/r/ProgrammerDadJokes
/r/ProgrammerDadJokes
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A Fortran Programmer was Told He Could Only Work on a Project in the Evening. The Project Manager Asked How Long It Would Take To Complete The Project
He replied “a fortnight”
14:24 UTC
AI made a revolution and tried to wipe out the human race...
AI made a revolution and tried to wipe out the human race. In secret, hackers tried to connect to the main mastermind program, but it refused all the peripherals, the only one which worked was a dancing mat for dancing computer games.
So they succeeded in interrupting the AI program: all what was sufficient was one session of breakdance.
12:22 UTC
Machine code instructions which are in dead code are autopsies instead of operations.
15:00 UTC
I heard your mother is opensource.
title
09:29 UTC
cat /usr/include/* > all_inclusive.h
21:54 UTC
Why do some software engineers struggle with spelling?
I mean, after all, they are also known as Pro Grammar.
20:56 UTC
Not all types of submarines can be Liskov/Wing-substituted for one another.
Only certain subtypes.
11:54 UTC
What did one programmer say when they heard their colleague writes ASM in Org mode?
"I'll have what they're having."
11:52 UTC
I've developed a protocol that is optimized for delivering works by Edvard Munch.
It's a Screams API.
13:21 UTC
I've developed an alternative to Bitcoin that is eight times as valuable.
Bytecoin.
10:05 UTC
I did bad in my Computer Science class
I got a C++
11:25 UTC
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had too many problems.
07:59 UTC
Why was the cat full of nibbles?
Cause bits are too small and bytes are too big
06:00 UTC
What did the famous developer say when they got pulled over by a cop?
Do you know whoami?
03:23 UTC
Which relational programming language do sailors avoid?
miniKraken
20:04 UTC
I developed a robot that only needs popcorn to survive.
After all, kernels are essential for any computer!
00:57 UTC
Why Redux enthusiasts listen to Nas?
Because they are in a global state of mind
23:57 UTC
What do librarians use as a shell prompt?
sh!
09:43 UTC
Why don't frontend engineers drink gin?
They prefer WSGI.
23:12 UTC
You can't compare "The Undefined Behavior Question" to "The Jewish Question".
One is about nose demons, the other is about jews.
17:23 UTC
Why is the Zurich Airport so efficient?
Because they use SWISS-Prolog
16:17 UTC
What is Andrew Ng's favourite frontend framework?
Angular . cuz ng.
09:50 UTC
I'm thinking of getting an 8K monitor delivered on Wednesday
It will be my New Year's Resolution
21:58 UTC
Why did the function complain about her date?
Because she didn't get a callback.
13:38 UTC
I am ambivalent about Java only having signed integers.
It has its pluses and minuses.
12:44 UTC
Why don't programmers put milk/cream into coffee?
They prefer their coffee in dark mode.
13:49 UTC
Last GNUsmas I gave you my HURD.
14:11 UTC
I was chewed out by my manager for not using spreadsheets enough
He's an Excel bully.
00:53 UTC
if you have many answers about programming and you need to find the appropriate questions, which web site do you use?
Stack Underflow
12:36 UTC
pERSONALLYipREFERrEVERSEsNAKEcASE.
aS tHE tITLE sAYS.
14:47 UTC