I’ve noticed a trend of women proudly claiming “oh XYZ doesn’t even NOTICE other women ahahahaha”. Like “they flirt with him and he doesn’t even realise!”. Also reels about how you know your man would never cheat on you cos he’s into gaming or something.

Reality check. Heterosexual red blooded men absolutely do notice attractive women. Maybe they don’t do it when you’re around or maybe they just hide it well. Pretending he’s an asexual Buddhist monk ain’t gunna change that lol.

Is it to reduce fears? Feel in control? Be less insecure?

It’s not a topic I discuss with my husband and he’s given me no cause to think he’s got a wandering eye but I’m by no means deluding myself that he doesn’t notice attractive women in his daily life.

EDITED TO ADD: the point of this post is to bring light to this, and encourage women who might feel like this to stop tying themselves up in knots about it and trying to control the situation. Just focus on your relationship and your own confidence.

Hi everyone,

I'm a 19 year old girl and in my teenage years I made bad choices leading to a body count of 10. I wasn't thinking about my future, but now that I'm getting older, I really want to have a traditional relationship. I'm dating a guy that is very traditional, leaning on red pill. and I actually like this dynamic, but I'm worried that there is no hope for me because of my past. I get angered easily and I feel like I'm just constantly making mistakes and can't give him what he wants, even though I want to. I want to be more feminine and soft spoken and gentle, but he just makes me so angry sometimes and I lose it. So I'm scared I won't be able to fix it. He knows about my body count and I know it bugs him and pisses him off, but he loves me a lot. It's just caused a lot of issues for us, especially because I lied about the number for the first three months of our relationship out of fear of him leaving over it. Please if anybody has any advice on how I can make him feel better about me, how to control my anger, how to be a better girl, and ultimately if there's even any hope for me. I really love this man and I want it to work so bad. I'm so upset with myself. TIA

I’m 22/f and am in college, the last time I had a boyfriend was when I was 18. I’ve had flings here and there, but it eventually goes sour most of the time. After a particularly horrible experience, I decided to go nun mode indefinitely. However there is one thing I cannot understand….

most of my recent and serious conflicts within the past two years have been with MEN. Bc of the setting I’m in, it is similar to a highschool and It includes them ruining my name, telling other people not to befriend to socially isolate me/ seek revenge against me like highschool girls. It’s gotten to the point where I am going back and forth with these men verbally on occasions

I feel so weird bc no other woman around me has these problems. Like I am constantly competing against them or at odds with them. Ofc, this spills into my romantic life HEAVILY. I just don’t understand why other women are upheld by these men and treated so softly? These very same guys will say I am very attractive but there is none of that chivalry I see they give to other women.

Btw, I barely have these problems with women. It’s actually usually a woman defending me against a man.

I’m a 23 year old young woman who graduated college last December. Just before I finished school, my grandmother had a stroke that left her unable to walk or talk and essentially needing full time care so I took on the role of caregiver alongside my mother. Sadly, she passed away last month, and alongside grief, I’m now feeling the pressure to figure out my next steps, especially work wise.

For context, I live with my parents and two younger sisters, and I love being with my family. I don’t plan to move out until marriage, as my dad owns his own business and has supported me financially and it works for my family and I that I’m home and have taken on the responsibilities of our household (laundry, cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, etc). Ultimately, my dream is to be a stay at home mother/homemaker, and my mom and I have called this season that I’m in my “preparation season”. But as I think about dating, I sometimes feel insecure about not having a job outside of my home or living my life as most other women my age are. Has anyone else felt this way, and do you have any advice on navigating these feelings on dating or conversations with potential partners?

I've somewhat recently moved back to my home town after suspending studies from University, and since made contact with an old friend. We hung out a lot in middle school, he did ask me out, but I made it clear I wasn't interested and nothing happened. We stayed friends for awhile after that, and I know he's had some relationships since then, so that seems in the past. But then again, he did have a crush on me for a long time in primary school, which is why I'm a bit weary probably, he was also the one to reach out.

Onto the possible red flag.

After we met up for a late coffee, he blurted out over text that he's into cross-dressing. He's always been kinda high energy and not really socially aware, you could say we were the 'weird kids' tbh. I think he was just anxious to know my reaction, which is why he brought it up out of nowhere. But I can't decide if it's strange he brought up what is probably a fetish so soon, my gut says yes I'll be honest.

I know cross-dressing can be done for other reasons, but he's definitely not transgender or non-binary, and from the way he described it he likes the thrill of going out wearing mini skirts and things. That was one outfit he described, again very soon after our first meet up in years.

I guess I'm just worried he'll get weird at some point, and telling me these things is him kind of testing the waters. It would be a shame since I don't have many friends around here, but I think I'd just let him go if that happened.

Ladies, how long is a good time for the engagement period in your opinion ? How long would be too long ?

What was your personal experience and your reflection on it if any ?

I had a discussion with my significant other about this and he was talking about a 2 year period.
My idea of it was more of a one year period but I cas see both pros and cons of either.

Edit for more context :

in my culture, we have both the traditional wedding and the white wedding.
1 year time would mean about 6 months before traditional and then 6 more months until the white wedding.

2 years time would mean about 6-8 months before traditional and then about 1,5 year until the white wedding.

23 (F) have been dating my bf for one year now, 25 (M)… we went on a trip recently and I snooped around his phone and basically found out that he vented/talked to his ex (27F) once back when we were just dating for 5 months. I saw that he blocked her after and had no contact since. I have always been insecure about his ex since they were together for 6 years (on and off) so the fact that I saw they talked made me upset at that moment and it’s been stuck in my head since.. i’m going in circles and need advice.

For some background, he was never serious about her and never wanted a serious committed relationship. She knew that he was seeing girls on the side (this was way before we met) and I also saw convos of him with his friends/sister on how he wasn’t serious about her. I always thought this was a red flag since how could he just string along someone like that for years.. His ex would vent to his sister a couple times and even his sister would tell her to move on since he can’t commit to her, so I guess it’s the ex gf’s fault for trying to make it work as well when she knew what he wanted from the start.

They talked on call so I don’t really know what their convo was about. However, she emailed him a long message after he blocked her saying how she wished they worked out and that she was really hurt by what happened to them before. And based on the message, they mostly talked about work (they are both in finance, i’m in healthcare) he never responded and that was it.

I then asked him if he was ever uncomfortable witj sharing/talking about certain stuff or things with me before and he said yes. He then said that he didn’t want to dump whatever issues/problems he has going on with him to me because he doesn’t want me to view him as “weak”. He wants to solve his issues on his own and wants me to see that he’s good. So, I connected the dots together and went back to our convo the same day that he talked to his ex, he was telling me that he was feeling down about work and been wanting to look for a new job. I just comforted him and gave some positive reassurance. But I guess he needed advice from someone in the same field ???

Other than that, I didn’t see anything else (compared to my exes before where I found a lot since I got cheated on a couple times).. I saw that he would talk about me and our relationship on how he’s serious and really likes me to his sister, friends and mom etc. I’m also the first one he took home to meet his parents/family. He talks about marriage and wanting to settle down with me.

But I guess it’s always going to be in the back of my head that he might run to her again to vent when something goes wrong. Whenever I would ask before if he still wanted to do anything with his past, he would say no since he was never serious about any of them. I guess I just doubt myself that sometimes he might not like me etc. but I try to stop overthinking from time to time. Since he opened up about how he was feeling before, I tried my best to help him get back on his feet and things are so much better now. He always thanks me for staying by his side and that he appreciates everything.

But still, I’m still worried that he might do it again behind my back and talk about things he can’t with me since they have a different bond. (This is how I see it since 6 years is a long time to be in someone’s life).

Am I just being crazy and insecure?

I, F21, have never had a man wanting to commit to me. I’ve been dating since I turned 18 and tried everything from dating apps to clubs.

I have stopped going clubbing 8 months ago since i started noticing that it’s pointless but every single time I have been to the club, I get approached multiple times. Even now, at work do I have men (that i’m attracted to) approaching me and asking me for my socials.

So in regards of SMV, i’m not lacking at all. I don’t dress promiscuous either yet it’s going well.

But somehow it’s ALWAYS (no single exception and i’ve had plenty of talking stages by now) the same pattern; they ask for my socials ➡️ they text me ➡️ they initiate the first date at a public setting ➡️ they always cover the expenses for the dates ➡️ they text me regularly with quick responses and ask me out on a second date.

That’s literally always how it goes and by date three (most of the time it doesn’t even get to that point), they get cold, distant, don’t ask me out on a further date and ghost.

Now to add to the title; whenever i’m getting to know a guy that i find physically attractive, I never show my true personality. I consider myself as a weird person so what i always do is never initiate a conversation, never talk about myself (unless they ask me because i’m instantly wired to think that they wouldn’t care about my hobbies or personal life anyway) and i just sit there all smiley hoping that they’ll continuously lead the conversation. I don’t even ask them about their life because in all honesty, I don’t even care. I just want to be in a relationship with a guy that i’m attracted to.

As I’ve already described the fake persona i’m putting on to seem normal, feminine and get a man to like me, that fake personality is boring. So could that be the reason men ALWAYS lose interest in me? And if that isn’t the reason, what am i doing wrong?

Edit: Forgot to mention how I look as that is a big criteria. Almost every single woman overrates herself due to constant positive feedback from other women but I even get told randomly on the street that i’m beautiful. My most received compliments are that i look like a doll/deer. On a brutal blackpilled looks scale, I’d put myself at 6/10, meaning above average (no, 7/10 isn’t average). I know that i’m not punching up either because Chads have NEVER approached me. The guys that do are looksmatched to me and men above average in looks are attractive to me.

It's been a while since my last post, so here's a big update.

Previously I was working as an entrepreneur. I wanted to set my own schedule and be my own "girl-boss". I worked as crazy hours as my boyfriend who is also self-employed for over 6 years. He told me he supports me and would be with me through this part of my life.

Well, after 2 years of my go-getter lifestlye my boyfriend asked me if I was happy because he could tell I wasn't. I confessed I'm happiest when I'm taking care of the home, baking or cooking, making our space a nice place to live and reading a good book at the end of the day.

I was scared that he wanted someone who could match his energy. Scared of how our relationship would change when I admited this. To my surprise, he just wanted me to be happy. He said he loves when I have food for him when he gets home and me making our space homey makes him want to rush home back to me.

We decided I'd get a regular job for now while he's building his business to get us our own place and start our life (engagement/marriage) which just wasn't possible when we were both "getting it out the mud".

A couple months later, and he told me in a moment of tenderness that he just wants to take care of me. In the months while I was finding a job (the market is insane for my industry) he refused to let me buy anything ever. He'd even get "upset" when I'd bring out cash and say "I'm taking care of you. Stop it."

I feel so blessed. I now am employed, but we have such a different dynamic than before. I feel like a princess in every day life. He takes such good care of me, and I him of course. The laundry is done. There is always food or treats. And I don't worry about a single bill or payment. Obviously, things will change again when I have a job, but he confessed to me last night he loves my submission. He finds it sexy and he loves when our roles are cemented in this way. He said he loves that he knows I am confident and can take charge but I trust him to do it and look at him with adoration.

All this to say, create the life you want with your person now. Establish the dynamic now. You'll see if you have the man of your dreams.

I'm blessed to say I absolutely do!

I read this article the other day (https://www.today.com/health/reason-why-men-marry-some-women-not-others-t74671) and thought it would be good discussion and maybe helpful to some single ladies on here

Summary:

•There is an age where men start to feel like marriage is a real possibility. For men who have a degree it can be 26, for men who graduated from high school it can be 23/24, for men who go to graduate school it will be a few years after they are done with education. The window of marriage is open for 4-6 years and after this the chances a man will marry drop every year after.

•A majority of college graduates 28-33 are in their high commitment phase

•After 38, the chances a man who has never married will ever marry drop dramatically. Around 42-43 many men are confirmed bachelors

•Men want a few years to sow their wild oats after finishing education. For a few years after graduation they are in low commitment phase

•Men enter the high commitment phase when they’re tired of the singles scene. The singles scene had lost some of its appeal and they were looking for the next step. A lot of men get tired of the singles scene and sometimes feel uncomfortable because the new attendees were much younger, and they were outgrowing the places they had frequented the last 5 years.

•However professional men still feel comfortable in the singles scene for a little while longer.

•Men who were balding or heavy wanted to get out of the singles scene much earlier. Women in the singles scene treat older-looking men in the scene as if they don’t belong, which drives the balding and heavy men away.

•It is not how old they are that makes men uncomfortable, it is how old they feel, or how old others make them feel.

•If a woman wants to know how ready a man is to marry, she should ask how much he enjoys the singles scene

•Men who have been married before are substantially more like to marry again than a man who has never married in his middle age

•If a woman in her 40s has never been married the most eligible bachelors are divorcees and widowers

•If you’re dating a man who has had one more long term relationships but didn’t marry them, he may be a stringer. He enjoys the benefits a committed woman brings but is not the marrying kind

•The “practise wife” - a man dates one woman for a long period of time, then after breaking up immediately marries another woman after a short period (controversial idea on here I know). The second woman insisted they commit early into the relationship. When you date a man, make your timeline clear.

•We ran across at least fifty men we could identify as stringers. They can be very dangerous. I estimate each one is responsible for at least two women remaining single. They are destructive because they con women into wasting their time during the years when they are most attractive and most likely to get a proposal.

•Men feel their biological clocks too

•They worry not about fathering a child, but being a father to a child. They want to be young and physically fit enough to bond with their son through sports and exercise, like teaching them how to fish, ride a bike, play ball etc.

•Men over 40 who are eager to have a son are more likely to marry

•Men in their late 30s/early 40s who had given up on the idea of marriage usually lacked either looks, height or social skills. They had been rejected so often they didn’t think they could find a woman who loved them

•A lot of these men said “if I could find a nice woman I’d marry her tomorrow”. So excessively shy, late 30s men could be good options

•However some men over 40 see a wife as a bad financial investment. They’ve built a nest egg, women only want what they can get out of a man etc. However the men who spoke this way often weren’t very successful themselves. These men are not the marrying kind

•If their parents divorced when they were young, men often say they don’t believe in marriage, romance ends once married

•Older men with parents who had a good marriage often say they are not ready to be married or they’re not the marrying type

•Men who live with their parents are less likely to marry than men who live by themselves

•Men who have never lived away from home are also less likely to marry than men who have lived at college or worked in a different city

•Men are more likely to marry if their friends have married in the last year.

•*More than 60 percent of the men we questioned coming out of marriage license bureaus told us they had a friend who had married within the last year.

this was supposed to be a summary but I basically rewrote the whole article, sorry! I guess it saves you clicking a link

any single ladies have any thoughts comments concerns? will this article change your strategy? I personally was surprised to see that men with degrees start thinking about marriage at 26, thats earlier than I would’ve thought (although the article is 8 years old). i usually have my age range on dating apps as 28-35 as a 25F but I think I’ll try 27-33 next time I try the apps. I did initially think the older the better but generally I find 34/35yo men pretty overbearing and we don’t get on that well personality wise. There’s lots of women my age who are attractive and also looking for marriage from 27-33yo men so RMV has to be very high. I’m also going to ask men how much they enjoy going out with the guys still, if they have a favourite spot etc. How else would you action some of the points listed?

I’m not at all surprised men who have married before are more likely to do so again, my dad is on his third marriage. The follow the pack point rings true for me too; two of my brother’s (29) friends have been engaged in this past year and my brother is starting to plan a proposal.

married women do any of these reflect your husband’s circumstances at the time?

it’s not a romantic story, but it worked out for me!

a few months ago, i posted here asking how to attract the right man. i had been ghosted by a guy I really liked, he was exactly my type, the most attractive man i’d ever met. people in the comments suggested I wasn’t attractive or couldn’t attract the kind of guy i wanted because i was dating above my league. it hurt, so I deleted the post, but i stuck with my belief that i deserved someone like him because you just can’t fake the chemistry we had. i moved on anyways because well what could i do?

i stopped dating completely because none of the men i was dating even compared to him. attraction, chemistry, the way he made me feel? no one made me feel like that. i felt as if i was just wasting my time.

four months later, he reached out to me and well 🤭 i recently visited him, we live in two different cities, and after a few incredible days, he asked me to be his girlfriend! it feels like a dream. i went from being ghosted by the most attractive guy i’ve ever met to being his girlfriend.

he’s the most beautiful, gentle, kindest man. when he ghosted me i let a lot of peoples opinions get to me and it sort of tainted the way i viewed him for a little while, i thought he was a horrible guy who just wanted to sleep with me and because i didn’t give in he ran but thankfully that wasn’t the case!

i’m going to treat him well and love him right and make sure he always feels respected and valued because i know he’d do the same for me. we haven’t said i love you yet but i’m positive it will come soon! i’m happy and i’m excited to use rpw teachings to have the most amazing relationship with him ☺️.

I work with a man in a senior role that I love dearly from the past 2.5 years. When I met him I wasn’t financially or physically in a state to be with someone like him and now I still have to work on my physical health. He did meet someone since and for some reason never talks about his partner with me although I do catch him mentioning it sometimes with the others at work. I assumed it was because maybe he knows I have feelings for him and he doesn’t want to hurt me by discussing it. And even though it would really hurt me to hear about it, earlier this year I tried to inquire if he was getting married soon (which he never denied or affirmed for me btw) and I’ve tried to ask him what his winter break plans are because I’m certain he may then I know a lot of people do around that time. He changed the topic and didn’t tell me his winter plans either.

But now get this. The other day out of the blue he mentions to me something about how thats the thing with marriage, it’s supposed to be for life and the only way it can be ended is if by death or divorce.

I’m curious is that a normal thing for a man to say? As a woman if I knew my fiancé was thinking such thoughts I’d be heartbroken, does he not want to get married maybe? He has shared his relationship history with me before which was a long string of 1 year long relationships which invariably ended because he didn’t want to get married. I worry he’s not ready for marriage at this point in his life and the fact that I also happen to be in love with him isn’t helping.

Hello everyone :)

I'm 23, F, living in the U.S. but originally from the Middle East (came here for college.) I graduated from college this May and broke up with my boyfriend of 2-years last year. I took a 6-month break from dating and started using dating apps in June but so far I haven't had much success and did some reflections recently.

I was at first very unsure about my career path: Since I'm not from the U.S., I need to get a green card and I aim to apply for the Einstein green card, meaning I will need to pursue higher education. I got into medical school last year but decided to not pursue that path as I realized that the lifestyle, regardless of the specialty I choose, will not align with my personal life goals which is raising my kids , at least in the first few years and focusing on my family. My parents were also both in the medical field and my mom very much regrets putting me in daycare since I was 8 months old - I hold no resentment towards her but would never ever want to do that to my kids as it put me through a lot of emotional turmoil as a child. I currently have a research job where I work in the hospital and this has been a great opportunity for me to see the day to day life of physicians and decide to not want to pursue the medicine path.

The other option for me is pursuing a PhD, which gives me more flexibility, is fully-funded, and will lead to a green card for me given the field I'm going into. I am planning on applying to graduate school this December.

My question is whether I'm ready to date seriously now. I have used the guides in this subreddit to vet men I go on dates with and I'm thankful for it. I take care of my appearance, develop my manners, etc. However, I feel my most important issue is that once men find out I'm in this unclear situation with my whereabouts, they back off and ask if I'm sure I will stay in this city, where I will be next year, etc.

My two questions are:

1. Does pursuing a PhD make me less desirable to masculine men? My goal is to build my family in the US and pursuing a PhD is the most logical path for me for staying in the US (there are faster pathways such as asylum or green card marriage but those do not align with my values) and research and teaching are what I enjoy doing and am good at. However, I have a lot of friends who are pursuing medicine and think I made a mistake by turning down medicine (I went to an extremely liberal Ivy League university in the northeast so we were always encouraged to postpone seeking a family, having children, etc and focus on our careers) and it makes me feel bad about myself sometimes
2. Given that I will not hear back from graduate schools until January, should I just pause going on dates for now? Or should I still go on first dates to practice vetting skills, etc? I also don't want to waste men's times if that makes sense.

I really appreciate all the great advice on this subreddit. Thank you :)

I've not told anyone this and I'm stressed. I can't decide whether spliting from my fiance is a good idea or something I'll come to regret.

I met him whilst I was a student at college. At this time I lived with my mother, and I had a hobby I loved- belly dancing. My mother used to come with me and watch me perform I now live with my fiance and he has banned me from dancing as he said he's jealous. This has made me feel so upset, I really really want to do it again.

My fiance has his own flat and we live together. The area that we're living in isn't the best. I have since started working after college. I've failed my driving test and waiting for another , in the mean time I'm taking the bus. I'm having to walk through this bad part of town at dark hours, there have been multiple stabbings here. On top of this the commute is 4 hours a day. I'm starting to feel fat and losing my body as I have no time to exercise except if I can muster energy up at the weekends. Im also too tired to cook every week, so we're relying on convenience food. I'm just trying to say that this is adding to my stress. He's also gone away this weekend to visit his friend, and next week he's going abroad to visit family, and with me out the house for so many hours on the week days and not being able to see him that much, I feel down.

My fiance has a relatively high paying job, and the goal is to move abroad in a few years. We both want to do that. So, I have a possible future with my fiance and I feel stable. He wants to get married, and wants children, which are my life goals too.

I find that my fiance often makes me nervous, like if we're going out togethor and someone were for instance to take our parking spot that we were about to drive into, he'll get mad and it gives me anxiety. This happens in quite a few scenarios that crops up in daily life. Hell go on to dislike the person who he feels has wronged him ( even if someone was in the right). I find that sometimes he lacks a masculine energy that I crave.

I find that he also isn't great socially, and doesn't know how to remain friendly with people, even if it involves pretending. There was an incident between him and one of his coworkers and this involved her getting mad at him at a works party we attended, with her insisting he apologise. Ever since then he tells me of the little games that are played whenever they see eachother, e.g trying to take other people that they are both talking to off eachother. He told me at work he was watching another coworkers presentation and at the end didn't clap becuase he felt down and didn't like the person presenting. He's also spoken badly about other coworkers to coworkers he's friendly with, these conversations have been over text where he's called them names like 'cow, b*tch'. If he's speaking one on one to someone he's ok, but pretending to like people for the sake of getting on isn't something he does, and I'm finding he makes enemies. He can be a little pushy with people too. I don't think people find him very likeable.

I find him to do small things that are selfish at times in our day to day life, and he is often asking me to make him a cup of coffee whilst we're both sat on the sofa.

Having said all of this, my fiance is good to me. He cares about me, he takes me in his car to work if he can, he helps me with important paperwork e.g related to work, he's recently made an effort to do more house work as he knows how tired I get. So in a lot of ways, it's hard to fault him. I feel comfortable with him and he's a nice guy.

So, I'm not sure whether leaving would be the best thing, or whether I'd be making a huge mistake. I'm 24 so I'm not that young anymore. Any advice I'd appreciate

I struggle with anxious attachment, and I am looking for ways that don't involve texting to connect daily...like on days without sex, dates, etc. I appreciate your input!

Edit: Married 16 years, two teenagers. I work nights three times a week. I don't prefer texting.

Hi guys. I am really having trouble with life overall so I don’t know if I’m being dramatic, over reactive, I don’t know, I need an outside opinion from RPW.

My fiancé and I have started grad school this August. We’ve officially moved in together, he pays for the rent and I pay for the utilities and ~80% of groceries. This is my first time in my own place and having two jobs at once (research assistant at school + online tutor). I’ve found it all incredibly overwhelming, having to handle school, work, and cooking and cleaning. My fiancé goes to school and he’s being paid from a fellowship so technically he’s just being paid to go to school. All day he just does some school work and then games or is on his PC. If I ask him to help with, let’s say, loading the dishwasher, he’ll do it but I have to always be asking.

He does not clean, he does not wash/do laundry, cook. I broke down the other day because it’s overwhelming having food always depending on me, and he said he can order take out, he will never cook cause he doesn’t know how. Well all these emotions have been bubbling and they just bursted inside me when I found out he’s still watching porn, something I have told him makes me upset. Now, I feel so stupid doing everything around here while he’s fantasizing about other women. It’s just breaking me at this point. I’ve been a mess this whole week. I feel no will or desire to cook or clean, to take care of myself (shoot, I barely have time for me-time anyway). I love him, I love his personality and he’s my best friend, but it feels like I’m his mom at times and I’m so tired of this whole porn thing. I’m starting to wonder if we are a good fit..which is scary to think about because this is someone I really, really love. But I don’t love feeling burdened with everything and having this porn issue on top.

Throughout this difficult time I’ve lashed out, been snippy and hostile, I’m just mean, I hate this. I don’t know how to deal with this with grace, I’m just fed up but then being so hostile also makes me feel even worse. How do you handle this from a RPW standpoint? I don’t know what to do or even what to think. I’m just all over the place and need a RPW perspective and guidance..please!

Reddit app is being weird and I can’t go up to edit, forgot to add we are both 26 and been together for 2 yrs.

Hi! To start, I'm a bit autistic. I was wondering how exactly I'm supposed to react to show the man I'm with that I'm thankful when he pays for the date. Just saying "thank you" would be very direct but weird, also what do you guys think about men paying for dates, I would love to think that it makes him feel manly because it makes me feel so cared for but maybe that's just wishful thinking. I've always had a hard time accepting gifts but I'm worried I'm not letting him lead how do I balance my feminist upbringing with my need to be taken cared of?

So there was this post on Twitter polling people to see if 5 white guys counted more than 1 black guy. A lot of people said the 1 black guy.

that got me curious, is it worse to have dated/slept with black guys as opposed to other races?

Even though I am high body count, I only want to date white men going forward, to be seen as virginal.

I think this is why most beautiful white women are unwilling to date black men in general

Successfully avoided a pick up artist

Hi. So last night I (26F) went to a bar and walked up to a guy I thought was cute. We hit it off right away and he started talking about couple’s costumes. He brought up Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky as a couple’s costume which made me think he was using the “bombarding with sexual imagery” technique that red pill teaches men. We then danced together and he kept escalating touch (kino) until we were outside and he kept touching my hair, hands, and love handles, not all at once but escalating slowly Which made me think of kino.

I then shit tested him with a “you’re so smooth, did you learn this in a class” and he lamely responded with a “if you were my teacher what would you teach me”

This made me think that he was a pick up artist because he tried to maneuver it like pick up artists like to teach men. That and the fact that he was cute and fit and 27 — not looking to settle down and certainly not looking to settle down with me, an over 200 lb no makeup 26 year old woman.

He went to go get me water and I ended up texting my virgin friend who encouraged me to keep up my streak (I haven’t had sex with a guy since January and I want to keep it up at least until I meet my husband, God willing I get married) and so I did.

I gave him my number just in case he was serious but he said he was from out of town and only stopping in for a wedding so I’m not holding out hope.

But I didn’t sleep with him. And you know what? I feel damn proud of myself from learning from my past mistakes. F you to all my haters who say I don’t have self control, this guy was cute and into literature like me and I still kept it in.

And you also know what? Even though I may never meet my future husband it’s still worth it to not be used like someone’s tissue paper. That is worth all the world to me, and I am keeping up my celibacy streak even if I don’t get married.

Thank you to the red pill for helping me and for my friend. They really helped pull me through.

i do have a high sex drive (coming from being diagnosed hyper sexual) and ive felt pretty shameful and gross about myself in the past from it. i just feel like it’s not “classy” behavior etc. should i be worried about this? sorry if this doesn’t make sense English is my second language to Swedish and it’s hard to explain things like this sometimes without sounding crude

My husband (47M) and I (46F) have been married for 29 years, we are each other's first everything. About 6 years ago, we both agreed to an open marriage because we felt like we missed out on so many experiences that young adults would normally have in their twenties. Since then, I have had 5 sexual partners ranging from a hookup to a 9 month relationship. My husband has had 1 sexual experience with an escort. As you may be aware, it is so much easier for women to find a willing partner versus men. In addition to the pre-existing problems in our marriage, we've compounded it with distrust, jealousy, control, hurt, etc. I asked my husband if he would be willing to close the marriage back up once he's able to have one sexual experience so that we can try to heal/rebuild our relationship before we end up divorced. He said that the only fair option would be for me to close my side of the marriage, allow him an undetermined amount of time to catch up to my body count before he agrees to close up the marriage. Please share whatever advice or experience you've had with this type of situation. Thank you in advance!

Like the poster from a few days ago, I also fall under the cluster B personality disorder. In the past couple of years, thanks to my boyfriend, I’ve worked hard to confront and manage the more toxic parts of myself. I’m far from perfect, but I’m trying, and I’ve made real progress in becoming a healthier person and partner. I’ve felt pretty good about the strides I’ve made and how I treat my boyfriend. We’ve consumed a lot of RP content together over the past two years, and I think it’s really helped improve our relationship, making me more aware of my issues and helping me take accountability for them.

Recently, my boyfriend started reading a book called The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar. The main idea of the book is that men are the ones being manipulated in society, particularly by women, who use emotional tactics, societal norms, and marriage to control them. The book argues that women exploit men as providers while portraying themselves as victims, and Vilar claims that modern feminism still encourages this dynamic. Personally, I find the book misogynistic and don’t think it offers a positive or constructive message.

I didn’t want to argue, I just didn’t want those ideas in my head. I didn’t think the book would have a positive impact on me or help me be a better partner. I never told my boyfriend not to read it—he’s smart, he’s a grown man, and he can do what he wants. But I didn’t want to participate in those conversations because I didn’t think they’d be healthy for me.

Last night, he wanted to discuss the book, and I warned him several times that it wasn’t for me and that I didn’t want to talk about it. Eventually, it turned into an emotional blowup on my part, which frustrated me because I’ve really tried to limit those kinds of reactions through techniques like STFU, emotional regulation, and other skills. After taking some time for self-care, we talked again. I told him I’d try to stay open-minded when he wants to discuss it, but I want to be in a good mental space when we do. I also explained that I think it’s a sensitive topic for me.

He responded by saying that if I don’t take the teachings of the book seriously, it might be a dealbreaker for him. I was honestly shocked. I’ve spent two years learning what men go through alongside him, recognizing how I’ve been a terrible partner in the past, and working to become the kind of partner my amazing boyfriend deserves. Now, I feel like all that work was for nothing, and I’m terrified that no matter what I do, I’ll never be able to please him, and he will always see everything I do as some sort of manipulation and not just because I respect and love him. This book—and the things it promotes—scares me. It doesn’t feel uplifting or constructive for me.

I don’t know what to do. I feel depressed and heartbroken over this situation. I don’t want to be inauthentic and pretend to support the ideas in the book just to placate him. I thought it would be okay for me to have a different opinion, but now I’m worried that he won’t accept that. I feel like my response to this book has destroyed the intimacy I’ve worked so hard to rebuild. Has anyone else read the book and can relate? How should I handle this situation? Am I overreacting?

Hello everyone !

English isn't my mother tongue, sorry if I make mistake !

So I (23F) met this man (39M) about 4 months ago. He's basically everything I've always dreamed for, I wasn't even asking for that much ! Extremely cultivated and curious, very healthy and sportive (he looks more 30 than 39 to be honest), creative (he makes perfumes as a hobby), with beautiful values and we have common goals.

I grew up in a traditional family (but not religious) who transmitted me values that I try to hold. Before him, I dated only 1 man for some months and under pressure I made the mistake to sleep with him 1 time and he was horrible (acted like a jerk really), I ended it right after.

We have been talking for quite a long time and dated a lot. He has a maturity and a culture that I have never seen before, he embodies a healthy masculine ideal and of course I'm very attracted to him. He told me everything, from the dark side of who he has been after the failure of his first long relationship (7 years) to the lightful side of who he became. I truly believe he has a beautiful soul.

However he has been hesitant because of our age difference. He told me that life isn't only about teaching and knowing something in theory, it's about confronting realities until we figure out who we are through the struggles. I felt he was unsure of my emotional maturity because I haven't face the situations that will trigger and reveal me to myself. He said that it is often when tensions appear because we often blame the other for the forces that exist within us and that we were just not conscious of (like revealing our dark side and having to tame it slowly). He said he has sadly seen this situation several times, of good willed young women who weren't not ready (and lied, manipulated, collapsed in emotional turmoil, broke basic rules of healthy relationship...).

I'm posting here because I know he has read a lot on psychology and evolutionary psychology, he told me how at some earlier point of his life, after the failure of a long relationship, he resented women and went through an anger phase, until he outgrew his anger through understanding, acceptance and compassion toward women's natural tendencies (I'm almost quoting him).

He also told me that I have to consider the fact that he might die first and I will have to spend 15 or 20 years of old age without him. I told him "our numerous children and grandchildren will keep me busy, I'm sure !" and I saw he a bit surprised (positively) by my confidence ahah...

He has set the frame of a very healthy relationship based on principles I entirely agree with. But because of this age difference, this problem of potential emotional maturity (and so on), he feels unsafe about me. He says that he is at a turning point of his life and he would like someone for the long road, that I can take the risk because I'm younger and can always change my mind in a few years.

We haven't slept together (well actually we did sleep together but didn't get sexual), so I don't think he's just checking out after getting sex, I think he sincerely wants something serious.

My questions are : what could I do or say to reassure him ? Any advice here from women who have this kind of age difference with their partner ?

Edit : I need to clarify. I didn't come here to be lectured on why it's "so wrong" and on all things that could go wrong ! My question was about what to say or to do to reassure him ! It was about positive guidance to make it work.

Some (young) people from this sub wrote to me private message to tell me they like my value and are interested in me and how it can't work. I can feel all the jealousy and social banning. I will answer publicly : you aren't wise, you are just another asshole trying to steal a girl from another man.

I thought this was a sub for traditional minded people but I'm just facing the same jealousy, bashing, assumptions and malevolence as with modern minded peole.

I want to thank the few persons who gave me somes valuables advices.

Hello lovelies. I am new to this forum - and to Reddit itself. I kept googling opinions/experiences with Laura Doyle’s books and Fascinating Womanhood and this RPW Reddit forum came up every time. So I thought “f—- yeah”, downloaded the app and here I am 😊 I have been implementing LD’s Six Intimacy Skills for about 18 months. I have also been watching some tradwife channels on yt and IG and using what resonates with me (we don’t subscribe to a particular religion). I am 44 and hubby 41. We have two wonderful sons and we homeschool. The Skills have really helped get our marriage back on track. I have a copy of FW on it’s way to me, in the post, and I’ve also made a reading list based on other books that have been mentioned here in RPW 😄 Please bear with me while I learn the lingo and all that. I am also in the process of browsing the pinned posts. I live a wonderful life with hubby, sons, pets and beautiful friends and I’m very grateful. I feel a little emotionally distant from hubby, at the moment - for a variety of reasons, I suppose - and I am hoping to dive in here, to help me close that distance. I do acknowledge that when I have a problem with someone, it’s usually because something is off within me. I would love to hear what your top RPW tips are, in general, please? I am grateful to have found this community and to be a part of it! ❤️

Figured you guys would know. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hello everyone, I've been a member of this community for a while, but I made a throwaway account as I don't want my boyfriend to find this post. If throwaway accounts aren't allowed, I apologize.

I'm 21F and my boyfriend is 34M. We have been together for 1 year and we live together. I am a full-time nursing student and also work part-time (24 hours a week) in a hospital. Including commute, classes, clinical hours, and my job, I'm out of the house 60 hours a week. This doesn't include time to study, which is quite a lot of time as a nursing student. My boyfriend is a work-from-home entrepreneur and influencer (I don't want to say the industry in case someone could find him online). He pays about 60% of the expenses and I pay 40%. He does genuinely work very hard and I respect him for what he does.

My issue: We constantly have friction over household chores (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc). The problem is that he thinks the woman should have to do all of the household chores, even when she works full-time, because women are "naturally more skilled at cleaning." I've tried explaining that I'm outside of the house for 60 hours each week (sometimes longer) and I need time to study too, so it would be appreciated if he could help at times, particularly on weeks when I have exams. I've tried doing all of the household tasks myself, but this caused me struggles when studying, and in order to do well on my exams, I had to pull all-nighters instead.

Right now, I have 5 exams in the next 7 days, so I haven't had time to deep clean, cook a nice meal, or do the laundry for the past 4 days (I have to go to a laundromat so it takes up more time than doing the laundry at home). I still make food for us, but he complains that I should "put more care into it" when I'm already so pressed for time...I also pick up after both of us and especially make sure his office is clean, yet he'll still complain if the apartment isn't close to spotless. Rather than helping out with some of this himself, he refuses and gets very upset with me. He says it takes away from his time at work and he needs to fully focus on his work each day. Another thing that irritates me. He says he needs to spend 12+ hours per day on work, but he often goes on Tiktok and YouTube for over one hour to rewind. When I take a small break (15 minutes) from studying he asks me why I'm not cleaning, but sometimes I need a short break too..

I really want to please him, so this is causing me significant stress. I wish I could be superwoman and do my 60 hours a week, study, have a spotless apartment, and 3 elaborate meals on the table each day, but it's so hard to make it happen and have time to sleep too! Also, because the rules ask, I'd say our sex life is normal (a few times a week) and I have no complaints in that regard.

I'm quite nervous about posting this but I would appreciate any advice from RPW because this subreddit has greatly helped me before. Thank you so much.

Hi! I’m 25(F) my husband is 30(M). We have been married 1.5 years. We have a baby and another on the way. We are Presbyterian and live a very traditional life. I stay at home with babies and he works. I value him as the head of our household.

For the whole 1.5 years. My husband has been calling, texting, sexting, planning meet up(claiming just fantasy), and lying/.manipulating me when I call it out. I have first reflected (and asked him) my part in it at the beginning of my marriage. He told me it’s not me it’s just his issues he had before we are married. He said more sex can help.

We have sex almost every day and I fulfill most of his fantasies enthusiastically. I’ve met all his asks. And to my knowledge and his words he is very happy with me as a wife.

However, lying, women, and manipulation still happens regardless of productive conversations.

I do recognize that I cannot chnage him or force him to do anything. I love this man dearly and do not believe in divorce in most situations. How to I handle this in a RPW way?

I want to remain emotionally attached and respectful, however, I’m having a hard time with it at this point since it’s been 1.5 years of it happening almost weekly. I’m hurt and tired!

How do I remain respectful and loving in this? Should I talk to my pastor for guidance? Should I see a therapist?

I'm an electrical engineer. I love math, programming, and physics. I'm very anti PC and I love discussing and debating taboo topics.

The number of women who like doing these things seems to be less than 1%. The result is that most of the people in my interest groups are male but I know that at this stage of life, male-female friendships are pure delusion. The men who aren't already attached are always looking to hit something. I'm not up for that, I just need a friend circle since I've moved to the other side of the country for work and my old friends aren't around anymore.

Hi I want to be a housewife but I live in a country (UK) where men don’t want this. Which countries can I meet these men?

I think my boyfriend may have a celebrity crush on Tyla, who was on the recent VS show. I am not really insecure about it since we are somewhat similar but I guess it might be wrong to entertain those fantasies he may have further. I thought about showing him the full show but then second guessed.

What do you think about watching the VS Show with your significant other, so essentially women in lingerie ? Should it be avoided or is it not a big deal in your opinion ?

What do you think about you SO having a celebrity crush as well ?