/r/predaddit

Photograph via snooOG

This is a supportive community for all future dads who are preparing for the life-changing journey of fatherhood.

Male-oriented version of r/BabyBumps to guide fathers-to-be through the most interesting nine months that life has to offer.

We're building a curated historical predaddit knowledgebase in our Wiki. Please check it out!

Other relevant reddits:

/r/predaddit

68,574 Subscribers

15

My son was just born and I am terrified

My wife’s blood pressure spiked on Thursday at 38 weeks and they decided to induce. She did incredible and handled labor like a pro and I’m so proud of her.

It was scary when he came out because he didn’t cry and they had to immediately make sure he was okay. He then would stop breathing for a few seconds and he would have to be stimulated to take another breath. They were going to put him in the NICU but decided not to due to his O2 levels normalizing but now I am terrified to fall asleep and I am constantly checking to make sure he is breathing.

This has been the most insane life changing few hours of my life and it has still not fully set in yet and I feel out of my body still processing.

I would appreciate any advice or words of encouragement because I am feeling very nervous at the moment about not knowing what the heck I’m doing.

13 Comments
2024/11/02
06:00 UTC

16

Baby is breech at 37 weeks.

Hey y’all anyone else dealt with a breech baby? We would like to avoid a C-Section if possible. We are being scheduled for an ECV but are hoping to flip baby before that. Anyone had success with doing it on your own? To be clear asking for home remedy type methods not how to do an ECV on our own. We have looked at spinning babies and she has acupuncture and a chiropractor appointment already.

Thanks.

Edit: there is a lot of accusing me of being an idiot and ignoring our providers advice. To be clear and I’ll say this loud for those in the back our provider told us to do those three things listed. I am asking for advice from what has been a really supportive community but I’m pretty annoyed at the responses to this thread.

I do not ignore science and in fact have worked in the scientific field and education for over 15 years. My wife is a has a PhD in science. We are quite capable of discerning between pseudoscience and science. So if you have any problems with asking people for what has worked for them in the past then kindly move on.

49 Comments
2024/11/01
05:58 UTC

3

My gf told me she is pregnant. It was unplanned. I am trying to deal with the emotions

Couple of days ago my girlfriend told me she is pregnant. I was in total disbelief. Its been a couple of days ago and I have been trying to deal with my emotions. Basically I can equate the feelings to someone died or a bad break up. Been going through the stages of grief. I guess in a sense my freedom and my childhood died. Life getting real. Abortion is off the table. She already made up her mind long time ago before she told me.

Luckily we are both in our early 30s with good stable careers and Its someone I would be okay with having a child with. I wanted it couple years down the line while she always wanted much earlier. She was on birth control but things happen I guess. Lately I have just been depressed and sad about the whole situation. I haven't been eating much and would randomly break down and cry. The news is still very fresh to me. She mentions she doesn't want to bother me and if I don't want to be involved thats fine. Her and the child can do it alone. I plan to be very involved but haven't gotten to the stage of acceptance yet. I know this will drastically change our lifestyle and I am just worried. Worried about the future. Worried if things won't work out between me and my gf worried that this won't work out etc... I always been on a fence about having a child and this happens.

48 Comments
2024/10/31
04:10 UTC

19

I was a step dad before i become “daddy”

Hey all! I’m 25 years old and as the title suggests i have a wonderful step son who’s a few years old. I recently found out my wife is pregnant and I’ve been through the moon excited, but i feel kinda guilty. I find myself saying “I’m gonna be a dad” when i technically already am. My son’s father is half in half out so I’m really his main father figure, so i have no doubt in my mind that that boy is my son. But regardless, I’m not daddy, I’m just my name. So I’ve found myself being excited about it but i don’t want my son to feel like i only cared till i had my own, or that i don’t enjoy being his step father. It’s just genuinely a weird place to be a step dad before I’ve had any of my own kids. Has anyone been in my situation? How did you rationalize it in your head? I just wanna feel like I’m being excited for the right reasons

6 Comments
2024/10/31
00:05 UTC

20

Graduated

Graduated today. Baby is healthy and mom is a superhero. This subreddit has helped me immensely. Good luck to all pre-dads out there. 🫡

2 Comments
2024/10/30
22:49 UTC

3

When to schedule first Appointment?

Just found out on Monday my wife and I are expecting, how far long in the pregnancy do you schedule the first appointment? I suppose we’re about 4 weeks into it and our scheduled appointment is Nov 19th.

5 Comments
2024/10/30
20:42 UTC

11

Completely lost on Bonding time

So my company allows 3 months of continuous leave and 2 months of intermittent leave to choose from. I absolutely have no idea which is the better to choose from. On one end I hear the continuous is a lot less paperwork needed to fill from state/work and that the intermittent is a bit trickier. This is a first time baby so I've never done this before & am completely lost. If I was to take the continuous, I am almost 100% sure I would cut it short at the 2 month mark just so that I could be making more $$$ with the lady being on her leave/off of work. We definitely could use the extra funds after that point. I have seen lots of people say they took intermittent and did 2 weeks when the baby was born and the rest at around 6 months when the baby isn't sleeping all day. This sounds very much preferred by me but I am unsure on how that works, what paperwork is included on top of that (basically the complexity of the process)

11 Comments
2024/10/30
20:08 UTC

27

Graduation day

Hey all - not sharing photos because we’re really trying to not share images of our daughter online, but yesterday at 5:38 PM, I graduated! I’ve already learned that I’m way better at changing diapers than I thought I was, but I clearly need more swaddling practice. I’ll get there.

Thanks to all of you for your support, advice, and ideas either in responses or just from reading your posts. Thrilled this community exists and to all you pre dads, keep your head up! You’re all gonna do great.

That includes those of you trying and waiting. My wife and I waited almost 10 years for this day to come, including a LOT of tests, trials, emotions and even some surgeries. For a good while we really began to despair that we’d never see this day. Don’t give up!

3 Comments
2024/10/30
16:05 UTC

5

Baby preparation

Hey Y’all! My wife is currently 25 weeks pregnant, but unfortunately working crazy hours. So she hasn’t had much time to prep for baby. I do a majority of house stuff, cooking, repairs, dog walking, etc since I work less and work from home. I’m getting the nursery ready and was wondering if you guys had any recommendations on items I would need or where to buy. Is second hand good enough. Besides a rug, crib, changing table, small dresser and maybe a lazy boy not sure what else I would put in there. Maybe one of those cameras and get an AC unit in here?

Also what about the SNU?? Is it really worth it and will the baby become dependent on it. It’s not the cost that worries me it’s the dependency on this machine.

One other thing - what things for a nursery do you put on a baby shower list.

I kinda just feel like winging it . Get the bare necessities and a night nurse lol.

9 Comments
2024/10/30
14:47 UTC

0

What do you think, boy or girl? reupload with better crop

2 Comments
2024/10/30
14:43 UTC

25

Graduated! And got a pretty decent fold out cot to sleep on!

Well boys, it finally happened! Scheduled c section went super smoothly. My wife was just saying "this is so cool" while we were in there! Once baby was out, I got to take photos of him and even asked if I could get a photo of the placenta because I knew my wife would want to see it! She got the clear drape, too, so she got to see him get pulled out. I got to peek behind the curtain the whole time, so I got to watch her get cut open and everything. Very cool stuff.

Will be in post partum for a few days. Baby is looking healthy and happy, and so is mom. She says she feels better than she did in the third trimester, despite just having just had abdominal surgery. We think tomorrow might not be as comfortable, but we'll see! (She had a real shitty painful third trimester, so I do believe that this could actually be a more manageable kind of pain! Very clear reason for the pain so it's easier to pinpoint and understand, I bet?)

I got a whole fold out cot--almost twin size?! Huge! I thought I was just getting the chair that leans back flat but this was a surprise bonus. I'm laying down right now and it's damn comfy for a cot. A little... shaky? Don't sit on the ends lol

Hope you are all doing well. Y'all have been great through this. See you on the other side :)

1 Comment
2024/10/30
04:27 UTC

0

Boy or girl?

19 weeks ultrasound

6 Comments
2024/10/30
04:03 UTC

7

Anxious about anatomy scan

We have the anatomy scan on Thursday this week and I’m feeling a lot of fear and anxiety at the thought of getting the results.

My wife is 20 weeks and she’s not really showing at all, so I am (probably irrationally) fearing that something has gone wrong. We’ve already told everybody about the due date, and a loss at this stage would be completely devastating

Just sharing because I can’t stop thinking about it

15 Comments
2024/10/30
01:41 UTC

4

This negative test has really depressed me

Me, 30M and my partner, 33f, have been trying to conceive for months now; around 5 months. I wish we started earlier, I always imagined we would just get pregnant straight away like so many of our family and friends who have multiple children already.

I smoke at night time, drink, train 6 days a week and have an extremely balanced healthy diet. My body fat percentage is 15 percent and all my bloods are extremely healthy. I am now quitting the smoking / drinking.

My partner has put on a lot of weight recently which, doesn’t bother me as she has a very demanding job, is very short which makes it even harder not to gain weight and, is still beautiful to me. She is probably technically “obese” now though, being so short. This is now worrying me, not because she isn’t beautiful, because it’s also not ideal for conceiving. We speak about all this stuff openly and honestly.

My partner is a smoker too (fucking vaper) but doesn’t drink at all. She eats pretty healthy considering I cook for her but, sometimes eats like shit.

Anyway, she has irregular periods and her last was like 7 days early. We have been TTC for roughly 5 months now with the last few months being proper efforts of me just busting nuts like they are going out of fashion around the time of ovulation.

She is due for her period today however, no period has come. She usually has stomach cramps and light bleeding in the days leading up to her period however, is experiencing none. Technically, she is one day late.

So of course, we did the usual compulsive pregnancy test first thing this morning, negative. Fucking depressing. We are booked in to get some further tests done as well as proper ovulation tracking for her and a seamen sample for me. This is starting to really affect me though, I am angry throughout the days at work and mostly angry at myself. Angry at myself for not yet quitting smoking, still having a few drinks a week and, not being able to get my partner pregnant as of yet.

This is just a vent and I know I need to do better. I know countless people who got pregnant well and truly before this point. I am starting to feel pretty defeated.

30 Comments
2024/10/30
00:51 UTC

20

June2025

Excited, found out about 2 weeks ago that my wife is pregnant. She is currently 7weeks now. My first child, first everything. Lost my father at a young age(4), I am now 29. Looking forward for this new chapter in my life to be a father.

4 Comments
2024/10/30
00:11 UTC

6

Any "Expecting Dads" discords or groups?

A few weeks ago, my wife and I found out that she is pregnant and I've been nothing but a ball of stress from that day. 90% of my friend group have had children and my dad isn't much for talking, so I feel stranded on an island without much help.

I scoured Reddit for "expecting dads" and found a few older sub-reddits for new dads but there are months between posts and very little discussion outside of here. So I am here looking for people who are in a similar position as I am and could share our experiences and information as it comes along.

9 Comments
2024/10/29
23:17 UTC

76

13 weeks so far

First time dad, scared out of my mind but also very excited. So many questions, don't know where to begin. I hope to learn a lot from books mentioned on this subreddit and posts.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

4 Comments
2024/10/29
22:04 UTC

5

Any other 41w+ dads here?

We expecting our third any time now. My wife is at 41+1 now. The waiting really starts to become a mental burden. Especially for my two boys (9&6). They really can’t wait to meet their small brother.

My wife is taking it like a champ, so proud of her.

Any other impatient dads here?

5 Comments
2024/10/29
19:06 UTC

2

Hey Boys!

Sunday morning is when my wife tested positive after we had been trying for a couple months. We are very excited! I already purchased and started reading the expectant father and watched knocked up. Are there any other forms of media you guys recommend? I also am curious when you guys think I should start telling friends and family. Thanks fellas!

5 Comments
2024/10/29
17:27 UTC

18

Push Present

My partner is due to give birth in the next few months. She's landed a few hints about wanting a push present. Not sure how common it is, but any thoughts about what to get? Have you given one to your partner?

Uk based, have cross posted here.

33 Comments
2024/10/29
12:48 UTC

10

What is something you’ve bought that most probably haven’t?

As we prep our go bag and home for our first baby, what are some purchases you’ve made that have been helpful that are out of the ordinary? Looking for items that are likely not on most lists you’d find by searching the internet for “what to buy” before having your first kid. Thanks in advance!

32 Comments
2024/10/29
11:21 UTC

212

Update: Our baby boy has arrived and he's perfect!

He’s healthy and stable, with just a minor tongue tie that the pediatrician was able to fix right away. My wife is in recovery now and doing well, too.

8 Comments
2024/10/29
06:58 UTC

41

After 2 Losses, we're finally here

It’s surreal — in just two hours, my wife will go in for a scheduled C-section, and we’ll finally meet our baby boy. This moment feels like a long time coming. After two heartbreaking miscarriages in 2022, we’ve been holding our breath throughout this pregnancy. Now, we’re so close, and I can’t believe it’s really happening.

I’m feeling a mix of emotions right now: excitement, anxiety, gratitude, and honestly, a bit of fear. I’m incredibly proud of my wife — she’s been so strong through everything, and now she’s about to go through this surgery to bring our son into the world.

Thanks for being a part of this journey. I’ll catch you on the other side — officially a dad after everything we’ve been through.

6 Comments
2024/10/29
03:17 UTC

117

Uhhhh guys…?!?

Been trying for 3 months. I’m 27 and wife will turn 28 next week. Wife just loss her job last Friday. But I’m shocked we finally got to this moment. Idk what God is up to right now because life doesn’t make sense right now but I’m for it. Any advice is greatly welcomed? This will be our first.

37 Comments
2024/10/29
01:32 UTC

16

Baby gender 13weeks any ideas please?

23 Comments
2024/10/28
20:20 UTC

106

Graduated 10-27-2024! 8 Lbs 7 oz. 20 1/2 inches tall.

9 Comments
2024/10/28
12:56 UTC

71

Graduated a day or 2 ago

Hey guys, I've been lurking for a while on this sub finding posts similar to how I feel and reading everyone else's stories. And I just gotta say ya'll are some of the most wonderful people with the words of advise and encouragement.

Like I said I'm more of a lurker and applying other people's stories because I get nervous, but even just doing that you guys have helped me go through a lot of rough patches during my wife's pregnancy. Keep being awesome guys, from the quiet crowd in the back.

And if anyone sees this and feels how I do and just wants to read other stories, it does get better, sometimes it might not seem like it ever will but holding my boy melted everything I was worried about. You got this!

1 Comment
2024/10/28
10:19 UTC

10

I really want to be a Dad so badly but I feel like I’ll never find anyone.

I’m 29 from England, there are a lot of things I want to do in this world but one thing that has stood out recently is my ambition to be a Dad and have my own family to provide for ♥️

I’ve seen friends and family have their own children (even some friends who don’t even care about their children) and I’ve been wondering when it will be my turn? Or if it’s even in my future.

My life hasn’t gone the way I wanted it to, especially after the pandemic, I had to move back in with my parents after I lost my job and that’s been a huge fiasco, so it’s been harder than ever to meet people.

I’m praying every single night that my circumstances change because I can’t take this anymore.

There are so many things I want.

26 Comments
2024/10/28
09:34 UTC

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