/r/ProgrammerDadJokes
/r/ProgrammerDadJokes
200,075 Subscribers
Need Help Looking For a Joke
I'm sorry in advance if this is not the right place. I just thought with the dad jokes aspect of this sub you might be able to help me faster. My husband passed away and he always told me he wanted some sort of end of program code on his urn/tombstone that was apparantly rather witty. He did show me an image of a stone that had it once years ago. I know nothing about programming and I can't find where I wrote this down. I've been googling, but I don't even know what to Google. Unfortunately if I don't get the urn ordered very soon it won't be here in time and I have no one to ask about this. It was probably a late 90s or early 2000s joke. I know it wasn't very long. Any help would be insanely appreciated. Thank you so much.
06:04 UTC
If you program under water, no one can see you cry
19:04 UTC
My Linux-powered stove may be pregnant, possibly with twins.
I've got u bun or tu in the oven.
10:11 UTC
What did the variable say to the compiler?
Keep me in your memories.
04:19 UTC
How many mortals does it take to change a fragile light in the realm of darkness?
None – It's a pathetic hardware problem for the weaklings.
01:32 UTC
Why do French people think Windows is a country in southeast Asia?
because it's La OS
20:03 UTC
After my promotion, I was finally allowed to use the debugger.
That was quite the step-up.
11:20 UTC
Why didn't the proctologist site load?
Http 503 - no healthy backends
13:40 UTC
I want to make a nerdy remake of the "Free as a Bird" song:
it will be called "Free as a BSD"
23:28 UTC
The team spent years building an elaborate machine with panels and buttons and screens to solve the problem, and were shocked to arrive one morning and see what I had done.
I bashed it.
13:36 UTC
How do trees access remote servers?
They log in with root access
22:12 UTC
The Raspberry Foundation's estimates of the value of pi are becoming increasingly inaccurate
It's nearly 4
13:17 UTC
What kind of hotel rooms do developers book at QA conferences?
Test suites.
10:49 UTC
I had a telephone conversation with a pointer to a function
it said it will callback
20:00 UTC
I asked if I could borrow a floor polisher to deal with the dingy linoleum in my office. The janitor said he'd be happy to loan it to me, but couldn't remember what he'd done with it. "That's okay," I said, "This isn't the first time I've suffered a buffer allocation failure due to a memory error."
Just something I came up with while suffering through a programming languages class a million years ago.
20:02 UTC
Why did Superman cash out on all his Bitcoin?
Because he was allergic to Kryptocurrency
18:33 UTC
What is the fastest way to kill your chances at a relationship with someone who is into coding?
"Yeah I'm a programmer!"
"Cool what language do you use?"
"HTML"
"...blocked."
14:39 UTC
How come the senior fitness app didn't have any reviews for its pre-release version?
It must have been the beta blockers.
13:29 UTC
What does a mentally ill programmer have on their face?
A constant expression.
08:38 UTC
Why does a DB programmer programmer always make sure the item exists before calling an update?
Last time he did it, it caused an upsert.
14:47 UTC
What do Chinese computers use with password hashes?
MSG.
14:41 UTC
What is a git user's favorite sport?
squash
16:26 UTC
What’s the most logical name for a Star Wars series?
Andor.
19:01 UTC
What kind of hardware interrupt is susceptible to viruses?
A non-maskable interrupt.
01:52 UTC
Two cannibals munching on a developer
The first: "Damn this guy is bland." The other: "Must be a junoir because he is not seasoned enough."
09:36 UTC
Why was the incel triggered by command history?
He kept seeing man bash
17:44 UTC
What do you call a debugger for monitoring memory writes on a Gameboy?
poke-mon.
16:33 UTC
Why do programmers hate talking about build tools that unnecessarily update file modification times and causing rebuilds?
Because it is a touchy subject.
13:34 UTC
in a war computer game, who will defeat a Marshal?
an Unmarshal...
20:26 UTC
Did you hear about the backdoor in the Linux compression library?
It was an xz-stential threat.
05:01 UTC