but surprises Bob and his RJ practitioner by bringing her own RJ practitioner along with a request for Bob to apologize and make amends to Alice for trying to control her body through RJ. The parties stand in opposition to each other and it is unclear who is the primary offender or even who has harmed whom. Since no laws have been violated, neither party has recourse to the courts or legal system to label one or the other as an "offender", "perp", or "criminal". Now, obviously, Alice and Bob's relationship is pretty much dead at this point, but the question remains how an RJ practitioner would decide who has harmed whom and what an appropriate RJ outcome would be.

Discussion:

One obvious problem with basing an RJ case off of harm not recognized in law is deciding what exactly should constitute recognized harm in an RJ setting and what falls under those ordinary slights and inconveniences that are part of living in this world, but that seems like it could be worked through. One concern I would have is the potential that, with RJ practice uncoupled from legal definitions of harm and victimization, a chilling effect could be cast over people's behavior - for example, an act I myself commit that is perfectly legal could be retroactively considered harmful by an RJ practitioner and result in a victim requesting an RJ conference with me. While, of course, I would be free to just refuse to participate in such a conference (as RJ is supposed to be voluntary), it might feel awkward or hypocritical of me to do so while also championing extralegal RJ practice.

I also know that the majority of RJ practices (including, as far as I can tell, all of the ones in my area) are funded through the criminal justice system and thus only take referrals when laws have been violated, but I'm interested in reading about practices where this is not the case.

I am interested in theory, but especially about practical aspects of running such an RJ practice, including how harm is defined if not by the presence of a violation of law, when a case should be accepted vs rejected, and how such practice is funded without a referral and a promise of funding from the local criminal justice system.

I am wondering if there are any ongoing virtual community circles offered anywhere? I am doing lots of work with RJ but the missing link for me is I’m not currently in restorative practice with people. I miss being in community in this way and where I live now does not have any local opportunities. I know NACRJ occasionally hosts. Anyone else?

One feature of essentially all models of restorative justice (RJ) that I've encountered is that they only start after the person who has caused harm ("offender") has admitted their actions and accepted responsibility, and this typically only after they have first been adjudicated guilty by the non-restorative criminal court system or a proxy, such as a formal school disciplinary panel, parole board, or other formal non-RJ body.

I'm curious if there are any models of RJ that include the fact-finding process of guilt, allowing a disputed case to proceed entirely through RJ without involving non-RJ bodies or processes. For example, here's a hypothetical:

- Racist graffiti is discovered on a wall. After an initial investigation, it appears that the graffiti writer was either Bob, Jill, Sue, or Dave. All four of them decline to admit responsibility, but agree to take part in a community RJ circle to determine what, if anything, needs to be done to restore community harmony. The local criminal justice system either agrees not to prosecute or formally diverts the case to RJ pending a favorable RJ outcome. The RJ circle meets, interviews witnesses, analyzes physical evidence, and correlates it all using expanded rules of evidence not typically allowed in a criminal court but congruent with RJ. The circle determines that Jill drew the graffiti as a result of internally-held bias, and recommends that she clean up the graffiti and attend 20 hours of anti-racism seminars. Jill may or may not "confess" at this point, but accepts the determination of the circle and agrees to perform the tasks it has assigned her. The circle sets a date two months in the future to monitor her progress. The local criminal justice system marks the case as resolved without charges. Everyone goes forth rejoicing that the system works and no one has to go to jail or end up with a criminal record.

Does this model exist anywhere in theory or practice? If so, where can I read about it?

I do understand that most programs today for training new RJ practitioners don't go into depth on evidence and investigation (e.g. DNA testing, fingerprinting, tire track measurement, blood splatter analysis, forensic linguistics, etc.), but that doesn't mean that there couldn't be such a program in the future designed to train RJ practitioners who intend to take on adjudication.

Addendum:

I do realize that RJ, as a non-coercive process that requires buy-in from the accused, cannot fully replace existing coercive (non-RJ) justice systems. Generally speaking, the accused saying "I didn't do it" halts the RJ process. I'm asking about a model where the RJ process could continue from "I didn't do it", where the accused is given an opportunity to show that they didn't do it and therefore shouldn't have to restore anything, and where if the RJ panel finds them responsible anyway, they can choose to either accept that finding and move forward (plan restoration activities) or have their case transferred to the coercive justice system (criminal court, etc.) that has the legal power to incarcerate or fine the accused without their consent.

Hey all!

Curious if such a thing would exist anywhere: I'm looking for transcripts of peacemaking circles, ideally in a first nations setting (but not necessary). Either an official document, like produced by a court... or in some kind of academic case study. Or anywhere else honestly!

Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

Dear Friends in Faith,

For who among you does not depend on the "meaning of words?" This post is about the sanctimony and sanctimoniousness of ideals. For everyone involved in a legal approach has goals, not necessarily their own, but necessarily by their own interpretation. True justice cannot exist without common, explicable standards. Relying on common law indicates a technicality-infused legal system; one we turn away from. Disclaimer: my critical question is no critique of anyone's content, nor is it yet a critique of any ideology.

With respect and deference to their goals, consider feminism and panafricanism. I believe the cultural struggle regarding 'how much equality is too much' stems from the combination of two reactions--neither of which are wrong on their own. Firstly, idealists of any stripe acknowledge (non-ideal-blatant) inequality and, ascribing offense, take a stance against it. Second, without establishing a common landing strip for our intended approach (in violent language, the offenders), we can get into a sustained landing pattern. On their own these would represent (1) evaluation and (2) philosophical speculation. By putting them together I believe we enter into a cognitively dissonant dual-questioning state, in which we can lose sight of our own values and maintain a state of striving. Social justice movements compete thereby for gains. By participating in unjust systems they end up marginalizing everyone but the monthly spectacular state-sponsored pride subscription, which is potentially a token for success or a scapegoat for failure. What do you think?

Either way, imperfection creates inequalities, and the options for philanthropists, which marginalized community to support, are as many as precariat populations to imbalance. You can say we neglect class, but even there I would say we are requiring systems of self-interest to navigate ourselves, and therefore our legal systems. Our problem is philosophical, and addressing this will improve our legal approach. Any split-brains regarding inequality and the limits of 'prosperity' speed up elitism within marginalized groups: in this way idealism becomes a mechanism for marginalization. For our purposes, I will label our relevant antagonist as 'retributive justice.'

Any imbalances result from the sustained landing pattern: ideologies fail to land because of their reactivity. This reactivity shows itself in groups via individuals. So I would like to ask the individuals here: what makes you think that your approach will land? To what degree do you account for established justice? What do you intend to restore? Finally, the real kicker: how much has looking into the void of "forgivable crime" opened options that skirt the standards of common sense?

Good luck!

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Hi all!

Curious your thoughts here-- I am wondering if there is a place for RJ within the criminal legal system for sexual offenses and intimate partner violence.

Right now, it exists, though rare, outside of the criminal legal system. As someone who experienced a decade of sexual harm as a child, I would like accountability through a criminal process, but would want a RJ option. Because I don't have this option, I have done nothing because the cost of going through a facilitation is 4-6K from one proposal I have so far. I also learned that VAWA's pilot program for restorative practices specifically carves out of funding anyone who has a pending prosecution which does not make sense to me (statue here: https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/34/12514)

Curious your thoughts about this question and any resources you may think helpful to my learning. Thanks in advance.

Posting from a throwaway.

I'm sorry if this isn't the right place to ask this, but my social circle has recently been caught up in some major sexual assault-related issues that I have no idea how to begin to address. I'm seeking advice from people who are practiced with engaging restorative justice policies, but I'm not sure where the best place would be to talk about the situation and ask for this advice would be. I thought this subreddit might be a good place to start since it's centered on discussions about restorative justice as a whole. Can anyone direct me to the right place (either a sub or a forum on a different website)? Or would it be okay for me to post my question in this sub?

I teach a restorative justice class in college, an elective one (which means I get students from different majors: law, medicine, engineering, etc.), but recently I feel I have the wrong approach: too many texts, too much theory and people doesn't engage well.

I'm thinking about turning the class more to an "experience", in hopes to foster abilities and attitudes necessary for the application of retorative practices in daily life, leaving the theorical aspect to a minimum, and the most dense material for those who want to dive deeper. So, for example, I want to work in empathy, asertive communication and so on, but that would require a lot of different kinds of dinamics, games and activities throughout the semester

Could you recommend me activities or point me to somewhere were I could look for ideas?

Circle conversations are great for maintaining relationships in the class room. The circle brings to community together, explores new guidelines for the class and gives everyone a voice. To learn more about it I will be talking more on my podcast Counselor Apprenticeship.

I'm sure this is a basic question but I'm curious - can someone outline the potential outcomes when a victim refuses to participate in a circle?

Can it happen without the victim? Or does that nullify the whole prospect of RJ for the case/offender?

This question is directly inspired by the recent question Does RJ depend on laws? I was thinking about potential RJ cases where no law was broken and that got me thinking whether there is a limit on what kinds of lawful harm can be the subject of RJ. For example, if you beat me in a game of chess, no competent RJ facilitator is going to buy my argument that I suffered the harm of "checkmate" and am thus in need of an RJ conference to facilitate the healing and restoration of my rooks and bishops. If I leave a religious movement, no RJ facilitator will take the case that my ceasing to pay tithes to that movement is a wrong that can be remedied by RJ. I can post whatever political messages I want in my window without worrying that my neighbors are going to call the local RJ practitioner to stage an intervention for me. Most RJ practitioners would not take a case in which someone was accused of voting against a powerful politician or "offending" a bully.

Is there a list or framework of harms that are deemed by RJ to not be in scope for the kinds of harm that RJ deals with regardless of whether said harms are/were legal where committed?

If there are actual cases that you've seen where someone was clearly harmed, but that harm was deemed to be not a kind of harm recognized in RJ, I'm interested in hearing about how it was decided that the harm wasn't relevant to RJ.

Now clearly, punching someone in the face, stealing their stuff, slashing their tires, setting their dog on fire, or waking them up every morning at 3 AM with a megaphone are things that might be handled in RJ, but those things are already illegal in most, if not all, places.