Does anyone else have anxiety around letting people hold their rainbow baby. We had a SB last summer which was handled very poorly by my in-laws. I won’t go into details however I basically felt I wasn’t allowed to grieve how I felt I needed to grieve and my few days with our child was ruined because of the in-laws overstaying their welcome and my husband not standing up for me. I’m currently 5 weeks PP and my in laws are visiting, due to the hurt around our SB I cannot bring myself to allow them to hold my rainbow. I know this is hurting my husband greatly however I just can’t bring myself to allow someone who hurt me so much ( and don’t understand how they hurt me) to hold something that means so much to me.

Looking for hopeful stories. I have just experienced my first pregnancy and miscarriage at 6.5 weeks. My husband and I go pregnant on accident, although we were about to start trying. While I was scared I have never felt so much joy finding out I would be a mother. Fast forward to Friday and I began bleeding. The miscarriage was confirmed today. I want to start trying straight away. I think as a way to fix my broken heart and prove that I can have a baby. I have also heard you are more fertile after a miscarriage. My husband wants to wait a few months until we move house, which was the original plan anyway. I understand his plan but this miscarriage has rocked me to my core. All I have ever wanted is to become a mum. I just want a baby in my arms now. Can anyone give me some hope that I will still get to be a mum one day?

My wife and I have been together for 11yrs married 11 in Sept. We got together and everything moved fast. Married within 3 months of dating, first confirmed pregnancy a month after that. Lost that one 9w5d in. Had to have a d and c cause at appt she should have been 14w. Fast forward a few years later, got pregnant. Did like 3 at home 1 at wicked test. Lost a week later. Fast forward to December 2023, month after my losing her Gma. She wasn't feeling good etc, so we just waited. X-mas morning did a clear blue test, pregnant. Gave her mom the gift of a possible grandchild, everyone was over the moon. Did everything carefully made sure she stressed as little as possible, even though she can't live without it, it seems. Have had some ups and downs throughout the past 10 months. Come 8/15/24, D DAY! Went in got induced. 11 hrs of labor, 40 minutes of pushing, lots of sweat, tears and joy. Out came our rainbow baby. 6lbs 12oz, 18.8in long. We are overjoyed with her. To anyone that's been deterred, don't be. Just live life, do your thing. One day when it's right you'll have someone up stairs bring you a rainbow. Thanks for reading.

I'm currently pregnant again after my first miscarriage in May and came across this research study which has amazed me. I hope it provides reassurance to you all. 🌈

The study reveals "how the experience of a first pregnancy makes a woman’s body much less likely to reject a second pregnancy with the same father."

https://scienceblog.cincinnatichildrens.org/moms-ability-to-remember-prior-pregnancies-suggests-new-strategies-for-preventing-complications/

I am struggling. I’m pregnant with my first rainbow baby after the loss of my first daughter who passed away at 13 days old. I delivered her on 12/22 and she passed away 1/4 of this year. And according to my current babies growth, I conceived at around 1/25-1/29 of this year. Which was not intentional, but definitely what I needed to keep myself going after the loss. So basically, I’ve been pregnant for about a year and 3 months-ish, and I am so ready to not be pregnant. Is that selfish of me? Am I just letting my emotions get the better of my mind? I’m glad I have this baby in my life, I just want her out now, but I still have about 3 months to go.

So it's basically what my title said. I had 3 miscarriages in the 2.5 years it took me to get pregnant with the little boy I just had. They were all really early (around 8 weeks) so I only got an ultrasound and due date for one of the three. The due date for that baby was June 25th 2023. My baby boy was born one month ago on June 25th 2024. I'm just not sure how to take this, on one hand it's a wonderful day because I have my baby, but it's also a sad day because that's the day my other baby was supposed to be born. I'm just kinda lost on how to feel about this and haven't been able to properly process my emotions around it.

Early May I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend and I were overjoyed. But just a week after our first doctors visit I miscarried. I was roughly over 6 weeks. I never got an ultrasound and the only labs I got were to check in that my hcg levels were dropping. It was my first pregnancy and I had no major issues but it was all very sudden. My heart aches still from the loss but here we are two months later and I am pregnant. My boyfriend and I are happy of course but we are both very nervous for what’s to come this time around. My first appointment is in a week and I am trying to take things easy and not worry but since the last time was so short lived im nervous to say the least this time around. I guess im just looking for reassurance, im just praying I get to hold a healthy baby in my arms in 9 months time.

We had a MC at 8.5 weeks earlier this year and have been given the OK to start trying again. I’m currently CD 22 (with 27-28 day cycles) and have been experiencing headaches, stomach aches, some bloating more recently, and I’m tired. Similar symptoms to my last experience within those first 8 weeks. I don’t know yet if we are pregnant, though I’m hoping. Could I be having some symptoms? Or am I possibly just overthinking?

Ok, so, the situation is this. My dad had a wife before meeting my mom. He was divorced with her before meeting my mom and after they married, they eventually had a baby, me. I found out that there's a possibility I might not have existed because my dad's first wife was to have a baby, but she miscarried. I know it's not in a traditional sense of rainbow baby, but for my dad, would I technically be considered his rainbow baby because he experienced the loss of a child to miscarriage before he even met my mom?

I need 10 more people to participate!

I am a doctoral student interested in hearing opinions of pregnant people through a 10 minute online survey. If you are interested, please click on the following survey link to see if you are eligible. To participate you must be at least 18 years old, currently pregnant with one baby with no pregnancy complications/conditions. If eligible you will receive a $5 Amazon gift card.Link: https://brown.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_dnJ6q4IRCx6OIVE

Hello everyone, I recently gave birth to my second daughter 6/4/2024. We lost her sister April 11th of 2023 to SIDS in the most traumatic way possible which still haunts me to this day. Its been a week since having our second baby girl home & i know she isn’t my first daughter nor does she look anything like her but i still call her by my deceased daughters name, i do it to let my first baby be acknowledged.. i say all the time if i hadnt lost my first daughter my second daughter would never be here. Life is so different now, we moved houses, we dont drive by our old neighborhood anymore, we have such a different lifestyle now. Im happy I cant lie but theres a huge sense of guilt behind what im feeling. My heart aches to be with my first daughter but i know i have a purpose here too

Found out we lost our first boy last year on February 22nd at 27w3d. He had been gone for about 2 weeks, I think he passed a day or two before my birthday. I swore I felt him moving but he wasn't. We're not sure what happened but it was either a problem with his placenta or a cord accident, but he was only measuring 21 weeks when I delivered him.

Yesterday our twin boys turned 3 months. I still think about Allan every day. He would have been a year old by now. Sometimes when he pops in my head while I'm taking care of my boys, when they start to smile and coo, he just fades out. I'm not forgetting him, but I'm forgetting all the what ifs.

There was a quote I saw that says something along the lines of when you miscarry you don't just morne your baby, but also the life you imagined for them. The plans you made. The experiences you were so excited to share with them. That's what I'm losing. I still have the few memories that only I got to share with him. The memories of his kicks and tumbles, my morning sickness, and cravings.

I have these two amazing little boys that I'm hoping would have made their big brother proud. I have so many memories to make with them that are going to be real and not just hopes and dreams that will never come to life. And I'm okay with that. It's so hard to say that, but I am.

Long story short - we had a miscarriage in January, D&C in February, then maybe a chemical pregnancy before finally getting a period in April. (And a normal period again now)

Now we’re talking about trying to conceive again, but I’m nervous. I’ve been taking prenatals all this time, and now I’m only drinking one cup of coffee and watching what I eat. The doctor said there’s nothing else we can do to better our chances.

I guess I’m just venting and hoping someone understands how I feel 🫶🏻

Hi there,

I’m after some reassurance.

Ive previously had two miscarriages and currently on 400mg of progesterone per day. I’ve not had my levels checked during pregnancy but day 21 levels were normal.

I’ve seen some studies linking it to autism and hypospadius in boys.

Please anyone who’s been on this let me know how their baby is?

Did your levels get tested during pregnancy before having this prescribed?

When did you stop taking these? Thanks

My son, Simon, was born September 1, 2022. I went in for my 20 week ultrasound and was greeted by silence. He was gone 2 weeks prior. I gave birth to him in the bathtub of my home. I held his unmistakeable little body that stopped growing at 18 weeks.

I’m so angry that I ruined my moment with him. I held him. I should have held him longer. I didn’t know what to do with him. No one told me. So I brought him to the doctors office in a bag. Where is my boy now? What did they do with my son?

I lost my second in an early miscarriage in the same bathroom. I spent the next year in the bathroom to be close to them. Even when I was pregnant with my LC, I stayed in the bathroom.

She was born in December. She is perfect. I love her. I just really miss my boy. I’m selling my house and trying to move forward. I recognize it is no longer healthy for me to run to the room that I last held my son in just to feel close to him. But part of me has never left the bathroom. I don’t want to leave him. Feels like if I sell the house he will be gone.

I miss him. I miss the hope I had for his life. I wonder what his eyes would look like. If he would have dark or light hair. If his sister resembles him.

Sorry for the rant or unloading. I know we all feel the same pain if we’re here. I just miss my boy. I can’t share the pain and guilt I feel with others who won’t get it.

My husband and I just had a miscarriage at the end of January. We did get pregnant fairly quickly, and everything seemed normal until 8.5 weeks when we lost the baby’s heartbeat. We would love to start trying again soon but the thought of another miscarriage is so scary. Just looking for any advice or similar stories to help us move forward and start TTC again. Is it possible to have a full term pregnancy so soon after loss? TIA!

I had a loss I'm finicky I'm not .u mention it I drop to the floor weeping I'm not ready to move on either .....here we are prego Im definitely tip toeing on glass I'm scared to sit stand thermometer in the bath scared to eat scared to not eat and drink water u get the picture Ive never had anxiety I know this is a form I don't want meds I don't want speculation on it I just need a long nap like 8m to be precise I just need reassurance that living like a human is safe

Just looking for some guidance, I've heard it's easier to get pregnant and to have a successful pregnancy after a chemical pregnancy and early miscarriage, has anyone had this? Is it true? I am trying to stay hopeful, I recently lost mine last month but we've started trying again but I'm scared of it happening again.

Im curious to see how parents age and number of losses might change how people bond with their rainbow baby

MC / SB: 2

I had a MC at 21 and 26, both before the second trimester

Age with rainbow: 27

Other Children: 0

My Bonding: I wanted to have kids since I was a teenager. All my friends or family who had kids I would always play with and babysit

With my own son, it seemed to be a bit of a battle with Bonding. My milk took a while to build up and I think I had PPD for a month or two

At 3 months the bond is getting better But it's nothing like I thought it would be. I hear all these other mums holding their babies 24/7

Im happy to put him down on a playmat after a feed and to entertain himself while I decompress or clean etc

Ive already spend 4hrs of his life away from him. Once for a post partum massage to help my back and once for hospital appointment and didnt see it as a big deal

I also didn't do a lot of skin to skin because of how tired and ill I felt till 6 weeks

==

I wonder if I didn't have losses, or had a baby before 24 I would have a closer bond to baby

My husband and I are healing from a TFMR. Our baby girl was 20 weeks. Our hearts are broken, but we are wanting to try again, and trying to figure out how long we have to wait. One doctor said 2-3 months, the other said 3-6 months, but a study done by the NIH showed that women who started trying within 3 months were more likely to conceive and more likely to have a healthy pregnancy than those who wait. I feel that I am healing, both emotionally and physically, fairly quickly.

How long did you wait and how was the experience of TTC after your loss(es)?? Please help to inspire me that we will get our happy family. This was my first pregnancy.

Good morning ladies, anyone here diagnosed with IUGR at 37 weeks? My baby is measuring at 34 weeks and weights about 5 lbs 1 oz. I’m sick worried as this my rainbow baby. Any success stories? She was measuring just fine (don’t know about the percentiles) at our 20 week anatomy scan and everything looked good. I’m sick worried about this!

Hi there. I just found this group and I wanted to share that I make photo edits of our rainbows with our angels since they never got to meet. If you lost them before they were born I user silhouettes. I can't share an example here and I hope it's OK to post this. If you want to see some of the ones I've done or you would like one just let me know. I don't charge anything, it's rewarding enough to give that picture that we all wish we could have.

I am so sorry for everyone's losses.i lost my angel when he was 58 days old and it has been 5 years as of the 26th of this month. I hope that someday we can all find some peace.

Hi, I am looking for some some positive stories that will help me from spiraling as we wait to get our recurrent pregnancy loss testing scheduled. I am 33 yo and 23 months postpartum with my first child. Getting pregnant with our son was extremely easy, happened the first month and had no complications others than a failed induction at 42 weeks. Had a c-section and baby was born healthy.

My husband and I started trying again in October. Got pregnant the same month, but immediately started bleeding the day I took a positive pregnancy test. Was a confirmed miscarriage within a few days. I was very sad but tried to keep my anxiety in check, as I've seen the statistics about how many women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. I was pregnant again shortly afterwards, again on the first month of trying, and last week we went to our first 9 week ultrasound appointment. There was no heartbeat, and I am currently in the process of miscarrying.

I am devastated, terrified, and looking for some sort of reassurance or hope from others who have been in this situation. The doctor specifically said two back to back miscarriages is "abnormal" and we are planning on getting a testing panel done soon. I am also extremely concerned that the c section process caused some sort of structural damage that will prevent me from every successfully having another child. Academic articles online seem to support the idea that there is an increased risk of miscarriage after c sections, but none of the medical professionals I've asked about this have agreed. Dreading the idea of trying again because I know I can get pregnant easily, just not stay that way for some reason.

Basically looking for anybody else out there with similar stories of miscarriages after c-section who had positive outcomes eventually and what action was taken if any. Thank you all in advance.

My little girl passed away 3 days after she was born, she was born at 28wks with CDH. Today she would be 6. We have since had a son, who also caused my wife to go into preterm labor at 28weeks, but that time they were able to stop it and he came out at 32. He turns 5 in 2 weeks, which is crazy to think about. We are also expecting another in May. We’re super excited, we had our 21week ultrasound and learned she didn’t have CDH, which was massive for us. Now sitting, hoping we don’t go into labor at 28weeks, but basically planning for it now. I’m excited to have a little girl since our first was taken away from us. Thinking about her a lot today, doesn’t help having to tell my mother in law to take down a picture of our daughters body next to some stuffed animals. (Don’t get me started) she spent a good 15 minutes with her body after she passed posing stuffed animals around it for the perfect photo… luckily she took it down with out fuss, but it really upset my wife and I that she thought it would be ok to post that. Anyway. Here’s to our little girl. 💜

Hi everyone!

I'm finally pregnant again (4+5) after trying for about 10 months - I had a blighted ovum in late January 2022, followed by a chemical pregnancy in December 2022 (last cycle).

When I got my very, very faint positive last cycle (which ended in a chemical at 4+1), I felt so connected to that baby. I swear I could feel its presence within me. I sang to it. I talked to it. I could feel the spark of life inside me. My super faint line continued to get lighter until it was nothing. My baby WAS there. I felt its life force. Then I lost it, and my world crumbled.

I was so surprised when I tested positive again this cycle. I never for a moment thought I was pregnant - I thought my period was late. At 15DPO, I got a dark positive that just keeps getting beautifully darker with each day. My hCG levels are rising perfectly.

I feel so pregnant - my breasts are sore and heavy, I can feel my uterus growing, I'm having aversions to food, etc. It should be reassuring, but then I'm reminded that I felt all those things during my first pregnancy that ended in blighted ovum, too. I never once thought anything was wrong - how could it be when I was clearly SO pregnant?

I was so wrong. And I'm afraid to be wrong again.

I want this baby more than anything in the world. I'm so happy and excited to be pregnant again... But I feel like I'm hesitant to really feel those feelings. I feel like it's not real, like the other shoe could drop at any time.

What's even worse is that I don't feel the same presence I felt when I had my chemical - I don't feel the same vibrant life. Why can't I feel that my baby is there?

Why don't I feel the same connection I felt with my chemical pregnancy? I'm afraid what my feelings might mean. I'm afraid it's some sort of intuition. I think it really comes down to me being afraid to love again a baby-that-never-was, another blighted ovum. I'm ashamed because I feel like I'm not showing the same sort of love to this baby. I want to so badly. Maybe these feelings are defensive mechanism to protect myself from another heartbreak. I don't know. I just want to know that my baby is there so I can be free to love them with all my heart again.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Did you feel a lack of connection and have it progress to a healthy pregnancy? I think it would help so much to hear from others who have gone through this, because I feel so lost. Thank you so much💗

This time an early miscarriage. It felt so good to have things seem to just go right and easy this time but it didn’t work out. I feel so so lucky to have my daughter with me, she is such a cheeky and wonderful ray of light. I feel so exhausted though about how hard I have to fight and keep fighting for the family we want, sometimes the ‘it’s just bad luck’ feels incredibly overwhelming. I know a few of you have gone through this type of thing too so wanted to come here to let it out instead of, I dunno screaming in the shower or something, but also I wanted to send some extra love out to you beautiful humans whose lives have touched mine over the years because of this shared pain

Hello! Just looking to see anyone else’s similar experiences. This is my first cycle being on progesterone starting @ 3DPO. Currently 7dpo. Yesterday and today I have had bad headaches and ton of nausea. Also had some bare minimal pink spotting yesterday, twice when I wiped. I know progesterone can mimic pregnancy symptoms but not sure if what I’m experience is super normal of people that have been put on progesterone. Am I just now starting to feel these symptoms bc of a built up amount of progesterone? I’m so Leary to get excited, especially after 2 recent miscarriages this year. For those that have been on progesterone have you had similar experience where they def were progesterone effects or did that turn out to be pregnancy symptoms ? TIA from a very hopeful mama.

My rainbow baby is 4 weeks old at this moment. She sleeps safe and sound in her cradle right next to me. It feels secure, I can hear her breathe, I can hear her doing ok when she is right next to me. Her siblings both moved to their own room very quickly because we all kept eachother awake and nobody was sleeping well. For them and us it was the best way of sleeping. With her, putting her asleep at night in her room away from us frightens me. I know she can sleep with us for as long as it works for all of us, but still....I can't lose another baby.... We lost her sister at 20 weeks pregnancy, i really hoped with giving birth most of the the anxiety would disappear.

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 10 posts:

• "I felt pure joy for the first time since my first miscarriage at a pregnancy announcement!" by u/freia24
• "when your guard is down it hits...." by u/Helpful-Food7790
• "I don’t know how to keep this up" by u/Nimezs
• "Do you ever have the urge to do it all over again despite knowing how scary it is?" by u/Nimezs
• "I have my rainbows but I still feel angry and jealous." by u/stephyro
• "The little things" by u/Nimezs
• "Need some feedback/opinions" by u/MissChanandlerBong07
• "Hi all. Sharing a lullabies playlist I put together in case anyone is looking for some bedtime music for their little ones or for themselves..." by u/EveBranson
• "A surprising new emotion" by u/Nimezs
• "Daily update thread" by u/AutoModerator

Our little rainbow is a little over a week old today we were mailed a present. A book called " guess how much i love you" together with a card that said "for (name rainbow girl) but also for her sister (name still born daughter)" I couldn't stop crying.