For the record, I’ve named the outdoor kitchen on my camper “Quark’s Bar.” I’ve also renamed the bathroom in the camper “Quark’s Bathroom.” My wife is not pleased.

*The scene opens to the outside of Quarks Bar. As the camera "walks into the bar", it passes Morn, who excitedly waves hello to the viewers. Silly Morn, what a chatter-box. The camera settles on an empty bar-stool. On it's side is a metallic beetle-oid approximately the size of a Praxis Targ, or two Earth House-Cats, attempting to scale the bar-stool. Unfortunately, the Beetle is too short and keeps falling off between the first and second foot-stool ring. The Beetle-oid curses, producing sounds like an AOL dial-up machine, and uses one of its forward limbs to maneuver the bar-stool so that the back-rest is facing towards Quark and his Bar. The alien then walks a few feet away from the stool, turns around, and produces a more organic sounding scream as it leaps off the ground. Enabling a pair of back-thrusters from under its carapace that propel it into the air after a running start and lands the bug in his seat.*

Metallic Beetle-oid: "FINALLY!" *He huffs and puffs before adjusting himself so that he has two sets of legs on the bar, and two on the seat* "I've been trying to reach the Bar since my shift ended! BARKEEP!?" *As he speaks, the front-segment that contains his head displays no facial features, besides two large compact-eyes that take up the majority of it's head. The eyes change from a frustrated Orange to a calmer Turquoise.*

I love the bit when dax plays tongo and gets the other ferengi mad. Also the part when the alien finds Quark in the holosuite instead of kira.

What do you think he's hiding?